Was
Was

Was

Liked
Liked

Liked

Telled
Telled

Telled

Write
Write

Write

All About
All About

All About

By Myself
By Myself

By Myself

Get Drunk
Get Drunk

Get Drunk

Rekt
Rekt

Rekt

Confusing
Confusing

Confusing

Phil
Phil

Phil

🔥 | Latest

Ass, Click, and Energy: Portia Moemedi Follow @PortiaMoemedi Best thing I have read today innabitots Female chief in Malawi breaks up 850 child marriages and sends girls back to school NEWS 10:34 PM - 17 Dec 2018 13,017 Retweets 23,993 Likes aly Follow @AFRODREAMBOY Respect her and say her name: Theresa Kachindamoto. Portia Moemedi @PortiaMoemedi Female chief in Melawi breaks Best thing I have read today up 850 child marnieges and sends gils beck to school Show this thread 8:53 AM - 19 Dec 2018 33,209 Retweets 77,679 Likes hot-chubbies-with-cheese: cocoartistwrites: stained-glass-rose: taramaclaywasaterf: thatpettyblackgirl: This is powerful. BlackGirlsMagic This is a real queen I know I say this every time, but I’m saying it again: THEY DONT PUT NAMES IN HEADLINES UNLESS ITS AN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE NAME. They’re not being disrespectful. That’s just how headlines work. They’re not gonna write “John Smith Saves Toddler From a Well” they’re gonna write “Pennsylvania Man Saves Toddler From Well” and then put his name in the article. Most people aren’t gonna click a link/continue reading an article that says John Smith, because who the fuck is that, and why do I care about him? Now, if it was, like, Kim Kardashian saving a kid from a well, you bet your ass they’re gonna put her name in the headline. That’s clickbait GOLD. Her name is instantly recognizable. We know who she is, and we wanna read on. Again, I’m saying this because, if we focus on the headline not saying Theresa’s name…it completely detracts the focus off the fact that this woman is a damn hero. We’re more upset and angry that she’s been “disrespected” (even though she hasn’t) by the, like, first rule of writing headlines, instead of saying “hey, she is saving these young girl’s lives, how can we help her?” Basically, share the article. Spread her message, share her story, and make Theresa’s name so goddamn well known that the next article that’s written about her WILL have her name in the headline. Also @ anyone who says “why don’t they say their name!!!!” Consider this: If you actually click on the damn thing and READ the article, I can guarantee you will learn the person’s name. It WILL be within the body of the article itself. So why are y’all acting like it’s a big mystery/ they’re deliberately erasing them or something? Aren’t you reading the article? If it really was so important to you, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to read and learn her name, instead of you know, sharing it without reading it for woke points. 👀👀👀👀👀 Hello I’m a journalist and this is exactly right. Names are news but only if people know them already. I’m so tired of seeing this all the time. It’s a completely nonsense thing to get mad about. Put your energy into something more important - like calling the media out for not covering enough of this. But not for not putting an unknown woman in a headline. QUEEN
Ass, Click, and Energy: Portia Moemedi
 Follow
 @PortiaMoemedi
 Best thing I have read today
 innabitots
 Female chief in Malawi breaks
 up 850 child marriages and
 sends girls back to school
 NEWS
 10:34 PM - 17 Dec 2018
 13,017 Retweets 23,993 Likes

 aly
 Follow
 @AFRODREAMBOY
 Respect her and say her name:
 Theresa Kachindamoto.
 Portia Moemedi @PortiaMoemedi
 Female chief in Melawi breaks
 Best thing I have read today
 up 850 child marnieges and
 sends gils beck to school
 Show this thread
 8:53 AM - 19 Dec 2018
 33,209 Retweets 77,679 Likes
hot-chubbies-with-cheese:
cocoartistwrites:

stained-glass-rose:

taramaclaywasaterf:

thatpettyblackgirl:



This is powerful.


BlackGirlsMagic This is a real queen



I know I say this every time, but I’m saying it again: THEY DONT PUT NAMES IN HEADLINES UNLESS ITS AN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE NAME. They’re not being disrespectful. That’s just how headlines work. They’re not gonna write “John Smith Saves Toddler From a Well” they’re gonna write “Pennsylvania Man Saves Toddler From Well” and then put his name in the article. Most people aren’t gonna click a link/continue reading an article that says John Smith, because who the fuck is that, and why do I care about him? Now, if it was, like, Kim Kardashian saving a kid from a well, you bet your ass they’re gonna put her name in the headline. That’s clickbait GOLD. Her name is instantly recognizable. We know who she is, and we wanna read on.


Again, I’m saying this because, if we focus on the headline not saying Theresa’s name…it completely detracts the focus off the fact that this woman is a damn hero. We’re more upset and angry that she’s been “disrespected” (even though she hasn’t) by the, like, first rule of writing headlines, instead of saying “hey, she is saving these young girl’s lives, how can we help her?” Basically, share the article. Spread her message, share her story, and make Theresa’s name so goddamn well known that the next article that’s written about her WILL have her name in the headline.


Also @ anyone who says “why don’t they say their name!!!!” Consider this:
If you actually click on the damn thing and READ the article, I can guarantee you will learn the person’s name. It WILL be within the body of the article itself. So why are y’all acting like it’s a big mystery/ they’re deliberately erasing them or something? 
Aren’t you reading the article? If it really was so important to you, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to read and learn her name, instead of you know, sharing it without reading it for woke points. 👀👀👀👀👀


Hello I’m a journalist and this is exactly right. Names are news but only if people know them already. I’m so tired of seeing this all the time. It’s a completely nonsense thing to get mad about. Put your energy into something more important - like calling the media out for not covering enough of this. But not for not putting an unknown woman in a headline. 


QUEEN

hot-chubbies-with-cheese: cocoartistwrites: stained-glass-rose: taramaclaywasaterf: thatpettyblackgirl: This is powerful. BlackGirls...

Blessed, Huh, and Meme: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil as a gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?' @oscarewilde the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement @oscarewilde utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person @oscarewilde i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? @oscarewilde Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil. That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears andican barely hear them. Imaintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow @oscarewilde Ireach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing @oscarewilde still maintaining that eye contact i smile, only the tiniest fraction, the unspoken words forming between us. 'What are you gonna do now, huh? You feeling lucky, kiddo? Buddy? Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will you take The Pencil? @oscarewilde they Always take the pencil ifynny.co Tap to see the meme
Blessed, Huh, and Meme: @oscarewilde
 i received this comically large pencil as
 a gift several years ago and my first
 thought, understandably,
 was 'what
 the christ am i meant to do with this?'
 @oscarewilde
 the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite
 Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day
 With This. And so a while ago i took it
 in with me to a lecture, hoping against
 hope that whichever poor Fool was
 unfortunate enough to sit next to me
 might have forgotten or misplaced
 their writing implement
 @oscarewilde
 utilising The Pencil is also dependent
 on the person not using a laptop. So
 the chances of success are
 extraordinarily slim, and I've only
 managed to find suitable candidates
 three times in all of the dozens of
 occasions i've had The Pencil on my
 person
 @oscarewilde
 i size up my target, watching them
 feign patting their pockets in vain for
 the ballpoint they so obviously left at
 home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed
 question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could
 Borrow?
 @oscarewilde
 Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a
 pencil. That's fine!' i hear them say,
 distantly now, as the blood is rushing
 to my ears andican barely hear them.
 Imaintain a straight face. This is key to
 the delivery and the final blow
 @oscarewilde
 Ireach into my bag for The Pencil. The
 look of utter dumbfounded misery as i
 hand it to the victim is unparalleled in
 its sweetness. In an instant their eyes
 flicker through the 5 stages of grief,
 landing on acceptance, as they realise
 it's This or Nothing
 @oscarewilde
 still maintaining that eye contact i
 smile, only the tiniest fraction, the
 unspoken words forming between us.
 'What are you gonna do now, huh?
 You feeling lucky, kiddo? Buddy?
 Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in
 this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will
 you take The Pencil?
 @oscarewilde
 they Always take the pencil
 ifynny.co
Tap to see the meme

Tap to see the meme

Dating, Desperate, and Drinking: 20:14 O 11% Claire Today 18:23 Am I supposed to send my CV to you separate or do you just want a covering letter? Covering letter is enough Could I get a job description to base it off please? Today 19:35 Lonely, mildly depressed single female seeking remotely stable man friend to people watch in reality and via Netflix Responsibilities include: Chaperoning to live music events, cinemas and shitty Dundee bars, perhaps occasionally a nightclub. Corresponding via a range of media within adequate times. Ability to tolerate prolonged bouts of complaining about life or work as well a questionable music taste. Providing mental and physical support in a range of activities including the gym. Spooning and perhaps sexual duties. Temporary post. Potential to become permanent. I'm a business teacher, this is my shit right here Today 20:06 Dear Claire, I'm writing this letter in regards to the temporary/permanent position of Partner. Please find my desperate attempt at wooing below. I am a reasonably stable Male that has previous experience in dating/ being a partner, with varying levels of success. Can deal with copious amounts of complaining over different forms of communication, very rarely leaves on read. Prefer outdoor activities to indoor exercise but can do. Will deal with drinking sessions professionally until shots are ordered though will still find way home. Sexual performance may vary. Thank you for taking the time to review my application, I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully progressing to the next stage of a date. I can't believe you actually wrote me a cover letter it's one of the better ones I've had so I guess we could do an "interview". Type a message... GIF Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”
Dating, Desperate, and Drinking: 20:14 O
 11%
 Claire
 Today 18:23
 Am I supposed to send my CV to
 you separate or do you just want a
 covering letter?
 Covering letter is enough
 Could I get a job description to base
 it off please?
 Today 19:35
 Lonely, mildly depressed single
 female seeking remotely stable
 man friend to people watch in
 reality and via Netflix
 Responsibilities include:
 Chaperoning to live music events,
 cinemas and shitty Dundee bars,
 perhaps occasionally a nightclub.
 Corresponding via a range of
 media within adequate times.
 Ability to tolerate prolonged bouts
 of complaining about life or work
 as well a questionable music taste.
 Providing mental and physical
 support in a range of activities
 including the gym.
 Spooning and perhaps sexual
 duties.
 Temporary post. Potential to
 become permanent.
 I'm a business teacher, this is my
 shit right here
 Today 20:06
 Dear Claire,
 I'm writing this letter in regards to
 the temporary/permanent position
 of Partner. Please find my desperate
 attempt at wooing below.
 I am a reasonably stable Male that
 has previous experience in dating/
 being a partner, with varying levels
 of success. Can deal with copious
 amounts of complaining over
 different forms of communication,
 very rarely leaves on read. Prefer
 outdoor activities to indoor exercise
 but can do. Will deal with drinking
 sessions professionally until shots
 are ordered though will still find way
 home. Sexual performance may
 vary.
 Thank you for taking the time to
 review my application, I look forward
 to hearing from you and hopefully
 progressing to the next stage of a
 date.
 I can't believe you actually wrote
 me a cover letter
 it's one of
 the better ones I've had so I guess
 we could do an "interview".
 Type a message...
 GIF
Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”

Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”

Facebook, Omg, and Saw: Red @redgermz Saw this on Facebook and sent it to my brother, who is a pharmacist. Unsa man na b 10:29 AM Paracetamol OMG pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics This shit’s infuriating Oh, this is a type of shorthand! There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand. As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. Let’s break one of the words down: Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example. Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old! Isn’t language amazing~? Ya tenéis traductor.
Facebook, Omg, and Saw: Red
 @redgermz
 Saw this on Facebook and sent it to
 my brother, who is a pharmacist.
 Unsa man na b
 10:29 AM
 Paracetamol
 OMG
pseudonymsobriquet:

klubbhead:

halcyonjester:


xmagnet-o:

cfluffiness:


Someone in facebook also posted this too


Omg

Mediglyphics


This shit’s infuriating

Oh, this is a type of shorthand! 
There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand.


As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. 
Let’s break one of the words down:
Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? 
Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example.
Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. 
So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. 
Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old!
Isn’t language amazing~? 

Ya tenéis traductor.

pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics ...

News, Tumblr, and Waffle House: ST 15 15 starafterdeath: schi-walker-locked: a-small-bowl-of-noodles: kakaphoe: of-another-broken-heart: kakaphoe: asymbina: iamsapphirecrimsonclaw: bluesey-182: captaindeadpoet: hiringdreamers: ezurad: commandtower-solring-go: kayas-wife: chandra-nalaar: viralthings: The more you look at this picture, the more anxious it becomes. this is just a normal waffle house there is a bloody handprint on the door There is somethung under the counter with the cups Blind man reading news paperSkull in the coffee Milk is $15 Lady’s hand is a tentacle the bleeding pie, the eyeball and fingers on the blind man’s plate… I was trying to find something nobody else had seen yet, when I realized… Look right above the tentacle arm. The second man at the buffet, what the hell is he doing? He’s either throwing up or eating an octopus. I think his face is just tentacles. The blind man has gills. Scariest detail: this image was ripped from the creator’s site and vandalized (edited to remove the watermark), then reuploaded for viral fame without so much as a mention of the artist’s name. SOURCE: http://jeffleejohnson.deviantart.com/art/Blue-Plate-Special-661961724 That said, the earlier observation about milk being $15 is off - artist confirms this is based on a 1920’s diner, so the price would be in cents. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4375070065)The table under the journal is lacquered with ants. The person holding the skull-creamed coffee paints the underside of their nails. Either that or their natural nails grow red.The journal’s writing, intentionally made hard to read and partially obscured, is somewhat of a cheat to all the things amiss in the scene. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4372574544) I can make out: “… and eyeball … have to think he is less strange than the horrifying creature that seems to have inhabited the cabinet behind him … all tentacles and teeth … (obscured by cup) … Where in the world can be found such nightmares?!” Reblogging for the correct source (I didn’t even notice the OP wasn’t the artist oops). There’s a second one, and there’s even more in this AAAHH, cool, but AAAAAHHHH Just a regular morning in Innsmouth.
News, Tumblr, and Waffle House: ST
 15
 15
starafterdeath:

schi-walker-locked:

a-small-bowl-of-noodles:

kakaphoe:

of-another-broken-heart:

kakaphoe:

asymbina:

iamsapphirecrimsonclaw:

bluesey-182:

captaindeadpoet:

hiringdreamers:


ezurad:


commandtower-solring-go:


kayas-wife:


chandra-nalaar:

viralthings:
The more you look at this picture, the more anxious it becomes.
this is just a normal waffle house

there is a bloody handprint on the door


There is somethung under the counter with the cups


Blind man reading news paperSkull in the coffee


Milk is $15


Lady’s hand is a tentacle


the bleeding pie, the eyeball and fingers on the blind man’s plate…

I was trying to find something nobody else had seen yet, when I realized…
Look right above the tentacle arm. The second man at the buffet, what the hell is he doing? He’s either throwing up or eating an octopus.

I think his face is just tentacles.

The blind man has gills.

Scariest detail: this image was ripped from the creator’s site and vandalized (edited to remove the watermark), then reuploaded for viral fame without so much as a mention of the artist’s name. SOURCE: http://jeffleejohnson.deviantart.com/art/Blue-Plate-Special-661961724 That said, the earlier observation about milk being $15 is off - artist confirms this is based on a 1920’s diner, so the price would be in cents. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4375070065)The table under the journal is lacquered with ants. The person holding the skull-creamed coffee paints the underside of their nails. Either that or their natural nails grow red.The journal’s writing, intentionally made hard to read and partially obscured, is somewhat of a cheat to all the things amiss in the scene. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4372574544) I can make out: “… and eyeball … have to think he is less strange than the horrifying creature that seems to have inhabited the cabinet behind him … all tentacles and teeth … (obscured by cup) … Where in the world can be found such nightmares?!”

Reblogging for the correct source (I didn’t even notice the OP wasn’t the artist oops).


There’s a second one, and there’s even more in this 


AAAHH, cool, but AAAAAHHHH



Just a regular morning in Innsmouth.

starafterdeath: schi-walker-locked: a-small-bowl-of-noodles: kakaphoe: of-another-broken-heart: kakaphoe: asymbina: iamsapphirecrimso...

Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Af, Destiny, and Family: KNOW YOLR RUNES U IS FOR LIS FOR URUZ LAGUZ HEALTH, STRENGTH, WATER BIRTH VIGOR & HEALING BIRTH 0F A VENTURE OR PHYSICAL BIRTH VANN STRYKE, HELSE FODSEL RUNE 2 of 12 RUNE 1 of 12 TIS FOR K IS FOR KENNZ FIRE, PH YSICAL ICE, TIME OF RESPITE PASSION OR STAGN ATION LIDENSKAP BRANN ICE PUSTEROM RUNE 3 12 RUNE 4 of 12 S IS FOR O IS FOR OTHNLN VICTORY, SUCCESS ANCESTRAL LAND, HOME, FAMILY UNITY OF AN ENDEAVOR BARNDOSHJEM, SEIER TRIUMPF FAMILIENS ENHET RUNE 6 of 12 RUNE 5 of 12 E IS FOR D IS FOR Y EVHNZ DNGNZ PROTECTION ABSOLUTE BALANCE FROM EVIL BETWEEN OPPOSITE S, PARARDOX BESKYTTELSE BALANSERE RUNE 8 of 12 RUNE 7 of 12 T IS FOR P IS FOR TWNZ PETHRO JUSTICE FATE DESTINY RETTFERDIGHET SK JEBNE, FORSYN GUDDOMMELIG RUNE 10 of 12 RUNE 9 of 12 G IS FOR N IS FOR NNUD1Z KEBO GIFTS NEED DESIRE BORN WITH OR GIVEN TRENGER ONSKE GAVE, MEDFØDTE RUNE 12 af 12 RUNE 11 of 12 X herbwicc: plantanarchy: herbwicc: viking-illustrator: darkwolfwitch: witt-craft: Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of flashcards that would appeal to kids and adults for my Type 1 class. They each have the rune symbol, the name of the rune, the meaning in English, the meaning (roughly translated by google, thanks google) in Norwegian, and a little icon I made. I made the big rune characters, but the display font is Comic Runes by takuminokami on Font Space (thanks internet). The cards are 3 inches by 4.5 inches.  Also please don’t yell at me if the meanings of these are wrong, my research was not particularly scholarly. (Once again, thanks internet :p)  Sweet, what a nifty little guide This is such a cool idea! Awesome! Quick question: are runes part of a closed culture? No, these runes here are the Elder Futhark, used as a writing system in the area that would be Scandinavia/Northern Germanic region. The names are Proto-Germanic reconstructions, so yeah, the culture that used these are very very dead. Similar runes were used by the Anglo-Saxons and the Vikings (the Anglo-Saxons added a bunch of runes and the Vikings used less runes and some different ones and this was centuries later). The reason we know the “meanings” and names of the runes at all is because of a handful of rune poems that were initially used as mnemonic devices to remember them. The actual system of divination and magic via Elder Futhark runes is very modern and goes back to ~the 60s I believe? There’s some archeological evidence that runes may have been used for more than just a writing system, and the Havamal (old important morality poem for heathens) mentions that Odin hung on the world tree and sacrificed himself to himself and returned with knowledge of the runes. It also discusses that runes can be used for magic (though it doesn’t get into which runes or how to do the magic).So, to me personally, it does seem a bit weird to use the runes as just another divination tool without using them in context of the spiritual/religious paradigm they are connected to, but there are a lot of people that do and seem to have success with it. And I’d be cautious with getting into using them unless you’re willing to suddenly have Northern Germanic gods busting down your door whether you like it or not. Though feeling a pull toward the runes in general may mean they already have you. Good to know, thank you :)
Af, Destiny, and Family: KNOW
 YOLR
 RUNES

 U IS FOR
 LIS FOR
 URUZ
 LAGUZ
 HEALTH, STRENGTH,
 WATER
 BIRTH
 VIGOR & HEALING
 BIRTH 0F A VENTURE
 OR PHYSICAL BIRTH
 VANN
 STRYKE, HELSE
 FODSEL
 RUNE 2 of 12
 RUNE 1 of 12
 TIS FOR
 K IS FOR
 KENNZ
 FIRE, PH YSICAL
 ICE, TIME
 OF RESPITE
 PASSION
 OR STAGN ATION
 LIDENSKAP
 BRANN
 ICE
 PUSTEROM
 RUNE 3 12
 RUNE 4 of 12

 S IS FOR
 O IS FOR
 OTHNLN
 VICTORY, SUCCESS
 ANCESTRAL LAND,
 HOME, FAMILY UNITY
 OF AN ENDEAVOR
 BARNDOSHJEM,
 SEIER
 TRIUMPF
 FAMILIENS ENHET
 RUNE 6 of 12
 RUNE 5 of 12
 E IS FOR
 D IS FOR
 Y
 EVHNZ
 DNGNZ
 PROTECTION
 ABSOLUTE BALANCE
 FROM EVIL
 BETWEEN OPPOSITE S,
 PARARDOX
 BESKYTTELSE
 BALANSERE
 RUNE 8 of 12
 RUNE 7 of 12

 T IS FOR
 P IS FOR
 TWNZ
 PETHRO
 JUSTICE
 FATE
 DESTINY
 RETTFERDIGHET
 SK JEBNE,
 FORSYN
 GUDDOMMELIG
 RUNE 10 of 12
 RUNE 9 of 12
 G IS FOR
 N IS FOR
 NNUD1Z
 KEBO
 GIFTS
 NEED
 DESIRE
 BORN WITH
 OR GIVEN
 TRENGER
 ONSKE
 GAVE, MEDFØDTE
 RUNE 12 af 12
 RUNE 11 of 12
 X
herbwicc:

plantanarchy:

herbwicc:
viking-illustrator:

darkwolfwitch:

witt-craft:

Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of flashcards that would appeal to kids and adults for my Type 1 class. They each have the rune symbol, the name of the rune, the meaning in English, the meaning (roughly translated by google, thanks google) in Norwegian, and a little icon I made. I made the big rune characters, but the display font is Comic Runes by takuminokami on Font Space (thanks internet). The cards are 3 inches by 4.5 inches. 
Also please don’t yell at me if the meanings of these are wrong, my research was not particularly scholarly. (Once again, thanks internet :p) 


Sweet, what a nifty little guide


This is such a cool idea!


Awesome! Quick question: are runes part of a closed culture? 

No, these runes here are the Elder Futhark, used as a writing system in the area that would be Scandinavia/Northern Germanic region. The names are Proto-Germanic reconstructions, so yeah, the culture that used these are very very dead. Similar runes were used by the Anglo-Saxons and the Vikings (the Anglo-Saxons added a bunch of runes and the Vikings used less runes and some different ones and this was centuries later). The reason we know the “meanings” and names of the runes at all is because of a handful of rune poems that were initially used as mnemonic devices to remember them. The actual system of divination and magic via Elder Futhark runes is very modern and goes back to ~the 60s I believe? There’s some archeological evidence that runes may have been used for more than just a writing system, and the Havamal (old important morality poem for heathens) mentions that Odin hung on the world tree and sacrificed himself to himself and returned with knowledge of the runes. It also discusses that runes can be used for magic (though it doesn’t get into which runes or how to do the magic).So, to me personally, it does seem a bit weird to use the runes as just another divination tool without using them in context of the spiritual/religious paradigm they are connected to, but there are a lot of people that do and seem to have success with it. And I’d be cautious with getting into using them unless you’re willing to suddenly have Northern Germanic gods busting down your door whether you like it or not. Though feeling a pull toward the runes in general may mean they already have you.

Good to know, thank you :)

herbwicc: plantanarchy: herbwicc: viking-illustrator: darkwolfwitch: witt-craft: Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of flash...

Advice, Android, and Apple: creative writing MASTERPOST studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future! Generators Character Appearance Generator Archetypes Generator Character Generator Character Traits Generator Family Generator Job/Occupation Generator, (II) Love Interest Generator Motive Generator Name Generator Personality Generator, (II) Quick Character Generator Super Powers Generator Names Brand Name Generator Medicine Title Generator Name Generator Quick Name Generator Vehicle Generator Town Name Generator Plot First Encounter Generator First Line Generator, (II) Plot Generator, (II), (III) Plot Device Generator Plot Twist Generator Quick Plot Generator Setting/World-Building City Generator Fantasy Race Generator Laws Generator Pet Generator Setting Generator Species Generator Terrain Generator Prompts Subject Generator ”Take Three Nouns” Generator Word Prompt Generator Misc Color Generator Decision Generator Dialogue Generator Journey Generator Title Generator, (II), (III) Some Tips Just a few I found from the writing tips tag! Writing action / @berrybird How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing 8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor psa for writers / @dasakuryo ”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven Vocabulary Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee Words to describe someone’s voice Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth Some Advice Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers ”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite 8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk (How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk 14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts Playlists Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid “Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead Chill / @endlessreveries Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt Fatale / @dolcegf All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites Pythia / @mazikeene Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil Websites and Apps For Writing ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow. The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit! Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone! Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account. Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently. Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you! For Productivity Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store) ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive. Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store) SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things! Prompt Blogs @writeworld @dialouge-prompts @oopsprompts @prompts-for-the-otp @creativepromptsforwriting @the-modern-typewriter @theprofessionalpromptmaker @writers-are-writers @otp-imagines-cult @witterprompts @havetobememes @auideas @putthepromptsonpaper @promptsonpaper @fyotpprompts @otpisms @soprompt @otpprompts @ablockforwritersblock @awritersnook Writing Tips Blogs @writeworld @anomalously-written @awritersnook @clevergirlhelps @referenceforwriters @whataboutwriting @thewritershelpers @nimblesnotebook @slitheringink
Advice, Android, and Apple: creative writing
 MASTERPOST
studysection:

Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future!
Generators
Character
Appearance Generator
Archetypes Generator

Character Generator

Character Traits Generator
Family Generator

Job/Occupation Generator, (II)

Love Interest Generator
Motive Generator
Name Generator

Personality Generator, (II)

Quick Character Generator
Super Powers Generator
Names
Brand Name Generator
Medicine Title Generator

Name Generator
Quick Name Generator
Vehicle Generator
Town Name Generator
Plot
First Encounter Generator

First Line Generator, (II)


Plot Generator, (II), (III)

Plot Device Generator
Plot Twist Generator
Quick Plot Generator
Setting/World-Building
City Generator
Fantasy Race Generator
Laws Generator
Pet Generator

Setting Generator
Species Generator
Terrain Generator
Prompts

Subject Generator
”Take Three Nouns” Generator
Word Prompt Generator
Misc
Color Generator
Decision Generator

Dialogue Generator
Journey Generator

Title Generator, (II), (III)
Some Tips
Just a few I found from the writing tips tag!

Writing action / @berrybird

How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs


How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing


8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor


psa for writers / @dasakuryo

”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting


How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare


Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips


Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven

Vocabulary

Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent


Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey


Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac


Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee

Words to describe someone’s voice

Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth


Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth

Some Advice
Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers

”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite

8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk


(How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk


How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk


14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts
Playlists

Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid

“Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates

Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead

Chill / @endlessreveries


Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts


Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen


Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch


Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt


Fatale / @dolcegf


All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters

Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon


I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper

Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt


Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites


Pythia / @mazikeene


Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil
Websites and Apps
For Writing

ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow.

The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit!

Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone!

Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account.

Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently.

Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you!
For Productivity
Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store)

ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive.
Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store)


SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things!
Prompt Blogs

@writeworld

@dialouge-prompts
@oopsprompts
@prompts-for-the-otp
@creativepromptsforwriting
@the-modern-typewriter
@theprofessionalpromptmaker
@writers-are-writers
@otp-imagines-cult
@witterprompts
@havetobememes
@auideas
@putthepromptsonpaper
@promptsonpaper
@fyotpprompts
@otpisms
@soprompt

@otpprompts

@ablockforwritersblock
@awritersnook
Writing Tips Blogs

@writeworld

@anomalously-written
@awritersnook
@clevergirlhelps
@referenceforwriters
@whataboutwriting
@thewritershelpers
@nimblesnotebook
@slitheringink

studysection: Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create t...

Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s A dating service where matching is based on people's search history exists. You're a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer. endreams-s Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it? Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart attack Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: "sucks in a breath ok fangoddess817 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes Writer, already bringing a ring out: "shaking thanks infinityonthot A++ addition tetsuskitten Writer: "shows the serial killer the murder scene they're writing actually work? babe, i'm not sure if this would Serial killer: "kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great tigerliliesandcherryblossoms ILOVE THIS vmohlere Oh no, murder comedy is my jam laziestofthedreamers Ilove this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gulible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it's completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work. Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there's something to the theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author's home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries. So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he'll FINALLY have proof. annieutimagines Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer." Serial killer breaths in. "Look-" ladyhavilliard ..perfect theskystealerthebookthief I need 4 seasons and a movie on this I would watch the hell out of this
Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s
 A dating service where matching is based on
 people's search history exists. You're a serial killer.
 You go on a date with a writer.
 endreams-s
 Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill
 someone, how would you do it?
 Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart
 attack
 Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: "sucks in
 a breath ok
 fangoddess817
 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to
 potentially stab someone in the guts
 Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
 Writer, already bringing a ring out: "shaking thanks
 infinityonthot
 A++ addition
 tetsuskitten
 Writer: "shows the serial killer the murder scene
 they're writing
 actually work?
 babe, i'm not sure if this would
 Serial killer: "kisses writer on the forehead and
 leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood
 coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great
 tigerliliesandcherryblossoms
 ILOVE THIS
 vmohlere
 Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
 laziestofthedreamers
 Ilove this, I love all of this, but quick question, does
 the author know? Like are they aware that their
 significant other is a serial killer or do they just think
 that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even
 funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how
 Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly
 gulible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime
 novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop
 or something so it's completely normal for them to
 come home smelling like blood, no murders going on
 here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home
 from a long day at work.
 Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed
 to get their first book published, with loving support
 from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all
 the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that
 a detective with the local police department has
 noticed some disturbing similarities to several active
 cases, including details that were never released to
 the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior
 and convinces him that there's something to the
 theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes
 out the author's home and is super convinced that
 the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do
 anything??? Like they literally are at the house all
 day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
 So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the
 author for creative murder schemes, the author
 being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and
 finally the detective who is just so sure that the
 author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long
 enough he'll FINALLY have proof.
 annieutimagines
 Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go
 out so it gets sub what personal.
 "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a
 serial killer."
 Serial killer breaths in. "Look-"
 ladyhavilliard
 ..perfect
 theskystealerthebookthief
 I need 4 seasons and a movie on this
I would watch the hell out of this

I would watch the hell out of this

Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details. Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snickt jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message ABORT MISSION This is fucking scary I dont get it.. @explainingthejoke The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads:  nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy! This isn’t a joke. It is just cute. Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.
Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are
 eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you
 feverish, shaking, and alone.
 However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that
 never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried
 Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details.
 Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the
 safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken.
 With all due respect,
 Lemony Snickt
jesstheespeon:

explainingthejoke:

popsicle-prince:

dark-clifford:

pooguns:

frenchtugboat:

bowieonthebelafonte:

When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message

ABORT MISSION

This is fucking scary

I dont get it..


@explainingthejoke

The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. 
The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads: 

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. 
However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. 
Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. 
Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. 
With all due respect, 
Lemony Snicket 

Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY 
Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy!
This isn’t a joke. It is just cute.


Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.

jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent ...