Topping
Topping

Topping

Needs
Needs

Needs

I Want
I Want

I Want

Nets
Nets

Nets

Whatevs
Whatevs

Whatevs

They Told Me
They Told Me

They Told Me

Whateves
Whateves

Whateves

told me
 told me

told me

a cat
 a cat

a cat

want
 want

want

🔥 | Latest

Whatevers: thepuppymastermind Me consuming media dealing with werewolves: "okay but if you're gonna lock yourself in that basement during your transformation have you thought of including some enrichment?? How about a treat ball or a frozen Kong?? What are your thoughts on sniffing out treats" artisanscribbles Good god the rampant destruction makes so much more sense now! The wolf has no mental stimulation so its starts destroying things because its BORED. weasow yeah, hey, you ever try an agility course or a treadmill? remember, a tired werewolf is a well behaved werewolf Source: thepuppymasterming 36 139 notesW nonasuch theunvanquishedzims Werewolves are stereotyped as ravenous monsters because the transformations burn so many calories that they're essentially starving afterwords. The more "controlled" werewolves are just the ones who figured this out and loaded up on calories beforehand, whereas the "wild" ones assume it's part of their wolfish nature to hunt and eat whatever's nearby. The transformation back burns calories too, but by that point they're exhausted from running around in the woods all night, not to mention the physical strain of two transformations. And filthy people showing up at Denny's in the early morning are assumed to be hungover, so the ravenous beast idea is applied only to the wolf half. sorrygodlol are you suggesting people who eat at denny's are essentially werewolves aridotdash not just essentially Source: theunvanquishedzims 64 567 notes Werewolves
Whatevers: thepuppymastermind
 Me consuming media dealing with
 werewolves: "okay but if you're gonna
 lock yourself in that basement during your
 transformation have you thought of including
 some enrichment?? How about a treat ball or
 a frozen Kong?? What are your thoughts on
 sniffing out treats"
 artisanscribbles
 Good god the rampant destruction makes
 so much more sense now! The wolf has no
 mental stimulation so its starts destroying
 things because its BORED.
 weasow
 yeah, hey, you ever try an agility course or a
 treadmill? remember, a tired werewolf is a
 well behaved werewolf
 Source: thepuppymasterming
 36 139 notesW
 nonasuch
 theunvanquishedzims
 Werewolves are stereotyped as ravenous
 monsters because the transformations burn
 so many calories that they're essentially
 starving afterwords. The more "controlled"
 werewolves are just the ones who figured this
 out and loaded up on calories beforehand,
 whereas the "wild" ones assume it's part of
 their wolfish nature to hunt and eat whatever's
 nearby.
 The transformation back burns calories
 too, but by that point they're exhausted
 from running around in the woods all night,
 not to mention the physical strain of two
 transformations. And filthy people showing up
 at Denny's in the early morning are assumed
 to be hungover, so the ravenous beast idea is
 applied only to the wolf half.
 sorrygodlol
 are you suggesting people who eat at denny's
 are essentially werewolves
 aridotdash
 not just essentially
 Source: theunvanquishedzims
 64 567 notes
Werewolves

Werewolves

Whatevers: 2 When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the roonm Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a shower curtain, The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence? While they're discussing this, the room phone rings The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl The actual clog was never found 10980 Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that
Whatevers: 2
 When my grandfather was young he owned a
 roadside motel, and my mother used to do work
 around the motel for the family. The building was old
 and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber
 were a fairly regular occurrence over there
 At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest
 checked out, so they called the plumber to come
 and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag
 of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn
 After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the
 snake
 I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing
 snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This
 isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical
 powered snake with a big motor on the back and a
 little grabby claw on the end
 So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil
 down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring
 whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it
 down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't
 happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the
 control to open the mechanical claw at the end of
 the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in
 reverse and starts to pull it back up

 By now a couple of members of the staff have
 gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the
 hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant
 machine couldn't remove. The motor is really
 straining you know that sound an electric motor
 makes when it's working really hard? The whole
 machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back
 up through the pipes and into the roonm
 Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly
 dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's
 a shower curtain,
 The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure
 out how this could have happened. It would be
 weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower
 curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the
 shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be
 even weirder if the guest had brought their own
 shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down
 the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains.
 Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with
 it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that
 the shower curtain had already been replaced, and
 then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide
 the evidence?

 While they're discussing this, the room phone rings
 The person on the other end is screaming,
 hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to
 figure out that it's the housekeeper who was
 cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the
 manage to get the story out of her:
 The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than
 spiraling down into the plumbing where it was
 intended to go, it had wound its way into the central
 line, and then back up the pipes in the room next
 door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and
 then started flailing wildly around the next-door
 bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of
 steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering
 furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless
 housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw
 opened on the end of it and snagged the shower
 curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it
 around the room until it was coiled tightly around the
 cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl
 The actual clog was never found
 10980
Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Whatevers: This Is An Actual Job Application Submitted To A Mcdonalds In Florida And They Hired Him For His Honesty NAME: Jeremy Skitt X: Not yet but I'm waiting for the right person DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle- management hostility SALARY: Less than I'm worth MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is... no. DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, l'd like to be doing that now DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising <p>Man Submits The Best Job Application Ever. This Is Genius.</p>
Whatevers: This Is An Actual Job Application
 Submitted To A Mcdonalds In Florida
 And They Hired Him For His Honesty
 NAME: Jeremy Skitt
 X: Not yet but I'm waiting for the right
 person
 DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But
 seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a
 position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here
 in the first place
 DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock
 options and a Michael Ovitz style severance
 package. If that's not possible, make an offer
 and we can haggle.
 EDUCATION: Yes
 LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-
 management hostility
 SALARY: Less than I'm worth
 MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My
 incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it
 notes
 REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked
 HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
 PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m
 Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
 DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes,
 but they're better suited to a more intimate
 environment.
 MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT
 EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A
 FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because
 if it is... no.
 DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS
 THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
 LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
 DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more
 appropriate question here would be "do you
 have a car that runs?"
 HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL
 AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already
 be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse
 Sweepstakes
 DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire
 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN
 FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a
 fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm
 the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
 l'd like to be doing that now
 DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS
 TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
 YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to
 prove otherwise
 SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising
<p>Man Submits The Best Job Application Ever. This Is Genius.</p>

<p>Man Submits The Best Job Application Ever. This Is Genius.</p>