Unless


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Are
        

            
            Are
        

    

    

         
Are

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Your
        

            
            Your
        

    

    

         
Your

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        The
        

            
            The
        

    

    

         
The

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        You Are
        

            
            You Are
        

    

    

         
You Are

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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Not

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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            Other
        

    

    

         
Other

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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        point
        

            
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        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Amazon, Chrome, and Click: $
 Ecosia, a search engine that use
 80% of their profits to plant trees, is
 planting 1 Million trees in Brazil after
 the Amazon Rainforest fire tragedy
 The Happy Broadcast
 G
 I don't want to play with you anymore
tspicer23:


ofgeography:

avital-mi-beit:

tealishfish:

programmerhumour:

Programmers are the greatest browsing community (SO mostly)…We can singlehandedly save the planet.

I use Ecosia and let me tell you, Google has nothing on this search engine. 
It’s easy to free up your cache and delete cookies. The option is immediately viewable in settings instead of hidden away in the alcoves of who knows where.
Unless you favorite a page, it automatically clears it after 7 days, which is awesome if you hate clearing tabs like I do. 
They plant trees everywhere. 
Ecosia updates you on their progress- not with annoying update notifications, but with a button you can click as you type up your search if you’re curious.
The tree count is shown just beneath the search bar.
It is an app too and only takes up 18.2 MB. That’s the equivalent of nine live pictures on your phone. 
You can view your own tree count. Mine’s 2,475 trees. I have had the app for six months. Do you know how much acreage that is? It’s a heckin’ ton of acres. 
It has a safe search mode that actually works.

It’s true!

also worth noting that ecosia’s servers run on 100% renewable energy and that their tree-planting methods are very cool: https://ecosia.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360013316554-What-tree-planting-methods-does-Ecosia-use-

You can also add tab for a cause. Which is an extension for your web browser that gives you hearts to donate every time you open a new tab. And you can use ecosia as a search engine on it as well!
Chrome
Firefox

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Amazon, Chrome, and Click: $
 Ecosia, a search engine that use
 80% of their profits to plant trees, is
 planting 1 Million trees in Brazil after
 the Amazon Rainforest fire tragedy
 The Happy Broadcast
 G
 I don't want to play with you anymore
tspicer23:


ofgeography:

avital-mi-beit:

tealishfish:

programmerhumour:

Programmers are the greatest browsing community (SO mostly)…We can singlehandedly save the planet.

I use Ecosia and let me tell you, Google has nothing on this search engine. 
It’s easy to free up your cache and delete cookies. The option is immediately viewable in settings instead of hidden away in the alcoves of who knows where.
Unless you favorite a page, it automatically clears it after 7 days, which is awesome if you hate clearing tabs like I do. 
They plant trees everywhere. 
Ecosia updates you on their progress- not with annoying update notifications, but with a button you can click as you type up your search if you’re curious.
The tree count is shown just beneath the search bar.
It is an app too and only takes up 18.2 MB. That’s the equivalent of nine live pictures on your phone. 
You can view your own tree count. Mine’s 2,475 trees. I have had the app for six months. Do you know how much acreage that is? It’s a heckin’ ton of acres. 
It has a safe search mode that actually works.

It’s true!

also worth noting that ecosia’s servers run on 100% renewable energy and that their tree-planting methods are very cool: https://ecosia.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360013316554-What-tree-planting-methods-does-Ecosia-use-

You can also add tab for a cause. Which is an extension for your web browser that gives you hearts to donate every time you open a new tab. And you can use ecosia as a search engine on it as well!
Chrome
Firefox

                
            

            
            
tspicer23:


ofgeography:

avital-mi-beit:

tealishfish:

programmerhumour:

Programmers are the greatest browsing community (SO mostly)…We ...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: The Economist
 -Follow
 Economist
 TheEconomist
 Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?
 econ.st/294G6yf
leoismybookcrush:
highklaushargreeves:

my-analogical-romance:


magicallygrimmwiccan:

jackdrawsgames:

luidilovins:

phruxx:

stynalane:

dxisybuchanan:

everythingcanadian:

ariaste:

wildhaunt:

everkings:

kid-communism:

combatbooty:

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 
Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

engagement rings: HACKED


Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably. 

thanks edith


Tiger’s eye: $47 bucks on etsy. Propose to your elderich horror with a ring she deserves. 
Rose quarts rose ring? 43 bucks. Symbol of love. Looks like a ring pop. Win-win. 
Druzy quartz 40 bucks. Cant pick a color? Go with all of them. Neat texture. 
Snowflake obsidian? 20 bucks. Made from the fires of the Earth’s molten core. Pretty dope conversation starter. 
Jade 15-30 bucks. Literally has a history of inner peace and spiritual awakening. Good gentle reminder not to kill your spouse. 

SO PRETTY

@theotheralya


Could give me a rock u found on the floor and thought I’d like and I would genuinely be ecstatic 


The ring I got Cas. Oak and a teeny tiny fern leaf. 

My dad proposed to my mom with a Ring Pop on April Fool’s Day 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: The Economist
 -Follow
 Economist
 TheEconomist
 Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?
 econ.st/294G6yf
leoismybookcrush:
highklaushargreeves:

my-analogical-romance:


magicallygrimmwiccan:

jackdrawsgames:

luidilovins:

phruxx:

stynalane:

dxisybuchanan:

everythingcanadian:

ariaste:

wildhaunt:

everkings:

kid-communism:

combatbooty:

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 
Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

engagement rings: HACKED


Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably. 

thanks edith


Tiger’s eye: $47 bucks on etsy. Propose to your elderich horror with a ring she deserves. 
Rose quarts rose ring? 43 bucks. Symbol of love. Looks like a ring pop. Win-win. 
Druzy quartz 40 bucks. Cant pick a color? Go with all of them. Neat texture. 
Snowflake obsidian? 20 bucks. Made from the fires of the Earth’s molten core. Pretty dope conversation starter. 
Jade 15-30 bucks. Literally has a history of inner peace and spiritual awakening. Good gentle reminder not to kill your spouse. 

SO PRETTY

@theotheralya


Could give me a rock u found on the floor and thought I’d like and I would genuinely be ecstatic 


The ring I got Cas. Oak and a teeny tiny fern leaf. 

My dad proposed to my mom with a Ring Pop on April Fool’s Day 

                
            

            
            
leoismybookcrush:
highklaushargreeves:

my-analogical-romance:


magicallygrimmwiccan:

jackdrawsgames:

luidilovins:

phruxx:

stynalane:

...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

                
            

            
            
arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerf...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset-utf-8");
 This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere
 Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *
 4
 Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this fíle again to write this comment.
 Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 and hope it will be enough
 Farewell
 *
 error_reporting (E ALL);
 ini set("display_errors", true)
 print'<?xml version= "1.0" encodina="UTF-8" ?>' "An") : ?>
Don’t read the source, Luke!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset-utf-8");
 This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere
 Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *
 4
 Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this fíle again to write this comment.
 Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 and hope it will be enough
 Farewell
 *
 error_reporting (E ALL);
 ini set("display_errors", true)
 print'<?xml version= "1.0" encodina="UTF-8" ?>' "An") : ?>
Don’t read the source, Luke!
                
            

            
            
Don’t read the source, Luke!

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Creepy, Gif, and Lesbians: So, I know it's a standard Tinder
 question but I have to ask-are
 you a serial killer, and if so do
 you have reason for it?
 Only a serial killer would ask if
 serial killer.
 was
 Wednesday 8:28 PM
 Naw, I wouldn't be able to
 handle the hours.
 Unless you were looking for a
 colleague serial killer to bond
 with...
 I was going to say the latter but
 Wednesday 9:13 PM
 Hypotheticals it is then. If I you
 were a serial killer, what would
 be your M.O.?
 That you are a man. I'd want to
 be a siren.
 Ooooh, I like it, somehow you
 made that not creepy. I am
 impressed.
 Do Sirens work on lesbians as
 well?
 Aw damn. I have failed.
 Ummm, no.
 Idk.
 Maybe?
 Wednesday 9:44 PM
 This sounds like a slightly
 problematic writting prompt in a
 freshman creative writting class.
 You can still kill me if you
 want, especially the straight
 white kind. They are pretty
 underrepresented in the serial
 killer victim market
 That is the sweetest thing a
 complete stranger has ever
 said to me
 Ya, just put some sad music
 in your playlist...or set... or
 whatever sirens do.
 Haaa okay
 So on a scale of 1-5 how would
 you rate my creepiness?
 Wednesday 10:33 PM
 Either O or 10. I cant read
 non-verbal in text conversations.
 On a scale of 1-5.
 I am 98% enjoying the banter,
 but 1.5% of me is irrationally
 scared that I just invited you to
 murder me
 Wednesday 11:04 PM
 Do you think this conversation
 would hold up in court?
 No, but hopefully it will hold up
 on reddit
 Lol... Let me know what sub
 you decide to post this on
 I'm pretty sure if it gets enough
 Karma, it becomes a legal
 document and will hold up in
 court.
 Fingers crossed
 Type a message...
 GIF
In the untimely event of my death…start here
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Creepy, Gif, and Lesbians: So, I know it's a standard Tinder
 question but I have to ask-are
 you a serial killer, and if so do
 you have reason for it?
 Only a serial killer would ask if
 serial killer.
 was
 Wednesday 8:28 PM
 Naw, I wouldn't be able to
 handle the hours.
 Unless you were looking for a
 colleague serial killer to bond
 with...
 I was going to say the latter but
 Wednesday 9:13 PM
 Hypotheticals it is then. If I you
 were a serial killer, what would
 be your M.O.?
 That you are a man. I'd want to
 be a siren.
 Ooooh, I like it, somehow you
 made that not creepy. I am
 impressed.
 Do Sirens work on lesbians as
 well?
 Aw damn. I have failed.
 Ummm, no.
 Idk.
 Maybe?
 Wednesday 9:44 PM
 This sounds like a slightly
 problematic writting prompt in a
 freshman creative writting class.
 You can still kill me if you
 want, especially the straight
 white kind. They are pretty
 underrepresented in the serial
 killer victim market
 That is the sweetest thing a
 complete stranger has ever
 said to me
 Ya, just put some sad music
 in your playlist...or set... or
 whatever sirens do.
 Haaa okay
 So on a scale of 1-5 how would
 you rate my creepiness?
 Wednesday 10:33 PM
 Either O or 10. I cant read
 non-verbal in text conversations.
 On a scale of 1-5.
 I am 98% enjoying the banter,
 but 1.5% of me is irrationally
 scared that I just invited you to
 murder me
 Wednesday 11:04 PM
 Do you think this conversation
 would hold up in court?
 No, but hopefully it will hold up
 on reddit
 Lol... Let me know what sub
 you decide to post this on
 I'm pretty sure if it gets enough
 Karma, it becomes a legal
 document and will hold up in
 court.
 Fingers crossed
 Type a message...
 GIF
In the untimely event of my death…start here
                
            

            
            
In the untimely event of my death…start here

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bad, Dank, and Friends: omegle
 Talk to strangers
 You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle!
 You both like Memes.
 You: Hi
 Stranger: Hey
 You: Hiya
 Stranger: *Karate kicks* Hiya
 You: Ouch wtf man that hurt
 Stranger: Yeah, now give me my chicken
 tendies!!
 You: No! My chicken tendies *stuffs mouth with
 chicken tendies*
 Stranger: Mommy, he stole my tendies!!!
 Stranger: I'll buy them from you with my good
 boi points
 You: Ooh
 You: How about
 You: This
 You: If you solve my testu can keep them
 Stranger: Deal, mommy always says I'm specia
 in the head
 You: Okay
 You: 69 ?
 Stranger: Nice
 You: Minecraft?
 Stranger: Good
 You: Fortnite?
 Stranger: Bad
 You: Elon musk?
 Stranger: Is jesus
 You: Who calls you breathtaking?
 Stranger: Keanu Reeves
 You: How many upvotes will this get?
 Stranger: 7
 You: Are you kust gonna scroll past without
 saying [Unrelated thing]
 Stranger: Loads LMG with religious intent*
 intent*
 Stranger: My spelling are shows you how
 serious I was
 You: I have_ friends
 Stranger: My mommy says not to lie, so you
 shouln't either
 You: Youtube ads are?
 Stranger: Fucking bullshit
 You: Reddit is?
 Stranger: The best
 You: the logo of the subreddit r/memes is?
 Stranger: Butter
 Stranger: Butter
 Stranger: If it hasn't changed
 You: Mods are
 Stranger: More gay than James Charles
 You: Huzzah! A man of culture! You passed with
 more flying colours than a mod orgy!! Here are
 your chicken tendies
 Stranger: Tendy Time!!!
 You: You also win the rights to post this on reddi
 to get your 7 upvotes
 You: Unless its your cake day
 You: Then u get 13 upvotes
 Stranger: Thank you, I hope we meet again
 someday. Until then live a great life
 Stranger has disconnected.
Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Dank, and Friends: omegle
 Talk to strangers
 You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle!
 You both like Memes.
 You: Hi
 Stranger: Hey
 You: Hiya
 Stranger: *Karate kicks* Hiya
 You: Ouch wtf man that hurt
 Stranger: Yeah, now give me my chicken
 tendies!!
 You: No! My chicken tendies *stuffs mouth with
 chicken tendies*
 Stranger: Mommy, he stole my tendies!!!
 Stranger: I'll buy them from you with my good
 boi points
 You: Ooh
 You: How about
 You: This
 You: If you solve my testu can keep them
 Stranger: Deal, mommy always says I'm specia
 in the head
 You: Okay
 You: 69 ?
 Stranger: Nice
 You: Minecraft?
 Stranger: Good
 You: Fortnite?
 Stranger: Bad
 You: Elon musk?
 Stranger: Is jesus
 You: Who calls you breathtaking?
 Stranger: Keanu Reeves
 You: How many upvotes will this get?
 Stranger: 7
 You: Are you kust gonna scroll past without
 saying [Unrelated thing]
 Stranger: Loads LMG with religious intent*
 intent*
 Stranger: My spelling are shows you how
 serious I was
 You: I have_ friends
 Stranger: My mommy says not to lie, so you
 shouln't either
 You: Youtube ads are?
 Stranger: Fucking bullshit
 You: Reddit is?
 Stranger: The best
 You: the logo of the subreddit r/memes is?
 Stranger: Butter
 Stranger: Butter
 Stranger: If it hasn't changed
 You: Mods are
 Stranger: More gay than James Charles
 You: Huzzah! A man of culture! You passed with
 more flying colours than a mod orgy!! Here are
 your chicken tendies
 Stranger: Tendy Time!!!
 You: You also win the rights to post this on reddi
 to get your 7 upvotes
 You: Unless its your cake day
 You: Then u get 13 upvotes
 Stranger: Thank you, I hope we meet again
 someday. Until then live a great life
 Stranger has disconnected.
Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Beautiful, Crime, and Girls: Princess Qajar.
 A symbol of beauty in Persia.
 13 young men killed themselves
 because she rejected them.
bigsleevescollects:
kyojinofbraveos:

sighs…..
Internet is back at it, again…..
When someone says harem to people, these kind of paintings come up in people’s mind.
L.F. Comerre. (1850 - 1916)
But, people who drew these paintings, they are called orientalists, have never seen a harem because NO STRANGER WERE ALLOWED TO ENTER THE HAREM UNLESS THEY WANT TO LOSE THEIR HEAD. So they painted what they dreamt of, since they were grown up with Western beauty concepts, they painted Harem girls as what their culture accepted beautiful.
BUT, at 19th century Persia, the Western beauty standards were not dominant. So of course, they had their own beauty standards and their own concept of beauty.
The more masculine a woman was, more beautiful she was accepted. The opposite was also true for men. Women with heavy brows and faint mustaches considered so attractive that they were sometimes painted on or augmented with mascara and young beardless men with slim waists and delicate features. In 19th century portraits of lovers, the genders are barely distinguishable, identified only by their headgear.
Young men without beards were the idols of beauty that time. Sexual mores and erotic sensibilities of 19th century Iran permitted homosexuality between these young men and older men.
BUT, after Iran started to be more modern, aka more Westernized, this beauty standards were lost. West beauty standards started to be more dominant and homosexuality was no longer permitted. Today, it is a crime to be homosexual at Iran.
This book, women with mustaches and men without beards, is about the beauty standards of Persia at Qajar dynasty. If you are interested, you can buy it and read. HERE is an interview with the author, Afsaneh Najmabadi.
At that time, Qajar princess was considered beautiful. Today, uncultured internet memers are making fun of her.  Shame @ all of you.
EDIT: That’s not Pricess Qajar ffs….. Qajar is the name of dynasty, not the princess….

Her name is  Zahra Khanom Tadj es-Saltaneh, she was the daughter of the King of Persia in the early 19th century. Not to forget that she had a university education.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beautiful, Crime, and Girls: Princess Qajar.
 A symbol of beauty in Persia.
 13 young men killed themselves
 because she rejected them.
bigsleevescollects:
kyojinofbraveos:

sighs…..
Internet is back at it, again…..
When someone says harem to people, these kind of paintings come up in people’s mind.
L.F. Comerre. (1850 - 1916)
But, people who drew these paintings, they are called orientalists, have never seen a harem because NO STRANGER WERE ALLOWED TO ENTER THE HAREM UNLESS THEY WANT TO LOSE THEIR HEAD. So they painted what they dreamt of, since they were grown up with Western beauty concepts, they painted Harem girls as what their culture accepted beautiful.
BUT, at 19th century Persia, the Western beauty standards were not dominant. So of course, they had their own beauty standards and their own concept of beauty.
The more masculine a woman was, more beautiful she was accepted. The opposite was also true for men. Women with heavy brows and faint mustaches considered so attractive that they were sometimes painted on or augmented with mascara and young beardless men with slim waists and delicate features. In 19th century portraits of lovers, the genders are barely distinguishable, identified only by their headgear.
Young men without beards were the idols of beauty that time. Sexual mores and erotic sensibilities of 19th century Iran permitted homosexuality between these young men and older men.
BUT, after Iran started to be more modern, aka more Westernized, this beauty standards were lost. West beauty standards started to be more dominant and homosexuality was no longer permitted. Today, it is a crime to be homosexual at Iran.
This book, women with mustaches and men without beards, is about the beauty standards of Persia at Qajar dynasty. If you are interested, you can buy it and read. HERE is an interview with the author, Afsaneh Najmabadi.
At that time, Qajar princess was considered beautiful. Today, uncultured internet memers are making fun of her.  Shame @ all of you.
EDIT: That’s not Pricess Qajar ffs….. Qajar is the name of dynasty, not the princess….

Her name is  Zahra Khanom Tadj es-Saltaneh, she was the daughter of the King of Persia in the early 19th century. Not to forget that she had a university education.

                
            

            
            
bigsleevescollects:
kyojinofbraveos:

sighs…..
Internet is back at it, again…..
When someone says harem to people, these kind of paintings c...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Ass, Click, and Energy: Portia Moemedi
 Follow
 @PortiaMoemedi
 Best thing I have read today
 innabitots
 Female chief in Malawi breaks
 up 850 child marriages and
 sends girls back to school
 NEWS
 10:34 PM - 17 Dec 2018
 13,017 Retweets 23,993 Likes

 aly
 Follow
 @AFRODREAMBOY
 Respect her and say her name:
 Theresa Kachindamoto.
 Portia Moemedi @PortiaMoemedi
 Female chief in Melawi breaks
 Best thing I have read today
 up 850 child marnieges and
 sends gils beck to school
 Show this thread
 8:53 AM - 19 Dec 2018
 33,209 Retweets 77,679 Likes
hot-chubbies-with-cheese:
cocoartistwrites:

stained-glass-rose:

taramaclaywasaterf:

thatpettyblackgirl:



This is powerful.


BlackGirlsMagic This is a real queen



I know I say this every time, but I’m saying it again: THEY DONT PUT NAMES IN HEADLINES UNLESS ITS AN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE NAME. They’re not being disrespectful. That’s just how headlines work. They’re not gonna write “John Smith Saves Toddler From a Well” they’re gonna write “Pennsylvania Man Saves Toddler From Well” and then put his name in the article. Most people aren’t gonna click a link/continue reading an article that says John Smith, because who the fuck is that, and why do I care about him? Now, if it was, like, Kim Kardashian saving a kid from a well, you bet your ass they’re gonna put her name in the headline. That’s clickbait GOLD. Her name is instantly recognizable. We know who she is, and we wanna read on.


Again, I’m saying this because, if we focus on the headline not saying Theresa’s name…it completely detracts the focus off the fact that this woman is a damn hero. We’re more upset and angry that she’s been “disrespected” (even though she hasn’t) by the, like, first rule of writing headlines, instead of saying “hey, she is saving these young girl’s lives, how can we help her?” Basically, share the article. Spread her message, share her story, and make Theresa’s name so goddamn well known that the next article that’s written about her WILL have her name in the headline.


Also @ anyone who says “why don’t they say their name!!!!” Consider this:
If you actually click on the damn thing and READ the article, I can guarantee you will learn the person’s name. It WILL be within the body of the article itself. So why are y’all acting like it’s a big mystery/ they’re deliberately erasing them or something? 
Aren’t you reading the article? If it really was so important to you, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to read and learn her name, instead of you know, sharing it without reading it for woke points. 👀👀👀👀👀


Hello I’m a journalist and this is exactly right. Names are news but only if people know them already. I’m so tired of seeing this all the time. It’s a completely nonsense thing to get mad about. Put your energy into something more important - like calling the media out for not covering enough of this. But not for not putting an unknown woman in a headline. 


QUEEN

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Click, and Energy: Portia Moemedi
 Follow
 @PortiaMoemedi
 Best thing I have read today
 innabitots
 Female chief in Malawi breaks
 up 850 child marriages and
 sends girls back to school
 NEWS
 10:34 PM - 17 Dec 2018
 13,017 Retweets 23,993 Likes

 aly
 Follow
 @AFRODREAMBOY
 Respect her and say her name:
 Theresa Kachindamoto.
 Portia Moemedi @PortiaMoemedi
 Female chief in Melawi breaks
 Best thing I have read today
 up 850 child marnieges and
 sends gils beck to school
 Show this thread
 8:53 AM - 19 Dec 2018
 33,209 Retweets 77,679 Likes
hot-chubbies-with-cheese:
cocoartistwrites:

stained-glass-rose:

taramaclaywasaterf:

thatpettyblackgirl:



This is powerful.


BlackGirlsMagic This is a real queen



I know I say this every time, but I’m saying it again: THEY DONT PUT NAMES IN HEADLINES UNLESS ITS AN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE NAME. They’re not being disrespectful. That’s just how headlines work. They’re not gonna write “John Smith Saves Toddler From a Well” they’re gonna write “Pennsylvania Man Saves Toddler From Well” and then put his name in the article. Most people aren’t gonna click a link/continue reading an article that says John Smith, because who the fuck is that, and why do I care about him? Now, if it was, like, Kim Kardashian saving a kid from a well, you bet your ass they’re gonna put her name in the headline. That’s clickbait GOLD. Her name is instantly recognizable. We know who she is, and we wanna read on.


Again, I’m saying this because, if we focus on the headline not saying Theresa’s name…it completely detracts the focus off the fact that this woman is a damn hero. We’re more upset and angry that she’s been “disrespected” (even though she hasn’t) by the, like, first rule of writing headlines, instead of saying “hey, she is saving these young girl’s lives, how can we help her?” Basically, share the article. Spread her message, share her story, and make Theresa’s name so goddamn well known that the next article that’s written about her WILL have her name in the headline.


Also @ anyone who says “why don’t they say their name!!!!” Consider this:
If you actually click on the damn thing and READ the article, I can guarantee you will learn the person’s name. It WILL be within the body of the article itself. So why are y’all acting like it’s a big mystery/ they’re deliberately erasing them or something? 
Aren’t you reading the article? If it really was so important to you, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to read and learn her name, instead of you know, sharing it without reading it for woke points. 👀👀👀👀👀


Hello I’m a journalist and this is exactly right. Names are news but only if people know them already. I’m so tired of seeing this all the time. It’s a completely nonsense thing to get mad about. Put your energy into something more important - like calling the media out for not covering enough of this. But not for not putting an unknown woman in a headline. 


QUEEN

                
            

            
            
hot-chubbies-with-cheese:
cocoartistwrites:

stained-glass-rose:

taramaclaywasaterf:

thatpettyblackgirl:



This is powerful.


BlackGirls...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
taraljc:

lemonsharks:


nikkoliferous:

biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe. 

Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War.


Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this”
https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast.
If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin.
And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit?


very absofuckingluteky horrifying

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
taraljc:

lemonsharks:


nikkoliferous:

biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe. 

Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War.


Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this”
https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast.
If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin.
And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit?


very absofuckingluteky horrifying

                
            

            
            
taraljc:

lemonsharks:


nikkoliferous:

biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quiet...