Pawing
Pawing

Pawing

Deadly
Deadly

Deadly

Scanning
Scanning

Scanning

Twice
Twice

Twice

Pussys
Pussys

Pussys

Sugar Walls
Sugar Walls

Sugar Walls

In 2016
In 2016

In 2016

The
The

The

Shitting
Shitting

Shitting

But
But

But

🔥 | Latest

The Shit: Dr. Pepper is the shit.
The Shit: Dr. Pepper is the shit.

Dr. Pepper is the shit.

The Shit: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
The Shit: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

The Shit: I hope the shit happening in America ends soon
The Shit: I hope the shit happening in America ends soon

I hope the shit happening in America ends soon

The Shit: Always scares the shit outta me
The Shit: Always scares the shit outta me

Always scares the shit outta me

The Shit: All the shit my son has put down the air conditioning vent in the last 6 years.
The Shit: All the shit my son has put down the air conditioning vent in the last 6 years.

All the shit my son has put down the air conditioning vent in the last 6 years.

The Shit: I’d wear the shit outta this camping by Davis1891 MORE MEMES
The Shit: I’d wear the shit outta this camping by Davis1891
MORE MEMES

I’d wear the shit outta this camping by Davis1891 MORE MEMES

The Shit: Always scares the shit outta me by sam11111111111111111 MORE MEMES
The Shit: Always scares the shit outta me by sam11111111111111111
MORE MEMES

Always scares the shit outta me by sam11111111111111111 MORE MEMES

The Shit: Always scares the shit outta me
The Shit: Always scares the shit outta me

Always scares the shit outta me

The Shit: The shit Garfield eat…
The Shit: The shit Garfield eat…

The shit Garfield eat…

The Shit: Some of you guys scare the shit out of me
The Shit: Some of you guys scare the shit out of me

Some of you guys scare the shit out of me

The Shit: Tomato holding the shit together.
The Shit: Tomato holding the shit together.

Tomato holding the shit together.

The Shit: laughoutloud-club: When the shit hits the fan
The Shit: laughoutloud-club:

When the shit hits the fan

laughoutloud-club: When the shit hits the fan

The Shit: They be the shit
The Shit: They be the shit

They be the shit

The Shit: In grade 3 I got nut kicked by a group of grade 5 kids. My grade 7 brother saw it happen and beat the shit out of them Iko Uwais style. Revenge is good.
The Shit: In grade 3 I got nut kicked by a group of grade 5 kids. My grade 7 brother saw it happen and beat the shit out of them Iko Uwais style. Revenge is good.

In grade 3 I got nut kicked by a group of grade 5 kids. My grade 7 brother saw it happen and beat the shit out of them Iko Uwais style. R...

The Shit: nargles-everywere: treefrogclub: libertybill: The cat screamed! Wiggle the shit outta here
The Shit: nargles-everywere:
treefrogclub:

libertybill:
The cat screamed!

Wiggle the shit outta here

nargles-everywere: treefrogclub: libertybill: The cat screamed! Wiggle the shit outta here

The Shit: All the shit talking
The Shit: All the shit talking

All the shit talking

The Shit: All the shit talking by appreciatedeeznuts MORE MEMES
The Shit: All the shit talking by appreciatedeeznuts
MORE MEMES

All the shit talking by appreciatedeeznuts MORE MEMES

The Shit: banbrotsu:inuyasha never got the shit talk gene.
The Shit: banbrotsu:inuyasha never got the shit talk gene.

banbrotsu:inuyasha never got the shit talk gene.

The Shit: GTA was the shit by can_i_get_likes MORE MEMES
The Shit: GTA was the shit by can_i_get_likes
MORE MEMES

GTA was the shit by can_i_get_likes MORE MEMES