The Ratio
The Ratio

The Ratio

Mothering
Mothering

Mothering

Equalism
Equalism

Equalism

Butter
Butter

Butter

Rapeing
Rapeing

Rapeing

to-tell-you
to-tell-you

to-tell-you

very happy
 very happy

very happy

polishing
 polishing

polishing

large
 large

large

spin
 spin

spin

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Apparently, Family, and Head: wwwoslightlywarped.com sixpenceee: The Witch of Joshua Ward House This Georgian and Federal style building was constructed by Joshua Ward, a wealthy merchant sea captain, in the late 1780s on the remaining foundations of former sheriff George Corwin’s house on Washington Street in Salem, Massachusetts. Corwin was a bloody figure whose zeal added to the unfortunate events surrounding Salem in the late 1600s. Nicknamed ‘The Strangler’ after his preferred torture (which included tying his prone victims’ necks to their ankles until the blood ran from their noses), he is said to have been responsible for many of the ‘witches’’ deaths, including that of Giles Corey who was crushed to death by placing heavy stones on his chest in order to extract a confession. Legend states that just before he died, Corey cursed the sheriff and all sheriffs that follow in his wake, for Corwin’s despicable acts. It should be noted here that every sheriff since Corey uttered his curse died while in office or had been “forced out of his post as the result of a heart or blood ailment.” Corwin himself died of a heart attack in 1696, only about four years after the end of the trials.  By the time of his death, Corwin was so despised that his family had to bury him in the cellar of their house to avoid desecration of the corpse by the public. In the early 1980s Carlson Realty bought the House with the intention of turning it into their headquarters. After moving in, a realtor by the name of Dale Lewinski began the task of taking photographs of the staff members to add to a welcome display.  Lewinski used a Polaroid camera to snap the head-and-shoulders, passport-style pictures. It was the photograph of a colleague by the name of Lorraine St. Peter that caused a stir. The Polaroid was developed and, instead of showing St. Peter, it appeared to depict a frightening image: a strange, black-haired, feminine figure. St. Peter was nowhere to be seen on the snap. The photograph has, apparently, not been cropped at all. St. Peter has been entirely replaced by the apparition. 
Apparently, Family, and Head: wwwoslightlywarped.com
sixpenceee:

The Witch of Joshua Ward House
This Georgian and Federal style building was constructed by Joshua Ward, a wealthy merchant sea captain, in the late 1780s on the remaining foundations of former sheriff George Corwin’s house on Washington Street in Salem, Massachusetts.
Corwin was a bloody figure whose zeal added to the unfortunate events surrounding Salem in the late 1600s. Nicknamed ‘The Strangler’ after his preferred torture (which included tying his prone victims’ necks to their ankles until the blood ran from their noses), he is said to have been responsible for many of the ‘witches’’ deaths, including that of Giles Corey who was crushed to death by placing heavy stones on his chest in order to extract a confession.
Legend states that just before he died, Corey cursed the sheriff and all sheriffs that follow in his wake, for Corwin’s despicable acts. It should be noted here that every sheriff since Corey uttered his curse died while in office or had been “forced out of his post as the result of a heart or blood ailment.” Corwin himself died of a heart attack in 1696, only about four years after the end of the trials.
 By the time of his death, Corwin was so despised that his family had to bury him in the cellar of their house to avoid desecration of the corpse by the public. In the early 1980s Carlson Realty bought the House with the intention of turning it into their headquarters. After moving in, a realtor by the name of Dale Lewinski began the task of taking photographs of the staff members to add to a welcome display.
 Lewinski used a Polaroid camera to snap the head-and-shoulders, passport-style pictures. It was the photograph of a colleague by the name of Lorraine St. Peter that caused a stir. The Polaroid was developed and, instead of showing St. Peter, it appeared to depict a frightening image: a strange, black-haired, feminine figure. St. Peter was nowhere to be seen on the snap. The photograph has, apparently, not been cropped at all. St. Peter has been entirely replaced by the apparition. 

sixpenceee: The Witch of Joshua Ward House This Georgian and Federal style building was constructed by Joshua Ward, a wealthy merchant sea ...

Animals, Beautiful, and Crying: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING: WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00 You won't be getting up for 5 through his diaper and now your bed is covered in urine more You change a diaper and try to get the kid to sleep a little longer but now the he's yelling zoo animals and doing flips on the 6:30 You made some breakfast for your child, but today he decided he hates eggs. He's saying he wants "scrims" but you don't know what that means. He won't explain and just keeps yelling "scrims" louder and louder 7:00 Your pillow got a little warm so you turn it over and go back to You've now watched the same episode of Spongebob four times. One time you tried to change it over to the news and your kid shoved a spoon in the Tranquil visions dance in your 8:00 O0 head as the sweet embrace of slumber engulfs your resting body You attempt to take a shower but your kid keeps throwing can openers into the tub. You weren't aware that you hacd multiple can openers An angel comes down and gently kisses your forehead. Sleep well, sweet prince 8:30 You walk upstairs to your room, but didn't realize your kid was using the stairs as a stunt zone for Hot Wheels and you slip on one and nearly die as you tumble back down to the A hummingbird perches itself outside your window and sings a sweet lullaby. He blows you a kiss and soars away 9:00 You try to finally go to the bathroom, but forgot to lock the door so now your kid is crying because you won't let him dump sand in your lap. He dumps it on the dog instead. The sand was actually used cat litter You wake briefly to adjust your sleep number. (You bought an adjustable bed with all the disposable income you have from not having a kid.) 9:30 You hear laughter, which is almost more terrifying than crying. You walk in the living room to see your kid making 10:00 S Still sleeping soundly, like a puppy in front of a crackling snow angels in glue. There's no way you're getting your deposit back with a giant glue angel in the middle of the carpet Your kid doses off and you try to catch up on your favorite show You stir a little and check your texts. Your friend wants to go to brunch later. That sounds nice 30 more minutes of sleep and you'll get ready for that. Maybe go to mall later or ride go-karts Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30 there's a dramatic moment where the music builds and your kid is now wide-awake. (Screw You get everyone loaded into the car to go to the zoo, even though it's 90 degrees and so humid taxidermy is coming back to life. Your kid yells a racial slur he heard in a movie. Out of all the words he's heard, that's the only one that stuck. You wake up feeling refreshed and beautiful. You know what? It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the bed a while and watch a movie 11:00 srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids
Animals, Beautiful, and Crying: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING:
 WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID
 WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS
 Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00
 You won't be getting up for 5
 through his diaper and now your
 bed is covered in urine
 more
 You change a diaper and try to
 get the kid to sleep a little longer
 but now the he's yelling zoo
 animals and doing flips on the
 6:30
 You made some breakfast for
 your child, but today he decided
 he hates eggs. He's saying he
 wants "scrims" but you don't
 know what that means. He won't
 explain and just keeps yelling
 "scrims" louder and louder
 7:00
 Your pillow got a little warm so
 you turn it over and go back to
 You've now watched the same
 episode of Spongebob four
 times. One time you tried to
 change it over to the news and
 your kid shoved a spoon in the
 Tranquil visions dance in your
 8:00
 O0
 head as the sweet embrace of
 slumber engulfs your resting
 body
 You attempt to take a shower
 but your kid keeps throwing can
 openers into the tub. You
 weren't aware that you hacd
 multiple can openers
 An angel comes down and
 gently kisses your forehead.
 Sleep well, sweet prince
 8:30
 You walk upstairs to your room,
 but didn't realize your kid was
 using the stairs as a stunt zone
 for Hot Wheels and you slip on
 one and nearly die as you
 tumble back down to the
 A hummingbird perches itself
 outside your window and sings a
 sweet lullaby. He blows you a
 kiss and soars away
 9:00
 You try to finally go to the
 bathroom, but forgot to lock the
 door so now your kid is crying
 because you won't let him dump
 sand in your lap. He dumps it on
 the dog instead. The sand was
 actually used cat litter
 You wake briefly to adjust your
 sleep number. (You bought an
 adjustable bed with all the
 disposable income you have
 from not having a kid.)
 9:30
 You hear laughter, which is
 almost more terrifying than
 crying. You walk in the living
 room to see your kid making 10:00
 S
 Still sleeping soundly, like a
 puppy in front of a crackling
 snow angels in glue. There's no
 way you're getting your deposit
 back with a giant glue angel in
 the middle of the carpet
 Your kid doses off and you try to
 catch up on your favorite show
 You stir a little and check your
 texts. Your friend wants to go to
 brunch later. That sounds nice
 30 more minutes of sleep and
 you'll get ready for that. Maybe
 go to mall later or ride go-karts
 Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30
 there's a dramatic moment
 where the music builds and your
 kid is now wide-awake. (Screw
 You get everyone loaded into
 the car to go to the zoo, even
 though it's 90 degrees and so
 humid taxidermy is coming back
 to life. Your kid yells a racial slur
 he heard in a movie. Out of all
 the words he's heard, that's the
 only one that stuck.
 You wake up feeling refreshed
 and beautiful. You know what?
 It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the
 bed a while and watch a movie
 11:00
srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

Butt, Crush, and Dating: carry-on-my-wayward-butt: youropinion-iswrong: lornagonigall: preciousorgel: t1nk3r-t0y: bunney: bunney: jellycarp: sonic-for-real-justice: transyuri: justice for mod silver what the hell is this?!! ♥♡♀mod amy♀♡♥ This is a moment in history WHERES THE FULL LENGTH FILM Honestly throw back to thisThis was the peak of tumblr Is Is this real Can I get a tumblr history lesson Tumblr history lesson coming up alright so its May 30th 2015, and this blog appears out of the blue. It’s a self-proclaimed REAL SJW blog, only they made a point of hating ‘special snowflakes’ aka any gender or sexuality that were not one of the well-known ones.  They all take the persona of a Sonic character, and at the time of the blog’s creation there were 6: Mods Sonic, Shadow, Amy, Tikal, Tails….and Silver. The blog hadn’t been active for 24 hours before Mod Silver allegedly closed the ask box. As you can see from the rules page at the time, this was a clear violation of the rules: The other mods were displeased, in particular Mod Amy who ignored his stated reasons for doing so and furiously demanded that he contact her on skype. Mod Silver was promptly removed from the blog for his first offence, however not before the blog’s followers took note of another rule on the list: Be kind to Mod Silver. The tumblr masses became angry at Mod Amy’s hypocrisy and called for her to be removed from the blog, starting the trends #IStandWithModSilver and #DownWithModAmy. She responded by saying she had done nothing wrong by disobeying the Mod Silver rule as the rules had been updated after his removal: This only made Mod Silver sympathizers angrier, increasing the pressure on Mod Amy. The whole thing upset Mods Tails and Tikal greatly, with Mod Tails trying to stand up for Mod Silver and Mod Tikal refusing to pick a side. At the end of the day, the blog had 10,000 followers, and both Mod Amy and Mod Sonic confirmed that Mod Silver was gone for good.  BUT WE AREN’T DONE. The very next day, Mod Tails resigned after alleged harassment by Mod Amy.  Mod Sonic then revealed that he and Mod Amy had been dating in secret. Mod Knuckles was recruited, hoping to be a peacemaker of sorts, and became the only Mod with the authority to change the rules. Later the same day, Mod Tikal was banned from the blog after labeling herself a demigirl, which violated the ‘special snowflake’ rule: On June 1st, Mod Sally joined the blog, but it simply made things worse as Mod Amy immediately suspected that Mod Sonic might have feelings for them. This caused an argument between the three, with Mod Shadow helping to stir up dust by making posts about Mod Sonic’s supposed crush. Knowing he was likely going to be banned, Mod Shadow then made his final post: Mod Sonic replied the next day confirming Mod Shadow’s removal. He then changed his name to Mod Super Sonic, and removed Mod Knuckles from the Mod List without warning for a violation of the rules (debated below): After which Mod Sally resigned, unwilling to put up with all the drama. Mod Amy was then unexpectedly banned by Mod Sonic, who had once again changed his name: Mod Sonic was now the only Mod left, and nobody knew what he would do next. The answer turned out to be… nothing, as 6 days of inactivity was a violation of the rules, and he left the blog. The story get less interesting from here. Mods Silver and Shadow returned to the blog alongside new Mods Blaze, Classic Sonic, and Classic Amy (both of which claimed not to be the originals). After a kerfuffle involving Mod Shadow claiming that Mod Silver encouraged hate of Mod Amy (which he then took back), Mods Classic Sonic and Classic Amy were removed for inactivity. FAST FORWARD TO AUGUST 2016, Mod Shadow became angry when a new Mod refused to pick a Sonic character for the blog, instead choosing Nagito Komaeda from Dangan Ronpa 2. They began arguing immediately: Since then, the blog has changed its theme to include Dangan Ronpa characters rather than Sonic ones, thought their URL remains the same. PLEASE look up screenshots, there are way more than the ones I included, but this post is long enough already. So ends the tale of Sonic For Real Justice, as I remember it I’VE BEEN WONDERING FOR SO LONG they’re a fun gay yugioh blog now
Butt, Crush, and Dating: carry-on-my-wayward-butt:
youropinion-iswrong:


lornagonigall:

preciousorgel:

t1nk3r-t0y:

bunney:

bunney:


jellycarp:


sonic-for-real-justice:


transyuri:


justice for mod silver

what the hell is this?!!


♥♡♀mod amy♀♡♥ 




This is a moment in history


WHERES THE FULL LENGTH FILM


Honestly throw back to thisThis was the peak of tumblr

Is

Is this real

Can I get a tumblr history lesson

Tumblr history lesson coming up
alright so its May 30th 2015, and this blog appears out of the blue. It’s a self-proclaimed REAL SJW blog, only they made a point of hating ‘special snowflakes’ aka any gender or sexuality that were not one of the well-known ones. 
They all take the persona of a Sonic character, and at the time of the blog’s creation there were 6: Mods Sonic, Shadow, Amy, Tikal, Tails….and Silver. The blog hadn’t been active for 24 hours before Mod Silver allegedly closed the ask box. As you can see from the rules page at the time, this was a clear violation of the rules:
The other mods were displeased, in particular Mod Amy who ignored his stated reasons for doing so and furiously demanded that he contact her on skype.
Mod Silver was promptly removed from the blog for his first offence, however not before the blog’s followers took note of another rule on the list: Be kind to Mod Silver.
The tumblr masses became angry at Mod Amy’s hypocrisy and called for her to be removed from the blog, starting the trends #IStandWithModSilver and #DownWithModAmy. She responded by saying she had done nothing wrong by disobeying the Mod Silver rule as the rules had been updated after his removal:
This only made Mod Silver sympathizers angrier, increasing the pressure on Mod Amy. The whole thing upset Mods Tails and Tikal greatly, with Mod Tails trying to stand up for Mod Silver and Mod Tikal refusing to pick a side.
At the end of the day, the blog had 10,000 followers, and both Mod Amy and Mod Sonic confirmed that Mod Silver was gone for good. 
BUT WE AREN’T DONE.
The very next day, Mod Tails resigned after alleged harassment by Mod Amy.  Mod Sonic then revealed that he and Mod Amy had been dating in secret. Mod Knuckles was recruited, hoping to be a peacemaker of sorts, and became the only Mod with the authority to change the rules. Later the same day, Mod Tikal was banned from the blog after labeling herself a demigirl, which violated the ‘special snowflake’ rule:
On June 1st, Mod Sally joined the blog, but it simply made things worse as Mod Amy immediately suspected that Mod Sonic might have feelings for them. This caused an argument between the three, with Mod Shadow helping to stir up dust by making posts about Mod Sonic’s supposed crush. Knowing he was likely going to be banned, Mod Shadow then made his final post:
Mod Sonic replied the next day confirming Mod Shadow’s removal. He then changed his name to Mod Super Sonic, and removed Mod Knuckles from the Mod List without warning for a violation of the rules (debated below):
After which Mod Sally resigned, unwilling to put up with all the drama. Mod Amy was then unexpectedly banned by Mod Sonic, who had once again changed his name:
Mod Sonic was now the only Mod left, and nobody knew what he would do next. The answer turned out to be… nothing, as 6 days of inactivity was a violation of the rules, and he left the blog. The story get less interesting from here.
Mods Silver and Shadow returned to the blog alongside new Mods Blaze, Classic Sonic, and Classic Amy (both of which claimed not to be the originals). After a kerfuffle involving Mod Shadow claiming that Mod Silver encouraged hate of Mod Amy (which he then took back), Mods Classic Sonic and Classic Amy were removed for inactivity.
FAST FORWARD TO AUGUST 2016, Mod Shadow became angry when a new Mod refused to pick a Sonic character for the blog, instead choosing Nagito Komaeda from Dangan Ronpa 2. They began arguing immediately:
Since then, the blog has changed its theme to include Dangan Ronpa characters rather than Sonic ones, thought their URL remains the same. PLEASE look up screenshots, there are way more than the ones I included, but this post is long enough already. So ends the tale of Sonic For Real Justice, as I remember it




I’VE BEEN WONDERING FOR SO LONG




they’re a fun gay yugioh blog now

carry-on-my-wayward-butt: youropinion-iswrong: lornagonigall: preciousorgel: t1nk3r-t0y: bunney: bunney: jellycarp: sonic-for-real...

Baby, One, and Day: One fine day with a woof and a purr, A baby was born and it caused a little stir
Baby, One, and Day: One fine day with a woof and a purr, A baby was born and it caused a little stir

One fine day with a woof and a purr, A baby was born and it caused a little stir

Another One, Bad, and Bad Boys: Crayola e With Preferred by Teachers ar E CRAYONS 24 homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS  AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL. SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK. There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them. The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi) You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted. Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint. Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color. BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible. Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.) so what you’re saying is i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns and have grey body paint i think i know where that’s going i think we all know where that’s going
Another One, Bad, and Bad Boys: Crayola
 e With
 Preferred by Teachers
 ar E
 CRAYONS
 24
homestuckpatternreference:

iamthesylveon:

f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s:

gryphynshadow:

silencingthedrums:

zeaky:

sliceofbri:

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET

SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS

GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS 

AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO

WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.

There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.

The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)

so what you’re saying is
i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns
and have grey body paint

i think i know where that’s going

i think we all know where that’s going

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