refuse
refuse

refuse

dieing
dieing

dieing

dipping
dipping

dipping

passing out
passing out

passing out

costumer
costumer

costumer

erosion
erosion

erosion

you
you

you

withings
withings

withings

expose
expose

expose

will
will

will

🔥 | Latest

sprout: Swords ~ Quest Sprout Falls
sprout: Swords ~ Quest Sprout Falls

Swords ~ Quest Sprout Falls

sprout: Swords ~ Quest Sprout Returns
sprout: Swords ~ Quest Sprout Returns

Swords ~ Quest Sprout Returns

sprout: Swords ~ Quest Sprout
sprout: Swords ~ Quest Sprout

Swords ~ Quest Sprout

sprout: everythingfox: Don’t forget to water your fox or else it won’t sprout
sprout: everythingfox:

Don’t forget to water your fox or else it won’t sprout

everythingfox: Don’t forget to water your fox or else it won’t sprout

sprout: so this kid he used to bully me in middle school before i got tough, well this is Kind of a funny story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt bring my glasses but im going through the house because she told me to make myself at home and i see a family photo and im just like he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit. and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah i have a son your age actually and im just like wait... and she was like you'll meet him later when we go to the car show, and im just like fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its me and her we're holding hands being friendly and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not this is the same dude who used to fucking bully me in middle school and he starts fucking crying because he didnt know his mom was lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while, but im getting fucked by your mom. I might to something CRAZY or RADICAL or REBELLIOUS like delete all my social media accounts for exactly one evening and then reinstall them all tomorrow and apologise to all my friends for blanking them again or I could do something even CRAZIER LIKE PUT TWO SUGARS IN MY TEA INSTEAD OF ONE!! I'm crazy and weird I'm like the Joker 😜😱😂 or Cole Sprout in River Dale 😳😵😱 All you guys really want is a vaguely witty caption with at least one penis-dildo joke in it well guess what!!!! Jordanna is asleep!!!! She's asleep!!!!! Goodnight Jordanna I hope you have a good sleep
sprout: so this kid he used to bully me in middle school
 before i got tough, well this is Kind of a funny
 story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest
 sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt
 bring my glasses but im going through the
 house because she told me to make myself at
 home and i see a family photo and im just like
 he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit.
 and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah
 i have a son your age actually and im just like
 wait... and she was like you'll meet him later
 when we go to the car show, and im just like
 fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its
 me and her we're holding hands being friendly
 and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not
 this is the same dude who used to fucking bully
 me in middle school and he starts fucking
 crying because he didnt know his mom was
 lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while,
 but im getting fucked by your mom.
I might to something CRAZY or RADICAL or REBELLIOUS like delete all my social media accounts for exactly one evening and then reinstall them all tomorrow and apologise to all my friends for blanking them again or I could do something even CRAZIER LIKE PUT TWO SUGARS IN MY TEA INSTEAD OF ONE!! I'm crazy and weird I'm like the Joker 😜😱😂 or Cole Sprout in River Dale 😳😵😱 All you guys really want is a vaguely witty caption with at least one penis-dildo joke in it well guess what!!!! Jordanna is asleep!!!! She's asleep!!!!! Goodnight Jordanna I hope you have a good sleep

I might to something CRAZY or RADICAL or REBELLIOUS like delete all my social media accounts for exactly one evening and then reinstall t...

sprout: Judy Brown I've done something ingenious to wind up my Dad (which is basically my favourite holiday pastime). It begins ike this Judy Brown Some of you out there may recall that in 2016 Iplayed an excellent Christmas prank on my long-suffering Dad. It worked a treat. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h Replying to @mcjude Last year I decided to play the long game & didn't tamper with the confectionary: spooked by the year before, he would not touch a single Ferrero Rocher (which was great because he usually inhales them at 750mph) so there were Ferreros aplenty for the rest of us. I bided my Judy Brown @mcjude 7h And so, yesterday, home for Christmas and with the devil at my elbow, I embarked on my most audacious sprout prank yet. Judy Brown @mcjude-7h While he was out I dipped the sprouts in chocolate, rolled them in chopped hazelnuts, and did all I could to replicate the iconic Ferrerro. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h l re-wrapped and (this is crucial) re- sealed the box with its original tape and a tiny dab of glue. Then secreted it amongst a bag of tasty gifts from my Aunt and retired to watch from afar Judy Brown @mcjude 7h Last night he viewed them with suspiciorn when they came out the bag... but I was out all day, how could I have tampered with them? He abstained and they sat in the kitchen all night. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h This bright Christmas morning we were gathered round the tree, drinking tea and opening presents. Dad eyed the box. He quite likes a post-brekkie Ferrero. He approached. I hovered in the kitchen, careful not to spook him. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h And Lo! He opened. He EXAMINED. He unwrapped. He examined FURTHER Fears allayed, he popped the whole thing in his mouth. His face played a symphony of emotions: satisfaction, triumph, realisation, horror, disgust. Judy Brown @mcjude 7h I am still chuckling. I will all day long.I know his retribution will be swift and terrible, but no Christmas gift could be greater than this: seeing my Dad, despite his efforts to avoid it, unwittingly eat a raw sprout. Merry Christmas, one and all 9193 t457 9644 72,816 notes Playing the Long Game
sprout: Judy Brown
 I've done something ingenious to wind
 up my Dad (which is basically my
 favourite holiday pastime). It begins
 ike this
 Judy Brown
 Some of you out there may recall that
 in 2016 Iplayed an excellent
 Christmas prank on my long-suffering
 Dad. It worked a treat.
 Judy Brown @mcjude 7h
 Replying to @mcjude
 Last year I decided to play the long game
 & didn't tamper with the confectionary:
 spooked by the year before, he would
 not touch a single Ferrero Rocher (which
 was great because he usually inhales
 them at 750mph) so there were Ferreros
 aplenty for the rest of us. I bided my
 Judy Brown @mcjude 7h
 And so, yesterday, home for Christmas
 and with the devil at my elbow, I
 embarked on my most audacious sprout
 prank yet.
 Judy Brown @mcjude-7h
 While he was out I dipped the sprouts in
 chocolate, rolled them in chopped
 hazelnuts, and did all I could to replicate
 the iconic Ferrerro.
 Judy Brown @mcjude 7h
 l re-wrapped and (this is crucial) re-
 sealed the box with its original tape and a
 tiny dab of glue. Then secreted it
 amongst a bag of tasty gifts from my
 Aunt and retired to watch from afar
 Judy Brown @mcjude 7h
 Last night he viewed them with suspiciorn
 when they came out the bag... but I was
 out all day, how could I have tampered
 with them? He abstained and they sat in
 the kitchen all night.
 Judy Brown @mcjude 7h
 This bright Christmas morning we were
 gathered round the tree, drinking tea and
 opening presents. Dad eyed the box. He
 quite likes a post-brekkie Ferrero. He
 approached. I hovered in the kitchen,
 careful not to spook him.
 Judy Brown @mcjude 7h
 And Lo! He opened. He EXAMINED. He
 unwrapped. He examined FURTHER
 Fears allayed, he popped the whole thing
 in his mouth. His face played a symphony
 of emotions: satisfaction, triumph,
 realisation, horror, disgust.
 Judy Brown @mcjude 7h
 I am still chuckling. I will all day long.I
 know his retribution will be swift and
 terrible, but no Christmas gift could be
 greater than this: seeing my Dad, despite
 his efforts to avoid it, unwittingly eat a
 raw sprout. Merry Christmas, one and all
 9193 t457 9644
 72,816 notes
Playing the Long Game

Playing the Long Game

sprout: FOOD THAT Growing anything from a seed is impressive but also difficult, unless you're blessed with a green thumb. THaT MAGICALLY REGEROWS ITSELF Sure, it saves on money but there has to be an easier way... and there is! You can actually grow food from kitchen scraps. There is something very MacGyver about It's true! You can upcycle everything from celery scraps to onion butts with chance of success. Use organic fruits and vegetables for the best results. that, no? a great Green onions, lemongrass, leeks, fennel, & spring onions FOR LEMONGRASS ONLY Place root ends in water but don't fully submerge them. Change the water daily In 3-5 days, growth begins. Harvest the greens when full, then repeat the process Harvest lemongrass once it becomes a foot tall. Simply cut off what you need without uprooting the plant. Celery, cabbage, romaine lettuce, & bok chou Submerge the roots, leaving the tops above the water line. Spray with water a couple times a week, replacing the water every few days. Leaves will sprout in about a week. Plant the cutting with only the leaves above soil. Harvest when fully grown, about 5 months. Ginger Soak the chunk of ginger overnight. Submerge in moist soil. Keep watering until shoots appear Ready to harvest in a year. Simply remove entire plant, use what you need and repeat. Onion Plant root end and lightly cover it in soil. Keep soil moist. Carefully separate the new onions, leaving the roots attached, and plant them. Occasionally cut the leaves down to promote full growth. It can take up to 5 months for plants to mature enough for harvest. Garlic The bulbs will be ready for harvest in early summer when the bottom 1/3 of the leaves have yellowed. The larger the clove, the larger the resulting bulb. Sit the plant in a sunny window keeping the soil moist. COMPOST REMOVE Mushroonm Use a mixture of compost and soil. Plant the mushroom stalk in the soil with only the surface of it exposed. If the cutting takes, new growth happens q Harvest and repeat. uickly 4 DEEP HOLE Potatoes& Sweet Potatoes 8 DEPTH Cut into 2 pieces, each having 1-2 "eyes" on it Set pieces out at room temp for a few days, until fully dry St ore sweet potatoes in a warm, dry place for 2 weeks before using. This is what makes them sweet. 12" APART Add more soil as the plant grows until i is about 6" tall Pineapple Slice off the green leafy top and remove all fruit. Carefully remove the bottom layers until you see root buds. Growth happens in the first few months but it will be Place in water for two weeks to form roots. 2-3 years before harvest. WHOLE FOODS COOKING STONED Content & Design Jerry James Stone /@jerryjamesstone Chris Rooney/ @looneyrooneycom tv M A R K E T <p>¡Comida infinita!</p>
sprout: FOOD
 THAT
 Growing anything from a seed is impressive but also
 difficult, unless you're blessed with a green thumb.
 THaT MAGICALLY REGEROWS
 ITSELF
 Sure, it saves on money but there has to be an easier way... and there is! You can actually
 grow food from kitchen scraps. There is something very MacGyver about
 It's true! You can upcycle everything from celery scraps to onion butts with
 chance of success. Use organic fruits and vegetables for the best results.
 that, no?
 a great
 Green onions,
 lemongrass,
 leeks, fennel,
 & spring onions
 FOR
 LEMONGRASS
 ONLY
 Place root ends in water but
 don't fully submerge them.
 Change the water daily
 In 3-5 days, growth begins.
 Harvest the greens when full,
 then repeat the process
 Harvest lemongrass once it
 becomes a foot tall. Simply
 cut off what you need without
 uprooting the plant.
 Celery, cabbage,
 romaine lettuce,
 & bok chou
 Submerge the roots,
 leaving the tops above
 the water line.
 Spray with water a couple
 times a week, replacing the
 water every few days. Leaves
 will sprout in about a week.
 Plant the cutting with only the
 leaves above soil. Harvest when
 fully grown, about 5 months.
 Ginger
 Soak the chunk of
 ginger overnight.
 Submerge in moist soil. Keep
 watering until shoots appear
 Ready to harvest in a year.
 Simply remove entire plant,
 use what you need and repeat.

 Onion
 Plant root end and
 lightly cover it in soil.
 Keep soil moist.
 Carefully separate the new
 onions, leaving the roots
 attached, and plant them.
 Occasionally cut the leaves
 down to promote full growth.
 It can take up to 5 months
 for plants to mature enough
 for harvest.
 Garlic
 The bulbs will be ready for
 harvest in early summer
 when the bottom 1/3 of
 the leaves have yellowed.
 The larger the clove, the
 larger the resulting bulb.
 Sit the plant in a sunny window
 keeping the soil moist.
 COMPOST
 REMOVE
 Mushroonm
 Use a mixture of
 compost and soil.
 Plant the mushroom stalk in
 the soil with only the surface
 of it exposed.
 If the cutting takes, new
 growth happens q
 Harvest and repeat.
 uickly

 4 DEEP
 HOLE
 Potatoes&
 Sweet Potatoes
 8 DEPTH
 Cut into 2 pieces, each
 having 1-2 "eyes" on it
 Set pieces out at room
 temp for a few days,
 until fully dry
 St
 ore sweet potatoes in
 a warm, dry place for 2 weeks
 before using. This is what
 makes them sweet.
 12" APART
 Add more soil as the plant
 grows until i is about 6" tall
 Pineapple
 Slice off the green leafy
 top and remove all fruit.
 Carefully remove the
 bottom layers until you
 see root buds.
 Growth happens in the first
 few months but it will be
 Place in water for two
 weeks to form roots.
 2-3 years before harvest.
 WHOLE
 FOODS COOKING STONED
 Content & Design
 Jerry James Stone /@jerryjamesstone
 Chris Rooney/ @looneyrooneycom
 tv
 M A R K E T
<p>¡Comida infinita!</p>

<p>¡Comida infinita!</p>

sprout: did you know? There are pencils that turn into plants when you're done using them Their erasers are replaced with seed capsules, allowing you to stick them into soil and sprout yourself a new plant once they're too short to write with. PHOTO: SPROUTWORLD DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM <p><a href="https://artwitchpath.tumblr.com/post/172446039386/mortwitch-skrata-did-you-kno-there-are" class="tumblr_blog">artwitchpath</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://mortwitch.tumblr.com/post/142372313974">mortwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://skrata.tumblr.com/post/142370742164">skrata</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://did-you-kno.tumblr.com/post/142364731926">did-you-kno</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>There are pencils that turn into plants when you’re done using them. </p> <figure data-orig-width="830" data-orig-height="307" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/9422dd00f85fabf8bc15a1c6d2fa0a11/tumblr_inline_o54g86Djlq1sjh1ps_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="830" data-orig-height="307"/></figure><p> The ‘Sprout Pencil’ is the first sustainable pencil in the world that can be planted after use. <br/></p> <figure data-orig-width="724" data-orig-height="435" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/02770cdf0e34442e5af40551da915b22/tumblr_inline_o54ha5iiXl1sjh1ps_540.png" alt="image" data-orig-width="724" data-orig-height="435"/></figure><p><i>“We have chosen the seeds for our pencils with great care, and they germinate quickly: i.e. within 1-3 weeks, depending on the seed variety. Most plants can be grown both indoors and outdoors.” </i><br/></p> <figure data-orig-width="456" data-orig-height="344"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fc5b993db4c099676010a789e49b4e8d/tumblr_inline_o54g8oA5hk1sjh1ps_500.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="256" data-orig-height="144"/></figure><p>It’s made of natural materials: the body is cedar wood, and the “lead” is a mixture of clay and graphite.</p> <figure data-orig-width="849" data-orig-height="399" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/15a500e9eedd2e2e5da2a8fe6680241c/tumblr_inline_o54gb4xp0K1sjh1ps_540.png" alt="image" data-orig-width="849" data-orig-height="399"/></figure><p>Sprout pencils are available in 22 varieties, including sunflower, mint, lavender, sage, forget-me-not, cherry tomato, sweet pea, cilantro, and wild strawberry.</p> <figure data-orig-width="529" data-orig-height="321" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/54d31c74795a1ea5ec04bf2272f3c096/tumblr_inline_o54g9hFUYv1sjh1ps_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="529" data-orig-height="321"/></figure><p><b>What to do</b><br/></p> <p><i>“When the Sprout Pencil has become too short to write with, it is ready to be planted. Follow the simple instructions below and see your Sprout pencil sprout.”</i></p> <figure data-orig-width="815" data-orig-height="1187" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c81aa37305cbe2d889ed7dade411bf9d/tumblr_inline_o54g9ymIXA1sjh1ps_540.png" alt="image" data-orig-width="815" data-orig-height="1187"/></figure><p>They are also available in the colored pencil variety, which makes me oh-so-happy! <br/></p> <figure data-orig-width="1030" data-orig-height="400" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4785142e053889de186a1590a0282822/tumblr_inline_o54g94zx3O1sjh1ps_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1030" data-orig-height="400"/></figure><p><a href="http://www.iflscience.com/environment/these-pencils-can-grow-plants-if-you-place-them-pot">Source</a></p> </blockquote> <p>I’m almost positive there’s a spell use for these. Someone more clever will probably think of it.</p> </blockquote> <p>Art witches could use these herbs omggg. Drawing protective sigils with the basil or rosemary one omggggggggggggggg. </p> </blockquote> <p>OMG! Best thing I’ve seen in forever. I’m definitely getting some of these!!</p> </blockquote>
sprout: did you know?
 There are pencils that turn into
 plants when you're done using them
 Their erasers are replaced with seed
 capsules, allowing you to stick them
 into soil and sprout yourself a new
 plant once they're too short
 to write with.
 PHOTO: SPROUTWORLD
 DIDYOUKNOWBLOG.COM
<p><a href="https://artwitchpath.tumblr.com/post/172446039386/mortwitch-skrata-did-you-kno-there-are" class="tumblr_blog">artwitchpath</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://mortwitch.tumblr.com/post/142372313974">mortwitch</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://skrata.tumblr.com/post/142370742164">skrata</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://did-you-kno.tumblr.com/post/142364731926">did-you-kno</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>There are pencils that turn into 
plants when you’re done using them. </p>
<figure data-orig-width="830" data-orig-height="307" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/9422dd00f85fabf8bc15a1c6d2fa0a11/tumblr_inline_o54g86Djlq1sjh1ps_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="830" data-orig-height="307"/></figure><p>

The ‘Sprout Pencil’ is the first sustainable pencil in the world that can be planted after use.

<br/></p>
<figure data-orig-width="724" data-orig-height="435" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/02770cdf0e34442e5af40551da915b22/tumblr_inline_o54ha5iiXl1sjh1ps_540.png" alt="image" data-orig-width="724" data-orig-height="435"/></figure><p><i>“We have chosen the seeds for our pencils with great care, and they germinate quickly: i.e. within 1-3 weeks, depending on the seed variety. Most plants can be grown both indoors and outdoors.” </i><br/></p>
<figure data-orig-width="456" data-orig-height="344"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fc5b993db4c099676010a789e49b4e8d/tumblr_inline_o54g8oA5hk1sjh1ps_500.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="256" data-orig-height="144"/></figure><p>It’s made of natural materials: the body is cedar wood, and the “lead” is a mixture of clay and graphite.</p>
<figure data-orig-width="849" data-orig-height="399" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/15a500e9eedd2e2e5da2a8fe6680241c/tumblr_inline_o54gb4xp0K1sjh1ps_540.png" alt="image" data-orig-width="849" data-orig-height="399"/></figure><p>Sprout pencils are available in 22 varieties, including sunflower, mint, lavender, sage, forget-me-not, cherry tomato, sweet pea, cilantro, and wild strawberry.</p>
<figure data-orig-width="529" data-orig-height="321" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/54d31c74795a1ea5ec04bf2272f3c096/tumblr_inline_o54g9hFUYv1sjh1ps_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="529" data-orig-height="321"/></figure><p><b>What to do</b><br/></p>
<p><i>“When the Sprout Pencil has become too short to write with, it is ready to be planted. Follow the simple instructions below and see your Sprout pencil sprout.”</i></p>
<figure data-orig-width="815" data-orig-height="1187" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c81aa37305cbe2d889ed7dade411bf9d/tumblr_inline_o54g9ymIXA1sjh1ps_540.png" alt="image" data-orig-width="815" data-orig-height="1187"/></figure><p>They are also available in the colored pencil variety, which makes me oh-so-happy! <br/></p>
<figure data-orig-width="1030" data-orig-height="400" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4785142e053889de186a1590a0282822/tumblr_inline_o54g94zx3O1sjh1ps_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1030" data-orig-height="400"/></figure><p><a href="http://www.iflscience.com/environment/these-pencils-can-grow-plants-if-you-place-them-pot">Source</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>I’m almost positive there’s a spell use for these. Someone more clever will probably think of it.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Art witches could use these herbs omggg. Drawing protective sigils with the basil or rosemary one omggggggggggggggg. </p>
</blockquote>

<p>OMG! Best thing I’ve seen in forever. I’m definitely getting some of these!!</p>
</blockquote>

<p><a href="https://artwitchpath.tumblr.com/post/172446039386/mortwitch-skrata-did-you-kno-there-are" class="tumblr_blog">artwitchpath</a...

sprout: SPROUT CHILD <p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/7f541p/my_first_attempt_at_a_surreal_meme_please_no_h_u/">Src</a>]</p>
sprout: SPROUT
 CHILD
<p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/7f541p/my_first_attempt_at_a_surreal_meme_please_no_h_u/">Src</a>]</p>

<p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/7f541p/my_first_attempt_at_a_surreal_meme_please_no_h_u/">Src</a>]</p>

sprout: amusewithaview incorrectdiscworldquotes roachpatrol magica-tenore-regina lizthefangirl ademigodgirl rainbow-bear A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this reason he must decide who will take the throne after he dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne, this being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the contest all of the children came to the palace with their enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all of the children's pots, he finally decides that the little girl with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he choose this little girl over all of the other children with their beautiful plants The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.). The other kids cheated and got different seeds and planted them. The little girl didn't cheat and was not able to grow anything because the seed was dead. She was the only one who didn't cheat. damn Nothing like original fairy tales! i get the moral it's trying to convey but that king is an idiot and the kingdom's doomed. you don't appoint an honest kid who will forthrightly admit a failure like that to leadership of a country, you put that kid in charge of like... the army, or something. the department of agriculture i'd send out dead seeds, then appoint the kid with the biggest and most beautiful plant anyway. ideally the same kind of plant as the dead seeds were from. and ideally a kid with a really good pokerface. that kid knows a) how to perceive failure early (a well developed second plant means they knew how soon the first seeds should sprout and didn't fuck around when they didn't) b) how to fix the situation (a second plant of the same species means they got someone to help them identify the seeds and plant more, or are observant enough to do it themselves) c) how to get the best people for a job in to do it (kids aren't great gardeners. a beautiful science project probably means mom did all the work-just what you want from a child ruler and their regent) all around, that kid (or their mom) is the kind of devious results-oriented bald-faced liar you want to go toe-to-toe with the lords of your country and the rulers of your neighbors. not a little kid who admits defeat so early and in a situation with such high stakes. whoops i didn't grow a plant' sounds a lot less sweet when you phrase it like 'i give up on ruling my country you know, i think i'd also send agents out to encourage the kids to destroy each other's plants. let's see who's good at seige warfare, too Did Lord Vetinari write that post? Reblogging for the Machiavellian addition How to choose an heir to the throne
sprout: amusewithaview
 incorrectdiscworldquotes
 roachpatrol
 magica-tenore-regina
 lizthefangirl
 ademigodgirl
 rainbow-bear
 A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this
 reason he must decide who will take the throne after he
 dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the
 children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has
 the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne, this
 being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the
 contest all of the children came to the palace with their
 enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all
 of the children's pots, he finally decides that the little girl
 with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he
 choose this little girl over all of the other children with their
 beautiful plants
 The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.). The other kids
 cheated and got different seeds and planted them. The little
 girl didn't cheat and was not able to grow anything because
 the seed was dead. She was the only one who didn't cheat.
 damn
 Nothing like original fairy tales!
 i get the moral it's trying to convey but that king is an idiot and the
 kingdom's doomed. you don't appoint an honest kid who will forthrightly
 admit a failure like that to leadership of a country, you put that kid in
 charge of like... the army, or something. the department of agriculture
 i'd send out dead seeds, then appoint the kid with the biggest and most
 beautiful plant anyway. ideally the same kind of plant as the dead
 seeds were from. and ideally a kid with a really good pokerface. that kid
 knows
 a) how to perceive failure early (a well developed second plant means
 they knew how soon the first seeds should sprout and didn't fuck
 around when they didn't)
 b) how to fix the situation (a second plant of the same species means
 they got someone to help them identify the seeds and plant more, or
 are observant enough to do it themselves)
 c) how to get the best people for a job in to do it (kids aren't great
 gardeners. a beautiful science project probably means mom did all the
 work-just what you want from a child ruler and their regent)
 all around, that kid (or their mom) is the kind of devious results-oriented
 bald-faced liar you want to go toe-to-toe with the lords of your country
 and the rulers of your neighbors. not a little kid who admits defeat so
 early and in a situation with such high stakes. whoops i didn't grow a
 plant' sounds a lot less sweet when you phrase it like 'i give up on
 ruling my country
 you know, i think i'd also send agents out to encourage the kids to
 destroy each other's plants. let's see who's good at seige warfare, too
 Did Lord Vetinari write that post?
 Reblogging for the Machiavellian addition
How to choose an heir to the throne

How to choose an heir to the throne

sprout: amusewithaview incorrectdiscworldquotes roachpatrol magica-tenore-regina lizthefangirl ademigodgirl rainbow-bear A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this reason he must decide who will take the throne after he dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne, this being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the contest all of the children came to the palace with their enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all of the children's pots, he finally decides that the little girl with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he choose this little girl over all of the other children with their beautiful plants The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.). The other kids cheated and got different seeds and planted them. The little girl didn't cheat and was not able to grow anything because the seed was dead. She was the only one who didn't cheat. damn Nothing like original fairy tales! i get the moral it's trying to convey but that king is an idiot and the kingdom's doomed. you don't appoint an honest kid who will forthrightly admit a failure like that to leadership of a country, you put that kid in charge of like... the army, or something. the department of agriculture i'd send out dead seeds, then appoint the kid with the biggest and most beautiful plant anyway. ideally the same kind of plant as the dead seeds were from. and ideally a kid with a really good pokerface. that kid knows a) how to perceive failure early (a well developed second plant means they knew how soon the first seeds should sprout and didn't fuck around when they didn't) b) how to fix the situation (a second plant of the same species means they got someone to help them identify the seeds and plant more, or are observant enough to do it themselves) c) how to get the best people for a job in to do it (kids aren't great gardeners. a beautiful science project probably means mom did all the work-just what you want from a child ruler and their regent) all around, that kid (or their mom) is the kind of devious results-oriented bald-faced liar you want to go toe-to-toe with the lords of your country and the rulers of your neighbors. not a little kid who admits defeat so early and in a situation with such high stakes. whoops i didn't grow a plant' sounds a lot less sweet when you phrase it like 'i give up on ruling my country you know, i think i'd also send agents out to encourage the kids to destroy each other's plants. let's see who's good at seige warfare, too Did Lord Vetinari write that post? Reblogging for the Machiavellian addition How to choose an heir to the throne
sprout: amusewithaview
 incorrectdiscworldquotes
 roachpatrol
 magica-tenore-regina
 lizthefangirl
 ademigodgirl
 rainbow-bear
 A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this
 reason he must decide who will take the throne after he
 dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the
 children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has
 the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne, this
 being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the
 contest all of the children came to the palace with their
 enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all
 of the children's pots, he finally decides that the little girl
 with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he
 choose this little girl over all of the other children with their
 beautiful plants
 The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.). The other kids
 cheated and got different seeds and planted them. The little
 girl didn't cheat and was not able to grow anything because
 the seed was dead. She was the only one who didn't cheat.
 damn
 Nothing like original fairy tales!
 i get the moral it's trying to convey but that king is an idiot and the
 kingdom's doomed. you don't appoint an honest kid who will forthrightly
 admit a failure like that to leadership of a country, you put that kid in
 charge of like... the army, or something. the department of agriculture
 i'd send out dead seeds, then appoint the kid with the biggest and most
 beautiful plant anyway. ideally the same kind of plant as the dead
 seeds were from. and ideally a kid with a really good pokerface. that kid
 knows
 a) how to perceive failure early (a well developed second plant means
 they knew how soon the first seeds should sprout and didn't fuck
 around when they didn't)
 b) how to fix the situation (a second plant of the same species means
 they got someone to help them identify the seeds and plant more, or
 are observant enough to do it themselves)
 c) how to get the best people for a job in to do it (kids aren't great
 gardeners. a beautiful science project probably means mom did all the
 work-just what you want from a child ruler and their regent)
 all around, that kid (or their mom) is the kind of devious results-oriented
 bald-faced liar you want to go toe-to-toe with the lords of your country
 and the rulers of your neighbors. not a little kid who admits defeat so
 early and in a situation with such high stakes. whoops i didn't grow a
 plant' sounds a lot less sweet when you phrase it like 'i give up on
 ruling my country
 you know, i think i'd also send agents out to encourage the kids to
 destroy each other's plants. let's see who's good at seige warfare, too
 Did Lord Vetinari write that post?
 Reblogging for the Machiavellian addition
How to choose an heir to the throne

How to choose an heir to the throne