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馃敟 | Latest

Sprays: Me browsing toilet paper memes as my bidet sprays my bum
Sprays: Me browsing toilet paper memes as my bidet sprays my bum

Me browsing toilet paper memes as my bidet sprays my bum

Sprays: buzzfeed: laughterkey: wonderali: alltangledupinblue: teaandcathair: brofisting: astolat: badscienceshenanigans: 0hcicero: beautifulchaos-anumcara: buzzfeed: adulthoodisokay: adulthoodisokay: aimee-b-loved: bijoux-et-mineraux: reclusiveandelusive: tsreckoah: naughtylittledragon: nassadii: tsreckoah: thepioden: vulcanology-geology: mollisaurus: lizaleigh: zdravomilla: brambledboneyards: xekstrin: bijoux-et-mineraux: Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo *looks around* Is Is anyone gonna say it malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite @lizaleigh聽do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don鈥檛 feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo. 鈥adly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: 鈥淓XPLAIN.鈥滱lthough I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts? oh geeze, i鈥檓 kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want? It鈥檚 really only a problem if you鈥檙e polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It鈥檚 rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway鈥 Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._. I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out. So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here. Oh my god guys it鈥檚 poisonous It is super poisonous There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock Try this one instead.聽 malachite literally explodes in water does it not? I鈥 no鈥 I think you鈥檙e thinking of pure sodium? Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you鈥檙e getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You鈥檙e also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on聽 being you. I鈥檓 still not sure if I can fuck this rock. I鈥檓 looking into it. UPDATE: Today in 鈥淚鈥檓 so sorry, coworkers, it鈥檚 for Tumblr,鈥 I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the question聽鈥淐an you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?鈥 The answer is 鈥淚t鈥檚 probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.鈥 Oh man this got so much better than the last time I saw this post This is my favourite. Science side of tumblr: asking the REAL questions *biologist crashes through the underbrush*Ok so here鈥檚 the thing thoughMalachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days.Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, 鈥楥AUSE HERE THEY ARE.鈥 Malachite is not copper oxide. It鈥檚聽Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates it鈥檚 water soluble鈥 that鈥檚 how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk of聽鈥渕alachite鈥 isn鈥檛 just malachite鈥 it鈥檚 a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later.聽鈥 When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungi鈥 so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organisms聽that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture).聽So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++.鈥 Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in water鈥 but vaginal secretions aren鈥檛 just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. It鈥檚 also warmer than your average underground cave at 37掳C (or 98.5掳F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster.聽鈥 In other words, the human vagina聽dissolves malachite.聽鈥 I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is.聽鈥 Gonna to take a quick moment to point out that sex toys that dissolve when you use them are maybe not the best investment.聽鈥 Anyway the key question now is聽鈥渉ow fast does the human vagina dissolve malachite?鈥 Are we talking geological timescale, a Nazis-in-Indiana-Jones situation, or something in between? If the reaction kinetics of dissolution are very slow, then there鈥檚 nothing to worry about. An encounter with a stalactite would have to last years for enough Cu++ to leach out to cause problems. If it鈥檚 quick then we鈥檙e in trouble.聽鈥 Unfortunately it looks like nobody really knows. One of the best sources on how malachite dissolves & precipitates in water鈥 an EPA document on how to avoid too much Cu++ in municipal drinking water systems鈥 helpfully says聽鈥淭he kinetic constraints on the formation of these solids in water systems are largely unexplored鈥 (p. 42) because end equilibrium points is all you need to run a city water system safely. In other words, the experiments that would tell us how fast malachite dissolves in various types of water just don鈥檛 exist because nobody鈥檚 ever needed to know before. So we鈥檇 better assume it鈥檚 going to happen reasonably quickly, #for safety.鈥 So in best scientific fashion, we鈥檙e just going to bullshit our way ahead using what facts we DO have on hand: endpoint equlibria.聽鈥 Is there any info out there telling us what equilibrium concentration of Cu++ we get in salty acidic water at body temperature? Almost! One J.F. Scaife published some great data on this back in 1957. TAKE IT AWAY, SCAIFE.聽 That orange box is how many moles of dissolved Cu++ Scaife got from sticking malachite in some water that had 0.171 moles NaCl/L (body salinity is about 0.154 moles NaCl/L so this is slightly less salty than people) at 30掳C. He鈥檚 got no acidity in there, and again the salinity and temperature are slightly lower than people. But this is probably the closest we鈥檙e going to get to data on how malachite behaves in vaginas anytime soon, folks. From this we can take away that if you leave malachite alone in a vagina you鈥檒l get AT LEAST 9.12 x 10^-4 moles/L, or 5.8 ppm, of Cu++ at equilibrium.聽鈥 Recall from above that most聽鈥渕alachite鈥 isn鈥檛 actually pure malachite, it鈥檚 a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. The EPA document elaborates:聽鈥淸T]raditional 鈥榚yeball鈥 identification of malachite by its blue-green color is extremely unreliable, because almost all cupric hydroxysulfates, hydroxycarbonates, hydroxychlorides, and even fresh cupric hydroxide can be some shade of blue-green. 鈥β燭hus, the uncertainty in the computed copper concentration in equilibrium with malachite is at least about a factor of 2 鈥 until further experimental data focusing on this problem is generated.鈥 In other words,聽鈥渄o your math and then double how much Cu++ you think is going to be in the water, just in case.鈥 So that gives us 11.6ppm Cu++, at equilibrium, with malachite in a (til now!) healthy vagina.聽鈥 Next step: do we have any idea what happens to bacteria in acid conditions with copper? OH MY GOD WE TOTALLY DO. Gyawali et al 2011 checked this out in the context of聽鈥渟o what if we rinsed tomatoes with a solution of lactic acid and copper, because that would be a safe & organic way to get rid of E. coli?鈥 So now this post has officially ruined stalactites, vaginas, and tomatoes. ^This would happen. These are the counts of 4 E. coli strains exposed to various levels of lactic acid & Cu++ for 8 hours. This table only shows the end counts but it represents the death of 99.7% of bacteria*. 鈥 Losing 99.7% of your vaginal flora is seriously bad news. You鈥檙e looking at really good odds of a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and/or other infection issues. And that鈥檚 if you鈥檙e lucky enough to not be in the 4% of the population or so that鈥檚 sensitive to skin contact with copper.聽鈥 The good news? Biochemically speaking, you鈥檙e probably ok to put it in your butt. It鈥檚 not as acidic or salty in there, plus there鈥檚 a huuuuuge stockpile of gut microbes right upstream that can quickly repopulate the colon after spelunking is complete. However this stalactite is not flared at the base so it is the wrong shape for putting in your butt. Do not put this stalactite in your butt.聽鈥 This all looks like fun and games, but I think it鈥檚 really interesting that the internet鈥檚 mistake in concluding that this stalactite is fuckable is very similar to the mistake made by the Flint water management system. Hear me out.聽鈥 Central to the Flint lead poisoning crisis is that authorities only looked at & tested Flint鈥檚 water in its central treatment plant before it went out through the pipes. Not after it went through the pipes. They did not consider what would happen biochemically as it went through the pipes and metals started dissolving.聽鈥 Similarly, in concluding that the stalactite is fuckable, the internet only considered the stalactite itself. Not the biochemical processes that would happen to it as it, welp, went through the pipes.聽鈥 Media frequently reports that the Flint River鈥檚 water is聽鈥渃orrosive,鈥 leading many to believe the river is full of industrial waste. This ain鈥檛 the case. You鈥檇 need industry to fill a river with industrial waste, and industry left decades ago. That鈥檚 why Flint鈥檚 so poor. So what IS in the water? Road salt. Plain old stupid road salt. The old Detroit-based source didn鈥檛 have salt because it came from Lake Huron which has a large, mostly rural watershed. Meanwhile the Flint River runs through a lot of towns, making it slightly salty as everything melts down in spring. And as we recall from the stalactite experience, a little salt is all it takes to get metals to dissolve.聽鈥⒙營nformation on this engineering problem was not coming through clearly from the engineering or chemistry sides. It took a biologist, pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha, to document the real-time results and provide the data to kick-start a high-level investigation.聽鈥 Morals of the story: when dealing with a biological system pls consider asking a biologist, your vagina and/or city could depend on this鈥 Pls use a condom when fucking any water-soluble material鈥 Still don鈥檛 put the stalactite in your butt -3/10 do not recommend OK, I haven鈥檛 reblogged this before now but the final post takes it to a whole new level and I can no longer resist.聽 fine, this is the Best Tumblr Post What a wild fucking ride. I LOVE YOU SCIENCE TUMBLR IT GOT BETTER!!!! Ahem. @buzzfeed things have gotten (even) more interesting on the malachite fucking front. tumblr is an incredible social networking website
Sprays: buzzfeed:

laughterkey:

wonderali:

alltangledupinblue:

teaandcathair:

brofisting:

astolat:

badscienceshenanigans:

0hcicero:

beautifulchaos-anumcara:

buzzfeed:

adulthoodisokay:

adulthoodisokay:

aimee-b-loved:

bijoux-et-mineraux:

reclusiveandelusive:

tsreckoah:

naughtylittledragon:

nassadii:

tsreckoah:

thepioden:

vulcanology-geology:

mollisaurus:

lizaleigh:

zdravomilla:

brambledboneyards:

xekstrin:

bijoux-et-mineraux:

Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo

*looks around*
Is
Is anyone gonna say it

malachite is a poisonous mineral.  please do not fuck the malachite stalactite

@lizaleigh聽do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don鈥檛 feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.

鈥adly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: 鈥淓XPLAIN.鈥滱lthough I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person.  Thoughts?

oh geeze, i鈥檓 kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?

It鈥檚 really only a problem if you鈥檙e polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It鈥檚 rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway鈥 Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.

I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.
So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.

Oh my god guys it鈥檚 poisonous
It is super poisonous
There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more
Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock




Try this one instead.聽

malachite literally explodes in water does it not?

I鈥 no鈥 I think you鈥檙e thinking of pure sodium?
Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker

This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you鈥檙e getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You鈥檙e also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock

I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on聽 being you. 

I鈥檓 still not sure if I can fuck this rock.

I鈥檓 looking into it.

UPDATE:

Today in 鈥淚鈥檓 so sorry, coworkers, it鈥檚 for Tumblr,鈥 I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the question聽鈥淐an you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?鈥 
The answer is 鈥淚t鈥檚 probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.鈥 

Oh man this got so much better than the last time I saw this post

This is my favourite. Science side of tumblr: asking the REAL questions

*biologist crashes through the underbrush*Ok so here鈥檚 the thing thoughMalachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days.Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, 鈥楥AUSE HERE THEY ARE.鈥 Malachite is not copper oxide. It鈥檚聽Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates it鈥檚 water soluble鈥 that鈥檚 how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk of聽鈥渕alachite鈥 isn鈥檛 just malachite鈥 it鈥檚 a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later.聽鈥 When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungi鈥 so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organisms聽that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture).聽So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++.鈥 Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in water鈥 but vaginal secretions aren鈥檛 just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. It鈥檚 also warmer than your average underground cave at 37掳C (or 98.5掳F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster.聽鈥 In other words, the human vagina聽dissolves malachite.聽鈥 I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is.聽鈥 Gonna to take a quick moment to point out that sex toys that dissolve when you use them are maybe not the best investment.聽鈥 Anyway the key question now is聽鈥渉ow fast does the human vagina dissolve malachite?鈥 Are we talking geological timescale, a Nazis-in-Indiana-Jones situation, or something in between? If the reaction kinetics of dissolution are very slow, then there鈥檚 nothing to worry about. An encounter with a stalactite would have to last years for enough Cu++ to leach out to cause problems. If it鈥檚 quick then we鈥檙e in trouble.聽鈥 Unfortunately it looks like nobody really knows. One of the best sources on how malachite dissolves & precipitates in water鈥 an EPA document on how to avoid too much Cu++ in municipal drinking water systems鈥 helpfully says聽鈥淭he kinetic constraints on the formation of these solids in water systems are largely unexplored鈥 (p. 42) because end equilibrium points is all you need to run a city water system safely. In other words, the experiments that would tell us how fast malachite dissolves in various types of water just don鈥檛 exist because nobody鈥檚 ever needed to know before. So we鈥檇 better assume it鈥檚 going to happen reasonably quickly, #for safety.鈥 So in best scientific fashion, we鈥檙e just going to bullshit our way ahead using what facts we DO have on hand: endpoint equlibria.聽鈥 Is there any info out there telling us what equilibrium concentration of Cu++ we get in salty acidic water at body temperature? Almost! One J.F. Scaife published some great data on this back in 1957. TAKE IT AWAY, SCAIFE.聽
That orange box is how many moles of dissolved Cu++ Scaife got from sticking malachite in some water that had 0.171 moles NaCl/L (body salinity is about 0.154 moles NaCl/L so this is slightly less salty than people) at 30掳C. He鈥檚 got no acidity in there, and again the salinity and temperature are slightly lower than people. But this is probably the closest we鈥檙e going to get to data on how malachite behaves in vaginas anytime soon, folks. From this we can take away that if you leave malachite alone in a vagina you鈥檒l get AT LEAST 9.12 x 10^-4 moles/L, or 5.8 ppm, of Cu++ at equilibrium.聽鈥 Recall from above that most聽鈥渕alachite鈥 isn鈥檛 actually pure malachite, it鈥檚 a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. The EPA document elaborates:聽鈥淸T]raditional 鈥榚yeball鈥 identification of malachite by its blue-green color is extremely
unreliable, because almost all cupric hydroxysulfates, hydroxycarbonates, hydroxychlorides,
and even fresh cupric hydroxide can be some shade of blue-green. 鈥β燭hus, the uncertainty in the computed copper
concentration in equilibrium with malachite is at least about a factor of 2 鈥 until further experimental data focusing on this problem is generated.鈥 In other words,聽鈥渄o your math and then double how much Cu++ you think is going to be in the water, just in case.鈥 So that gives us 11.6ppm Cu++, at equilibrium, with malachite in a (til now!) healthy vagina.聽鈥 Next step: do we have any idea what happens to bacteria in acid conditions with copper? OH MY GOD WE TOTALLY DO. Gyawali et al 2011 checked this out in the context of聽鈥渟o what if we rinsed tomatoes with a solution of lactic acid and copper, because that would be a safe & organic way to get rid of E. coli?鈥 So now this post has officially ruined stalactites, vaginas, and tomatoes.
^This would happen. These are the counts of 4 E. coli strains exposed to various levels of lactic acid & Cu++ for 8 hours. This table only shows the end counts but it represents the death of 99.7% of bacteria*. 鈥 Losing 99.7% of your vaginal flora is seriously bad news. You鈥檙e looking at really good odds of a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and/or other infection issues. And that鈥檚 if you鈥檙e lucky enough to not be in the 4% of the population or so that鈥檚 sensitive to skin contact with copper.聽鈥 The good news? Biochemically speaking, you鈥檙e probably ok to put it in your butt. It鈥檚 not as acidic or salty in there, plus there鈥檚 a huuuuuge stockpile of gut microbes right upstream that can quickly repopulate the colon after spelunking is complete. However this stalactite is not flared at the base so it is the wrong shape for putting in your butt. Do not put this stalactite in your butt.聽鈥 This all looks like fun and games, but I think it鈥檚 really interesting that the internet鈥檚 mistake in concluding that this stalactite is fuckable is very similar to the mistake made by the Flint water management system. Hear me out.聽鈥 Central to the Flint lead poisoning crisis is that authorities only looked at & tested Flint鈥檚 water in its central treatment plant before it went out through the pipes. Not after it went through the pipes. They did not consider what would happen biochemically as it went through the pipes and metals started dissolving.聽鈥 Similarly, in concluding that the stalactite is fuckable, the internet only considered the stalactite itself. Not the biochemical processes that would happen to it as it, welp, went through the pipes.聽鈥 Media frequently reports that the Flint River鈥檚 water is聽鈥渃orrosive,鈥 leading many to believe the river is full of industrial waste. This ain鈥檛 the case. You鈥檇 need industry to fill a river with industrial waste, and industry left decades ago. That鈥檚 why Flint鈥檚 so poor. So what IS in the water? Road salt. Plain old stupid road salt. The old Detroit-based source didn鈥檛 have salt because it came from Lake Huron which has a large, mostly rural watershed. Meanwhile the Flint River runs through a lot of towns, making it slightly salty as everything melts down in spring. And as we recall from the stalactite experience, a little salt is all it takes to get metals to dissolve.聽鈥⒙營nformation on this engineering problem was not coming through clearly from the engineering or chemistry sides. It took a biologist, pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha, to document the real-time results and provide the data to kick-start a high-level investigation.聽鈥 Morals of the story: when dealing with a biological system pls consider asking a biologist, your vagina and/or city could depend on this鈥 Pls use a condom when fucking any water-soluble material鈥 Still don鈥檛 put the stalactite in your butt -3/10 do not recommend

OK, I haven鈥檛 reblogged this before now but the final post takes it to a whole new level and I can no longer resist.聽

fine, this is the Best Tumblr Post

What a wild fucking ride.

I LOVE YOU SCIENCE TUMBLR

IT GOT BETTER!!!!

Ahem. @buzzfeed things have gotten (even) more interesting on the malachite fucking front.


tumblr is an incredible social networking website

buzzfeed: laughterkey: wonderali: alltangledupinblue: teaandcathair: brofisting: astolat: badscienceshenanigans: 0hcicero: beaut...

Sprays: ATTACKER STAINED FOR UPTO 7 DAYS IMPACT 2-3 SECONDS orocarni-mountains: particlecollisions: particlecollisions: Self defence sprays that are legal to carry and use in the United Kingdom Image 1: FarbgelImage 2: StoppaRed I鈥檝e seen a lot of people (mostly women, for reasons which may be obvious) speaking about being worried when going out, be it alone or even with friends, both in the day and at night. I know that a lot of female friends of mine carry around a can of antiperspirant or a pot of pepper to use if they鈥檙e ever attacked. What I know a lot of people don鈥檛 realise is that there are products out there which work in a violent situation and help in catching the assailant for the best part of a week afterwards. Known as 鈥榗riminal identifiers鈥, these sprays are brightly coloured dyes which can be sprayed in the face of an attacker. Unlike things such as CS or Pepper sprays, criminal identifier sprays are legal in the UK. There鈥檚 a few available on the market, with聽farbgel聽and Mace鈥檚聽Stoppared聽being the mostly highly recommended. What these sprays do is release a sticky, brightly coloured dye. It鈥檚 difficult to wipe away and stains the skin a bright red colour. No matter how hard an attacker might try to remove it from their skin and clothing, the staining typically lasts for around a week and doesn鈥檛 even start to fade until after a few days have passed. Unlike CS and Pepper sprays (which, again,聽aren鈥檛聽legal in the UK) criminal identifier sprays don鈥檛 cause irritation or pain to an attacker. Instead, they expand and clog up the area sprayed with a kind of sticky foam that鈥檚 difficult to wipe away. It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon鈥檚 arse to the police. Each can of the sprays costs around 拢10 each, though it may be cheaper when buying multiple canisters and if you shop around. FarbGel聽 StoppaRed UV Personal Attack Self-Defence Spray by Mace This is an original post, but I鈥檝e released it into the public domain. It can be shared, altered, reposted in whole or in part with no need for attribution (though obviously I would appreciate it!) cc @misandry-mermaid It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon鈥檚 arse to the police. That鈥檚 brilliant
Sprays: ATTACKER STAINED
 FOR UPTO 7 DAYS
 IMPACT
 2-3 SECONDS
orocarni-mountains:

particlecollisions:

particlecollisions:

Self defence sprays that are legal to carry and use in the United Kingdom
Image 1: FarbgelImage 2: StoppaRed
I鈥檝e seen a lot of people (mostly women, for reasons which may be obvious) speaking about being worried when going out, be it alone or even with friends, both in the day and at night. I know that a lot of female friends of mine carry around a can of antiperspirant or a pot of pepper to use if they鈥檙e ever attacked. What I know a lot of people don鈥檛 realise is that there are products out there which work in a violent situation and help in catching the assailant for the best part of a week afterwards.
Known as 鈥榗riminal identifiers鈥, these sprays are brightly coloured dyes which can be sprayed in the face of an attacker. Unlike things such as CS or Pepper sprays, criminal identifier sprays are legal in the UK.
There鈥檚 a few available on the market, with聽farbgel聽and Mace鈥檚聽Stoppared聽being the mostly highly recommended.
What these sprays do is release a sticky, brightly coloured dye. It鈥檚 difficult to wipe away and stains the skin a bright red colour. No matter how hard an attacker might try to remove it from their skin and clothing, the staining typically lasts for around a week and doesn鈥檛 even start to fade until after a few days have passed.
Unlike CS and Pepper sprays (which, again,聽aren鈥檛聽legal in the UK) criminal identifier sprays don鈥檛 cause irritation or pain to an attacker. Instead, they expand and clog up the area sprayed with a kind of sticky foam that鈥檚 difficult to wipe away. It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon鈥檚 arse to the police.
Each can of the sprays costs around 拢10 each, though it may be cheaper when buying multiple canisters and if you shop around.
FarbGel聽
StoppaRed UV Personal Attack Self-Defence Spray by Mace
This is an original post, but I鈥檝e released it into the public domain. It can be shared, altered, reposted in whole or in part with no need for attribution (though obviously I would appreciate it!)

cc @misandry-mermaid

It should give you enough time to escape and report someone whose face resembles a baboon鈥檚 arse to the police.
That鈥檚 brilliant

orocarni-mountains: particlecollisions: particlecollisions: Self defence sprays that are legal to carry and use in the United Kingdom...