Sonned
Sonned

Sonned

Big Up
Big Up

Big Up

Bigly
Bigly

Bigly

Told
Told

Told

I Have
I Have

I Have

From
From

From

Daughters
Daughters

Daughters

Todays
Todays

Todays

My Son
My Son

My Son

When I Was
When I Was

When I Was

🔥 | Latest

Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this
Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti
 Follow
 eKeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of lawyer commercials and then asked it
 to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
 Here is the first page
 LAWYER COMMERCIAL
 INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
 A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books
 are
 very wide. They have eaten too many words
 LAWYER
 Have you been hurt in an accidental
 car? Has the government sold your
 lungs without asking nicely? Are
 you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
 The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
 justice fruit only lawyers may touch
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 If so, you can act entitled for
 money. I'l help. I graduated from
 lawn school and all my teachers
 were bitten by dogs
 Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
 lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0
 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 I have been a lawyer for over 35
 weekends and I'm currently dating
 the Bill of Rights for fun.
 We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1
 break its heart. There's nothing we can do.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 Let me use it to send your asbestos
 to court. I will wear two suits and
 I promise to steal the judge's
 gavel for you
 The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of
 gavels pour out. His promise has worth
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 My clients never go to jail town
 We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado
 LAWYER (CONT 'D)
 Remember, you don't pay any money
 unless you pay us money. Call for a
 free use of phone
 The phone digits appear. It's your social security number
A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

Bad, Confused, and Family: bloodytales Teach boys about periods My mother also talked about periods to my brothers. When I first got mine I had terrible cramps. Crippling cramps. I once was camping with my family and a few of my big brother's friends when my period came. My cramps were so bad that my mom gave me a full pain killer (1 was 13 and before that she only gave me pills cut in half) T iterally laid down on my parents' air mattress and cried in pain for an hour before the pill kicked in. My brothers friend came in to the big tent and I was just curled up and sobbing. Now, I was quite the tomboy and was known to rough house with my brothers and their friends and made sure I wasnt seen as just "a little girl." So my brother's friend was confused to see me openly weeping in the fetal position (seriously, these were the worst cramps I have had in my life. My vision went white). He asked what was wrong with me. My big brother stood up immediately and suggested a nice long hike. During this hike I am sure he had a pretty awkward conversation with his friend explaining menstrual cramps, because when they got back the pain pill had (mostly) kicked in and I was sitting up at a table when my brother's friend sheepishly asked me if I was feeling better. I said I was better, and he said good. When we made s'mores that night my brother and his friend kept me well supplied with chocolate. Making sure sons know as much about periods and menstruation as daughters makes them better brothers, better sons better fathers, and better men. A man that understands a period will not lightly accuse a woman of "being on her period" if the woman is in an argument. Raise better sons Teach them about normal bodily functions Teach boys about periods via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Z0YocM
Bad, Confused, and Family: bloodytales
 Teach boys about periods
 My mother also talked about periods to my brothers.
 When I first got mine I had terrible cramps. Crippling cramps. I once
 was camping with my family and a few of my big brother's friends
 when my period came. My cramps were so bad that my mom gave
 me a full pain killer (1 was 13 and before that she only gave me pills
 cut in half)
 T iterally laid down on my parents' air mattress and cried in pain for
 an hour before the pill kicked in.
 My brothers friend came in to the big tent and I was just curled up
 and sobbing. Now, I was quite the tomboy and was known to rough
 house with my brothers and their friends and made sure I wasnt seen
 as just "a little girl." So my brother's friend was confused to see me
 openly weeping in the fetal position (seriously, these were the worst
 cramps I have had in my life. My vision went white). He asked what
 was wrong with me.
 My big brother stood up immediately and suggested a nice long hike.
 During this hike I am sure he had a pretty awkward conversation with
 his friend explaining menstrual cramps, because when they got back
 the pain pill had (mostly) kicked in and I was sitting up at a table
 when my brother's friend sheepishly asked me if I was feeling better. I
 said I was better, and he said good.
 When we made s'mores that night my brother and his friend kept me
 well supplied with chocolate.
 Making sure sons know as much about periods and menstruation as
 daughters makes them better brothers, better sons better fathers,
 and better men. A man that understands a period will not lightly
 accuse a woman of "being on her period" if the woman is in an
 argument.
 Raise better sons Teach them about normal
 bodily functions
Teach boys about periods via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Z0YocM

Teach boys about periods via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Z0YocM

Dad, Facebook, and Fucking: Julia @ghoulia Follow a guy on my facebook posted something slightly stupid & his mom went OFFFFFFFFF What it takes to be an attractive... Man Woman -be ripped -have stable job -be ripped -have money -be clean dress well -smell good -be dad material -pay for dates -be confident -have nice hair -Dont be too fat Meninist on Tuesday welp I am so ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW TAKE THIS DOWN. This is going to be a conversation. You think this is true? You are selfish enough and diluted enough to believe this garbage? 3 hours ago . Unlike-山1 . Reply By these standards SON I guess I'm unattractive and don't to a fucking thing for you! Oh you and I have a goddamn lunch date. 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply I wouldn't worry about any other girls response here. Mine should enlighten you. And I've screen shot this for our further viewing pleasure and future learning tool. 3 hours ago . Unlike . 1 . Reply I'm so glad I screen shot this very every girl you ever try to bring home. For your wedding day...this...this will be brought up FOREVER. 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Yup. what mood 3 hours ago Like Reply look has set I'm sure your future pregnant wife will feel.your love when YPU MAKE HER UNATTRACTIVE through pregnancy. You twit. Open mouth allow shit to fal out. Anyone who liked this better unlik it like real fast. How do you like being single forever because your a DOUCHE CANOE? 3 hours ago Unlike 2 Reply Oh don't like me spamming your wall? Don't post horse shit calling me unattractive! Like f I'm not going to defend myself! 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Simlle More Your proctologist called he found your head 2 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Smile More Write a comment... OS dr-gloom: neshtasplace: author-trash: inquisitorhotpants: thugilly: micdotcom: And mom of the year goes to … This is actually amazing because anytime I see a man being sexist or misogynistic, I wonder where his mother is. “your proctologist called, he found your head” lmaooooooo She went off on him I’m dead She gave him life, then saw fit to take it away. this is how moms should respond to their sons being pricks, not awkward socially-obligated laughter or silent smiles Fatality
Dad, Facebook, and Fucking: Julia
 @ghoulia
 Follow
 a guy on my facebook posted something slightly
 stupid & his mom went OFFFFFFFFF

 What it takes to be an attractive...
 Man
 Woman
 -be ripped
 -have stable job
 -be ripped
 -have money
 -be clean
 dress well
 -smell good
 -be dad material
 -pay for dates
 -be confident
 -have nice hair
 -Dont be too fat
 Meninist
 on Tuesday
 welp

 I am so ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW
 TAKE THIS DOWN. This
 is going to be a conversation. You
 think this is true? You are selfish
 enough and diluted enough to believe
 this garbage?
 3 hours ago . Unlike-山1 . Reply
 By these standards SON I guess I'm
 unattractive and don't to a fucking
 thing for you! Oh you and I have a
 goddamn lunch date.
 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply
 I wouldn't worry about any other girls
 response here. Mine should enlighten
 you. And I've screen shot this for our
 further viewing pleasure and future
 learning tool.
 3 hours ago . Unlike . 1 . Reply

 I'm so glad I screen shot this very
 every girl you ever try to bring home.
 For your wedding day...this...this will
 be brought up FOREVER.
 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply
 Yup.
 what mood
 3 hours ago Like Reply
 look
 has set
 I'm sure your future pregnant wife will
 feel.your love when YPU MAKE HER
 UNATTRACTIVE through pregnancy.
 You twit. Open mouth allow shit to fal
 out. Anyone who liked this better
 unlik it like real fast. How do you like
 being single forever because your a
 DOUCHE CANOE?
 3 hours ago Unlike 2 Reply

 Oh don't like me spamming your wall?
 Don't post horse shit calling me
 unattractive! Like f I'm not going to
 defend myself!
 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply
 Simlle More
 Your proctologist called he found
 your head
 2 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply
 Smile More
 Write a comment...
 OS
dr-gloom:

neshtasplace:

author-trash:

inquisitorhotpants:

thugilly:

micdotcom:

And mom of the year goes to …

This is actually amazing because anytime I see a man being sexist or misogynistic, I wonder where his mother is.

“your proctologist called, he found your head” lmaooooooo


She went off on him I’m dead 

She gave him life, then saw fit to take it away. 

this is how moms should respond to their sons being pricks, not awkward socially-obligated laughter or silent smiles

Fatality

dr-gloom: neshtasplace: author-trash: inquisitorhotpants: thugilly: micdotcom: And mom of the year goes to … This is actually amazing...