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🔥 | Latest

Creepy, Gif, and Lesbians: So, I know it's a standard Tinder question but I have to ask-are you a serial killer, and if so do you have reason for it? Only a serial killer would ask if serial killer. was Wednesday 8:28 PM Naw, I wouldn't be able to handle the hours. Unless you were looking for a colleague serial killer to bond with... I was going to say the latter but Wednesday 9:13 PM Hypotheticals it is then. If I you were a serial killer, what would be your M.O.? That you are a man. I'd want to be a siren. Ooooh, I like it, somehow you made that not creepy. I am impressed. Do Sirens work on lesbians as well? Aw damn. I have failed. Ummm, no. Idk. Maybe? Wednesday 9:44 PM This sounds like a slightly problematic writting prompt in a freshman creative writting class. You can still kill me if you want, especially the straight white kind. They are pretty underrepresented in the serial killer victim market That is the sweetest thing a complete stranger has ever said to me Ya, just put some sad music in your playlist...or set... or whatever sirens do. Haaa okay So on a scale of 1-5 how would you rate my creepiness? Wednesday 10:33 PM Either O or 10. I cant read non-verbal in text conversations. On a scale of 1-5. I am 98% enjoying the banter, but 1.5% of me is irrationally scared that I just invited you to murder me Wednesday 11:04 PM Do you think this conversation would hold up in court? No, but hopefully it will hold up on reddit Lol... Let me know what sub you decide to post this on I'm pretty sure if it gets enough Karma, it becomes a legal document and will hold up in court. Fingers crossed Type a message... GIF In the untimely event of my death…start here
Creepy, Gif, and Lesbians: So, I know it's a standard Tinder
 question but I have to ask-are
 you a serial killer, and if so do
 you have reason for it?
 Only a serial killer would ask if
 serial killer.
 was
 Wednesday 8:28 PM
 Naw, I wouldn't be able to
 handle the hours.
 Unless you were looking for a
 colleague serial killer to bond
 with...
 I was going to say the latter but
 Wednesday 9:13 PM
 Hypotheticals it is then. If I you
 were a serial killer, what would
 be your M.O.?
 That you are a man. I'd want to
 be a siren.
 Ooooh, I like it, somehow you
 made that not creepy. I am
 impressed.
 Do Sirens work on lesbians as
 well?
 Aw damn. I have failed.
 Ummm, no.
 Idk.
 Maybe?
 Wednesday 9:44 PM
 This sounds like a slightly
 problematic writting prompt in a
 freshman creative writting class.
 You can still kill me if you
 want, especially the straight
 white kind. They are pretty
 underrepresented in the serial
 killer victim market
 That is the sweetest thing a
 complete stranger has ever
 said to me
 Ya, just put some sad music
 in your playlist...or set... or
 whatever sirens do.
 Haaa okay
 So on a scale of 1-5 how would
 you rate my creepiness?
 Wednesday 10:33 PM
 Either O or 10. I cant read
 non-verbal in text conversations.
 On a scale of 1-5.
 I am 98% enjoying the banter,
 but 1.5% of me is irrationally
 scared that I just invited you to
 murder me
 Wednesday 11:04 PM
 Do you think this conversation
 would hold up in court?
 No, but hopefully it will hold up
 on reddit
 Lol... Let me know what sub
 you decide to post this on
 I'm pretty sure if it gets enough
 Karma, it becomes a legal
 document and will hold up in
 court.
 Fingers crossed
 Type a message...
 GIF
In the untimely event of my death…start here

In the untimely event of my death…start here

Click, Fail, and Fucking: 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away irrevocably-delicious Irrevocably-delicious @india draws Anyone who's worked in retail has probably participated in this thing I call "circle talk" and it is by far one the most exhausting and irritating parts of my job. 12-05 PM Jan 19, 2019- Twitter Web App Circle talk is when a customer asks you a question, but when you answer it, they continue to stare at you blankly. So you repeat your answer over and over, slightly rephrasing it until it permeates their brain. "How big does this cactus grow?" "It'll get quite large, but it's very slow growing, so you won't see much of a difference until almost 10 years" "Oh my wife has one that's like half metre" "Yes that must be quite old" "So they can get that big?" "Yes but not for a long time" "about 10 years?" "YES" 12:05 PM Jan 19, 2019 Twitter Web App he Cackes Grows slo Oh right& he Cockuss slow growino The Slow growing Cachs Small Cactsou will not grouw og quich Some retail complaints from twitter this morning. I don't think anyone can fully comprehend how stupid humans are until they work a retail or hospitality job. starfire003 I'd like to add on the people who ask a question, get an answer they don't like and ask the same question in a different way to get the response they want. corisanna I get stuff like this often enough at work, but that last one? There is one customer we have that does that so frequently and for so long (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY MINUTES of trying to get the answer she wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she isn't present. Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and try it again with the same employees the next day greatfay Me: "For the drink, it's [x amount]) Customer: "I saw a sign that I get a free drink?" Me: "For signing up for our rewards program, yes:" Customer: "Oh... I don't have one of those Me: "Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :) Customer: "Eh don't want to sign up" Me: " " Customer: "I hate getting all those emails" Me: "Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how:) Customer: "No thanks, I don't want an account" Me: "Okay... well the drink will be [x amount]: Customer: "I thought it was free?" Me: ")" Me: "It's free if you sign up for our rewards program:)" Customer: "I don't want to sign up" Me: "Then the drink isn't free :)" Customer: "You can't just give me the drink?" Me: "No, I can't unfortunately:) Customer: "Why not? It's only [x amount] Me: "if that's not a lot of money to you, why don't you just pay for it? : Customer: "This is shit customer service" Me: ")" Customer: "This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself-" Me: "I don't control the prices, I'm just a cashier:) Customer: "-making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it's not even a large- Me: "That's not my decision, I'm just a cashier:) Customer:"-and you bet I won't be coming back here again Me: "How unfortunate :)" thekeybladeninja I can feel the) deep in my soul 74,441 notes Click to see full Sarcasm Goal 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes
Click, Fail, and Fucking: 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away
 irrevocably-delicious
 Irrevocably-delicious
 @india draws
 Anyone who's worked in retail has
 probably participated in this thing I
 call "circle talk" and it is by far one
 the most exhausting and irritating
 parts of my job.
 12-05 PM Jan 19, 2019- Twitter Web App
 Circle talk is when a customer asks
 you a question, but when you answer
 it, they continue to stare at you
 blankly. So you repeat your answer
 over and over, slightly rephrasing it
 until it permeates their brain.
 "How big does this cactus grow?"
 "It'll get quite large, but it's very slow
 growing, so you won't see much of a
 difference until almost 10 years"
 "Oh my wife has one that's like half
 metre"
 "Yes that must be quite old"
 "So they can get that big?"
 "Yes but not for a long time"
 "about 10 years?"
 "YES"
 12:05 PM Jan 19, 2019 Twitter Web App
 he Cackes Grows slo
 Oh right& he Cockuss slow
 growino
 The Slow growing Cachs
 Small Cactsou
 will not grouw og quich
 Some retail complaints from twitter this
 morning. I don't think anyone can fully
 comprehend how stupid humans are until they
 work a retail or hospitality job.
 starfire003
 I'd like to add on the people who ask a question,
 get an answer they don't like and ask the same
 question in a different way to get the response
 they want.
 corisanna
 I get stuff like this often enough at work, but
 that last one? There is one customer we have
 that does that so frequently and for so long
 (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY
 MINUTES of trying to get the answer she
 wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she
 isn't present.
 Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and
 try it again with the same employees the next
 day
 greatfay
 Me: "For the drink, it's [x amount])
 Customer: "I saw a sign that I get a free drink?"
 Me: "For signing up for our rewards program,
 yes:"
 Customer: "Oh... I don't have one of those
 Me: "Well if you sign up, you can get the free
 drink! :)
 Customer: "Eh don't want to sign up"
 Me: " "
 Customer: "I hate getting all those emails"
 Me: "Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can
 show you how:)
 Customer: "No thanks, I don't want an
 account"
 Me: "Okay... well the drink will be [x amount]:
 Customer: "I thought it was free?"
 Me: ")"
 Me: "It's free if you sign up for our rewards
 program:)"
 Customer: "I don't want to sign up"
 Me: "Then the drink isn't free :)"
 Customer: "You can't just give me the drink?"
 Me: "No, I can't unfortunately:)
 Customer: "Why not? It's only [x amount]
 Me: "if that's not a lot of money to you, why
 don't you just pay for it? :
 Customer: "This is shit customer service"
 Me: ")"
 Customer: "This is highway robbery, squeezing
 every dime out of people, you should be
 ashamed of yourself-"
 Me: "I don't control the prices, I'm just a
 cashier:)
 Customer: "-making a fucking fuss over a
 damn drink and it's not even a large-
 Me: "That's not my decision, I'm just a
 cashier:)
 Customer:"-and you bet I won't be coming
 back here again
 Me: "How unfortunate :)"
 thekeybladeninja
 I can feel the) deep in my soul
 74,441 notes
 Click to see full
 Sarcasm Goal
22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes

22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes

CoCo, Fuck You, and Gif: Blank Today at 11:11 AM what the actual fuck Windows 10 377 KB o Chazzie Today at 11:12 AM 2 Logan Sanders Today at 11:12 AM hxwko: aroace-from-space: greetings-fiends: spookyboiskully: hextalker: loopof-unhappiness: crows-in-the-sunset: rustybutterknife: cyan-magical-girl: thathighclassbitch: trans-bundle-bun: tryingmy-hardest: skinny-yoongi: alifeuncolored: imstillnotokay: yourelost-itsokay: thomassandersstolemysoul: weareallfandomtrash: wickedlimes: sporkklesofficialblogthing: midnight–fox: depressed-but-doing-my-best: youreverydayinternethobo: im-god-now-fight-me: i-think-im-bi-help: a-slightly-sad-egg: aetherial-incarnate: angel-of-songbirds: thedruidflimbarg: that-one-cryptid-01: once-upon-a-fuck-you: theepitomeofamess: fandom-random2405: spookussie: anxiety-has-anxiety: itsthemoooooooooon: teawithaura: coco-kyoko: 1darkodraco1: ectoimp: plushiegoo: tiny-little-pechen: blasticheart: saferoom45: you-know-thatguy: queennati: mango-sass: doodlindandandani: mickeydagrumpymouse: xincronity: caydebug: micaxiii: shrineart: issac-baldimore: ask-thebaldbo1: asktheawfulschoolhouse: spooky-blue-boi: saltylop: quartelz: gayest-child: alesstra: slushieboy-owo: myfnafstory: minieevee205: underfellgoat: mmtmsansfan: star-rcl: skyler-of-waffles: existenceisanillusion: memelord18: godhatesme-22: softcore-weaboo: shitty-shitposter: bsavaleria: scaredycat-hq: gerdzelinionia: usuallyblank: shrineart: chazkuangshi: :( :( WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS?? :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( ;( :( :( :( :( The Hell is this bullshit >:T its just a computer crashing get over it :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(  : ( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
CoCo, Fuck You, and Gif: Blank
 Today at 11:11 AM
 what the actual fuck Windows 10
 377 KB
 o Chazzie
 Today at 11:12 AM
 2
 Logan Sanders
 Today at 11:12 AM
hxwko:

aroace-from-space:
greetings-fiends:

spookyboiskully:


hextalker:


loopof-unhappiness:

crows-in-the-sunset:

rustybutterknife:


cyan-magical-girl:


thathighclassbitch:

trans-bundle-bun:


tryingmy-hardest:


skinny-yoongi:


alifeuncolored:


imstillnotokay:


yourelost-itsokay:


thomassandersstolemysoul:


weareallfandomtrash:


wickedlimes:

sporkklesofficialblogthing:


midnight–fox:

depressed-but-doing-my-best:


youreverydayinternethobo:


im-god-now-fight-me:


i-think-im-bi-help:

a-slightly-sad-egg:


aetherial-incarnate:


angel-of-songbirds:

thedruidflimbarg:


that-one-cryptid-01:


once-upon-a-fuck-you:


theepitomeofamess:

fandom-random2405:


spookussie:


anxiety-has-anxiety:

itsthemoooooooooon:


teawithaura:

coco-kyoko:


1darkodraco1:

ectoimp:


plushiegoo:

tiny-little-pechen:

blasticheart:


saferoom45:


you-know-thatguy:

queennati:

mango-sass:


doodlindandandani:


mickeydagrumpymouse:

xincronity:


caydebug:


micaxiii:


shrineart:

issac-baldimore:

ask-thebaldbo1:

asktheawfulschoolhouse:

spooky-blue-boi:

saltylop:


quartelz:


gayest-child:


alesstra:

slushieboy-owo:

myfnafstory:


minieevee205:


underfellgoat:


mmtmsansfan:

star-rcl:


skyler-of-waffles:


existenceisanillusion:


memelord18:


godhatesme-22:


softcore-weaboo:


shitty-shitposter:


bsavaleria:


scaredycat-hq:


gerdzelinionia:

usuallyblank:

shrineart:

chazkuangshi:
:(
:(

WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS?? :(


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:(


:(


:(


:(


:(


:(


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:(


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;(


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The Hell is this bullshit >:T its just a computer crashing get over it

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hxwko: aroace-from-space: greetings-fiends: spookyboiskully: hextalker: loopof-unhappiness: crows-in-the-sunset: rustybutterknife: ...

Apparently, Definitely, and Family: Me [25F] with my boyfriend [25M] of seven months. He has VERY bizarre opinions and I want help understanding him, and getting him to understand how others see him Relationships submitted 7 hours ago by throwaway47273747483 have been with my boyfriend, Henry, for around 7 months now, and he's an amazing guy etc. I really see this developing into a long and very serious relationship. There are no big problems or red flags. One thing that gets me though, are his political opinions. They are esoteric, somewhat incomprehensible, and frankly, bizarre. He is an ardent monarchist (we are in the UK) but not in the typical use of the word (ie liking the Queen being an impartial head of state), he literally believes in the divine right of kings and that it is the only natural form of government. He claims to recognise no monarch since James ll, and apparently the real legitimate successor is some guy called Francis who I've never heard of, who is also supposedly the rightful king of France and Greece. He never votes, saying he has no desire to assist his monarch in their choice of servants (which is technically how the UK government works, the Queen "chooses" whoever wins the election). He expressed disgust at Prince Harry's recent engagement, I pressed him as to why (I was slightly worried it was racist in nature) and he said both Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton are commoners who have no business marrying royalty, then made some remark about the Royal Family being a "ghastly bunch of arriviste Germans anyway, so I suppose it doesn't matter". It's just strange. It's like his worldview is so odd and so far removed from anything I can even begin to understand. I can name the current major Royals and a few of the more important historical ones, whereas he is an absolute expert. He will passionately debate anyone who wants to, though again it just makes him look strange. Friends at dinner will be discussing normal, contemporary political issues, and he will interject and go on some tangent about how this all relates to "King John's submission to Papal authority in 1213". He does seem to genuinely believe this stuff, but it gives an odd impression to those around us. No one can really reply beecause they don't know what he's talking about so he definitely gets the feeling he's winning these debates (he's far too well-mannered to be rude about it, but it's certainly an unspoken truth in his view) tikkunolamorgtfo: TFW your boyfriend is a 17th Century Catholic vampire who is NOT OVER™ the Glorious Revolution of 1688.
Apparently, Definitely, and Family: Me [25F] with my boyfriend [25M] of seven months. He has VERY bizarre opinions
 and I want help understanding him, and getting him to understand how others see
 him Relationships
 submitted 7 hours ago by throwaway47273747483
 have been with my boyfriend, Henry, for around 7 months now, and he's an amazing guy etc.
 I really see this developing into a long and very serious relationship. There are no big
 problems or red flags.
 One thing that gets me though, are his political opinions. They are esoteric, somewhat
 incomprehensible, and frankly, bizarre. He is an ardent monarchist (we are in the UK) but not
 in the typical use of the word (ie liking the Queen being an impartial head of state), he literally
 believes in the divine right of kings and that it is the only natural form of government. He
 claims to recognise no monarch since James ll, and apparently the real legitimate successor
 is some guy called Francis who I've never heard of, who is also supposedly the rightful king of
 France and Greece. He never votes, saying he has no desire to assist his monarch in their
 choice of servants (which is technically how the UK government works, the Queen "chooses"
 whoever wins the election). He expressed disgust at Prince Harry's recent engagement, I
 pressed him as to why (I was slightly worried it was racist in nature) and he said both Meghan
 Markle and Kate Middleton are commoners who have no business marrying royalty, then made
 some remark about the Royal Family being a "ghastly bunch of arriviste Germans anyway, so I
 suppose it doesn't matter". It's just strange. It's like his worldview is so odd and so far removed
 from anything I can even begin to understand. I can name the current major Royals and a few
 of the more important historical ones, whereas he is an absolute expert.
 He will passionately debate anyone who wants to, though again it just makes him look strange.
 Friends at dinner will be discussing normal, contemporary political issues, and he will interject
 and go on some tangent about how this all relates to "King John's submission to Papal
 authority in 1213". He does seem to genuinely believe this stuff, but it gives an odd impression
 to those around us. No one can really reply beecause they don't know what he's talking about
 so he definitely gets the feeling he's winning these debates (he's far too well-mannered to be
 rude about it, but it's certainly an unspoken truth in his view)
tikkunolamorgtfo:
TFW your boyfriend is a 17th Century Catholic vampire who is NOT OVER™ the Glorious Revolution of 1688.

tikkunolamorgtfo: TFW your boyfriend is a 17th Century Catholic vampire who is NOT OVER™ the Glorious Revolution of 1688.

Birthday, Douchebag, and Dude: dex ORIGINAL NOV Windex the Bean 15 726. 2113 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it NOV 13 726. 2113 Paint Thinner Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They Paint It Black So We Can Windex NOV 13 debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: queen-of-heck: brightoncemore: todayiwrotenothing: gay-jesus-probably: solongstarbird: akamine-chan: phantomofthebookstore: dragonastra: jasperzilla: moose-shampoo: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.  You missed some of the best ones the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean. But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean. How could you forget this one though I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR. someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do? Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for. So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it. Art world is not thrilled with that. Enter Stuart Semple. Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something. Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything. Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink” Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments. Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy. He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide. Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0. So I think we can guess who got the better deal. And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated. …But not quite. Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer. No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi. The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more. Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own. So that’s been the art world for the last two years. Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack. Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday. Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.” ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT! I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page: Two things: 1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post. 2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person. Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor. An older project, but he also did this: (x) oh dude hes metal as fuck  Every addition to this post is better than the last. Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again? Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it. Me: Me: :)
Birthday, Douchebag, and Dude: dex
 ORIGINAL
 NOV
 Windex the Bean
 15

 726.
 2113
 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it
 NOV
 13

 726.
 2113
 Paint
 Thinner
 Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They
 Paint It Black So We Can Windex
 NOV
 13
debthestoner:

rrdcooc:

addakax:

mysticalalleycat:

politicalcdnmama:

theresagooseinthemainframe:

0-memento-mori-0:

justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.


Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god 


It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.


An older project, but he also did this:
(x)

oh dude hes metal as fuck 

Every addition to this post is better than the last.


Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again?
Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it.
Me:
Me: :)

debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: clayda...

Dad, Facebook, and Fucking: Julia @ghoulia Follow a guy on my facebook posted something slightly stupid & his mom went OFFFFFFFFF What it takes to be an attractive... Man Woman -be ripped -have stable job -be ripped -have money -be clean dress well -smell good -be dad material -pay for dates -be confident -have nice hair -Dont be too fat Meninist on Tuesday welp I am so ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW TAKE THIS DOWN. This is going to be a conversation. You think this is true? You are selfish enough and diluted enough to believe this garbage? 3 hours ago . Unlike-山1 . Reply By these standards SON I guess I'm unattractive and don't to a fucking thing for you! Oh you and I have a goddamn lunch date. 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply I wouldn't worry about any other girls response here. Mine should enlighten you. And I've screen shot this for our further viewing pleasure and future learning tool. 3 hours ago . Unlike . 1 . Reply I'm so glad I screen shot this very every girl you ever try to bring home. For your wedding day...this...this will be brought up FOREVER. 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Yup. what mood 3 hours ago Like Reply look has set I'm sure your future pregnant wife will feel.your love when YPU MAKE HER UNATTRACTIVE through pregnancy. You twit. Open mouth allow shit to fal out. Anyone who liked this better unlik it like real fast. How do you like being single forever because your a DOUCHE CANOE? 3 hours ago Unlike 2 Reply Oh don't like me spamming your wall? Don't post horse shit calling me unattractive! Like f I'm not going to defend myself! 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Simlle More Your proctologist called he found your head 2 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply Smile More Write a comment... OS dr-gloom: neshtasplace: author-trash: inquisitorhotpants: thugilly: micdotcom: And mom of the year goes to … This is actually amazing because anytime I see a man being sexist or misogynistic, I wonder where his mother is. “your proctologist called, he found your head” lmaooooooo She went off on him I’m dead She gave him life, then saw fit to take it away. this is how moms should respond to their sons being pricks, not awkward socially-obligated laughter or silent smiles Fatality
Dad, Facebook, and Fucking: Julia
 @ghoulia
 Follow
 a guy on my facebook posted something slightly
 stupid & his mom went OFFFFFFFFF

 What it takes to be an attractive...
 Man
 Woman
 -be ripped
 -have stable job
 -be ripped
 -have money
 -be clean
 dress well
 -smell good
 -be dad material
 -pay for dates
 -be confident
 -have nice hair
 -Dont be too fat
 Meninist
 on Tuesday
 welp

 I am so ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW
 TAKE THIS DOWN. This
 is going to be a conversation. You
 think this is true? You are selfish
 enough and diluted enough to believe
 this garbage?
 3 hours ago . Unlike-山1 . Reply
 By these standards SON I guess I'm
 unattractive and don't to a fucking
 thing for you! Oh you and I have a
 goddamn lunch date.
 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply
 I wouldn't worry about any other girls
 response here. Mine should enlighten
 you. And I've screen shot this for our
 further viewing pleasure and future
 learning tool.
 3 hours ago . Unlike . 1 . Reply

 I'm so glad I screen shot this very
 every girl you ever try to bring home.
 For your wedding day...this...this will
 be brought up FOREVER.
 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply
 Yup.
 what mood
 3 hours ago Like Reply
 look
 has set
 I'm sure your future pregnant wife will
 feel.your love when YPU MAKE HER
 UNATTRACTIVE through pregnancy.
 You twit. Open mouth allow shit to fal
 out. Anyone who liked this better
 unlik it like real fast. How do you like
 being single forever because your a
 DOUCHE CANOE?
 3 hours ago Unlike 2 Reply

 Oh don't like me spamming your wall?
 Don't post horse shit calling me
 unattractive! Like f I'm not going to
 defend myself!
 3 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply
 Simlle More
 Your proctologist called he found
 your head
 2 hours ago Unlike 1 Reply
 Smile More
 Write a comment...
 OS
dr-gloom:

neshtasplace:

author-trash:

inquisitorhotpants:

thugilly:

micdotcom:

And mom of the year goes to …

This is actually amazing because anytime I see a man being sexist or misogynistic, I wonder where his mother is.

“your proctologist called, he found your head” lmaooooooo


She went off on him I’m dead 

She gave him life, then saw fit to take it away. 

this is how moms should respond to their sons being pricks, not awkward socially-obligated laughter or silent smiles

Fatality

dr-gloom: neshtasplace: author-trash: inquisitorhotpants: thugilly: micdotcom: And mom of the year goes to … This is actually amazing...

Tumblr, Zoom, and Best: photos-of-space: Best photo I’ve been able to capture of our moon using NikonD7200 + Telescopic Lens. Zoom in for slightly more detail.
Tumblr, Zoom, and Best: photos-of-space:

Best photo I’ve been able to capture of our moon using NikonD7200 + Telescopic Lens. Zoom in for slightly more detail.

photos-of-space: Best photo I’ve been able to capture of our moon using NikonD7200 + Telescopic Lens. Zoom in for slightly more detail.