point
point

point

you tried it
 you tried it

you tried it

new pokemon
 new pokemon

new pokemon

pile on
 pile on

pile on

firstly
firstly

firstly

goe
goe

goe

ifs
ifs

ifs

posted
posted

posted

claim
claim

claim

hoping
hoping

hoping

🔥 | Latest

Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18 02:56 ....ll Thread James Dator @James.. 17 May In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu Reeves story 615 ti 19.2K 54.3K James Dator @James.. 17 May Keanu came to the movie theater I worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was working on the Matrix series at the time. It's a quiet, Wednesday morning almost nobody is seeing movies. 6 C t524 8,415 James Dator @James.. 17 May I'm working the box office, bored as hell and suddenly this dude walks up in jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize it's Keanu Reeves 7 1450 8,840 James Dator @James 17 Mayv He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell," the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking star struck I do what any sensible 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to give him my employee discount. This means he needs to sign my sheet and therefore I have his autograph 5 8,595 t439 James Dator @James. 17 May "I don't work here," Keanu says. Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm flustered and just charge him the normal price. Kicking myself after for not getting his autograph 9 8,300 t 410 James Dator @James.. 17 May 2 minutes later there's a knock on the door behind me that leads into the box office. I assume it's my manager. It's Keanu. 94 t 409 8,297 17 May "I realized you probably wanted my autograph," he says. "So I signed this." He hands me a receipt from the concessions stand that he signed on the back. He then casually throws an ice James Dator @James... cream cone in the trash can and sees his movie 26 t 639 13.8K James Dator @James Dator realize later that he bought an ice cream cone he didn't want, just to get receipt paper so he could scribble his autograph for a 16-year-old idiot. 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes awesomacious: Sweet Keanu
Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18
 02:56 ....ll
 Thread
 James Dator @James.. 17 May
 In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu
 Reeves story
 615
 ti 19.2K 54.3K
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 Keanu came to the movie theater I
 worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was
 working on the Matrix series at the time.
 It's a quiet, Wednesday morning
 almost nobody is seeing movies.
 6 C
 t524
 8,415
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 I'm working the box office, bored as hell
 and suddenly this dude walks up in
 jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding
 helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian
 looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30
 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize
 it's Keanu Reeves
 7
 1450
 8,840
 James Dator @James 17 Mayv
 He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell,"
 the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking
 star struck I do what any sensible
 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to
 give him my employee discount. This
 means he needs to sign my sheet and
 therefore I have his autograph
 5
 8,595
 t439
 James Dator @James. 17 May
 "I don't work here," Keanu says.
 Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm
 flustered and just charge him the normal
 price. Kicking myself after for not getting
 his autograph
 9
 8,300
 t 410
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 2 minutes later there's a knock on the
 door behind me that leads into the box
 office. I assume it's my manager. It's
 Keanu.
 94
 t 409
 8,297
 17 May
 "I realized you probably wanted my
 autograph," he says. "So I signed this."
 He hands me a receipt from the
 concessions stand that he signed on the
 back. He then casually throws an ice
 James Dator
 @James...
 cream cone in the trash can and sees his
 movie
 26
 t 639
 13.8K
 James Dator
 @James Dator
 realize later that he bought an
 ice cream cone he didn't want,
 just to get receipt paper so he
 could scribble his autograph for a
 16-year-old idiot.
 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone
 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes
awesomacious:

Sweet Keanu

awesomacious: Sweet Keanu

Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18 02:56 ....ll Thread James Dator @James.. 17 May In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu Reeves story 615 ti 19.2K 54.3K James Dator @James.. 17 May Keanu came to the movie theater I worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was working on the Matrix series at the time. It's a quiet, Wednesday morning almost nobody is seeing movies. 6 C t524 8,415 James Dator @James.. 17 May I'm working the box office, bored as hell and suddenly this dude walks up in jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize it's Keanu Reeves 7 1450 8,840 James Dator @James 17 Mayv He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell," the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking star struck I do what any sensible 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to give him my employee discount. This means he needs to sign my sheet and therefore I have his autograph 5 8,595 t439 James Dator @James. 17 May "I don't work here," Keanu says. Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm flustered and just charge him the normal price. Kicking myself after for not getting his autograph 9 8,300 t 410 James Dator @James.. 17 May 2 minutes later there's a knock on the door behind me that leads into the box office. I assume it's my manager. It's Keanu. 94 t 409 8,297 17 May "I realized you probably wanted my autograph," he says. "So I signed this." He hands me a receipt from the concessions stand that he signed on the back. He then casually throws an ice James Dator @James... cream cone in the trash can and sees his movie 26 t 639 13.8K James Dator @James Dator realize later that he bought an ice cream cone he didn't want, just to get receipt paper so he could scribble his autograph for a 16-year-old idiot. 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes Sweet Keanu
Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18
 02:56 ....ll
 Thread
 James Dator @James.. 17 May
 In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu
 Reeves story
 615
 ti 19.2K 54.3K
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 Keanu came to the movie theater I
 worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was
 working on the Matrix series at the time.
 It's a quiet, Wednesday morning
 almost nobody is seeing movies.
 6 C
 t524
 8,415
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 I'm working the box office, bored as hell
 and suddenly this dude walks up in
 jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding
 helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian
 looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30
 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize
 it's Keanu Reeves
 7
 1450
 8,840
 James Dator @James 17 Mayv
 He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell,"
 the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking
 star struck I do what any sensible
 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to
 give him my employee discount. This
 means he needs to sign my sheet and
 therefore I have his autograph
 5
 8,595
 t439
 James Dator @James. 17 May
 "I don't work here," Keanu says.
 Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm
 flustered and just charge him the normal
 price. Kicking myself after for not getting
 his autograph
 9
 8,300
 t 410
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 2 minutes later there's a knock on the
 door behind me that leads into the box
 office. I assume it's my manager. It's
 Keanu.
 94
 t 409
 8,297
 17 May
 "I realized you probably wanted my
 autograph," he says. "So I signed this."
 He hands me a receipt from the
 concessions stand that he signed on the
 back. He then casually throws an ice
 James Dator
 @James...
 cream cone in the trash can and sees his
 movie
 26
 t 639
 13.8K
 James Dator
 @James Dator
 realize later that he bought an
 ice cream cone he didn't want,
 just to get receipt paper so he
 could scribble his autograph for a
 16-year-old idiot.
 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone
 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes
Sweet Keanu

Sweet Keanu

Fail, Fire, and Life: Teacher: You have to make an innocent computer game! Me: Hose/lose from zach gage loselose is a game about choice and consequence, and b what it means to sucoeed or fail You play the role of a space captain on a seemingly endless quest to dectroy aftacking aliens. You receive one point for each alien you kil You have one life, and if an allen touches you, you ill esplode. Tyou manage to kil al of the stera without dying, you wil win th game Authough loselose is a video-game, everything that happens whl while you play is rea Each aien is procedurally generated out of a Sie on your computer. When you kill an alen, the fie it was created from is destroyed On the other hand, if you are kiled, the applcation itat wil be di stroyed 00:54 Lose/Lose is a video-game with real life consequences. Each alien in the game is created based on a random file on the players computer. If the player kills the alien, the file it is based on is deleted. If the players ship is destroyed, the application itself is deleted Although touching aliens will cause the player to lose the game, and killing aliens awards points, the aliens will never actually fire at the player. This calls into question the player's mission, which is never explicitly stated, only hinted at through classic game mechanics. Is the player supposed to be an aggressor? Or merely an observer, traversing through a dangerous land? Why do we assume that because we are given a weapon an awarded for using it, that doing so is right? By way of exploring what it means to kill in a video-game, Lose/Lose broaches bigger questions. As technology grows, our understanding of it diminishes, yet, at the same time, it becomes increasingly important in our lives. At what point does our virtual data become as important to us as physical possessions? If we have reached that point already, what real objects do we value less than our data? What implications does trusting something so important to something we maderoviad menetichave? AH YES. MY FAVOURITE FRIENDLY COMPUTER GAME
Fail, Fire, and Life: Teacher: You have to make an innocent
 computer game!
 Me:
 Hose/lose
 from zach gage
 loselose is a game about choice and consequence, and b
 what it means to sucoeed or fail
 You play the role of a space captain on a seemingly endless quest to
 dectroy aftacking aliens. You receive one point for each alien you kil
 You have one life, and if an allen touches you, you ill esplode.
 Tyou manage to kil al of the stera without dying, you wil win th
 game
 Authough loselose is a video-game, everything that happens whl
 while you
 play is rea
 Each aien is procedurally generated out of a Sie on your computer.
 When you kill an alen, the fie it was created from is destroyed
 On the other hand, if you are kiled, the applcation itat wil be di
 stroyed
 00:54
 Lose/Lose is a video-game with real life consequences. Each alien in the
 game is created based on a random file on the players computer. If the player kills
 the alien, the file it is based on is deleted. If the players ship is destroyed, the
 application itself is deleted
 Although touching aliens will cause the player to lose the game, and killing aliens
 awards points, the aliens will never actually fire at the player. This calls into
 question the player's mission, which is never explicitly stated, only hinted at
 through classic game mechanics. Is the player supposed to be an aggressor? Or
 merely an observer, traversing through a dangerous land?
 Why do we assume that because we are given a weapon an awarded for using it,
 that doing so is right?
 By way of exploring what it means to kill in a video-game, Lose/Lose broaches
 bigger questions. As technology grows, our understanding of it diminishes, yet, at
 the same time, it becomes increasingly important in our lives. At what point does
 our virtual data become as important to us as physical possessions? If we have
 reached that point already, what real objects do we value less than our data?
 What implications does trusting something so important to something we
 maderoviad menetichave?
AH YES. MY FAVOURITE FRIENDLY COMPUTER GAME

AH YES. MY FAVOURITE FRIENDLY COMPUTER GAME

Brains, Club, and Crazy: Why Men And Women Think Differently. This Guy Nails It. Women are much more complicated than men. Men are very simple. And you know why? It's because their brains are so different. First, I want to start with men. Men's brains are very unique. Most women don't realize that whether we are having sex or watching sports, our brains are made up of little boxes. We've got a box for everything. We've got a box for the car. We've got a box for the money We've got a box for the job. We've got a box for you We've got a box for the kids. We've got a box for your mother somewhere in the basement. We've got boxes everywhere. And the rule is: the boxes don't touch. When a man discusses a particular subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box out, we open the box, and we discuss only what is in THAT BOX. And then we close the box and put it away being very, very careful not to touch other boxes. Now women's brains are very, very different from men's brains. Women's brains are made up of a big ball of wire. And everything is connected to everything. The money is connected to the car and the car is connected to your job and your kids are connected to your mother and everythingisallconnected. It's like the internet superhighway, and it's all driven by energy that we call emotion. It's one of the reasons why women tend to remember...everything. Because if you take an event and you connect it to an emotion and it burns in your memory and you can remember it forever. The same thing happens for men. It just doesn't happen very often, because quite frankly...we don't care. Women tend to care about everything. And she just loves it. Now men, we have a box in our brain that most women are not aware of. This particular box has nothing in it. In fact, we call it the 'nothing box.' And of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the 'nothing box is our favorite box. If a man has a chance, he'll go to his nothing box every time. That's why a man can do something seemingly completely brain dead for hours on end. You know, like fishing. Now they've actually measured this. The University of Pennsylvania a couple of years ago did a study and discovered that men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing, and still breathe. Women can't do it. Their mind has never stopped. And they don't understand the 'nothing box, and it drives them CRAZY because nothing drives a woman more crazy and makes them feel more irritated than to watch a man doing nothing. laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry
Brains, Club, and Crazy: Why Men And Women Think
 Differently. This Guy Nails It.
 Women are much more complicated than men. Men
 are very simple. And you know why? It's because
 their brains are so different. First, I want to start with
 men. Men's brains are very unique. Most women
 don't realize that whether we are having sex or
 watching sports, our brains are made up of little
 boxes. We've got a box for everything. We've got a
 box for the car. We've got a box for the money
 We've got a box for the job. We've got a box for you
 We've got a box for the kids. We've got a box for
 your mother somewhere in the basement.
 We've got boxes everywhere. And the rule is: the
 boxes don't touch. When a man discusses a particular
 subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box
 out, we open the box, and we discuss only what is in
 THAT BOX. And then we close the box and put it away
 being very, very careful not to touch other boxes.
 Now women's brains are very, very different from
 men's brains. Women's brains are made up of a big
 ball of wire. And everything is connected to
 everything. The money is connected to the car
 and the car is connected to your job and your
 kids are connected to your mother and
 everythingisallconnected. It's like the internet
 superhighway, and it's all driven by energy that we call
 emotion. It's one of the reasons why women tend to
 remember...everything.
 Because if you take an event and you connect it to an
 emotion and it burns in your memory and you can
 remember it forever. The same thing happens for
 men. It just doesn't happen very often, because quite
 frankly...we don't care. Women tend to care about
 everything. And she just loves it.
 Now men, we have a box in our brain that most
 women are not aware of. This particular box has
 nothing in it. In fact, we call it the 'nothing box.' And
 of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the 'nothing
 box is our favorite box. If a man has a chance, he'll go
 to his nothing box every time. That's why a man can
 do something seemingly completely brain dead for
 hours on end. You know, like fishing.
 Now they've actually measured this. The University of
 Pennsylvania a couple of years ago did a study and
 discovered that men have the ability to think about
 absolutely nothing, and still breathe.
 Women can't do it. Their mind has never stopped. And
 they don't understand the 'nothing box, and it drives
 them CRAZY because nothing drives a woman more
 crazy and makes them feel more irritated than to
 watch a man doing nothing.
laughoutloud-club:

The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

laughoutloud-club: The Nothing Box That Makes Women Angry

Baller Alert, Chicago, and Girls: R. KELLY INDICTED ON AGGRAVATED SEXUAL ABUSE CHARGES WITH MINORS BETWEEN AGES 13 AND 16, JUDGE ISSUES NO-BAIL WARRANT BALLER ALERT READ MORE: www.BALLERALERT.COM R. Kelly Indicted On Aggravated Sexual Abuse Charges With Minors Between Ages 13 And 16, Judge Issues No-Bail Warrant - Written by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ RKelly has reportedly been indicted on charges of sexual misconduct with underage girls between the ages of 13 and 16. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A Cook County judge has issued a no-bail warrant for the arrest of Robert Sylvester Kelly, well known for his stage name “R. Kelly,” the Chicago Sun-Times reports. The charges that were passed through a grand jury span from 1998 to 2010, the girls involved in the case were between the ages of 13 and 16, prosecutors allege. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This will be the beginning of Kelly’s second battle against the justice system for allegations that he has been abusing, raping and sexually assaulting underage and adult women for more than a decade. These new movements were seemingly sparked after the release of Lifetime’s documentary “Surviving R. Kelly,” and the recent MuteRKelly movement. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Earlier this month, a grand jury came together to look over the new allegations against the singer-songwriter, a source close to the case says. A videotape of Kelly having sex with an underage girl was turned over to the State’s Attorney’s Office by attorney Michael Avenatti. In the explicit and clear ....…to read the rest log on to BallerAlert.com (clickable link on profile)
Baller Alert, Chicago, and Girls: R. KELLY INDICTED ON AGGRAVATED SEXUAL
 ABUSE CHARGES WITH MINORS BETWEEN AGES
 13 AND 16, JUDGE ISSUES NO-BAIL WARRANT
 BALLER ALERT
 READ MORE: www.BALLERALERT.COM
R. Kelly Indicted On Aggravated Sexual Abuse Charges With Minors Between Ages 13 And 16, Judge Issues No-Bail Warrant - Written by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ RKelly has reportedly been indicted on charges of sexual misconduct with underage girls between the ages of 13 and 16. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A Cook County judge has issued a no-bail warrant for the arrest of Robert Sylvester Kelly, well known for his stage name “R. Kelly,” the Chicago Sun-Times reports. The charges that were passed through a grand jury span from 1998 to 2010, the girls involved in the case were between the ages of 13 and 16, prosecutors allege. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This will be the beginning of Kelly’s second battle against the justice system for allegations that he has been abusing, raping and sexually assaulting underage and adult women for more than a decade. These new movements were seemingly sparked after the release of Lifetime’s documentary “Surviving R. Kelly,” and the recent MuteRKelly movement. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Earlier this month, a grand jury came together to look over the new allegations against the singer-songwriter, a source close to the case says. A videotape of Kelly having sex with an underage girl was turned over to the State’s Attorney’s Office by attorney Michael Avenatti. In the explicit and clear ....…to read the rest log on to BallerAlert.com (clickable link on profile)

R. Kelly Indicted On Aggravated Sexual Abuse Charges With Minors Between Ages 13 And 16, Judge Issues No-Bail Warrant - Written by: @RaquelH...

Fucking, Life, and School: DONNY CATES. @Doncates , Dec 11 I promise you dont really want to read a book where Eddie is doing fine and everything is awesome and everyone is happy. That book is boring and you will not like that book Or maybe you would. I dunno. I'm not writing that book symbisexual-disaster:*glances wearily at my 5,000 bookmarked fics in which everything is awesome and everyone is happy*  Honestly this just shows what a shallow understanding of story writing he has and I don’t know how he got to become a writer as a result of this.Conflict makes a story interesting but it’s pretty clear that a) he only has 1 idea of conflict (tragedy) and b) he sees no room for character growth (because anything other than tragedy is considered boring and irrelevant and therefore we never see characters put into different situations and he doesn’t have to write them react to anything other than tragedy).Showing Eddie and Venom doing well doesn’t even have to be the whole series (honestly I’d find that pretty boring too after several issues as much as I want to see Eddie and Venom grocery shopping or going to the farmer’s market). The point of doing so is a) character development and b) a break in the storyline from any current conflict. As much as peace/ trivial aspects of Eddie’s life will get boring after several issues, so will conflict. I’m really tired of seeing overblown issues left right and centre and absolutely no pause given to Eddie’s development (not to mention he’s regressing because of shitty writing).That one scene where Eddie’s speaking to V but seemingly himself when he’s eating noodles and V’s asking for a bloody steak? That’s the kind of shit I’m talking about. It’s literally 2 pages of Eddie speaking to himself, being very kind to V, then snapping back at a stranger who’s weirded out by him and he and V then proceed to have a conversation about innocence and stupidity. Not only does this show Eddie’s a dick in day-to-day life which contrasts with his ideas of being a good person and saving the innocent, it also shows V’s basic (but forming) ideas about human characteristics and personalities and Eddie has to do his best to help V understand innocent =/= stupid. That’s all it fucking took! 2 pages of a regular conversation between Eddie and V! Then you can get back to whatever conflict is happening!Donny Cates never graduated from the school of ‘I like these characters and I’m going to make them suffer’ and it shows.
Fucking, Life, and School: DONNY CATES. @Doncates , Dec 11
 I promise you dont really want to read a book where Eddie is doing fine and
 everything is awesome and everyone is happy. That book is boring and you will
 not like that book
 Or maybe you would. I dunno.
 I'm not writing that book
symbisexual-disaster:*glances wearily at my 5,000 bookmarked fics in which everything is awesome and everyone is happy* 
Honestly this just shows what a shallow understanding of story writing he has and I don’t know how he got to become a writer as a result of this.Conflict makes a story interesting but it’s pretty clear that a) he only has 1 idea of conflict (tragedy) and b) he sees no room for character growth (because anything other than tragedy is considered boring and irrelevant and therefore we never see characters put into different situations and he doesn’t have to write them react to anything other than tragedy).Showing Eddie and Venom doing well doesn’t even have to be the whole series (honestly I’d find that pretty boring too after several issues as much as I want to see Eddie and Venom grocery shopping or going to the farmer’s market). The point of doing so is a) character development and b) a break in the storyline from any current conflict. As much as peace/ trivial aspects of Eddie’s life will get boring after several issues, so will conflict. I’m really tired of seeing overblown issues left right and centre and absolutely no pause given to Eddie’s development (not to mention he’s regressing because of shitty writing).That one scene where Eddie’s speaking to V but seemingly himself when he’s eating noodles and V’s asking for a bloody steak? That’s the kind of shit I’m talking about. It’s literally 2 pages of Eddie speaking to himself, being very kind to V, then snapping back at a stranger who’s weirded out by him and he and V then proceed to have a conversation about innocence and stupidity. Not only does this show Eddie’s a dick in day-to-day life which contrasts with his ideas of being a good person and saving the innocent, it also shows V’s basic (but forming) ideas about human characteristics and personalities and Eddie has to do his best to help V understand innocent =/= stupid. That’s all it fucking took! 2 pages of a regular conversation between Eddie and V! Then you can get back to whatever conflict is happening!Donny Cates never graduated from the school of ‘I like these characters and I’m going to make them suffer’ and it shows.

symbisexual-disaster:*glances wearily at my 5,000 bookmarked fics in which everything is awesome and everyone is happy*  Honestly this just ...

Ass, Bad, and Bitch: c3po sandy cheeks would ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this. varkarrus mr krabs would've voted trump lishadra Mr Krabs absolutely would've voted trump. Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand Plankton would've voted Trump. You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it. legarcon Bubble Bass Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God Dammit. Fuck. the-collecting-turnip Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump fgsshinyhoard okay im just gonna put down my things here Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him Krabs would never respect a guy who upted not vote for him himself four times, he would Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist re- ceiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him. Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field. Patrick can't spell so he couldn't vote for anyone Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate "bad words" during their campaign. Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point. Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services. Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person. Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he's a wealthy narcissist. Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote ohdebt Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can't convince me otherwise Gary is a snail, which is seemingly the cat of the Spongebob universe, so he can't vote. However, Gary is more intelligent than almost every character on that show, and would never vote for Trump if he could Source: c3po #i fucking died # she has a record 332,823 notes Squidward is a socialist Change My Mindtm
Ass, Bad, and Bitch: c3po
 sandy cheeks would ve voted trump that evil
 southern rat ass bitch
 Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who
 lives in a foreign land that she respects the
 customs of and she would be offended you
 would even accuse her of this.
 varkarrus
 mr krabs would've voted trump
 lishadra
 Mr Krabs absolutely would've voted trump.
 Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump
 because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money
 through hard work (and being a cheapskate
 and get rich quick schemes but those still
 require some effort on his part) whereas
 Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks
 a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs
 would consider him an insult to richness for
 which he could not stand
 Plankton would've voted Trump.
 You think he needs competition taking
 over the world? Face it folks. No one on
 Spongebob would vote for Trump. None
 of them. Face it.
 legarcon
 Bubble Bass
 Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God
 Dammit. Fuck.
 the-collecting-turnip
 Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump
 fgsshinyhoard
 okay im just gonna put down my things here
 Plankton would not want competition, he
 would not vote for him
 Krabs would never respect a guy who
 upted
 not vote for him
 himself four times, he would
 Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist re-
 ceiving grants from academies to further her
 research in foreign lands, so she would never
 vote for him. Also, she would never respect a
 man who made such sexist comments since
 Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet
 snail like a traditional sports coach) and she
 kicked HIS ass over a fucking field.
 Patrick can't spell so he couldn't vote
 for anyone
 Spongebob is too nice and would never vote
 for anyone who used such inappropriate "bad
 words" during their campaign.
 Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to
 even vote because he thinks there would
 be no point.
 Pearl is a teenager and therefore too
 young to vote
 Larry Lobster is a trained medic and
 custodian and would not vote for anyone that
 crippled such services.
 Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because
 Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who
 enjoys deceiving others just for the sake
 of humiliating them, and would approve
 of such a person.
 Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him
 because
 he's a wealthy narcissist.
 Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is
 therefore not eligible to vote
 ohdebt
 Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail
 worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist,
 and also a firm supporter and member of the
 fine arts community. He would actively vote
 against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can't
 convince me otherwise
 Gary is a snail, which is seemingly the cat
 of the Spongebob universe, so he can't vote.
 However, Gary is more intelligent than almost
 every character on that show, and would never
 vote for Trump if he could
 Source: c3po #i fucking died
 # she has a record
 332,823 notes
Squidward is a socialist Change My Mindtm

Squidward is a socialist Change My Mindtm

Advice, Ass, and Bad: Follow i keep seeing these posts romanticizing Peresephone and Hades. like hozier and florence welch should duet cause they're like persephone and hades. or cute little myth aus or fan art and edits of people's faves styled like them and it's like this: Persephone wasn't some young girl in love with a bad boy. She was fucking abducted and raped by hades. her mother mourned the loss of her child her time spent in the underworld wasa myth about why plants die in winter. when she is depicted in art the subject is usually 'The Rape of Persephone' that shit isn't romantic. that is fucked up. x hades #that shit is fucked #read a book 1 note that is fucked up ked #read a book I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry Is OP aware that oh so many books exist on this subject? And that almost universally the ones authored by people with doctorates in classicism and mythology disagree with OP? Including the... epic hymn that first told this story? You know what's in that original source material.. right? Abducted, yes Demeter mourned? Definitely Rape, no abduct So here's some info on Ancient Greek wedding traditions which (oh my stars and garters! included abducting the bride. With the father's permission, which Hades got before he took her away Here's a whole book on the subject of Ancient Greek wedding custom and its conflation with funeral rites. (Which sounds a bit like Hades and Persephone to anyone who's ever dabbled in things like explication and context) Here's a link to another book that talks about Persephone's rise to power as a result of her willingly eating the pomegranate seeds Oh shit!l Here's a whole bunch of myths and hymns that talk about her Queen of the Holy pug tacos Batman! Here's another book about the myth focusing on the seasonal religious and liminal rites WHICH TAKE PLACE IN THE DRY SUMMER (not the fucking winter), which you know if you read a book Way to go, OP All these fucking books! What could anyone possibly do with them all?1?171? Do you eat books to absorb their powers instead of read them? A better guess would be that you got into a moral panic over the name of a certain Renaissance statue and maybe after reading three pages of Edith Hamilton or the first paragraph of a Wikipedia article. And then used that to castigate and demean not only the people who actually take their limited time to create gorgeous art but also to denigrate modern day worshippers of Persephone and Hades? Maybe next time, you stringy plece of over-boiled okra, you might want to take your own advice and pick up a book, instead of reducing the feared and respected Queen of the Underworld who held power equal to or in many interpretations GREATER than her husband into a meaningless pastiche of female disenfranchisement that you seemingly plucked from your own ass. JESUS CHRIST THANK YOU Perception of Persephone
Advice, Ass, and Bad: Follow
 i keep seeing these posts romanticizing
 Peresephone and Hades.
 like hozier and florence welch should
 duet cause they're like persephone and
 hades.
 or cute little myth aus
 or fan art and edits of people's faves
 styled like them
 and it's like this:
 Persephone wasn't some young girl in
 love with a bad boy. She was fucking
 abducted and raped by hades. her
 mother mourned the loss of her child
 her time spent in the underworld wasa
 myth about why plants die in winter.
 when she is depicted in art the subject is
 usually 'The Rape of Persephone'
 that shit isn't romantic. that is fucked up.
 x hades #that shit is fucked #read a book
 1 note
 that is fucked up
 ked #read a book
 I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry
 Is OP aware that oh so many books exist on this subject?
 And that almost universally the ones authored by people with doctorates in
 classicism and mythology disagree with OP?
 Including the... epic hymn that first told this story? You know what's in that
 original source material.. right?
 Abducted, yes
 Demeter mourned? Definitely
 Rape, no
 abduct
 So here's some info on Ancient Greek wedding traditions which (oh my stars
 and garters! included abducting the bride. With the father's permission, which
 Hades got before he took her away
 Here's a whole book on the subject of Ancient Greek wedding custom and its
 conflation with funeral rites. (Which sounds a bit like Hades and Persephone to
 anyone who's ever dabbled in things like explication and context)
 Here's a link to another book that talks about Persephone's rise to power as a
 result of her willingly eating the pomegranate seeds
 Oh shit!l
 Here's a whole bunch of myths and hymns that talk about her Queen of the
 Holy pug tacos Batman!
 Here's another book about the myth focusing on the seasonal religious and
 liminal rites WHICH TAKE PLACE IN THE DRY SUMMER (not the fucking
 winter), which you know if you read a book Way to go, OP
 All these fucking books! What could anyone possibly do with them all?1?171?
 Do you eat books to absorb their powers instead of read them?
 A better guess would be that you got into a moral panic over the name of a
 certain Renaissance statue and maybe after reading three pages of Edith
 Hamilton or the first paragraph of a Wikipedia article. And then used that to
 castigate and demean not only the people who actually take their limited time to
 create gorgeous art but also to denigrate modern day worshippers of
 Persephone and Hades?
 Maybe next time, you stringy plece of over-boiled okra, you might want to take
 your own advice and pick up a book, instead of reducing the feared and
 respected Queen of the Underworld who held power equal to or in many
 interpretations GREATER than her husband into a meaningless pastiche of
 female disenfranchisement that you seemingly plucked from your own ass.
 JESUS CHRIST THANK YOU
Perception of Persephone

Perception of Persephone

Af, Being Alone, and America: MARIAH CAREY Not Another White Girl Trying To Sing Black' Daughter of Black father and White mother is hottest new artist By Lynn Norment ARIAH CAREY has a score to settle. Last summer, soon after her debut recording started racing up the record charts, she says a music critic referred to her as "another White girl trying to sing Black." Carey, indisputably the hottest new artist of the year, was infuriated A hit on Black and White charts, Mariah Carey is biggest new pop star since Whitney Houston 54 EB NY March 1991 Continued on Page 56 Denying reports that she is a White star imitating Blacks, talented singer-lyricist poses (left) at New York luncheon. "My father, Carey says, "is Black and Venezuelan, my mother is Irish. That makes me a combination of all those things." MARIAH CAREY Continued sing a certain way. I'm just trying to be Because she and her mother moved And now, here at a luncheon at Lolas me. And if people enjoy my music, often, she didn't have many close n Manhattan, she has the then they shouldn't care what I am, so friends or get involved in high school music programs. Instead, she spent af- straight and "tactfully" correct the Carey says she has always loved to ter-school hours writing songs and ing, and she gives credit and thanks to making demo tapes with longtime ac- perfect opportunity to set the record it shouldn't be an issue erring critic. "Im not a White girl trying to sing her mother for the "genes. Her quaintance Ben Margulies Black," the 20-year-old singer says in mother started giving her vocal lessons I 1987, right after finishing high an interview soon after. “My father is when she was four years old, and she school at age 17, she moved from her Black and Venezuelan, my mother is spent considerable time around her mother's home on Long Island into a Irish. That makes me a combination of mom's musically talented friends, one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan all those things. I am a human being, a soaking up the sounds of Billie Holiday with two other struggling performers During this exceptionally lean period, As a kid, she also spent a lot of time she slept on a mattress on the floor and Though barely out of her teens, Ma- listening to the radio and her sister's worked as a waitress, hat checker and riah Carey is indeed her own woman records. The soulful sounds of Gladys restaurant hostess to make ends meet She grew up in New York with her Knight, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Before and after work, she diligently mother, Patricia Carey, a vocal coach Wonder and Al Green were constant shopped her demo tapes from record and former singer with the New York companions. She sang along and stud- company to record company, but was person. What I am not is a White girl trying to sing Black. and Sarah Vaughan City Opera. Her parents divorced ed the lyrics and arrangements. By basically ignored when she was three, and Carey had an the time she was in high school, Carey ther, Alfred Roy Carey, an aeronautica which appear on her recordin a brother, 29, and a sister, 30.) back on-and-off" relationship with her fa was writing her own songs, several of up to Brenda K. Starr, and she was reg ularly doing studio session work. "We engineer in Washington, D.C. (She has Gospel music was also a great influ became good friends, and she helped ence. On occasion, she accompanied me out a lot," she says of Starr. "She Some people look at me and they her paternal grandmother, who is was always saying, Here's my friend see my light skin and my hair," she says Black, to a Baptist church. Even today, Mariah, here's her tape; she sings Eventually she began running a slender, neatly manicured she says, "I get up and go to bed listen- writes..。。.. hand through her long, semi-curly, ing to gospel music." Her favorites i It was Starr who took Carey to the honey-colored tresses for emphasis. "I clude the Clark Sisters, Shirley Caesar CBS party where she was discovered can't help the way I look, because it's and Edwin Hawkins, in addition to Ar me. I don't try to look a certain way or etha Franklin and Al Green 56 At t Sony Music Entertainment) president Continued on Page 58 EBONY March 1991 ways felt kind of different from every one else in my neighborhoods. I was a different person-ethnically. And sometimes that can be a problem. If you look a certain way everybody goes White girl, and I'd go, No, that's not Carey chose to express her inner- most feelings in her songs rather than become depressed and bitter. You re ally have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, Im proud of what I am and who I am and I'm just going to be myself And for Carey, that translates into being a "respected" singer and song writer. But her phenomenal success has not inflated her head or her bank account, for she has yet to realize any monies from the album's success. The days when she and two struggling roommates stretched out a boxed mac aroni dinner for a week are still too Vivid, she says And, no, I don't let stuff like this go to my head, because success isn't a scale for talent," says the singer. I don't want to be a big star,' but I want to be respected as an artist. I'm de- Black singers, Carey lighted and very thankful [that people Influenced by Gladys Knight, Aretha Franklin and other started writing songs ike her work] in high school. She is a big gospel musio fan. "This is my love," she says emphat ically. "I want to sing for the rest of my MARIAH CAREY Continued more than two million copies. In At this point, she sings every chance Tommy Mottola a demo. In return, he ically, Carey wrote "Love Takes Time" she gets. In the studio. During promo gave her a Great-another demo for a second LP. But when Mottola tional stops. In the shower. Around her tape" smile, and Carey assumed it was another dead end. But on leaving the heard it, he insisted on stop g the one-bedroom Upper East Side Marn hattan apartment. To the boyfriend/ affair, Mottola popped the demo into but album, even though some record singer she's known since high school presses and adding the song to her de- his limo's tape deck. He liked what he ings were already in record stores heard so much that he immediately re- To her two Persian cats Carey says she was just as startled as Singing makes me incredibly turned to the party to find Carey. But anyone that Vision of Love" hit so big happy," she says. "Music makes me im she had already left because "it isn't hip-hop music, it isn't measurably h Having no address or telephone house music, and it isn't rap. But I am number did not deter Mottola from so glad and thankful," she says. That tracking her down. Ironically, another song really represents everything in record company had expressed mild interest in Carey, and a bit of a biddii war evolved my life. It is a song from the heart. ing Consider the lyrics: "Prayed through the nights/Felt so alone/Suf In December 1988, she signed with fered from alienation/Carried the CBS Columbia Records. Within a weight on my own/Had to be strong/So week she wrote Vision of Love" for I believed/And now I know I've suc- her debut album. In fact, she wrote ceeded/In finding the place I con- lyrics for all l songs on her self-titled ceived LP, and she even produced Vanish- the lissome artist with the clear, passio- inging "America The Beautiful" at the Just why would such a seemingly tender womanchild write these words Columbia went all-out to promote of despair and sing them with suclh deep passion? nate seven-octave voice, flexing a little "Well, just because you are young clout to get her the coveted task of doesn't mean that you haven't had a hard life," she says with a knowing lit 1989 NBA finals, where she was ex- tle smile. "It's been difficult for me, posed to 16 million people. Both "Vi moving around so much, having to sion of Love" and "Love Takes Time grow up by myself, basically on my have gone gold, and the album has sold own, my parents divorced. And I al EBONY March 1991 festivemomentspow:Mariah Carey, 1991
Af, Being Alone, and America: MARIAH CAREY
 Not Another
 White Girl
 Trying To
 Sing Black'
 Daughter of Black father
 and White mother is
 hottest new artist
 By Lynn Norment
 ARIAH CAREY has a score to settle. Last
 summer, soon after her debut recording
 started racing up the record charts, she says a
 music critic referred to her as "another White
 girl trying to sing Black."
 Carey, indisputably the hottest new artist of
 the year, was infuriated
 A hit on Black and White
 charts, Mariah Carey is
 biggest new pop star
 since Whitney Houston
 54
 EB NY March 1991
 Continued on Page 56

 Denying reports that she is a White star imitating Blacks, talented singer-lyricist poses (left) at New York luncheon. "My father, Carey says, "is Black
 and Venezuelan, my mother is Irish. That makes me a combination of all those things."
 MARIAH CAREY Continued
 sing a certain way. I'm just trying to be
 Because she and her mother moved
 And now, here at a luncheon at Lolas me. And if people enjoy my music, often, she didn't have many close
 n Manhattan, she has the then they shouldn't care what I am, so friends or get involved in high school
 music programs. Instead, she spent af-
 straight and "tactfully" correct the Carey says she has always loved to ter-school hours writing songs and
 ing, and she gives credit and thanks to making demo tapes with longtime ac-
 perfect opportunity to set the record
 it shouldn't be an issue
 erring critic.
 "Im not a White girl trying to sing her mother for the "genes. Her quaintance Ben Margulies
 Black," the 20-year-old singer says in mother started giving her vocal lessons I 1987, right after finishing high
 an interview soon after. “My father is when she was four years old, and she school at age 17, she moved from her
 Black and Venezuelan, my mother is spent considerable time around her mother's home on Long Island into a
 Irish. That makes me a combination of mom's musically talented friends, one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan
 all those things. I am a human being, a soaking up the sounds of Billie Holiday with two other struggling performers
 During this exceptionally lean period,
 As a kid, she also spent a lot of time she slept on a mattress on the floor and
 Though barely out of her teens, Ma- listening to the radio and her sister's worked as a waitress, hat checker and
 riah Carey is indeed her own woman records. The soulful sounds of Gladys restaurant hostess to make ends meet
 She grew up in New York with her Knight, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Before and after work, she diligently
 mother, Patricia Carey, a vocal coach Wonder and Al Green were constant shopped her demo tapes from record
 and former singer with the New York companions. She sang along and stud- company to record company, but was
 person. What I am not is a White girl
 trying to sing Black.
 and Sarah Vaughan
 City Opera. Her parents divorced ed the lyrics and arrangements. By basically ignored
 when she was three, and Carey had an the time she was in high school, Carey
 ther, Alfred Roy Carey, an aeronautica which appear on her recordin
 a brother, 29, and a sister, 30.)
 back
 on-and-off" relationship with her fa was writing her own songs, several of up to Brenda K. Starr, and she was reg
 ularly doing studio session work. "We
 engineer in Washington, D.C. (She has Gospel music was also a great influ became good friends, and she helped
 ence. On occasion, she accompanied me out a lot," she says of Starr. "She
 Some people look at me and they her paternal grandmother, who is was always saying, Here's my friend
 see my light skin and my hair," she says Black, to a Baptist church. Even today, Mariah, here's her tape; she sings
 Eventually she began
 running a slender, neatly manicured
 she says, "I get up and go to bed listen-
 writes..。。..
 hand through her long, semi-curly, ing to gospel music." Her favorites i It was Starr who took Carey to the
 honey-colored tresses for emphasis. "I clude the Clark Sisters, Shirley Caesar CBS party where she was discovered
 can't help the way I look, because it's and Edwin Hawkins, in addition to Ar
 me. I don't try to look a certain way or etha Franklin and Al Green
 56
 At t
 Sony Music Entertainment) president
 Continued on Page 58
 EBONY March 1991

 ways felt kind of different from every
 one else in my neighborhoods. I was a
 different person-ethnically. And
 sometimes that can be a problem. If
 you look a certain way everybody goes
 White girl, and I'd go, No, that's not
 Carey chose to express her inner-
 most feelings in her songs rather than
 become depressed and bitter. You re
 ally have to look inside yourself and
 find your own inner strength, and say,
 Im proud of what I am and who I am
 and I'm just going to be myself
 And for Carey, that translates into
 being a "respected" singer and song
 writer. But her phenomenal success
 has not inflated her head or her bank
 account, for she has yet to realize any
 monies from the album's success. The
 days when she and two struggling
 roommates stretched out a boxed mac
 aroni dinner for a week are still too
 Vivid, she says
 And, no, I don't let stuff like this go
 to my head, because success isn't a
 scale for talent," says the singer. I
 don't want to be a big star,' but I want
 to be respected as an artist. I'm de-
 Black singers, Carey lighted and very thankful [that people
 Influenced by Gladys
 Knight, Aretha
 Franklin and other
 started writing songs ike her work]
 in high school. She
 is a big gospel musio
 fan.
 "This is my love," she says emphat
 ically. "I want to sing for the rest of my
 MARIAH CAREY Continued
 more than two million copies. In At this point, she sings every chance
 Tommy Mottola a demo. In return, he ically, Carey wrote "Love Takes Time" she gets. In the studio. During promo
 gave her a Great-another demo for a second LP. But when Mottola tional stops. In the shower. Around her
 tape" smile, and Carey assumed it was
 another dead end. But on leaving the
 heard it, he insisted on stop
 g the one-bedroom Upper East Side Marn
 hattan apartment. To the boyfriend/
 affair, Mottola popped the demo into but album, even though some record singer she's known since high school
 presses and adding the song to her de-
 his limo's tape deck. He liked what he ings were already in record stores
 heard so much that he immediately re-
 To her two Persian cats
 Carey says she was just as startled as
 Singing makes me incredibly
 turned to the party to find Carey. But anyone that Vision of Love" hit so big happy," she says. "Music makes me im
 she had already left
 because "it isn't hip-hop music, it isn't measurably h
 Having no address or telephone house music, and it isn't rap. But I am
 number did not deter Mottola from so glad and thankful," she says. That
 tracking her down. Ironically, another song really represents everything in
 record company had expressed mild
 interest in Carey, and a bit of a biddii
 war evolved
 my life. It is a song from the heart.
 ing
 Consider the lyrics: "Prayed
 through the nights/Felt so alone/Suf
 In December 1988, she signed with fered from alienation/Carried the
 CBS Columbia Records. Within a weight on my own/Had to be strong/So
 week she wrote Vision of Love" for I believed/And now I know I've suc-
 her debut album. In fact, she wrote ceeded/In finding the place I con-
 lyrics for all l songs on her self-titled ceived
 LP, and she even produced Vanish-
 the lissome artist with the clear, passio-
 inging "America The Beautiful" at the
 Just why would such a seemingly
 tender womanchild write these words
 Columbia went all-out to promote of despair and sing them with suclh
 deep passion?
 nate seven-octave voice, flexing a little "Well, just because you are young
 clout to get her the coveted task of doesn't mean that you haven't had a
 hard life," she says with a knowing lit
 1989 NBA finals, where she was ex- tle smile. "It's been difficult for me,
 posed to 16 million people. Both "Vi moving around so much, having to
 sion of Love" and "Love Takes Time grow up by myself, basically on my
 have gone gold, and the album has sold own, my parents divorced. And I al
 EBONY March 1991
festivemomentspow:Mariah Carey, 1991

festivemomentspow:Mariah Carey, 1991

Christmas, Church, and Fire: writing-prompt-s Your church-going, God-worshipping sister adopted a small child and you re excited to see them. But when you do, the child is a menace. They're throwing things everywhere, setting furniture on fire with seemingly nothing, chanting in Latin to summon demons, but the weirdest thing is that your sister doesn't seem to mind mababees "You literally adopted the antichrist, Anne. What the fuck." "Yeah, I knew when I saw him at the orphanage. I figured if the kid had some decent fucking parenting that we could avoid the whole 'Revelations' shite. Nasty business, that." George, who's name has been kindly changed from Damien, approaches his new mother with a huge spider in his hands. It promptly bursts into flames. "Good job, love. Now go find the rest." George's face makes no expression, but his eyes shine when he recieves a pat on the head for his efforts. talieclandestine As the months go by, George seems to settle down. He adjusts to school, friends, and the positive reinforcement Anne gives him. She encourages the good he does, even though the powers he uses aren't "good". When she gets calls from the school, it's about a rambunctious boy that won't sit still. Not a destroyer of the world and innocence. It's at Christmas dinner, that you let slip your amazement to your mother. How good Anne is for him and how he's improved a lot. Still summoning hellhounds for games of fetch, though "Oh, he'll forget how to do that when he falls in love the first time," Your mother laughs, smiling wide. "How do you know that," you ask bewildered "Because, you did The Story of the Antichrist
Christmas, Church, and Fire: writing-prompt-s
 Your church-going, God-worshipping sister adopted a small
 child and you re excited to see them. But when you do, the
 child is a menace. They're throwing things everywhere,
 setting furniture on fire with seemingly nothing, chanting in
 Latin to summon demons, but the weirdest thing is that
 your sister doesn't seem to mind
 mababees
 "You literally adopted the antichrist, Anne. What the fuck."
 "Yeah, I knew when I saw him at the orphanage. I figured if
 the kid had some decent fucking parenting that we could
 avoid the whole 'Revelations' shite. Nasty business, that."
 George, who's name has been kindly changed from
 Damien, approaches his new mother with a huge spider in
 his hands. It promptly bursts into flames.
 "Good job, love. Now go find the rest." George's face makes
 no expression, but his eyes shine when he recieves a pat
 on the head for his efforts.
 talieclandestine
 As the months go by, George seems to settle down. He
 adjusts to school, friends, and the positive reinforcement
 Anne gives him. She encourages the good he does, even
 though the powers he uses aren't "good". When she gets
 calls from the school, it's about a rambunctious boy that
 won't sit still. Not a destroyer of the world and innocence.
 It's at Christmas dinner, that you let slip your amazement
 to your mother. How good Anne is for him and how he's
 improved a lot. Still summoning hellhounds for games of
 fetch, though
 "Oh, he'll forget how to do that when he falls in love the
 first time," Your mother laughs, smiling wide.
 "How do you know that," you ask bewildered
 "Because, you did
The Story of the Antichrist

The Story of the Antichrist

Beautiful, Facts, and Memes: Mysterious Photos Of Unexplainably 'Crooked Forest' lin Poland Sometimes the strangest sights are found in nature. In this case, 400 pine trees in the northwest of Poland appear to be almost normal, but they are not. If you look at the base of these trees, you might feel like you’ve just entered a strange mystical fairy tale. All of the trees have the same northward 90-degree bend at the base of their limb. Known as the “Crooked Forest,” this unique site remains an unexplained mystery. Every tree in the Crooked Forest has the same haunting bend, but despite bent beginnings, all of the trees have grown to be tall and seemingly unhampered by their C shape curves. Some experts believe that the trees grew like this because they incurred some sort of damage to the tip and along some side branches. Trees are resilient, and so they continued to thrive, relying on the one branch they had left to take over complete function and grow upwards. Whatever damage occurred to one tree must have happened to them all because they remain uniform in deformity. The Crooked Forest is around 80 years old. It is estimated that the damage that made them look how they do today occurred when the trees were about 7 years old. This would have been before the Second World War reached Poland. Which helps to explain the most popular theory about how the trees came to be crooked. As the story goes, in 1930 a group of farmers planted these trees, intentionally damaging the base in order to create some sort of product, perhaps uniquely shaped furniture. The world may never know if it’s true because the farmers were unable to finish their work after the invasion on Poland during World War II dismantled their plans. ⇒Love ❤️, flow 💬, serve ✨⇐ . . . . . . . . . . . . . nature habitat geyser science amazing facts video natural italy sand wow instatag facts instafun instavideo videos spiritual beautiful london amazingfact memes mindblown fact magic insta sun trees tree poland Credits: 📷 Kilian Schönberger
Beautiful, Facts, and Memes: Mysterious Photos Of
 Unexplainably 'Crooked Forest' lin
 Poland
Sometimes the strangest sights are found in nature. In this case, 400 pine trees in the northwest of Poland appear to be almost normal, but they are not. If you look at the base of these trees, you might feel like you’ve just entered a strange mystical fairy tale. All of the trees have the same northward 90-degree bend at the base of their limb. Known as the “Crooked Forest,” this unique site remains an unexplained mystery. Every tree in the Crooked Forest has the same haunting bend, but despite bent beginnings, all of the trees have grown to be tall and seemingly unhampered by their C shape curves. Some experts believe that the trees grew like this because they incurred some sort of damage to the tip and along some side branches. Trees are resilient, and so they continued to thrive, relying on the one branch they had left to take over complete function and grow upwards. Whatever damage occurred to one tree must have happened to them all because they remain uniform in deformity. The Crooked Forest is around 80 years old. It is estimated that the damage that made them look how they do today occurred when the trees were about 7 years old. This would have been before the Second World War reached Poland. Which helps to explain the most popular theory about how the trees came to be crooked. As the story goes, in 1930 a group of farmers planted these trees, intentionally damaging the base in order to create some sort of product, perhaps uniquely shaped furniture. The world may never know if it’s true because the farmers were unable to finish their work after the invasion on Poland during World War II dismantled their plans. ⇒Love ❤️, flow 💬, serve ✨⇐ . . . . . . . . . . . . . nature habitat geyser science amazing facts video natural italy sand wow instatag facts instafun instavideo videos spiritual beautiful london amazingfact memes mindblown fact magic insta sun trees tree poland Credits: 📷 Kilian Schönberger

Sometimes the strangest sights are found in nature. In this case, 400 pine trees in the northwest of Poland appear to be almost normal, but ...

Cars, Confused, and Crime: ainaraoftime bus drivers who re-open their doors when they see someone running towards the stop are neutral good. any other kind of bus driver is automatically lawful evil SOaringsparrows chaotic evil: the bus driver who saw me running to the stop and waited until i was at the door to close it and drive away 43501 Time to bring back my husband's fucking legendary bus story: Taking public transport for the first time in over two months, I made my way to the stop five minutes early. On my way there, I spotted my bus which also happened to be early (the chances ikr) and frantically waved for it to wait for me... which it did, up until I tried to board. I took a bit of time crossing the road because of some confused traffic and when I finally made it, the driver slammed the doors shut in my face and took off on me. "I am taking this bus!" Determined to catch the bus which rused me, seemingly on purpose, I took chase, but it quickly became evident that I could not outrun something that wasn't made of flesh and bone. Defeated, I crawled back to the bus stop and sat down, resigned to my fate of waiting another 45 minutes. Then, not one, but two cars (with people inside) pulled up and told me about how they'd seen my valiant effort and offered to chase that bus down for me. The first I politely declined, but the second man felt responsible for slowing me down at the crossing and insisted he take me to the hospital aft least as he was picking somebody up from there, anyhow. After bonding over a short drive with Mr. Wayne, he dropped me off at the medical center and left, presumably to fight crime. A few moments later, the same bus arrived at FMC. Taking no chances this time, I leapt on board (OK, OK... walked aboard) and stared the driver, who looked as though he'd seen a ghost, dead in the eye and calmly stated, "I am taking this bus." Source: ainaraoftime Bus drivers
Cars, Confused, and Crime: ainaraoftime
 bus drivers who re-open their doors when they
 see someone running towards the stop are
 neutral good. any other kind of bus driver is
 automatically lawful evil
 SOaringsparrows
 chaotic evil: the bus driver who saw me
 running to the stop and waited until i was at
 the door to close it and drive away
 43501
 Time to bring back my husband's fucking
 legendary bus story:
 Taking public transport for the first time in over two months, I made my way
 to the stop five minutes early. On my way there, I spotted my bus which
 also happened to be early (the chances ikr) and frantically waved for it to
 wait for me... which it did, up until I tried to board.
 I took a bit of time crossing the road because of some confused traffic and
 when I finally made it, the driver slammed the doors shut in my face and
 took off on me.
 "I am taking this bus!"
 Determined to catch the bus which rused me, seemingly on purpose, I took
 chase, but it quickly became evident that I could not outrun something that
 wasn't made of flesh and bone. Defeated, I crawled back to the bus stop
 and sat down, resigned to my fate of waiting another 45 minutes.
 Then, not one, but two cars (with people inside) pulled up and told me
 about how they'd seen my valiant effort and offered to chase that bus down
 for me. The first I politely declined, but the second man felt responsible for
 slowing me down at the crossing and insisted he take me to the hospital aft
 least as he was picking somebody up from there, anyhow.
 After bonding over a short drive with Mr. Wayne, he dropped me off at the
 medical center and left, presumably to fight crime. A few moments later, the
 same bus arrived at FMC.
 Taking no chances this time, I leapt on board (OK, OK... walked aboard)
 and stared the driver, who looked as though he'd seen a ghost, dead in the
 eye and calmly stated, "I am taking this bus."
 Source: ainaraoftime
Bus drivers

Bus drivers

Alive, Ass, and Beautiful: E a : Garrett Watts @Garrett_Watts Something sad happened today that inspired a thought that l'd love to share with anyone who cares to read this. I mean no shade to any one person with my words but I've seen remarkable, generous people be needlessly lowkey bullied for this & l'd like to shed some light on it. 7:561 < iCloud June 2, 2018 at 7:53 PM Something heartbreaking happened today that inspired a thought which inspired this post. I broke my favorite wand. No, that is not an analogy for anything. I broke my wand and it broke my heart. This may immediately seem like this is about to verge into the territory of being a comical post... which is a natural assumption when a grown man states that he had his heartbroken from "breaking his wand"... but I very much mean what I am about to say because this seemingly silly piece of wood breaking (because my slightly fat ass sat on it) made me realize something that I would like to publicly address. A behavior I have seen flaring up on social media recently, and that is, people passive aggressively judging others for the things that they purchase, cherish & own. Stick with me here cause I have a point... 7:56 1 .uil Cloud For years, I have collected wands of all different kinds, and for years I have been lightheartedly teased by friends and family for such an odd infatuation. Yes, it was my love of the Harry Potter novels that started this collection, but it's turned into something more. I have many wands from different carvers & countries and some of them are so damn beautiful that I legitimately cannot believe I get the honor of owning themm Some of them taking their makers weeks, maybe months to create. tH To me, my wands are beautiful little manifestations of the importance of keeping ones imagination alive through the years. I even keep a few close by to remind me of this. This one was in my car because l sometimes pretend to blast cars into oblivion in LA Traffic. If you ever see me doing this while blasting Missy Elliot through my speakers, I apologize in advance. If you've stuck with me this long, firstly, god bless you. Secondly, I'm about to get to where I'm going with all this 8:051 .ail iCloud Recently on social media I've seen a toxic little trend of people passive aggressively shading others based on the things they choose to purchase with their own money. Some of the wands (or other things I own) didn't come cheap to me, but we as people, buy things consciously & with pride bec they are important to us, and as long as they cause no harm to others, we reserve that right to use our resources as we see fit. ause So whether it be a wand, a pair of Gucci slides, a pair of jeans to boost confidence, a car, a vinyl record... hell, even a taxidermy collection! Whatever! Allow people these things, & furthermore, if you're at all confused or intrigued about said purchase, don't silently judge them for making it or project your own narrative onto it. In fact, try politely asking them about it! If they choose to share with you why they've invested in something in their lives, you might just learn something beautiful & cool about them and make a new friend! Love - Garrett garrettsiwicki:Garrett Watts talking about judging others for their collectibles via his Twitter
Alive, Ass, and Beautiful: E a : Garrett Watts
 @Garrett_Watts
 Something sad happened today that
 inspired a thought that l'd love to share
 with anyone who cares to read this.
 I mean no shade to any one person
 with my words but I've seen
 remarkable, generous people be
 needlessly lowkey bullied for this & l'd
 like to shed some light on it.

 7:561
 < iCloud
 June 2, 2018 at 7:53 PM
 Something heartbreaking happened today
 that inspired a thought which inspired this
 post.
 I broke my favorite wand.
 No, that is not an analogy for anything. I
 broke my wand and it broke my heart.
 This may immediately seem like this is about
 to verge into the territory of being a comical
 post... which is a natural assumption when a
 grown man states that he had his
 heartbroken from "breaking his wand"... but I
 very much mean what I am about to say
 because this seemingly silly piece of wood
 breaking (because my slightly fat ass sat on
 it) made me realize something that I would
 like to publicly address. A behavior I have
 seen flaring up on social media recently, and
 that is, people passive aggressively
 judging others for the things that they
 purchase, cherish & own.
 Stick with me here cause I have a point...

 7:56 1
 .uil
 Cloud
 For years, I have collected wands of all
 different kinds, and for years I have been
 lightheartedly teased by friends and family
 for such an odd infatuation. Yes, it was my
 love of the Harry Potter novels that started
 this collection, but it's turned into something
 more. I have many wands from different
 carvers & countries and some of them are
 so damn beautiful that I legitimately cannot
 believe I get the honor of owning themm
 Some of them taking their makers weeks,
 maybe months to create.
 tH
 To me, my wands are beautiful little
 manifestations of the importance of keeping
 ones imagination alive through the years. I
 even keep a few close by to remind me of
 this. This one was in my car because l
 sometimes pretend to blast cars into oblivion
 in LA Traffic. If you ever see me doing this
 while blasting Missy Elliot through my
 speakers, I apologize in advance.
 If you've stuck with me this long, firstly, god
 bless you. Secondly, I'm about to get to
 where I'm going with all this

 8:051
 .ail
 iCloud
 Recently on social media I've seen a toxic
 little trend of people passive aggressively
 shading others based on the things they
 choose to purchase with their own money.
 Some of the wands (or other things I own)
 didn't come cheap to me, but we as people,
 buy things consciously & with pride bec
 they are important to us, and as long as they
 cause no harm to others, we reserve that
 right to use our resources as we see fit.
 ause
 So whether it be a wand, a pair of Gucci
 slides, a pair of jeans to boost confidence, a
 car, a vinyl record... hell, even a taxidermy
 collection! Whatever! Allow people these
 things, & furthermore, if you're at all
 confused or intrigued about said purchase,
 don't silently judge them for making it or
 project your own narrative onto it. In fact, try
 politely asking them about it! If they
 choose to share with you why they've
 invested in something in their lives, you
 might just learn something beautiful & cool
 about them and make a new friend!
 Love
 - Garrett
garrettsiwicki:Garrett Watts talking about judging others for their collectibles via his Twitter

garrettsiwicki:Garrett Watts talking about judging others for their collectibles via his Twitter

Best Friend, Chicago, and God: justlookatthosesausages: invisiblespork: ohhowlucky: danteogodofsoup: killbenedictcumberbatch: standupcomedyblog: John Mulaney | The Salt Pepper Diner THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile. [Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.  Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?  Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly… BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’ Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest. And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’  They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.] reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
Best Friend, Chicago, and God: justlookatthosesausages:
invisiblespork:

ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt  Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt  Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited. 
Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright? 
Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’ 
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’ 
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]

reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg

justlookatthosesausages: invisiblespork: ohhowlucky: danteogodofsoup: killbenedictcumberbatch: standupcomedyblog: John Mulaney | The Sa...

Being Alone, Children, and Money: Children Killed by One Parent: 2001-2006 Mother, alone or with other 70.8% Father, alone or with other 29.2% Source: U.S. DHHS Child Maltreatment reports 2001-2006 <p><a href="http://feminismisahatemovement.tumblr.com/post/160554214303/the-us-department-of-health-and-human-services" class="tumblr_blog">feminismisahatemovement</a>:</p> <blockquote><p style=""> The U.S Department of Health and Human Services “Child Maltreatment” reports from 2001-2006, show that of children abused by one parent, 70.6% were abused by their mothers, whereas only 29.4% were abused by their fathers, and of children who died at the hands of one parent, 70.8% were killed by their mothers, whereas only 29.2% were killed by their fathers. <br/></p><p>A common and seemingly reasonable response to this is “well, women, as the primary caregivers, are exposed to children more often, so of course the data would show them as being more often the perpetrators of child abuse, by virtue of frequent exposure.” However, this removes all moral responsibility from the female, essentially citing exposure as an excuse for immoral behavior. <br/></p><p>Exposure does <i>not </i>excuse immoral behavior.<i> “Well, I work at a bank, so of course I had to steal the money.” </i>Adults should be expected to exercise self-control. Whether or not the data would be more balanced if men were more frequently exposed to the children (which we might know, if women didn’t win custody in over 90% of divorce proceedings, and if men weren’t still expected to be the primary financial providers), there still remains a problem, there still remains a victim, and there still remains a perpetrator who must be held accountable for their actions.<br/></p></blockquote> <p>Feminists won’t waste a single opportunity to point out that men more frequently perpetrate domestic violence but when you show them women commit child abuse more frequently you could hear a pin drop.</p>
Being Alone, Children, and Money: Children Killed by One Parent: 2001-2006
 Mother, alone
 or with other
 70.8%
 Father, alone
 or with other
 29.2%
 Source: U.S. DHHS Child Maltreatment reports 2001-2006
<p><a href="http://feminismisahatemovement.tumblr.com/post/160554214303/the-us-department-of-health-and-human-services" class="tumblr_blog">feminismisahatemovement</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p style="">
The
 U.S Department of Health and Human Services “Child Maltreatment” 
reports from 2001-2006, show that of children abused by one parent, 
70.6% were abused by their mothers, whereas only 29.4% were abused by 
their fathers, and of children who died at the hands of one parent, 
70.8% were killed by their mothers, whereas only 29.2% were killed by 
their fathers. <br/></p><p>A common and seemingly reasonable response
 to this is “well, women, as the primary caregivers, are exposed to 
children more often, so of course the data would show them as being more
 often the perpetrators of child abuse, by virtue of frequent exposure.”
 However, this removes all moral responsibility from the female, 
essentially citing exposure as an excuse for immoral behavior. <br/></p><p>Exposure does <i>not </i>excuse immoral behavior.<i> “Well, I work 
at a bank, so of course I had to steal the money.” </i>Adults 
should be expected to exercise self-control. Whether or not the data 
would be more balanced if men were more frequently exposed to the 
children (which we might know, if women didn’t win custody in over 90% 
of divorce proceedings, and if men weren’t still expected to be the 
primary financial providers), there still remains a problem, there still
 remains a victim, and there still remains a perpetrator who must be 
held accountable for their actions.<br/></p></blockquote>

<p>Feminists won’t waste a single opportunity to point out that men more frequently perpetrate domestic violence but when you show them women commit child abuse more frequently you could hear a pin drop.</p>

feminismisahatemovement: The U.S Department of Health and Human Services “Child Maltreatment” reports from 2001-2006, show that of child...

Children, Club, and Creepy: At the end of the road is a big old mansion that could house several families, but it only has two inhabitants: Old, rich Mrs. Poppel and her butler Adam. Mrs. Poppel was never much of a smiler, but there doesn't seem to be a mean bone in her. If children kick a ball into her garden she doesn't make a fuzz, just nods at them and watch as they retrieve it. Most days people can see her embroide own little ring by the window, seemingly caught up in her She is peculiar, but never bothers anyone She's just an old lady who spends her days sowing and socializing at the local book club Tell your sister I hope she gets well soon. Adam is quite different. Always smiling and friendly. Always ready to help if he has the time. He's incredibly popular in town,F not to mention at the pub when he has a few hours off. He drinks, laughs and sings, and can even be talked into playing the guitar if asked enough times. Women love him too, but he just winks at them and jokes that he's committed to Mrs. Poppel. It's his own fault that people started spreading rumors that he was really Mrs s live-in lover who had been put to work around the house Typically Adam he just played along. "I don't kiss and tell" When some drunk lads saw him walk arm in arm with Mrs. Poppel down the street, no doubt to steady her, they teasingly shouted "Taking your sweetheart out fora stroll?!" while making kissing sounds been up to now?" l looked up at him like, "What have you They're an odd pair, but they seem happy together in the big house Pork? Again? I'm sorry, Mrs Im still waiting for a delivery Adam even does things not expected of a butler, like gardening while she rests in a sun chair, which has only added fuel to the rumors SU way, Adam d every once in a while something incredible happens; Mrs smiles. No one knows how Adam does it, but neither is it a surprise to anyone It l An Only one truly odd thing has ever happened to them One night a neighbor saw a man sneaking around the house testing the cellar windows. The bedroom. That's where old ladies keep all the good stuff She didn't see him get in, but suddenly he was gone so she grabbed the phone and called the police, just to be safe. What!? She's still home? That means her boy-toy has to be somewhere in the house too- Huh? Adam opened the door dressed in a robe when the police rang the doorbell. He woke up Mrs. Poppel and together they could confirm that the house hadn't been broken into. The officers couldn't find anything out of the ordinary, but gave Mrs Poppel a number to call if they saw anything The following day a man by the name Eric was reported missing. He had lived a rough life of petty crime and robbery, and sometimes didn't contact his friends or family for weeks so it was impossible to say when exactly he disappears. It could have been that same day, or two weeks prior People wondered if maybe he had been the man sneaking around outside Mrs. Poppel's house, but everyone agreed that it was probably just a coincidence. After all, people like him went missing all the time in the surrounding towns. And even if it was him, what did it matter? Mrs. Poppel and Adam were good eople who were loved by the whole town. There was no reason to cause trouble for them, no matter what their relationship was. Besides, Mrs. Poppel had one of her good weeks after that night, seeming a lot more cheerful and happy. It would be a shame to ruin it. thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/demons? Occultists? Maybe only Adam? So many possibilities. I also struggled a lot with Adam’s looks. I wanted him to look like an honest to god nice, charming guy who also looked super creepy in the right (wrong?) light. There was supposed to be a whole backstory about Mrs. Poppel’s husband and when Adam came into her life, but I decided to leave it out as it was already pretty text heavy.
Children, Club, and Creepy: At the end of the road is a big old mansion that could house several families, but it
 only has two inhabitants: Old, rich Mrs. Poppel and her butler Adam.
 Mrs. Poppel was never much of a smiler, but there doesn't
 seem to be a mean bone in her. If children kick a ball into
 her garden she doesn't make a fuzz, just nods at them and
 watch as they retrieve it. Most days people can see her
 embroide
 own little
 ring by
 the window, seemingly caught up in her
 She is peculiar, but never bothers anyone
 She's just an old lady who spends her days sowing and
 socializing at the local book club
 Tell your sister I hope she gets well soon.
 Adam is quite different. Always smiling and friendly. Always
 ready to help if he has the time. He's incredibly popular in town,F
 not to mention at the pub when he has a few hours off. He
 drinks, laughs and sings, and can even be talked into playing the
 guitar if asked enough times. Women love him too, but he just
 winks at them and jokes that he's committed to Mrs. Poppel.

 It's his own fault that people started spreading rumors that he was really
 Mrs
 s live-in lover who had been put to work around the house
 Typically Adam he just played along. "I don't kiss and tell"
 When some drunk lads saw him walk arm in arm with Mrs. Poppel down the street,
 no doubt to steady her, they teasingly shouted "Taking your sweetheart out fora
 stroll?!" while making kissing sounds
 been up to now?"
 l looked up at him like, "What have you
 They're an odd pair, but they seem
 happy together in the big house
 Pork? Again?
 I'm sorry, Mrs
 Im still waiting
 for a delivery
 Adam even does things not expected
 of a butler, like gardening while she
 rests in a sun chair, which has only
 added fuel to the rumors
 SU
 way, Adam
 d every once in a while something
 incredible happens; Mrs
 smiles. No one knows how Adam
 does it, but neither is it a surprise to
 anyone
 It l
 An
 Only one truly odd thing has ever happened to them
 One night a neighbor saw a man sneaking around the house
 testing the cellar windows.
 The bedroom.
 That's where old ladies keep
 all the good stuff

 She didn't see him get in, but suddenly he was gone so she grabbed the phone and
 called the police, just to be safe.
 What!? She's still home?
 That means her boy-toy has to be
 somewhere in the house too-
 Huh?

 Adam opened the door dressed in a robe when the police rang the doorbell.
 He woke up Mrs. Poppel and together they could confirm that the house hadn't been
 broken into. The officers couldn't find anything out of the ordinary, but gave Mrs
 Poppel a number to call if they saw anything
 The following day a man by the name Eric was reported missing. He had lived a
 rough life of petty crime and robbery, and sometimes didn't contact his friends or
 family for weeks so it was impossible to say when exactly he disappears. It could
 have been that same day, or two weeks prior People wondered if maybe he had
 been the man sneaking around outside Mrs. Poppel's house, but everyone agreed
 that it was probably just a coincidence. After all, people like him went missing all
 the time in the surrounding towns.
 And even if it was him, what did it matter? Mrs. Poppel and Adam were good
 eople who were loved by the whole town. There was no reason to cause trouble for
 them, no matter what their relationship was.

 Besides, Mrs. Poppel had one of her good weeks after that night, seeming a lot more
 cheerful and happy. It would be a shame to ruin it.
thehumon:
I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/demons? Occultists? Maybe only Adam? So many possibilities.
I also struggled a lot with Adam’s looks. I wanted him to look like an honest to god nice, charming guy who also looked super creepy in the right (wrong?) light.
There was supposed to be a whole backstory about Mrs. Poppel’s husband and when Adam came into her life, but I decided to leave it out as it was already pretty text heavy.

thehumon: I’m not entirely sure if this story has a supernatural element to it or not. Are they just run of the mill cannibals or vampires/d...