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    Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread
 Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie
 of its own. Here is the first page.
 BATHAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer.
 He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne.
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney.
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face
 They hate me for being a bat
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home.
 BATMAN (CONT 'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 BATMAN
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power.
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke.
 good guy. It contains a
meirl
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread
 Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie
 of its own. Here is the first page.
 BATHAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer.
 He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne.
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney.
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face
 They hate me for being a bat
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home.
 BATMAN (CONT 'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 BATMAN
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power.
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke.
 good guy. It contains a
meirl
                
            

            
            
meirl

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:
 ok 
so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific. 
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast. 
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!”
Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background 
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss”
shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit. 
“what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures. 
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock. 
The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:
 ok 
so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific. 
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast. 
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!”
Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background 
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss”
shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit. 
“what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures. 
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock. 
The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
                
            

            
            
kaylapocalypse:
 ok 
so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you shou...