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When You Lie On Your Resume
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Bad, Definitely, and Google: //sample ansvers from various interviews 178//Question: Write code to find out if a nunber is odd. 179 //Candidate: Qk give me a minute sounds of typing 180 /Candidate: My ansver is voice changes noticeably from speaking-voice to reading-voice //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 182 //Me suspecting that the candi 183 I/Candidate: It means that ve find the percentage of i in 2 googled it*: ok, and can you explain to me what does that line mean? 2 Why are ve f 14 //I walked the candidate through this code carefully single"in the last two lines. This is a candidate who had 8 years total experience twice. There are no typos, not the " 1", and not the 186 //Me "with a nice voice but nalicious intent* : I understand that it is complicated. Have you ever used this tore //Candidate "with obvious reliet: No,never! This is my first tine using it 18 /Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 100; rtil) 193 194 //Question: Find all the odd numbers between 0-100 //Candidate: I am sorry, I have forgotten the exact formala for finding odd numbers 23 //candidate said that finding only the odd numbers was too difficult, and this nethod will find ALL numbers, so 196 /Candidate: I understand, but I cannot recall the formala, so I cannot find these numbers 27 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 200 /Question: Can you tell me about your professional history? //candidate: I try my absolute best to make ธure that my code does not have too many errors before I take it 29 30 the odd numbers between 0 and 205 /Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of coreot'hinunitt? completely the odd numbers between 0-100 211 I/Me: And if I fixed the syntax errors, will it work then? 213 214 //Me: And why is that2 //Candidate: It has logic errors, too you like //Candidate: I have been programming for 10 years. 5 years as a hobby, and 5 professionally. know PHP, Ruby JS (including both node, angular), MongoDB, Myso, PostgresoL, and more /Me: Nice. What have //candidate: In the 5 years where I worked professionally, I have worked in 4 companies as a webdex. I have multiples sites up, all done from scratch. Some I developed solo, and sone as part of a team. I do both front-end and back-end development. I am ready to tackle any challenge! /Me: ok. using your language of choice, can you find all the odd numbers between 0-1002 7 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betwveen 0-100 you used your skills for? 50 I/I asked the candidate what this code was supposed to do, and the candidate replied: "I do not want to ansver 1 //So I tried again. Same candidate, next question: Find the sun of all integers betveen 0-100 3 //Me:"Ok and if I wanted this done in Javascript? more than this." 222 //Candidate: tries for about 3 minutes 223 I/Candidate: I cannot do this. My skill in mathematics is not high enough 6 I/This was the most experienced candidate, with 19 years of professional experience. Nineteen, no typo. This 226 candidate was programming professionally before many of you were born. /This situation happened with two different candidates. Their responses were worded differently, but the was the same //Me: Ok, I want to ask you a couple of programming questions. Do you have a paper and pen or pencil with you? 0 //Question: Assuming you have two integers, x and y, with y bigger than x. Sum all the numbers from x to y 230 //Me: ok.Using your preferred programming language, find all the odd nunbers between 0 and 1002 Example: If x is 1, and y is 5, then sum 1+2+3+4+5 232 /Me: Yes. Write your code down, and when you are done, read it to me, and then ve can go through it 233 //Candidate: But that is impossible! How can I write code without using a computer? 4+i 237 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100. Note that this was a phone interview 67 //What is happening here? Your guess is as good as mine. Candidate had no idea what this code was supposed to do 239 IMe: I am trying to test your programming skills, not your Google-search skills 240 //Candidate: Baha, right! But İf 1 use Google, how will you know? 241 /Me: I wil1 ask you similar questions in the face-to-face interview 1 //Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13 246 //One of the worst interviews that I had, that made me feel genuinely bad, was this one.I tried to capture the mood of how it went, as I did not get to see any code Some of the actions I describe are what I assume happened on the other end of the phone, based on the sounds that I heard //Me: Greetings! Thanks for letting me interview you. Are you ready and prepared? 247 249 //Me: Alright! Let us start. *İntroductions and a bit of relaxing amantalk, candidate is very cool. Qk, so your resume lists about 5 different programming languages.Are you good in all of them /candidate: I am good in Javaacript and PHP, and ak in Java 81 //Out of curiosity, I asked: "Why is the answer a double?" 82 //Candidate "Because it needs to store the value taken from _two variables. so which is your f 252 //Candidate: Definitely avascript! I did a lot of work in Javascript! 253 /Me: That is good. Can I ask you a question or two in Tavascript 6 //Make a standard deck of cards. Shuftle the deck, and draw two cards at random. Display the two cards Are you 256 //candidate: Yes, yes. I am on the line! ask you a questi can try my best to ansver gentle gloves, ve are not trying to break the candidate Qk. so you know what odd are, right? for (let count Yes Yes,I know odd number 261 /Me: ok. so ny question is this. Using your favourite language, Javascript, can you find all the odd numbers 8 //This was slowly and painstak used for the second part which only had two cards, while no loop was used for the cards... but I decided against the odd numbers ok. Why don't you t then read fter you are //Candidate 'excited and breathless: YES! Yes,yes! scribbling/scratching for about two minutes, then some furious scribbling for a minute, then the fast breathing, but no seribbling sounds 1 1/9uestion: Find all the odd numbers betuween 03 05 assuming x and lieve the candidate put the phone down, and started writing. I could hear some gentl y, someone crossing out many lines on a paper. Then came a minute /Candidate "voice completely broken //Me "making a fatal error of judgement by asking: Is everything ak the odd numbers...uhh think..L the odd... the odd nunbers alm, polite email, much later that this time I regret that I must decline the perplexing, let me Candidate takes the last once to make not, then you add you add odd, then you add 2 Disregarding the sundry minor errors in the code, the logic behind functional, but ribly inefficient two cards at random. Display the two cards 27 var arr-i,2,3, 4,5, 6,7,,9,10,.0K' ar arrl ar two- 36 t (pos arr pos 50 51 52 ition] push (arrti for (wamath finalArr var indexeeArr.indexof (nevArrti] val 72 //Behold this masterpiece! Read it slow and savour every 1ine, for beauties like this come once fetine SWE interview in Saudi Arabia
Bad, Definitely, and Google: //sample ansvers from various interviews
 178//Question: Write code to find out if a nunber is odd.
 179 //Candidate: Qk give me a minute sounds of typing
 180 /Candidate: My ansver is voice changes noticeably from speaking-voice to reading-voice
 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100
 182 //Me suspecting that the candi
 183 I/Candidate: It means that ve find the percentage of i in 2
 googled it*: ok, and can you explain to me what does that line mean?
 2 Why are ve f
 14
 //I walked the candidate through this code carefully
 single"in the last two lines. This is a candidate who had 8 years total experience
 twice. There are no typos, not the " 1", and not the
 186 //Me "with a nice voice but nalicious intent* : I understand that it is complicated. Have you ever used this
 tore
 //Candidate "with obvious reliet: No,never! This is my first tine using it
 18 /Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100
 100;
 rtil)
 193
 194
 //Question: Find all the odd numbers between 0-100
 //Candidate: I am sorry, I have forgotten the exact formala for finding odd numbers
 23 //candidate said that finding only the odd numbers was too difficult, and this nethod will find ALL numbers, so
 196 /Candidate: I understand, but I cannot recall the formala, so I cannot find these numbers
 27
 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100
 200 /Question: Can you tell me about your professional history?
 //candidate: I try my absolute best to make ธure that my code does not have too many errors before I take it
 29
 30
 the odd numbers between 0 and
 205 /Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of
 coreot'hinunitt?
 completely
 the odd numbers between 0-100
 211 I/Me: And if I fixed the syntax errors, will it work then?
 213
 214
 //Me: And why is that2
 //Candidate: It has logic errors, too
 you like
 //Candidate: I have been programming for 10 years. 5 years as a hobby, and 5 professionally. know PHP, Ruby
 JS (including both node, angular), MongoDB, Myso, PostgresoL, and more
 /Me: Nice. What have
 //candidate: In the 5 years where I worked professionally, I have worked in 4 companies as a webdex. I have
 multiples sites up, all done from scratch. Some I developed solo, and sone as part of a team. I do both
 front-end and back-end development. I am ready to tackle any challenge!
 /Me: ok. using your language of choice, can you find all the odd numbers between 0-1002
 7 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betwveen
 0-100
 you used your skills for?
 50 I/I asked the candidate what this code was supposed to do, and the candidate replied: "I do not want to ansver
 1 //So I tried again. Same candidate, next question: Find the sun of all integers betveen 0-100
 3 //Me:"Ok and if I wanted this done in Javascript?
 more than this."
 222 //Candidate: tries for about 3 minutes
 223 I/Candidate: I cannot do this. My skill in mathematics is not high enough
 6 I/This was the most experienced candidate, with 19 years of professional experience. Nineteen, no typo. This
 226
 candidate was programming professionally before many of you were born.
 /This situation happened with two different candidates. Their responses were worded differently, but the
 was the same
 //Me: Ok, I want to ask you a couple of programming questions. Do you have a paper and pen or pencil with you?
 0 //Question: Assuming you have two integers, x and y, with y bigger than x. Sum all the numbers from x to y
 230 //Me: ok.Using your preferred programming language, find all the odd nunbers between 0 and 1002
 Example: If x is 1, and y is 5, then sum 1+2+3+4+5
 232 /Me: Yes. Write your code down, and when you are done, read it to me, and then ve can go through it
 233 //Candidate: But that is impossible! How can I write code without using a computer?
 4+i
 237
 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100. Note that this was a phone interview
 67
 //What is happening here? Your guess is as good as mine. Candidate had no idea what this code was supposed to do
 239 IMe: I am trying to test your programming skills, not your Google-search skills
 240 //Candidate: Baha, right! But İf 1 use Google, how will you know?
 241 /Me: I wil1 ask you similar questions in the face-to-face interview
 1 //Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13
 246
 //One of the worst interviews that I had, that made me feel genuinely bad, was this one.I tried to capture the
 mood of how it went, as I did not get to see any code Some of the actions I describe are what I assume
 happened on the other end of the phone, based on the sounds that I heard
 //Me: Greetings! Thanks for letting me interview you. Are you ready and prepared?
 247
 249
 //Me: Alright! Let us start. *İntroductions and a bit of relaxing amantalk, candidate is very cool. Qk, so
 your resume lists about 5 different programming languages.Are you good in all of them
 /candidate: I am good in Javaacript and PHP, and ak in Java
 81 //Out of curiosity, I asked: "Why is the answer a double?"
 82 //Candidate "Because it needs to store the value taken from _two variables.
 so which is your f
 252 //Candidate: Definitely avascript! I did a lot of work in Javascript!
 253 /Me: That is good. Can I ask you a question or two in Tavascript
 6 //Make a standard deck of cards. Shuftle the deck, and draw two cards at random. Display the two cards
 Are you
 256 //candidate: Yes, yes. I am on the line!
 ask you a questi
 can try my best to ansver
 gentle gloves, ve are not trying to break the candidate
 Qk. so you know what odd
 are, right?
 for (let count
 Yes Yes,I know odd number
 261 /Me: ok. so ny question is this. Using your favourite language, Javascript, can you find all the odd numbers
 8 //This was slowly and painstak
 used for the second part which only had two cards, while no loop was used for the
 cards... but I decided against
 the odd numbers
 ok. Why don't you t
 then read
 fter
 you are
 //Candidate 'excited and breathless: YES! Yes,yes!
 scribbling/scratching for about two minutes, then some furious scribbling for a minute, then the
 fast breathing, but no seribbling sounds
 1 1/9uestion: Find all the odd numbers betuween
 03
 05
 assuming
 x
 and
 lieve the candidate put the phone down, and started writing. I could hear some gentl
 y,
 someone crossing out
 many lines
 on a paper. Then came a minute
 /Candidate "voice completely broken
 //Me "making a fatal error of judgement by asking: Is everything ak
 the odd numbers...uhh
 think..L
 the odd... the odd nunbers
 alm, polite email, much later that
 this time I regret that I must decline the
 perplexing, let me
 Candidate takes the last
 once to make
 not, then you add
 you add
 odd, then you add 2
 Disregarding the sundry minor errors in the code, the logic behind
 functional, but
 ribly inefficient
 two cards at random. Display the two cards
 27 var arr-i,2,3, 4,5, 6,7,,9,10,.0K'
 ar arrl
 ar two-
 36
 t (pos
 arr pos
 50
 51
 52
 ition] push (arrti
 for (wamath
 finalArr
 var indexeeArr.indexof (nevArrti] val
 72 //Behold this masterpiece! Read it slow and savour every 1ine, for beauties like this come once
 fetine
SWE interview in Saudi Arabia

SWE interview in Saudi Arabia

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: ..es lubricates: puddleduck-waffles: seawitchedd: listing my qualifications on my resume Losing my gf at the store and describing her to a stranger need someone like @puddleduck-waffles
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: ..es
lubricates:

puddleduck-waffles:
seawitchedd:

listing my qualifications on my resume

Losing my gf at the store and describing her to a stranger 

need someone like @puddleduck-waffles

lubricates: puddleduck-waffles: seawitchedd: listing my qualifications on my resume Losing my gf at the store and describing her to a str...

Bailey Jay, Family, and Get Money: Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die A lady died this past January, and the bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the Bank Here is the exchange Family Member: am calling to tell you she died back in January Bank The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stil apply. Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.' Family Member So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Bank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance. Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member from her estate?' Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given) Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given) You mean you want to collect After they get the fax Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help. Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care. Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?1?) Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Bank: That might help... Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery ! Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet? ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. She didn’t need to pay. When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility. In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will. Debts and Deceased Relatives Here’s a link to the detail on that one. Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money They really do. My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.” Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN. If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off. Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.
Bailey Jay, Family, and Get Money: Cancel Your Credit Card Before
 You Die
 A lady died this past January, and the bank billed
 her for February and March for their annual service
 charges on her credit card, and added late fees and
 interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
 been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere
 around $60.00. A family member placed a call to
 the Bank

 Here is the exchange
 Family Member: am calling to tell you she died
 back in January
 Bank The account was never closed and the late
 fees and charges stil apply.
 Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to
 collections.
 Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already
 has been.'
 Family Member So, what will they do when they
 find out she is dead?'
 Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division
 or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
 Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at
 her?'
 Bank: 'Excuse me?'

 Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was
 telling you -
 the part about her being dead?'
 Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
 Supervisor gets on the phone:
 Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died
 back in January with a $0 balance.
 Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees
 and charges still apply.'
 Family Member
 from her estate?'
 Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
 Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew.
 (Lawyer info was given)
 Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
 Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given)
 You mean you want to collect

 After they get the fax
 Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death.
 I don't know what more I can do to help.
 Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great!
 If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't
 care.
 Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still
 apply.
 (What is wrong with these people?1?)
 Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing
 address?'
 Bank: That might help...
 Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery
 Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
 Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery !
 Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead
 people on your planet?
ohgoditsneph:

niniblack:

eudoxiav:


lawful-evil-novelist:

theludicrousrival:


billiam-spockspeare:
Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay

One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” 
On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. 


She didn’t need to pay.  When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility.
In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will.
Debts and Deceased Relatives
Here’s a link to the detail on that one.


Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money


They really do. 
My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.”
Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. 

DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN.

If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off.

Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.

ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your...