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🔥 | Latest

Reached: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Reached: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Reached: The Trevor Moore O @itrevormoore Tmes TREDOR moORE Remember. Kevin McCallister could have phoned the police at any time. He was a child who had accidentally been left alone. One call and he would have been safe. But it was never about safety. He was hunting those men. He wanted them to die. It was fun for him. He enjoyed it. bisexualhennessy: foxyclock: orgyporgy: shittymoviedetails: Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander. FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse #he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs)  Also the police in that movie are hilariously inept. Kevin‘s mom contacts them to do a wellness check on her eight-year-old son who is home alone and for them that consists of casually wandering down to the house, knocking once, and then when nobody answers instead of considering the very real possibility that a frightened young boy might not open the door right away, they just assume everything‘s fine and the mom is just crazy and they fuck right off.
Reached: The
 Trevor Moore O
 @itrevormoore
 Tmes
 TREDOR
 moORE
 Remember. Kevin McCallister could
 have phoned the police at any time. He
 was a child who had accidentally been
 left alone. One call and he would have
 been safe. But it was never about safety.
 He was hunting those men. He wanted
 them to die. It was fun for him. He
 enjoyed it.
bisexualhennessy:

foxyclock:

orgyporgy:

shittymoviedetails:
Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone
The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander. 


FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse

#he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs) 

Also the police in that movie are hilariously inept. Kevin‘s mom contacts them to do a wellness check on her eight-year-old son who is home alone and for them that consists of casually wandering down to the house, knocking once, and then when nobody answers instead of considering the very real possibility that a frightened young boy might not open the door right away, they just assume everything‘s fine and the mom is just crazy and they fuck right off.

bisexualhennessy: foxyclock: orgyporgy: shittymoviedetails: Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone The movie establishes that the pho...

Reached: Saving Your Grades From A Mental Health Crisis What To Do Before, During, And After by SmartStudy.tumblr.com IF YOUR GRADES ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER CONTACT YOUR TEACHERS This should be the first thing you do when you realise you're in crisis. Email them, and explain your situation in short, professional terms. You do not have to include details about your condition. "I have a mental health condition" should suffice as to the nature of the issue. Tell them that you are going to arrange to see a medical professional as soon as possible, and ask what process you should go through to defer/get an extension on assessment, and if they can help you in any way. Other people you may have to contact or CC in the email (depending on your school): University High School Head of House Class Coordinator Faculty/School Admin Disability Advisor Grade Coordinator Head of Department Academic Admin Counsellor School Counsellor Student Advocate BOOK A DOCTOR/THERAPIST APPOINTMENT ASAP This will be the person who can vouch for you the most. It's best if you have seen them before and they know you. If you can't get an appointment within a few days, call them and email them (if you haven't seen them before this will not work). Make sure to check out what counselling your university or school offers. During this appointment, the priority is to make a plan to get you back on your feet. This effort will not be useful if you stay a mess. Once you've figured that out, get two things from this person. One is a medical certificate/letter stating that you have, in fact, been going through this crisis. Second is a letter that describes the nature of the crisis, what treatment you're going through, and which people to contact (psychiatrists, etc.) who can vouch for this. Note: The reason I say to get two letters is because there is still a huge stigma around mental illness, and you don't want to reveal that you've got a disorder that's highly stigmatised, only to have it come back and bite you in the ass later. Don't provide details unless it's necessary or asked for. A STUDENT KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AS Most schools and institutions will have a list of a student's rights and responsibilities online. Look them up. Know what your rights are as a student. Also look to see if there are state/national laws protecting you, or if your school is a part of a network of schools that has its own code. Some people working in schools still think mental health issues are trivial, and you never know when they're going to ignore a rule to suit themselves. Make sure you can pick on this if it happens to you. Pretty much all schools will have protection in place for students with mental illnesses and disabilities, so even if you a miss a deadline for a form or make another mistake, they should take your exceptional circumstances into account. This is where a student or disability advisor from school can help you. ottom IF YOU HAVEN'T REACHED CRISIS YET TALK TO A DOCTOR/THERAPIST/COUNSELLOR/TRUSTED ADULT If you're going through a hard time, talk to someone who can help you. Any trusted adult or professional can help you get back on your feet before it's too late, or refer you to someone who can. If it's a new issue, you'll have to see someone like a GP who can refer you to a therapist or mental health service. Talk to them about what's been happening, and say that you need help. Sometimes, even talking about the problem can help you feel better. In these situations, they can also help you figure out what you can do at school to catch up/get special help. FIGURE OUT HOW TO STUDY WHILE IN A BAD STATE Even if you're getting help, it might be some time before you're fully back on track. In these instances, try to make the best of a bad situation. Can't leave the house? Access lecture recordings and eBooks. Ask your friends to send you their notes, or ask the teacher if you can submit your homework via email, or through a friend. Have trouble concentrating? Figure out how long you can study without needing a break, and make a schedule around that. Always make sure to ask your teachers if they can help you with this. Whether it be slightly changing the requirements or conditions of a piece of assessment, or simply their understanding that you may not be able to attend perfectly, it can make a big difference with your overall marks. If they don't know you're struggling, they can't help! DON'T PUSH YOURSELF OR OVERTHINK When you realise there's an issue, it's easy to fall into panic or try to power through. Don't do this. It'll just make you more stressed and aggravate the existing problems, which will make things much worse in the long run. Though it's hard to believe sometimes, your health and mental health are more important than your grades. You can't ignore your mind when it's screaming at you that something is wrong. Listen to it, and be easy on yourself. The best way to get back to your full potential to ask for help and give yourself what you need. Take a break when you need one and practise self-care. It's more important than you might things. RECOVERING FROM A BREAKDOWN ACCEPT THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING MAJOR Once the worst has passed, some people try to brush it off and pretend it never happened. They can feel ashamed or embarrassed about what they went through. However, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, especially if you had a pre-existing mental health condition. Every life has ups and downs and just because yours were a bit more serious than some people's, it doesn't mean that you're weak somehow. The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognise what happened, and work to prevent it from happening again by setting up crisis plans and support networks. GET TUTORING TO CATCH UP If you've fallen behind, don't worry. There are plenty of ways to catch yourself up and get back on track. The best way is to hire a tutor. They can guide you through the work, help you understand difficult concepts, and identify the places you need more help. Yes, tutors can be expensive, but there's a way to get around this. See if there is anyone who took your class the year before who might be willing to tutor you for an hour each week for a discounted prince. Similarly, see if there are any students who can help you in exchange for something like instrument lessons. And if any of your friends are academically gifted, I'm sure they'd be able to help. If all else fails, go to office hours and any free tutoring sessions your school or university offers. Do some research, ask around, see what's there. PACE YOURSELF AND DON'T RUSH IN After a breakdown or crisis, you may be tempted to throw yourself back into your work to catch up. Don't! You'll become overwhelmed and end up back at square one. Remember, you've just been through a very difficult situation and you're not going to get better overnight. Ease yourself in. I definitely recommend starting with a reduced or part-time study load if possible. Remember that you may not be back at your full capacity just yet, and difficulties concentrating and being motivated could make things hard. By starting off slowly, you're able to get used to studying again without too much pressure. DEVELOP A ROUTINE Yes, this advice is in every piece of study advice ever, but you shouldn't develop just any routine. Develop one that allows you plenty of breaks and takes into consider any issues you may have with fatigue or focusing. If your breakdown was caused by overwork, make sure this one is easier on you. Things to include you could include in a healthy routine (but don't micromanage!): "I feel crap" time* Breaks and meals Plenty of sleep and rest "You" time (treat yo self) Time to plan for the next week Exercise (have you tried yoga? Kidding) Meditation/mindfulness Friend/family social time * Remember that the thoughts and feelings caused by mental illness are not shameful, and ignoring and forcing them down will only make them worse. If you need to lie in bed feeling miserable, do it. THINGS TO REMEMBER DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS It can be easy to look at other people and see your own flaws, but it's important to try not to. Every person has different experiences and struggles, so it's not fair to yourself to look at someone without yours and think you're behind in some way. Taking longer to complete your studies isn't shameful. Making mistakes isn't shameful. Needing breaks isn't shameful. You'll get where you need to be in the end. Have patience. GRADES DON'T DEFINE YOU I spent so much of my life thinking my only worth came from my academic success. And guess what? This just led to more anxiety and depression. It's important to realise that things like grades, class rankings, GPAS, and "intelligence" aren't that important. Who you are and what you do is far more important than these arbitrary labels. THERE IS A STIGMA, SO BE PREPARED It's an unfortunate reality, but there is still a stigma against mental health issues and there is a chance it might affect your experiences while dealing with administrative staff and teachers. There have been stories about people telling their people supposed to be guiding them that they have mental health issues, and being dismissed because "it's a girl issue" or "it's all in their head". Be prepared in case this happens to you. Remind people that it's a medical condition and that you can get proof from medical professionals if need be. Plus, there is probably something in your school's policies or even the law that protects you when you have a mental illness. Remember that just because people are ignorant, that doesn't mean your issue is not 100% real and important. Don't let these people make you feel worse. YOU CAN DO THIS In our darkest moments, it can be hard to believe that we're capable of immense strength, but I promise you we are. Whatever obstacle is in your path right now - even if it's your brain chemistry - you are going to get through this. You've made it through every worst day you've had so far. You've made it through the dark and scary moments, and you've come out the other end stronger and wiser. Remember that you are strong, and even when you don't feel like it, there is always support available to help you realise that strength again. tmblimteom apricot-studies: smartstudy: Hey guys. I’m glad to be finally posting my “mental breakdown survival guide”. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, I’ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you don’t have to go through what I’ve been through. Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them. And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me. thank you so much for this
Reached: Saving Your Grades From
 A Mental Health Crisis
 What To Do Before, During, And After
 by SmartStudy.tumblr.com

 IF YOUR GRADES ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER
 CONTACT YOUR TEACHERS
 This should be the first thing you do when you realise you're in crisis. Email them, and explain your
 situation in short, professional terms. You do not have to include details about your condition. "I have
 a mental health condition" should suffice as to the nature of the issue.
 Tell them that you are going to arrange to see a medical professional as soon as possible, and ask what
 process you should go through to defer/get an extension on assessment, and if they can help you in
 any way.
 Other people you may have to contact or CC in the email (depending on your school):
 University
 High School
 Head of House
 Class Coordinator
 Faculty/School Admin
 Disability Advisor
 Grade Coordinator
 Head of Department
 Academic Admin
 Counsellor
 School Counsellor
 Student Advocate
 BOOK A DOCTOR/THERAPIST APPOINTMENT ASAP
 This will be the person who can vouch for you the most. It's best if you have seen them before and
 they know you. If you can't get an appointment within a few days, call them and email them (if you
 haven't seen them before this will not work). Make sure to check out what counselling your university
 or school offers.
 During this appointment, the priority is to make a plan to get you back on your feet. This effort will
 not be useful if you stay a mess. Once you've figured that out, get two things from this person. One is
 a medical certificate/letter stating that you have, in fact, been going through this crisis. Second is a
 letter that describes the nature of the crisis, what treatment you're going through, and which people
 to contact (psychiatrists, etc.) who can vouch for this.
 Note: The reason I say to get two letters is because there is still a huge stigma around mental illness,
 and you don't want to reveal that you've got a disorder that's highly stigmatised, only to have it come
 back and bite you in the ass later. Don't provide details unless it's necessary or asked for.
 A STUDENT
 KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AS
 Most schools and institutions will have a list of a student's rights and responsibilities online. Look them
 up. Know what your rights are as a student. Also look to see if there are state/national laws protecting
 you, or if your school is a part of a network of schools that has its own code. Some people working in
 schools still think mental health issues are trivial, and you never know when they're going to ignore a
 rule to suit themselves. Make sure you can pick on this if it happens to you.
 Pretty much all schools will have protection in place for students with mental illnesses and disabilities,
 so even if you a miss a deadline for a form or make another mistake, they should take your exceptional
 circumstances into account. This is where a student or disability advisor from school can help you.
 ottom

 IF YOU HAVEN'T REACHED CRISIS YET
 TALK TO A DOCTOR/THERAPIST/COUNSELLOR/TRUSTED ADULT
 If you're going through a hard time, talk to someone who can help you. Any trusted adult or
 professional can help you get back on your feet before it's too late, or refer you to someone who can.
 If it's a new issue, you'll have to see someone like a GP who can refer you to a therapist or mental
 health service.
 Talk to them about what's been happening, and say that you need help. Sometimes, even talking
 about the problem can help you feel better. In these situations, they can also help you figure out what
 you can do at school to catch up/get special help.
 FIGURE OUT HOW TO STUDY WHILE IN A BAD STATE
 Even if you're getting help, it might be some time before you're fully back on track. In these instances,
 try to make the best of a bad situation.
 Can't leave the house? Access lecture recordings and eBooks. Ask your friends to send you their notes,
 or ask the teacher if you can submit your homework via email, or through a friend. Have trouble
 concentrating? Figure out how long you can study without needing a break, and make a schedule
 around that.
 Always make sure to ask your teachers if they can help you with this. Whether it be slightly changing
 the requirements or conditions of a piece of assessment, or simply their understanding that you may
 not be able to attend perfectly, it can make a big difference with your overall marks. If they don't know
 you're struggling, they can't help!
 DON'T PUSH YOURSELF OR OVERTHINK
 When you realise there's an issue, it's easy to fall into panic or try to power through. Don't do this. It'll
 just make you more stressed and aggravate the existing problems, which will make things much worse
 in the long run.
 Though it's hard to believe sometimes, your health and mental health are more important than your
 grades. You can't ignore your mind when it's screaming at you that something is wrong. Listen to it,
 and be easy on yourself.
 The best way to get back to your full potential to ask for help and give yourself what you need. Take a
 break when you need one and practise self-care. It's more important than you might things.

 RECOVERING FROM A BREAKDOWN
 ACCEPT THAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING MAJOR
 Once the worst has passed, some people try to brush it off and pretend it never happened. They can
 feel ashamed or embarrassed about what they went through. However, there is absolutely nothing to
 be ashamed or embarrassed about, especially if you had a pre-existing mental health condition. Every
 life has ups and downs and just because yours were a bit more serious than some people's, it doesn't
 mean that you're weak somehow.
 The best thing you can do for yourself is to recognise what happened, and work to prevent it from
 happening again by setting up crisis plans and support networks.
 GET TUTORING TO CATCH UP
 If you've fallen behind, don't worry. There are plenty of ways to catch yourself up and get back on
 track. The best way is to hire a tutor. They can guide you through the work, help you understand
 difficult concepts, and identify the places you need more help.
 Yes, tutors can be expensive, but there's a way to get around this. See if there is anyone who took
 your class the year before who might be willing to tutor you for an hour each week for a discounted
 prince. Similarly, see if there are any students who can help you in exchange for something like
 instrument lessons. And if any of your friends are academically gifted, I'm sure they'd be able to help.
 If all else fails, go to office hours and any free tutoring sessions your school or university offers. Do
 some research, ask around, see what's there.
 PACE YOURSELF AND DON'T RUSH IN
 After a breakdown or crisis, you may be tempted to throw yourself back into your work to catch up.
 Don't! You'll become overwhelmed and end up back at square one. Remember, you've just been
 through a very difficult situation and you're not going to get better overnight.
 Ease yourself in. I definitely recommend starting with a reduced or part-time study load if possible.
 Remember that you may not be back at your full capacity just yet, and difficulties concentrating and
 being motivated could make things hard. By starting off slowly, you're able to get used to studying
 again without too much pressure.
 DEVELOP A ROUTINE
 Yes, this advice is in every piece of study advice ever, but you shouldn't develop just any routine.
 Develop one that allows you plenty of breaks and takes into consider any issues you may have with
 fatigue or focusing. If your breakdown was caused by overwork, make sure this one is easier on you.
 Things to include you could include in a healthy routine (but don't micromanage!):
 "I feel crap" time*
 Breaks and meals
 Plenty of sleep and rest
 "You" time (treat yo self)
 Time to plan for the next week
 Exercise (have you tried yoga? Kidding)
 Meditation/mindfulness
 Friend/family social time
 * Remember that the thoughts and feelings caused by mental illness are not shameful, and ignoring
 and forcing them down will only make them worse. If you need to lie in bed feeling miserable, do it.

 THINGS TO REMEMBER
 DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
 It can be easy to look at other people and see your own flaws, but it's important to try not to. Every
 person has different experiences and struggles, so it's not fair to yourself to look at someone without
 yours and think you're behind in some way.
 Taking longer to complete your studies isn't shameful. Making mistakes isn't shameful. Needing
 breaks isn't shameful. You'll get where you need to be in the end. Have patience.
 GRADES DON'T DEFINE YOU
 I spent so much of my life thinking my only worth came from my academic success. And guess what?
 This just led to more anxiety and depression. It's important to realise that things like grades, class
 rankings, GPAS, and "intelligence" aren't that important. Who you are and what you do is far more
 important than these arbitrary labels.
 THERE IS A STIGMA, SO BE PREPARED
 It's an unfortunate reality, but there is still a stigma against mental health issues and there is a chance
 it might affect your experiences while dealing with administrative staff and teachers. There have been
 stories about people telling their people supposed to be guiding them that they have mental health
 issues, and being dismissed because "it's a girl issue" or "it's all in their head".
 Be prepared in case this happens to you. Remind people that it's a medical condition and that you can
 get proof from medical professionals if need be. Plus, there is probably something in your school's
 policies or even the law that protects you when you have a mental illness.
 Remember that just because people are ignorant, that doesn't mean your issue is not 100% real and
 important. Don't let these people make you feel worse.
 YOU CAN DO THIS
 In our darkest moments, it can be hard to believe that we're capable of immense strength, but I
 promise you we are. Whatever obstacle is in your path right now - even if it's your brain chemistry -
 you are going to get through this.
 You've made it through every worst day you've had so far. You've made it through the dark and scary
 moments, and you've come out the other end stronger and wiser.
 Remember that you are strong, and even when you don't feel like it, there is always support available
 to help you realise that strength again.
 tmblimteom
apricot-studies:
smartstudy:

Hey guys. I’m glad to be finally posting my “mental breakdown survival guide”. As you know I struggle a lot with mental health, and so I have been through a lot of breakdowns. So many that I actually dropped out of university after 3 weeks in 2016 and had to take the whole year off. Because of this, I’ve made it my mission to help others with mental health issues as much as I can, so you don’t have to go through what I’ve been through.
Anyway, here is my guide. I tried to keep it general, and actually useful. If you have any questions or additions please feel free to add them. 
And as ever, if you want to talk to me about studying with mental illness or want to see a post on a specific topic, please feel free to message me. 

thank you so much for this

apricot-studies: smartstudy: Hey guys. I’m glad to be finally posting my “mental breakdown survival guide”. As you know I struggle a lot...

Reached: Agent of Chaos @TheTrillAC 1d My children will get "privacy" from me when they can pay their own bills and feed themselves. Until then, you do what I say Ain't shit negotiable. We not friends. t 394 687 1,171 Mermaid Hofessional @StarStuffSister Replying to @TheTrillAC I haven't spoken to my mother in ten years. Welcome to your future. 20:29 06 Nov 19 Twitter for Android marzipanandminutiae: greysonderulo: dragonsspire: knight-nick: If you think like that, please don’t ever have children. Listen, my parents installed a lock on my door so I could lock everyone out of my room if I wanted to at sometime around 8 years old. They had a key of course for safety but they’ve never had to use it and they’ve never used it when they didn’t have to. I was allowed full access to any books, movies, and internet I wanted fully informed about our family beliefs and practices but I was given no supervision once I reached about 13 because my parents trusted me to stick to the rules or not as I felt and come to them if there was anything that I had questions about. As long as I said where I was going, who I was with, and when I was going to be back and then phone if anything changed I was allowed to do pretty much as I pleased from 13 onward. I moved back in with my parents after university and the first conversation we had was my dad telling me that if I felt like they were treating me like a child to please tell them because they had no intention of doing so. I still live with them and I’m comfortable here as an adult. When I eventually move out again, which I feel no rush to do because I feel respected and given more than enough elbow room, I will probably talk to them often if not everyday. Because they’ve always respected my privacy and my autonomy both physically and emotionally. If you want an independent and fictional child trusting them and giving them their space will do you many more favours than not. meanwhile, my parents… password protected my computer so i had to get permission every time i wanted to use it put a passcode lock on our pantry so we couldn’t eat without permission regularly checked our internet browsing history shut off the internet at regular intervals, including when i needed it for university homework did monthly checks of our bank statements and would confiscate money if they didn’t approve of our activities in response, i went behind their backs and opened a new bank account, got a secret job, bought my own groceries, and used the wifi from the school across the street. they didn’t succeed in disciplining me. all they did was force me to distance myself from them. your children are not your property. they are human beings, and they deserve basic human rights. nothing in this world teaches you to lie and sneak around like a parent who doesn’t believe you should have privacy
Reached: Agent of Chaos @TheTrillAC 1d
 My children will get "privacy" from me
 when they can pay their own bills and
 feed themselves. Until then, you do what I
 say
 Ain't shit negotiable. We not friends.
 t 394
 687
 1,171
 Mermaid Hofessional
 @StarStuffSister
 Replying to @TheTrillAC
 I haven't spoken to my mother in
 ten years.
 Welcome to your future.
 20:29 06 Nov 19 Twitter for Android
marzipanandminutiae:

greysonderulo:
dragonsspire:


knight-nick:
If you think like that, please don’t ever have children. 
Listen, my parents installed a lock on my door so I could lock everyone out of my room if I wanted to at sometime around 8 years old. They had a key of course for safety but they’ve never had to use it and they’ve never used it when they didn’t have to. 
I was allowed full access to any books, movies, and internet I wanted fully informed about our family beliefs and practices but I was given no supervision once I reached about 13 because my parents trusted me to stick to the rules or not as I felt and come to them if there was anything that I had questions about. 
As long as I said where I was going, who I was with, and when I was going to be back and then phone if anything changed I was allowed to do pretty much as I pleased from 13 onward. 
I moved back in with my parents after university and the first conversation  we had was my dad telling me that if I felt like they were treating me like a child to please tell them because they had no intention of doing so. 
I still live with them and I’m comfortable here as an adult. When I eventually move out again, which I feel no rush to do because I feel respected and given more than enough elbow room, I will probably talk to them often if not everyday. Because they’ve always respected my privacy and my autonomy both physically and emotionally. If you want an independent and fictional child trusting them and giving them their space will do you many more favours than not. 


meanwhile, my parents…
password protected my computer so i had to get permission every time i wanted to use it
put a passcode lock on our pantry so we couldn’t eat without permission
regularly checked our internet browsing history
shut off the internet at regular intervals, including when i needed it for university homework
did monthly checks of our bank statements and would confiscate money if they didn’t approve of our activities
in response, i went behind their backs and opened a new bank account, got a secret job, bought my own groceries, and used the wifi from the school across the street. they didn’t succeed in disciplining me. all they did was force me to distance myself from them.
your children are not your property. they are human beings, and they deserve basic human rights.

nothing in this world teaches you to lie and sneak around like a parent who doesn’t believe you should have privacy

marzipanandminutiae: greysonderulo: dragonsspire: knight-nick: If you think like that, please don’t ever have children. Listen, my pa...

Reached: Agent of Chaos @TheTrillAC 1d My children will get "privacy" from me when they can pay their own bills and feed themselves. Until then, you do what I say Ain't shit negotiable. We not friends. t 394 687 1,171 Mermaid Hofessional @StarStuffSister Replying to @TheTrillAC I haven't spoken to my mother in ten years. Welcome to your future. 20:29 06 Nov 19 Twitter for Android greysonderulo: dragonsspire: knight-nick: If you think like that, please don’t ever have children. Listen, my parents installed a lock on my door so I could lock everyone out of my room if I wanted to at sometime around 8 years old. They had a key of course for safety but they’ve never had to use it and they’ve never used it when they didn’t have to. I was allowed full access to any books, movies, and internet I wanted fully informed about our family beliefs and practices but I was given no supervision once I reached about 13 because my parents trusted me to stick to the rules or not as I felt and come to them if there was anything that I had questions about. As long as I said where I was going, who I was with, and when I was going to be back and then phone if anything changed I was allowed to do pretty much as I pleased from 13 onward. I moved back in with my parents after university and the first conversation we had was my dad telling me that if I felt like they were treating me like a child to please tell them because they had no intention of doing so. I still live with them and I’m comfortable here as an adult. When I eventually move out again, which I feel no rush to do because I feel respected and given more than enough elbow room, I will probably talk to them often if not everyday. Because they’ve always respected my privacy and my autonomy both physically and emotionally. If you want an independent and fictional child trusting them and giving them their space will do you many more favours than not. meanwhile, my parents… password protected my computer so i had to get permission every time i wanted to use it put a passcode lock on our pantry so we couldn’t eat without permission regularly checked our internet browsing history shut off the internet at regular intervals, including when i needed it for university homework did monthly checks of our bank statements and would confiscate money if they didn’t approve of our activities in response, i went behind their backs and opened a new bank account, got a secret job, bought my own groceries, and used the wifi from the school across the street. they didn’t succeed in disciplining me. all they did was force me to distance myself from them. your children are not your property. they are human beings, and they deserve basic human rights.
Reached: Agent of Chaos @TheTrillAC 1d
 My children will get "privacy" from me
 when they can pay their own bills and
 feed themselves. Until then, you do what I
 say
 Ain't shit negotiable. We not friends.
 t 394
 687
 1,171
 Mermaid Hofessional
 @StarStuffSister
 Replying to @TheTrillAC
 I haven't spoken to my mother in
 ten years.
 Welcome to your future.
 20:29 06 Nov 19 Twitter for Android
greysonderulo:
dragonsspire:


knight-nick:
If you think like that, please don’t ever have children. 
Listen, my parents installed a lock on my door so I could lock everyone out of my room if I wanted to at sometime around 8 years old. They had a key of course for safety but they’ve never had to use it and they’ve never used it when they didn’t have to. 
I was allowed full access to any books, movies, and internet I wanted fully informed about our family beliefs and practices but I was given no supervision once I reached about 13 because my parents trusted me to stick to the rules or not as I felt and come to them if there was anything that I had questions about. 
As long as I said where I was going, who I was with, and when I was going to be back and then phone if anything changed I was allowed to do pretty much as I pleased from 13 onward. 
I moved back in with my parents after university and the first conversation  we had was my dad telling me that if I felt like they were treating me like a child to please tell them because they had no intention of doing so. 
I still live with them and I’m comfortable here as an adult. When I eventually move out again, which I feel no rush to do because I feel respected and given more than enough elbow room, I will probably talk to them often if not everyday. Because they’ve always respected my privacy and my autonomy both physically and emotionally. If you want an independent and fictional child trusting them and giving them their space will do you many more favours than not. 


meanwhile, my parents…
password protected my computer so i had to get permission every time i wanted to use it
put a passcode lock on our pantry so we couldn’t eat without permission
regularly checked our internet browsing history
shut off the internet at regular intervals, including when i needed it for university homework
did monthly checks of our bank statements and would confiscate money if they didn’t approve of our activities
in response, i went behind their backs and opened a new bank account, got a secret job, bought my own groceries, and used the wifi from the school across the street. they didn’t succeed in disciplining me. all they did was force me to distance myself from them.
your children are not your property. they are human beings, and they deserve basic human rights.

greysonderulo: dragonsspire: knight-nick: If you think like that, please don’t ever have children. Listen, my parents installed a lock...

Reached: vaspider: shaaknaa: emi–rose: osberend: iopele: suspendnodisbelief: naamahdarling: optimysticals: youwantmuchmore: thebestoftumbling: golden eagle having a relaxing time This is the world’s largest flying Engine of Murder marveling at the fact that it can actually have its tummy rubbed. I feel like this is the next step up on “loose your fingers” roulette from petting a kittie’s tummy, but just below belly rubs for say a lion. Can someone who knows birds better than I do tell me whether this eagle is as happy as it looks?  Because I want it to be happy.  It looks so happy.  Bewildered by having a friend, but so happy. Just popping on this thread to confirm: yes, the eagle is happy about the belly rubs. Golden eagles make this sound when receiving allopreening and similar affectionate and soothing treatment from their parents and mates. It’s the “I am safe and well fed, and somebody familiar is taking good care of me” sound. Angry raptors and wounded raptors make some pretty dramatic hisses and shrieks; frightened raptors go dead silent and try to hide if they can, or fluff up big and get loud and in-your-face if hiding isn’t an option. They can easily sever a finger or break the bones of a human hand or wrist, and even with a very thick leather falconer’s gauntlet, I’ve known falconers to leave a mews (hawk house) with graphic punctures THROUGH the gauntlet into the meat of their hands and arms, just from buteos and kestrels way smaller than this eagle. A pissed off hawk will make damn sure you don’t try twice whatever you pulled that pissed her off, even if she’s been human-imprinted. If you’re ever unsure about an animal’s level of okayness with something that’s happening, there are three spot-check questions you can ask, to common-sense your way through it: 1. Is the animal capable of defending itself or making a threatening or fearful display, or otherwise giving protest, and if so, is it using this ability? (e.g. dog snarling or biting, swan hissing, horse kicking or biting) 2. Does the animal experience an incentive-based relationship with the human? (i.e. does the animal have a reason, in the animal’s frame of reference, for being near this human? e.g. dog sharing companionship / food / shelter, hawk receiving good quality abundant food and shelter and medical care from a falconer) 3. Is the animal a domesticated species, with at least a full century of consistent species cohabitation with humans? (Domesticated animals frequently are conditioned from birth or by selective breeding to be unbothered by human actions that upset their feral nearest relatives.) In this situation, YES the eagle can self-defend, YES the eagle has incentive to cooperate with and trust the human handler, and NO the eagle is not a domesticated species, meaning we can expect a high level of reactivity to distress, compared to domestic animals: if the eagle was distressed, it would be pretty visible and apparent to the viewer. These aren’t a universally applicable metric, but they’re a good start for mammal and bird interactions. Pair that with the knowledge that eagles reserve those chirps for calm environments, and you can be pretty secure and comfy in the knowledge that the big honkin’ birb is happy and cozy. Also, to anybody wondering, falconers are almost single-handedly responsible for the recovery from near-extinction of several raptor species, including and especially peregrine falcons. Most hawks only live with the falconer for a year, and most of that year is spent getting the bird in ideal condition for survival and success as a wild breeding adult. Falconers are extensively trained and dedicated wildlife conservationists, pretty much by definition, especially in the continental USA, and they make up an unspeakably important part of the overall conservation of predatory bird species. Predatory birds are an important part of every ecosystem they inhabit. Just like apiarists and their bees, the relationship between falconer and hawk is one of great benefit to the animal and the ecosystem, in exchange for a huge amount of time, effort, expense, and education on the part of the human, for very little personal benefit to that one human. It’s definitely not exploitation of the bird, and most hawks working with falconers are hawks who absolutely would not have reached adulthood without human help: the sick, the injured, and the “runts” of the nest who don’t receive adequate resources from their own parents. These are, by and large, wonderful people who are in love with the natural world and putting a lifetime of knowledge and sheer exhausting work into conserving it and its winged wonders. reblogged for excellent info, I’m so glad that big gorgeous birb really is as happy as it looks! Today’s bit of positive activism: A reminder that, although the world may contain many bad and awful things, it also contains an enormous winged predator clucking happily as a human gives it a belly rub. @marywhal is bird-cat!! @vaspider birb
Reached: vaspider:
shaaknaa:


emi–rose:


osberend:

iopele:

suspendnodisbelief:

naamahdarling:

optimysticals:

youwantmuchmore:

thebestoftumbling:



golden eagle having a relaxing time



This is the world’s largest flying Engine of Murder marveling at the fact that it can actually have its tummy rubbed.

I feel like this is the next step up on “loose your fingers” roulette from petting a kittie’s tummy, but just below belly rubs for say a lion.

Can someone who knows birds better than I do tell me whether this eagle is as happy as it looks?  Because I want it to be happy.  It looks so happy.  Bewildered by having a friend, but so happy.

Just popping on this thread to confirm: yes, the eagle is happy about the belly rubs. Golden eagles make this sound when receiving allopreening and similar affectionate and soothing treatment from their parents and mates. It’s the “I am safe and well fed, and somebody familiar is taking good care of me” sound. Angry raptors and wounded raptors make some pretty dramatic hisses and shrieks; frightened raptors go dead silent and try to hide if they can, or fluff up big and get loud and in-your-face if hiding isn’t an option. They can easily sever a finger or break the bones of a human hand or wrist, and even with a very thick leather falconer’s gauntlet, I’ve known falconers to leave a mews (hawk house) with graphic punctures THROUGH the gauntlet into the meat of their hands and arms, just from buteos and kestrels way smaller than this eagle. A pissed off hawk will make damn sure you don’t try twice whatever you pulled that pissed her off, even if she’s been human-imprinted.
If you’re ever unsure about an animal’s level of okayness with something that’s happening, there are three spot-check questions you can ask, to common-sense your way through it:
1. Is the animal capable of defending itself or making a threatening or fearful display, or otherwise giving protest, and if so, is it using this ability? (e.g. dog snarling or biting, swan hissing, horse kicking or biting) 2. Does the animal experience an incentive-based relationship with the human? (i.e. does the animal have a reason, in the animal’s frame of reference, for being near this human? e.g. dog sharing companionship / food / shelter, hawk receiving good quality abundant food and shelter and medical care from a falconer)
3. Is the animal a domesticated species, with at least a full century of consistent species cohabitation with humans? (Domesticated animals frequently are conditioned from birth or by selective breeding to be unbothered by human actions that upset their feral nearest relatives.)
In this situation, YES the eagle can self-defend, YES the eagle has incentive to cooperate with and trust the human handler, and NO the eagle is not a domesticated species, meaning we can expect a high level of reactivity to distress, compared to domestic animals: if the eagle was distressed, it would be pretty visible and apparent to the viewer. These aren’t a universally applicable metric, but they’re a good start for mammal and bird interactions.
Pair that with the knowledge that eagles reserve those chirps for calm environments, and you can be pretty secure and comfy in the knowledge that the big honkin’ birb is happy and cozy.
Also, to anybody wondering, falconers are almost single-handedly responsible for the recovery from near-extinction of several raptor species, including and especially peregrine falcons. Most hawks only live with the falconer for a year, and most of that year is spent getting the bird in ideal condition for survival and success as a wild breeding adult. Falconers are extensively trained and dedicated wildlife conservationists, pretty much by definition, especially in the continental USA, and they make up an unspeakably important part of the overall conservation of predatory bird species. Predatory birds are an important part of every ecosystem they inhabit. Just like apiarists and their bees, the relationship between falconer and hawk is one of great benefit to the animal and the ecosystem, in exchange for a huge amount of time, effort, expense, and education on the part of the human, for very little personal benefit to that one human. It’s definitely not exploitation of the bird, and most hawks working with falconers are hawks who absolutely would not have reached adulthood without human help: the sick, the injured, and the “runts” of the nest who don’t receive adequate resources from their own parents. These are, by and large, wonderful people who are in love with the natural world and putting a lifetime of knowledge and sheer exhausting work into conserving it and its winged wonders.

reblogged for excellent info, I’m so glad that big gorgeous birb really is as happy as it looks!

Today’s bit of positive activism: A reminder that, although the world may contain many bad and awful things, it also contains an enormous winged predator clucking happily as a human gives it a belly rub.


@marywhal is bird-cat!!


@vaspider 


birb

vaspider: shaaknaa: emi–rose: osberend: iopele: suspendnodisbelief: naamahdarling: optimysticals: youwantmuchmore: thebestoftum...

Reached: LET'S NOT DO ANY GENDER STEREOTYPING. siryouarebeingmocked: smis-five-creedmoor: kongu2525: someoneintheshadow456: thenightling: pileofknives: honeybubb: me #can’t believe this movie is from 1998 It’s like y'all think people didn’t talk about shit before 2008. It’s because the “Woke” generation likes to pretend they invented inclusiveness and feminism. When I was in Kindergarten (in 1986) the school librarian read us a book about why it’s important to let little boys play with dolls and own dolls if they want them.   Again, this was in 1986 but that somehow blows the minds of this generation.  How did we go so backward that these things from our past surprise them?  I’ve seen kids try to argue how “unrealistic” Stranger Things and Stephen King’s It were because it had white kids friends with a black boy and how “that didn’t happen back then.”    And I’m sitting here like “Where do you think all your interracial friends came from?   Spawned from cabbages?”   Stephen King wrote “It” in 1986 and based it on the dynamic of real friendships he had in the 1950s. When my parents were in 6th grade they had a drawing teacher who was a pedophile. One day he reached under a girls shirt and pinched her breasts and the boys started screaming at him and throwing objects. Their antics alerted the principal, and the boys told him everything and the pedo bastard got fired. THIS WAS IN INDIA IN THE 70s. EVEN BACK THEN 10-12 YEAR OLD BOYS UNDERSTOOD THAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT WAS BAD. People didn’t live in caves and go “unga bunga rape is totes good” and then suddenly change 10 years ago. Because the media keeps acting like we dont already know its bad, they keep pushing the woke agenda when its been normal to call out sexist crap and to not be racist for years now. Lots of whites marched alongside MLK during the Civil Rights movement in the 60s. Because they too saw the bullshit that was Jim Crow Laws. Not being racist is nothing new. I think a lot of activists want to think they’re plucky rebels.I see lots of them who get outright upset when someone goes “the world is less prejudiced than you think”. I’m still reeling from the fact that apparently people don’t think black kids and white kids were friends in the fucking 80s? Like 50s I could at least get the assumption but the 80s???
Reached: LET'S NOT DO ANY
 GENDER STEREOTYPING.
siryouarebeingmocked:

smis-five-creedmoor:
kongu2525:

someoneintheshadow456:

thenightling:


pileofknives:

honeybubb:
me #can’t believe this movie is from 1998

It’s like y'all think people didn’t talk about shit before 2008.

It’s because the “Woke” generation likes to pretend they invented inclusiveness and feminism.
When I was in Kindergarten (in 1986) the school librarian read us a book about why it’s important to let little boys play with dolls and own dolls if they want them.   Again, this was in 1986 but that somehow blows the minds of this generation.  How did we go so backward that these things from our past surprise them? 
I’ve seen kids try to argue how “unrealistic” Stranger Things and Stephen King’s It were because it had white kids friends with a black boy and how “that didn’t happen back then.”    And I’m sitting here like “Where do you think all your interracial friends came from?   Spawned from cabbages?”   Stephen King wrote “It” in 1986 and based it on the dynamic of real friendships he had in the 1950s.


When my parents were in 6th grade they had a drawing teacher who was a pedophile. One day he reached under a girls shirt and pinched her breasts and the boys started screaming at him and throwing objects. Their antics alerted the principal, and the boys told him everything and the pedo bastard got fired.
THIS WAS IN INDIA IN THE 70s. EVEN BACK THEN 10-12 YEAR OLD BOYS UNDERSTOOD THAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT WAS BAD. 
People didn’t live in caves and go “unga bunga rape is totes good” and then suddenly change 10 years ago. 


Because the media keeps acting like we dont already know its bad, they keep pushing the woke agenda when its been normal to call out sexist crap and to not be racist for years now. 

Lots of whites marched alongside MLK during the Civil Rights movement in the 60s.
Because they too saw the bullshit that was Jim Crow Laws.
Not being racist is nothing new.

I think a lot of activists want to think they’re plucky rebels.I see lots of them who get outright upset when someone goes “the world is less prejudiced than you think”.

I’m still reeling from the fact that apparently people don’t think black kids and white kids were friends in the fucking 80s? Like 50s I could at least get the assumption but the 80s???

siryouarebeingmocked: smis-five-creedmoor: kongu2525: someoneintheshadow456: thenightling: pileofknives: honeybubb: me #can’t belie...

Reached: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Reached: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’