Punany


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        U What
        

            
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U What

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Ties
        

            
            Ties
        

    

    

         
Ties

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         you make me laugh
        

            
             you make me laugh
        

    

    

         
 you make me laugh

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         ok ok
        

            
             ok ok
        

    

    

         
 ok ok

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         dont
        

            
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 dont

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         peed
        

            
             peed
        

    

    

         
 peed

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         pee
        

            
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 pee

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         two
        

            
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 two

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

         say
        

            
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         no
        

            
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        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: Office dog isn't allowed on the couch,
 so this is her daily act of rebellion
So I grabbed coffee with my lil homegirl who I work with and she say she got a southwest companion pass. Litchrally with this shit u fly anywhere and take whoever u want anywhere any time. I'm like "🤔...how. U mainly work for me and I don't fly u around the world like that for u to be racking up miles 😂." Why did she launch into this whole shpiel about how she low key scamming TF out of southwest airline robbing them blind LEGALLY AF 😂. "Well I opened up one southwest credit card and got 60,000 miles. Then I opened up another one with another bank and got 60,000 more. Also I do all my shopping thru the southwest rewards website so even if I buy shoes at Nordstrom I get points." I'm like "wow. For me though southwest been low key getting more expensive though(?)" And she just like "yeah I don't let them drop the price on me. If they do, I switch to the next day flight, then switch back. Like if I book at $400 and it drops to $300, I switch and switch back. Down to $250? Same. Until I'm satisfied I got the best price." DID YALL HEAR THAT SHIT. "UNTIL I'M SATISFIED." She the MF queen bruh, southwest exists to shuttle her pretty ass around. And she gon scam them until their back is broken and they bankrupt and they on the news just like "yeah we were having a nice run but this woman Kate ran us dry." GO THE FUCK HEAD, KATE, U PRETTA-ASS, SCAMMIN-ASS GENIUS 😍. IDK why ladies but if u a scammer, it do something to us. It tingle our nether regions. It make us feel like if the whole world go to shit like walking dead u gon scam our chirren into health and safety. The scamming gene is like Punani fragrance - it make us a lil crazy for u 🤗. To all my scammers out there, y'all the real MVP. Scam me. Rob me. End my life. Just make sure them kids is good and imma be smiling in my grave bless up 😍😂😂😂 (📷: Reddit u-ebbp)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: Office dog isn't allowed on the couch,
 so this is her daily act of rebellion
So I grabbed coffee with my lil homegirl who I work with and she say she got a southwest companion pass. Litchrally with this shit u fly anywhere and take whoever u want anywhere any time. I'm like "🤔...how. U mainly work for me and I don't fly u around the world like that for u to be racking up miles 😂." Why did she launch into this whole shpiel about how she low key scamming TF out of southwest airline robbing them blind LEGALLY AF 😂. "Well I opened up one southwest credit card and got 60,000 miles. Then I opened up another one with another bank and got 60,000 more. Also I do all my shopping thru the southwest rewards website so even if I buy shoes at Nordstrom I get points." I'm like "wow. For me though southwest been low key getting more expensive though(?)" And she just like "yeah I don't let them drop the price on me. If they do, I switch to the next day flight, then switch back. Like if I book at $400 and it drops to $300, I switch and switch back. Down to $250? Same. Until I'm satisfied I got the best price." DID YALL HEAR THAT SHIT. "UNTIL I'M SATISFIED." She the MF queen bruh, southwest exists to shuttle her pretty ass around. And she gon scam them until their back is broken and they bankrupt and they on the news just like "yeah we were having a nice run but this woman Kate ran us dry." GO THE FUCK HEAD, KATE, U PRETTA-ASS, SCAMMIN-ASS GENIUS 😍. IDK why ladies but if u a scammer, it do something to us. It tingle our nether regions. It make us feel like if the whole world go to shit like walking dead u gon scam our chirren into health and safety. The scamming gene is like Punani fragrance - it make us a lil crazy for u 🤗. To all my scammers out there, y'all the real MVP. Scam me. Rob me. End my life. Just make sure them kids is good and imma be smiling in my grave bless up 😍😂😂😂 (📷: Reddit u-ebbp)
                
            

            
            
So I grabbed coffee with my lil homegirl who I work with and she say she got a southwest companion pass. Litchrally with this shit u fly...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: Needless to say, I didn't move for a while
See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't need this type of negativity in yo life bruh 😂. (2) "OMG daddy I need you 😍." She a keeper. That's a good woman. (3) "K. How many other girls got this? Curious 🤔." <- wife. This is your wife, u found her bruh 😂. U feel me? She protecc. Like the flood waters coming, she gon rip the refrigerator door off the fridge and use it as a raft. She gon paddle your babies to safety. U gon call her from a business trip to NY like "baby u ok I seen the news" and she gon be like "NO I'M NOT OK MF I GOT *YOUR* LOOKIN ASS KIDS TRYINA PADDLE TO SAFETY BC U AIN'T HERE AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING FACE I GET TIGHT BC I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET U GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN LEAVE ME IN A FLOOD WE'LL DISCUSS LATER BYE." This type of woman will punch u in the face when u wake up for no reason. U sipping a Intelligentsia Black Cat Espresso happy go lucky af ready to take on the day and she walk right up to u with her hair fucked up and punch u exactly in the nose to where yo septum deviate. Yo septum was good AF now it's crooked like Austin Powers teeth lol. And u like "baby??" And she like "YOU CHEATED ON ME IN MY DREAM. WITH A BLOND BITCH. AS I SUSPECTED. MOTHER 👏 FUCKER 👏. BEEN TOLD U. U LIKE BLONDS SO MUCH? GO FIND A BLOND, THEY GROW ON TREES. DON'T WASTE MY MF TIME. GET THE FUCK TO WORK WE TALK LATER." (Crazy women always wanna give u the business and then warn u that another reaming is coming lol.) And u just like "baby I don't have a type, YOU my type" and she just like "YOUR 👏 TYPE 👏 IS 👏 BLOND 👏 YOU 👏 DIRTY 👏 DICK 👏 NIGHTMARE 👏 CHEATER 👏 I 👏 SAID 👏 WE 👏 TALK 👏 LATER." There u have it. Getchu a girl who wild about u bro. If she lukewarm u wasting your time. Get a girl who will kill for u then fuck around KILL u - it's the stabby ones that always got the most firey Punani ya get me! Bless up 😍😂😂😂 (📸: Reddit u-lucidf0x)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: Needless to say, I didn't move for a while
See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't need this type of negativity in yo life bruh 😂. (2) "OMG daddy I need you 😍." She a keeper. That's a good woman. (3) "K. How many other girls got this? Curious 🤔." <- wife. This is your wife, u found her bruh 😂. U feel me? She protecc. Like the flood waters coming, she gon rip the refrigerator door off the fridge and use it as a raft. She gon paddle your babies to safety. U gon call her from a business trip to NY like "baby u ok I seen the news" and she gon be like "NO I'M NOT OK MF I GOT *YOUR* LOOKIN ASS KIDS TRYINA PADDLE TO SAFETY BC U AIN'T HERE AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING FACE I GET TIGHT BC I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET U GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN LEAVE ME IN A FLOOD WE'LL DISCUSS LATER BYE." This type of woman will punch u in the face when u wake up for no reason. U sipping a Intelligentsia Black Cat Espresso happy go lucky af ready to take on the day and she walk right up to u with her hair fucked up and punch u exactly in the nose to where yo septum deviate. Yo septum was good AF now it's crooked like Austin Powers teeth lol. And u like "baby??" And she like "YOU CHEATED ON ME IN MY DREAM. WITH A BLOND BITCH. AS I SUSPECTED. MOTHER 👏 FUCKER 👏. BEEN TOLD U. U LIKE BLONDS SO MUCH? GO FIND A BLOND, THEY GROW ON TREES. DON'T WASTE MY MF TIME. GET THE FUCK TO WORK WE TALK LATER." (Crazy women always wanna give u the business and then warn u that another reaming is coming lol.) And u just like "baby I don't have a type, YOU my type" and she just like "YOUR 👏 TYPE 👏 IS 👏 BLOND 👏 YOU 👏 DIRTY 👏 DICK 👏 NIGHTMARE 👏 CHEATER 👏 I 👏 SAID 👏 WE 👏 TALK 👏 LATER." There u have it. Getchu a girl who wild about u bro. If she lukewarm u wasting your time. Get a girl who will kill for u then fuck around KILL u - it's the stabby ones that always got the most firey Punani ya get me! Bless up 😍😂😂😂 (📸: Reddit u-lucidf0x)
                
            

            
            
See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: He loves his dragon....
 @DrSmashlove
Relatable because I have the same look of devoted, loving enthusiasm on my face when I see (1) a bowl of fresh guacamole, and (2) Punani 🌺😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: He loves his dragon....
 @DrSmashlove
Relatable because I have the same look of devoted, loving enthusiasm on my face when I see (1) a bowl of fresh guacamole, and (2) Punani 🌺😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Relatable because I have the same look of devoted, loving enthusiasm on my face when I see (1) a bowl of fresh guacamole, and (2) Punani...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: Meet my new workout buddy:
 @DrSmashlove
A lot of u wanna date someone and complain that the person u with don't feel the same thing for u that u feel for them. "You love me ... but you don't love me the way I love you." And this become the basis of discord and enmity between two lovers. I would posit that people who feel this way got their expectations fucked up. Let's take it back to the caveman. The caveman loved the cave woman for the companionship and comfort she provided. U feel me? After a long day of wrestling saber tooth tigers and dinosaurs with his bare hands bruh the only thing that could cool his ass off at the end of the day in that cold ass cave was the warm confines of the four walls of some soft cave woman Punani 🤗. Similarly the cave woman engendered love in the heart of the caveman by rearing his chirren. And she appreciated him: "shit, I'm 5'3". I couldn't wrestle bears and shit alone. This caveman low key got stink-bref but I'll let his ass breathe fire into my grill for the comfort of not having to watch my chirren being eaten alive 😍." <- women BEEN the smarter, more reasonable-rational species 😂. Fast forward to 2017 where we over-obsessed with equality and everyone want equality in EVERYTHING, even emotions. "Do you crave me like I crave you?" "Do you think about me like I think of you?" "No good morning text huh ok GOOD NIGHT" <- at 11:03 am baby girl? What time zone u in? China? 😂 And we expect all these feelings in an era where we done fucked up the relationship-responsibility paradigm. Fully capable grown ass men be unemployed on the couch smoking weed eating Funyuns for breakfast playing PlayStation talmbout "do u luh me baby" - bruh - what is there to love - u ain even disabled - u just CHOOSE not to work - if the caveman were alive today he'd bust the door down on yo crib and strangle yo ass talmbout "OOGA BOOGA - I AINT WRESTLE ELEPHANTS TO MAINTAIN THE BLOODLINE FOR THIS FUCKERY". Ask yourself: do u feel in your heart that this person loves u? Not exactly how u love them but in their own way? If yes, then give it a chance. Expect reciprocation sexually because he can control that. Emotions can be faked but you're better off accepting the real thing. Bless up 😍😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: Meet my new workout buddy:
 @DrSmashlove
A lot of u wanna date someone and complain that the person u with don't feel the same thing for u that u feel for them. "You love me ... but you don't love me the way I love you." And this become the basis of discord and enmity between two lovers. I would posit that people who feel this way got their expectations fucked up. Let's take it back to the caveman. The caveman loved the cave woman for the companionship and comfort she provided. U feel me? After a long day of wrestling saber tooth tigers and dinosaurs with his bare hands bruh the only thing that could cool his ass off at the end of the day in that cold ass cave was the warm confines of the four walls of some soft cave woman Punani 🤗. Similarly the cave woman engendered love in the heart of the caveman by rearing his chirren. And she appreciated him: "shit, I'm 5'3". I couldn't wrestle bears and shit alone. This caveman low key got stink-bref but I'll let his ass breathe fire into my grill for the comfort of not having to watch my chirren being eaten alive 😍." <- women BEEN the smarter, more reasonable-rational species 😂. Fast forward to 2017 where we over-obsessed with equality and everyone want equality in EVERYTHING, even emotions. "Do you crave me like I crave you?" "Do you think about me like I think of you?" "No good morning text huh ok GOOD NIGHT" <- at 11:03 am baby girl? What time zone u in? China? 😂 And we expect all these feelings in an era where we done fucked up the relationship-responsibility paradigm. Fully capable grown ass men be unemployed on the couch smoking weed eating Funyuns for breakfast playing PlayStation talmbout "do u luh me baby" - bruh - what is there to love - u ain even disabled - u just CHOOSE not to work - if the caveman were alive today he'd bust the door down on yo crib and strangle yo ass talmbout "OOGA BOOGA - I AINT WRESTLE ELEPHANTS TO MAINTAIN THE BLOODLINE FOR THIS FUCKERY". Ask yourself: do u feel in your heart that this person loves u? Not exactly how u love them but in their own way? If yes, then give it a chance. Expect reciprocation sexually because he can control that. Emotions can be faked but you're better off accepting the real thing. Bless up 😍😂
                
            

            
            
A lot of u wanna date someone and complain that the person u with don't feel the same thing for u that u feel for them. "You love me ......

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: "This little thing? I made it..."
 @DrSmashlove
It's officially baby season and with that said lemme hit y'all with my lil two cents on bebes. I done seen a lot of couples have babies when tings was on the rocks. I don't ever blame couples for this. First - a lot of women will carry a fetus to term regardless of the status of the relationship and this is absolutely her prerogative. If u own a penis and u enter the Punani u gotta understand that regardless what type of birth control is in effect it could be a Bebe nine months later it's 2017 and u men still fail to grasp this and I'm still amazed. U could wear a condom she couple be on IUD and she could take a plan B all combined and if God want y'all to have a Bebe ISS GON HAPPEN BELEE DAT SHIT 🤗😂. Second, a lot of people think that having a baby will fix things. This is called a Band-Aid Baby. From my experience, a baby will give u more of what u have. A baby is an amplifier. Do y'all love the fuck out of each other and adore each other? Then some shitty diapers at 2 am and (God forbid) some health issues and other tests from God won't disrupt that. But if y'all got issues? It's only gon exacerbate the situation. BUT THAT'S NOT HOW PEOPLE THINK 😂. People's thought process is as follows: "I don't fully trust Mike, I can't say I'm happy with him, and he does shit on occasion that drives me FUCKING crazy. Maybe a baby will straighten him out." I agree, baby girl. Maybe it will. Just like maybe u will win the lotto and maybe quit your job and live on a boat...but that's a maybe with a low probability 🤗. More likely, Mike is in no position to be a papa. That said, I know a lot of superwoman single mama's and regardless of their situation with Mike, they've created an incredible home situation for their baby. All I'm saying is if you're considering joining the baby rush, make sure u understand that whatever you've got, you'll have more of it after the baby comes. Bless up 😍
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: "This little thing? I made it..."
 @DrSmashlove
It's officially baby season and with that said lemme hit y'all with my lil two cents on bebes. I done seen a lot of couples have babies when tings was on the rocks. I don't ever blame couples for this. First - a lot of women will carry a fetus to term regardless of the status of the relationship and this is absolutely her prerogative. If u own a penis and u enter the Punani u gotta understand that regardless what type of birth control is in effect it could be a Bebe nine months later it's 2017 and u men still fail to grasp this and I'm still amazed. U could wear a condom she couple be on IUD and she could take a plan B all combined and if God want y'all to have a Bebe ISS GON HAPPEN BELEE DAT SHIT 🤗😂. Second, a lot of people think that having a baby will fix things. This is called a Band-Aid Baby. From my experience, a baby will give u more of what u have. A baby is an amplifier. Do y'all love the fuck out of each other and adore each other? Then some shitty diapers at 2 am and (God forbid) some health issues and other tests from God won't disrupt that. But if y'all got issues? It's only gon exacerbate the situation. BUT THAT'S NOT HOW PEOPLE THINK 😂. People's thought process is as follows: "I don't fully trust Mike, I can't say I'm happy with him, and he does shit on occasion that drives me FUCKING crazy. Maybe a baby will straighten him out." I agree, baby girl. Maybe it will. Just like maybe u will win the lotto and maybe quit your job and live on a boat...but that's a maybe with a low probability 🤗. More likely, Mike is in no position to be a papa. That said, I know a lot of superwoman single mama's and regardless of their situation with Mike, they've created an incredible home situation for their baby. All I'm saying is if you're considering joining the baby rush, make sure u understand that whatever you've got, you'll have more of it after the baby comes. Bless up 😍
                
            

            
            
It's officially baby season and with that said lemme hit y'all with my lil two cents on bebes. I done seen a lot of couples have babies w...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: German shepherd? I think they adopted a
 kangaroo
 @DrSmashlove
Alright here go part 2 of my friend zone post. First, the problem with men is, a lot of them generally don't understand how this attraction shit works. A woman is gon fuck with u for a variety of factors - looks, humor, ambition, etc. If your mix don't do it for her bruh it's physiological. Her vagina lips recede into her body and a little elf named Susan who lives in that vagina and wears a purple robe all day puts a sign outside saying "CLOSED FOR SERVICE." Meanwhile if she fuck with your wave, Susan start harassing her telling her to be ratchet. "Who cares if you didn't shave" "take them panties off" "GURL - why u being prude" "SEE THIS IS WHY U AINT MARRIED" "just let him take his PP out - just so u could look at it 🤗" <- Susan is a bad ass influence 🤗😂. Nah but if Susan don't like u, she don't like u. And every time u try to be sexual, Susan gon be more aggravated. "GIRL, THIS MAN IS GROSS. CUT HIS ASS OUT." Men y'all gotta understand that if a woman friend-zones u, u can't kick your desire to seduce her ass into overdrive. Quite the CONTRARY - u gotta: (1) fall back, (2) be a good friend (type she could rely on - which just generally u should do for your friends anyway), (3) most of all, be extremely chill - like overly platonic. Don't let a hug linger - Susan will be annoyed. Again, u trying to do the opposite of reel her in. Maybe even refer to her as "Lil Sis" - u feel me? Then just watch. Susan will be confused. "Lil Sis? This motherfucker just liked me last year! Talmbout 'lil sis'. GIRL, KISS HIM WHILE U DRUNK. JUST TO FUCK HIS HEAD UP 💅." And then when she kiss u pull back like "ayeee u ok? Lol". Now Susan will be damn near commanding her to mount yo ass and ride u like Kentucky Derby. U feel me? And that's the bottom line. Ladies if he knows how to be a good FRIEND and not have EXPECTATIONS then let him stick around. Maybe even give him a lil Mercy Punani 🌹. If he trying to hump yo leg like a lonely dog erry time u see him, then cut him loose - u don't wanna upset Susan 🤗. Bless up 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: German shepherd? I think they adopted a
 kangaroo
 @DrSmashlove
Alright here go part 2 of my friend zone post. First, the problem with men is, a lot of them generally don't understand how this attraction shit works. A woman is gon fuck with u for a variety of factors - looks, humor, ambition, etc. If your mix don't do it for her bruh it's physiological. Her vagina lips recede into her body and a little elf named Susan who lives in that vagina and wears a purple robe all day puts a sign outside saying "CLOSED FOR SERVICE." Meanwhile if she fuck with your wave, Susan start harassing her telling her to be ratchet. "Who cares if you didn't shave" "take them panties off" "GURL - why u being prude" "SEE THIS IS WHY U AINT MARRIED" "just let him take his PP out - just so u could look at it 🤗" <- Susan is a bad ass influence 🤗😂. Nah but if Susan don't like u, she don't like u. And every time u try to be sexual, Susan gon be more aggravated. "GIRL, THIS MAN IS GROSS. CUT HIS ASS OUT." Men y'all gotta understand that if a woman friend-zones u, u can't kick your desire to seduce her ass into overdrive. Quite the CONTRARY - u gotta: (1) fall back, (2) be a good friend (type she could rely on - which just generally u should do for your friends anyway), (3) most of all, be extremely chill - like overly platonic. Don't let a hug linger - Susan will be annoyed. Again, u trying to do the opposite of reel her in. Maybe even refer to her as "Lil Sis" - u feel me? Then just watch. Susan will be confused. "Lil Sis? This motherfucker just liked me last year! Talmbout 'lil sis'. GIRL, KISS HIM WHILE U DRUNK. JUST TO FUCK HIS HEAD UP 💅." And then when she kiss u pull back like "ayeee u ok? Lol". Now Susan will be damn near commanding her to mount yo ass and ride u like Kentucky Derby. U feel me? And that's the bottom line. Ladies if he knows how to be a good FRIEND and not have EXPECTATIONS then let him stick around. Maybe even give him a lil Mercy Punani 🌹. If he trying to hump yo leg like a lonely dog erry time u see him, then cut him loose - u don't wanna upset Susan 🤗. Bless up 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Alright here go part 2 of my friend zone post. First, the problem with men is, a lot of them generally don't understand how this attracti...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: Taking a sick day to spend time with his
 penguin
 @Drsmashlove
My lil homegirl text me saying "smash, I went to go see a guy I was talking to who moved, and it ended up being a little bit of a disappointment - I think we built it up too much while we were apart 😕." Ok lemme splain y'all. See what happen when u super charged up sexually with someone but y'all geographically apart is, u start getting into wild fantasy situations when discussing what y'all gonna do. It's never like "I'm gonna have passionate, loving missionary sexual relations with you because the distance hath made me crave you, lover 😍." Nah. Hell nah. U gon be way, way overboard with it: "BABY GIRL...WHEN I FUCKING SEE YOU...IMMA...LISTEN...NO, SHUT UP, LISTEN...IMMA SUSPEND YOU UPSIDE DOWN SIDEWAYS FROM THE CEILING KARMA SUTRA STYLE...FINNA LEAP UP ON YOU LIKE SPIDER MAN...GRAB YOUR NECK WITH ONE HAND AND GRAB YOUR HAIR WITH THE OTHER HAND AND SPANK YOU WITH A THIRD TENTACLE OCTOPUS HAND THAT U AIN'T EVEN SEEN YET AND USE MY FOOT TO HIT YOU WITH THAT HITACHI ON FULL JACKHAMMER MODE...FINNA MAKE YOU CUM 783 TIMES MAMA...YOU DON'T EVEN...LISTEN...ON GOD IT'S FINNA BE ON..." Then y'all link up and he mount you and u kiss his neck and say "I missed you daddy" and he gon YOLO everything he done built up deep inside u, shed a single tear, roll over and schleep because that's what a real one gon do if u got that A1 Masterpiece Punani - especially after a long absence? Goner. U feel me? We miss u mama. That's just how it go down. Side note: there's no moral of the story here. I'm not gon say: "tone it down over text." That long distance pen pal shit is sexy AF! Just manage expectations and understand that in person it's gon be a lil different 🤗. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: Taking a sick day to spend time with his
 penguin
 @Drsmashlove
My lil homegirl text me saying "smash, I went to go see a guy I was talking to who moved, and it ended up being a little bit of a disappointment - I think we built it up too much while we were apart 😕." Ok lemme splain y'all. See what happen when u super charged up sexually with someone but y'all geographically apart is, u start getting into wild fantasy situations when discussing what y'all gonna do. It's never like "I'm gonna have passionate, loving missionary sexual relations with you because the distance hath made me crave you, lover 😍." Nah. Hell nah. U gon be way, way overboard with it: "BABY GIRL...WHEN I FUCKING SEE YOU...IMMA...LISTEN...NO, SHUT UP, LISTEN...IMMA SUSPEND YOU UPSIDE DOWN SIDEWAYS FROM THE CEILING KARMA SUTRA STYLE...FINNA LEAP UP ON YOU LIKE SPIDER MAN...GRAB YOUR NECK WITH ONE HAND AND GRAB YOUR HAIR WITH THE OTHER HAND AND SPANK YOU WITH A THIRD TENTACLE OCTOPUS HAND THAT U AIN'T EVEN SEEN YET AND USE MY FOOT TO HIT YOU WITH THAT HITACHI ON FULL JACKHAMMER MODE...FINNA MAKE YOU CUM 783 TIMES MAMA...YOU DON'T EVEN...LISTEN...ON GOD IT'S FINNA BE ON..." Then y'all link up and he mount you and u kiss his neck and say "I missed you daddy" and he gon YOLO everything he done built up deep inside u, shed a single tear, roll over and schleep because that's what a real one gon do if u got that A1 Masterpiece Punani - especially after a long absence? Goner. U feel me? We miss u mama. That's just how it go down. Side note: there's no moral of the story here. I'm not gon say: "tone it down over text." That long distance pen pal shit is sexy AF! Just manage expectations and understand that in person it's gon be a lil different 🤗. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
My lil homegirl text me saying "smash, I went to go see a guy I was talking to who moved, and it ended up being a little bit of a disappo...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: oh my god
 Dr Smashlove
So my lil homegirl text me: "smash am I weird that I can really only cum from oral? I was with a guy and I couldn't cum from penetration and he was frustrated and said 'well there's a first time for everything.'..." OK it's four type of women out here lemme splain u: (1) girls who only cum from penetration. This type of girl DGAF about a tongue Bruh. That's the lil appetizer. U feel me? The lil mini-samosas at the Indian restaurant. That ain't what she here for. She want u to go Floyd Fvcking Mayweather on the Punani Bruh. She want the four walls of her Punani blown out and rearranged. That lil tongue game don't interest her. This category include freaks and ladies with daddy issues for whom pain is as important or more important than pleasure 🤗. (2) This girl crave the soft, warm, wet gyrations of that tongue sending her into the stratosphere where she up in the clouds hi fiving birds. And Zeus. And shit. (Or so they tell me YungTornadoTung 😍😂). (3) This girl just keep cumming Bruh. I put my tongue on her, boom. I hit that deep back stroke, she arching her back and shaking and talking in tongues like she done caught the Holy Spirit. Two fingers under the table at a steakhouse Bruh she bussing non stop while I feed her bites of lobster mashed potatoes. If u find this girl marry her Bruh u got no choice. She will make u feel like MF Superman ☄️. (4) This type ain't gon cum regardless. I've been with this type exactly once. Sadly, this type will keep apologizing like "I LOVED IT OMG YOU'RE AMAZING I JUST CAN'T CUM." Don't fall on your sword - just make it nice for her and don't put pressure on her. Now as for old boy with his "there's a first time for everything" lookin ass, listen, Mr. Lookin Ass. Ladies gon love what they love. Who TF are u to pop off passive aggressively because she didn't massage your ego by cumming for u the way u wanted her to? Smfh. Let her do her. Maybe she ain't all enchanted with the PP like that, like she enjoy it but she crave other tings. U got a tongue bih, use it. Don't be snide. U feel me? Take their presence as a blessing and make it special. ALWAYS MAKE YOUR LOVER FEEL SPECIAL. IF U DON'T, SOMEONE ELSE WILL. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: oh my god
 Dr Smashlove
So my lil homegirl text me: "smash am I weird that I can really only cum from oral? I was with a guy and I couldn't cum from penetration and he was frustrated and said 'well there's a first time for everything.'..." OK it's four type of women out here lemme splain u: (1) girls who only cum from penetration. This type of girl DGAF about a tongue Bruh. That's the lil appetizer. U feel me? The lil mini-samosas at the Indian restaurant. That ain't what she here for. She want u to go Floyd Fvcking Mayweather on the Punani Bruh. She want the four walls of her Punani blown out and rearranged. That lil tongue game don't interest her. This category include freaks and ladies with daddy issues for whom pain is as important or more important than pleasure 🤗. (2) This girl crave the soft, warm, wet gyrations of that tongue sending her into the stratosphere where she up in the clouds hi fiving birds. And Zeus. And shit. (Or so they tell me YungTornadoTung 😍😂). (3) This girl just keep cumming Bruh. I put my tongue on her, boom. I hit that deep back stroke, she arching her back and shaking and talking in tongues like she done caught the Holy Spirit. Two fingers under the table at a steakhouse Bruh she bussing non stop while I feed her bites of lobster mashed potatoes. If u find this girl marry her Bruh u got no choice. She will make u feel like MF Superman ☄️. (4) This type ain't gon cum regardless. I've been with this type exactly once. Sadly, this type will keep apologizing like "I LOVED IT OMG YOU'RE AMAZING I JUST CAN'T CUM." Don't fall on your sword - just make it nice for her and don't put pressure on her. Now as for old boy with his "there's a first time for everything" lookin ass, listen, Mr. Lookin Ass. Ladies gon love what they love. Who TF are u to pop off passive aggressively because she didn't massage your ego by cumming for u the way u wanted her to? Smfh. Let her do her. Maybe she ain't all enchanted with the PP like that, like she enjoy it but she crave other tings. U got a tongue bih, use it. Don't be snide. U feel me? Take their presence as a blessing and make it special. ALWAYS MAKE YOUR LOVER FEEL SPECIAL. IF U DON'T, SOMEONE ELSE WILL. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
So my lil homegirl text me: "smash am I weird that I can really only cum from oral? I was with a guy and I couldn't cum from penetration...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: OMG LOOKIT HIS LITTLE EAR STICKING
 UP. I CANT.
 @DrSmashlove
Say Bruh shout to you thick girls walking down the street coming back from the gym, I see y'all. Brow damp with sweat. Yoga pants stuck to them panties stuck to your booty from dumping buckets of sweat. Lil sweat spots on the booty and Punani area. Glasses sliding down your nose because of the sweat. Shirt soaked like you dipped it straight into a bucket of water and immediately put it on, sopping wet. Stankin like a motherfvcker (in the most heavenly way possible 😍). Walking slow because your legs feel like Jell-O. I see y'all. And u debating. Is this worth it? When am I gonna get skinny? How many of these workouts do I need to do before I look like them women in the Instagram bikini ads? Why hasn't it happened yet? Why I still got these big ass thighs and hips with the lil dimples under the booty cheeks? Ladies. I'm here to assure you that your work has already paid off. As far as I'm concerned, your goal has already been achieved. This is a marathon, not a race. You're not going to be skinny tomorrow. You may never be skinny. And what's even more, thank God for that! God created us in different shapes and not as clones. You are hitting the gym, so you are already healthier. Your heart is already stronger. Your lungs are already more efficient. You can exert yourself more than you ever could or year ago. You feel me? You won, baby girl. You did it. Everything from here on out is just gravy. And by the way, don't be so goddamn anxious to get skinny! It's men out here who actually like you exactly as you are and are gonna be sad AF when the thunder thighs go away! I want you to be the best you that you can be but never lose sight of the fact that you were never not beautiful. You get me? Bless the fuck up 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: OMG LOOKIT HIS LITTLE EAR STICKING
 UP. I CANT.
 @DrSmashlove
Say Bruh shout to you thick girls walking down the street coming back from the gym, I see y'all. Brow damp with sweat. Yoga pants stuck to them panties stuck to your booty from dumping buckets of sweat. Lil sweat spots on the booty and Punani area. Glasses sliding down your nose because of the sweat. Shirt soaked like you dipped it straight into a bucket of water and immediately put it on, sopping wet. Stankin like a motherfvcker (in the most heavenly way possible 😍). Walking slow because your legs feel like Jell-O. I see y'all. And u debating. Is this worth it? When am I gonna get skinny? How many of these workouts do I need to do before I look like them women in the Instagram bikini ads? Why hasn't it happened yet? Why I still got these big ass thighs and hips with the lil dimples under the booty cheeks? Ladies. I'm here to assure you that your work has already paid off. As far as I'm concerned, your goal has already been achieved. This is a marathon, not a race. You're not going to be skinny tomorrow. You may never be skinny. And what's even more, thank God for that! God created us in different shapes and not as clones. You are hitting the gym, so you are already healthier. Your heart is already stronger. Your lungs are already more efficient. You can exert yourself more than you ever could or year ago. You feel me? You won, baby girl. You did it. Everything from here on out is just gravy. And by the way, don't be so goddamn anxious to get skinny! It's men out here who actually like you exactly as you are and are gonna be sad AF when the thunder thighs go away! I want you to be the best you that you can be but never lose sight of the fact that you were never not beautiful. You get me? Bless the fuck up 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Say Bruh shout to you thick girls walking down the street coming back from the gym, I see y'all. Brow damp with sweat. Yoga pants stuck t...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: A dog is a part of your life, but you are
 everything to a dog's life.
 (a DrSmashlove
See Bruh it's two type of ladies at the gym lemme splain u. The first type of woman is dainty. Put-together. She got them yoga tights on but not them cheap joints from Target where the fabric don't breathe so it make yo Punani smell aggressively (side note: I love this smell 😍), but rather them sheer cutout Lululemon joints that cost so much that it's ok to wear them to fancy restaurants. And she got her hair up and her Apple ear pods in and she doing them Instagram workouts. U know wtf I mean. Them shits where she puts the strap around her ankle and do reverse leg raises on the 10 pound setting and it look sexy AF but you're not quite sure if this is actually exercising anything or if she just trying to look sexy. If u this type I got love for u and u sexy but lemme splain the second type. Second type give no fucks. She wearing a cut-off "Bill's Roadhouse Bar" t shirt because she used to work there and the manager used to try to bang her but she declined but she accepted the free t shirts. She got tats up and down her arms because her pain tolerance astronomical. No make-up. She ain't trying to impress u. She don't give a fuck about u. She's there to dump an entire bucket of sweat to knock the stress of single life and tinder fuckboys off her conscience. She squatting more than u - she could fold a penny in half with her ass cheeks and then projectile fart that folded penny into your face and leave a permanent scar and then when people ask u why u got that scar u gotta make up a elaborate lie because u can't tell the truth which is that a bad ass woman farted a folded piece of metal shrapnel directly into yo grill. U feel me? Now all I'm saying is, it's no right answer here. Whatever type u are, do yo thang. But if u type 2, let's be friends, ma. Let me make random banter with u so I can determine if u gay, bi, or just a extremely bad ass straight bish. Let me flirt in a respectful way. Let's eventually grab lunch at Panera after the gym - I recommend the flatbreads 🤗. And let me spot u while u squat. But don't fart a penny into me! Might hit my ballsac and neuter me and I'm tryina eventually have chirren witchoe fine ass LehGo 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: A dog is a part of your life, but you are
 everything to a dog's life.
 (a DrSmashlove
See Bruh it's two type of ladies at the gym lemme splain u. The first type of woman is dainty. Put-together. She got them yoga tights on but not them cheap joints from Target where the fabric don't breathe so it make yo Punani smell aggressively (side note: I love this smell 😍), but rather them sheer cutout Lululemon joints that cost so much that it's ok to wear them to fancy restaurants. And she got her hair up and her Apple ear pods in and she doing them Instagram workouts. U know wtf I mean. Them shits where she puts the strap around her ankle and do reverse leg raises on the 10 pound setting and it look sexy AF but you're not quite sure if this is actually exercising anything or if she just trying to look sexy. If u this type I got love for u and u sexy but lemme splain the second type. Second type give no fucks. She wearing a cut-off "Bill's Roadhouse Bar" t shirt because she used to work there and the manager used to try to bang her but she declined but she accepted the free t shirts. She got tats up and down her arms because her pain tolerance astronomical. No make-up. She ain't trying to impress u. She don't give a fuck about u. She's there to dump an entire bucket of sweat to knock the stress of single life and tinder fuckboys off her conscience. She squatting more than u - she could fold a penny in half with her ass cheeks and then projectile fart that folded penny into your face and leave a permanent scar and then when people ask u why u got that scar u gotta make up a elaborate lie because u can't tell the truth which is that a bad ass woman farted a folded piece of metal shrapnel directly into yo grill. U feel me? Now all I'm saying is, it's no right answer here. Whatever type u are, do yo thang. But if u type 2, let's be friends, ma. Let me make random banter with u so I can determine if u gay, bi, or just a extremely bad ass straight bish. Let me flirt in a respectful way. Let's eventually grab lunch at Panera after the gym - I recommend the flatbreads 🤗. And let me spot u while u squat. But don't fart a penny into me! Might hit my ballsac and neuter me and I'm tryina eventually have chirren witchoe fine ass LehGo 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
See Bruh it's two type of ladies at the gym lemme splain u. The first type of woman is dainty. Put-together. She got them yoga tights on...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: German shepherd pup
 Dr Smashlove
Men my advice to u is, be specific. U gotta understand, if yo girl send a selfie, u could say something u think is sweet: "you pretty baby", "you beautiful", "wow your boobs look big I like it that". Yes: "it that". U motherfuckers so dry that u done dehydrated your grammar and syntax and have rendered them nonsensical. Straight up Sahara Desert level reply game. She might not reply to your dry-ass reply but she thinking: "wow you can fuck right off with your sandpaper dry ass." Give her a lil specificity that applies to how she looks in particular and emphasizes a unique feature: "baby your thighs - so toned yet so soft, perfect and inviting - leave work and come wrap those around my face, let Daddy get a taste". Keep it sexy and dirty. If her Punani taste good, tell her. Describe it. Listen to your palette. Same way u be at work dinners and it's always that one asshole Pete who's like "this wine has oaky notes, with a peppery overtone ☺️" (it's spoiled grape juice, shut your whore mouth PETE 😀), I let a girl know her flavor notes. If her Punani taste like cookie dough soft serve ice cream drizzled in warm caramel with sweet, chewy gum drops on top smothered in whip cream and then two Maraschino cherries on top of that, I tell her. "Oh baby ur juice tastes good" <- Bruh y'all become illiterate when it come time to talk sweet to your girl. Be descriptive. I mean, keep it G, and exercise proper restraint, but be playful. Or don't keep it G and don't exercise restraint, like me ☺️. With me, every shot is a direct shot 🏹. I'm liable to just be like "Let me make sweet, passionate, unprotected love to you in the missionary position and then when I'm done I'll hold your legs up and pinch the Punani shut to ensure fertilization 👶." <- I don't recommend this course of action. It work for me because I'm not right in the head and people know that 😩. For the rest of y'all I recommend using your words and focusing on her one-of-a-kind attributes. Make her blush. U get me! BLESS UP 🖤😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: German shepherd pup
 Dr Smashlove
Men my advice to u is, be specific. U gotta understand, if yo girl send a selfie, u could say something u think is sweet: "you pretty baby", "you beautiful", "wow your boobs look big I like it that". Yes: "it that". U motherfuckers so dry that u done dehydrated your grammar and syntax and have rendered them nonsensical. Straight up Sahara Desert level reply game. She might not reply to your dry-ass reply but she thinking: "wow you can fuck right off with your sandpaper dry ass." Give her a lil specificity that applies to how she looks in particular and emphasizes a unique feature: "baby your thighs - so toned yet so soft, perfect and inviting - leave work and come wrap those around my face, let Daddy get a taste". Keep it sexy and dirty. If her Punani taste good, tell her. Describe it. Listen to your palette. Same way u be at work dinners and it's always that one asshole Pete who's like "this wine has oaky notes, with a peppery overtone ☺️" (it's spoiled grape juice, shut your whore mouth PETE 😀), I let a girl know her flavor notes. If her Punani taste like cookie dough soft serve ice cream drizzled in warm caramel with sweet, chewy gum drops on top smothered in whip cream and then two Maraschino cherries on top of that, I tell her. "Oh baby ur juice tastes good" <- Bruh y'all become illiterate when it come time to talk sweet to your girl. Be descriptive. I mean, keep it G, and exercise proper restraint, but be playful. Or don't keep it G and don't exercise restraint, like me ☺️. With me, every shot is a direct shot 🏹. I'm liable to just be like "Let me make sweet, passionate, unprotected love to you in the missionary position and then when I'm done I'll hold your legs up and pinch the Punani shut to ensure fertilization 👶." <- I don't recommend this course of action. It work for me because I'm not right in the head and people know that 😩. For the rest of y'all I recommend using your words and focusing on her one-of-a-kind attributes. Make her blush. U get me! BLESS UP 🖤😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Men my advice to u is, be specific. U gotta understand, if yo girl send a selfie, u could say something u think is sweet: "you pretty bab...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: when u see ur new replacement
 @DrSmashlove
Ladies make your man feel special. Use your words. Make it about HIM. U feel me? Make homeboy feel like the pizza boy in the porno who get used by the sex-hangry MILF who honestly was just craving pizza and now she's being bent over her sectional ☺️. Don't text him "omg I'm horny". Text him: "OMG I'm horny for you". Another good one: "baby I'm burning for you." U feel me? Like u got a STD in your Punani and his PP is the cot damn antibiotic antidote 💉. "I'm at my desk touching myself where are you." <- 100% hit rate. Now I know what u thinking. "This is the fuckery I signed up for? U men need your egos stroked THIS badly?" Well...yes 😂. U look at yo man and see a grown ass human with hair under his balls. What u don't realize is that this man still has the basic emotional intelligence of a cautious, insecure first grader in Osh Kosh B'gosh overalls and ProKeds sneakers. He still liable to piss hisself if circumstances get to that. U feel me? He crying at the bus stop. He need a mama. Reassure him that he's your everything - emotionally, sexually, etc. And men for chrissake do the same (I'll do a part 2 where I talk about how men should sweet-talk their woman). TALK DIRTY TO EACH OTHER DAMMIT LET THEM KNOW YOU FUCKS WITH THEM. See a lot of y'all Bruh? Y'all in relationships but u done fell into a rut. "Hey babe." "Hey." "How's work." "Great." "Hey Melissa and Ted want to meet at Bottlefork at 8." "OK great." "Hey did you get the dry cleaning I'm out of shirts". "No, crap. I'll get it after work." "Ok." "Ok." "Love you." "Ok love you too." Bruh. Y'all done turned into robots. Ladies tonight I want u to try something different. When u making boring ass plans with your man and boring ass Melissa and Ted, add a little spice at the end. "Hey Melissa and Ted want to meet at Bottlefork at 8." "Ok." "Hey Jack." "Yeah babe." "Before we meet them can you bend me over the kitchen counter and tear my little bitty Punani open with your hosecock HURT ME DADDY". Do it. See how he react. Ya get me? Now go build fruitful, lasting, fulfilling sexual relationships (unlike Melissa and Ted who don't bang after they've brushed their teeth 😩). BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: when u see ur new replacement
 @DrSmashlove
Ladies make your man feel special. Use your words. Make it about HIM. U feel me? Make homeboy feel like the pizza boy in the porno who get used by the sex-hangry MILF who honestly was just craving pizza and now she's being bent over her sectional ☺️. Don't text him "omg I'm horny". Text him: "OMG I'm horny for you". Another good one: "baby I'm burning for you." U feel me? Like u got a STD in your Punani and his PP is the cot damn antibiotic antidote 💉. "I'm at my desk touching myself where are you." <- 100% hit rate. Now I know what u thinking. "This is the fuckery I signed up for? U men need your egos stroked THIS badly?" Well...yes 😂. U look at yo man and see a grown ass human with hair under his balls. What u don't realize is that this man still has the basic emotional intelligence of a cautious, insecure first grader in Osh Kosh B'gosh overalls and ProKeds sneakers. He still liable to piss hisself if circumstances get to that. U feel me? He crying at the bus stop. He need a mama. Reassure him that he's your everything - emotionally, sexually, etc. And men for chrissake do the same (I'll do a part 2 where I talk about how men should sweet-talk their woman). TALK DIRTY TO EACH OTHER DAMMIT LET THEM KNOW YOU FUCKS WITH THEM. See a lot of y'all Bruh? Y'all in relationships but u done fell into a rut. "Hey babe." "Hey." "How's work." "Great." "Hey Melissa and Ted want to meet at Bottlefork at 8." "OK great." "Hey did you get the dry cleaning I'm out of shirts". "No, crap. I'll get it after work." "Ok." "Ok." "Love you." "Ok love you too." Bruh. Y'all done turned into robots. Ladies tonight I want u to try something different. When u making boring ass plans with your man and boring ass Melissa and Ted, add a little spice at the end. "Hey Melissa and Ted want to meet at Bottlefork at 8." "Ok." "Hey Jack." "Yeah babe." "Before we meet them can you bend me over the kitchen counter and tear my little bitty Punani open with your hosecock HURT ME DADDY". Do it. See how he react. Ya get me? Now go build fruitful, lasting, fulfilling sexual relationships (unlike Melissa and Ted who don't bang after they've brushed their teeth 😩). BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Ladies make your man feel special. Use your words. Make it about HIM. U feel me? Make homeboy feel like the pizza boy in the porno who ge...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: what in tarnation
 Drsmashlove
Shout to u ladies that's gon text a brother fresh out of the blue with that "Hiiii". There is nothing more delightful than this text because it tell u everything u need to know. If a girl hasn't texted u in months and hits u with "Hiii" it can only mean one of a few things: (1) "I'm fresh off of a breakup. To be honest I was trying to be a good girl so I didn't text you but now that I'm single and ready to flamingle I wouldn't mind letting you rearrange the alignment of my Punani walls for old time's sake as a reintroduction to being unattached again. Hiii ☺️." (2) "It dawned on me that you're trifling and unserious about commitment so I moved on and dated a nice kid named Daniel who's an analyst at RBC and whose grandparents have an amazing place in Miami and to be honest I don't wanna ruin things with Daniel but if you want to sext with me and let me be bad for a couple hours I'm ok with that, and, in return, you'll get first dibs if I catch Daniel sending pics of his mediocre ass wiener to rando's. Hiii ☺️." (3) "I don't even like you. Your sole redeeming qualities are your humor and your tongue-dick game but to be honest I've had enough horrible conversations-bad sex recently to where humor and good sex is enough for me to overcome my distaste for you and reach back out. Now ask me out to sushi and a drink so I can let you make me laugh and then bend me over my couch while my cat watches. Hiii ☺️." See what I mean Bruh? That's like a winning lotto ticket. Shout to u ladies that hit us with the "Hiii". Sometimes...just sometimes...four letter words speak volumes ☺️😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: what in tarnation
 Drsmashlove
Shout to u ladies that's gon text a brother fresh out of the blue with that "Hiiii". There is nothing more delightful than this text because it tell u everything u need to know. If a girl hasn't texted u in months and hits u with "Hiii" it can only mean one of a few things: (1) "I'm fresh off of a breakup. To be honest I was trying to be a good girl so I didn't text you but now that I'm single and ready to flamingle I wouldn't mind letting you rearrange the alignment of my Punani walls for old time's sake as a reintroduction to being unattached again. Hiii ☺️." (2) "It dawned on me that you're trifling and unserious about commitment so I moved on and dated a nice kid named Daniel who's an analyst at RBC and whose grandparents have an amazing place in Miami and to be honest I don't wanna ruin things with Daniel but if you want to sext with me and let me be bad for a couple hours I'm ok with that, and, in return, you'll get first dibs if I catch Daniel sending pics of his mediocre ass wiener to rando's. Hiii ☺️." (3) "I don't even like you. Your sole redeeming qualities are your humor and your tongue-dick game but to be honest I've had enough horrible conversations-bad sex recently to where humor and good sex is enough for me to overcome my distaste for you and reach back out. Now ask me out to sushi and a drink so I can let you make me laugh and then bend me over my couch while my cat watches. Hiii ☺️." See what I mean Bruh? That's like a winning lotto ticket. Shout to u ladies that hit us with the "Hiii". Sometimes...just sometimes...four letter words speak volumes ☺️😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Shout to u ladies that's gon text a brother fresh out of the blue with that "Hiiii". There is nothing more delightful than this text beca...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: Dogs in flower crowns
 @Dr Smashlove
So my lil homegirl texted me about this clown who drove her home after her birthday party and wanted a Nobel Prize for not trying to get an invite upstairs. His text to her friend: "People like her don't appreciate a man who shows her respect. And then the next minute will be the girl who's like, wow, he wasn't just trying to fvck me, he was actually really nice lol." Men, imma tell u something that may not be intuitive. Y'all ready? Listen close. She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT 😂. Y'all love coming up with these scenarios: "Well, she don't want me, God bless her. When she wakes up at age 40 surrounded by six cats and no man she'll wish she gave me a chance." Let me tell you three things she gonna be thinking at age 40: (1) "Wow am I sexy. 40 looks good!" (2) "Wow, my sex drive is crazy at age 40! Lemme see if smash is available to beat the brakes off this lil Punani tonight ☺️." (3) "Bees are dying at an alarming rate 🤔." Lemme tell u what she's NOT thinking: "Wow, Terrence was so kind to me for not trying to bang me. I should have married him and had his children. I am now fraught with regret. What am I to do 😢." She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT 😍. Ya get me? Y'all should be respectful to ALL women. ALL. Not some. ALL. "What if she a hoe lol." STOP CALLING WOMEN HOES HOWBOW DAH. (See? That was a trick question 😘). Once u realize no woman owes u shit, you'll start to keep it G, not be so damn thirsty, and not come to expect anything from women. And watch how your life changes for the better. Ya get me! Bless up 🙌😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: Dogs in flower crowns
 @Dr Smashlove
So my lil homegirl texted me about this clown who drove her home after her birthday party and wanted a Nobel Prize for not trying to get an invite upstairs. His text to her friend: "People like her don't appreciate a man who shows her respect. And then the next minute will be the girl who's like, wow, he wasn't just trying to fvck me, he was actually really nice lol." Men, imma tell u something that may not be intuitive. Y'all ready? Listen close. She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT 😂. Y'all love coming up with these scenarios: "Well, she don't want me, God bless her. When she wakes up at age 40 surrounded by six cats and no man she'll wish she gave me a chance." Let me tell you three things she gonna be thinking at age 40: (1) "Wow am I sexy. 40 looks good!" (2) "Wow, my sex drive is crazy at age 40! Lemme see if smash is available to beat the brakes off this lil Punani tonight ☺️." (3) "Bees are dying at an alarming rate 🤔." Lemme tell u what she's NOT thinking: "Wow, Terrence was so kind to me for not trying to bang me. I should have married him and had his children. I am now fraught with regret. What am I to do 😢." She. Don't. Owe. You. SHIIIIIIIIIT 😍. Ya get me? Y'all should be respectful to ALL women. ALL. Not some. ALL. "What if she a hoe lol." STOP CALLING WOMEN HOES HOWBOW DAH. (See? That was a trick question 😘). Once u realize no woman owes u shit, you'll start to keep it G, not be so damn thirsty, and not come to expect anything from women. And watch how your life changes for the better. Ya get me! Bless up 🙌😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
So my lil homegirl texted me about this clown who drove her home after her birthday party and wanted a Nobel Prize for not trying to get...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: I need you!
 @Dr Smashlove
Say Bruh shout to u lovey dovey motherfuckers that's gon risk it all tonight. Y'all know who the hell y'all are, don't pretend. Y'all in love. With that girl Stephanie who work down the hall. Or that girl Melissa who u work with at the mall. Or Emily from science class. Whoever she is, u in love, and u chose Valentine's Day to come out of the closet and risk it all and let her know. U got your flowers ready. Your chocolates. A nicely written card in hand writing, which nobody even write any more (real talk? I haven't hand written anything since 2011 😂. Like when iMessage brought in doodles, I had to re-learn how to write letters 😫). But anyway, u got your whole situation ready, and u gon risk it all. Game winner at the buzzer from half court. Today? A lot of Stephanie's, Melissa's and Emily's gon learn that u MADLY in love with her ass. Now there's a 1 in 1,000 chance she like u back, and she gon be thrilled. The other 999 gon be hella uncomfortable and no offense but tonight? U gon be their snap story Bruh 😂. Pic: roses and chocolates. Over-text: "OMG Nick you are the sweetest friend I could ask for!!!" And just like that yo chest gon cave in and u gon lose your breath which hasn't happened since the ball hit u in the stomach in third grade kickball. Two important lessons will be learned today. First, nick, u gon learn he hard way to keep it G 😂. Being lovey dovey is a wonderful trait but it's a time and a place and u gotta first make sure you're in there. U feel me? For all the young ladies, u gon be like "FML I REALLY LIKE PEDRO WHY COULDN'T HE BE THE ONE TO GET ME FLOWERS 😫". Because baby. Pedro ain't about shit. Pedro never bringing u flowers. YOU COULD HAVE HIS BABY AND NO FLOWERS 😂. So today u gon learn a important lesson - it's gon be men who adore u but u don't like them, and it's gon be men u adore but they don't see u anything as late night Punani. The key is to find a man in the middle, who gets your heart racing and also treat u how u need to be treated. Don't settle for Nick OR Pedro - be patient and u gon find a man who do both. Ya get me! Bless up 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: I need you!
 @Dr Smashlove
Say Bruh shout to u lovey dovey motherfuckers that's gon risk it all tonight. Y'all know who the hell y'all are, don't pretend. Y'all in love. With that girl Stephanie who work down the hall. Or that girl Melissa who u work with at the mall. Or Emily from science class. Whoever she is, u in love, and u chose Valentine's Day to come out of the closet and risk it all and let her know. U got your flowers ready. Your chocolates. A nicely written card in hand writing, which nobody even write any more (real talk? I haven't hand written anything since 2011 😂. Like when iMessage brought in doodles, I had to re-learn how to write letters 😫). But anyway, u got your whole situation ready, and u gon risk it all. Game winner at the buzzer from half court. Today? A lot of Stephanie's, Melissa's and Emily's gon learn that u MADLY in love with her ass. Now there's a 1 in 1,000 chance she like u back, and she gon be thrilled. The other 999 gon be hella uncomfortable and no offense but tonight? U gon be their snap story Bruh 😂. Pic: roses and chocolates. Over-text: "OMG Nick you are the sweetest friend I could ask for!!!" And just like that yo chest gon cave in and u gon lose your breath which hasn't happened since the ball hit u in the stomach in third grade kickball. Two important lessons will be learned today. First, nick, u gon learn he hard way to keep it G 😂. Being lovey dovey is a wonderful trait but it's a time and a place and u gotta first make sure you're in there. U feel me? For all the young ladies, u gon be like "FML I REALLY LIKE PEDRO WHY COULDN'T HE BE THE ONE TO GET ME FLOWERS 😫". Because baby. Pedro ain't about shit. Pedro never bringing u flowers. YOU COULD HAVE HIS BABY AND NO FLOWERS 😂. So today u gon learn a important lesson - it's gon be men who adore u but u don't like them, and it's gon be men u adore but they don't see u anything as late night Punani. The key is to find a man in the middle, who gets your heart racing and also treat u how u need to be treated. Don't settle for Nick OR Pedro - be patient and u gon find a man who do both. Ya get me! Bless up 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Say Bruh shout to u lovey dovey motherfuckers that's gon risk it all tonight. Y'all know who the hell y'all are, don't pretend. Y'all in...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: look at those little white socks!
 @Dr Smashlove
Shout to u girls that's needy Bruh I fucks with y'all. To be honest? I can't fuck with a girl that's not needy. Why you so un-needy all of a sudden? You texting somebody else? GOOD. HAVE A GREAT LIFE WITH HIM - GOODBYE AF. 😂 Nah but real talk I need a girl where I pass out and fall asleep early one night and wake up to 16 progressively angrier texts. "Hey you 😊"..."Heyyyyy"..."why are you ignoring me lol"..."SUP MOTHERFUCKER WYA". And then two WhatsApp messages: "OH HEY - THE FUCK YOU AT"..."YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU TESTING ME." Then a Snapchat of just the Punani with the following overtext: "MEMORIZE THIS PUNANI THAT YOU WILL *NEVER* TOUCH AGAIN OL LYING ASS - TRIFLING ASS - IGNORING LOOKIN ASS - BITCH U AIN'T SHIT. DELETE ME. BECAUSE I ALREADY BLOCKED YOU." And then the Grand Finale. The Copestone. The Coupe de Grâce. This is reserved for the absolute craziest of the crazies. The email on your work email server. Subject line: "Hey". Text: "hey. Just worried about you baby. You ok? Because you better not be. You literally better be kidnapped and held hostage in a basement somewhere because if you're alive and we'll I'm gonna come blow up the skyscraper you work in - FYI. Goodbye. You're blocked over text so reply via email please - thank you." That's it. That right there is true love. Ain no such thing as needy and un-needy Bruh. She either so in love that she go to sleep plotting on how she gon kill you (after she experience that perfect dick one last time) - or she just think u aight. As for me? I prefer true love 🤗. May u all find someone who will not only kill for you, but will also literally kill you - like slit your throat out of passionate love 😍. Ya get me! Bless up 😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: look at those little white socks!
 @Dr Smashlove
Shout to u girls that's needy Bruh I fucks with y'all. To be honest? I can't fuck with a girl that's not needy. Why you so un-needy all of a sudden? You texting somebody else? GOOD. HAVE A GREAT LIFE WITH HIM - GOODBYE AF. 😂 Nah but real talk I need a girl where I pass out and fall asleep early one night and wake up to 16 progressively angrier texts. "Hey you 😊"..."Heyyyyy"..."why are you ignoring me lol"..."SUP MOTHERFUCKER WYA". And then two WhatsApp messages: "OH HEY - THE FUCK YOU AT"..."YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU TESTING ME." Then a Snapchat of just the Punani with the following overtext: "MEMORIZE THIS PUNANI THAT YOU WILL *NEVER* TOUCH AGAIN OL LYING ASS - TRIFLING ASS - IGNORING LOOKIN ASS - BITCH U AIN'T SHIT. DELETE ME. BECAUSE I ALREADY BLOCKED YOU." And then the Grand Finale. The Copestone. The Coupe de Grâce. This is reserved for the absolute craziest of the crazies. The email on your work email server. Subject line: "Hey". Text: "hey. Just worried about you baby. You ok? Because you better not be. You literally better be kidnapped and held hostage in a basement somewhere because if you're alive and we'll I'm gonna come blow up the skyscraper you work in - FYI. Goodbye. You're blocked over text so reply via email please - thank you." That's it. That right there is true love. Ain no such thing as needy and un-needy Bruh. She either so in love that she go to sleep plotting on how she gon kill you (after she experience that perfect dick one last time) - or she just think u aight. As for me? I prefer true love 🤗. May u all find someone who will not only kill for you, but will also literally kill you - like slit your throat out of passionate love 😍. Ya get me! Bless up 😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Shout to u girls that's needy Bruh I fucks with y'all. To be honest? I can't fuck with a girl that's not needy. Why you so un-needy all o...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: She's helping do the dishes
 DrSmashlove
Men lemme holla at y'all. Humor is important. Cracking jokes is important. Now a lot of y'all gon crack a joke and then wait to see the reply and when she reply, u trying to understand the meaning. With that said here go smash's guide to girls replying to funny texts: (1) "lol". No laughter happened. No laughter will ever happen. Lower case 'lol' means she's either mad at you or doesn't care about you. Either way, fix this shit Bruh, because communication is on life support and u may never touch or feel that Punani ever again. (2) "LOL". That was legit funny. Nice work. She turned caps lock on for you. You stuck the joke. She didn't laugh but it was still humorous content. Now keep it G before you say something unfunny and she gotta pretend that she working when really she just done witchoe moderately funny ass. (3) "OMG LOL 😂". Congrats, you said said some extra funny shit. Like she's not laughing but she's laughing in her head and if people were around, she'd giggle for real. Very nice. Keep going. (4) "YOU'RE A MESS 😂😂😂😂😂". This is the holy grail. She laughed so hard she peed a little (incidentally, if a girl is either hella entertained or hella turned on, she pees a little (what do u y'all think squirting is 😎)). In any event u just said some legitimately absolutely fvcking hilarious shit. So funny in fact that she thinks you're slightly unstable, which makes her also horny in a way she's not happy about. Like "why am I horny off of a man's twisted, unstable humor? This isn't natural. Damn you, vagina! Always being mysterious and shit." This is what u aiming for Bruh. U wanna be a mess. If she think u a mess, she fux with you for real and potentially wanna have chirren. Now go forth and be messy. U get me! Bless up 😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: She's helping do the dishes
 DrSmashlove
Men lemme holla at y'all. Humor is important. Cracking jokes is important. Now a lot of y'all gon crack a joke and then wait to see the reply and when she reply, u trying to understand the meaning. With that said here go smash's guide to girls replying to funny texts: (1) "lol". No laughter happened. No laughter will ever happen. Lower case 'lol' means she's either mad at you or doesn't care about you. Either way, fix this shit Bruh, because communication is on life support and u may never touch or feel that Punani ever again. (2) "LOL". That was legit funny. Nice work. She turned caps lock on for you. You stuck the joke. She didn't laugh but it was still humorous content. Now keep it G before you say something unfunny and she gotta pretend that she working when really she just done witchoe moderately funny ass. (3) "OMG LOL 😂". Congrats, you said said some extra funny shit. Like she's not laughing but she's laughing in her head and if people were around, she'd giggle for real. Very nice. Keep going. (4) "YOU'RE A MESS 😂😂😂😂😂". This is the holy grail. She laughed so hard she peed a little (incidentally, if a girl is either hella entertained or hella turned on, she pees a little (what do u y'all think squirting is 😎)). In any event u just said some legitimately absolutely fvcking hilarious shit. So funny in fact that she thinks you're slightly unstable, which makes her also horny in a way she's not happy about. Like "why am I horny off of a man's twisted, unstable humor? This isn't natural. Damn you, vagina! Always being mysterious and shit." This is what u aiming for Bruh. U wanna be a mess. If she think u a mess, she fux with you for real and potentially wanna have chirren. Now go forth and be messy. U get me! Bless up 😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Men lemme holla at y'all. Humor is important. Cracking jokes is important. Now a lot of y'all gon crack a joke and then wait to see the r...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: Peek-a-boo
 (a Drsmashlove
Relatable because I do this when I'm going down on girls with huge Punani lips TheySayDontPlayWitchoeFood ButDeezMeatCurtainsWereMadeForFun 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
nsfw

        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: Peek-a-boo
 (a Drsmashlove
Relatable because I do this when I'm going down on girls with huge Punani lips TheySayDontPlayWitchoeFood ButDeezMeatCurtainsWereMadeForFun 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Relatable because I do this when I'm going down on girls with huge Punani lips TheySayDontPlayWitchoeFood ButDeezMeatCurtainsWereMadeForF...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: I'm currently screaming
 @Dr Smashlove
So my homegirl was texting a dude from tinder. He said some shit that made her rethink whether or not she liked him and cancelled plans. Homeboy sent a bunch of nasty texts ending with "MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT YOUR REAL AGE ON YOUR PROFILE. AND CHILL WITH ALL THE MAKE-UP." A couple observations. (1) Lemme get this straight. U men wanna text a bunch of girls u met online, waste their time, never link up, but if a girl wanna cancel plans, which is her God damn right, u wanna get tight about it. Ok 🤔. (2) What do y'all think is accomplished with these rants? Like is it suppose to make her change her mind? "You know what, thank you. I am indeed old. And, by golly, I wear excessive amounts of make-up. Maybe you can teach me to be a better human, Mike. I'd like to retract the cancellation. Let's meet at 8 pm. Perhaps you can impart further wisdom upon me." HELL TO THE FVCK NAH 😂. She gon screen shot your crazy ass and share it with her homegirls, along with pics of your small PP having ass. With that said, be respectful. First, because it make u a good human. Second - and this is what u may not realize - u actually have a second shot. Check back in four months. By then, she deleted u. Hit her on a Saturday night like "yo! U out? :)" And she like "lol new phone sorry!! Who's this?" And u say "it's Mike. We met on tinder a few months ago but never got around to linking up 🙃". She'll wait exactly two mins and 45 seconds and then say "ah. I forgot what you look like 😬 can u send a pic". DO NOT SEND A PIC FROM YOUR PROFILE. Send the best pic u have that's chill and doesn't imply douchebaggery. If your lil sister is cute, send a pic with her. She be like "aye he has a sister. Dudes with sisters can't be serial killers(?) I shaved the Punani and Bill bailed on me - fuck it, let's give 'Stranger Mike' a shot". (U will be know to all her friends as 'Stranger Mike' FYI. Like you'll come out to the living room in boxer briefs and her roommate Alyssa will be like 'Stranger Mike what's up STRANGER ol stranger-danger lookin ass 😝'. You'll even be 'Stranger Mike' at the wedding. And now u in a good marriage BECAUSE U KEPT IT G, MIKE. BLESS UP 🙌
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: I'm currently screaming
 @Dr Smashlove
So my homegirl was texting a dude from tinder. He said some shit that made her rethink whether or not she liked him and cancelled plans. Homeboy sent a bunch of nasty texts ending with "MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT YOUR REAL AGE ON YOUR PROFILE. AND CHILL WITH ALL THE MAKE-UP." A couple observations. (1) Lemme get this straight. U men wanna text a bunch of girls u met online, waste their time, never link up, but if a girl wanna cancel plans, which is her God damn right, u wanna get tight about it. Ok 🤔. (2) What do y'all think is accomplished with these rants? Like is it suppose to make her change her mind? "You know what, thank you. I am indeed old. And, by golly, I wear excessive amounts of make-up. Maybe you can teach me to be a better human, Mike. I'd like to retract the cancellation. Let's meet at 8 pm. Perhaps you can impart further wisdom upon me." HELL TO THE FVCK NAH 😂. She gon screen shot your crazy ass and share it with her homegirls, along with pics of your small PP having ass. With that said, be respectful. First, because it make u a good human. Second - and this is what u may not realize - u actually have a second shot. Check back in four months. By then, she deleted u. Hit her on a Saturday night like "yo! U out? :)" And she like "lol new phone sorry!! Who's this?" And u say "it's Mike. We met on tinder a few months ago but never got around to linking up 🙃". She'll wait exactly two mins and 45 seconds and then say "ah. I forgot what you look like 😬 can u send a pic". DO NOT SEND A PIC FROM YOUR PROFILE. Send the best pic u have that's chill and doesn't imply douchebaggery. If your lil sister is cute, send a pic with her. She be like "aye he has a sister. Dudes with sisters can't be serial killers(?) I shaved the Punani and Bill bailed on me - fuck it, let's give 'Stranger Mike' a shot". (U will be know to all her friends as 'Stranger Mike' FYI. Like you'll come out to the living room in boxer briefs and her roommate Alyssa will be like 'Stranger Mike what's up STRANGER ol stranger-danger lookin ass 😝'. You'll even be 'Stranger Mike' at the wedding. And now u in a good marriage BECAUSE U KEPT IT G, MIKE. BLESS UP 🙌
                
            

            
            
So my homegirl was texting a dude from tinder. He said some shit that made her rethink whether or not she liked him and cancelled plans....

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: me: no thanks i'm on a diet hehe
 me 10 minutes later:
 Dr Smashlove
Ladies if we go out to dinner getchu a molten chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. Maybe some mochi, if we at a sushi joint (might I suggest the red bean - it don't taste like beans - the Japanese done worked they magic on it and now it taste like fruit 😍). A serving of sorbet, if that's what floats your boat. A 'seasonal fruit bowl', if that catches your fancy (side note: how these high class joints get away with charging $11 for nine raspberries and eight blueberries Bruh? That's seasonal robbery right there FFS 😂). A plate of 'zeppole', perhaps (that's Italian for 'Dunkin Donut donut holes' or, for my fine ass Canadian readers, 'Timbits' 😍). Eat that sugar baby girl. You'll need them calories for later. As for me, the dessert I desire resides between your thighs. Put it on me. Suffocate me, mama. Let me inhale that Punani essence - sweeter than a batch of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. Let your waterfall of mango-flavored honey drizzle drench my sensibilities until I can no longer think straight and am consumed in infatuation and adoration. U feel me? Let me dive in the Punani and swim across your ocean. I love worldly desserts as much as anyone but I know there is a higher dessert. A sweeter one. A more fragrant, intoxicating one. More intoxicating that that peach cobbler when u woozy afterward and u all like "waitress what they put in this joint" and she all "the chef prepares it in a French liquer" and u just like "ok dammit, I'm drunk off a dessert now, this wasn't how tonight was suppose to go" 😫😂. In any event, feed me mama. U the dessert chef tonight. Like a episode of Chopped where u making a rare and delicious form of ice cream - and all the judges like "SHE'S GOING FOR IT - SHE'S GOING FOR THE ICE CREAM MAKER - SHE'S DOING IT" <- they always say this...every episode 😂. Pour that ice cream on me mama. U win this round. U win every round. U the new mildly-creepy salty steak chef dude. Slap me. Massage me. Throw me on the fire, u feel me? Just let me get that Nani first - and imma die a happy man 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: me: no thanks i'm on a diet hehe
 me 10 minutes later:
 Dr Smashlove
Ladies if we go out to dinner getchu a molten chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. Maybe some mochi, if we at a sushi joint (might I suggest the red bean - it don't taste like beans - the Japanese done worked they magic on it and now it taste like fruit 😍). A serving of sorbet, if that's what floats your boat. A 'seasonal fruit bowl', if that catches your fancy (side note: how these high class joints get away with charging $11 for nine raspberries and eight blueberries Bruh? That's seasonal robbery right there FFS 😂). A plate of 'zeppole', perhaps (that's Italian for 'Dunkin Donut donut holes' or, for my fine ass Canadian readers, 'Timbits' 😍). Eat that sugar baby girl. You'll need them calories for later. As for me, the dessert I desire resides between your thighs. Put it on me. Suffocate me, mama. Let me inhale that Punani essence - sweeter than a batch of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. Let your waterfall of mango-flavored honey drizzle drench my sensibilities until I can no longer think straight and am consumed in infatuation and adoration. U feel me? Let me dive in the Punani and swim across your ocean. I love worldly desserts as much as anyone but I know there is a higher dessert. A sweeter one. A more fragrant, intoxicating one. More intoxicating that that peach cobbler when u woozy afterward and u all like "waitress what they put in this joint" and she all "the chef prepares it in a French liquer" and u just like "ok dammit, I'm drunk off a dessert now, this wasn't how tonight was suppose to go" 😫😂. In any event, feed me mama. U the dessert chef tonight. Like a episode of Chopped where u making a rare and delicious form of ice cream - and all the judges like "SHE'S GOING FOR IT - SHE'S GOING FOR THE ICE CREAM MAKER - SHE'S DOING IT" <- they always say this...every episode 😂. Pour that ice cream on me mama. U win this round. U win every round. U the new mildly-creepy salty steak chef dude. Slap me. Massage me. Throw me on the fire, u feel me? Just let me get that Nani first - and imma die a happy man 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Ladies if we go out to dinner getchu a molten chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. Maybe some mochi, if we at a...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: Two chunky bugs having all the hugs
 DrSmashlove
I go to a girl crib and I see two gigantic Extra Value Meal Big Mac Super Size fries lookin-ass kitty cats like this Bruh and I know it's finna be a long, painful, sneezy, allergic ass night. Kitty cats like this Bruh they ain't the pets. The woman living there - she the pet. THE CATS own that crib. The human just pay the rent and hook up the cat food and the cat nip. Meanwhile these big ass felines just destroying everything in sight, sitting on everything in sight, and leaving copious amounts of dander wherever their heart desire Bruh. Note to the men. Don't take a Benadryl when u go to a girl crib and she got cats like this. Empty two capsules on her bathroom counter and snort them bitches like they pure white coca - u feel me? U Tony Montana right now and all u tryina do is survive long enuf to introduce her to yo litto fren. So with that said shout to u savage ladies with the big hairy ominous hangry lookin ass kitty cats. They gon make me struggle to breathe. But they ain't gon stop my determination to slay the Punani. Imma befriend them big ass animals. Imma pet them. Imma love them. "Listen u obese creatures, smash loves all of God's creatures. Sit on my lap. Cover my Canali trousers in cat dander, don't worry about it, the Asian dry cleaner lady know all my secrets 😍. Express great suspicion at first as u size me up as to whether I'm a cat person or just a pretender and within four minutes, purr and make googly eyes at me as I rub your soft underbelly while your mama gazes lovingly at me. And all the while, imma hold them tears in. Just like a sad movie imma keep swallowing hard and keep it G and not pretend like I'm suffocating in real time. And when I get to that bed imma give yo mama that absolute A1 sleepy cat dander Benadryl Dih. U feel me? Imma lay so much pipe that the Union Plumbers gon try to hire me. Ya get me! Bless up, kitty cats. Y'all my new friends now. Let's go long term. We family now. Get used to me 🤗." 😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: Two chunky bugs having all the hugs
 DrSmashlove
I go to a girl crib and I see two gigantic Extra Value Meal Big Mac Super Size fries lookin-ass kitty cats like this Bruh and I know it's finna be a long, painful, sneezy, allergic ass night. Kitty cats like this Bruh they ain't the pets. The woman living there - she the pet. THE CATS own that crib. The human just pay the rent and hook up the cat food and the cat nip. Meanwhile these big ass felines just destroying everything in sight, sitting on everything in sight, and leaving copious amounts of dander wherever their heart desire Bruh. Note to the men. Don't take a Benadryl when u go to a girl crib and she got cats like this. Empty two capsules on her bathroom counter and snort them bitches like they pure white coca - u feel me? U Tony Montana right now and all u tryina do is survive long enuf to introduce her to yo litto fren. So with that said shout to u savage ladies with the big hairy ominous hangry lookin ass kitty cats. They gon make me struggle to breathe. But they ain't gon stop my determination to slay the Punani. Imma befriend them big ass animals. Imma pet them. Imma love them. "Listen u obese creatures, smash loves all of God's creatures. Sit on my lap. Cover my Canali trousers in cat dander, don't worry about it, the Asian dry cleaner lady know all my secrets 😍. Express great suspicion at first as u size me up as to whether I'm a cat person or just a pretender and within four minutes, purr and make googly eyes at me as I rub your soft underbelly while your mama gazes lovingly at me. And all the while, imma hold them tears in. Just like a sad movie imma keep swallowing hard and keep it G and not pretend like I'm suffocating in real time. And when I get to that bed imma give yo mama that absolute A1 sleepy cat dander Benadryl Dih. U feel me? Imma lay so much pipe that the Union Plumbers gon try to hire me. Ya get me! Bless up, kitty cats. Y'all my new friends now. Let's go long term. We family now. Get used to me 🤗." 😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
I go to a girl crib and I see two gigantic Extra Value Meal Big Mac Super Size fries lookin-ass kitty cats like this Bruh and I know it's...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: And then God said: "Who's a good boy?"
 DrSmashlove
Men lemme holla at y'all. If u going down on yo girl. And u hitting all the right spots. And bam - u push her over the edge and she bust - I know a lot of y'all wanna do a celebration dance, pat yourself on the back, give a victory speech, tearfully thank yo mama for raising a man who know how to please a woman, and then immediately get to laying a lil pipe. No. This is amateur hour sh*t Bruh. U just unlocked Level 1. U broke a few bricks and grabbed a few coins now u think u beat Super Mario. Aw hell nah. Keep going. She gon try to pry u off, just like u pry her off when u done - well, be patient, let her collect her thoughts, let sensitivity return to her nether regions while u kiss her soft, wet thighs around it, and then like DJ Khaled said, Bruh: "Another one." This is not about making sure she get the minimum. U trying to be the best ever. U feel me? U trying to unlock levels she ain't seen before. Keep going. Fvck u in a rush for? Stay down there in the trenches and keep working. U feel me? Kill that Punani. Deceased. Give her another one. U should have yo girl digging her nails in yo scalp Bruh. She should be speaking in tongues. U should damn near need to perform an Exorcism at the end. U gotta get her to a point where any other man in her orbit text her and she hit them with "Hi! I lost my phone (and all my contacts 😬). Who is this?" You feel me? Go for the gold with yo tongue Bruh. That's the sexual organ that some of u men forget about. Well it's time to remember it. In 2017, lock arm in arm with me, brothers. TeamKillThePunani - Ya get me! We'll get jerseys and everything. Here's to more life more success and most importantly more Punani devouring. Go for the gold Bruh...the only place that matters is first place 🥇. Bless up 🙌😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: And then God said: "Who's a good boy?"
 DrSmashlove
Men lemme holla at y'all. If u going down on yo girl. And u hitting all the right spots. And bam - u push her over the edge and she bust - I know a lot of y'all wanna do a celebration dance, pat yourself on the back, give a victory speech, tearfully thank yo mama for raising a man who know how to please a woman, and then immediately get to laying a lil pipe. No. This is amateur hour sh*t Bruh. U just unlocked Level 1. U broke a few bricks and grabbed a few coins now u think u beat Super Mario. Aw hell nah. Keep going. She gon try to pry u off, just like u pry her off when u done - well, be patient, let her collect her thoughts, let sensitivity return to her nether regions while u kiss her soft, wet thighs around it, and then like DJ Khaled said, Bruh: "Another one." This is not about making sure she get the minimum. U trying to be the best ever. U feel me? U trying to unlock levels she ain't seen before. Keep going. Fvck u in a rush for? Stay down there in the trenches and keep working. U feel me? Kill that Punani. Deceased. Give her another one. U should have yo girl digging her nails in yo scalp Bruh. She should be speaking in tongues. U should damn near need to perform an Exorcism at the end. U gotta get her to a point where any other man in her orbit text her and she hit them with "Hi! I lost my phone (and all my contacts 😬). Who is this?" You feel me? Go for the gold with yo tongue Bruh. That's the sexual organ that some of u men forget about. Well it's time to remember it. In 2017, lock arm in arm with me, brothers. TeamKillThePunani - Ya get me! We'll get jerseys and everything. Here's to more life more success and most importantly more Punani devouring. Go for the gold Bruh...the only place that matters is first place 🥇. Bless up 🙌😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Men lemme holla at y'all. If u going down on yo girl. And u hitting all the right spots. And bam - u push her over the edge and she bust...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: well hi there
 @DrSmashlove
See that bashful look on the left, Bruh? That's a woman's expression after she just took it way, way too far on yo ass. A little argument got opened up. Little bitty argument. U like "Hey baby. You bought 2% milk. I like vitamin D in my coffee tho? No biggie I'm just saying for next time." Aw nah. Aw hell nah. She was already mad. FVCK your vitamin D milk Bruh. That's when she open up that: "OH MR 2% HUH. CAN'T DRINK 2%. WHAT ELSE DO I NOT DO RIGHT HUH? WHAT ELSE DO I NOT DO EXACTLY...LIKE YOUR MAMA...OR YOUR EX. GOT ANY OTHER CRITIQUES WITH YOUR CRITIQUIN' ASS? HOW ABOUT LEMME CRITIQUE HOW U DON'T EVEN TELL ME I'M PRETTY ANY MORE. U WANNA CRITIQUE ME? CRITIQUE ME MOTHERFVCKER! WHAT ELSE!! I'M PRETTIER THAN ANY OF THESE NASTY HOES WHOSE PICS U LIKING ON THE GRAM! UGH! U DISGUST ME! I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT U!!!!!" And u just standing there in utter disbelief with your coffee rethinking the entire relationship and that's when she give u puppy eyes. That's when she realize she done opened your heart like a open heart surgeon, took a little poop inside your heart, sewed your heart back up, and then now u coming back to life and her eyes are like "wow baby I really pooped on your soul, here's some crushed hospital ice while your heart heals up I feel bad now." Men when this happens, do not encourage. Do not be an enabler. Do not "baby it's ok" her ass. When she trip like that, that's when u toss her ass on the bed like a rag doll and give her that "I'm extremely mad at u for a valid reason" pipe. Channel all of your scorn into your penile appendage. Go ham and bananas on the Punani, u feel me? Smash them cheeks to smithereens. U Paul Bunyan...and yo PP is a axe. Chop that booty in half Bruh. U earned it. SHE earned it. Hit corners of the Punani u never hit before. And don't be nice. No pleasantries. Just the steely determination of a man who earned a well-deserved anger-smash. And I tell u this. Ol girl gon be wetter than the cot damn Nile River on yo ass Bruh. U gon strip the bed down after and even the mattress gon be wet. Bam. Win win. U feel me? THAT'S HOW TF U END A NON-ARGUMENT - BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: well hi there
 @DrSmashlove
See that bashful look on the left, Bruh? That's a woman's expression after she just took it way, way too far on yo ass. A little argument got opened up. Little bitty argument. U like "Hey baby. You bought 2% milk. I like vitamin D in my coffee tho? No biggie I'm just saying for next time." Aw nah. Aw hell nah. She was already mad. FVCK your vitamin D milk Bruh. That's when she open up that: "OH MR 2% HUH. CAN'T DRINK 2%. WHAT ELSE DO I NOT DO RIGHT HUH? WHAT ELSE DO I NOT DO EXACTLY...LIKE YOUR MAMA...OR YOUR EX. GOT ANY OTHER CRITIQUES WITH YOUR CRITIQUIN' ASS? HOW ABOUT LEMME CRITIQUE HOW U DON'T EVEN TELL ME I'M PRETTY ANY MORE. U WANNA CRITIQUE ME? CRITIQUE ME MOTHERFVCKER! WHAT ELSE!! I'M PRETTIER THAN ANY OF THESE NASTY HOES WHOSE PICS U LIKING ON THE GRAM! UGH! U DISGUST ME! I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT U!!!!!" And u just standing there in utter disbelief with your coffee rethinking the entire relationship and that's when she give u puppy eyes. That's when she realize she done opened your heart like a open heart surgeon, took a little poop inside your heart, sewed your heart back up, and then now u coming back to life and her eyes are like "wow baby I really pooped on your soul, here's some crushed hospital ice while your heart heals up I feel bad now." Men when this happens, do not encourage. Do not be an enabler. Do not "baby it's ok" her ass. When she trip like that, that's when u toss her ass on the bed like a rag doll and give her that "I'm extremely mad at u for a valid reason" pipe. Channel all of your scorn into your penile appendage. Go ham and bananas on the Punani, u feel me? Smash them cheeks to smithereens. U Paul Bunyan...and yo PP is a axe. Chop that booty in half Bruh. U earned it. SHE earned it. Hit corners of the Punani u never hit before. And don't be nice. No pleasantries. Just the steely determination of a man who earned a well-deserved anger-smash. And I tell u this. Ol girl gon be wetter than the cot damn Nile River on yo ass Bruh. U gon strip the bed down after and even the mattress gon be wet. Bam. Win win. U feel me? THAT'S HOW TF U END A NON-ARGUMENT - BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
See that bashful look on the left, Bruh? That's a woman's expression after she just took it way, way too far on yo ass. A little argument...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Punany: The only magazine l want to read
 @DrSmashlove
 DOG
Ladies listen. If u talking to a man. And u angry at him. And u text with him. And u send him 17 well-written paragraphs about some shit that got u feeling tight. Don't force his ass to respond right away. Let him reflect. Let him soak that shit in. I know how u ladies are. Y'all just can't write 17 paragraphs. Y'all gotta do one more sentence. Y'all gotta put his ass on the spot. "RESPOND, MOTHERFVCKER. DON'T U DARE GO SILENT ON ME." Ladies lemme tell u something. This 17 paragraphs that u mad about? U been thinking about it for days. Maybe weeks. Now - after u unload on lil homie - u want a full, detailed bullet point response in 19 seconds or less. No. Give him a second. Let him read that shit. Let him respond in due course. In fact - TELL HIM to respond in due course. U feel me? Be like: "This was on my mind and I wanted to get it out rather than hold it in. I don't need a response now." Bam. Now a man is gonna do one of a few things. (1) Call u - good. That mean he wanna fix this shit. (2) Immediately apologize - BEWARE AF 😂. A man's whose apology game is too strong? U gotta be careful. He ain't tryina discuss shit - he just think all women are trippin at all times and he wanna get back to being in the Punani as quick as possible. Again - handle with care. He could be a real Joanna the Scammer in sheep clothing. (3) He might go silent. This mean he either thinking about things, or he really, truly, at the bottom of his heart...don't give a FLYING fvck about you 😂. Now here's the tough part. It's a fine line. He could be speechless over how bad he hurt you - if so, he'll speak up soon, and open a meaningful dialogue about making things right. Or he'll just faaaaaaaaade awaaaaaaaaay from yo ass. Either way, nothing wrong with seeing where u stand. But regardless. Give him time. Working shit out take thought. And care. Don't put someone special to u on the spot. Let him see things from your view. Ya get me! Bless up 😍
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Punany: The only magazine l want to read
 @DrSmashlove
 DOG
Ladies listen. If u talking to a man. And u angry at him. And u text with him. And u send him 17 well-written paragraphs about some shit that got u feeling tight. Don't force his ass to respond right away. Let him reflect. Let him soak that shit in. I know how u ladies are. Y'all just can't write 17 paragraphs. Y'all gotta do one more sentence. Y'all gotta put his ass on the spot. "RESPOND, MOTHERFVCKER. DON'T U DARE GO SILENT ON ME." Ladies lemme tell u something. This 17 paragraphs that u mad about? U been thinking about it for days. Maybe weeks. Now - after u unload on lil homie - u want a full, detailed bullet point response in 19 seconds or less. No. Give him a second. Let him read that shit. Let him respond in due course. In fact - TELL HIM to respond in due course. U feel me? Be like: "This was on my mind and I wanted to get it out rather than hold it in. I don't need a response now." Bam. Now a man is gonna do one of a few things. (1) Call u - good. That mean he wanna fix this shit. (2) Immediately apologize - BEWARE AF 😂. A man's whose apology game is too strong? U gotta be careful. He ain't tryina discuss shit - he just think all women are trippin at all times and he wanna get back to being in the Punani as quick as possible. Again - handle with care. He could be a real Joanna the Scammer in sheep clothing. (3) He might go silent. This mean he either thinking about things, or he really, truly, at the bottom of his heart...don't give a FLYING fvck about you 😂. Now here's the tough part. It's a fine line. He could be speechless over how bad he hurt you - if so, he'll speak up soon, and open a meaningful dialogue about making things right. Or he'll just faaaaaaaaade awaaaaaaaaay from yo ass. Either way, nothing wrong with seeing where u stand. But regardless. Give him time. Working shit out take thought. And care. Don't put someone special to u on the spot. Let him see things from your view. Ya get me! Bless up 😍
                
            

            
            
Ladies listen. If u talking to a man. And u angry at him. And u text with him. And u send him 17 well-written paragraphs about some shit...