Please Shut Up


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Omg Why
        

            
            Omg Why
        

    

    

         
Omg Why

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        almighty
        

            
            almighty
        

    

    

         
almighty

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        the love
        

            
            the love
        

    

    

         
the love

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        loves
        

            
            loves
        

    

    

         
loves

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        lovely
        

            
            lovely
        

    

    

         
lovely

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        pleased
        

            
            pleased
        

    

    

         
pleased

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        people
        

            
            people
        

    

    

         
people

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        please
        

            
            please
        

    

    

         
please

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        shy
        

            
            shy
        

    

    

         
shy

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        🤖
        

            
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🤖

    



                
            

        

    
    

        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Please Shut Up: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
advice-animal:

How to Fuck your Dragon
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Please Shut Up: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
advice-animal:

How to Fuck your Dragon
                
            

            
            
advice-animal:

How to Fuck your Dragon

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Please Shut Up: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
How to Fuck your Dragon
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Please Shut Up: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
How to Fuck your Dragon
                
            

            
            
How to Fuck your Dragon

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Please Shut Up: Actual Quotes from my Dad (An
 English Teacher)
 Dad: Why the hell did vou put a comma there?
 Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
 Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time
 Dad: Who should 1 dress up as for the movie premier?
 Dad: Hey are you awake? 1 know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right?
 Yeah. 1 need you to read this report. 1 can't tell if I am just super tired or if
 this is actual bullshit.
 Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for
 doesn't care. 1 hate her
 Dad: 1 need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
 her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she
 Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know 1 don't like tattoos
 and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
 Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today
 Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and 1 have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great
 Expectations.
 Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
 Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book 1 stole from Mrs.
 Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
 Dad: "puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that 1
 read them*
 Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society
 You aren't my son. Leave
 Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get
 discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all 1 can
 afford, so
 ...
 Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
 Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really
 need to know
 Dad: Fuck the government
 Dad: Fuck the school board.
 Dad: Close the door
 Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and 1 hate him, but he
 also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha, DICKens.
 Dad:I love puns.
 Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes
 Dad: Please shut up
 Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels
 weird
 Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change
 your ringtones to inappropriate rap music
 Dad: fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of
 Austria-Hungary today and 1 almost told her to get out.
 Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there
 Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
 Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm
 too
 Dad: If1 have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one
 more dance, 1 will kill them both.
 Dad: They act like 1 care what they think.
 Dad: I hate homework.
 Dad: 1 have decided to become a politician.
 Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and
 the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman?
 Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
 JAN
 VIA THISISANATATTACK
 "I TEACH SO MANY ALESHAS
 SO MANY
 399a2NOTE
An English teacher, uncensored
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Please Shut Up: Actual Quotes from my Dad (An
 English Teacher)
 Dad: Why the hell did vou put a comma there?
 Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
 Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time
 Dad: Who should 1 dress up as for the movie premier?
 Dad: Hey are you awake? 1 know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right?
 Yeah. 1 need you to read this report. 1 can't tell if I am just super tired or if
 this is actual bullshit.
 Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for
 doesn't care. 1 hate her
 Dad: 1 need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
 her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she
 Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know 1 don't like tattoos
 and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
 Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today
 Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and 1 have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great
 Expectations.
 Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
 Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book 1 stole from Mrs.
 Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
 Dad: "puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that 1
 read them*
 Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society
 You aren't my son. Leave
 Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get
 discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all 1 can
 afford, so
 ...
 Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
 Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really
 need to know
 Dad: Fuck the government
 Dad: Fuck the school board.
 Dad: Close the door
 Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and 1 hate him, but he
 also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha, DICKens.
 Dad:I love puns.
 Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes
 Dad: Please shut up
 Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels
 weird
 Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change
 your ringtones to inappropriate rap music
 Dad: fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of
 Austria-Hungary today and 1 almost told her to get out.
 Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there
 Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
 Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm
 too
 Dad: If1 have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one
 more dance, 1 will kill them both.
 Dad: They act like 1 care what they think.
 Dad: I hate homework.
 Dad: 1 have decided to become a politician.
 Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and
 the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman?
 Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
 JAN
 VIA THISISANATATTACK
 "I TEACH SO MANY ALESHAS
 SO MANY
 399a2NOTE
An English teacher, uncensored
                
            

            
            
An English teacher, uncensored