Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel

Jimmy Kimmel

Academy Awards
Academy Awards

Academy Awards

Tiffany Haddish
Tiffany Haddish

Tiffany Haddish

Meryl Streep
Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep

jet
jet

jet

Tweets
Tweets

Tweets

Inspirational
Inspirational

Inspirational

Memes Meryl
Memes Meryl

Memes Meryl

Tom Hank
Tom Hank

Tom Hank

Wonned
Wonned

Wonned

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Target, Tumblr, and Blog: neuroxin: megsmerizing-allurement: oscartheamstaff: A very excited boy I would die for Oscar. I would kill for Oscar.
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: neuroxin:

megsmerizing-allurement:

oscartheamstaff:
A very excited boy

I would die for Oscar.

I would kill for Oscar.

neuroxin: megsmerizing-allurement: oscartheamstaff: A very excited boy I would die for Oscar. I would kill for Oscar.

God, Monster, and Movies: INTERNATIONAL INTERNATIONAL SAN DIEGO AN DIE ECON CONCON CON INTERNA INTER INTERNATIONAL 1N DIEG0 OIEGO SAN DIEGO CON OUG NO CON DIEGO CON INTERNATIONAL ONAL INTERNATIONAL IN E WATIONAL TERNATIONA SAN DIEGO CON SAN OIEG0 0 93 eONCON CO SAN OIEG N OIEG CO INTERNATIO COMICE CO OM feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was.  When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical:  When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x) Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor.  “We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x) Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak just to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior.  What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman.  Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man.  So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder?  He makes her Thor.  Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words.  What a photo. What a film. What a man. 
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feministscoundrel:

This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why. 
Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was. 
When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical: 
When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x)
Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor. 
“We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x)
Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak just to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior. 
What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman. 
Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man. 
So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder? 
He makes her Thor. 
Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words. 
What a photo. What a film. What a man. 

feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not...

Gif, God, and Monster: INTERNATIONAL INTERNATIONAL SAN DIEGO AN DIE ECON CONCON CON INTERNA INTER INTERNATIONAL 1N DIEG0 OIEGO SAN DIEGO CON OUG NO CON DIEGO CON INTERNATIONAL ONAL INTERNATIONAL IN E WATIONAL TERNATIONA SAN DIEGO CON SAN OIEG0 0 93 eONCON CO SAN OIEG N OIEG CO INTERNATIO COMICE CO OM ebonyheartnet: jewishdragon: feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was.  When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical:  When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x) Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor.  “We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x) Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior.  What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman.  Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man.  So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder?  He makes her Thor.  Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words.  What a photo. What a film. What a man.  Wiatiti And Portman are also BOTH jewish! Jews lifting up Jews!
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ebonyheartnet:
jewishdragon:

feministscoundrel:

This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why. 
Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was. 
When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical: 
When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x)
Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor. 
“We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x)
Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior. 
What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman. 
Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man. 
So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder? 
He makes her Thor. 
Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words. 
What a photo. What a film. What a man. 


Wiatiti And Portman are also BOTH jewish! Jews lifting up Jews!

ebonyheartnet: jewishdragon: feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shu...

God, Monster, and Movies: INTERNATIONAL INTERNATIONAL SAN DIEGO AN DIE ECON CONCON CON INTERNA INTER INTERNATIONAL 1N DIEG0 OIEGO SAN DIEGO CON OUG NO CON DIEGO CON INTERNATIONAL ONAL INTERNATIONAL IN E WATIONAL TERNATIONA SAN DIEGO CON SAN OIEG0 0 93 eONCON CO SAN OIEG N OIEG CO INTERNATIO COMICE CO OM feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was.  When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical:  When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x) Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor.  “We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x) Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior.  What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman.  Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man.  So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder?  He makes her Thor.  Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words.  What a photo. What a film. What a man. 
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feministscoundrel:
This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why. 
Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not to sign any new contract not just because of the way her character was treated (though there is that) but because Thor: The Dark World was slated to be the first Marvel movie directed by a woman, her friend (and eventual Wonder Woman director) Patty Jenkins. Portman hadn’t planned on being in The Dark World, but lept at the chance to be a part of feminist history and to be directed in what would have beenJenkin’s first film since her 2003 Oscar-winning Monster. Portman signed a new contract with Marvel. They fired Jenkins soon after. Portman was crushed because she essentially had been duped into a contract for a film that would keep her away from her young son and force her back into a one-dimensional role under yet another male director. And we all remember how awful that movie was. 
When it came time for the third Thor movie, they tried to get Portman under contract again. And she said no. Marvel decided to spin the story to make it seem like it was all their idea. At first, they went for the lame and nonsensical: 
When Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige was asked about why she wouldn’t be in the third film, and said there were “many reasons, many of which are in the film, so you will see that” continuing with “There are only a couple of scenes on Earth in this movie. The majority, 95 percent of the movie, takes place in the cosmos.” (x)
Seeing as The Dark World also took place in space, this answer didn’t have a lot of credibility. When Portman said she was “done” with the Marvel Universe, Feige got vicious in interviews, telling reporters that Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be better than Jane Foster and a better match for Thor. 
“We wanted Thor to encounter somebody that was near his equal and that his relationship with Jane may have evolved in unexpected ways in between The Dark World and Ragnarok, and we wanted to pit him against a character who was much more his equal and in many ways his superior.” (x)
Feige implies that A) Valkyrie was in Ragnorak to be a romantic interest for Thor, B) Valkyrie is better and more powerful than Jane Foster, and C) Jane Foster was always Thor’s inferior. 
What’s ridiculous is that Ragnorak had a “sorry Jane dumped you” throwaway line to explain Portman’s absence. And instead of saying that Jane and Thor broke up in interviews, a line that does not spoil literally anything about the film, Feige chose to attack Jane’s strength and capability, which would have been a very special dig at Portman. 
Do you want to know what none of this sounds like? Taika Waititi’s opinion. Waititi is a master storyteller who does not sacrifice his feminist views for laughs. You can bet that Feige’s ridiculous slams on Portman and her character Jane– disguised as “promotion” for WAITITI’S FILM– would have troubled him immensely. This is a man with a Māori father, who had to use his mother’s maiden name– Cohen– for earlier work because an indigenous last name kept him away from opportunity. This man does NOT fuck around with entertainment that gets its power off of sexism and inequality. He knows from experience just how infuriating it is when it comes to directors missing out on opportunities because they aren’t a white man. 
So how does he fix this? How does he fix the idea that Jane Foster can’t go to space, or that she’s not powerful enough for Thor, the god of thunder? 
He makes her Thor. 
Waititi saw Portman / Jane Foster’s name dragged through the mud by Kevin Feige in order to promote his movie, and when he got hired to direct again, he decided to right those wrongs. This picture means everything. He is on his knee, handing her Thor’s hammer, essentially saying, you will never have to go through that shit with me. With me, you’re a god. And the expression on her face, after Marvel attempted to break her, doesn’t need words. 
What a photo. What a film. What a man. 

feministscoundrel: This photo means a lot to me. And I’ll tell you why.  Natalie Portman, as we know, was shut out of Marvel. She chose not ...

Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, Xxx: OK, so, our that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX: A true programmer
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story:
 build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know,
 Xxx: OK, so, our
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything
 - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login.
 xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".
 xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am.
 xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
 XX:
A true programmer

A true programmer

Blade, God, and Love: no INVADER5, FRIEND! JUST POPPED Out co BOBBOW MY BROCHER'S AX JARNBJORn FOR A BIC. no one 15 Anyone in JOTUNHEIM WITHOUT A BLADE, RIGHT? ...AnD I BACHER DOUBT THEY'D HAVE LEC mE KEEP HEIMDALL'S 5WORD. BIGHT on cue. WHAT HO, CICIZENS! HOW CAN YOUR KING SERVE HIS PEOPLE THIS FINE, BLUSTERY DAY? WE SAW THE BIFROST, "YOUR MAJESTY." WE FEARED IT MAY BE AN ATTACK FROM SOME...ASGARDIAN INVADER. RRG--THE SWORD THAT KILLED KING LAUFEY you'D BE CLOSE I KILLED LAUFEY THE SWORD HELPED. HADN'T YOu HEARD? I'm A HERO now. HERE'S A SECRET ABOUT JOTUNHEIM-- THERE'S MAGIC in THE AIR SNRRT BUT CHE AVERAGE DenIZEn 1sn't WHAT YOU'D CALL...ADEPT. MY TRIBE WILL RESPECT YOUR BLOOD CLAIM TO THE THRONE BUT SURRENDER THE IMPLING HE IS A NUISANCE WITH A CHILD'S MIND AND NO TASTE FOR BATTLE HE'LL COOK FASTER THAN ANY GOAT. 15 CHAC WHO I Am TO BE KING OF? A PACK OF CANNIBALS? IT'S NOT CANNIBALISM IF HE'S NOT ONE OF US. OF COURSE "not onE OF US." GODS, BUT I Am CIRED OF "HAVE AT HEARING CHAT. VERY WELL THEN THAT I5, IF I WAS FIGHTING FAIR. THERE'S onLY onE THING THESE GIANTS RESPECT. I'm GOING TO NEED TO GET A LITTLE BIGGER. XY DNX YB XY PYSR THEE." I'm COMPLETELY DOOMED, OF COURSE NO, YOUR MAJESTY! LIKE AN AVENGER. (YOu KnoW THE ONE.) DRBF! WHAC ARE YOU DOING?! I'm CASTINGA SPELL CO SAVE uS, you SUICIDAL SnoW monKEy! PLEASE, NO MORE! NO MORE BLOOD! NO. THIS OutComE WAS not ENTIRELY EXPECTED. SO BE IT! TO THE END OF KINGS!!! THE WAR IS OVER. HRRGMPH. WE'LL SEE THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAR. HE'S RIGHT, in HI5 5TONE BRAINED WAY AND I WAS WBONG. noT EVERYONE I15 BORN 5MALL WELL. THAT WAS EXCITiNG. PERHAPS NEXT Time, I SHOULD BORROW MJOLNIR. I IMAGINE I'LL BE WORTHY enouGH Any DAY now CHANК УOu FOR THE RESCUE, DRBF, MAKER-OF-Fun NUISANCE-OF JOCUNHEIM. 50mE OF U5 ARE BORN GIANTS. I HAVE An unusuAL PROPOSICION FOR YOu THIS I5 THE SCORY OF THE TIME AFCER THE WAR. OF HOW THE SMALLEST OF THE GIANTS CAME TO SIT AT THE RIGHT HAND OF THE THRONE.... ...AnD A SCORY OF THE OUTCAST WHO WOULD SIT UPON IT. A NEW KIND OF KING. A NEW KIND OF GOD. ONE WHO BULES nOt BY THE BLADE GRUMBLE AS YOU LIKE, SICKLE, BUT THE SMALL ONE IS ANOINTED. AND PROTECTED BESIDES SRRF FOR NOW But BY THE SHIELD. TO BE CONTINUED IN KI why-i-love-comics: War of the Realms: Omega #1 - “Born Small” (2019)written by Daniel Kibblesmithart by Oscar Bazaldua & David Curiel
Blade, God, and Love: no INVADER5,
 FRIEND! JUST POPPED
 Out co BOBBOW MY
 BROCHER'S AX JARNBJORn
 FOR A BIC. no one 15
 Anyone in JOTUNHEIM
 WITHOUT A BLADE,
 RIGHT?
 ...AnD I
 BACHER DOUBT
 THEY'D HAVE
 LEC mE KEEP
 HEIMDALL'S
 5WORD.
 BIGHT
 on cue.
 WHAT HO,
 CICIZENS! HOW
 CAN YOUR KING
 SERVE HIS PEOPLE
 THIS FINE,
 BLUSTERY
 DAY?
 WE SAW
 THE BIFROST,
 "YOUR MAJESTY."
 WE FEARED IT MAY
 BE AN ATTACK FROM
 SOME...ASGARDIAN
 INVADER.
 RRG--THE
 SWORD THAT
 KILLED KING
 LAUFEY
 you'D BE
 CLOSE
 I KILLED
 LAUFEY
 THE
 SWORD
 HELPED.
 HADN'T
 YOu HEARD?
 I'm A HERO
 now.
 HERE'S A SECRET
 ABOUT JOTUNHEIM--
 THERE'S MAGIC in
 THE AIR
 SNRRT
 BUT CHE
 AVERAGE
 DenIZEn 1sn't
 WHAT YOU'D
 CALL...ADEPT.

 MY TRIBE WILL
 RESPECT YOUR BLOOD
 CLAIM TO THE THRONE
 BUT SURRENDER THE IMPLING
 HE IS A NUISANCE WITH A
 CHILD'S MIND AND NO
 TASTE FOR BATTLE
 HE'LL COOK
 FASTER THAN
 ANY GOAT.
 15 CHAC
 WHO I Am
 TO BE KING OF?
 A PACK OF
 CANNIBALS?
 IT'S NOT
 CANNIBALISM
 IF HE'S NOT ONE
 OF US.
 OF
 COURSE
 "not onE
 OF US."
 GODS, BUT
 I Am CIRED OF "HAVE AT
 HEARING CHAT.
 VERY WELL
 THEN
 THAT I5, IF I WAS
 FIGHTING FAIR. THERE'S
 onLY onE THING THESE
 GIANTS RESPECT. I'm
 GOING TO NEED TO GET
 A LITTLE BIGGER.
 XY
 DNX YB XY
 PYSR
 THEE."
 I'm
 COMPLETELY
 DOOMED, OF
 COURSE
 NO, YOUR
 MAJESTY!
 LIKE AN
 AVENGER.
 (YOu KnoW
 THE ONE.)
 DRBF! WHAC
 ARE YOU DOING?!
 I'm CASTINGA SPELL
 CO SAVE uS, you
 SUICIDAL SnoW
 monKEy!
 PLEASE,
 NO MORE!
 NO MORE
 BLOOD!

 NO.
 THIS
 OutComE WAS
 not ENTIRELY
 EXPECTED.
 SO BE
 IT!
 TO
 THE END OF
 KINGS!!!
 THE
 WAR IS
 OVER.
 HRRGMPH.
 WE'LL
 SEE
 THERE
 IS ALWAYS
 ANOTHER
 WAR.
 HE'S RIGHT, in
 HI5 5TONE
 BRAINED WAY

 AND I WAS
 WBONG. noT
 EVERYONE I15
 BORN 5MALL
 WELL. THAT
 WAS EXCITiNG.
 PERHAPS NEXT
 Time, I SHOULD
 BORROW
 MJOLNIR.
 I
 IMAGINE I'LL
 BE WORTHY
 enouGH Any
 DAY now
 CHANК УOu
 FOR THE RESCUE,
 DRBF, MAKER-OF-Fun
 NUISANCE-OF
 JOCUNHEIM.
 50mE OF U5
 ARE BORN
 GIANTS.
 I HAVE
 An unusuAL
 PROPOSICION
 FOR YOu
 THIS I5 THE SCORY OF THE
 TIME AFCER THE WAR. OF HOW
 THE SMALLEST OF THE GIANTS
 CAME TO SIT AT THE RIGHT
 HAND OF THE THRONE....
 ...AnD A SCORY OF THE OUTCAST
 WHO WOULD SIT UPON IT.
 A NEW KIND OF
 KING. A NEW KIND
 OF GOD.
 ONE WHO
 BULES nOt BY
 THE BLADE
 GRUMBLE AS
 YOU LIKE, SICKLE,
 BUT THE SMALL ONE
 IS ANOINTED. AND
 PROTECTED
 BESIDES
 SRRF
 FOR NOW
 But BY THE
 SHIELD.
 TO BE CONTINUED IN
 KI

why-i-love-comics:

War of the Realms: Omega #1 - “Born Small” (2019)written by Daniel Kibblesmithart by Oscar Bazaldua & David Curiel

why-i-love-comics: War of the Realms: Omega #1 - “Born Small” (2019)written by Daniel Kibblesmithart by Oscar Bazaldua