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at the mall
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Alive, Being Alone, and Bad: Follow April 25 A MOTHER'S WORST FEAR The Door to Freedom.. The last thing I remember telling the police before they took me away was where Arabella's diapers were and how to take care of her. I felt confused scared and in shock at the thought of not being with my daughter all the time....having to uphold some ideal image of what a mother should be For those who don't know my story it probably feels like I just dropped a bomb on you so let's start at the very beginning... When I first found out I was pregnant the first emotion I remember feeling was anger At that time in my life I wasn't ready for a child. I was busy chasing guys, having sex, and working 11 hour 'dream job' shifts, and contemplating going to vet school. I thought I was 'connected and living the life but I wasn't. I was connected to a deeper drive. A drive to be good' at all costs...a drive to subscribe to what I thought on some level would award me love. You know? THE AMERICAN DREAM... Go to college get a degree build a family etc. None of it felt easy. It often felt like trying to swim against a strong current...the current being my heart. I subscribed to the american dream for a while and even now, as I look back, I wouldn't change the lessons I learned and how it inevitably led me to where I am today but before we get there back to the story.. When I got pregnant I was technically adult (26) but in many ways I was stll a child inside...I hadn't broken free from the constraints of expectations I had taken on from my parents and society. I was dead inside and using sex, work, social media, and food to cope with it. After I found out I was pregnant I considered abortion. Iremember my mom had told me she had one before yet something in me told me no. I wanted to go through with it even though I had no clue who I was or what I was doing. Time passed and my pregnancy didn't get any easier. Work was a struggle. I remember going to farmers markets selling dog treats at 30 weeks after my soul cat suddenly died in my arms. I was at an was shot. I felt alone more thanI ever had and relied heavily on my partner I time low. My self esteem to be there when he wasn't 'home' either I soon got a job as a secretary and found myself following the footsteps of my mother. She was a secretary when she was pregnant with me... Working for 'the man' while her dreams desires passions were put on hold to make a living to make a life for me. She wanted to give me the freedom she never had and the security that she never felt. Being the oldest female she became a mom before she was ready. She had to grow up before she was ready to help her mom who was crumbling as a mostly single mother of 5. I remember hearing stories about grandma lashing out in anger at all 5 kids and imagined that she must've felt trapped too..in this dynamic that has been going on for a LONG time. The cycle came here to break. If I knew what it would take to break this cycle I wouldn't have chosen the path I've walked. I would've told myself it would be too painful and wrong and yet my soul set everything up perfectly and whether I liked it or not. I had signed up for the death of the mother image whether I liked it or not. I chose my path. МОTHERHOOD... I've never been one to pretend to like something I don't and motherhood was one of those dislikes for me. The expectations of motherhood my brain downloaded for the sake of inclusion and connection (as a mother) fucking sucked. I bucked kicked and screamed at them the whole way. My anger was always bubbling beneath the surface ready to come out and react at every 'little" thing. Yet, thing is it WASNT little." It was never about the spilled milk, the poopy messes, or the loud toys. It was about how deprived of love, passion, and turn on I was. My cup was more than empty so the little things always came out BIG. didn't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with myself much less another human being. I remember it getting so bad that I ended up screaming in my Arabella's face when she was an infant because I felt sleep deprived and poweriess to what she needed. Her dad was asleep on the couch pretending to stay asleep because he had work. I felt utterly alone and enslaved to the needs of another human being. It was the perfect recipe for anger and resentment. aPSUa I was selling my soul for money and 'cookies' following the footsteps of a civilized American mom while my wild heart cried out in pain so deep that not even I could hear her. I had pushed her down so far that the only ways I knew how to deal with the grief of that separation at the time was reactivity sex and work. I felt trapped in a world I didn't want to live in. I felt enslaved to an image wanted to shatter. I wanted more for my life and Arabella and felt powerless to creating it especially under the belief that a mother MUST ALWAYS be with her children. I mean if that was true then I was fucked and so was she. When Arabella was about 1 I started going on Tinder. I felt a hunger rising in me. I wanted to feel wanted again and sex seemed like the next best thing. A quick and easy fix to patch over the gaping grief l couldn't bare to look at. After I started meeting quys for quick fucks it became clear how much I wanted to escape my reality as a mother. It became clear that I wanted to feel pleasure...that I wanted to feel ALIVE and even though sex seemed like the answer it wasn't. Time passed and I got bored with Tinder. I started focusing on my career and ended up meeting a guy at an intuitive arts fair. There was IMMEDIATE sexual chemistry. We started dating and my sex drive went through the roof. Not only was he better than the shotty tinder material he was well seasoned in his sexual ity. He gave me permission to express my sexuality in new and exciting ways that I had been longing for. I felt alive again and I attributed it to him. I spent as much time with him as possible and would have Baby sitters and family to watch Arabella just about every weekend. I was addicted to feeling alive thinking it came from HIM. I had no idea that he was pointing to something that I had long forgotten within me. I often felt wrong for having so much fun (without Arabella) when we were apart I never thought of her enough to text to see how she was. I felt guilty thinking that I should be like every other mom and sacrifice myself for her but deep down I knew that that wouldn't help me OR her. I started to see that the more I was happy the more she was happy. It was this fleeting happiness that had become dependent on whether or not I was with my bf or not. The less time I spent with him the more I went into feeling angry and powerless. I was relying on him to BE my source of pleasure. I still had no idea what it felt like to feel turned on in my own light. I spent a lot of time online sharing emotional videos of how motherhood was wearing on me. I eventually started talking about sex. I was having so much fun with my bf and my online followers that I made a sex group wherel encouraged us all to share sex stories in a safe space. As the posts trickled in a mom had mentioned how she rarely has sex because her kids are always around. Wanting to push the boundaries of society and not really thinking responded saying "Oh I've had sex in the same room hlla before I was bouncing on his cock while she was bouncing on his chest. as So of course, given that no context was shared around this statement, I started receiving messages telling me "you're going to rot in jail." This is still the hardest part of my story to share because of how shocking it is and how much it shuts people down and kicks their judgements into overdrive. The only thing that keeps me from NOT sharing it is my commitment to the bigger message behind all of this So context wise (if you're still coherently listening and curious)is: A was 2.5 at the time asleep in her bed next to mine. My bf and I woke up before her and started having sex and she woke up seeing me bouncing thinking I was playing so she started bouncing on her bed and came over to where we were I didn't want to shame her so I didn't just jump up and freak out. I allowed the situation to dissipate by focusing on the play aspect INSTEAD of the sexual. At the time I didn't know what the term sex positive meant.. All I knew was that I didn't want her to experience the sexual shame and shut down I experienced...that I didn't want her to feel a sense of 'wrong when it came sex And what gets twisted is that a sex positive approach is seen as grooming on INVOLVING children in sexual acts which is the direction CPS and the cops took my situation. My post was turned in a long with a picture of me and A in the bathtub where she was pouring water on my leg which was made to be perverted by a woman who had her chief of police husband and news reporter file a police report On the afternoon of August 1st I got a call from CPS and set up a visit with seize them. Later that night the police broke down my door with a warrant my electronics. They found a picture I had taken of A playing naked in a tub in my bfs backyard while he was sitting naked on the couch in the background. That was, as you can imagine, enough for the conservative county of Montgomery TX to take me in under the charge 'indecent exposure with a child At that point I was in pure shock. I couldn't feel a thing or smile for months and even though my story is dramatic my hope is that you don't get SO caught up in the drama that you miss the bittersweet beauty of the journey itself. Shock was the beginning of the mom image shattering for me....Resistance was the second. I didn't know how to let go so the first thing I went to to cope was work. (self development and hustling). I was determined to make everything right. I clung even more to the image of a 'good mom and what that would mean. Thoughts would run through my head like... What kind of mom doesn't have her shit together for her daughter? What kind of mom doesn't work and take care of everything? What kind of mom loses' her daughter? What kind of mom doesn't have a nice place and a school set up for her daughter? and whether I was aware of these thoughts or not they were driving me. The hard truth underneath it all was that I was grieving. I had been grieving most of my life. I thought I was grieving Arabella but through lots of retreats therapy tears and shifts I came to realize that what I was REALLY grieving was my heart (that Arabella so beautifully reflected back to me). I was grieving my dreams desires and passions that I had pushed down rejected and shamed. I was grieving my love. I had become so shut down afraid and walled off from the world that the big beautiful bold sensual radiant parts of me had become dormant. What first felt like a loss turned out to be the biggest miracle of my life. A miracle of love rising in in the 'impossible' Learning to dance through the biggest storm of my life was a miracle. To be as open loving and happy as I am now is a miracle (pain and beauty included). It was not easy to face my sexual shame, grief, and choices that led to an unfulfilled life. I was not easy to see that I was the one who created my life down to every last detail all the way from my childhood to now. The separation with Arabella being a huge part of that. And the joy and the sensual aliveness that has come from that (mess and all) is everything I've always wanted AND it is a path I would've never consciously chosen for myself. I have been reborn and as dramatic as my path has been I wouldn't change it for the world because know if I did I wouldn't be here speaking to it and delivering a message that has the power to create new worlds where women are free from the role of 'mother. If you're a mom still reading this I want to tell you something from my heart to yours from the depths of my soul to yours...as much as you may believe your role to be your children there is more love and purpose for you here. The world needs your light. I had no idea what the world was missing from me until started to come back to life laughing playing dreaming and creating. The color flooded back through the tears and the willingness to love again...I began to remember my innocence my DESIRE, my essence, and my wild heart that never burned out...my love that knows no bounds. Living my pleasure is the greatest gift I can possibly give myself and the children that choose me as their vessel to experience theirs. I'm traveling, dancing, and living in the city of my choice with incredible supportive friends. It seems like it wasn't that long ago when I was looking out through a glass wall wondering when it would be my turn to play and have fun. I sat on the sidelines pouting. I forgot who I was and that, with every cell of my being, I have the power to make my dreams come true. LOVE created the miracle that is now my life and when you say "But what about your daughter?" My response is this...she is not mine to claim. She is on her path and l am on mine. We are forever connected. I choose to trust that every decision I make simply because it feels good is a love letter I write not only to her but to every child woman and man on this planet One of the most brain dead, irresponsible “mothers” in existence. TD:LR in comments
Alive, Being Alone, and Bad: Follow
 April 25
 A MOTHER'S WORST FEAR
 The Door to Freedom..
 The last thing I remember telling the police before they took me away was
 where Arabella's diapers were and how to take care of her.
 I felt confused scared and in shock at the thought of not being with my
 daughter all the time....having to uphold some ideal image of what a mother
 should be
 For those who don't know my story it probably feels like I just dropped a
 bomb on you so let's start at the very beginning...
 When I first found out I was pregnant the first emotion I remember feeling
 was anger
 At that time in my life I wasn't ready for a child. I was busy chasing guys,
 having sex, and working 11 hour 'dream job' shifts, and contemplating going
 to vet school.
 I thought I was 'connected and living the life but I wasn't. I was connected to
 a deeper drive. A drive to be good' at all costs...a drive to subscribe to what
 I thought on some level would award me love.
 You know?
 THE AMERICAN DREAM...
 Go to college get a degree build a family etc. None of it felt easy. It often felt
 like trying to swim against a strong current...the current being my heart. I
 subscribed to the american dream for a while and even now, as I look back, I
 wouldn't change the lessons I learned and how it inevitably led me to where I
 am today but before we get there back to the story..
 When I got pregnant I was technically adult (26) but in many ways I was stll
 a child inside...I hadn't broken free from the constraints of expectations I had
 taken on from my parents and society.
 I was dead inside and using sex, work, social media, and food to cope with
 it. After I found out I was pregnant I considered abortion.
 Iremember my mom had told me she had one before yet something in me
 told me no.
 I wanted to go through with it even though I had no clue who I was or what I
 was doing.
 Time passed and my pregnancy didn't get any easier. Work was a struggle. I
 remember going to farmers markets selling dog treats at 30 weeks after my
 soul cat suddenly died in my arms. I was at an
 was shot. I felt alone more thanI ever had and relied heavily on my partner
 I time low. My self esteem
 to be there when he wasn't 'home' either
 I soon got a job as a secretary and found myself following the footsteps of
 my mother. She was a secretary when she was pregnant with me... Working
 for 'the man' while her dreams desires passions were put on hold to make a
 living to make a life for me.
 She wanted to give me the freedom she never had and the security that she
 never felt.
 Being the oldest female she became a mom before she was ready. She had
 to grow up before she was ready to help her mom who was crumbling as a
 mostly single mother of 5.
 I remember hearing stories about grandma lashing out in anger at all 5 kids
 and imagined that she must've felt trapped too..in this dynamic that has
 been going on for a LONG time.
 The cycle came here to break. If I knew what it would take to break this cycle
 I wouldn't have chosen the path I've walked.
 I would've told myself it would be too painful and wrong and yet my soul set
 everything up perfectly and whether I liked it or not.
 I had signed up for the death of the mother image whether I liked it or not. I
 chose my path.
 МОTHERHOOD...
 I've never been one to pretend to like something I don't and motherhood was
 one of those dislikes for me.
 The expectations of motherhood my brain downloaded for the sake of
 inclusion and connection (as a mother) fucking sucked.
 I bucked kicked and screamed at them the whole way. My anger was always
 bubbling beneath the surface ready to come out and react at every 'little"
 thing.
 Yet, thing is it WASNT little."
 It was never about the spilled milk, the poopy messes, or the loud toys. It
 was about how deprived of love, passion, and turn on I was.
 My cup was more than empty so the little things always came out BIG.
 didn't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with myself much less another
 human being.
 I remember it getting so bad that I ended up screaming in my Arabella's face
 when she was an infant because I felt sleep deprived and poweriess to what
 she needed.
 Her dad was asleep on the couch pretending to stay asleep because he had
 work. I felt utterly alone and enslaved to the needs of another human being.
 It was the perfect recipe for anger and resentment.
 aPSUa
 I was selling my soul for money and 'cookies' following the footsteps of a
 civilized American mom while my wild heart cried out in pain so deep that
 not even I could hear her.
 I had pushed her down so far that the only ways I knew how to deal with the
 grief of that separation at the time was reactivity sex and work.
 I felt trapped in a world I didn't want to live in. I felt enslaved to an image
 wanted to shatter. I wanted more for my life and Arabella and felt powerless
 to creating it especially under the belief that a mother MUST ALWAYS be
 with her children.
 I mean if that was true then I was fucked and so was she.
 When Arabella was about 1 I started going on Tinder. I felt a hunger rising in
 me. I wanted to feel wanted again and sex seemed like the next best thing.
 A quick and easy fix to patch over the gaping grief l couldn't bare to look at.
 After I started meeting quys for quick fucks it became clear how much I
 wanted to escape my reality as a mother.
 It became clear that I wanted to feel pleasure...that I wanted to feel ALIVE
 and even though sex seemed like the answer it wasn't.
 Time passed and I got bored with Tinder. I started focusing on my career and
 ended up meeting a guy at an intuitive arts fair. There was IMMEDIATE
 sexual chemistry.
 We started dating and my sex drive went through the roof. Not only was he
 better than the shotty tinder material he was well seasoned in his sexual ity.
 He gave me permission to express my sexuality in new and exciting ways
 that I had been longing for. I felt alive again and I attributed it to him.
 I spent as much time with him as possible and would have Baby sitters and
 family to watch Arabella just about every weekend.
 I was addicted to feeling alive thinking it came from HIM. I had no idea that
 he was pointing to something that I had long forgotten within me.
 I often felt wrong for having so much fun (without Arabella) when we were
 apart I never thought of her enough to text to see how she was.
 I felt guilty thinking that I should be like every other mom and sacrifice myself
 for her but deep down I knew that that wouldn't help me OR her.
 I started to see that the more I was happy the more she was happy. It was
 this fleeting happiness that had become dependent on whether or not I was
 with my bf or not. The less time I spent with him the more I went into feeling
 angry and powerless.
 I was relying on him to BE my source of pleasure. I still had no idea what it
 felt like to feel turned on in my own light.
 I spent a lot of time online sharing emotional videos of how motherhood was
 wearing on me. I eventually started talking about sex. I was having so much
 fun with my bf and my online followers that I made a sex group wherel
 encouraged us all to share sex stories in a safe space.
 As the posts trickled in a mom had mentioned how she rarely has sex
 because her kids are always around.
 Wanting to push the boundaries of society and not really thinking
 responded saying "Oh I've had sex in the same room hlla before I
 was bouncing on his cock while she was bouncing on his chest.
 as
 So of course, given that no context was shared around this statement, I
 started receiving messages telling me "you're going to rot in jail."
 This is still the hardest part of my story to share because of how shocking it
 is and how much it shuts people down and kicks their judgements into
 overdrive.
 The only thing that keeps me from NOT sharing it is my commitment to the
 bigger message behind all of this
 So context wise (if you're still coherently listening and curious)is: A was 2.5
 at the time asleep in her bed next to mine. My bf and I woke up before her
 and started having sex and she woke up seeing me bouncing thinking I was
 playing so she started bouncing on her bed and came over to where we
 were
 I didn't want to shame her so I didn't just jump up and freak out. I allowed the
 situation to dissipate by focusing on the play aspect INSTEAD of the sexual.
 At the time I didn't know what the term sex positive meant..
 All I knew was that I didn't want her to experience the sexual shame and
 shut down I experienced...that I didn't want her to feel a sense of 'wrong
 when it came
 sex
 And what gets twisted is that a sex positive approach is seen as grooming on
 INVOLVING children in sexual acts which is the direction CPS and the cops
 took my situation.
 My post was turned in a long with a picture of me and A in the bathtub where
 she was pouring water on my leg which was made to be perverted by a
 woman who had her chief of police husband and news reporter file a police
 report
 On the afternoon of August 1st I got a call from CPS and set up a visit with
 seize
 them. Later that night the police broke down my door with a warrant
 my electronics.
 They found a picture I had taken of A playing naked in a tub in my bfs
 backyard while he was sitting naked on the couch in the background.
 That was, as you can imagine, enough for the conservative county of
 Montgomery TX to take me in under the charge 'indecent exposure with a
 child
 At that point I was in pure shock. I couldn't feel a thing or smile for months
 and even though my story is dramatic my hope is that you don't get SO
 caught up in the drama that you miss the bittersweet beauty of the journey
 itself.
 Shock was the beginning of the mom image shattering for me....Resistance
 was the second.
 I didn't know how to let go so the first thing I went to to cope was work. (self
 development and hustling). I was determined to make everything right. I
 clung even more to the image of a 'good mom and what that would mean.
 Thoughts would run through my head like...
 What kind of mom doesn't have her shit together for her daughter?
 What kind of mom doesn't work and take care of everything? What kind of
 mom loses' her daughter?
 What kind of mom doesn't have a nice place and a school set up for her
 daughter? and whether I was aware of these thoughts or not they were
 driving me.
 The hard truth underneath it all was that I was grieving. I had been grieving
 most of my life. I thought I was grieving Arabella but through lots of retreats
 therapy tears and shifts I came to realize that what I was REALLY grieving
 was my heart (that Arabella so beautifully reflected back to me).
 I was grieving my dreams desires and passions that I had pushed down
 rejected and shamed. I was grieving my love.
 I had become so shut down afraid and walled off from the world that the big
 beautiful bold sensual radiant parts of me had become dormant.
 What first felt like a loss turned out to be the biggest miracle of my life. A
 miracle of love rising in in the 'impossible'
 Learning to dance through the biggest storm of my life was a miracle. To be
 as open loving and happy as I am now is a miracle (pain and beauty
 included).
 It was not easy to face my sexual shame, grief, and choices that led to an
 unfulfilled life.
 I was not easy to see that I was the one who created my life down to every
 last detail all the way from my childhood to now.
 The separation with Arabella being a huge part of that.
 And the joy and the sensual aliveness that has come from that (mess and
 all) is everything I've always wanted AND it is a path I would've never
 consciously chosen for myself.
 I have been reborn and as dramatic as my path has been I wouldn't change
 it for the world because know if I did I wouldn't be here speaking to it and
 delivering a message that has the power to create new worlds where women
 are free from the role of 'mother.
 If you're a mom still reading this I want to tell you something from my heart
 to yours from the depths of my soul to yours...as much as you may believe
 your role to be your children there is more love and purpose for you here.
 The world needs your light.
 I had no idea what the world was missing from me until started to come
 back to life laughing playing dreaming and creating. The color flooded back
 through the tears and the willingness to love again...I began to remember my
 innocence my DESIRE, my essence, and my wild heart that never burned
 out...my love that knows no bounds.
 Living my pleasure is the greatest gift I can possibly give myself and the
 children that choose me as their vessel to experience theirs.
 I'm traveling, dancing, and living in the city of my choice with incredible
 supportive friends. It seems like it wasn't that long ago when I was looking
 out through a glass wall wondering when it would be my turn to play and
 have fun. I sat on the sidelines pouting. I forgot who I was and that, with
 every cell of my being, I have the power to make my dreams come true.
 LOVE created the miracle that is now my life and when you say "But what
 about your daughter?" My response is this...she is not mine to claim. She is
 on her path and l am on mine. We are forever connected. I choose to trust
 that every decision I make simply because it feels good is a love letter I write
 not only to her but to every child woman and man on this planet
One of the most brain dead, irresponsible “mothers” in existence. TD:LR in comments

One of the most brain dead, irresponsible “mothers” in existence. TD:LR in comments

Apparently, Ass, and Driving: l Verizon 8:26 PM 37% 1 hr My blow n go has been pulling up the last few days giving 7/17 for violation! Here I am thinking, what the hell, I'm extremely careful what I do, I know I didn't drive with alcohol in my system.. Did I leave my car unlocked and someone blew into it & fucked up my shit? Did I have pizza breath (yeast) while driving? Here I am thinking shit....great now I'm gonna have to do time for violating probation for whatever reason that I have idea is... Took the car into the ignition interlock company today to investigate it thru the interlock video camera inside the car.... .Apparently the blow n go had been going off for a good 9 minutes beeping me to blow while I was driving, and on the camera you can CLEARLY see my distraction ass jamming out cranked up loud to an EDM mix a friend showed me, frame by frame you can see me warning that my car will be locked out on me a going balls to the wall AYup this is head banging to the EDM mix type of shit that would happen to me!! I got so distracted that I didnt even hear the damn thing some beeps off when it wanted me to blow just had to pay a $50 fine for a "no blow" violation but So l other than that jail time or nothing. Moral of the no story.... If you have a ignition interlock, don't bump your music so damn loud to the point where you can't hear the shit beep 19 4 Comments Bit of a read, but I was blown away by how he genuinely thinks this is a funny story and decided to share it with everyone..
Apparently, Ass, and Driving: l Verizon
 8:26 PM
 37%
 1 hr
 My blow n go has been pulling up the last few days
 giving
 7/17 for violation! Here I am thinking, what the hell, I'm
 extremely careful what I do, I know I didn't drive with
 alcohol in my system.. Did I leave my car unlocked
 and someone blew into it & fucked up my shit? Did I
 have pizza breath (yeast) while driving? Here I am
 thinking shit....great now I'm gonna have to do time for
 violating probation for whatever reason that I have
 idea is... Took the car into the ignition interlock
 company today to investigate it thru the interlock
 video camera inside the car.... .Apparently the blow n
 go had been going off for a good 9 minutes beeping
 me to blow while I was driving, and on the camera you
 can CLEARLY see my distraction ass jamming out
 cranked up loud to an EDM mix a friend showed me,
 frame by frame you can see me
 warning that my car will be locked out on
 me a
 going balls to the wall
 AYup this is
 head banging to the EDM mix
 type of shit that would happen to me!! I got so
 distracted that I didnt even hear the damn thing
 some
 beeps off when it wanted me to blow
 just had to pay a $50 fine for a "no blow" violation but
 So l
 other than that
 jail time or nothing. Moral of the
 no
 story.... If you have a ignition interlock, don't bump
 your music so damn loud to the point where you can't
 hear the shit beep
 19
 4 Comments
Bit of a read, but I was blown away by how he genuinely thinks this is a funny story and decided to share it with everyone..

Bit of a read, but I was blown away by how he genuinely thinks this is a funny story and decided to share it with everyone..

Beer, Bitch, and Cum: Board /b/- Random Settings Home Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)00:34:49 No.804770108 (Reply] >be me >grandmas 500 pound bundle of joy >l struggle to get from my bed to my walker >try to use my Cheeto stained hands and start sweating just trying to move fuckit.jpg >start jacking off to the lady on my prescription hemorrhoid cream bottle cum buckets its like custard >pull out the last bit out of my prince parts hole >consistency like silly string >wipe my pits with jack off hand >smell >makes me wanna start floating like a cartoon character >want to show grandma >call out "granny your baby has something to show you!" >silence ill show that dumb decrepit bitch, how dare she ignore my genius >waddle up out of my bed >tread through the cigarette stained mattress countless tissues on the floor, piss jugs and beer cans >make it to hallway >kiss Amy rose picture I have hanging in hallway >my good boy lips leave a orange stain on the frame >ive developed natural lipstick from Chesters good boy treats >make it to stairs and see granny floating from chandelier >big braided necklace on her neck >I wanna float too >try to jump but don't get far >pout >idea >start waddling as fast as I can jump manage to flip over railing and grab nans legs >"wee I'm flying with granny!" >granny must've been here a while she stinky >all of a sudden her necklace rips >her body breaks my fall >lots of koolaid spreading must've landed on the table see grannies head on other side of room >get up after what seems like decades >put my hand in like a puppet "hey nana can I have a blowy joey" >"sure thing my prince" >reward myself for my smelly discovery >grannies head, infinite blowey joeys >"I'm the man granny, I just wish you didn't have this note with a number to a so called hit man with my name on it" "im not gay I don't want this man to hit on me" >im hearing knocking at the door bros ill keep you posted File: 1562130932496 jpg (14 KB, 280x280) Page 4 Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue) 00:25:1 1 AL o Anon wants to brag
Beer, Bitch, and Cum: Board /b/- Random
 Settings Home
 Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)00:34:49
 No.804770108 (Reply]
 >be me
 >grandmas 500 pound bundle of joy
 >l struggle to get from my bed to my
 walker
 >try to use my Cheeto stained hands
 and start sweating just trying to move
 fuckit.jpg
 >start jacking off to the lady on my
 prescription hemorrhoid cream bottle
 cum buckets
 its like custard
 >pull out the last bit out of my prince parts hole
 >consistency like silly string
 >wipe my pits with jack off hand
 >smell
 >makes me wanna start floating like a cartoon character
 >want to show grandma
 >call out "granny your baby has something to show you!"
 >silence
 ill show that dumb decrepit bitch, how dare she ignore my genius
 >waddle up out of my bed
 >tread through the cigarette stained mattress countless tissues on the floor,
 piss jugs and beer cans
 >make it to hallway
 >kiss Amy rose picture I have hanging in hallway
 >my good boy lips leave a orange stain on the frame
 >ive developed natural lipstick from Chesters good boy treats
 >make it to stairs and see granny floating from chandelier
 >big braided necklace on her neck
 >I wanna float too
 >try to jump but don't get far
 >pout
 >idea
 >start waddling as fast as I can jump manage to flip over railing and grab nans
 legs
 >"wee I'm flying with granny!"
 >granny must've been here a while she stinky
 >all of a sudden her necklace rips
 >her body breaks my fall
 >lots of koolaid spreading must've landed on the table
 see grannies head on other side of room
 >get up after what seems like decades
 >put my hand in like a puppet
 "hey nana can I have a blowy joey"
 >"sure thing my prince"
 >reward myself for my smelly discovery
 >grannies head, infinite blowey joeys
 >"I'm the man granny, I just wish you didn't have this note with a number to a so
 called hit man with my name on it"
 "im not gay I don't want this man to hit on me"
 >im hearing knocking at the door bros ill keep you posted
 File: 1562130932496 jpg (14 KB, 280x280)
 Page 4
 Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue) 00:25:1 1
 AL o
Anon wants to brag

Anon wants to brag

Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: just like you his father, I'm just frustrated at the wealthy men on here eeling sick. constantly saying negative shit on my comments and then I cussed her out and feel guilty about that. People may think I'm a real cunt right now but henestly I feel tern in directions I dpn't know whet... See More Sep 5, 2018 at 8:13 PM who can't even donate 20 dollars. But your fine sweetie, I'l use you for moral I TOLD my roommate to refill my bag of ice! NOT to take a damn photo! My ankle is sprained from dancing in heels at the bar/rave party, dammit does that look like a full bag of ice cubes!? I'm about to scream at him! many different support hunny 1y Maybe I should show time good Lke Share A 12, 2018 5:21 PM (rgland! I hate most of you with every bone in my body You make me sick You are nothing but bad memories from my past and I fucking hate you! The only reason why this Facebook page had not been deactivate d is because my sister in law is having a baby shower soon, if it wasn't for that, of eeine r disnusting Puckinga faces, Leave me I would sell my soul and be his slave for have a new set of teeth years just paid for, Plus it would help the dental clinic out if he could be willing to donate. your alane. You didnt make that paragraph sound to good. Because he I should just shut up and do porn. your man not you are not the MOTHER!! eO15K Like 1 11 Comments 2 Shares Feb 13, 2018 at 4:30 PM I'm stressed I'm getting off of here. Like Share My friend said he would buy my pills down with, but I told him I'd rather have sex toy from the mall tmorrow since I'm sleeping alone now every night lol alcohol to chase 549 Mar 10, 2017 at 9:25 PM 0O.IK Lunch is ready 12h Like I'm not going to church Sunday. I don't care 1 anymore. I'm too angry at the world to sit in a fucking church, Comment And I'm so mad I'm about. punch someone in the face I gotta Share Like 2 Comment go. 12h Like Would it Kill uou to conate U dollars? I've posted video after video of comedy, made you laugh, bared my body so you guys can rip one off and cum all over yourselves and all I ask for in return is an hours dentist procedure of your time, and 10 dollars to pay for it each, Or are you all just a bunch of pussies? Whenever I'm upset the Hrst thing I do is get on Facebook and put my husband on blast. Even tho I'm not mad at him. But, I've not talked Yes, sure I will give a speech at church Sunday in front of 100 or more people, Why the hell not? I have nothing better to do this Sunday. Besides, I have plenty of tranquilizer pills to get me through it and fake a smile. Wish me luck on stage. I have a beautiful red dress to wear, Have a blessed day. God is I our savior, Bla bla bla. to him in a week and he has since then all but ignored me. The last time I spoke to him he asked me to give him a ride, Well dammit, if he gave a damn about my car or his wife he would be coming over here checking on me know a regular basis. Car keys and cell phone stolen and you can't even come check on your fucking wife for ten minutes Like to see if I'm dead or someone killed me. If he loved me he would be protecting me, but he can't break away from whoever he isfucking in exchange for a roof over his head long enough to even make sure I'm okay! Thanks for showing me how much you really care wou only love me when you need moneut what? Got nothing to say? You usually do, so don't contact me for a piece of fucking ass! Like P. I guess happy suth birthday Nov 25, 2018 at 9:18 AM. S n Four more days, yours truly (me) will have my asking for tou The citf .ruld mcke G cencrete donations I'm getting a lot of people messaging me telling me they respect me and look up to me. I don't ststue of Me!! I met my Sirst busband AND my second huscan Oct 4, 2017 at 2:09 PM S RIGH HERE in pood Maycr cnd ask to have a statue of myseif put up right by the Mental Health center I'we partied in this toum, Wr ruled this which of you mother fucking men are going to the give a rats ass who you are or what people think, dentist with me to hold my hand and get all of my Unless you plan on opening your wallet and teeth pulled? And does anyone give a shit to donate money to the dental clinic? I have 124 friends if all of you donated 10 dollars to the dentist the dental implants would be paid for! I'm about to flip the fuck out. donating money to me You don't mean shit. If yo can't give $5.00 I don't have time to give a damn about you... police staton knou who I am due to both of my husbond s pepularity Seo4, 2012 at an s m Comment 8 Shar Share m Like $0 raised for Neighborhood Services Organization Be the first DONATE $5 nso donate! Hahahaha I cannot belive what I said yesterday on my photo:"Pussies and Assholes stretch; dicks do not, so I may be in an 'open marriage' with my husband but I now consider it closed on my end because I don't want to be stretched out by other men, I only want to remain faithful and save it for my husband" best quote ever Bounty hunters kicked in the door this morning to arrest my man. I'm just like what the he'll just happened? We were in my bed having sex for two hours straight. Then he went to the kitchen to get a drink of water when they knocked him upside the head and on the floor motherfukers kicked Like When I get it bet your ass I'm posting a picture of the dildo, Lmao, Who needs a husband when you have a vibratory and enough drugs to tranquilize a horse? . Probably my him in the ribs. So I got put of bed and stumbled to the front room to see what the noise and nל L!%e Like Share commotion was all about, My legs were like jello from him fucking me. They grabbed me by the hair and said "shut up stupid slut and then handcuffed him and put him in a van with no clothes on! I'm ksed, Wtf I wish I could take, A bubble bath and listen to country music but I have no bubbles!!! Damn, the tub is nasty too. Aug 12, 2018 at 9:38 PM People send me invites and shit to go to events and I feel like I'm obligated to go especially when it's a conference and especiallu when T'm askino. The amount of crazy on this womens page is ridiculous. I took some of the most ridiculous things I found . This is only like 1/10 of her posts and on every post is 4-6 paragraph comments from HER , speaking to no one but ranting about irrelevant ass shit. Tried making it legible as possible.
Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: just like you his father, I'm just
 frustrated at the wealthy men on here
 eeling sick.
 constantly saying negative shit on my comments
 and then I cussed her out and feel guilty about
 that. People may think I'm a real cunt right now
 but henestly I feel tern in
 directions I dpn't know whet... See More
 Sep 5, 2018 at 8:13 PM
 who can't even donate 20 dollars. But
 your fine sweetie, I'l use you for moral
 I TOLD my roommate to refill my bag of ice! NOT
 to take a damn photo! My ankle is sprained from
 dancing in heels at the bar/rave party, dammit
 does that look like a full bag of ice cubes!? I'm
 about to scream at him!
 many different
 support hunny
 1y
 Maybe I should show
 time
 good
 Lke
 Share
 A 12, 2018 5:21 PM
 (rgland!
 I hate most of you with every bone in my body
 You make me sick You are nothing but bad
 memories from my past and I fucking hate you!
 The only reason why this Facebook page had not
 been deactivate d is because my sister in law is
 having a baby shower soon, if it wasn't for that,
 of
 eeine r disnusting Puckinga faces, Leave me
 I would sell my soul and be his slave for
 have a new set of teeth
 years just
 paid for, Plus it would help the dental
 clinic out if he could be willing to
 donate.
 your
 alane.
 You didnt make that paragraph
 sound to good. Because he
 I should just shut up and do porn.
 your
 man not you are not the MOTHER!!
 eO15K
 Like
 1
 11 Comments 2 Shares
 Feb 13, 2018 at 4:30 PM
 I'm stressed I'm getting off of
 here.
 Like
 Share
 My friend said he would buy
 my pills down with, but I told him I'd rather have
 sex toy from the mall tmorrow since I'm
 sleeping alone now every night lol
 alcohol to chase
 549
 Mar 10, 2017 at 9:25 PM
 0O.IK
 Lunch is ready
 12h
 Like
 I'm not going to church Sunday. I don't care
 1
 anymore. I'm too angry at the world to sit in a
 fucking church,
 Comment
 And I'm so mad I'm about.
 punch someone in the face I gotta
 Share
 Like
 2 Comment
 go.
 12h Like
 Would it Kill uou to conate U dollars?
 I've posted video after video of
 comedy, made you laugh, bared my
 body so you guys can rip one off and
 cum all over yourselves and all I ask for
 in return is an hours dentist procedure
 of your time, and 10 dollars to pay for
 it each, Or are you all just a bunch of
 pussies?
 Whenever I'm upset the Hrst thing I do is get on
 Facebook and put my husband on blast.
 Even tho I'm not mad at him. But, I've not talked
 Yes, sure I will give a speech at church Sunday in
 front of 100 or more people, Why the hell not? I
 have nothing better to do this Sunday. Besides, I
 have plenty of tranquilizer pills to get me
 through it and fake a smile. Wish me luck on
 stage. I have a beautiful red dress to wear, Have
 a blessed day. God is I our savior, Bla bla bla.
 to him in a week and he has since then all but
 ignored me. The last time I spoke to him he asked
 me to give him a ride, Well dammit, if he gave a
 damn about my car or his wife he would be coming
 over here checking on me know a regular basis.
 Car keys and cell phone stolen and you can't even
 come check on your fucking wife for ten minutes
 Like
 to see if I'm dead or someone killed me. If he
 loved me he would be protecting me, but he can't
 break away from whoever he isfucking in
 exchange for a roof over his head long enough to
 even make sure I'm okay! Thanks for showing me
 how much you really care
 wou only love me when you need moneut
 what? Got nothing to say? You usually
 do, so don't contact me for a piece of
 fucking ass!
 Like
 P. I guess
 happy suth birthday
 Nov 25, 2018 at 9:18 AM. S
 n Four more days, yours truly (me) will have my
 asking for
 tou The citf .ruld mcke G cencrete
 donations
 I'm getting a lot of people messaging me telling
 me they respect me and look up to me. I don't
 ststue of Me!! I met my Sirst busband AND my
 second huscan
 Oct 4, 2017 at 2:09 PM S
 RIGH HERE in pood
 Maycr cnd ask to have a statue of myseif put up
 right by the Mental Health center I'we partied in
 this toum, Wr ruled this
 which of you mother fucking men are going to the give a rats ass who you are or what people think,
 dentist with me to hold my hand and get all of my Unless you plan on opening your wallet and
 teeth pulled? And does anyone give a shit to
 donate money to the dental clinic? I have 124
 friends if all of you donated 10 dollars to the
 dentist the dental implants would be paid for! I'm
 about to flip the fuck out.
 donating money to me You don't mean shit. If yo
 can't give $5.00 I don't have time to give a damn
 about you...
 police staton knou who I am due to both of my
 husbond s pepularity
 Seo4, 2012 at an s m
 Comment 8 Shar
 Share
 m Like
 $0 raised for Neighborhood
 Services Organization
 Be the first
 DONATE $5
 nso
 donate!
 Hahahaha
 I cannot belive what I said yesterday on my
 photo:"Pussies and Assholes stretch; dicks do
 not, so I may be in an 'open marriage' with my
 husband but I now consider it closed on my end
 because I don't want to be stretched out by other
 men, I only want to remain faithful and save it
 for my husband"
 best quote ever
 Bounty hunters kicked in the door this morning to
 arrest my man. I'm just like what the he'll just
 happened? We were in my bed having sex for two
 hours straight. Then he went to the kitchen to get
 a drink of water when they knocked him upside
 the head and on the floor motherfukers kicked
 Like
 When I get it bet your ass I'm posting a
 picture of the dildo, Lmao, Who needs a
 husband when you have a vibratory and
 enough drugs to tranquilize a horse?
 . Probably my
 him in the ribs. So I got put of bed and stumbled
 to the front room to see what the noise and
 nל L!%e
 Like
 Share
 commotion was all about, My legs were like jello
 from him fucking me. They grabbed me by the
 hair and said "shut up stupid slut and then
 handcuffed him and put him in a van with no
 clothes on! I'm ksed, Wtf
 I wish I could take, A bubble bath and
 listen to country music but I have no
 bubbles!!! Damn, the tub is nasty too.
 Aug 12, 2018 at 9:38 PM
 People send me invites and shit to go to events
 and I feel like I'm obligated to go especially when
 it's a conference and especiallu when T'm askino.
The amount of crazy on this womens page is ridiculous. I took some of the most ridiculous things I found . This is only like 1/10 of her posts and on every post is 4-6 paragraph comments from HER , speaking to no one but ranting about irrelevant ass shit. Tried making it legible as possible.

The amount of crazy on this womens page is ridiculous. I took some of the most ridiculous things I found . This is only like 1/10 of her pos...

Birthday, Comfortable, and Confidence: greddit-tales What has been your worst "nice guy" experience? So, possibly one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the "women want him, men want to *be* him" stuff in old movies? Well I'm a man and by god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway! I'm having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, and behind us are a couple on a date. It is.. not going well. Guy was being rather creepy and making inappropriate comments, the girl doesn't some pretty look at all comfortable. The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly, my guess is she wanted to get it over with. Guy proceeds to comment on it and says "well, least I know you can swallow right?" Loudly. Girl goes red and tells him that isn't appropriate, he literally waves his hand in a "shoo" type motion and says "oh calm down I was going to find out in a few hours anyway" I missed her exact reply as she moved to a hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what vas being said - fuck no, fuck off, fuck this. He responded with "sweetheart I picked you up, I know where you live". She lost the colour in her face and said nothing. No. No. Fuck no. I'm one of those "get involved" type of people and there is no way I'm sitting here watching this go down. I get up. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm 23, fighting fit and happy to put that motherfucker through a wall. I may have had a slight temper in my youth. But anyway. I was halfway out of my chair when a hand came down on my shoulder and I look up to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says "Easy.. I've got this one son". Absolute, total seeing as my current plan amounted to "stab him in the confidence in his voice... SO neck" and I'm already thinking maybe that's not the best idea, I sit down. He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it around and sits down with the couple. Then.. he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the table. Now the guy doesn't have any colour in his face Cop: "So, I'm quietly celebrating my daughters birthday with my family when distinctly hear you threaten this young lady, would you care to explain yourself?" Guy: ", ah, well, um, you see." Cop: "That's what I thought. Now see, we take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing, so right now I'm deciding if I want to have some of my buddies come pick you up." Guy: "oh no well that..." r Cop: "But that would disrupt everyone's dinner, so how about you hand me your ID, because I wouldn't want you running off on me, then you go see one of the staff here and settle your bill.. the full bill now, this young lady shouldn't go hungry on account of your poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first option, I'll leave it up to you." Guy: "No no! That's perfectly fine!" \*hands over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the direction of the counter* Cop: *while writing down the guys details 1* "Sorry about that miss, I hope I'm not intruding it just seemed like you could use help. Oh and don't worry, if you want to pursue this further I'll have some of the boys pick him up on his way home, we ca definitely take this further." some can Girl: "No, thank you so much, I wanted to run out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here". Cop:*shifts from hardarse cop to comforting father figure in about half a second\* "Well I'm here with my daughter, she's about your age, perhaps you'd like to finish your meal with us? We can run you home afterwards if you'd like, unless you'd prefer to call someone else?" Girl: "Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou so much!" *guy returns, so does the hardarse cop* Guy: "Uh so, I've paid the bill, if I could have my ID back..". Cop: "There you go. now I have your details right here so I *highly* recommend you don't go near or contact this young lady ever again." Guy: "Yes yes of course, I'm so sorry! The guy pretty much fled the restaurant, the girl went and sat with the cop and his family and by the time we left they were still sitting around talking and laughing about random crap. It was hands down the best way I have seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That cop is my hero. ever malicemanaged Dude. I hope that man has a great rest of his life Wholesome cop
Birthday, Comfortable, and Confidence: greddit-tales
 What has been your worst
 "nice guy" experience?
 So, possibly one of the coolest things I've
 ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the
 "women want him, men want to *be* him"
 stuff in old movies? Well I'm a man and by
 god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway!
 I'm having dinner with my girlfriend at
 the time, and behind us are a couple on a
 date. It is.. not going well. Guy was being
 rather creepy and making
 inappropriate comments, the girl doesn't
 some pretty
 look at all comfortable.
 The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly,
 my guess is she wanted to get it over with.
 Guy proceeds to comment on it and says
 "well, least I know you can swallow right?"
 Loudly.
 Girl goes red and tells him that isn't
 appropriate, he literally waves his hand in
 a "shoo" type motion and says "oh calm
 down I was going to find out in a few hours
 anyway"
 I missed her exact reply as she moved to a
 hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what
 vas being said - fuck no, fuck off, fuck this.
 He responded with "sweetheart I picked
 you up, I know where you live". She lost the
 colour in her face and said nothing.
 No. No. Fuck no. I'm one of those "get
 involved" type of people and there is no way
 I'm sitting here watching this go down. I get
 up. I don't know what I'm going to do, but
 I'm 23, fighting fit and happy to put that
 motherfucker through a wall. I may have had
 a slight temper in my youth. But anyway.
 I was halfway out of my chair when a hand
 came down on my shoulder and I look up
 to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says
 "Easy.. I've got this one son". Absolute, total
 seeing as my
 current plan amounted to "stab him in the
 confidence in his voice...
 SO
 neck" and I'm already thinking maybe that's
 not the best idea, I sit down.
 He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it
 around and sits down with the couple. Then..
 he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the
 table. Now the guy doesn't have any colour in
 his face
 Cop: "So, I'm quietly celebrating my
 daughters birthday with my family when
 distinctly hear you threaten this young lady,
 would you care to explain yourself?"
 Guy: ", ah, well, um, you see."
 Cop: "That's what I thought. Now see, we
 take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing,
 so right now I'm deciding if I want to have
 some of my buddies come pick you up."
 Guy: "oh no well that..."
 r
 Cop: "But that would disrupt everyone's
 dinner, so how about you hand me your ID,
 because I wouldn't want you running off on
 me, then you go see one of the staff here and
 settle your bill.. the full bill now, this young
 lady shouldn't go hungry on account of your
 poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first
 option, I'll leave it up to you."
 Guy: "No no! That's perfectly fine!" \*hands
 over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the
 direction of the counter*
 Cop: *while writing down the guys details
 1* "Sorry about that miss, I hope I'm not
 intruding it just seemed like you could use
 help. Oh and don't worry, if you want
 to pursue this further I'll have some of the
 boys pick him up on his way home, we ca
 definitely take this further."
 some
 can
 Girl: "No, thank you so much, I wanted to run
 out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here".
 Cop:*shifts from hardarse cop to
 comforting father figure in about half a
 second\* "Well I'm here with my daughter,
 she's about your age, perhaps you'd like to
 finish your meal with us? We can run you
 home afterwards if you'd like, unless you'd
 prefer to call someone else?"
 Girl: "Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou
 so much!"
 *guy returns, so does the hardarse cop*
 Guy: "Uh so, I've paid the bill, if I could have
 my ID back..".
 Cop: "There you go. now I have your details
 right here so I *highly* recommend you
 don't go near or contact this young lady ever
 again."
 Guy: "Yes yes of course, I'm so sorry!
 The guy pretty much fled the restaurant, the
 girl went and sat with the cop and his family
 and by the time we left they were still sitting
 around talking and laughing about random
 crap.
 It was hands down the best way I have
 seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That
 cop is my hero.
 ever
 malicemanaged
 Dude. I hope that man has a great rest of his
 life
Wholesome cop

Wholesome cop

Apparently, Chill, and Reggie: File: 1386662233025 ipg-(11 KB, 247x204, crow.jpg) GII Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:57:13 UTC-5 No.520558752H So /b/ Ive been having fun over the past few weeks and figured I'd share. Where I work there are thousands of crows that show up every single night. They hang around for like 4 hours at night, then take off, and show up the next night. Was reading up on crows because fuck it, interested >Apparently they're smart as shit. They recognize faces, and can form preferences in people depending on how they're treated. A wild idea appears. >I start trying to piss off this group of crows that hang out in the trees near work I throw rocks at them, and shake the tree and chase them whenever I can. Meanwhile, the grass crows across the street, just chill by the mcdicks Every time I go to med's, I get extra large fries, and feed the grass crows. They start to like me, while the tree crows hate my shit. Tree crows throw nuts and try to shit on me all the time i dodge bird shit like I dodge wrenches now) >Grass crows still super bros, and now try to follow me when I walk into mcd's >I keep this up for a few more weeks, and I'm noticing a bigger divide in the crows. 01 >Grass crows now follow me across the road to make sure I get back to work safe: Tree crows getting more aggressive and sit on my building and wait for me to walk out >Ive created a great war between two formerly friendly nations. >World War Crow commences. >I am fueling it with french fries. Replies: 520559326 Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:58:03 UTC-5 No.520558845 Both nations now jockeying for position near my work Grass crows try to defend me as the Tree crows fly over me and throw nuts and rocks at me After a few days of tense defense/offense, all goes calm expect the usual squawking and flapping walk out from the covered entry way and look up. All across the trees surrounding my building >I recognize >Ihear one squawk as one of the tree bros flies out and drops a rock on my shoulder. All hell breaks loose. > Crows flying all across the sky and I can hardly see through the clown. No wonder they call it a murder (huehue) as I walk out, but there's nothing. are crows More than there have ever been before. (Called him Reggie. Always gave him the warm one of the qrass bros in the tree closest to me. fries) Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:59:05 UTC-5 No.520558960 I sit and watch as literally 1000-2000 crows charge at each other. Bloodied bird carcasses falling left and right. Sit in awe of what I've created. Nearly an hour passes and the cloud thins. Only grassbros left. Reggie flies down to the ground and lands beside me Has big scar across left eye. Gives no fucks Istand, and all the grassbros look up to me Imarch across the street and into mcd's. leaving the door open for all the crows to follow Cashiers face. l order 12 XL french fries, and celebrate my grand victory with the grassbros World War Crow
Apparently, Chill, and Reggie: File: 1386662233025 ipg-(11 KB, 247x204, crow.jpg)
 GII
 Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:57:13 UTC-5 No.520558752H
 So /b/ Ive been having fun
 over the past few weeks and figured I'd share.
 Where I work there are thousands of crows that show up every single night.
 They hang around for like 4 hours at night, then take off, and show up the next night.
 Was reading up on crows because fuck it, interested
 >Apparently they're smart as shit.
 They recognize faces, and can form preferences in people depending on how they're treated.
 A wild idea appears.
 >I start trying to piss off this group of crows that hang out in the trees near work
 I throw rocks at them, and shake the tree and chase them whenever I can.
 Meanwhile, the grass crows across the street, just chill by the mcdicks
 Every time I go to med's, I get extra large fries, and feed the grass crows.
 They start to like me, while the tree crows hate my shit.
 Tree crows throw nuts and try to shit on me all the time i dodge bird shit like I dodge wrenches now)
 >Grass crows still super bros, and now try to follow me when I walk into mcd's
 >I keep this up for a few more weeks, and I'm noticing a bigger divide in the crows.
 01
 >Grass crows now follow
 me across the road to make sure I get back to work safe:
 Tree crows getting more aggressive and sit on my building and wait for me to walk out
 >Ive created a great war between two formerly friendly nations.
 >World War Crow commences.
 >I am fueling it with french fries.
 Replies: 520559326
 Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:58:03 UTC-5 No.520558845
 Both nations now jockeying for position near my work
 Grass crows try to defend me as the Tree crows fly over me and throw nuts and rocks at me
 After a few days of tense defense/offense, all goes calm
 expect the usual squawking and flapping
 walk out from the covered entry way and look up.
 All across the trees surrounding my building
 >I recognize
 >Ihear one squawk as one of the tree bros flies out and drops a rock on my shoulder.
 All hell breaks loose.
 > Crows flying all across the sky and I can hardly see through the clown.
 No wonder they call it a murder (huehue)
 as I walk out, but there's nothing.
 are crows More than there have ever been before.
 (Called him Reggie. Always gave him the warm
 one of the qrass bros in the tree closest to me.
 fries)
 Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:59:05 UTC-5 No.520558960
 I sit and watch as literally 1000-2000 crows charge at each other.
 Bloodied bird carcasses falling left and right.
 Sit in awe of what I've created.
 Nearly an hour passes and the cloud thins.
 Only grassbros left.
 Reggie flies down to the ground and lands beside me
 Has big scar across left eye. Gives no fucks
 Istand, and all the grassbros look up to me
 Imarch across the street and into mcd's. leaving the door open for all the crows to follow
 Cashiers face.
 l order 12 XL french fries, and celebrate my grand victory with the grassbros
World War Crow

World War Crow

Snake, Don, and Lizard: Iced dumped from cooler melted into Sobe Lizard or Don’t Tread on Me snake
Snake, Don, and Lizard: Iced dumped from cooler melted into Sobe Lizard or Don’t Tread on Me snake

Iced dumped from cooler melted into Sobe Lizard or Don’t Tread on Me snake

Apparently, Bad, and Crush: Today 8:32 PM Girl,I have changed. Scroll above and you will find the compliments too. I really didn't mean to bring negativity. I said I am sorry. U are really being rude to me. I really don't understand why that much hatred ! I always had good feelings for you You have gained weight. Look- ing fat. I am sorry, but that's what I felt seeing your recent post. You used to look better. Didn't ask for your opinion. Not here to look pretty. Also, being fat or thin doesn't make anybody better or worse. But thanks anyway Good feelings? I never needed your compliments nor your unsolicited opinions on how fat or thin or pretty I look. I am sorry, if I sounded rude. I really didn't mean to. I said you used to look more pretty earlier... Anyway sorry. Also, you indirectly told being fat not looking good. That's already bad enough. Boy, I don't need negativity in my life. Bye I am sorry if that hurt you Today 11:28 PM I am sorry if that hurt you please calm down and answer this question Would have reacted the same T really didn't mean to. if one of your close friends told you that you look pretty with lesser weight. I also told directly that you used to look much prettier earlier. I know I said something which I was not supposed to tell. I am sorry for that. But Your reaction was because of your hatred for me. I don't know what wrong I have done to you. I just told u my feelings then. Please let it go and forgive. I cannot sleep well knowing that I hurt someone who didn't deserve it. I am sorry Please. I don't want to hear anything further. Thanks. Bye. I am really sorry I don't want to end it like this. Please don't be harsh on me I'm SORRY for a thousand times. Message So,this guy is my sister's junior and apparently he has a "crush" on her. He has not met her face to face for 8 years and he DMed her this after she posted a picture on Instagram
Apparently, Bad, and Crush: Today 8:32 PM
 Girl,I have changed. Scroll
 above and you will find the
 compliments too. I really didn't
 mean to bring negativity. I
 said I am sorry. U are really
 being rude to me. I really don't
 understand why that much
 hatred ! I always had good
 feelings for you
 You have gained weight. Look-
 ing fat. I am sorry, but that's
 what I felt seeing your recent
 post. You used to look better.
 Didn't ask for your opinion.
 Not here to look pretty. Also,
 being fat or thin doesn't make
 anybody better or worse. But
 thanks anyway
 Good feelings? I never needed
 your compliments nor your
 unsolicited opinions on how fat
 or thin or pretty I look.
 I am sorry, if I sounded rude. I
 really didn't mean to.
 I said you used to look more
 pretty earlier... Anyway sorry.
 Also, you indirectly told being
 fat not looking good. That's
 already bad enough.
 Boy, I don't need negativity in
 my life. Bye
 I am sorry if that hurt you
 Today 11:28 PM
 I am sorry if that hurt you
 please calm down
 and answer this question
 Would have reacted the same
 T really didn't mean to.
 if one of your close friends told
 you that you look pretty with
 lesser weight.
 I also told directly that you
 used to look much prettier
 earlier.
 I know I said something which
 I was not supposed to tell. I am
 sorry for that.
 But Your reaction was because
 of your hatred for me. I don't
 know what wrong I have done
 to you. I just told u my feelings
 then. Please let it go and
 forgive. I cannot sleep well
 knowing that I hurt someone
 who didn't deserve it. I am sorry
 Please. I don't want to hear
 anything further. Thanks. Bye.
 I am really sorry I
 don't want to end it like this.
 Please don't be harsh on me
 I'm
 SORRY
 for a thousand times.
 Message
So,this guy is my sister's junior and apparently he has a "crush" on her. He has not met her face to face for 8 years and he DMed her this after she posted a picture on Instagram

So,this guy is my sister's junior and apparently he has a "crush" on her. He has not met her face to face for 8 years and he DMed her this a...