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        Ass Fuck
        

            
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        8 Minutes
        

            
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    Advice, Af, and Beautiful: About an hour ago, I was in Walmart looking
 for my conditioner because today is wash day
 for my hair. As I'm looking for my product, this
 older white lady approaches me and she says,
 "Excuse me, miss. Please don't be offended by
 this." And usually when white people tell me not
 to be offended, 9 times out of 10, whatever they
 are about to say is going to be offensive af
 Anyway, she follows it up with, "My husband
 and I just recently won our custody battle with
 our foster daughter and she means the world
 to us. She's a beautiful African American girl
 and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I'm afraid
 because I don't know what to do with her hair
 It's a lot different from mines and our other
 children and we are at a total loss. l've tried
 looking up the YouTube videos and my husband
 went to the braiding shops so they can teach
 him how to properly braid her hair, but he's still
 pretty new and it will be a while before he gets
 used to it. Do you have any tips you can give
 me? If you don't have the time, it's okay, really! I
 just needed a little advice because I want her to
 look beautiful."
 Y'all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So
 for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking
 to her and what products to use and how to
 properly detangle and comb her hair with the
 proper tools and what not to do with natural
 hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to fol-
 low natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved
 them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube
 account for her so she could save it for later.)
 but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that
 she listened to every single thing I had to say
 and she took little notes on her little notepad.
 And what really filled my heart was the fact
 that her husband actually taking classes from
 African braiding shops. And she showed me a
 picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and
 loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful
 black women showing him how to braid black
 hair and even the lady he's braiding on is
 guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old
 white people and their black daughter who l
 know have new loving parents because they are
 willing to step out of their comfort zone just to
 make her feel and look beautiful.
This is a little long but TOTALLY worth the read!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, Af, and Beautiful: About an hour ago, I was in Walmart looking
 for my conditioner because today is wash day
 for my hair. As I'm looking for my product, this
 older white lady approaches me and she says,
 "Excuse me, miss. Please don't be offended by
 this." And usually when white people tell me not
 to be offended, 9 times out of 10, whatever they
 are about to say is going to be offensive af
 Anyway, she follows it up with, "My husband
 and I just recently won our custody battle with
 our foster daughter and she means the world
 to us. She's a beautiful African American girl
 and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I'm afraid
 because I don't know what to do with her hair
 It's a lot different from mines and our other
 children and we are at a total loss. l've tried
 looking up the YouTube videos and my husband
 went to the braiding shops so they can teach
 him how to properly braid her hair, but he's still
 pretty new and it will be a while before he gets
 used to it. Do you have any tips you can give
 me? If you don't have the time, it's okay, really! I
 just needed a little advice because I want her to
 look beautiful."
 Y'all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So
 for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking
 to her and what products to use and how to
 properly detangle and comb her hair with the
 proper tools and what not to do with natural
 hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to fol-
 low natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved
 them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube
 account for her so she could save it for later.)
 but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that
 she listened to every single thing I had to say
 and she took little notes on her little notepad.
 And what really filled my heart was the fact
 that her husband actually taking classes from
 African braiding shops. And she showed me a
 picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and
 loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful
 black women showing him how to braid black
 hair and even the lady he's braiding on is
 guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old
 white people and their black daughter who l
 know have new loving parents because they are
 willing to step out of their comfort zone just to
 make her feel and look beautiful.
This is a little long but TOTALLY worth the read!
                
            

            
            
This is a little long but TOTALLY worth the read!

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Assassination, Definitely, and England: 50 THINGS YOU DON'T
 NEED TO KNOW
 "1- RUBBER BANDS LAST LONGER WHEN REFRIGERATED
 2-PEANUTS ARE ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS OF DYNAMITE
 3- THERE ARE 293 WAYS TO MAKE CHANGE FOR A DOLLAR
 * 4-THE AVERAGE PERSON'S LEFT HAND DOES 56% OF THE TYPING
 5- A SHARK IS THE ONLY FISH THAT CAN BLINK WITH BOTH EYES.
 6- THERE ARE MORE CHICKENS THAN PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
 7- THE LONGEST ONE-SYLLABLE WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS "SCREECHED.
 8- ON A CANADIAN TWO-DOLLAR BILL, THE FLAG FLYING OVER THE PARLIAMENT
 BUILDING IS AN AMERICAN FLAG.
 9- ALL OF THE CLOCKS IN THE MOVIE "PULP FICTION" ARE STUCK ON 4:20
 10 NO WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE RHYMES WITH MONTH, ORANGE, SILVER OR
 PURPLE
 11-"DREAMT IS THE ONLY ENGLISH WORD THAT ENDS IN THE LETTERS "MT
 12-ALMONDS ARE A MEMBER OF THE PEACH FAMILY
 13- THERE ARE ONLY 4 WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WHICH END IN DOUS
 TREMENDOUS, HORRENDOUS, STUPENDOUS, AND HAZARDOUS
 14-A CAT HAS 32 MUSCLES IN EACH EAR.
 " 15- AN OSTRICH'S EYE IS BIGGER THAN ITS BRAIN
 16- TIGERS HAVE STRIPED SKIN, NOT JUST STRIPED FUR.
 " 17- IN MOST ADVERTISEMENTS, THE TIME DISPLAYED ON A WATCH IS 10:10
 18- AL CAPONE'S BUSINESS CARD SAID HE WAS A USED FURNITURE DEALER
 " 19- THE CHARACTERS BERT & ERNIE ON SESAME STREET WERE NAMED AFTER BERT
 THE COP AND ERNIE THE TAXI DRIVER IN FRANK CAPRA'S "ITS A WONDERFULLIFE
 20- A DRAGONFLY HAS A LIFE SPAN OF 1-6 MONTHS
 21- A GOLDFISH HAS A MEMORY SPAN OF 3 SECONDS
 22- ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO SNEEZE WITH YOUR EYES OPEN.
 23- THE GIANT SQUID HAS THE LARGEST EYES IN THE WORLD
 24- IN ENGLAND, THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE IS NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK.
 25- THE MICROWAVE WAS INVENTED AFTER A RESEARCHER WALKED BY A RADAR
 TUBE AND A CHOCOLATE BAR MELTED IN HIS POCKE
 26- THE AVERAGE PERSON FALLS ASLEEP IN SEVEN MINUTES.
 27- THERE ARE 336 DIMPLES ON A REGULATION GOLF BALL
 28-THE AVERAGE HUMAN EATS 8 SPIDERS IN THEIR LIFETIME AT NIGHT
 29- A COCKROACH CAN LIVE NINE DAYS WITHOUT ITS HEAD BEFORE IT STARVES TO
 DEATH
 30- A POLAR BEAR'S SKIN IS BLACK. ITS FUR IS NOT WHITE, BUT ACTUALLY CLEAR.
 31- ELVIS HAD A TWIN BROTHER NAMED AARON, WHO DIED AT BIRTH, WHICH IS WHY
 ELVIS MIDDLE NAME WAS SPELLED ARON: IN HONOR OF HIS BROTHER. IT IS ALSO MIS
 SPELLED ON HIS TOMB STONE
 32- DONALD DUCK COMICS WERE BANNED IN FINLAND BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WEAR
 PANTS
 33- MORE PEOPLE ARE KILLED BY DONKEYS ANNUALLY THAN ARE KILLED IN PLANE
 CRASHES.
 34- STEWARDESSES IS THE LONGEST WORD TYPED WITH ONLY THE LEFT HAND. 35-
 SHAKESPEARE INVENTED THE WORDS "ASSASSINATION" AND "BUMP."
 36- MARILYN MONROE HAD 6 TOES ON ONE FOOT. (NOT TRUE, WE'RE TOLDI)
 37- IF YOU KEEP A GOLDFISH IN THE DARK ROOM, IT WILL EVENTUALLY TURN WHITE.
 38-WOMEN BLINK NEARLY TWICE AS MUCH AS MEN
 39- RIGHT-HANDED PEOPLE LIVE, ON AVERAGE, NINE YEARS LONGER THAN LEFT
 HANDED PEOPLE DO
 *40- THE SENTENCE "THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG USES
 EVERY LETTER IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
 *41- THE NAMES OF THE CONTINENTS ALL END WITH THE SAME LETTER WITH WHICH
 THEY START
 42- TYPEWRITER IS THE LONGEST WORD THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS ON
 ONLY ONE ROW OF THE KEYBOARD
 43- THE WORD RACECAR AND KAYAK ARE THE SAME WHETHER THEY ARE READ LEFT
 TO RIGHT OR RIGHT TO LEFT
 44- A SNAIL CAN SLEEP FOR 3 YEARS
 45- AMERICAN AIRLINES SAVED $40,000 IN 1987 BY ELIMINATING ONE OLIVE FROM
 EACH SALAD SERVED IN FIRST-CLASS
 46- THE ELECTRIC CHAIR WAS INVENTED BY A DENTIST
 47- VATICAN CITY IS THE SMALLEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD WITH A POPULATION OF
 1,000 AND A SIZE OF 108.7 ACRES
 48-"I AM" IS THE SHORTEST COMPLETE SENTENCE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
 * 49- NO PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WAS AN ONLY CHILD
 AND LAST AND DEFINITELY MOST IMPORTANT
 50- THE AVERAGE CHOCOLATE BAR HAS 8 INSECTS LEGS IN IT
 l KNOW SO
 MUCH NOW
 lolmeme.th
Some of these are not true, but wich ones?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Assassination, Definitely, and England: 50 THINGS YOU DON'T
 NEED TO KNOW
 "1- RUBBER BANDS LAST LONGER WHEN REFRIGERATED
 2-PEANUTS ARE ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS OF DYNAMITE
 3- THERE ARE 293 WAYS TO MAKE CHANGE FOR A DOLLAR
 * 4-THE AVERAGE PERSON'S LEFT HAND DOES 56% OF THE TYPING
 5- A SHARK IS THE ONLY FISH THAT CAN BLINK WITH BOTH EYES.
 6- THERE ARE MORE CHICKENS THAN PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
 7- THE LONGEST ONE-SYLLABLE WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS "SCREECHED.
 8- ON A CANADIAN TWO-DOLLAR BILL, THE FLAG FLYING OVER THE PARLIAMENT
 BUILDING IS AN AMERICAN FLAG.
 9- ALL OF THE CLOCKS IN THE MOVIE "PULP FICTION" ARE STUCK ON 4:20
 10 NO WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE RHYMES WITH MONTH, ORANGE, SILVER OR
 PURPLE
 11-"DREAMT IS THE ONLY ENGLISH WORD THAT ENDS IN THE LETTERS "MT
 12-ALMONDS ARE A MEMBER OF THE PEACH FAMILY
 13- THERE ARE ONLY 4 WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WHICH END IN DOUS
 TREMENDOUS, HORRENDOUS, STUPENDOUS, AND HAZARDOUS
 14-A CAT HAS 32 MUSCLES IN EACH EAR.
 " 15- AN OSTRICH'S EYE IS BIGGER THAN ITS BRAIN
 16- TIGERS HAVE STRIPED SKIN, NOT JUST STRIPED FUR.
 " 17- IN MOST ADVERTISEMENTS, THE TIME DISPLAYED ON A WATCH IS 10:10
 18- AL CAPONE'S BUSINESS CARD SAID HE WAS A USED FURNITURE DEALER
 " 19- THE CHARACTERS BERT & ERNIE ON SESAME STREET WERE NAMED AFTER BERT
 THE COP AND ERNIE THE TAXI DRIVER IN FRANK CAPRA'S "ITS A WONDERFULLIFE
 20- A DRAGONFLY HAS A LIFE SPAN OF 1-6 MONTHS
 21- A GOLDFISH HAS A MEMORY SPAN OF 3 SECONDS
 22- ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO SNEEZE WITH YOUR EYES OPEN.
 23- THE GIANT SQUID HAS THE LARGEST EYES IN THE WORLD
 24- IN ENGLAND, THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE IS NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK.
 25- THE MICROWAVE WAS INVENTED AFTER A RESEARCHER WALKED BY A RADAR
 TUBE AND A CHOCOLATE BAR MELTED IN HIS POCKE
 26- THE AVERAGE PERSON FALLS ASLEEP IN SEVEN MINUTES.
 27- THERE ARE 336 DIMPLES ON A REGULATION GOLF BALL
 28-THE AVERAGE HUMAN EATS 8 SPIDERS IN THEIR LIFETIME AT NIGHT
 29- A COCKROACH CAN LIVE NINE DAYS WITHOUT ITS HEAD BEFORE IT STARVES TO
 DEATH
 30- A POLAR BEAR'S SKIN IS BLACK. ITS FUR IS NOT WHITE, BUT ACTUALLY CLEAR.
 31- ELVIS HAD A TWIN BROTHER NAMED AARON, WHO DIED AT BIRTH, WHICH IS WHY
 ELVIS MIDDLE NAME WAS SPELLED ARON: IN HONOR OF HIS BROTHER. IT IS ALSO MIS
 SPELLED ON HIS TOMB STONE
 32- DONALD DUCK COMICS WERE BANNED IN FINLAND BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WEAR
 PANTS
 33- MORE PEOPLE ARE KILLED BY DONKEYS ANNUALLY THAN ARE KILLED IN PLANE
 CRASHES.
 34- STEWARDESSES IS THE LONGEST WORD TYPED WITH ONLY THE LEFT HAND. 35-
 SHAKESPEARE INVENTED THE WORDS "ASSASSINATION" AND "BUMP."
 36- MARILYN MONROE HAD 6 TOES ON ONE FOOT. (NOT TRUE, WE'RE TOLDI)
 37- IF YOU KEEP A GOLDFISH IN THE DARK ROOM, IT WILL EVENTUALLY TURN WHITE.
 38-WOMEN BLINK NEARLY TWICE AS MUCH AS MEN
 39- RIGHT-HANDED PEOPLE LIVE, ON AVERAGE, NINE YEARS LONGER THAN LEFT
 HANDED PEOPLE DO
 *40- THE SENTENCE "THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG USES
 EVERY LETTER IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
 *41- THE NAMES OF THE CONTINENTS ALL END WITH THE SAME LETTER WITH WHICH
 THEY START
 42- TYPEWRITER IS THE LONGEST WORD THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS ON
 ONLY ONE ROW OF THE KEYBOARD
 43- THE WORD RACECAR AND KAYAK ARE THE SAME WHETHER THEY ARE READ LEFT
 TO RIGHT OR RIGHT TO LEFT
 44- A SNAIL CAN SLEEP FOR 3 YEARS
 45- AMERICAN AIRLINES SAVED $40,000 IN 1987 BY ELIMINATING ONE OLIVE FROM
 EACH SALAD SERVED IN FIRST-CLASS
 46- THE ELECTRIC CHAIR WAS INVENTED BY A DENTIST
 47- VATICAN CITY IS THE SMALLEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD WITH A POPULATION OF
 1,000 AND A SIZE OF 108.7 ACRES
 48-"I AM" IS THE SHORTEST COMPLETE SENTENCE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
 * 49- NO PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WAS AN ONLY CHILD
 AND LAST AND DEFINITELY MOST IMPORTANT
 50- THE AVERAGE CHOCOLATE BAR HAS 8 INSECTS LEGS IN IT
 l KNOW SO
 MUCH NOW
 lolmeme.th
Some of these are not true, but wich ones?
                
            

            
            
Some of these are not true, but wich ones?

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    God, Head, and Oh My God: Instructions:
 YOU MATCHED WITH ON 11/05/2019
 ose any topic and I'll give you a
 pick up line related to it
 1) You add potatoes to medium
 pot & fill with water until all
 potatoes are covered and static
 Yesterday 15:11
 2) Only season with salt as extra
 nando's creamy mash x
 3) Use the hob to bring to the boil
 & reduce to a simmer until
 potatoes are tender. After roughly
 15 minutes remove heat from pan
 Yesterday 18:17
 Ingredients:
 500g Gold Potatoes (peeled and
 chopped into large chunks)
 1/2 stick unsalted butter,+2
 tablespoons, divided
 1/2 head of garlic (cloves
 smashed)
 1/3 cup warm heavy cream
 14 cup sour cream
 14 tsp. salt
 4) After, melt butter on a low heat
 or semi
 5) Remove as milk solids rise to
 the top. Be careful as these may
 6) Easily add garlic & cook on low
 for 15 minutes then remove the
 garlic area
 Instructions:
 7) Visibly check potatoes and
 drain thoroughly so they are not
 too thiclk
 1) You add potatoes to medium
 pot & fill with water until all
 potatoes are covered and static
 8) Essentially, while potatoes are
 hot, pass through a potato ricer
 and add back to pot above
 2) Only season with salt as extra
 for you
 8) Essentially, while potatoes are
 hot, pass through a potato ricer
 and add back to pot above
 12) Upon transferring to a serving
 dish, melt remaining butter too
 9) Rinse in melted butter, salt,
 heavy cream & sour cream
 carefully
 13) Time to pour over potatoes
 then garnish with paprika, just like
 on the menu
 10) Yielding a hand held mixer
 beat the potatoes on high until
 potatoes are smooth and fluffy
 also
 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great
 treat
 Read the first letter of each of the
 14 instructions from the Nando's
 creamy mash recipe
 11) Carefully season with salt and
 pepper, with the perfect amount
 Yesterday 23:45
 12) Upon transferring to a serving
 dish, melt remaining butter too
 oh my god
 that's amazing
 13) Time to pour over potatoes
 then garnish with paprika, just like
 on the menu
 Today 05:49
 Now read the last letter of each of
 the 14 instructions
 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great
 treat
 Read the first letter of each of the
 14 instructions from the Nando's
 creamy mash recipe
 Today 08:59
 after that, yeah you can
The effort I put into this seemed to pay off
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                God, Head, and Oh My God: Instructions:
 YOU MATCHED WITH ON 11/05/2019
 ose any topic and I'll give you a
 pick up line related to it
 1) You add potatoes to medium
 pot & fill with water until all
 potatoes are covered and static
 Yesterday 15:11
 2) Only season with salt as extra
 nando's creamy mash x
 3) Use the hob to bring to the boil
 & reduce to a simmer until
 potatoes are tender. After roughly
 15 minutes remove heat from pan
 Yesterday 18:17
 Ingredients:
 500g Gold Potatoes (peeled and
 chopped into large chunks)
 1/2 stick unsalted butter,+2
 tablespoons, divided
 1/2 head of garlic (cloves
 smashed)
 1/3 cup warm heavy cream
 14 cup sour cream
 14 tsp. salt
 4) After, melt butter on a low heat
 or semi
 5) Remove as milk solids rise to
 the top. Be careful as these may
 6) Easily add garlic & cook on low
 for 15 minutes then remove the
 garlic area
 Instructions:
 7) Visibly check potatoes and
 drain thoroughly so they are not
 too thiclk
 1) You add potatoes to medium
 pot & fill with water until all
 potatoes are covered and static
 8) Essentially, while potatoes are
 hot, pass through a potato ricer
 and add back to pot above
 2) Only season with salt as extra
 for you
 8) Essentially, while potatoes are
 hot, pass through a potato ricer
 and add back to pot above
 12) Upon transferring to a serving
 dish, melt remaining butter too
 9) Rinse in melted butter, salt,
 heavy cream & sour cream
 carefully
 13) Time to pour over potatoes
 then garnish with paprika, just like
 on the menu
 10) Yielding a hand held mixer
 beat the potatoes on high until
 potatoes are smooth and fluffy
 also
 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great
 treat
 Read the first letter of each of the
 14 instructions from the Nando's
 creamy mash recipe
 11) Carefully season with salt and
 pepper, with the perfect amount
 Yesterday 23:45
 12) Upon transferring to a serving
 dish, melt remaining butter too
 oh my god
 that's amazing
 13) Time to pour over potatoes
 then garnish with paprika, just like
 on the menu
 Today 05:49
 Now read the last letter of each of
 the 14 instructions
 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great
 treat
 Read the first letter of each of the
 14 instructions from the Nando's
 creamy mash recipe
 Today 08:59
 after that, yeah you can
The effort I put into this seemed to pay off
                
            

            
            
The effort I put into this seemed to pay off