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Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS STUCK IN MY GILLS! I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS! WHITETIP SHARK CLEANER WRASSE I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS I NEED NECTAR TO EAT! TICKSEED FLOWERS BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL, BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER! COMMON RAVEN COYOTE I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS! I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED! COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA DOTTED HUMMING FROG M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM /w/Av[ paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?) Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.” The himan one is not as good as the rest If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom. While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper: The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or human sounds of similar amplitude. That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!! What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real. Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read: Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer for this. OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link] @metalpaca
Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS
 STUCK IN MY GILLS!
 I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS!
 WHITETIP SHARK
 CLEANER WRASSE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY
 MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS
 I NEED NECTAR TO EAT!
 TICKSEED FLOWERS
 BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY
 l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL,
 BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER
 I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT
 I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER!
 COMMON RAVEN
 COYOTE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP
 ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS!
 I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD
 AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED!
 COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA
 DOTTED HUMMING FROG
 M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM
 /w/Av[
paramud:

personal-scientist:
draconym:

themaishi:

draconym:

Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?)
Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.”


The himan one is not as good as the rest 

If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom.
While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper:
The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided 
by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus
 finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or 
human sounds of similar amplitude.
That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!!
What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real.
Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read:

Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any 
mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune
 that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens
 to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen 
can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then 
de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer 
for this.



OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. 
There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link]


@metalpaca

paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why ...

Apparently, Confused, and Friends: solarmorrigan So. 10th grade English class, We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing A couple of people try to ask her and she says we'll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she'll be back in a couple of minutes Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So. y'know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat, one of the boys teasingly steals a girl's bailoon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it's quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back stops in the doorway, and just stares at us After a long moment she says, confused, "You didn't pop the balloons To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, "We re allowed to pop them? and immediately turms around and stabs his friend's balloon with the pencil There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. 1 can't believe you didn't pop your balloons Apparently we were starting Lord of the Fies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever vansnailismylife Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the ist of tasks. Task 1-the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two tidy up the room, So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice She tied to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didnt get the point across hookedonafeeeling That's because lord of the flies isnt representative of humanity its representative of rich white male shitheads
Apparently, Confused, and Friends: solarmorrigan
 So. 10th grade English class, We all come in one morning to find a balloon and
 a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no
 explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort
 of thing A couple of people try to ask her and she says we'll get to it. She takes
 role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she'll be
 back in a couple of minutes
 Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English
 and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So. y'know. Brief respite. We all sit and
 chat, one of the boys teasingly steals a girl's bailoon, but gives it back to her
 easily enough; it's quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back
 stops in the doorway, and just stares at us
 After a long moment she says, confused, "You didn't pop the balloons
 To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, "We re allowed to pop
 them? and immediately turms around and stabs his friend's balloon with the
 pencil
 There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop
 seatmates balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking
 her head. 1 can't believe you didn't pop your balloons
 Apparently we were starting Lord of the Fies that day and she wanted to
 demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no
 authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment
 ever
 vansnailismylife
 Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where
 we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took
 role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom
 On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At
 first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we
 just started tackling the ist of tasks. Task 1-the test. Everybody took it silently,
 no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two tidy up the
 room, So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of
 the room. Task Three Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us.
 So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the
 teacher After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING She was so upset
 we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been
 texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they
 were too nice She tied to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild
 because it meant her class didnt get the point across
 hookedonafeeeling
 That's because lord of the flies isnt representative of humanity its
 representative of rich white male shitheads

Apparently, Beard, and Community: Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g Okay, let me tell you about my friend Jose. Jose is AMAB, 6'5" and built like a linebacker, with lots of visible tattoos. They're trying to grow a beard but the genes for it aren't quite there so for now it's Quentin Collins-style mutton chops. /1 big lumberjack 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 1.8K Likes 657 Retweets > Topher? Is thata thing? @topher_g 5h Replying to@topher_g Jose is a master of wearing just enough eyeliner to make you question whether they're wearing eyeliner or just have really pretty eyes. But in general if you saw them on the street you'd likely think "that is a big scary looking dude." /2 2 t 16 882 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h Jose is non-binary (And pansexual but that's not important to the story) and uses singular "they." /3 2 ti 19 897 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h Yesterday Jose was excited to go to a local meetup for Latinx "women and nonbinary people" because they were hoping to make some friends/community connections. /4 2 ti 35 925 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h I spent an hour last night at Jose's apartment with them literally crying on my shoulder because they were told they weren't welcome at the meeting. /5 4 ti 39 1K Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h Someone there told them when they said "women and nonbinary people" what they actually meant was "women, and women who identify as nonbinary." That's apparently an actual quote. /6 O 24 t1138 1.4K Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g Someone there told them when they said "women and nonbinary people" what they actually meant was "women, and women who identify as nonbinary." That's apparently an actual quote. /6 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 138 Retweets 1.4K Likes Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g I have always had issues with the phrase "women and nonbinary" but today I am LIVID that my friend went looking for community and allies and basically got rejected for not being some waify androgyne. /7 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 2.3K Likes 178 Retweets droideka-exe: NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite link to thread
Apparently, Beard, and Community: Topher? Is that a thing?
 @topher_g
 Okay, let me tell you about my friend Jose. Jose is
 AMAB, 6'5" and built like a linebacker, with lots of
 visible tattoos. They're trying to grow a
 beard but the genes for it aren't quite there so for now
 it's Quentin Collins-style mutton chops. /1
 big lumberjack
 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 1.8K Likes
 657 Retweets
 >

 Topher? Is thata thing? @topher_g 5h
 Replying to@topher_g
 Jose is a master of wearing just enough eyeliner to make you question
 whether they're wearing eyeliner or just have really pretty eyes. But in
 general if you saw them on the street you'd likely think "that is a big scary
 looking dude." /2
 2
 t 16
 882
 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h
 Jose is non-binary (And pansexual but that's not important to the story) and
 uses singular "they." /3
 2
 ti 19
 897
 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h
 Yesterday Jose was excited to go to a local meetup for Latinx "women and
 nonbinary people" because they were hoping to make some
 friends/community connections. /4
 2
 ti 35
 925
 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h
 I spent an hour last night at Jose's apartment with them literally crying on
 my shoulder because they were told they weren't welcome at the meeting.
 /5
 4
 ti 39
 1K
 Topher? Is that a thing? @topher_g 5h
 Someone there told them when they said "women and nonbinary people"
 what they actually meant was "women, and women who identify as
 nonbinary." That's apparently
 an actual quote. /6
 O 24
 t1138
 1.4K

 Topher? Is that a thing?
 @topher_g
 Someone there told them when they said "women and
 nonbinary people" what they actually meant was
 "women, and women who identify as nonbinary." That's
 apparently an actual quote. /6
 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 138 Retweets
 1.4K Likes

 Topher? Is that a thing?
 @topher_g
 I have always had issues with the phrase "women and
 nonbinary" but today I am LIVID that my friend went
 looking for community and allies and basically got
 rejected for not being some waify androgyne. /7
 12:42 PM Aug 27, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 2.3K Likes
 178 Retweets
droideka-exe:
NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite
link to thread

droideka-exe: NB 👏 Does 👏 Not 👏 Mean 👏 Woman 👏 Lite link to thread

Blessed, Huh, and Meme: @oscarewilde i received this comically large pencil as a gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was 'what the christ am i meant to do with this?' @oscarewilde the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement @oscarewilde utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I've only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i've had The Pencil on my person @oscarewilde i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow? @oscarewilde Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a pencil. That's fine!' i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears andican barely hear them. Imaintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow @oscarewilde Ireach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it's This or Nothing @oscarewilde still maintaining that eye contact i smile, only the tiniest fraction, the unspoken words forming between us. 'What are you gonna do now, huh? You feeling lucky, kiddo? Buddy? Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will you take The Pencil? @oscarewilde they Always take the pencil ifynny.co Tap to see the meme
Blessed, Huh, and Meme: @oscarewilde
 i received this comically large pencil as
 a gift several years ago and my first
 thought, understandably,
 was 'what
 the christ am i meant to do with this?'
 @oscarewilde
 the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite
 Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day
 With This. And so a while ago i took it
 in with me to a lecture, hoping against
 hope that whichever poor Fool was
 unfortunate enough to sit next to me
 might have forgotten or misplaced
 their writing implement
 @oscarewilde
 utilising The Pencil is also dependent
 on the person not using a laptop. So
 the chances of success are
 extraordinarily slim, and I've only
 managed to find suitable candidates
 three times in all of the dozens of
 occasions i've had The Pencil on my
 person
 @oscarewilde
 i size up my target, watching them
 feign patting their pockets in vain for
 the ballpoint they so obviously left at
 home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed
 question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could
 Borrow?
 @oscarewilde
 Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a
 pencil. That's fine!' i hear them say,
 distantly now, as the blood is rushing
 to my ears andican barely hear them.
 Imaintain a straight face. This is key to
 the delivery and the final blow
 @oscarewilde
 Ireach into my bag for The Pencil. The
 look of utter dumbfounded misery as i
 hand it to the victim is unparalleled in
 its sweetness. In an instant their eyes
 flicker through the 5 stages of grief,
 landing on acceptance, as they realise
 it's This or Nothing
 @oscarewilde
 still maintaining that eye contact i
 smile, only the tiniest fraction, the
 unspoken words forming between us.
 'What are you gonna do now, huh?
 You feeling lucky, kiddo? Buddy?
 Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in
 this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will
 you take The Pencil?
 @oscarewilde
 they Always take the pencil
 ifynny.co
Tap to see the meme

Tap to see the meme