Chris Simpsons
Chris Simpsons

Chris Simpsons

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Luck: jayofolympus: valsore: silver-millennial: mandalorianreynolds: icantwritegood: 3hunnitcreditscore: chantosakura: cliomancer: bunjywunjy: rjzimmerman: From the Facebook pages of Project Coyote/Classic Cars USA: Last week on my way to work in the early morning, a coyote darted in front of my car and I hit it. I heard a crunch and believed I ran over and killed it. Upon stopping at a traffic light by my work, a construction woman notified me that there was in fact a coyote still embedded in my car. When I got out to look, this poor little guy was looking up and blinking at me. I notified Alberta fish and wildlife enforcement right away who came to rescue him. Miraculously, he was freed and had minimal injuries despite having hitched a ride from Airdrie to Calgary at highway speeds! Their biologist checked him over and gave him the good to go. They released him in Kananaskis. Clearly mother nature has other plans for this special little guy!-Georgie Knox FOOD CHAIN, BABYYYyYyy Plot-essential NPC. I’m dying at the fact that he looks only like…mildly perturbed and inconvenienced by this at most. “Well shit, this is not how I expected to spend my day” the coyote on the highway like I feel slightly bad for laughing so much… But, uh, luck of a Trickster God indeed; The roadrunner got away this time Anyone can accidentally hit an animal. But you FUCKING STOP TO CHECK ON IT. Maybe it´s not dead, Maybe it´s injured and needs help, maybe he´s suffering. What the fuck is wrong with people! Not funny, not funny at all. Sometimes it’s just not feasible to stop. If you’re on the highway or somewhere else where it would be dangerous to stop, then you just have to keep going and hope the animal is okay
Luck: jayofolympus:
valsore:


silver-millennial:

mandalorianreynolds:


icantwritegood:

3hunnitcreditscore:

chantosakura:

cliomancer:

bunjywunjy:

rjzimmerman:

From the Facebook pages of Project Coyote/Classic Cars USA:
Last week on my way to work in the early morning, a coyote darted in front of my car and I hit it. I heard a crunch and believed I ran over and killed it. Upon stopping at a traffic light by my work, a construction woman notified me that there was in fact a coyote still embedded in my car. When I got out to look, this poor little guy was looking up and blinking at me. I notified Alberta fish and wildlife enforcement right away who came to rescue him. Miraculously, he was freed and had minimal injuries despite having hitched a ride from Airdrie to Calgary at highway speeds! Their biologist checked him over and gave him the good to go. They released him in Kananaskis. Clearly mother nature has other plans for this special little guy!-Georgie Knox

FOOD CHAIN, BABYYYyYyy

Plot-essential NPC.


I’m dying at the fact that he looks only like…mildly perturbed and inconvenienced by this at most.



“Well shit, this is not how I expected to spend my day”

the coyote on the highway like



I feel slightly bad for laughing so much…
But, uh, luck of a Trickster God indeed;



The roadrunner got away this time

Anyone can accidentally hit an animal. But you FUCKING STOP TO CHECK ON IT. Maybe it´s not dead, Maybe it´s injured and needs help, maybe he´s suffering. What the fuck is wrong with people! Not funny, not funny at all.



Sometimes it’s just not feasible to stop. If you’re on the highway or somewhere else where it would be dangerous to stop, then you just have to keep going and hope the animal is okay

jayofolympus: valsore: silver-millennial: mandalorianreynolds: icantwritegood: 3hunnitcreditscore: chantosakura: cliomancer: bun...

Luck: Wbu any luck yet?
Luck: Wbu any luck yet?

Wbu any luck yet?

Luck: Wish Dad luck?
Luck: Wish Dad luck?

Wish Dad luck?

Luck: Apparently it was for good luck
Luck: Apparently it was for good luck

Apparently it was for good luck

Luck: Bad Luck Baphomet
Luck: Bad Luck Baphomet

Bad Luck Baphomet

Luck: Best of luck to her
Luck: Best of luck to her

Best of luck to her

Luck: Wish me luck, boys.
Luck: Wish me luck, boys.

Wish me luck, boys.

Luck: May luck be with you…
Luck: May luck be with you…

May luck be with you…

Luck: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality or Preparing for the End or Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm Stuck Dealing With This Mess ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.
Luck: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.

ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...

Luck: The A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT AGNOS ESULT WHOSE REINCARNATION ARE YOU? you ge lests yo u should A FORTUNE-TELLING GAME FOR ALL INUYASHA FANS! Just answer the questions and you'll find out who you were in a previous life during the Warring 1. You feel something round in your stomach. YES Diagnosis A 2. You like dogs. past and we tes era NO > Go to 2 YES → Go to 4 NO → Go to 3 3. When angry, you never show it on your face. YES> Go to 5 NO → Go to 6 4. You hit first and ask questions later. YES Go to 6 NO → Go to 7 5. You care about your clothes. Diagn YES> Go to 8 NO → Go to 9 INGA OFS 6. You cannot be honest about the opposite sex. YES Go to 11 NO → Go to 9 7. You are overlooked when people are passing out snacks. YES Diagnosis E 8. You like people who have mature personalities. YES Go to 11 NO → Go to 8 YOU CAN NO → Go to 10 SOLVE YOUR dand 9. You are told that you look older than your YES Diagnosis D LOVE WORRIES WITH THIS?! actual NO → Diagnosis F age. 10. Your hair is like soft seaweed. wind and at YES Diagnosis H NO → Diagnosis G 11. It is okay to love two people at the same time. YES Diagnosis B NO → Diagnosis C TRACKED INSURED ENOSIS SULTS Diagnosis A Diagnosis B REINCARNATION OF INUYASHA KAGOME HERSELF r did you get? Your refects your current Au should learn axt and work daily to What are you Just like Inuyasha you get involved in trouble easily. However, if you try hard you will find your true path. Your personality suits a leadership position. doing?! Hurry through the Bone Eater's AAH Well! You have enough spiritual power to survive whatever happens. There is nothing to worry about! Diagnosis D Diagnosis E ה hoked in trouble dve enough power to survive whatever happens. There is spiritual easily However i you try hand you will find your true path. Your personality suits a leadership position. nothing to worry about! Diagnosis D REINCARNATION OF MIROKU Diagnosis C Diagnosis E REINCARNATION OF SHIPPO EINGARNATION OF SANGO Whatever world you live in, you You are You are unre- earnest. If you are a girl, you will be a wife markable now but you have the are easy- power to attract others. going. Your luck in love is who takes care of your husband well. If you are a boy, jou will be a good husband. If you find something you are good at, it will help you in life. Many love you, but maybe not the one you love. good. You would make a good teacher or counselor-jobs which require communication skills. Diagnosis H REINCARNATION OF NARAKU Your deep Diagnosis G Diagnosis F REINCARNATION REINCARNATION OF SESSHOMARU INUYASHA QUIZ luck in love is care of your shand well. If you are a boy, l be a good husband. If good. You would make a good teacher or counselor-jobs which require communication skills. power to attract others. Many love you, but maybe not OUR RIES find something you are d at, it will help you in life. the one you love. Diagnosis G REINCARNATION OF SESSHOMARU Diagnosis F Diagnosis H REINCARNATION OF NARAKU LEINCARNATION OF KOGA You should look both you use your talents, you will never have a prob- lem eating. Friends If Your deep feelings are powerful enough to smash rocks, but you should not hold grudges ways before you get on an iron vehi- cle or before Mass you are few, but form deep bonds with them. You should treat them with around you Vou cross roads. Your person- ality is suited to globetrotting jobs. should against people and you not fear failure. You should be honest with people you like. care. ROAD SAFETY PRAYER FOR A GOOD MATCH ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT kiittsune: Apparently I’m shippos reincarnation what are you? Yay i’m Sango ^-^
Luck: The
 A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT
 AGNOS
 ESULT
 WHOSE
 REINCARNATION
 ARE YOU?
 you ge
 lests yo
 u should
 A FORTUNE-TELLING GAME FOR ALL INUYASHA FANS!
 Just answer the questions and you'll find out who you
 were in a previous life during the Warring
 1. You feel something round in your stomach.
 YES Diagnosis A
 2. You like dogs.
 past and we
 tes era
 NO > Go to 2
 YES → Go to 4
 NO → Go to 3
 3. When angry, you never show it on your face.
 YES> Go to 5
 NO → Go to 6
 4. You hit first and ask questions later.
 YES Go to 6
 NO → Go to 7
 5. You care about your clothes.
 Diagn
 YES> Go to 8
 NO → Go to 9
 INGA
 OFS
 6. You cannot be honest about the opposite sex.
 YES
 Go to 11
 NO → Go to 9
 7. You are overlooked when people are passing out snacks.
 YES Diagnosis E
 8. You like people who have mature personalities.
 YES Go to 11
 NO → Go to 8
 YOU CAN
 NO → Go to 10
 SOLVE YOUR
 dand
 9. You are told that you look older than your
 YES Diagnosis D
 LOVE WORRIES
 WITH THIS?!
 actual
 NO → Diagnosis F
 age.
 10. Your hair is like soft seaweed.
 wind
 and at
 YES Diagnosis H
 NO → Diagnosis G
 11. It is okay to love two people at the same time.
 YES Diagnosis B
 NO → Diagnosis C
 TRACKED
 INSURED

 ENOSIS
 SULTS
 Diagnosis A
 Diagnosis B
 REINCARNATION
 OF INUYASHA
 KAGOME
 HERSELF
 r did you get? Your
 refects your current
 Au should learn
 axt and work daily to
 What are you
 Just like
 Inuyasha you
 get involved
 in trouble
 easily.
 However, if
 you try hard you will find your
 true path. Your personality
 suits a leadership position.
 doing?! Hurry
 through the
 Bone Eater's
 AAH
 Well! You
 have enough
 spiritual power to survive
 whatever happens. There is
 nothing to worry about!
 Diagnosis D
 Diagnosis E
 ה

 hoked
 in trouble
 dve enough
 power to survive
 whatever happens. There is
 spiritual
 easily
 However i
 you try hand you will find your
 true path. Your personality
 suits a leadership position.
 nothing to worry about!
 Diagnosis D
 REINCARNATION
 OF MIROKU
 Diagnosis C
 Diagnosis E
 REINCARNATION
 OF SHIPPO
 EINGARNATION
 OF SANGO
 Whatever
 world you
 live in, you
 You are
 You are unre-
 earnest. If you
 are a girl, you
 will be a wife
 markable
 now but you
 have the
 are easy-
 power to
 attract others.
 going. Your
 luck in love is
 who takes
 care of your
 husband well. If you are a boy,
 jou will be a good husband. If
 you find something you are
 good at, it will help you in life.
 Many love you, but maybe not
 the one you love.
 good. You would make a good
 teacher or counselor-jobs
 which require communication
 skills.
 Diagnosis H
 REINCARNATION
 OF NARAKU
 Your deep
 Diagnosis G
 Diagnosis F
 REINCARNATION
 REINCARNATION
 OF SESSHOMARU
 INUYASHA QUIZ

 luck in love is
 care of your
 shand well. If you are a boy,
 l be a good husband. If
 good. You would make a good
 teacher or counselor-jobs
 which require communication
 skills.
 power to
 attract others.
 Many love you, but maybe not
 OUR
 RIES
 find something you are
 d at, it will help you in life.
 the one you love.
 Diagnosis G
 REINCARNATION
 OF SESSHOMARU
 Diagnosis F
 Diagnosis H
 REINCARNATION
 OF NARAKU
 LEINCARNATION
 OF KOGA
 You should
 look both
 you use
 your talents,
 you will never
 have a prob-
 lem eating.
 Friends
 If
 Your deep
 feelings are
 powerful
 enough to
 smash rocks,
 but you
 should not hold grudges
 ways before
 you get on
 an iron vehi-
 cle or before
 Mass
 you are few, but
 form deep bonds with them.
 You should treat them with
 around
 you
 Vou cross roads. Your person-
 ality is suited to globetrotting
 jobs.
 should
 against people and
 you
 not fear failure. You should be
 honest with people you like.
 care.
 ROAD
 SAFETY
 PRAYER
 FOR A GOOD
 MATCH
 ACADEMIC
 ACHIEVEMENT
kiittsune:

Apparently I’m shippos reincarnation what are you?



Yay i’m Sango ^-^

kiittsune: Apparently I’m shippos reincarnation what are you? Yay i’m Sango ^-^

Luck: 2:50 1 ull LTE Today 10:32 AM This is such a weird thing to do. Don't take it as an insult. It's a big compliment actually. I really liked you a lot and I think you are really cute and sweet and funny. So I want to set you up with my good friend if you would be ok with that. I just think you two would have more in common than we do. She likes heavy metal music and she's a nerd and she's shy and beautiful and funny. She's religious though and that's a deal breaker for her if you aren't religious. So two questions, would you want to meet her? And are you religious? Today 11:18 AM I'm super flattered, but l'm very much not religious and totally respect that being a deal breaker. As curious as l'd be to meet her, since that is a deal breaker it's a moot point! I also enjoyed our date last night, you seem like an interesting and attractive woman. But I think there was just a certain chemistry missing, and l'd like to give you the opportunity to find a guy who's a better match for you. Hahaha You're so wonderful! Omg. I'm going to talk to my friend. The entire date I was thinking that you are perfect for her. You two have the same energy. Ugh. Yeah. Religion is a deal breaker for her. You are so nice though! That is the absolute sweetest way anyone has ever turned me down. I wish I had more single female friends to set you up with because you are so sweet and awesome. I would give you 5 stars if I could rate you on here. Hahaha. Sent Aww, you're too sweet. The feeling is mutual. I absolutely wish you and your friend the best of luck with navigating the buffet of guys you both undoubtedly have as options. Like I said, you seem like an amazing girl, just maybe not the amazing girl for me! Send Type a message GIF Stitch It! The most wholesome way that I have ever been turned down
Luck: 2:50 1
 ull LTE
 Today 10:32 AM
 This is such a weird thing to do. Don't
 take it as an insult. It's a big
 compliment actually. I really liked you a
 lot and I think you are really cute and
 sweet and funny. So I want to set you
 up with my good friend if you would be
 ok with that. I just think you two would
 have more in common than we do. She
 likes heavy metal music and she's a
 nerd and she's shy and beautiful and
 funny.
 She's religious though and that's a deal
 breaker for her if you aren't religious.
 So two questions, would you want to
 meet her? And are you religious?
 Today 11:18 AM
 I'm super flattered, but l'm very much
 not religious and totally respect that
 being a deal breaker.
 As curious as l'd be to meet her, since
 that is a deal breaker it's a moot point!
 I also enjoyed our date last night, you
 seem like an interesting and attractive
 woman. But I think there was just a
 certain chemistry missing, and l'd like
 to give you the opportunity to find a
 guy who's a better match for you.
 Hahaha
 You're so wonderful! Omg. I'm going to
 talk to my friend. The entire date I was
 thinking that you are perfect for her.
 You two have the same energy.
 Ugh. Yeah. Religion is a deal breaker
 for her. You are so nice though! That is
 the absolute sweetest way anyone has
 ever turned me down. I wish I had more
 single female friends to set you up with
 because you are so sweet and
 awesome.
 I would give you 5 stars if I could rate
 you on here. Hahaha.
 Sent
 Aww, you're too sweet. The feeling is
 mutual. I absolutely wish you and your
 friend the best of luck with navigating
 the buffet of guys you both
 undoubtedly have as options. Like I
 said, you seem like an amazing girl, just
 maybe not the amazing girl for me!
 Send
 Type a message
 GIF
 Stitch It!
The most wholesome way that I have ever been turned down

The most wholesome way that I have ever been turned down

Luck: Tos pm Telstra 0 Can your job pay trom my crack addiction. Il be your friend or A more if you want to? Only if my repayment is you fuel my crack addiction My address is 122 Thomas St. Dandenong Vic 3175 So how did you want me to sneak in?l assume they've got guards around the place Dress up as a ninja turtle and tell them your here to entertain me And than give me my crack so we can smoke together. I know a place Send Typea esage 705 pm Telstra 0 Okay but which one?1 think if came as the wrong one it' blow our cover Attention to detail is how we pull this off Raphaet Iike em tough Rough Only if I can tie you up using my red face mask smoke your pipe if you do go through with tying me up. And maybe even do more if you play your moves correctly In that case when do you want me there by Tre eage Send Tatatre 40 708 pm 3am wear your best jocks Kidding me?i won't be weanng any Much better expect you to be already undressed when t get there as we may heed to move quickly I only fuck with socks on. Miss me with that gay shit m I can work with that Remember though for payment t need my fair share of your crack I thought your bringing the crack Type mesage Send Teletra 0 106 pm bring the crack But i want your ass as my payment Oh you'll have that in spades Perfect. Sounds lika a fine date to me see you there So who are you really Lmao Some bloke on her tryn to catfish some mother fuckers I'm a Nigerian prince just here to have some fun Typeeage Send Telstre 40 706 pm 12% Must be pretty rich then d Are you actually addicted to crack? Fuck no. Woukdr't even have the taintest of idea of where to get it Are you? I got peer pressured to smoke sum in year 7 haven't been the same since Should definitely see someone bout it Shit fucks your ife up which I'm sure you've found out Ive been clean for about 3 years now but considered doing it A again after my recent break up Tye a meage Send Tatutre 40 708 pm now Dur consIoerea aong it again after my recent break up Nah nah don't do it. 3 years is an accomplishment a lot of peosle dream of achieving Honestly, if that's actualy you in that photo (which r'm highly doubiting nether less), they're missing out big time. Thank you for our conversation. You're a genuine guy and I hope you do find someone who likes you for you. Don't give up on love! Thank you very much, appreciate that Good luck with everything for you ype age Send Don’t do crack kids
Luck: Tos pm
 Telstra 0
 Can your job pay trom my crack
 addiction. Il be your friend or
 A more if you want to?
 Only if my repayment is you fuel
 my crack addiction
 My address is 122 Thomas St.
 Dandenong Vic 3175
 So how did you want me to sneak
 in?l assume they've got guards
 around the place
 Dress up as a ninja turtle and tell
 them your here to entertain me
 And than give me my crack so
 we can smoke together. I know a
 place
 Send
 Typea esage
 705 pm
 Telstra 0
 Okay but which one?1 think if
 came as the wrong one it' blow
 our cover
 Attention to detail is how we pull
 this off
 Raphaet Iike em tough
 Rough
 Only if I can tie you up using my
 red face mask
 smoke your pipe if you do go
 through with tying me up. And
 maybe even do more if you play
 your moves correctly
 In that case when do you want
 me there by
 Tre eage
 Send
 Tatatre 40
 708 pm
 3am wear your best jocks
 Kidding me?i won't be weanng
 any
 Much better
 expect you to be already
 undressed when t get there as
 we may heed to move quickly
 I only fuck with socks on. Miss
 me with that gay shit
 m
 I can work with that
 Remember though for payment t
 need my fair share of your crack
 I thought your bringing the crack
 Type mesage
 Send
 Teletra 0
 106 pm
 bring the crack
 But i want your ass as my
 payment
 Oh you'll have that in spades
 Perfect. Sounds lika a fine date
 to me
 see you there
 So who are you really Lmao
 Some bloke on her tryn to
 catfish some mother fuckers
 I'm a Nigerian prince just here to
 have some fun
 Typeeage
 Send
 Telstre 40
 706 pm
 12%
 Must be pretty rich then d
 Are you actually addicted to
 crack?
 Fuck no. Woukdr't even have the
 taintest of idea of where to get it
 Are you?
 I got peer pressured to smoke
 sum in year 7 haven't been the
 same since
 Should definitely see someone
 bout it Shit fucks your ife up
 which I'm sure you've found out
 Ive been clean for about 3 years
 now but considered doing it
 A again after my recent break up
 Tye a meage
 Send
 Tatutre 40
 708 pm
 now Dur consIoerea aong it
 again after my recent break up
 Nah nah don't do it. 3 years is an
 accomplishment a lot of peosle
 dream of achieving
 Honestly, if that's actualy you in
 that photo (which r'm highly
 doubiting nether less), they're
 missing out big time.
 Thank you for our conversation.
 You're a genuine guy and I hope
 you do find someone who likes
 you for you. Don't give up on
 love!
 Thank you very much,
 appreciate that
 Good luck with everything for
 you
 ype age
 Send
Don’t do crack kids

Don’t do crack kids

Luck: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8"); *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world * and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error_reporting (E_ALL) ; ini_set("display_errors",true); print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?> I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.
Luck: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8");
 *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS.
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere.
 *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment.
 *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 * and hope it will be enough.
 Farewell.
 error_reporting (E_ALL) ;
 ini_set("display_errors",true);
 print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?>
I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.