Wifie
Wifie

Wifie

Waiting For
Waiting For

Waiting For

Horn
Horn

Horn

trailer
trailer

trailer

please wait
 please wait

please wait

bells
 bells

bells

the holidays
 the holidays

the holidays

decorations
 decorations

decorations

import
import

import

amid
amid

amid

🔥 | Latest

loaded: change.org Trending petition Matt There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it. meatswitch: snakegay: indianworiorprincess: snakegay: jorycancrochet: gorps: blipblerp: hungwy: lgbltsandwitch: ssj14goku: dildomuncher3000: ssj14goku: domozillla: ssj14goku: thetwinkerbell: ssj14goku: Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger. The finger blocks it The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond. The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded. No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong. Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger. No the finger would stop it I’m loving the idiocy of this post. Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom… Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics :V no the finger would stop it You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses the finger would stop it
loaded: change.org Trending petition
 Matt There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we
 think you might be interested in signing it.
meatswitch:
snakegay:


indianworiorprincess:

snakegay:


jorycancrochet:

gorps:

blipblerp:


hungwy:

lgbltsandwitch:


ssj14goku:

dildomuncher3000:

ssj14goku:

domozillla:

ssj14goku:

thetwinkerbell:

ssj14goku:

Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them

It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger

No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this

This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.

The finger blocks it

The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.

The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand


People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded.



No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong.


Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.


No the finger would stop it


I’m loving the idiocy of this post.
Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…
Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics :V

no the finger would stop it


You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer  to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet.  Dumdasses

the finger would stop it

meatswitch: snakegay: indianworiorprincess: snakegay: jorycancrochet: gorps: blipblerp: hungwy: lgbltsandwitch: ssj14goku: d...

loaded: change.org Trending petition Matt There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it. meatswitch: snakegay: indianworiorprincess: snakegay: jorycancrochet: gorps: blipblerp: hungwy: lgbltsandwitch: ssj14goku: dildomuncher3000: ssj14goku: domozillla: ssj14goku: thetwinkerbell: ssj14goku: Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger. The finger blocks it The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond. The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded. No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong. Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger. No the finger would stop it I’m loving the idiocy of this post. Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom… Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics :V no the finger would stop it You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses the finger would stop it
loaded: change.org Trending petition
 Matt There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we
 think you might be interested in signing it.
meatswitch:
snakegay:


indianworiorprincess:

snakegay:


jorycancrochet:

gorps:

blipblerp:


hungwy:

lgbltsandwitch:


ssj14goku:

dildomuncher3000:

ssj14goku:

domozillla:

ssj14goku:

thetwinkerbell:

ssj14goku:

Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them

It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger

No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this

This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.

The finger blocks it

The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.

The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand


People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded.



No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong.


Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.


No the finger would stop it


I’m loving the idiocy of this post.
Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…
Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics :V

no the finger would stop it


You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer  to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet.  Dumdasses

the finger would stop it

meatswitch: snakegay: indianworiorprincess: snakegay: jorycancrochet: gorps: blipblerp: hungwy: lgbltsandwitch: ssj14goku: d...

loaded: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons) It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m. I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a "Horse's Ass". I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate. I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up to be the incredible people they are meant to be I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER! In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's Club in Baysville. I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been cremated. Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's ass For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest... Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back Love, Sybil This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life
loaded: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons)
 It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed
 away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side
 February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m.
 I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately
 referred to as a "Horse's Ass".
 I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with
 Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the
 Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the
 bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the
 ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey
 soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate.
 I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac
 Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up
 to be the incredible people they are meant to be
 I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my
 shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital
 School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER!
 In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a
 school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active
 horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's
 Club in Baysville.
 I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been
 cremated.
 Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband
 and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's
 ass
 For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it
 wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest...
 Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and
 back
 Love, Sybil
This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

loaded: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons) It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m. I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a "Horse's Ass". I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate. I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up to be the incredible people they are meant to be I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER! In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's Club in Baysville. I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been cremated. Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's ass For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest... Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back Love, Sybil This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life
loaded: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons)
 It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed
 away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side
 February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m.
 I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately
 referred to as a "Horse's Ass".
 I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with
 Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the
 Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the
 bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the
 ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey
 soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate.
 I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac
 Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up
 to be the incredible people they are meant to be
 I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my
 shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital
 School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER!
 In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a
 school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active
 horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's
 Club in Baysville.
 I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been
 cremated.
 Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband
 and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's
 ass
 For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it
 wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest...
 Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and
 back
 Love, Sybil
This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

loaded: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons) It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m. I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a "Horse's Ass". I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate. I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up to be the incredible people they are meant to be I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER! In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's Club in Baysville. I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been cremated. Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's ass For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest... Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back Love, Sybil This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life
loaded: HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons)
 It hurts me to admit it... but , Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed
 away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side
 February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m.
 I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately
 referred to as a "Horse's Ass".
 I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with
 Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the
 Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the
 bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the
 ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey
 soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate.
 I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac
 Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin ...grow up
 to be the incredible people they are meant to be
 I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my
 shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital
 School Nursing class of 1957B -Best Class EVER!
 In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a
 school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active
 horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's
 Club in Baysville.
 I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted... . having been
 cremated.
 Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband
 and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's
 ass
 For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this. it
 wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest...
 Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and
 back
 Love, Sybil
This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

This womans obituary (Hamilton Spectator) proves that in death, she is funnier than I am in life

loaded: SO YOU'RE SAYING EVERY TIME GARGAN OR BROCK HAS BEEN INCARCERATED- 5 -WHILE BONDED WITH THIS ALIEN CREATURE, THEY'VE BEEN PERMITTED TO KEEP IT ON THEIR PERSON?! YES! EVEN THOUGH WE'VE KNOWN WE COULD REMOVE IT WITH SONIC BLASTS! BLAME THE ACLU AND PETA! THEY LOBBIED FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE SYMBIOTE! UNBELIEVABLE! WHY NOT LET HIM CARRY A LOADED FIREARM WHILE THEY'RE AT IT?! symbisexual-disaster: cassowarykisses: Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Blame the ACLU and PETA! They lobbied for the rights of the symbiote! on a meta level, this is an attempt by the writers to come up with an in-universe reason for Venom never being broken up into human symbiote when they’ve been arrested (and also take a dig at the ACLU and PETA) but in-universe? the raw implications of the ACLU having a successful symbiote rights campaign that happens entirely offscreen and is never mentioned again?  when did this campaign happen?  who spearheaded it? Eddie did date two lawyers (Anne Weying and Beck Underwood) - were they involved in any capacity? did the ACLU actually sue on behalf of the symbiote? if so, what judge presided over this? what new fields of case law have been opened up by this? what existing case law is there in the Marvel universe for the rights of mutants and extraterrestrials? who were the witnesses in this case? even if it never went to court and was a 100% an ACLU campaign to get people to appeal to their representatives on behalf of symbiotes, you could still have expert witnesses called to Congress. you probably can’t subpoena Spider-Man, since his identity isn’t public, but what about Reed Richards (since he had the symbiote in captivity at least once)? what about various prison therapists and case managers? Matt Murdock, since he represented Venom in the Venom: On Trial miniseries? there is an entire court drama waiting to be written here and this throwaway line will never be touched on again This is insane hahaha That awkward moment when a comic universe PETA is more progressive than the real one.
loaded: SO YOU'RE
 SAYING EVERY
 TIME GARGAN OR
 BROCK HAS BEEN
 INCARCERATED-
 5
 -WHILE
 BONDED WITH THIS
 ALIEN CREATURE,
 THEY'VE BEEN
 PERMITTED TO KEEP
 IT ON THEIR
 PERSON?!
 YES! EVEN
 THOUGH WE'VE
 KNOWN WE COULD
 REMOVE IT
 WITH SONIC
 BLASTS!
 BLAME THE
 ACLU AND PETA!
 THEY LOBBIED FOR
 THE RIGHTS OF
 THE SYMBIOTE!
 UNBELIEVABLE!
 WHY NOT LET HIM
 CARRY A LOADED
 FIREARM WHILE
 THEY'RE
 AT IT?!
symbisexual-disaster:
cassowarykisses:

Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Blame the ACLU and PETA! They lobbied for the rights of the symbiote!
on a meta level, this is an attempt by the writers to come up with an in-universe reason for Venom never being broken up into human  symbiote when they’ve been arrested (and also take a dig at the ACLU and PETA)
but in-universe? the raw implications of the ACLU having a successful symbiote rights campaign that happens entirely offscreen and is never mentioned again? 
when did this campaign happen? 
who spearheaded it? Eddie did date two lawyers (Anne Weying and Beck Underwood) - were they involved in any capacity?
did the ACLU actually sue on behalf of the symbiote? if so, what judge presided over this? what new fields of case law have been opened up by this? what existing case law is there in the Marvel universe for the rights of mutants and extraterrestrials?
who were the witnesses in this case? even if it never went to court and was a 100% an ACLU campaign to get people to appeal to their representatives on behalf of symbiotes, you could still have expert witnesses called to Congress. you probably can’t subpoena Spider-Man, since his identity isn’t public, but what about Reed Richards (since he had the symbiote in captivity at least once)? what about various prison therapists and case managers? Matt Murdock, since he represented Venom in the Venom: On Trial miniseries?
there is an entire court drama waiting to be written here and this throwaway line will never be touched on again

This is insane hahaha

That awkward moment when a comic universe PETA is more progressive than the real one.

symbisexual-disaster: cassowarykisses: Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]!...

loaded: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING: WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00 You won't be getting up for 5 through his diaper and now your bed is covered in urine more You change a diaper and try to get the kid to sleep a little longer but now the he's yelling zoo animals and doing flips on the 6:30 You made some breakfast for your child, but today he decided he hates eggs. He's saying he wants "scrims" but you don't know what that means. He won't explain and just keeps yelling "scrims" louder and louder 7:00 Your pillow got a little warm so you turn it over and go back to You've now watched the same episode of Spongebob four times. One time you tried to change it over to the news and your kid shoved a spoon in the Tranquil visions dance in your 8:00 O0 head as the sweet embrace of slumber engulfs your resting body You attempt to take a shower but your kid keeps throwing can openers into the tub. You weren't aware that you hacd multiple can openers An angel comes down and gently kisses your forehead. Sleep well, sweet prince 8:30 You walk upstairs to your room, but didn't realize your kid was using the stairs as a stunt zone for Hot Wheels and you slip on one and nearly die as you tumble back down to the A hummingbird perches itself outside your window and sings a sweet lullaby. He blows you a kiss and soars away 9:00 You try to finally go to the bathroom, but forgot to lock the door so now your kid is crying because you won't let him dump sand in your lap. He dumps it on the dog instead. The sand was actually used cat litter You wake briefly to adjust your sleep number. (You bought an adjustable bed with all the disposable income you have from not having a kid.) 9:30 You hear laughter, which is almost more terrifying than crying. You walk in the living room to see your kid making 10:00 S Still sleeping soundly, like a puppy in front of a crackling snow angels in glue. There's no way you're getting your deposit back with a giant glue angel in the middle of the carpet Your kid doses off and you try to catch up on your favorite show You stir a little and check your texts. Your friend wants to go to brunch later. That sounds nice 30 more minutes of sleep and you'll get ready for that. Maybe go to mall later or ride go-karts Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30 there's a dramatic moment where the music builds and your kid is now wide-awake. (Screw You get everyone loaded into the car to go to the zoo, even though it's 90 degrees and so humid taxidermy is coming back to life. Your kid yells a racial slur he heard in a movie. Out of all the words he's heard, that's the only one that stuck. You wake up feeling refreshed and beautiful. You know what? It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the bed a while and watch a movie 11:00 srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids
loaded: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING:
 WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID
 WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS
 Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00
 You won't be getting up for 5
 through his diaper and now your
 bed is covered in urine
 more
 You change a diaper and try to
 get the kid to sleep a little longer
 but now the he's yelling zoo
 animals and doing flips on the
 6:30
 You made some breakfast for
 your child, but today he decided
 he hates eggs. He's saying he
 wants "scrims" but you don't
 know what that means. He won't
 explain and just keeps yelling
 "scrims" louder and louder
 7:00
 Your pillow got a little warm so
 you turn it over and go back to
 You've now watched the same
 episode of Spongebob four
 times. One time you tried to
 change it over to the news and
 your kid shoved a spoon in the
 Tranquil visions dance in your
 8:00
 O0
 head as the sweet embrace of
 slumber engulfs your resting
 body
 You attempt to take a shower
 but your kid keeps throwing can
 openers into the tub. You
 weren't aware that you hacd
 multiple can openers
 An angel comes down and
 gently kisses your forehead.
 Sleep well, sweet prince
 8:30
 You walk upstairs to your room,
 but didn't realize your kid was
 using the stairs as a stunt zone
 for Hot Wheels and you slip on
 one and nearly die as you
 tumble back down to the
 A hummingbird perches itself
 outside your window and sings a
 sweet lullaby. He blows you a
 kiss and soars away
 9:00
 You try to finally go to the
 bathroom, but forgot to lock the
 door so now your kid is crying
 because you won't let him dump
 sand in your lap. He dumps it on
 the dog instead. The sand was
 actually used cat litter
 You wake briefly to adjust your
 sleep number. (You bought an
 adjustable bed with all the
 disposable income you have
 from not having a kid.)
 9:30
 You hear laughter, which is
 almost more terrifying than
 crying. You walk in the living
 room to see your kid making 10:00
 S
 Still sleeping soundly, like a
 puppy in front of a crackling
 snow angels in glue. There's no
 way you're getting your deposit
 back with a giant glue angel in
 the middle of the carpet
 Your kid doses off and you try to
 catch up on your favorite show
 You stir a little and check your
 texts. Your friend wants to go to
 brunch later. That sounds nice
 30 more minutes of sleep and
 you'll get ready for that. Maybe
 go to mall later or ride go-karts
 Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30
 there's a dramatic moment
 where the music builds and your
 kid is now wide-awake. (Screw
 You get everyone loaded into
 the car to go to the zoo, even
 though it's 90 degrees and so
 humid taxidermy is coming back
 to life. Your kid yells a racial slur
 he heard in a movie. Out of all
 the words he's heard, that's the
 only one that stuck.
 You wake up feeling refreshed
 and beautiful. You know what?
 It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the
 bed a while and watch a movie
 11:00
srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids