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![Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures
u/Oceanundertow
Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
Get startled by phone ringing
It's one of my players
Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
favor?"
OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
laptop at the office so I can't play them."
NaniTheFuck.mp3
Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
says he'll see me on game night.
Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
for once. I should have thanked him
I am the dumb dumb mister.
positive-memes:Bed time stories](https://pics.esmemes.com/insomnia-adventures-u-oceanundertow-be-me-sleep-deprived-dm-half-an-61533067.png)
Dank, Iphone, and Memes: t1 ブルームーン Retweeted
Dwight K. Schrute lII
@jahnuaryy
He probably tells you that you
don't need insurance
41 Strange @41 Strange 1d
The Satanic Leaf-Tailed Gecko
20:47 13 Aug 19 Twitter for iPhone
1,482 Retweets 3,473 Likes
Insurance is a scam anyway -OCIEG Gecko by battleangel1999
MORE MEMES
Insurance is a scam anyway -OCIEG Gecko by battleangel1999 MORE MEMES
Homeless, Iphone, and News: Bishop Talbert Swan
@TalbertSwan
Remember Tanya McDowell?
She got 12 yrs for sending her 6 yr
old son to Norwalk CT's Brookside
Elementary School while she
'lived' in Bridgeport, even
though
she was homeless.
She was convicted of 1st-degree
larceny for "stealing" an
education.
But, #CollegeCheatingScandal
10:39 AM 13 Mar 19 Twitter for iPhone
43.3K Retweets 70.2K Likes
Bishop Talbert Swan @Talbe... 1d
Remember Kelley Williams-Bolar?
She was was convicted of using the
wrong residence to get her daughters
into a better school district in Ohio than
underperforming Akron.
She was sentenced to 3 years & ordered
to pay $30,000 to the school district
But,
whyyoustabbedme:This is really so fucked up. These are the stories we need to be hearing about in the news.
whyyoustabbedme:This is really so fucked up. These are the stories we need to be hearing about in the news.
Bad, Definitely, and Fucking: AP West Region
AP @APWest Region
Astronomers say they've missed
more than 2,000 hours of
observations on Hawaii's tallest
mountain as Native Hawaiian
protesters block construction of a
new telescope on a
peak they
consider sacred.
Amid protest, Hawaii astronomers lose observation
time
apnews.com
11:36 AM Aug 10, 2019 SocialFlow
salt, fat, acid, yeet
@hermit_hwarang
Well Native Hawaiians have missed
more than 120 years of
independence so too bad
AP AP West Region
@APWestRegion Aug 10
Astronomers say they've missed more than 2,000
hours of observations on Hawaii's tallest mountain
as Native Hawaiian protesters block construction of
a new telescope on a peak they consider sacred.
apne.ws/diROfAz
4:08 AM Aug 12, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
47.5K Likes
14.8K Retweets
larissaloki:
thatpettyblackgirl:
The AP is fucking pathetic.
And fuck those astronomers and their telescope.
I can definitely sympathize with any native trying to fight for their land.💯Keep fighting folks✊🏽
I’m all for space stuff but just because you think so so location is a good place to build, doesn’t mean that place isn’t important to others. If locals say no, look elsewhere.
Fuck those scientists
larissaloki: thatpettyblackgirl: The AP is fucking pathetic. And fuck those astronomers and their telescope. I can definitely sympathiz...
Android, Dank, and Future: Vinsmoke
@DatAfrican12
You niggas are 14 and talking about being subs and doms.
How about you SUBmit your homework and DOMinate
your academic future
10:52 AM Jul 27, 2019 Twitter for Android
3.6K Retweets
10.3K Likes
Y'all will talk about being INTO BONDAGE but wont GET OUT from the BONDAGE of CAPITALISM by MGLLN
MORE MEMES
Y'all will talk about being INTO BONDAGE but wont GET OUT from the BONDAGE of CAPITALISM by MGLLN MORE MEMES
Ass, Dank, and Future: justin
@fatherjuju
Why the FUCK are LED headlights
legal? i'm glad you can see into the
future with your bright ass neon blue
lights but i'm about to fly off the road,
carol
5:35 AM 31/03/19 Twitter for iPhone
39.1K Retweets 169K Likes
Lowest Effective Dose (LED) by farrukhsshah
MORE MEMES
Lowest Effective Dose (LED) by farrukhsshah MORE MEMES
Dude, DnD, and Random: "LARP is just a bunch of nerds in bathrobes hitting each other with foam swords!" -Random dude that no one likes
-Leopold the Just
"LARP is just a bunch of nerds in bathrobes hitting each other with foam swords!" -Random dude that no one likes -Leopold the Just
Android, Life, and Love: Dominique Apollon
@ApollonTweets
It's taken me 45 trips around the sun,
but for the first time in my life l know
what it feels like to have a "band-aid"
in my own skin tone. You can barely
even spot it in the first image. For real
I'm holding back tears
12:27 PM 4/19/19 Twitter for Android
9,680 Retweets 53.7K Likes
thisisevak:
randomawe:
jusjujubeanz:
55555praise:
uncleromeo:
for this wondering where to cop. I work with my hands and regularly get cuts and scrapes and I love these
they also come in mid tones.
This is nice :)
✊🏾
There’s also a black owned company called Browndages!
They come in a number of different shades as well 🥰
Rebloging for the black owned company
thisisevak: randomawe: jusjujubeanz: 55555praise: uncleromeo: for this wondering where to cop. I work with my hands and regularly get...
College, Dank, and Iphone: You Matter Hoodies Return in Se...
@DemetriusHarmon
the pilot told me he hope i have a safe
flight.... Imao nigga hope?
6:17 PM 8/12/19 from College Park, GA Twitter
for iPhone
7,486 Retweets 59.7K Likes
I’ve never been on a plane! by dogheaddoghead
MORE MEMES
I’ve never been on a plane! by dogheaddoghead MORE MEMES
Fucking, Lmao, and News: DYTThe Daily Telegraph
Follow
@dailytelegraph
Why are video games now filled with soft-
porn heroines with ridiculously large breasts?
bit.ly/2sZNJi1
QU
Master Miller
Follow
@_millerworks
Replying to @Sargon_of_Akkad
because niggas like big titty bitches next
article, write some real fucking news
Retweets
Likes
317
1,211
11:42 PM 11 Jun 2017
libertarirynn:
Probably for the same reason they didn’t cast a balding middle-aged man with a potbelly to play Thor. Straight men like titties. Straight women like abs. Stop acting like this is some new information.
Lmao my response aged interestingly considering Endgame but I stand by it 😂
libertarirynn: Probably for the same reason they didn’t cast a balding middle-aged man with a potbelly to play Thor. Straight men like titt...
Android, Dank, and Memes: broke
@evilbart24
Uber driver:
Me:.
Uber driver:
Me:...
Uber driver:
Me:...
Uber driver:
Me:
Uber driver: you have arrived
Me: 5 Stars
7:56 PM 8/12/19 Twitter for Android
74.4K Retweets 396K Likes
meirl by Go_To_Bethel_And_Sin
MORE MEMES
meirl by Go_To_Bethel_And_Sin MORE MEMES
Android, Dank, and Homeless: Marvel Studios
MARVEL STUDIOS
@MarvelStudios
Spiderman:Homecoming
Spiderman:Far from home
Ideas of the next one?
10:35 PM 22 May 19 Twitter for Android
2,184 Retweets 9,449 Likes
Tom Holland
@TomHolland.. 1m
Replying to @MarvelStudios
Spiderman:homeless
t1 55
3,689
Homeless spider by BLAZEITMITCH
MORE MEMES
Homeless spider by BLAZEITMITCH MORE MEMES
Confused, Dank, and Juice: FBG Juice
@TrademarkJuice
Told my coworker i was
Ambidextrous this nigga said "that's
wassup bro love who you love"
LMFAOO0000
6/21/18, 7:46 PM from Greensboro, NC
73.5K Retweets 303K Likes
dashinglyhandsomeninja
He a little confused, but he got the spirit.
He got the message by Boda135
MORE MEMES
He got the message by Boda135 MORE MEMES
Confused, Juice, and Love: FBG Juice
@TrademarkJuice
Told my coworker i was
Ambidextrous this nigga said "that's
wassup bro love who you love"
LMFAOO0000
6/21/18, 7:46 PM from Greensboro, NC
73.5K Retweets 303K Likes
dashinglyhandsomeninja
He a little confused, but he got the spirit.
He got the message via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2OXjrfy
He got the message via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2OXjrfy
Dad, Energy, and Fucking: ashley
@lesbianuraraka
I ASKED MY DAD TO HELP ME
REPLACE THE MOTHERBOARD
OF MY XBOX AND HE JUST SAID
"do i look like a fucking rocket
scientist?"
MY DAD WORKED FOR
1:13 am 11 Nov 18
15.8K Retweets 118K Likes
castielsteenwolf:
amelie-not-amelia:
Same energy
one time i texted my fireman dad saying something was “lit” and he responded “please dont say that”
castielsteenwolf: amelie-not-amelia: Same energy one time i texted my fireman dad saying something was “lit” and he responded “please do...
Iphone, My House, and Tumblr: Thread
Payton(Stay Underclassy)
@ShartiTheClown
So, last month we had someone who's harassed me and
other trans people for years show up at
@SensitiveComedy meaning we've had to take a little
break
Today, these have been stuck on my front door and
nowhere else on the whole street.
oman
woman
women
noun
adult human female
10:55 PM Jul 25, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
486 Retweets
1.4K Likes
(Stay Underclassy) @ShartiTheClown 15h
Payton
Replying to @ShartiTheClown
This is terrifying? Someone who hates me for being trans came to my house
and put transphobic stickers on my front door. They want to make me feel
unsafe
12
t 89
863
(Stay Underclassy) @ShartiTheClown 15h
Payton
Well, mission accomplished.
terflies:
tygressofaera:
TERFs are horrible.
[x] Eventually we can kill the idea that these are innocently about definitions and not a transphobic dog whistle.
![Iphone, My House, and Tumblr: Thread
Payton(Stay Underclassy)
@ShartiTheClown
So, last month we had someone who's harassed me and
other trans people for years show up at
@SensitiveComedy meaning we've had to take a little
break
Today, these have been stuck on my front door and
nowhere else on the whole street.
oman
woman
women
noun
adult human female
10:55 PM Jul 25, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
486 Retweets
1.4K Likes
(Stay Underclassy) @ShartiTheClown 15h
Payton
Replying to @ShartiTheClown
This is terrifying? Someone who hates me for being trans came to my house
and put transphobic stickers on my front door. They want to make me feel
unsafe
12
t 89
863
(Stay Underclassy) @ShartiTheClown 15h
Payton
Well, mission accomplished.
terflies:
tygressofaera:
TERFs are horrible.
[x] Eventually we can kill the idea that these are innocently about definitions and not a transphobic dog whistle.](https://pics.esmemes.com/thread-payton-stay-underclassy-shartitheclown-so-last-month-we-had-someone-61358016.png)
terflies: tygressofaera: TERFs are horrible. [x] Eventually we can kill the idea that these are innocently about definitions and not a tr...
Blackpeopletwitter, Horny, and Iphone: raina
@hotfreshpizza
The Beatles didn't make good music they
just happened to exist in the first decade
that women were allowed to be horny
11:23 AM 8/11/19 Twitter for iPhone
756 Retweets 5,029 Likes
Success is only a matter of being in the right place at the right time (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
Success is only a matter of being in the right place at the right time (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
Dank, Girls, and Iphone: hussein kesvani Retweeted
Mr. Starks Test Drive Pilot
@xavbalan
Why does this make sense
ChaosGiant Memes
5'9" Girls
5'9/" Guys
10:36 AM Aug 11, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
47.8K Retweets
215.8K Likes
Ok, you got me Im actually 5'8 and 3/4s. by choppa790bot
MORE MEMES
Ok, you got me Im actually 5'8 and 3/4s. by choppa790bot MORE MEMES
