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    Less Than: polygonshons:Moments in the recent Overboard where less than one brain cell was used
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: polygonshons:Moments in the recent Overboard where less than one brain cell was used
                
                

                
            

            
            
polygonshons:Moments in the recent Overboard where less than one brain cell was used

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: feels like less than a week ago. my how time flies. 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: feels like less than a week ago. my how time flies. 
                
            

            
            
feels like less than a week ago. my how time flies. 

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: wwwwyamd:
a-humble-waffle:


burn-brighter-than-fire:

oxfordcommaforever:

etanselian:

sexhaver:
the LAPD is having a town hall and getting fucking eviscerated
The automated YouTube captions are bad in places so here is a transcription of this incredible call.
[Video description: A Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers keeping them to two minutes. The current caller is Jon Barr.]
LAPC President Eileen Decker, responding to the question “can you hear me?”: Yes, we can.
Barr: Great. Uh, first things first: Chief Moore, you’ve got to do a better job of pretending you care about this, man. I’ve been watching you roll your eyes and offer halfhearted smirks acting like a teenager who’s falling asleep in detention. Are you not aware of the war crimes your department’s doing, or are you just that impatient to go do more of them? I see a lot of you, particularly Soboroff, only react when folks use profanity in their remarks. If you think curse words are bad, wait until you hear about these 600-plus murders your department has committed over the last seven years! As long as Moore’s out here equating peaceful protestors with cops who murder black people, you all could pretend to be as angry about murder as the F-word, okay kids? I know you’re all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you’re bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs? If not, you could find new jobs in retail or restaurants. I know how desperate Garcetti is to get Angelenos consuming again during a global pandemic. Where were the curfews then, by the way? Weird. Chief Moore is morally obligated to resign. Mikey, I know you said you didn’t mean protestors are as much to blame for George Floyd’s murder as his murderers – that’s a lie! It is what you meant! And we all know it. Mikey’s made it clear in his racist actions and empty platitudes that he doesn’t care about the well-being of his constituents. He loves to tear gas them, blind them, force them indoors with curfews that are announced only a half-hour before they take effect, and racially profile as he does so! Don’t think I didn’t hear about how yesterday you sent out an alert in English saying curfew started at 5PM, and sent out an alert right after in Spanish saying it started at 6! What’s up with that, bud? All your cute Zoom background photos of the city won’t trick us into thinking you care about anyone but yourselves and what’s in your pockets. To close with a James Cameron quote, “Cops think of all non-cops as less than they are: stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people they are sworn to protect, and desensitize themselves in order to do that job.” That’s you pigs to a T. Black lives matter, act like it. Happy Tuesday.



This one was amazing. 
I’m also a big fan of this one- short and sweet 

[Video description: Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers set to 30 seconds. The current caller is Jeremy Frisch.]
Frisch: Hello can you hear me?
Woman: Hi, yes. 
Frisch [getting progressively louder and angrier]: Black lives matter, defund the police. I find it disgusting that the LAPD is slaughtering peaceful protestors on the street. I had two friends go to the protest in Beverly Hills a couple days ago and the protest was peaceful until the police showed up with their excessive violent force, shooting rubber bullets and throwing tear gas. 
[Frisch is now yelling] 
Is this what you think is protecting and serving? Because I think it’s bullshit! Fuck you Michael Moore! I refuse to call you an officer or a chief because you don’t deserve those titles. You are a disgrace! Suck my dick and choke on it! I yield my time. FUCK YOU!



Holy mother of FUCK they went off



Thank you, thank you thank you for transcribing this because I was in a position with my “neutral” family where I couldn’t listen. Thank you 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: wwwwyamd:
a-humble-waffle:


burn-brighter-than-fire:

oxfordcommaforever:

etanselian:

sexhaver:
the LAPD is having a town hall and getting fucking eviscerated
The automated YouTube captions are bad in places so here is a transcription of this incredible call.
[Video description: A Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers keeping them to two minutes. The current caller is Jon Barr.]
LAPC President Eileen Decker, responding to the question “can you hear me?”: Yes, we can.
Barr: Great. Uh, first things first: Chief Moore, you’ve got to do a better job of pretending you care about this, man. I’ve been watching you roll your eyes and offer halfhearted smirks acting like a teenager who’s falling asleep in detention. Are you not aware of the war crimes your department’s doing, or are you just that impatient to go do more of them? I see a lot of you, particularly Soboroff, only react when folks use profanity in their remarks. If you think curse words are bad, wait until you hear about these 600-plus murders your department has committed over the last seven years! As long as Moore’s out here equating peaceful protestors with cops who murder black people, you all could pretend to be as angry about murder as the F-word, okay kids? I know you’re all having a rough day, what with everyone here telling you you’re bad at your jobs. Have you considered being good at your jobs? If not, you could find new jobs in retail or restaurants. I know how desperate Garcetti is to get Angelenos consuming again during a global pandemic. Where were the curfews then, by the way? Weird. Chief Moore is morally obligated to resign. Mikey, I know you said you didn’t mean protestors are as much to blame for George Floyd’s murder as his murderers – that’s a lie! It is what you meant! And we all know it. Mikey’s made it clear in his racist actions and empty platitudes that he doesn’t care about the well-being of his constituents. He loves to tear gas them, blind them, force them indoors with curfews that are announced only a half-hour before they take effect, and racially profile as he does so! Don’t think I didn’t hear about how yesterday you sent out an alert in English saying curfew started at 5PM, and sent out an alert right after in Spanish saying it started at 6! What’s up with that, bud? All your cute Zoom background photos of the city won’t trick us into thinking you care about anyone but yourselves and what’s in your pockets. To close with a James Cameron quote, “Cops think of all non-cops as less than they are: stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people they are sworn to protect, and desensitize themselves in order to do that job.” That’s you pigs to a T. Black lives matter, act like it. Happy Tuesday.



This one was amazing. 
I’m also a big fan of this one- short and sweet 

[Video description: Zoom call featuring a video grid of seven attendees, all of whom are members of the Los Angeles Police Commission. There is a timer in the upper left corner for callers set to 30 seconds. The current caller is Jeremy Frisch.]
Frisch: Hello can you hear me?
Woman: Hi, yes. 
Frisch [getting progressively louder and angrier]: Black lives matter, defund the police. I find it disgusting that the LAPD is slaughtering peaceful protestors on the street. I had two friends go to the protest in Beverly Hills a couple days ago and the protest was peaceful until the police showed up with their excessive violent force, shooting rubber bullets and throwing tear gas. 
[Frisch is now yelling] 
Is this what you think is protecting and serving? Because I think it’s bullshit! Fuck you Michael Moore! I refuse to call you an officer or a chief because you don’t deserve those titles. You are a disgrace! Suck my dick and choke on it! I yield my time. FUCK YOU!



Holy mother of FUCK they went off



Thank you, thank you thank you for transcribing this because I was in a position with my “neutral” family where I couldn’t listen. Thank you 

                
                

                
            

            
            
wwwwyamd:
a-humble-waffle:


burn-brighter-than-fire:

oxfordcommaforever:

etanselian:

sexhaver:
the LAPD is having a town hall and get...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: essence-of-armbarring:sure you can buy an iphone x but for less than that you can buy every mainline Yakuza game and play them while dressed as Kiryu
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: essence-of-armbarring:sure you can buy an iphone x but for less than that you can buy every mainline Yakuza game and play them while dressed as Kiryu
                
            

            
            
essence-of-armbarring:sure you can buy an iphone x but for less than that you can buy every mainline Yakuza game and play them while dres...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: He’s turning 99 in less than 2 months
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: He’s turning 99 in less than 2 months
                
            

            
            
He’s turning 99 in less than 2 months

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: He’s turning 99 in less than 2 months by menovat
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: He’s turning 99 in less than 2 months by menovat
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
He’s turning 99 in less than 2 months by menovat
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020
                
            

            
            
No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020 by Neondarthal
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020 by Neondarthal
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020 by Neondarthal
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020
                
            

            
            
No work is less important, no worker is less than a fighter, happy international workers day 2020

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure falters slowly towards my truck, trembling gingerly on arthritic limbs in the icy winter air.His grey muzzle and sorrowful eyes tell a sad tale of many years of hunger, pain and despair. A faint and sorrowful whimper emits from his throat as he gazes beseechingly at my bountiful box of biscuits, hoping against hope that I might ease his pangs of hunger and grant him one more night of survival by sharing a small morsel of sustenance with him.My heartstrings taut with compassion, I dig deep into my biscuit box and gently place 4 biscuits into his quivering jowls, praying with all my might that I have arrived in time to prevent his imminent starvation.And then…the magic happens.Like Popeye eating his can of spinach, an incredible transformation suddenly takes place. He is cured! The pain in his limbs is gone! His eyes sparkle! In less than a second, strength and vigor have returned to his formerly weak and malnourished body! In one bound he leaps from the steps of the truck and proceeds to to zoomies all about the yard like a puppy 12 years his junior, his speed turning him into a veritable blur, before running into the house thru his dog door. Through the living room window I see him leap up onto his spot on the couch next to the woodstove, a veritable blizzard of biscuit crumbs flying all over the lap of his human as he chomps happily away at the bounty of goodness that I have bestowed upon him. With tears of joy in my eyes I proceed to drive away, feeling a solemn pride in the knowledge that my generosity has saved this once-suffering dog from what was most certainly an imminent death from starvation. And to those of you who claim that I have merely been bamboozled and bewitched out of biscuits by a canine con artist, I say this; I am a trained professional with years of experience. Do I REALLY look like a guy who could get manipulated out of treats by a mere dog?By Scott Hodges
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure falters slowly towards my truck, trembling gingerly on arthritic limbs in the icy winter air.His grey muzzle and sorrowful eyes tell a sad tale of many years of hunger, pain and despair. A faint and sorrowful whimper emits from his throat as he gazes beseechingly at my bountiful box of biscuits, hoping against hope that I might ease his pangs of hunger and grant him one more night of survival by sharing a small morsel of sustenance with him.My heartstrings taut with compassion, I dig deep into my biscuit box and gently place 4 biscuits into his quivering jowls, praying with all my might that I have arrived in time to prevent his imminent starvation.And then…the magic happens.Like Popeye eating his can of spinach, an incredible transformation suddenly takes place. He is cured! The pain in his limbs is gone! His eyes sparkle! In less than a second, strength and vigor have returned to his formerly weak and malnourished body! In one bound he leaps from the steps of the truck and proceeds to to zoomies all about the yard like a puppy 12 years his junior, his speed turning him into a veritable blur, before running into the house thru his dog door. Through the living room window I see him leap up onto his spot on the couch next to the woodstove, a veritable blizzard of biscuit crumbs flying all over the lap of his human as he chomps happily away at the bounty of goodness that I have bestowed upon him. With tears of joy in my eyes I proceed to drive away, feeling a solemn pride in the knowledge that my generosity has saved this once-suffering dog from what was most certainly an imminent death from starvation. And to those of you who claim that I have merely been bamboozled and bewitched out of biscuits by a canine con artist, I say this; I am a trained professional with years of experience. Do I REALLY look like a guy who could get manipulated out of treats by a mere dog?By Scott Hodges
                
            

            
            
ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure fal...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: Inevitable muscle pain because I spend 2 hours working out and less than 1 minute stretching.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #meme #gymaholic
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: Inevitable muscle pain because I spend 2 hours working out and less than 1 minute stretching.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #meme #gymaholic
                
            

            
            
Inevitable muscle pain because I spend 2 hours working out and less than 1 minute stretching.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: dynastylnoire:

writernotwaiting:

hellenhighwater:

astolen98saturnsedan:

luadell:

thisnewdevilry:

sputnikcentury:

teapotsahoy:

lovedsomuch:

warsfeils:

anubituf:

harukami:

last-snowfall:

weareallmedie:

firedanceryote:

reptila-tequila:

qeilla:

thefreckledavantgardegoober:

mysticmisfit89:

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”
like, fuck off with that

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING
Moose are terrifying, you guys.

I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.
I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.

If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah. 
Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month. 
Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.
Moose. MOOSE.

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.


Kaiju category: Maple.  


Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. 

@ssalogel

For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is 

4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant”

And they can run up to 40 miles per hour


A 16 wheeler with fur

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: dynastylnoire:

writernotwaiting:

hellenhighwater:

astolen98saturnsedan:

luadell:

thisnewdevilry:

sputnikcentury:

teapotsahoy:

lovedsomuch:

warsfeils:

anubituf:

harukami:

last-snowfall:

weareallmedie:

firedanceryote:

reptila-tequila:

qeilla:

thefreckledavantgardegoober:

mysticmisfit89:

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”
like, fuck off with that

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING
Moose are terrifying, you guys.

I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.
I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.

If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah. 
Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month. 
Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.
Moose. MOOSE.

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.


Kaiju category: Maple.  


Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. 

@ssalogel

For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is 

4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant”

And they can run up to 40 miles per hour


A 16 wheeler with fur

                
            

            
            
dynastylnoire:

writernotwaiting:

hellenhighwater:

astolen98saturnsedan:

luadell:

thisnewdevilry:

sputnikcentury:

teapotsahoy:

lov...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: derryderrydown:
thecringeandwincefactory:

meowren:

malchay:

So, I looked in the comments, expecting to see discourse or historical background etc, but I found none. Therefore, I decided to learn more and add background. Apparently this machine was used because of polio because polio paralyzes your lungs. According to the wiki article on this bad boy, patients would spend two weeks in there sometimes. They still have these machines, though much, much more modern but they’re barely used at all anymore: “In 1959, there were 1,200 people using tank respirators in the United States, but by 2004 there were only 39. By 2014, there were only 10 people left with an iron lung.” (x)

I’ve read about one man who still lives in an iron lung. He taught himself how to breathe again by gulping down air, but it’s quite laborious because of the paralysis. His name is Paul Alexander, and he’s a lawyer. He’s 71 years old and has spent 65 years in an iron lung. Wild, right? He’s been working on a memoir that he was inspired to write by the recent resurgence of cases of polio caused by anti-vaccers.
Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbc.ca/amp/1.4414081 (can’t hyperlink because I’m on mobile, apologies)

It’s amazing to me to recognize that we only defeated polio in this past century - that my mother’s father had it (he got lucky, it only deformed his feet and thereby kept him out of a couple wars); my mother got the big vaccination that left her upper arm scarred; and by the time I was vaccinated, polio basically didn’t exist. My grandfather must have been born like around 1900, so - in the space of less than 75 years, this was no longer something that parents dreaded the possibility of every summer.

In the 1950s, my mother would go to the corner shop. The owners had a daughter a few years older than my mum. She lived in an iron lung in the back of the shop.Vaccinate your fucking kids.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: derryderrydown:
thecringeandwincefactory:

meowren:

malchay:

So, I looked in the comments, expecting to see discourse or historical background etc, but I found none. Therefore, I decided to learn more and add background. Apparently this machine was used because of polio because polio paralyzes your lungs. According to the wiki article on this bad boy, patients would spend two weeks in there sometimes. They still have these machines, though much, much more modern but they’re barely used at all anymore: “In 1959, there were 1,200 people using tank respirators in the United States, but by 2004 there were only 39. By 2014, there were only 10 people left with an iron lung.” (x)

I’ve read about one man who still lives in an iron lung. He taught himself how to breathe again by gulping down air, but it’s quite laborious because of the paralysis. His name is Paul Alexander, and he’s a lawyer. He’s 71 years old and has spent 65 years in an iron lung. Wild, right? He’s been working on a memoir that he was inspired to write by the recent resurgence of cases of polio caused by anti-vaccers.
Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbc.ca/amp/1.4414081 (can’t hyperlink because I’m on mobile, apologies)

It’s amazing to me to recognize that we only defeated polio in this past century - that my mother’s father had it (he got lucky, it only deformed his feet and thereby kept him out of a couple wars); my mother got the big vaccination that left her upper arm scarred; and by the time I was vaccinated, polio basically didn’t exist. My grandfather must have been born like around 1900, so - in the space of less than 75 years, this was no longer something that parents dreaded the possibility of every summer.

In the 1950s, my mother would go to the corner shop. The owners had a daughter a few years older than my mum. She lived in an iron lung in the back of the shop.Vaccinate your fucking kids.

                
            

            
            
derryderrydown:
thecringeandwincefactory:

meowren:

malchay:

So, I looked in the comments, expecting to see discourse or historical bac...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: blackwitchmagicwoman:
auroraluciferi:

askmace:

scholarlyapproach:

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!
Listen in the past the poor have had to improvise cheap food the rich never wanted as a means to survive. And over the many years of innovation made the food taste good until eventually the rich where like: “Oh hay you actually like that garbage? Why on earth would you like it?” Then they try it, love it, start buying it, and then drive the price up so much it becomes a luxury good.
They do this and its devastating, the food typically never becomes affordable again. It don’t matter how cheap the foo dis to produce, it doesn’t matter if there is almost no meat on the bone or its super difficult to eat and messy. Once the poor discover how to make some bit of cheap food taste good, the rich take it away via driving the price of it up.
THEY DID THIS TO RIBS.
Ribs were garage meat. Just look at them, there is hardly any meat on the bone, you have to eat them by hand usually, and they are messy. They where an undesirable cheap source of junk meat. But the poor being the poor made them taste good. (Because they don’t have much to choose from.) The rich discovered the meals the poor made with them and decided they liked ribs too. People discovered they could sell a few ribs to rich people and make way more money then selling lots of ribs to poor people and the price was driven up.
DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!

They did the same to brisket.  You used to be able to get brisket for less than a dollar a pound, which meant you could get a twenty pound brisket fairly cheaply.  And then you smoked it, sliced it, and had meat for weeks if not a full month.  And it was tasty.  I grew up eating brisket at least once a month because my family could afford it.
It was a cheap meat because no rich person looks at the dangly part of the neck of a cow and goes ‘ooh, that looks tasty!’.
But then Food Network started showcasing things like barbecued brisket.  Rich people started showing up at places that weren’t just Rib Crib to get their barbeque.  And the price of brisket went up.  A lot.
I regularly see it for over five dollars a pound in stores now.  And while yeah, that might not seem like a lot when you’re talking only a pound or two of meat, brisket is normally sold in ten to twenty pound sizes.  It’s become completely unaffordable to the people that made it delicious.
Sushi used to be really cheap, too, until it became ‘trendy’.  Guess why you’re now paying twelve dollars for your order of California rolls?  Because rich people discovered something that poor people had been eating for ages.
Noticed the prices of fajita meat, chicken thighs, or ham hocks has gone up recently?  You guessed it.  Rich people are taking our food and now we’re scrambling to afford the things that we grew up eating.

Lobster is a perfect example of this phenomenon. For hundreds of years, lobster was regarded as a sort of insect larvae from the depth of the sea. It had zero appeal as a “luxury food” until people living in NY and Boston developed a taste for it. Before the 19th century, it was considered a “poverty food” or used as fertilizer and bait - some household servants specified in employment agreements that they would not eat lobster more than twice a week.It was also commonly served at prisons, which tells you something about prison food.
Only by cleverly marketing lobster as an indulgence for the privileged made it cost so much. It became a vehicle for enormous profit spawning a multi-billion dollar global industry in the process. This mythical affection for lobster flesh - not its practical value in terms of taste, nutrition, or any other reasonable consideration - drives its value. 



LMAO. Wait. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: blackwitchmagicwoman:
auroraluciferi:

askmace:

scholarlyapproach:

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!
Listen in the past the poor have had to improvise cheap food the rich never wanted as a means to survive. And over the many years of innovation made the food taste good until eventually the rich where like: “Oh hay you actually like that garbage? Why on earth would you like it?” Then they try it, love it, start buying it, and then drive the price up so much it becomes a luxury good.
They do this and its devastating, the food typically never becomes affordable again. It don’t matter how cheap the foo dis to produce, it doesn’t matter if there is almost no meat on the bone or its super difficult to eat and messy. Once the poor discover how to make some bit of cheap food taste good, the rich take it away via driving the price of it up.
THEY DID THIS TO RIBS.
Ribs were garage meat. Just look at them, there is hardly any meat on the bone, you have to eat them by hand usually, and they are messy. They where an undesirable cheap source of junk meat. But the poor being the poor made them taste good. (Because they don’t have much to choose from.) The rich discovered the meals the poor made with them and decided they liked ribs too. People discovered they could sell a few ribs to rich people and make way more money then selling lots of ribs to poor people and the price was driven up.
DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!

They did the same to brisket.  You used to be able to get brisket for less than a dollar a pound, which meant you could get a twenty pound brisket fairly cheaply.  And then you smoked it, sliced it, and had meat for weeks if not a full month.  And it was tasty.  I grew up eating brisket at least once a month because my family could afford it.
It was a cheap meat because no rich person looks at the dangly part of the neck of a cow and goes ‘ooh, that looks tasty!’.
But then Food Network started showcasing things like barbecued brisket.  Rich people started showing up at places that weren’t just Rib Crib to get their barbeque.  And the price of brisket went up.  A lot.
I regularly see it for over five dollars a pound in stores now.  And while yeah, that might not seem like a lot when you’re talking only a pound or two of meat, brisket is normally sold in ten to twenty pound sizes.  It’s become completely unaffordable to the people that made it delicious.
Sushi used to be really cheap, too, until it became ‘trendy’.  Guess why you’re now paying twelve dollars for your order of California rolls?  Because rich people discovered something that poor people had been eating for ages.
Noticed the prices of fajita meat, chicken thighs, or ham hocks has gone up recently?  You guessed it.  Rich people are taking our food and now we’re scrambling to afford the things that we grew up eating.

Lobster is a perfect example of this phenomenon. For hundreds of years, lobster was regarded as a sort of insect larvae from the depth of the sea. It had zero appeal as a “luxury food” until people living in NY and Boston developed a taste for it. Before the 19th century, it was considered a “poverty food” or used as fertilizer and bait - some household servants specified in employment agreements that they would not eat lobster more than twice a week.It was also commonly served at prisons, which tells you something about prison food.
Only by cleverly marketing lobster as an indulgence for the privileged made it cost so much. It became a vehicle for enormous profit spawning a multi-billion dollar global industry in the process. This mythical affection for lobster flesh - not its practical value in terms of taste, nutrition, or any other reasonable consideration - drives its value. 



LMAO. Wait. 

                
            

            
            
blackwitchmagicwoman:
auroraluciferi:

askmace:

scholarlyapproach:

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!
Listen in the past the poor have...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 ....
 ......
 Jake, 27
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 We may fight, but please don't try and solve
 the argument with regular soda.
 It won't take racial inequality to get me down
 on one knee.
 I prefer diet; we both know you are all the
 sugar I need.
 niftyshadesofjake
 University of Southern California
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 3,401
 FRESHME
 0% ganted
 Ethically
 granted
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 Jake, 29
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 I'm having trouble picking a costume.
 Want to help?
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting.
 Swipe right if you are a fan of getting
 boned.
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 ..
 let
 6'0"
 A Caded in
 5'6"
 5'0"
 your cave of wonders
 POLICE DEPT.
 4'6"
 (480) 627-9186
 4'0"
 Yes Please
 Jake Arredondo
 3'6"
 Jake, 29
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 Tired of guys lying about their height?
 Here is government proof I am at least 6ft.
 I promise that it will take more than
 a few rubs for anything to come out
 of my magic lamp.
 For our first date, you cook our dinner,
 and I will cook the meth.
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 You ok
 Jake, 29
 Still
 Single
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell).
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should
 probably start taking dating seriously.
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart.
 If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just
 swipe left.
 This is the first one I had
 ever created (bad quality).
 This joke took 1,000+ hours
 to máke.
 niftyshadesofjake
 et niftyshadesofjake
 Hmargemadders.com
 Make America Accessible Again
 Jake, 24
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 About Jake
 I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated
 by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my
 new company, Largeladders.com
 If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No
 socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk
 gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me
 to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and
 you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the
 envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want
 me to pay for dinner
 Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new
 ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into
 your arms.
It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 ....
 ......
 Jake, 27
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 We may fight, but please don't try and solve
 the argument with regular soda.
 It won't take racial inequality to get me down
 on one knee.
 I prefer diet; we both know you are all the
 sugar I need.
 niftyshadesofjake
 University of Southern California
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 3,401
 FRESHME
 0% ganted
 Ethically
 granted
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 Jake, 29
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 I'm having trouble picking a costume.
 Want to help?
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting.
 Swipe right if you are a fan of getting
 boned.
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 ..
 let
 6'0"
 A Caded in
 5'6"
 5'0"
 your cave of wonders
 POLICE DEPT.
 4'6"
 (480) 627-9186
 4'0"
 Yes Please
 Jake Arredondo
 3'6"
 Jake, 29
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 Tired of guys lying about their height?
 Here is government proof I am at least 6ft.
 I promise that it will take more than
 a few rubs for anything to come out
 of my magic lamp.
 For our first date, you cook our dinner,
 and I will cook the meth.
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 You ok
 Jake, 29
 Still
 Single
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell).
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should
 probably start taking dating seriously.
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart.
 If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just
 swipe left.
 This is the first one I had
 ever created (bad quality).
 This joke took 1,000+ hours
 to máke.
 niftyshadesofjake
 et niftyshadesofjake
 Hmargemadders.com
 Make America Accessible Again
 Jake, 24
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 About Jake
 I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated
 by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my
 new company, Largeladders.com
 If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No
 socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk
 gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me
 to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and
 you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the
 envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want
 me to pay for dinner
 Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new
 ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into
 your arms.
It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.
                
            

            
            
It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
                
            

            
            
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    Less Than: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Dating Apps Premium
 2019 WRAPPED
 You have spent some serious time being
 single. Here is how much time you have
 spent on dating apps over the last 5 years.
 Let's hope you are single due to your
 personality, because the alternative is
 you are ugly.
 Top Dates
 Sarah S.
 Top Lies You Told Girls
 Your cat is cute
 69,617
 mins
 I love The Office
 I'm only talking to you
 I rarely drink
 You aren't like the other girls
 Laura T.
 Samantha R.
 Melissa R.
 103,648
 mins
 Stephanie M.
 53,011
 107,107
 Top Hair Color
 Minutes on Dates
 mins
 118,659
 mins
 mins
 3,600
 Brunette
 2017
 2019
 2018
 2016
 2015
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 In perfect harmony
 You were pretty desperate.
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 You discovered 304 new girls
 this year. But you really didn't
 vibe with anyone.
 3,401
 0% anted
 You didn't swipe right on one specific type of girl.
 Below is what you look for most in a match.
 Ethically
 FRESHME
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 You created 38 new profile pictures,
 watched 4 girls report you for being
 inappropriate, and spent 65 hours
 debating if you should give up on
 dating and get a dog.
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Has a pulse
 and will give
 you attention.
 Cute
 Face
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 Little
 Waist
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell),
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 Big
 Behind
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Good
 Personality
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 Ladies, if I can do this to Leo, imagine
 what I can do to you.
 :
A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Less Than: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Dating Apps Premium
 2019 WRAPPED
 You have spent some serious time being
 single. Here is how much time you have
 spent on dating apps over the last 5 years.
 Let's hope you are single due to your
 personality, because the alternative is
 you are ugly.
 Top Dates
 Sarah S.
 Top Lies You Told Girls
 Your cat is cute
 69,617
 mins
 I love The Office
 I'm only talking to you
 I rarely drink
 You aren't like the other girls
 Laura T.
 Samantha R.
 Melissa R.
 103,648
 mins
 Stephanie M.
 53,011
 107,107
 Top Hair Color
 Minutes on Dates
 mins
 118,659
 mins
 mins
 3,600
 Brunette
 2017
 2019
 2018
 2016
 2015
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 In perfect harmony
 You were pretty desperate.
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 You discovered 304 new girls
 this year. But you really didn't
 vibe with anyone.
 3,401
 0% anted
 You didn't swipe right on one specific type of girl.
 Below is what you look for most in a match.
 Ethically
 FRESHME
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 You created 38 new profile pictures,
 watched 4 girls report you for being
 inappropriate, and spent 65 hours
 debating if you should give up on
 dating and get a dog.
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Has a pulse
 and will give
 you attention.
 Cute
 Face
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 Little
 Waist
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell),
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 Big
 Behind
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Good
 Personality
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 Ladies, if I can do this to Leo, imagine
 what I can do to you.
 :
A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”
                
            

            
            
A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”