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momentous

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Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me
 5:01 PM
 I just got back from my school
 and they said they cannot give
 me any aid except for
 unsubsidised loans unless l
 have a child, get married, or
 turn 24, so I have to get married
 Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a
 better fafsa application too
 Wait seriously
 Would you really do it
 Im doing actual research on it

 Are we doing this
 It would have to happen like
 lightning fast cause my next
 semester happens pretty
 damn soon
 I don't know how fast this
 happens lemme check
 Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get
 a marriage license which can be
 up to $30 depending on where we
 get it, and THEN we need to file
 for a marriage certificate
 I'm an ordained minister but idk if
 I could file my own marriage
 certificate

 get ordained and do it
 Can we go to Indiana?
 Let me check
 Dude Im so excited
 Its possible that I can get
 FAFSA to pay for an entire
 apartment for me to go to
 school in Milwaukee
 DUDE WHAT
 Okay so there's no minister
 registration required in lllinois so

 Yeah I'm looking that up right
 now
 Ive heard that if one partner
 commits adultery, thats
 grounds for a quicker divorce
 Yeah this sample form I'm
 looking at says "irretrievable
 breakdown" of marriage
 Worse comes to worse we can
 stage a fight but I think we can
 just say yeah it's not working out
 Does it include adultery

 divorce ranging from $15,000
 to $30,000. Most of this money
 is spent on legal fees.
 So Fuck lawyers
 We don't need a lawyer
 We don't have kids we don't have
 property to divide up
 Oh thats only for a lawyer
 We don't have alimony to
 negotiate
 We're just two guys being dudes.
 Gettin a divorce
portraitofemmy:

possiblestoner:

marzipanandminutiae:

A. imagine your otp
B. dear gods this country has massive issues

I’ve been looking for this post for ages

listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.

portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking ...

Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me
 5:01 PM
 I just got back from my school
 and they said they cannot give
 me any aid except for
 unsubsidised loans unless l
 have a child, get married, or
 turn 24, so I have to get married
 Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a
 better fafsa application too
 Wait seriously
 Would you really do it
 Im doing actual research on it

 Are we doing this
 It would have to happen like
 lightning fast cause my next
 semester happens pretty
 damn soon
 I don't know how fast this
 happens lemme check
 Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get
 a marriage license which can be
 up to $30 depending on where we
 get it, and THEN we need to file
 for a marriage certificate
 I'm an ordained minister but idk if
 I could file my own marriage
 certificate

 get ordained and do it
 Can we go to Indiana?
 Let me check
 Dude Im so excited
 Its possible that I can get
 FAFSA to pay for an entire
 apartment for me to go to
 school in Milwaukee
 DUDE WHAT
 Okay so there's no minister
 registration required in lllinois so

 Yeah I'm looking that up right
 now
 Ive heard that if one partner
 commits adultery, thats
 grounds for a quicker divorce
 Yeah this sample form I'm
 looking at says "irretrievable
 breakdown" of marriage
 Worse comes to worse we can
 stage a fight but I think we can
 just say yeah it's not working out
 Does it include adultery

 divorce ranging from $15,000
 to $30,000. Most of this money
 is spent on legal fees.
 So Fuck lawyers
 We don't need a lawyer
 We don't have kids we don't have
 property to divide up
 Oh thats only for a lawyer
 We don't have alimony to
 negotiate
 We're just two guys being dudes.
 Gettin a divorce
portraitofemmy:

possiblestoner:

marzipanandminutiae:

A. imagine your otp
B. dear gods this country has massive issues

I’ve been looking for this post for ages

listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.

portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking ...

Crazy, Driving, and Fire: ceasarslegion Reporter in the Marvel unviverse: Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego "Iron Man," under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving by an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting "I love sucking [expletive for male genitalia]" out of the open window. purgatoryandme A+ Concept, I love it, I'm dying, it's too good. It becomes the hottest new meme throughout the US. Every single time there's some homophobic rally, Hell, every time there's a rally held by homophobes whether or not the rally was ABOUT homophobia there's now teens doing drive-by's being like "Ahem, this one is for Tony Stark ILOVE SUCKING [expletive for male genitalia]". The meme keeps escalating as people find newer and funnier ways to bleep out what they are saying in real time and on Vine. The most popular way? The sound of a repulser charging up The whole thing drives homophobes crazy. They hate it so much, it literally has some people trying to create their own counter meme ("I love sucking UP TO JESUS") that goes very very badly (exactly how you'd expect). So, out of options, they try to sue Tony. Everybody should know better than to sue Tony. His lawyers tear them apart. There's an unholy grin on Tony's face during the entire publicized case - he's in a rainbow suit. He's in rainbow shades. He's wearing a harness over his suit and his shoes literally leave glitter footprints everywhere he goes. His tie says "I love sucking [REPULSER NOISE]. Twitter goes nuts. A still of Tony from the trial, one where he is sarcastically blowing pink glitter into the face of a woman trying to hit him with a picket sign, becomes a reaction image nobody can resist. You wanna represent how tired you are of homophobic comments? That's your image. It's usually coupled by one of Rhodey in the background, military dress uniform smeared in glitter and a blatant glittery kiss mark pressed to his cheek, staring at the ceiling and praying for death this is canon now
Crazy, Driving, and Fire: ceasarslegion
 Reporter in the Marvel unviverse:
 Anthony Stark, well-known as a
 generous philanthropist, the CEO of
 Stark Industries, and his alter-ego
 "Iron Man," under fire today after
 a controversial video he posted to
 his personal Vine account went
 viral. The short footage showed
 Stark in the passenger seat of a
 car, driving by an anti-homosexual
 rally, repeatedly shouting "I love
 sucking [expletive for male
 genitalia]" out of the open window.
 purgatoryandme
 A+ Concept, I love it, I'm dying, it's too good.
 It becomes the hottest new meme throughout
 the US. Every single time there's some
 homophobic rally, Hell, every time there's a rally
 held by homophobes whether or not the rally
 was ABOUT homophobia there's now teens
 doing drive-by's being like "Ahem, this one is
 for Tony Stark ILOVE SUCKING [expletive for
 male genitalia]". The meme keeps escalating
 as people find newer and funnier ways to bleep
 out what they are saying in real time and on
 Vine. The most popular way? The sound of a
 repulser charging up
 The whole thing drives homophobes crazy.
 They hate it so much, it literally has some
 people trying to create their own counter meme
 ("I love sucking UP TO JESUS") that goes very
 very badly (exactly how you'd expect). So, out
 of options, they try to sue Tony.
 Everybody should know better than to sue
 Tony.
 His lawyers tear them apart. There's an unholy
 grin on Tony's face during the entire publicized
 case - he's in a rainbow suit. He's in rainbow
 shades. He's wearing a harness over his suit
 and his shoes literally leave glitter footprints
 everywhere he goes. His tie says "I love
 sucking [REPULSER NOISE]. Twitter goes nuts.
 A still of Tony from the trial, one where he is
 sarcastically blowing pink glitter into the face of
 a woman trying to hit him with a picket sign,
 becomes a reaction image nobody can resist.
 You wanna represent how tired you are of
 homophobic comments? That's your image. It's
 usually coupled by one of Rhodey in the
 background, military dress uniform smeared in
 glitter and a blatant glittery kiss mark pressed
 to his cheek, staring at the ceiling and praying
 for death
this is canon now

this is canon now

Anaconda, Spider, and SpiderMan: SO YOU'RE SAYING EVERY TIME GARGAN OR BROCK HAS BEEN INCARCERATED- 5 -WHILE BONDED WITH THIS ALIEN CREATURE, THEY'VE BEEN PERMITTED TO KEEP IT ON THEIR PERSON?! YES! EVEN THOUGH WE'VE KNOWN WE COULD REMOVE IT WITH SONIC BLASTS! BLAME THE ACLU AND PETA! THEY LOBBIED FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE SYMBIOTE! UNBELIEVABLE! WHY NOT LET HIM CARRY A LOADED FIREARM WHILE THEY'RE AT IT?! symbisexual-disaster: cassowarykisses: Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Blame the ACLU and PETA! They lobbied for the rights of the symbiote! on a meta level, this is an attempt by the writers to come up with an in-universe reason for Venom never being broken up into human symbiote when they’ve been arrested (and also take a dig at the ACLU and PETA) but in-universe? the raw implications of the ACLU having a successful symbiote rights campaign that happens entirely offscreen and is never mentioned again?  when did this campaign happen?  who spearheaded it? Eddie did date two lawyers (Anne Weying and Beck Underwood) - were they involved in any capacity? did the ACLU actually sue on behalf of the symbiote? if so, what judge presided over this? what new fields of case law have been opened up by this? what existing case law is there in the Marvel universe for the rights of mutants and extraterrestrials? who were the witnesses in this case? even if it never went to court and was a 100% an ACLU campaign to get people to appeal to their representatives on behalf of symbiotes, you could still have expert witnesses called to Congress. you probably can’t subpoena Spider-Man, since his identity isn’t public, but what about Reed Richards (since he had the symbiote in captivity at least once)? what about various prison therapists and case managers? Matt Murdock, since he represented Venom in the Venom: On Trial miniseries? there is an entire court drama waiting to be written here and this throwaway line will never be touched on again This is insane hahaha That awkward moment when a comic universe PETA is more progressive than the real one.
Anaconda, Spider, and SpiderMan: SO YOU'RE
 SAYING EVERY
 TIME GARGAN OR
 BROCK HAS BEEN
 INCARCERATED-
 5
 -WHILE
 BONDED WITH THIS
 ALIEN CREATURE,
 THEY'VE BEEN
 PERMITTED TO KEEP
 IT ON THEIR
 PERSON?!
 YES! EVEN
 THOUGH WE'VE
 KNOWN WE COULD
 REMOVE IT
 WITH SONIC
 BLASTS!
 BLAME THE
 ACLU AND PETA!
 THEY LOBBIED FOR
 THE RIGHTS OF
 THE SYMBIOTE!
 UNBELIEVABLE!
 WHY NOT LET HIM
 CARRY A LOADED
 FIREARM WHILE
 THEY'RE
 AT IT?!
symbisexual-disaster:
cassowarykisses:

Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Blame the ACLU and PETA! They lobbied for the rights of the symbiote!
on a meta level, this is an attempt by the writers to come up with an in-universe reason for Venom never being broken up into human  symbiote when they’ve been arrested (and also take a dig at the ACLU and PETA)
but in-universe? the raw implications of the ACLU having a successful symbiote rights campaign that happens entirely offscreen and is never mentioned again? 
when did this campaign happen? 
who spearheaded it? Eddie did date two lawyers (Anne Weying and Beck Underwood) - were they involved in any capacity?
did the ACLU actually sue on behalf of the symbiote? if so, what judge presided over this? what new fields of case law have been opened up by this? what existing case law is there in the Marvel universe for the rights of mutants and extraterrestrials?
who were the witnesses in this case? even if it never went to court and was a 100% an ACLU campaign to get people to appeal to their representatives on behalf of symbiotes, you could still have expert witnesses called to Congress. you probably can’t subpoena Spider-Man, since his identity isn’t public, but what about Reed Richards (since he had the symbiote in captivity at least once)? what about various prison therapists and case managers? Matt Murdock, since he represented Venom in the Venom: On Trial miniseries?
there is an entire court drama waiting to be written here and this throwaway line will never be touched on again

This is insane hahaha

That awkward moment when a comic universe PETA is more progressive than the real one.

symbisexual-disaster: cassowarykisses: Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Bl...

America, Anaconda, and Cards Against Humanity: GAINST F SAVES A MERICA DAY THRE Dear Citizen, In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country's biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90% our lawyers wouldn't let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich Cards Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest people and live in their houses so we settled for something more achievable. Today recipients and sent them each a check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these people's lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check. You got nothing. And if you don't like it, tough titties love you, Cards Against Humanity My money stolen by Cards Against Humanity and redistributed to people poorer than me. Oh shit! I just got SAGAINSTHUMANITYSAVESA Cards Against Humanity Cards Against Humanity raspberrymama: viewtiful-kim: solluxisms: systlin: strutsonicely: tomyfancy: systlin: I’M DYING Day 3 of 5 “Dear Citizen, In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%. Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth. Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check. You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties. I love you, Cards Against Humanity” I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor. Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it.  I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death. “We’re Just Being regular correct” D A M I stan one (1) card game
America, Anaconda, and Cards Against Humanity: GAINST F
 SAVES A MERICA
 DAY
 THRE
 Dear Citizen,
 In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our
 country's biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much
 wealth as the bottom 90%
 our lawyers wouldn't let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich
 Cards Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth
 Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest
 people and live in their houses so we settled for something more achievable. Today
 recipients and sent them each a check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting
 these people's lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com
 The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
 You got nothing. And if you don't like it, tough titties
 love you,
 Cards Against Humanity
 My money stolen
 by Cards Against
 Humanity and
 redistributed to
 people poorer
 than me.
 Oh shit! I just got
 SAGAINSTHUMANITYSAVESA
 Cards Against Humanity
 Cards Against Humanity
raspberrymama:

viewtiful-kim:


solluxisms:

systlin:

strutsonicely:

tomyfancy:

systlin:
I’M DYING
Day 3 of 5
“Dear Citizen,
In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.
Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.
I love you,
Cards Against Humanity”


I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor. 

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death.


“We’re Just Being regular correct” D A M


I stan one (1) card game

raspberrymama: viewtiful-kim: solluxisms: systlin: strutsonicely: tomyfancy: systlin: I’M DYING Day 3 of 5 “Dear Citizen, In order to...