don
don

don

love me
 love me

love me

ignore me
 ignore me

ignore me

did
did

did

Han Solo
Han Solo

Han Solo

Know Someone
Know Someone

Know Someone

imgflip
imgflip

imgflip

It Alls
It Alls

It Alls

Hes Right
Hes Right

Hes Right

Life
Life

Life

🔥 | Latest

know: I’m so angry. But I know. My anger is not enough. by Grunge_bob MORE MEMES
 know: I’m so angry. But I know. My anger is not enough. by Grunge_bob
MORE MEMES

I’m so angry. But I know. My anger is not enough. by Grunge_bob MORE MEMES

know: I’m so angry. But I know. My anger is not enough.
 know: I’m so angry. But I know. My anger is not enough.

I’m so angry. But I know. My anger is not enough.

know: ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-gaudiest-fish: lipsredasroses: mayothefirst: madamehearthwitch: thegrimmlovely: riskpig: endangeredslug: riskpig: teamseabreeze: recycled-soul: skywritingg: iloveyournudity: cuntsoloud-ishere: pizzaforpresident: This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!! This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes. WHAT? The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read. WHAT????? Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books? Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies. https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL This is very true lol Yo what the f u c k not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing. What the fuck I’m ace but here you guys go
 know: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-...

know: This will be my child I just know it. by hoodmonalisuh MORE MEMES
 know: This will be my child I just know it. by hoodmonalisuh
MORE MEMES

This will be my child I just know it. by hoodmonalisuh MORE MEMES

know: Polish soldier: “Didn’t know I needed this but thanks”
 know: Polish soldier: “Didn’t know I needed this but thanks”

Polish soldier: “Didn’t know I needed this but thanks”

know: This will be my child I just know it.
 know: This will be my child I just know it.

This will be my child I just know it.

know: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.   Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. Of course it is FUCK YOU GW
 know: feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

feniczoroark:

randomnightlord:

a-40k-author:

The Judiciar.

A Judiciar is not only a supernal swordsman, able to cut down foes with but a single blow of his brutal-looking executioner relic blade, but he has an all-new item of esoteric wargear – the tempormortis. You don’t need to be an expert in High Gothic to know that this means it’s something he can use to manipulate time and ensure the death of his quarry.  


Now this is just straight up unfair for all other players


Yep. Knowing gw they’ll use it to kill of all named xenos characters so they don’t have to make the buts for them and can free more space to making marines to wank off marines more


We’re all just waiting for Cato Shitarius to kill the Necron bossbot and then become primarisGW is so fucking DUMB. And so are those specific Space Marine famboys that are complaining that their new shit looks ridiculous. BE HAPPY THAT YOU EVEN GET ANYTHING POSTER BOY. 


The only complaint by marine fans I’ve seen that actually has merit was about the “what the fuck is going on with assault intercessors” (Given usually “assault marines” have jump packs and these ones don’t (which I suppose also makes them useless for conversions))And I would like Cato to perrish


Wait. THAT JUDICATOR IS A FUCKING ULTRAMARINE TOO. 


Of course it is


FUCK YOU GW

feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: feniczoroark: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The Judiciar. A Judici...

know: I dont know who else saw this…
 know: I dont know who else saw this…

I dont know who else saw this…

know: Did you know? by TFGIV MORE MEMES
 know: Did you know? by TFGIV
MORE MEMES

Did you know? by TFGIV MORE MEMES

know: I don’t know who complained, but I’m still gonna thank them.
 know: I don’t know who complained, but I’m still gonna thank them.

I don’t know who complained, but I’m still gonna thank them.

know: “Aang, I know it hurts but we must move on.”
 know: “Aang, I know it hurts but we must move on.”

“Aang, I know it hurts but we must move on.”

know: He’s not wrong, you know…
 know: He’s not wrong, you know…

He’s not wrong, you know…

know: when you know your priorities
 know: when you know your priorities

when you know your priorities

know: I don’t know why I got arrested by i_eatbabies MORE MEMES
 know: I don’t know why I got arrested by i_eatbabies
MORE MEMES

I don’t know why I got arrested by i_eatbabies MORE MEMES

know: I don’t know why I got arrested
 know: I don’t know why I got arrested

I don’t know why I got arrested

know: I know it all. by anikghoshal MORE MEMES
 know: I know it all. by anikghoshal
MORE MEMES

I know it all. by anikghoshal MORE MEMES

know: omg-humor: Know your place trash
 know: omg-humor:

Know your place trash

omg-humor: Know your place trash

know: I don’t know if it’s already here or not, my friend sent this. But if anyone needs to see this…
 know: I don’t know if it’s already here or not, my friend sent this. But if anyone needs to see this…

I don’t know if it’s already here or not, my friend sent this. But if anyone needs to see this…

know: Little does she know I keep $3 worth of nickels in the pillowcase
 know: Little does she know I keep $3 worth of nickels in the pillowcase

Little does she know I keep $3 worth of nickels in the pillowcase

know: what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.” The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent “I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.
 know: what-even-is-thiss:

bobcatdump:

jaskiegg:

mellomaia:

aphony-cree:

beyoncescock:

gahdamnpunk:

Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making


THANK YOU

I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.”
The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner
If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents 
People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings

Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents.
When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. 
I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.



God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent

“I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this



The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. 
A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”
I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future.
Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that.
My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad.
To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time.
It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.

what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

know: I don’t know who was more surprised
 know: I don’t know who was more surprised

I don’t know who was more surprised

know: “My old girl is still up and running at 15 years old - I give her the biggest hugs and tell her she’s loved every single day because I will never know when she decides it’s time 🖤“ (via)
 know: “My old girl is still up and running at 15 years old - I give her the biggest hugs and tell her she’s loved every single day because I will never know when she decides it’s time 🖤“ (via)

“My old girl is still up and running at 15 years old - I give her the biggest hugs and tell her she’s loved every single day because I wi...

know: y’all know what it reminds you of.
 know: y’all know what it reminds you of.

y’all know what it reminds you of.

know: Doggy has asthma and requires multiple nebulizations. But as long as he has his ducky with him, he know he is gonna be ok. (via)
 know: Doggy has asthma and requires multiple nebulizations. But as long as he has his ducky with him, he know he is gonna be ok. (via)

Doggy has asthma and requires multiple nebulizations. But as long as he has his ducky with him, he know he is gonna be ok. (via)

know: dont know if this is a true spongebob meme but i thought it was funny
 know: dont know if this is a true spongebob meme but i thought it was funny

dont know if this is a true spongebob meme but i thought it was funny

know: dreamsofamadman: somethingaboutdelia: cryingalonewithfrankenstein: This photo always cheers me up a bit. It’s a front-page article from 1955 about Christine Jorgensen, one of the first women to have sex-reassignment surgery. Since the text is a bit small and I couldn’t find a larger copy, here’s what the small blurb says: A World of a Difference George W. Jorgensen, Jr., son of a Bronx carpenter, served in the Army for two years and was given honorable discharge in 1946. Now George is no more. After six operations, Jorgensen’s sex has been changed and today she is a striking woman, working as a photographer in Denmark. Parents were informed of the big change in a letter Christine (that’s her new name) sent to them recently. This article is 58 years old, and it’s more respectful of Christine’s pronoun choices and name than some publications are today. It makes me happy to see a newspaper be respectful of a trans person’s choice of name and pronouns like that :3 Say it again for the haters in the back who want to keep pretending that trans people, or even treating trans people with respect is even remotely anything new. 😎 It’s worth mentioning, that this was kinda celebrated as a wonder of the atomic age at the time. “Look at the power of our scientists! Look at what we can do!”You know, back when America was trying to be the leader in scientific advancement.
 know: dreamsofamadman:

somethingaboutdelia:

cryingalonewithfrankenstein:

This photo always cheers me up a bit. It’s a front-page article from 1955 about Christine Jorgensen, one of the first women to have sex-reassignment surgery.
Since the text is a bit small and I couldn’t find a larger copy, here’s what the small blurb says:
A World of a Difference

George W. Jorgensen, Jr., son of a Bronx carpenter, served in the Army for two years and was given honorable discharge in 1946. Now George is no more. After six operations, Jorgensen’s sex has been changed and today she is a striking woman, working as a photographer in Denmark. Parents were informed of the big change in a letter Christine (that’s her new name) sent to them recently.

This article is 58 years old, and it’s more respectful of Christine’s pronoun choices and name than some publications are today. It makes me happy to see a newspaper be respectful of a trans person’s choice of name and pronouns like that :3

Say it again for the haters in the back who want to keep pretending that trans people, or even treating trans people with respect is even remotely anything new. 😎

It’s worth mentioning, that this was kinda celebrated as a wonder of the atomic age at the time. “Look at the power of our scientists! Look at what we can do!”You know, back when America was trying to be the leader in scientific advancement.

dreamsofamadman: somethingaboutdelia: cryingalonewithfrankenstein: This photo always cheers me up a bit. It’s a front-page article fro...

know: I don’t know who was more surprised
 know: I don’t know who was more surprised

I don’t know who was more surprised

know: takingbackourculture: Native Americans dancing around a dethroned Columbus statue was the content I didn’t know I needed today
 know: takingbackourculture:
Native Americans dancing around a dethroned Columbus statue was the content I didn’t know I needed today

takingbackourculture: Native Americans dancing around a dethroned Columbus statue was the content I didn’t know I needed today

know: it’s important to know how to use your finger
 know: it’s important to know how to use your finger

it’s important to know how to use your finger

know: takingbackourculture: Native Americans dancing around a dethroned Columbus statue was the content I didn’t know I needed today
 know: takingbackourculture:
Native Americans dancing around a dethroned Columbus statue was the content I didn’t know I needed today

takingbackourculture: Native Americans dancing around a dethroned Columbus statue was the content I didn’t know I needed today

know: I know what I’m ordering.
 know: I know what I’m ordering.

I know what I’m ordering.

know: I know what I’m ordering.
 know: I know what I’m ordering.

I know what I’m ordering.

know: sindri42: d0cpr0fess0r: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: strixobscuro: softjunebreeze: knowledgeequalsblackpower: paulwalkersdogwalker: buttcheekpalmkang: hersheyhipster: Do Your Fucking Research *Nicki Minaj Voice* Wow… Lmao. Some people threw white paint on it a few years back. They want to be a victim so bad. Fun Fact: That’s a statue of the fist which Joe Louis used to knock out Max Schmeling, Hitler’s favored heavyweight boxer in 1938. Schmeling won the 1st bout by knockout in round twelve, but Joe Louis came back in the follow-up match and laid him the fuck out in the 1st round. Fun Fact: Schmeling was hated by the Nazis for losing to a black man and for having a Jewish manager, and he hated them right back, stating in 1975 that he was glad he’d lost the fight because the thought of  the Nazis using him for propaganda purposes sickened him. He also personally saved the lives of two Jewish children and later became lifelong friends with Joe Louis. So maybe don’t refer to him as “Hitler’s favored heavyweight boxer”… Thank you for this additional info! Reblogging this for the added facts and so people know that Schmeling wasn’t a Nazi or Nazi collaborator and was in fact a good man Imagine hating Nazis so much that when you get beaten up your response is “Good, now they can’t use me as a role model.” As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s fist.
 know: sindri42:

d0cpr0fess0r:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

strixobscuro:

softjunebreeze:

knowledgeequalsblackpower:

paulwalkersdogwalker:


buttcheekpalmkang:


hersheyhipster:

Do Your Fucking Research *Nicki Minaj Voice*



Wow… Lmao.


Some people threw white paint on it a few years back.


They want to be a victim so bad.

Fun Fact: That’s a statue of the fist which Joe Louis used to knock out Max Schmeling, Hitler’s favored heavyweight boxer in 1938. Schmeling won the 1st bout by knockout in round twelve, but Joe Louis came back in the follow-up match and laid him the fuck out in the 1st round.

Fun Fact: Schmeling was hated by the Nazis for losing to a black man and for having a Jewish manager, and he hated them right back, stating in 1975 that he was glad he’d lost the fight because the thought of  the Nazis using him for propaganda purposes sickened him. He also personally saved the lives of two Jewish children and later became lifelong friends with Joe Louis.
So maybe don’t refer to him as “Hitler’s favored heavyweight boxer”…

Thank you for this additional info!
Reblogging this for the added facts and so people know that Schmeling wasn’t a Nazi or Nazi collaborator and was in fact a good man 

Imagine hating Nazis so much that when you get beaten up your response is “Good, now they can’t use me as a role model.”

As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s fist.

sindri42: d0cpr0fess0r: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: strixobscuro: softjunebreeze: knowledgeequalsblackpower: paulwalkersdogwalker:...

know: hunterofartemis12:I know the Disney+ show is going to be live action but I imagine an animated series starting off somewhat like this :) 
 know: hunterofartemis12:I know the Disney+ show is going to be live action but I imagine an animated series starting off somewhat like this :) 

hunterofartemis12:I know the Disney+ show is going to be live action but I imagine an animated series starting off somewhat like this :) 

know: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
 know: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

know: If this isn’t Tilly, I don’t know what is
 know: If this isn’t Tilly, I don’t know what is

If this isn’t Tilly, I don’t know what is

know: I don’t know what to put here
 know: I don’t know what to put here

I don’t know what to put here