A
A

A

Me
Me

Me

Https
Https

Https

Have
Have

Have

I Dont
I Dont

I Dont

Jakes
Jakes

Jakes

The
The

The

But
But

But

Try
Try

Try

I Try
I Try

I Try

🔥 | Latest

I Don: hannysds:I don’t know why this image exists but it does and we just have to deal with it
I Don: hannysds:I don’t know why this image exists but it does and we just have to deal with it

hannysds:I don’t know why this image exists but it does and we just have to deal with it

I Don: Um I don’t know how to feel about this
I Don: Um I don’t know how to feel about this

Um I don’t know how to feel about this

I Don: I’m in this photo and I don’t like it
I Don: I’m in this photo and I don’t like it

I’m in this photo and I don’t like it

I Don: I don’t really care if they have a wicked jump shot either.
I Don: I don’t really care if they have a wicked jump shot either.

I don’t really care if they have a wicked jump shot either.

I Don: pangur-and-grim: pangur-and-grim: I don’t understand her body if your hands aren’t free, this also works with feet
I Don: pangur-and-grim:
pangur-and-grim:
I don’t understand her body
if your hands aren’t free, this also works with feet

pangur-and-grim: pangur-and-grim: I don’t understand her body if your hands aren’t free, this also works with feet

I Don: “Well I don’t know either”
I Don: “Well I don’t know either”

“Well I don’t know either”

I Don: I don’t care until it does the job
I Don: I don’t care until it does the job

I don’t care until it does the job

I Don: I don’t want butt hair
I Don: I don’t want butt hair

I don’t want butt hair

I Don: I don’t know how he is gonna come back from this.
I Don: I don’t know how he is gonna come back from this.

I don’t know how he is gonna come back from this.

I Don: good thing I don’t have any friends
I Don: good thing I don’t have any friends

good thing I don’t have any friends

I Don: phantomemes: sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations . “ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ” “ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ” “ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ” “ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ” “ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ” “ you can live in the cave ” “ i’m a big fan of your name ” “ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ” “ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ” “ because i’m a masochist ” “ i’m going to regret this ” “ i’ve lost the ability to feel ” “ they’re gonna fucking murder you ” “ the way you shushed me was quite rude ” “ cowards  ,  all of you ” “ i’m strange and off putting ” “ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ” “ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ” “ i hate bats ” “ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ” “ not today devil birds  ,  not today ” “ i think i’m blacking out right now ” “ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ” “ i think i’m gonna cry ” “ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ” “ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ” “ i’m standing on an altar alone ” “ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ” “ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ” “ were you making horse noises ? ” “ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ” “ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ” “ well this is horrifying ” “ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ” “ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ” “ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ” “ you talk to hide from the silence ” “ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ” “ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ” “ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ” “ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ” “ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ” “ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”
I Don: phantomemes:
sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations .
“ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ”
“ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ”
“ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ”
“ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ”
“ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ”
“ you can live in the cave ”
“ i’m a big fan of your name ”
“ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ”
“ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ”
“ because i’m a masochist ”
“ i’m going to regret this ”
“ i’ve lost the ability to feel ”
“ they’re gonna fucking murder you ”
“ the way you shushed me was quite rude ”
“ cowards  ,  all of you ”
“ i’m strange and off putting ”
“ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ”
“ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ”
“ i hate bats ”
“ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ”
“ not today devil birds  ,  not today ”
“ i think i’m blacking out right now ”
“ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ”
“ i think i’m gonna cry ”
“ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ”
“ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ”
“ i’m standing on an altar alone ”
“ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ”
“ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ”
“ were you making horse noises ? ”
“ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ”
“ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ”
“ well this is horrifying ”
“ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ”
“ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ”
“ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ”
“ you talk to hide from the silence ”
“ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ”
“ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ”
“ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ”
“ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ”
“ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ”
“ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”

phantomemes: sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations . “ i...

I Don: I don’t know where I would be without stack overflow
I Don: I don’t know where I would be without stack overflow

I don’t know where I would be without stack overflow

I Don: I don’t know who needed this but here.
I Don: I don’t know who needed this but here.

I don’t know who needed this but here.

I Don: killerdopecontent: Random ‘But I Don’t Own a Cat’ Moments
I Don: killerdopecontent:

Random ‘But I Don’t Own a Cat’ Moments

killerdopecontent: Random ‘But I Don’t Own a Cat’ Moments

I Don: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.
I Don: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.

I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.

I Don: Um I don’t know how to feel about this
I Don: Um I don’t know how to feel about this

Um I don’t know how to feel about this

I Don: I don’t think Tinder has been working out for me lately…
I Don: I don’t think Tinder has been working out for me lately…

I don’t think Tinder has been working out for me lately…

I Don: I don’t watch porn, I watch sex
I Don: I don’t watch porn, I watch sex

I don’t watch porn, I watch sex

I Don: I don’t understand what is going on.
I Don: I don’t understand what is going on.

I don’t understand what is going on.

I Don: c-bassmeow: I don’t even know how to caption this and I literally studied creative writing wtf 😭😫😂
I Don: c-bassmeow:

I don’t even know how to caption this and I literally studied creative writing wtf 😭😫😂

c-bassmeow: I don’t even know how to caption this and I literally studied creative writing wtf 😭😫😂

I Don: I don’t even know what to do. via: _emilyoram credit: @bertiebertthepom
I Don: I don’t even know what to do. via: _emilyoram credit: @bertiebertthepom

I don’t even know what to do. via: _emilyoram credit: @bertiebertthepom

I Don: remanence-of-love: I don’t think I can define myself.
I Don: remanence-of-love:

I don’t think I can define myself.

remanence-of-love: I don’t think I can define myself.

I Don: I don’t add features I add bugs
I Don: I don’t add features I add bugs

I don’t add features I add bugs

I Don: I don’t normally do this
I Don: I don’t normally do this

I don’t normally do this

I Don: i don’t know what to title this
I Don: i don’t know what to title this

i don’t know what to title this

I Don: omg-humor: I don’t need sleep I need answers
I Don: omg-humor:

I don’t need sleep I need answers

omg-humor: I don’t need sleep I need answers

I Don: They’re both such good dogs I don’t even know where to start.via: dogsbeingbasic (alisons__wonderland)
I Don: They’re both such good dogs I don’t even know where to start.via: dogsbeingbasic (alisons__wonderland)

They’re both such good dogs I don’t even know where to start.via: dogsbeingbasic (alisons__wonderland)

I Don: lazyshoes: libertarirynn: julad: thisdiscontentedwinter: salparadisewasright: sapphicdalliances: jonpertwee: hamfistedbunvendor: jonpertwee: I feel like this would be a slippery slope towards making it illegal for people to choose to not vote. that’s already how it is in australia That’s just so fucked up. :( Do certain medical conditions exempt you? ?????? why is it be fucked up to have compulsory voting? that’s the way it is in most democratic countries? it’s a part of being a citizen, like paying taxes and obeying speed limits? the fine for not voting is only like $50 and because of the compulsory voting law, our country bends over backwards to make it accessible: it’s always on a weekend, lasts most of the day, and is set up at schools and community centers so there’s one within easy reach of almost everybody. you can also mail your ballot or vote early if you’ll be out of the country on the day. like, IT’S EASY TO VOTE, and the penalty isn’t even that ridiculous. i don’t understand why the usa doesn’t have this, except obviously it would make it harder to literally stop minorities from voting. I think we Americans tend to forget that a lot of other countries don’t actively work to make it harder to vote. Adding to this here, in Australia you don’t have to vote. Or, more precisely, there’s no way they can tell if you ruined your ballot. You have to turn up, get your name marked off, but you can put a line through the ballot if you don’t think any of the candidates are worth voting for. Or do this:  Or this:  Or this:  You have get your name crossed off (if you don’t want to wear the fine), but you don’t have to make your vote counted if you’re opposed to it.  And it is so, so easy to vote. Stuck at work or on holidays? That’s fine. Do a postal vote.  Stuck in hospital? That’s fine. They’ll go to you. Stuck in an old people’s home and can’t get around? Again, they’ll go to you. It’s amazing to me that it’s so hard for so many Americans to actually vote. If you make it compulsory, than at least the government is obligated to provide you with the means to vote.  And look, I get it. Sometimes I don’t want to vote either. But I suck it up, I walk three minutes down the street, and I hope that this year they’re selling lamingtons again. Oh, and I buy a democracy sausage, which, even if all the candidates suck, makes the effort of turning up pretty worthwhile.  ALSO, you can see even on the fucked up ballots that you NUMBER CANDIDATES IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE. There’s no need to calculate whether I would be throwing away my vote on the candidate that I most agree with if they’re not from a major party. I can say, I want that independent person to get in, but if not them, give me Big Party A, and if not them, that minor party person is still better that Big Party B, and I’m not giving any preference to the Lunatic Fringe Party. Our system certainly has some issues still, but I can show up to somewhere nearby, line up for a few minutes (if at all), vote exactly in line with my values (on paper, leaving a paper trail that can be recounted), and then buy a sausage and some home made cupcakes on my way out. A country’s voting system matters a hell of a lot and every citizen deserves one that makes it easy to vote and results in a government that is representational and accountable. And by the way, one time I had a bad asthma flare-up on Election Day and didn’t make it to my polling station. I got my fine in the mail, I filled out the form explaining why I couldn’t vote, no more fine. I would rather have, you know, expressed my preference for who should run my country, but they were cool with the fact that I couldn’t do it that day. I still don’t like the idea that I have to vote if I don’t want to. Why the hell should that be mandatory? Because it forces people to participate in deciding how their country is run, which is a good thing. It also forces the government to hear your opinion, which is a good thing. You can still protest the candidates by throwing away your vote, but then you have to acknowledge the fact that you decided to not to care enough to pick your favorite candidate. “Because it forces people to participate in deciding how their country is run, which is a good thing.”>Implying that we actually have any say in how the country is run
I Don: lazyshoes:

libertarirynn:

julad:
thisdiscontentedwinter:

salparadisewasright:

sapphicdalliances:

jonpertwee:

hamfistedbunvendor:


jonpertwee:
I feel like this would be a slippery slope towards making it illegal for people to choose to not vote.
that’s already how it is in australia


That’s just so fucked up. :( Do certain medical conditions exempt you?

?????? why is it be fucked up to have compulsory voting? that’s the way it is in most democratic countries? it’s a part of being a citizen, like paying taxes and obeying speed limits? the fine for not voting is only like $50 and because of the compulsory voting law, our country bends over backwards to make it accessible: it’s always on a weekend, lasts most of the day, and is set up at schools and community centers so there’s one within easy reach of almost everybody. you can also mail your ballot or vote early if you’ll be out of the country on the day. like, IT’S EASY TO VOTE, and the penalty isn’t even that ridiculous. i don’t understand why the usa doesn’t have this, except obviously it would make it harder to literally stop minorities from voting.

I think we Americans tend to forget that a lot of other countries don’t actively work to make it harder to vote.

Adding to this here, in Australia you don’t have to vote. Or, more precisely, there’s no way they can tell if you ruined your ballot. You have to turn up, get your name marked off, but you can put a line through the ballot if you don’t think any of the candidates are worth voting for. Or do this: 
Or this: 

Or this: 
You have get your name crossed off (if you don’t want to wear the fine), but you don’t have to make your vote counted if you’re opposed to it. 
And it is so, so easy to vote. Stuck at work or on holidays? That’s fine. Do a postal vote.  Stuck in hospital? That’s fine. They’ll go to you. Stuck in an old people’s home and can’t get around? Again, they’ll go to you. It’s amazing to me that it’s so hard for so many Americans to actually vote. If you make it compulsory, than at least the government is obligated to provide you with the means to vote. 
And look, I get it. Sometimes I don’t want to vote either. But I suck it up, I walk three minutes down the street, and I hope that this year they’re selling lamingtons again. Oh, and I buy a democracy sausage, which, even if all the candidates suck, makes the effort of turning up pretty worthwhile. 

ALSO, you can see even on the fucked up ballots that you NUMBER  CANDIDATES IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE. There’s no need to calculate whether I would be throwing away my vote on the candidate that I most agree with if they’re not from a major party. I can say, I want that independent person to get in, but if not them, give me Big Party A, and if not them, that minor party person is still better that Big Party B, and I’m not giving any preference to the Lunatic Fringe Party. 
Our system certainly has some issues still, but I can show up to somewhere nearby, line up for a few minutes (if at all), vote exactly in line with my values (on paper, leaving a paper trail that can be recounted), and then buy a sausage and some home made cupcakes on my way out. 
A country’s voting system matters a hell of a lot and every citizen deserves one that makes it easy to vote and results in a government that is representational and accountable. 
And by the way, one time I had a bad asthma flare-up on Election Day and didn’t make it to my polling station. I got my fine in the mail, I filled out the form explaining why I couldn’t vote, no more fine. I would rather have, you know, expressed my preference for who should run my country, but they were cool with the fact that I couldn’t do it that day.



I still don’t like the idea that I have to vote if I don’t want to. Why the hell should that be mandatory?


Because it forces people to participate in deciding how their country is run, which is a good thing. It also forces the government to hear your opinion, which is a good thing. You can still protest the candidates by throwing away your vote, but then you have to acknowledge the fact that you decided to not to care enough to pick your favorite candidate. 


“Because it forces people to participate in deciding how their country is run, which is a good thing.”>Implying that we actually have any say in how the country is run

lazyshoes: libertarirynn: julad: thisdiscontentedwinter: salparadisewasright: sapphicdalliances: jonpertwee: hamfistedbunvendor:...

I Don: julad: thisdiscontentedwinter: salparadisewasright: sapphicdalliances: jonpertwee: hamfistedbunvendor: jonpertwee: I feel like this would be a slippery slope towards making it illegal for people to choose to not vote. that’s already how it is in australia That’s just so fucked up. :( Do certain medical conditions exempt you? ?????? why is it be fucked up to have compulsory voting? that’s the way it is in most democratic countries? it’s a part of being a citizen, like paying taxes and obeying speed limits? the fine for not voting is only like $50 and because of the compulsory voting law, our country bends over backwards to make it accessible: it’s always on a weekend, lasts most of the day, and is set up at schools and community centers so there’s one within easy reach of almost everybody. you can also mail your ballot or vote early if you’ll be out of the country on the day. like, IT’S EASY TO VOTE, and the penalty isn’t even that ridiculous. i don’t understand why the usa doesn’t have this, except obviously it would make it harder to literally stop minorities from voting. I think we Americans tend to forget that a lot of other countries don’t actively work to make it harder to vote. Adding to this here, in Australia you don’t have to vote. Or, more precisely, there’s no way they can tell if you ruined your ballot. You have to turn up, get your name marked off, but you can put a line through the ballot if you don’t think any of the candidates are worth voting for. Or do this:  Or this:  Or this:  You have get your name crossed off (if you don’t want to wear the fine), but you don’t have to make your vote counted if you’re opposed to it.  And it is so, so easy to vote. Stuck at work or on holidays? That’s fine. Do a postal vote.  Stuck in hospital? That’s fine. They’ll go to you. Stuck in an old people’s home and can’t get around? Again, they’ll go to you. It’s amazing to me that it’s so hard for so many Americans to actually vote. If you make it compulsory, than at least the government is obligated to provide you with the means to vote.  And look, I get it. Sometimes I don’t want to vote either. But I suck it up, I walk three minutes down the street, and I hope that this year they’re selling lamingtons again. Oh, and I buy a democracy sausage, which, even if all the candidates suck, makes the effort of turning up pretty worthwhile.  ALSO, you can see even on the fucked up ballots that you NUMBER CANDIDATES IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE. There’s no need to calculate whether I would be throwing away my vote on the candidate that I most agree with if they’re not from a major party. I can say, I want that independent person to get in, but if not them, give me Big Party A, and if not them, that minor party person is still better that Big Party B, and I’m not giving any preference to the Lunatic Fringe Party. Our system certainly has some issues still, but I can show up to somewhere nearby, line up for a few minutes (if at all), vote exactly in line with my values (on paper, leaving a paper trail that can be recounted), and then buy a sausage and some home made cupcakes on my way out. A country’s voting system matters a hell of a lot and every citizen deserves one that makes it easy to vote and results in a government that is representational and accountable. And by the way, one time I had a bad asthma flare-up on Election Day and didn’t make it to my polling station. I got my fine in the mail, I filled out the form explaining why I couldn’t vote, no more fine. I would rather have, you know, expressed my preference for who should run my country, but they were cool with the fact that I couldn’t do it that day. I still don’t like the idea that I have to vote if I don’t want to. Why the hell should that be mandatory?
I Don: julad:
thisdiscontentedwinter:

salparadisewasright:

sapphicdalliances:

jonpertwee:

hamfistedbunvendor:


jonpertwee:
I feel like this would be a slippery slope towards making it illegal for people to choose to not vote.
that’s already how it is in australia


That’s just so fucked up. :( Do certain medical conditions exempt you?

?????? why is it be fucked up to have compulsory voting? that’s the way it is in most democratic countries? it’s a part of being a citizen, like paying taxes and obeying speed limits? the fine for not voting is only like $50 and because of the compulsory voting law, our country bends over backwards to make it accessible: it’s always on a weekend, lasts most of the day, and is set up at schools and community centers so there’s one within easy reach of almost everybody. you can also mail your ballot or vote early if you’ll be out of the country on the day. like, IT’S EASY TO VOTE, and the penalty isn’t even that ridiculous. i don’t understand why the usa doesn’t have this, except obviously it would make it harder to literally stop minorities from voting.

I think we Americans tend to forget that a lot of other countries don’t actively work to make it harder to vote.

Adding to this here, in Australia you don’t have to vote. Or, more precisely, there’s no way they can tell if you ruined your ballot. You have to turn up, get your name marked off, but you can put a line through the ballot if you don’t think any of the candidates are worth voting for. Or do this: 
Or this: 

Or this: 
You have get your name crossed off (if you don’t want to wear the fine), but you don’t have to make your vote counted if you’re opposed to it. 
And it is so, so easy to vote. Stuck at work or on holidays? That’s fine. Do a postal vote.  Stuck in hospital? That’s fine. They’ll go to you. Stuck in an old people’s home and can’t get around? Again, they’ll go to you. It’s amazing to me that it’s so hard for so many Americans to actually vote. If you make it compulsory, than at least the government is obligated to provide you with the means to vote. 
And look, I get it. Sometimes I don’t want to vote either. But I suck it up, I walk three minutes down the street, and I hope that this year they’re selling lamingtons again. Oh, and I buy a democracy sausage, which, even if all the candidates suck, makes the effort of turning up pretty worthwhile. 

ALSO, you can see even on the fucked up ballots that you NUMBER  CANDIDATES IN ORDER OF PREFERENCE. There’s no need to calculate whether I would be throwing away my vote on the candidate that I most agree with if they’re not from a major party. I can say, I want that independent person to get in, but if not them, give me Big Party A, and if not them, that minor party person is still better that Big Party B, and I’m not giving any preference to the Lunatic Fringe Party. 
Our system certainly has some issues still, but I can show up to somewhere nearby, line up for a few minutes (if at all), vote exactly in line with my values (on paper, leaving a paper trail that can be recounted), and then buy a sausage and some home made cupcakes on my way out. 
A country’s voting system matters a hell of a lot and every citizen deserves one that makes it easy to vote and results in a government that is representational and accountable. 
And by the way, one time I had a bad asthma flare-up on Election Day and didn’t make it to my polling station. I got my fine in the mail, I filled out the form explaining why I couldn’t vote, no more fine. I would rather have, you know, expressed my preference for who should run my country, but they were cool with the fact that I couldn’t do it that day.



I still don’t like the idea that I have to vote if I don’t want to. Why the hell should that be mandatory?

julad: thisdiscontentedwinter: salparadisewasright: sapphicdalliances: jonpertwee: hamfistedbunvendor: jonpertwee: I feel like this...

I Don: I don’t even care if this is fake news. It’s what the world needs
I Don: I don’t even care if this is fake news. It’s what the world needs

I don’t even care if this is fake news. It’s what the world needs

I Don: LMAYO…I don’t even have words for this
I Don: LMAYO…I don’t even have words for this

LMAYO…I don’t even have words for this

I Don: remanence-of-love: Even if I don’t want it to be.
I Don: remanence-of-love:

Even if I don’t want it to be.

remanence-of-love: Even if I don’t want it to be.

I Don: If you don’t know me by now - I don’t know what to tell you. by Oreoohs MORE MEMES
I Don: If you don’t know me by now - I don’t know what to tell you. by Oreoohs
MORE MEMES

If you don’t know me by now - I don’t know what to tell you. by Oreoohs MORE MEMES

I Don: I don’t like where this is going
I Don: I don’t like where this is going

I don’t like where this is going

I Don: I don’t know why but this is a prefect example
I Don: I don’t know why but this is a prefect example

I don’t know why but this is a prefect example

I Don: yeah-yeah-beebiss-1: 1. Walrus Ruined My Picnic2. Not Dead, Just Dead Inside3. Magnetic Nipplessomeone help me, i don’t know that many beatles songs
I Don: yeah-yeah-beebiss-1:

1. Walrus Ruined My Picnic2. Not Dead, Just Dead Inside3. Magnetic Nipplessomeone help me, i don’t know that many beatles songs

yeah-yeah-beebiss-1: 1. Walrus Ruined My Picnic2. Not Dead, Just Dead Inside3. Magnetic Nipplessomeone help me, i don’t know that many b...

I Don: I don’t even know
I Don: I don’t even know

I don’t even know

I Don: badacts: kangofu-cb:@badacts i pledge that by next spring (new zealand time) this will be me. that makes no sense but i don’t care
I Don: badacts:

kangofu-cb:@badacts 
i pledge that by next spring (new zealand time) this will be me. that makes no sense but i don’t care

badacts: kangofu-cb:@badacts i pledge that by next spring (new zealand time) this will be me. that makes no sense but i don’t care

I Don: prettypenko:bro I don’t think that’s what your job is supposed to be about
I Don: prettypenko:bro I don’t think that’s what your job is supposed to be about

prettypenko:bro I don’t think that’s what your job is supposed to be about

I Don: rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.
I Don: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

I Don: groovyfunnightmare: jumpingjacktrash: hedgehodgemonster: toodutchforyou: i don’t get it omg who the fuck is party cannon they’re the true rebels here look at this fucking album cover
I Don: groovyfunnightmare:
jumpingjacktrash:

hedgehodgemonster:

toodutchforyou:

i don’t get it omg







who the fuck is party cannon they’re the true rebels here

look at this fucking album cover

groovyfunnightmare: jumpingjacktrash: hedgehodgemonster: toodutchforyou: i don’t get it omg who the fuck is party cannon they’r...

I Don: hiphopmemes: I don’t listen to Rap God anymore
I Don: hiphopmemes:

I don’t listen to Rap God anymore

hiphopmemes: I don’t listen to Rap God anymore