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        won
        

            
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         never grow up
        

            
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    Complex, Drugs, and Gif: There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges
 engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is
 going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the
 Startup Castle says, if you
 - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game
 entertainment per week
 - Have more than 1 tattoo
 - Have ever attended more than 1 protest
 Make more than three posts a week to social
 media
 Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an
 once a day
 Wear make-up more than twice a weelk
 - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags
 costing over $500
 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else
 Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your
 parents
 - Get regular spending money or gifts from your
 parents
 - Have more than one internet app date per week
 - Have a complex diet that requires lots of
 refrigerator space
 - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week
 - Use marijuana more than twice a year
 - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist
 more than once
 - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire
ajani-on-the-spot:
gehayi:

berlynn-wohl:

hapabap:

nazerine:


plasmalogical:


paxamericana:

Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers

good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day


I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them


No, no, guys, look closely.
This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos)
This is obviously an organ harvesting operation.


Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization.
There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone.
(Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.)

“It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Complex, Drugs, and Gif: There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges
 engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is
 going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the
 Startup Castle says, if you
 - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game
 entertainment per week
 - Have more than 1 tattoo
 - Have ever attended more than 1 protest
 Make more than three posts a week to social
 media
 Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an
 once a day
 Wear make-up more than twice a weelk
 - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags
 costing over $500
 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else
 Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your
 parents
 - Get regular spending money or gifts from your
 parents
 - Have more than one internet app date per week
 - Have a complex diet that requires lots of
 refrigerator space
 - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week
 - Use marijuana more than twice a year
 - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist
 more than once
 - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire
ajani-on-the-spot:
gehayi:

berlynn-wohl:

hapabap:

nazerine:


plasmalogical:


paxamericana:

Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers

good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day


I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them


No, no, guys, look closely.
This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos)
This is obviously an organ harvesting operation.


Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization.
There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone.
(Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.)

“It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

                
            

            
            
ajani-on-the-spot:
gehayi:

berlynn-wohl:

hapabap:

nazerine:


plasmalogical:


paxamericana:

Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is lookin...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Clothes, Fuck You, and Fucking: broadwaytheanimatedseries:
dontbugmeimantisocial:

captain-childishfirewarrior:

peppermimint:

giantchicken:

drawology:

pipesandrage:

tophatting:

all1sees:

fumblingfirebird:

cantankerouscrab:

#I CAN SEE THE STITCHINGS OKAY GODDAMN THIS ANIMATION IS GORGEOUS

  #and then you have people only going about how ~hot~ he is
because fuck, you can see the lines under his eyes and even red on the edges of the whiteness of his eyes
and frost on the edgES OF HIS CLOTHING 
but^

seriously, the amount of detail and animation in ROTG is just AMAZING, I felt like I could reach out and feel the fabric of their clothes, of Tooth’s feathers and oh my god , these people are amazing.

Tooth’s feathers have this purple sheen on the lower half of her body and it’s only apparent when her knees are bent or the angle is right

And Jack has kinda splotchy skin and scraggly canine teeth and salt and pepper eyebrows

AND TOOTH HAS FLAWLESSLY MANICURED NAILS

THIS MOVIE IS GORGEOUS

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PARTICLE EFFECTS FOR ALL THE SAND


this is the kind of post I’ve been waiting for.
yes.
to everything.

What’s even more amazing is a bunch of nerds created that shit. I wish they got more praise for the amazing shit they do all the time.

I remember one of the guys showing me the sand tests .. he used to work for NASA.

NASA

FUCKING NASA EVERYBODY!!! 

AND AS A SIDE NOTE, PETER RAMSEY (who directed Rise of the Guardians) ALSO DIRECTED SPIDER-VERSE 


YES HE DID 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Clothes, Fuck You, and Fucking: broadwaytheanimatedseries:
dontbugmeimantisocial:

captain-childishfirewarrior:

peppermimint:

giantchicken:

drawology:

pipesandrage:

tophatting:

all1sees:

fumblingfirebird:

cantankerouscrab:

#I CAN SEE THE STITCHINGS OKAY GODDAMN THIS ANIMATION IS GORGEOUS

  #and then you have people only going about how ~hot~ he is
because fuck, you can see the lines under his eyes and even red on the edges of the whiteness of his eyes
and frost on the edgES OF HIS CLOTHING 
but^

seriously, the amount of detail and animation in ROTG is just AMAZING, I felt like I could reach out and feel the fabric of their clothes, of Tooth’s feathers and oh my god , these people are amazing.

Tooth’s feathers have this purple sheen on the lower half of her body and it’s only apparent when her knees are bent or the angle is right

And Jack has kinda splotchy skin and scraggly canine teeth and salt and pepper eyebrows

AND TOOTH HAS FLAWLESSLY MANICURED NAILS

THIS MOVIE IS GORGEOUS

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE PARTICLE EFFECTS FOR ALL THE SAND


this is the kind of post I’ve been waiting for.
yes.
to everything.

What’s even more amazing is a bunch of nerds created that shit. I wish they got more praise for the amazing shit they do all the time.

I remember one of the guys showing me the sand tests .. he used to work for NASA.

NASA

FUCKING NASA EVERYBODY!!! 

AND AS A SIDE NOTE, PETER RAMSEY (who directed Rise of the Guardians) ALSO DIRECTED SPIDER-VERSE 


YES HE DID 

                
            

            
            
broadwaytheanimatedseries:
dontbugmeimantisocial:

captain-childishfirewarrior:

peppermimint:

giantchicken:

drawology:

pipesandrage:

to...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Beer, Craigslist, and Dad: NEEDED: Generic Father Figure
 for Backyard BBQ (Spokane) 6
 fflehoneubee.com
 To interested individuals,
 We will be throwing a backyard BBQ on June 17th to
 celebrate beer and each other. We range in age from
 21-26, and while most of us know how to operate a
 grill, none of us are prepared to fill the role of "BBQ
 Dad" That being said, we are in need of a generic
 father figure from 4PM to about 8PM (though you may
 stay the full duration of the party). Duties include:

 Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (whilst drinking
 beer
 Bringing your own grill (though this is subject to
 change. We will provide all of the meat)
 Refer to all attendees as "Big Guy', "Chief", "Sport"
 "Champ" etc. (whilst drinking beer)
 Talk about dad things, like lawnmowers, building
 your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc. Funny anecdotes
 are highly encouraged. All whilst drinking beer.
 Desired experience:
 A minimum of 18 vears experience as a father
 A minimum of 10 years grilling experience
 An appreciation of a nice, cold beer on a hot summer
 We can't pay you in money, BUT we can give you all
 the food and cold beer vour heart desires. Grill for a
 few hours, then sit back and crack open a few cold
 ones with the boys.
 THIS IS A REAL AD. Do not hesitate to call if you are
 interested. Preference will be given to applicants
 named Bill, Randy, or Dave
hydok:

sothatjusthappened90:

insanelycoolish:


impuretale:

drunp:
this is peak Craigslist
I want to know if they got answers. 

I really wanna know how this turned out.














Just so you guys know.

cracking open 500 cold ones with the dads

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beer, Craigslist, and Dad: NEEDED: Generic Father Figure
 for Backyard BBQ (Spokane) 6
 fflehoneubee.com
 To interested individuals,
 We will be throwing a backyard BBQ on June 17th to
 celebrate beer and each other. We range in age from
 21-26, and while most of us know how to operate a
 grill, none of us are prepared to fill the role of "BBQ
 Dad" That being said, we are in need of a generic
 father figure from 4PM to about 8PM (though you may
 stay the full duration of the party). Duties include:

 Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (whilst drinking
 beer
 Bringing your own grill (though this is subject to
 change. We will provide all of the meat)
 Refer to all attendees as "Big Guy', "Chief", "Sport"
 "Champ" etc. (whilst drinking beer)
 Talk about dad things, like lawnmowers, building
 your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc. Funny anecdotes
 are highly encouraged. All whilst drinking beer.
 Desired experience:
 A minimum of 18 vears experience as a father
 A minimum of 10 years grilling experience
 An appreciation of a nice, cold beer on a hot summer
 We can't pay you in money, BUT we can give you all
 the food and cold beer vour heart desires. Grill for a
 few hours, then sit back and crack open a few cold
 ones with the boys.
 THIS IS A REAL AD. Do not hesitate to call if you are
 interested. Preference will be given to applicants
 named Bill, Randy, or Dave
hydok:

sothatjusthappened90:

insanelycoolish:


impuretale:

drunp:
this is peak Craigslist
I want to know if they got answers. 

I really wanna know how this turned out.














Just so you guys know.

cracking open 500 cold ones with the dads

                
            

            
            
hydok:

sothatjusthappened90:

insanelycoolish:


impuretale:

drunp:
this is peak Craigslist
I want to know if they got answers. 

I really...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bad, Beautiful, and Cats: oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Yesterday 3:24 PM
 Dad
 I've got some bad news. Kitty
 has been missing since last
 night. When your mom drove
 the neighborhood just now,
 she found her in the street
 near the house. Your mom is
 pretty emotional so please
 reach out when you can and
 offer your support
 Oh no. So sorry to hear this
 Sister
 Man. Just got off the phone
 with her-she's definitely very
 broken up about it. Give her
 our love in person when you
 get home, dad. And be sure
 to get the woman her
 groceries. Love you guys!
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Yesterday 5:38 PM
 Dad
 Well your not going to believe
 this. After a beautiful burial
 service and words of
 remembrance from yours
 truly. We walked back in the
 house to begin our post-Kitty
 life. Out of habit I looked out
 the back window and guess
 who was staring back at me?
 You guessed it. We buried
 someone else's cat. I gues:s
 it's true-cats do have nine
 lives. Thanks for y
 words. All is better now.
 our kind
 Sister
 is this forreal?!
 Dad
 Would you like a photo?
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 ィ。
 78%
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Would you like a photo?
 Sister
 YES
 What the actual fuck
 Sister
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 12:35 PM
 8 73%
 Messages Mom
 Details
 Today 12:34 PM
 Oh, and BTW, I dug up the
 carcass and took it to our vet
 and it didn't have a chip in it.
 Because it's a rabbit. DO NOT
 tell the world about this.
 Message
 A S D F G H J K L
 123
 space
 return
goatyellsateverything:

roaringstream:

thecommonchick:

THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂

“Do NOT tell the world about this”200,000 notes


It didnt have a chip BECAUSE ITS A RABBIT! *DYING*

Man how broken up do you gotta be to mistake a rabbit body for a cat? 😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Beautiful, and Cats: oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Yesterday 3:24 PM
 Dad
 I've got some bad news. Kitty
 has been missing since last
 night. When your mom drove
 the neighborhood just now,
 she found her in the street
 near the house. Your mom is
 pretty emotional so please
 reach out when you can and
 offer your support
 Oh no. So sorry to hear this
 Sister
 Man. Just got off the phone
 with her-she's definitely very
 broken up about it. Give her
 our love in person when you
 get home, dad. And be sure
 to get the woman her
 groceries. Love you guys!
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Yesterday 5:38 PM
 Dad
 Well your not going to believe
 this. After a beautiful burial
 service and words of
 remembrance from yours
 truly. We walked back in the
 house to begin our post-Kitty
 life. Out of habit I looked out
 the back window and guess
 who was staring back at me?
 You guessed it. We buried
 someone else's cat. I gues:s
 it's true-cats do have nine
 lives. Thanks for y
 words. All is better now.
 our kind
 Sister
 is this forreal?!
 Dad
 Would you like a photo?
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 ィ。
 78%
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Would you like a photo?
 Sister
 YES
 What the actual fuck
 Sister
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 12:35 PM
 8 73%
 Messages Mom
 Details
 Today 12:34 PM
 Oh, and BTW, I dug up the
 carcass and took it to our vet
 and it didn't have a chip in it.
 Because it's a rabbit. DO NOT
 tell the world about this.
 Message
 A S D F G H J K L
 123
 space
 return
goatyellsateverything:

roaringstream:

thecommonchick:

THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂

“Do NOT tell the world about this”200,000 notes


It didnt have a chip BECAUSE ITS A RABBIT! *DYING*

Man how broken up do you gotta be to mistake a rabbit body for a cat? 😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
goatyellsateverything:

roaringstream:

thecommonchick:

THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂

“Do NOT tell the world about this”200,000 notes


It didnt hav...