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Alive, Apparently, and Ass: i Still cant believe sneaking out is an Actual this is just so unrealistic to me like what the fuck how do yal do it??? I have Arguments and 1. like what am i supposed to do if i live in a building??? do i just wait for the elevator?7 do i take the stairs?? mind me there could be a Lot 2. how THE FUCK do yall manage to do all this shit without waking anyone up?2? this is So Fake!! if i so much as sneeze into my pillow my mom will come into my room and see if my ass is okay and then complain that i woke her up 3. HOW THE FUCK DONT YOUR PARENTS REALIZE YALL ARE GONE?? AND HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO COME BACK?? WHAT THE 4. if my mom found out that id been going places in the middle of the night u bet your ass d be dead the next day 5. i dont believe in this concept At All i mean i guess it's possible the way american houses are built but it's still a bit far fetched mo but yea growing up in Puerto Rico in an urbanizacion it was like Imao you can't sneak out in a house like that. first of all our windows are miami style of whatever, second of all there's only 1 functioning door (technically our house had 2 but 1 of them had potted plants on both sides so it was never used but in any case both were on the same side of the house), and the house is so small like you would hear someone opening and closing it, plus you just know at least 1 person on your street would be up and would spill that piping hot tea to your parents the next day so my sister snuck out of the house one night because we live in an old house in the country that's always creaking and "settling" which, good news: is perfect for sneaking out because there's always weird noises anyway we're in the middle of the woods and there's always creepy fucking noises but hey, what are white girls gonna do except sneak out at night and through the woods to go have sex with their boyfriends? and I do literally mean through the woods, our driveway is a quarter of a mile long through actual wooded area, and she wasn't smart enough to grab a flashlight, but she could sort of see the headlights of her boyfriend's car at the very end so it wasn't so bad going down to except when she got dropped off, she had to make the trip back up the driveway, through the dark scary woods, with no light whatsoever, at like 3 am or some other Gonna Get White Girl Murdered time and she was high as fuuuuuuuck so she's creeping her way back up the driveway, trying to move slow or else she'll fall off the ground and get lost in the sky forever then she steps on a frog because we also have a 3 acre "pond" like our property isn't fucking creepy enough already and my first-time-to-ever-be-high sister stepped on a FROG and apparently it both squished and belched, and keep in mind that with no light whatsoever she doesn't know what the fuck just happened AT ALL I wake up to a series of frantic text messages dont tell momd and dad also, just for context, this is also the sister that pierced her own ears and gave herself a stick'n'poke tattoo with a lighter and my mom's sewing needle because she "got restless and picked a fight with a girl two grades above, half a foot taller, and probably a hundred pounds heavier AND WON (it doesn't matter if you're smol if you get 'em and get on top) so waking up to an "I just murdered text from her was actually kind of inevitable. siblings are either ride or die or no officer I've never seen that person before, and that night,I decided I was ride or die so then I take MY dumb white girl ass out into the woods in the middle of the night, but at east I'm smart enough to take a flashlight. sister had already texted me she was "onthe driveways" but again, that's a quarter mile finally I arrive at the scene of the crime sister: sitting in the gravel, crying, makeup a frog: laying still beside her, looking like a slightly smaler Jabba the Hut she points at the frog and sobs that it's a heart obviously a frog, a fucking BIG ASS frog, but still. I'm relieved, but also super pissed because I drug myself out of bed, snuck out too, and dangled my sumptuous human body in front of all the Forest Monsters on my way down here and there isn't even a fucking body just a frog, which I pick up to show her is not a heart, and turns out to only be stunned! not dead! still very much alive and full of peel! so it pisses all over me and slimes out of my also, I totally held my sister's hand with my Piss Hand as I led her back home because she 6. why wouldn't you rather just sleep the journey came home Sneaking out of the house with a side of frog murder
Alive, Apparently, and Ass: i Still cant believe sneaking out is an Actual
 this is just so unrealistic to me like what the
 fuck how do yal do it??? I have Arguments and
 1. like what am i supposed to do if i live in a
 building??? do i just wait for the elevator?7 do i
 take the stairs?? mind me there could be a Lot
 2. how THE FUCK do yall manage to do all this
 shit without waking anyone up?2? this is So
 Fake!! if i so much as sneeze into my pillow my
 mom will come into my room and see if my ass
 is okay and then complain that i woke her up
 3. HOW THE FUCK DONT YOUR PARENTS
 REALIZE YALL ARE GONE?? AND HOW DO
 YOU MANAGE TO COME BACK?? WHAT THE
 4. if my mom found out that id been going
 places in the middle of the night u bet your ass
 d be dead the next day
 5. i dont believe in this concept At All
 i mean i guess it's possible the way american
 houses are built but it's still a bit far fetched
 mo but yea growing up in Puerto Rico in an
 urbanizacion it was like Imao you can't sneak
 out in a house like that. first of all our windows
 are miami style of whatever, second of all
 there's only 1 functioning door (technically our
 house had 2 but 1 of them had potted plants on
 both sides so it was never used but in any case
 both were on the same side of the house), and
 the house is so small like you would hear
 someone opening and closing it, plus you just
 know at least 1 person on your street would be
 up and would spill that piping hot tea to your
 parents the next day
 so my sister snuck out of the house one night
 because we live in an old house in the country
 that's always creaking and "settling" which,
 good news: is perfect for sneaking out because
 there's always weird noises anyway
 we're in the middle of the woods and there's
 always creepy fucking noises
 but hey, what are white girls gonna do except
 sneak out at night and through the woods to go
 have sex with their boyfriends?
 and I do literally mean through the woods, our
 driveway is a quarter of a mile long through
 actual wooded area, and she wasn't smart
 enough to grab a flashlight, but she could sort
 of see the headlights of her boyfriend's car at
 the very end so it wasn't so bad going down to
 except when she got dropped off, she had to
 make the trip back up the driveway, through
 the dark scary woods, with no light whatsoever,
 at like 3 am or some other Gonna Get White
 Girl Murdered time
 and she was high as fuuuuuuuck
 so she's creeping her way back up the
 driveway, trying to move slow or else she'll fall
 off the ground and get lost in the sky forever
 then she steps on a frog
 because we also have a 3 acre "pond" like our
 property isn't fucking creepy enough already
 and my first-time-to-ever-be-high sister
 stepped on a FROG and apparently it both
 squished and belched, and keep in mind that
 with no light whatsoever she doesn't know
 what the fuck just happened AT ALL
 I wake up to a series of frantic text messages
 dont tell momd and dad
 also, just for context, this is also the sister that
 pierced her own ears and gave herself a
 stick'n'poke tattoo with a lighter and my mom's
 sewing needle because she "got restless and
 picked a fight with a girl two grades above, half
 a foot taller, and probably a hundred pounds
 heavier AND WON
 (it doesn't matter if you're smol if you get 'em
 and get on top)
 so waking up to an "I just murdered
 text from her was actually kind of inevitable.
 siblings are either ride or die or no officer I've
 never seen that person before, and that night,I
 decided I was ride or die
 so then I take MY dumb white girl ass out into
 the woods in the middle of the night, but at
 east I'm smart enough to take a flashlight.
 sister had already texted me she was "onthe
 driveways" but again, that's a quarter mile
 finally I arrive at the scene of the crime
 sister: sitting in the gravel, crying, makeup a
 frog: laying still beside her, looking like a
 slightly smaler Jabba the Hut
 she points at the frog and sobs that it's a heart
 obviously a frog, a fucking BIG ASS frog, but
 still. I'm relieved, but also super pissed
 because I drug myself out of bed, snuck out
 too, and dangled my sumptuous human body in
 front of all the Forest Monsters on my way
 down here and there isn't even a fucking body
 just a frog, which I pick up to show her is not a
 heart, and turns out to only be stunned! not
 dead! still very much alive and full of peel!
 so it pisses all over me and slimes out of my
 also, I totally held my sister's hand with my Piss
 Hand as I led her back home because she
 6. why wouldn't you rather just sleep
 the journey came home
Sneaking out of the house with a side of frog murder

Sneaking out of the house with a side of frog murder

Alive, Apparently, and Ass: starism i Still cant believe sneaking out is an Actual thing that teenagers Do starism this is just so unrealistic to me like what the fuck how do yall do it??? I have Arguments and Questions 1. like what am i supposed to do if i live in a building??? do i just wait for the elevator?? do i take the stairs?? mind me there could be a Lot 2. how THE FUCK do yall manage to do all this shit without waking anyone up?? this is So Fake!! if i so much as sneeze into my pillow my mom will come into my room and see if my ass is okay and then complain that i woke her up 3. HOW THE FUCK DONT YOUR PARENTS REALIZE YALL ARE GONE?? AND HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO COME BACK?? WHAT THE FUCK!! 4. if my mom found out that id been going places in the middle of the night u bet your ass id be dead the next day 5. i dont believe in this concept At All so my sister snuck out of the house one night because we live in an old house in the country that's always creaking and "settling" which, d news: is perfect for sneaking out because there's always weird noises anyway; bad news: we're in the middle of the woods and there's always creepy fucking noises but hey, what are white girls gonna do except sneak out at night and through the woods to go have sex with their boyfriends? cou and I do literally mean through the woods. our driveway is a quarter of a mile long through actual wooded area, and she wasn't smart enough to grab a flashlight. but she could sort of see the headlights of her boyfriend's car at the very end so it wasn't so bad going down to be picked up except when she got dropped off, she had to make the trip back up the driveway, through the dark scary woods, with no light whatsoever, at like 3 am or some other Gonna Get White Girl Murdered time and she was high as fuuuuuuuuuuck so she's creeping her way back up the driveway, trying to move slow or else she'll fall off the ground and get lost in the sky forever. really then she steps on a frog because we also have a 3 acre "pond" like our property isn't fucking creepy enough already and my first-time-to-ever-be-high sister stepped on a FROG and apparently it both squished and belched, and keep in mind that with no light whatsoever she doesnt know what the fuck just happened AT ALL I wake up to a series of frantic text messages hlp he lp HEL dont' tell momd and dad jsut murdered somtheing also, just for context, this is also the sister that pierced her own ears and gave herself a stick'n'poke tattoo with a lighter and my moms sewing needle because she "got restless" and picked a fight with a girl two grades above, half a foot taller, and probably a hundred pounds heavier AND WON (it doesn't matter if you're smol if you get 'em on the ground and get on top) anyway so waking up to an "I just murdered something text from her was. actually kind of inevitable siblings are either ride or die or no officer I've never seen that person before, and that night, I decided I was ride or die so then I take MY dumb white girl ass out into the woods in the middle of the night, but at least I'm smart enough to take a flashlight sister had already texted me she was "onthe driveways" but again that's a quarter mile journey finally I arrive at the scene of the crime sister: sitting in the gravel, crying, makeup a Mess frog: laying still beside her, looking like a slightly smaller Jabba the Hut she points at the frog and sobs that it's a heart. obviously a frog. a fucking BIG ASS frog, but still. I'm relieved, but also super pissed, because I drug myself out of bed, snuck out too, and dangled my sumptuous human body in front of all the Forest Monsters on my way down here and there isn't even a fucking body just a frog, which I pick up to show her is not a heart, and turns out to only be stunned! not deadl still very much alive and full of pee!! so it pisses all over me and slimes out of my hand, escaping into the night also, I totally held my sisters hand with my Piss Hand as Iled her back home because she mia7437 this was a goddamned journey 6. why wouldn't you rather just sleep reasons to not sneak out of the house
Alive, Apparently, and Ass: starism
 i Still cant believe sneaking out is an Actual
 thing that teenagers Do
 starism
 this is just so unrealistic to me like what the
 fuck how do yall do it??? I have Arguments and
 Questions
 1. like what am i supposed to do if i live in a
 building??? do i just wait for the elevator?? do i
 take the stairs?? mind me there could be a Lot
 2. how THE FUCK do yall manage to do all this
 shit without waking anyone up?? this is So
 Fake!! if i so much as sneeze into my pillow my
 mom will come into my room and see if my ass
 is okay and then complain that i woke her up
 3. HOW THE FUCK DONT YOUR PARENTS
 REALIZE YALL ARE GONE?? AND HOW DO YOU
 MANAGE TO COME BACK?? WHAT THE FUCK!!
 4. if my mom found out that id been going
 places in the middle of the night u bet your ass
 id be dead the next day
 5. i dont believe in this concept At All
 so my sister snuck out of the house one night
 because we live in an old house in the country
 that's always creaking and "settling" which,
 d news: is perfect for sneaking out because
 there's always weird noises anyway; bad news:
 we're in the middle of the woods and there's
 always creepy fucking noises
 but hey, what are white girls gonna do except
 sneak out at night and through the woods to go
 have sex with their boyfriends?
 cou
 and I do literally mean through the woods. our
 driveway is a quarter of a mile long through
 actual wooded area, and she wasn't smart
 enough to grab a flashlight. but she could sort
 of see the headlights of her boyfriend's car at
 the very end so it wasn't so bad going down to
 be picked up
 except when she got dropped off, she had to
 make the trip back up the driveway, through the
 dark scary woods, with no light whatsoever, at
 like 3 am or some other Gonna Get White Girl
 Murdered time
 and she was high as fuuuuuuuuuuck
 so she's creeping her way back up the driveway,
 trying to move slow or else she'll fall off the
 ground and get lost in the sky forever. really
 then she steps on a frog
 because we also have a 3 acre "pond" like our
 property isn't fucking creepy enough already
 and my first-time-to-ever-be-high sister stepped
 on a FROG and apparently it both squished and
 belched, and keep in mind that with no light
 whatsoever she doesnt know what the fuck just
 happened AT ALL
 I wake up to a series of frantic text messages
 hlp he lp HEL
 dont' tell momd and dad
 jsut murdered somtheing
 also, just for context, this is also the sister that
 pierced her own ears and gave herself a
 stick'n'poke tattoo with a lighter and my moms
 sewing needle because she "got restless" and
 picked a fight with a girl two grades above, half
 a foot taller, and probably a hundred pounds
 heavier AND WON
 (it doesn't matter if you're smol if you get 'em
 on the ground and get on top)
 anyway
 so waking up to an "I just murdered something
 text from her was. actually kind of inevitable
 siblings are either ride or die or no officer I've
 never seen that person before, and that night, I
 decided I was ride or die
 so then I take MY dumb white girl ass out into
 the woods in the middle of the night, but at
 least I'm smart enough to take a flashlight
 sister had already texted me she was "onthe
 driveways" but again that's a quarter mile
 journey
 finally I arrive at the scene of the crime
 sister: sitting in the gravel, crying, makeup a
 Mess
 frog: laying still beside her, looking like a slightly
 smaller Jabba the Hut
 she points at the frog and sobs that it's a heart.
 obviously a frog. a fucking BIG ASS frog, but
 still. I'm relieved, but also super pissed, because
 I drug myself out of bed, snuck out too, and
 dangled my sumptuous human body in front of
 all the Forest Monsters on my way down here
 and there isn't even a fucking body
 just a frog, which I pick up to show her is not a
 heart, and turns out to only be stunned! not
 deadl still very much alive and full of pee!!
 so it pisses all over me and slimes out of my
 hand, escaping into the night
 also, I totally held my sisters hand with my Piss
 Hand as Iled her back home because she
 mia7437
 this was a goddamned journey
 6. why wouldn't you rather just sleep
reasons to not sneak out of the house

reasons to not sneak out of the house

Animals, Drugs, and Facts: WTF fun fact #8083 The use of bowls to house goldfish comes from a misunderstanding of Chinese display vessels-small, temporary containers to show guests goldfish that were otherwise housed in ponds. Fishbowls are so detrimental to goldfish health that they are prohibited by places like Rome for animal cruelty flashiefins: optometrictzedek: wtf-fun-factss: Why you shouldn’t put goldfish in a bowl - WTF fun facts By the way, bettas are the same. It’s a myth that they live  in puddles. Wild bettas live in rice patties that look like this:  And you know how males fight in captivity? Yeah see, in the wild, each male betta has a territory of roughly one square meter [X]. That’s over 260 gallons of water per betta! Of course they’ll fight in a tiny 1 gallon tank! (The myth about puddles exists because, in the dry season, a betta may get trapped in a puddle, and it is equipped to survive that, but only for a short period of time). Also, notice how much is growing in that water - bettas need a lot of places to hide in and rest on, not just a single bamboo shoot in  the center of a vase! They will get stressed and even more aggressive without the hides. Fish are animals just like your other pets. Do your research before buying and treat them appropriately. If you can’t afford a proper betta or goldfish set up (at LEAST 5 gallons for a betta with a heater and hides, at LEAST 20 gallons for a goldfish with a strong filtering system and NO GRAVEL, and I recommend adding at least 10 gallons to those minimums for healthy and happy fish), don’t get one. They are living things, not decor pieces. Here is more information on how to properly care for:Goldfish: 1 2 3 4  Bettas: 1 2 3 
Animals, Drugs, and Facts: WTF fun fact #8083
 The use of bowls to house goldfish comes from a misunderstanding
 of Chinese display vessels-small, temporary containers to show
 guests goldfish that were otherwise housed in ponds. Fishbowls are
 so detrimental to goldfish health that they are prohibited by places
 like Rome for animal cruelty
flashiefins:

optometrictzedek:

wtf-fun-factss:
Why you shouldn’t put goldfish in a bowl - WTF fun facts


By the way, bettas are the same. It’s a myth that they live  in puddles. Wild bettas live in rice patties that look like this: 
And you know how males fight in captivity? Yeah see, in the wild, each male betta has a territory of roughly one square meter [X]. That’s over 260 gallons of water per betta! Of course they’ll fight in a tiny 1 gallon tank! (The myth about puddles exists because, in the dry season, a betta may get trapped in a puddle, and it is equipped to survive that, but only for a short period of time). Also, notice how much is growing in that water - bettas need a lot of places to hide in and rest on, not just a single bamboo shoot in  the center of a vase! They will get stressed and even more aggressive without the hides. Fish are animals just like your other pets. Do your research before buying and treat them appropriately. If you can’t afford a proper betta or goldfish set up (at LEAST 5 gallons for a betta with a heater and hides, at LEAST 20 gallons for a goldfish with a strong filtering system and NO GRAVEL, and I recommend adding at least 10 gallons to those minimums for healthy and happy fish), don’t get one. They are living things, not decor pieces. Here is more information on how to properly care for:Goldfish: 1 2 3 4  Bettas: 1 2 3 

flashiefins: optometrictzedek: wtf-fun-factss: Why you shouldn’t put goldfish in a bowl - WTF fun facts By the way, bettas are the same....

Dope, Food, and Fucking: hipsterkittypostingteenybopper Re: Purge. If everything was legal for like twenty-four hours I'd start a communal garden. This is barely even hyperbole. I would legit start a communal garden with whoever wanted to join me. I think that would be fucking dope. derinthemadscientist Rewrite of The Purge where, for 24 hours, people hurriedly complete all those renovations and projects that the council forbids. Helen, leader of the PTA, laughs maniacally as she tears grass from her lawn with a pitchfork, her thirteen- year-old daughter Emily's arms red with mud as she wades through the carnage, planting thyme. Jack and Mitch have left their friendly smiles behind at the RSL; today their faces show only grim determination as they methodically shovel gravel into potholes and pour bitumen. The local biker gang, gathered on the corner, are the most rambunctious of the mischief-makers, whooping and hollering as nail guns are driven into plywood, assembling miniature by-the-road shelters for the homeless to rest on cold nights. Their noise covers the sounds of Katy and Sam moving from street to street with their trolleys, picking up unsold or unwanted food from houses and restaurants to give to the hungry without fear of taxation or food safety reprisals. They're young, and still scared of being caught But there's no one to catch them. Not tonight dreamerinsilico ...You know you live in a dystopian capitalist hellscape when.... The Purge: Maybe we are good people
Dope, Food, and Fucking: hipsterkittypostingteenybopper
 Re: Purge.
 If everything was legal for like twenty-four hours I'd start a communal garden.
 This is barely even hyperbole.
 I would legit start a communal garden with whoever wanted to join me.
 I think that would be fucking dope.
 derinthemadscientist
 Rewrite of The Purge where, for 24 hours, people hurriedly complete all those
 renovations and projects that the council forbids. Helen, leader of the PTA,
 laughs maniacally as she tears grass from her lawn with a pitchfork, her thirteen-
 year-old daughter Emily's arms red with mud as she wades through the carnage,
 planting thyme. Jack and Mitch have left their friendly smiles behind at the RSL;
 today their faces show only grim determination as they methodically shovel
 gravel into potholes and pour bitumen. The local biker gang, gathered on the
 corner, are the most rambunctious of the mischief-makers, whooping and
 hollering as nail guns are driven into plywood, assembling miniature by-the-road
 shelters for the homeless to rest on cold nights. Their noise covers the sounds of
 Katy and Sam moving from street to street with their trolleys, picking up unsold
 or unwanted food from houses and restaurants to give to the hungry without fear
 of taxation or food safety reprisals. They're young, and still scared of being
 caught
 But there's no one to catch them. Not tonight
 dreamerinsilico
 ...You know you live in a dystopian capitalist hellscape when....
The Purge: Maybe we are good people

The Purge: Maybe we are good people

Cats, Dating, and Drinking: TUMBLR GETS EVIL #6 More Tumbir stuft st FACEBOOK.COM BESTTUMBLRSTUF Wihen you make your triend eugh whle drinking something and ey almosl chose to death CARD a43000 Spiders eat their parents all the time and no one cares when they do it so what the fuck dd you eat your parents How about you mind your own business 2 one time my parents were gone for the weekend so i took everything in the house and moved it five inches to the left. it was subtle enough that it wasn't obvious but they felt like something was off when they got back and they kept bumping into the corners of tables and couches 3 i am a cruel man There are just some sounds that4 everyone loves: Shoes on gravel . Crackling of a fire .The snapping of necks of those who think they can disrespect you . Cats purring 5 liar-liar chompyface do you ever just want to gently place your hands on someones cheeks and hold their head there in your hands and looking into their eyes and then violently jerk their head on a right angle and snap their neck Well, that took an unexpected turn. so did their neck 6 once when i was me.icamed lt瞞ateachers work day so ' ouln't have to go to school and mam's nct an idot so of course t diert work but hen we got to the school we found it mos a beacher's work day and that made me thinkihad super powers so i started trying to kit classmates with my mind to confm te neory You thought you had super powers so you mmedialely anempted t murder everyone go big or go home the scary thing about dating is that you are either going to marry that person or break up or skin them and wear their face as a hat Whoo there friendl You might need to olow down FACEBOOK.COM/BESTTUMBLRSTUFF 翞CI MEMECENTER.COM/VLADE Tumblr Is.?
Cats, Dating, and Drinking: TUMBLR GETS EVIL #6
 More Tumbir stuft st FACEBOOK.COM BESTTUMBLRSTUF
 Wihen you make your triend eugh whle drinking something and ey
 almosl chose to death
 CARD
 a43000
 Spiders eat their parents all the time and no one cares when they
 do it so what the fuck
 dd you eat your parents
 How about you mind your own business
 2
 one time my parents were gone for
 the weekend
 so i took everything in the house and
 moved it five inches to the left.
 it was subtle enough that it wasn't
 obvious but they felt like something
 was off when they got back
 and they kept bumping into the
 corners of tables and couches
 3
 i am a cruel man
 There are just some sounds that4
 everyone loves:
 Shoes on gravel
 . Crackling of a fire
 .The snapping of necks of those
 who think they can disrespect you
 . Cats purring
 5
 liar-liar
 chompyface
 do you ever just want to gently
 place your hands on someones
 cheeks and hold their head
 there in your hands and looking
 into their eyes and then
 violently jerk their head on a
 right angle and snap their neck
 Well, that took an unexpected
 turn.
 so did their neck
 6
 once when i was me.icamed lt瞞ateachers work day so '
 ouln't have to go to school and mam's nct an idot so of course
 t diert work but hen we got to the school we found it mos a
 beacher's work day and that made me thinkihad super powers so
 i started trying to kit classmates with my mind to confm te
 neory
 You thought you had super powers so you mmedialely anempted t
 murder everyone
 go big or go home
 the scary thing about dating is
 that you are either going to
 marry that person or break up
 or skin them and wear their face
 as a hat
 Whoo there friendl You might need to olow down
 FACEBOOK.COM/BESTTUMBLRSTUFF
 翞CI
 MEMECENTER.COM/VLADE
Tumblr Is.?

Tumblr Is.?

Tumblr, Blog, and Http: memehumor: Parking spot lines painted on gravel. Idiots.
Tumblr, Blog, and Http: memehumor:

Parking spot lines painted on gravel. Idiots.

memehumor: Parking spot lines painted on gravel. Idiots.