Its
Its

Its

4 Days
4 Days

4 Days

The
The

The

But
But

But

Waiting For
Waiting For

Waiting For

Weight
Weight

Weight

Here
Here

Here

And
And

And

Proudness
Proudness

Proudness

Shitted
Shitted

Shitted

馃敟 | Latest

For Him: I feel sad for him
For Him: I feel sad for him

I feel sad for him

For Him: F for him
For Him: F for him

F for him

For Him: twitblr: Man I feel sorry for him
For Him: twitblr:

Man I feel sorry for him

twitblr: Man I feel sorry for him

For Him: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥
For Him: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of 鈥楳en Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus鈥

For Him: The Trevor Moore O @itrevormoore Tmes TREDOR moORE Remember. Kevin McCallister could have phoned the police at any time. He was a child who had accidentally been left alone. One call and he would have been safe. But it was never about safety. He was hunting those men. He wanted them to die. It was fun for him. He enjoyed it. bisexualhennessy: foxyclock: orgyporgy: shittymoviedetails: Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that鈥檚 also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn鈥檛 borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a 鈥減olice officer鈥 which is why Kevin doesn鈥檛 trust the cops. I鈥檓 so tired of the ignorance. The slander. FINALLY we鈥檝e reached the time of year for home alone discourse #he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing聽(via @hotcrossedfangs)聽 Also the police in that movie are hilariously inept. Kevin鈥榮 mom contacts them to do a wellness check on her eight-year-old son who is home alone and for them that consists of casually wandering down to the house, knocking once, and then when nobody answers instead of considering the very real possibility that a frightened young boy might not open the door right away, they just assume everything鈥榮 fine and the mom is just crazy and they fuck right off.锟硷考
For Him: The
 Trevor Moore O
 @itrevormoore
 Tmes
 TREDOR
 moORE
 Remember. Kevin McCallister could
 have phoned the police at any time. He
 was a child who had accidentally been
 left alone. One call and he would have
 been safe. But it was never about safety.
 He was hunting those men. He wanted
 them to die. It was fun for him. He
 enjoyed it.
bisexualhennessy:

foxyclock:

orgyporgy:

shittymoviedetails:
Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone
The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that鈥檚 also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn鈥檛 borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a 鈥減olice officer鈥 which is why Kevin doesn鈥檛 trust the cops. I鈥檓 so tired of the ignorance. The slander. 


FINALLY we鈥檝e reached the time of year for home alone discourse

#he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing聽(via @hotcrossedfangs)聽

Also the police in that movie are hilariously inept. Kevin鈥榮 mom contacts them to do a wellness check on her eight-year-old son who is home alone and for them that consists of casually wandering down to the house, knocking once, and then when nobody answers instead of considering the very real possibility that a frightened young boy might not open the door right away, they just assume everything鈥榮 fine and the mom is just crazy and they fuck right off.锟硷考

bisexualhennessy: foxyclock: orgyporgy: shittymoviedetails: Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone The movie establishes that the pho...

For Him: Cat's Diary Dog's Diary Day 983 of My Captivity Dog food! My favorite thing! A car ride! My favorite 8:00 am My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my strength. 9:30 am thing! A walk in the park! My 9:40 am favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite thing! The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now. Dinner! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! mini phone dump
For Him: Cat's Diary
 Dog's Diary
 Day 983 of My Captivity
 Dog food! My favorite thing!
 A car ride! My favorite
 8:00 am
 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling
 objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
 inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
 Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
 I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my
 strength.
 9:30 am
 thing!
 A walk in the park! My
 9:40 am
 favorite thing!
 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My
 favorite thing!
 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite
 thing!
 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My
 favorite thing!
 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite
 thing!
 The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
 an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
 Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
 their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
 since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they
 merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle
 hunter" I am. Bastards!
 There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
 I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
 event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
 overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
 "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
 my advantage.
 Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
 of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
 I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
 I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
 snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
 released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
 obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe
 him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that
 he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
 custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now.
 Dinner! My favorite thing!
 5:00 pm
 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite
 thing!
 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the
 people! My favorite thing!
 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My
 favorite thing!
mini phone dump

mini phone dump

For Him: Roberk Vanse Mark Humph oma Progra Robert We Michae Marjut Mier Mark e with Diploma Program secretlycrazyhummingbird: glumshoe: dentedproduct: frivolousphantasies: magical-game: mementoviviere: coffeehedonist: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: So I found this caterpillar on my way to class We鈥檙e bros I named him chicken nugget Aaaa he鈥檚 turning a duller color鈥 I hope he鈥檚 alright So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn鈥檛 messing around update hes entirely yellow now i made him a tube room hes crawlin all over the place checking it out its happening False alarm he moved a bitThis guy ??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna whats he doing its happening part 2 For Real This Time chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now hes been chillin like this for a couple days聽 hes been in cocoon for 10 days now馃帀馃悰馃帀 let me know how he鈥檚 doing soon HES BUSTIN OUT im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up hope he doesnt party too hard聽 馃悰 馃挙 馃挙 hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!! hes鈥檚 in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0 there he goes he鈥檚 free and im so proud and a little sad this was an incredible experience (thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background) I鈥檝e seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I鈥檓 getting pissed, anyway here鈥檚 the full chicken nugget saga. Awesome! Hope you鈥檙e happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget! I have missed this post so much! Let鈥檚 all celebrate Chicken Nugget! do you guys realize that,,,, chicken nugget is one of those butterflies that is perfectly half female and half male?? nugget鈥檚 left wing is typical of a female spice bush swallowtail and the right wing is typical of a male a gender role smashing icon This was sweet鈥 until someone made this about goddamn gender roles. It鈥檚 not about 鈥榞ender roles鈥! Bilateral gynandromorphism is a really interesting, uncommon genetic phenomenon seen in a number of animals that have ZW sex chromosomes. They work quite differently from human鈥檚 X and Y chromosomes. In some circumstances, it鈥檚 possible for an individual to develop with two entirely different sets of genes鈥搃n this case, divided in a perfect split down the body. It鈥檚 not very well understood, and some scientists consider it a form of chimerism鈥 but it鈥檚 really cool and worth talking about! OP had a genetically interesting surprise.聽 Oh make no mistake a 鈥榖iologicist鈥 transphobe got pissed this thread is even better. Also chicken nugget is beautiful!
For Him: Roberk Vanse
 Mark Humph
 oma Progra

 Robert We
 Michae
 Marjut Mier
 Mark
 e with
 Diploma Program
secretlycrazyhummingbird:

glumshoe:

dentedproduct:

frivolousphantasies:

magical-game:

mementoviviere:

coffeehedonist:


oddity-txt:


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rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath:

oddity-txt:

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oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

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oddity-txt:

So I found this caterpillar on my way to class 

We鈥檙e bros

I named him chicken nugget

Aaaa he鈥檚 turning a duller color鈥 I hope he鈥檚 alright

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate.
He was making little silk things everywhere 
Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn鈥檛 messing around


update hes entirely yellow now


i made him a tube room
hes crawlin all over the place checking it out


its happening

False alarm he moved a bitThis guy


??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna


whats he doing


its happening part 2 For Real This Time


chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway


i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now
hes been chillin like this for a couple days聽

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now馃帀馃悰馃帀

let me know how he鈥檚 doing soon


HES BUSTIN OUT


im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up
hope he doesnt party too hard聽


馃悰


馃挙 

馃挙 







hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage


CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!


hes鈥檚 in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit


this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang


https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0
there he goes he鈥檚 free and im so proud and a little sad
this was an incredible experience
(thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background)


I鈥檝e seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I鈥檓 getting pissed, anyway here鈥檚 the full chicken nugget saga.


Awesome! Hope you鈥檙e happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget!

I have missed this post so much! Let鈥檚 all celebrate Chicken Nugget!


do you guys realize that,,,, chicken nugget is one of those butterflies that is perfectly half female and half male?? nugget鈥檚 left wing is typical of a female spice bush swallowtail and the right wing is typical of a male
a gender role smashing icon

This was sweet鈥 until someone made this about goddamn gender roles.

It鈥檚 not about 鈥榞ender roles鈥! Bilateral gynandromorphism is a really interesting, uncommon genetic phenomenon seen in a number of animals that have ZW sex chromosomes. They work quite differently from human鈥檚 X and Y chromosomes. In some circumstances, it鈥檚 possible for an individual to develop with two entirely different sets of genes鈥搃n this case, divided in a perfect split down the body. It鈥檚 not very well understood, and some scientists consider it a form of chimerism鈥 but it鈥檚 really cool and worth talking about! OP had a genetically interesting surprise.聽


Oh make no mistake a 鈥榖iologicist鈥 transphobe got pissed this thread is even better.
Also chicken nugget is beautiful!

secretlycrazyhummingbird: glumshoe: dentedproduct: frivolousphantasies: magical-game: mementoviviere: coffeehedonist: oddity-txt:...