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fins: Alcohol : Gives you fins
 fins: Alcohol : Gives you fins

Alcohol : Gives you fins

fins: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
 fins: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate...

fins: yeezyslides i dont understand why vegans keep eating salmon like thats a gateway food to salmonella colormipretty Vegans can eat salmon? I thought they couldn't eat meat or food from animals yeezyslides well salmon isnt rlly an animal, its a fish cinnamonvenus So fish aren't animals? yeezyslides theyre not animals, theyre fish cinnamonvenus How do you define the word animal, sis? cinnamonrollwithit i'm sorry, can we take like, three steps back and look at the fact that op thinks that eating salmon is the direct cause of salmonella? tired-beans IT'S CALLED PESCETARIAN, NOT VEGAN, NOT VEGETARIAN. PESCETARIA N. FISH ARE ANIMALS, THEY EAT, THEY BREATHE, THEY SHIT, THEY REPRODUCE AHSHFJAKDJ yeezyslides 1st of all bring down ur tone 2th of all it isnt pescatarian bc fish arent part of the animal kingdom their FISH.. and u ppl call me stupid imagine being this ignornant and typing in all caps... nobody said fish dont reproduce or shit but they dont breathe bc theyre in water wtf u cant breahe underwater ur so dumb artistsregret fish IS NOUN fishes (olural noun) a limbless cold-blooded vertebrate animal with gills and fins and living wholly in water the sea is thick with sh the flesh of fish as food hot crab appetcers stuffed with fish the zodiacal sign or constellation Pisces used in names of invertebrate animals living wholly in water, eg., cuttlefish, shelfish, jellyfish. So you mean to tell me. They're not animals? yeezyslides now ur switching my words. i never said that fish arent animal artistsregret "So fish arent animals?" They're not animals, they're fish" Fish are in fact animals, I'm sorry to say. yeezyslides i dont recall sereniv this is a fucking train wreck now ur switching my words
 fins: yeezyslides
 i dont understand why vegans keep eating salmon
 like thats a gateway food to salmonella
 colormipretty
 Vegans can eat salmon? I thought they couldn't eat
 meat or food from animals
 yeezyslides
 well salmon isnt rlly an animal, its a fish
 cinnamonvenus
 So fish aren't animals?
 yeezyslides
 theyre not animals, theyre fish
 cinnamonvenus
 How do you define the word animal, sis?
 cinnamonrollwithit
 i'm sorry, can we take like, three steps back and look
 at the fact that op thinks that eating salmon is the
 direct cause of salmonella?
 tired-beans
 IT'S CALLED PESCETARIAN, NOT VEGAN, NOT
 VEGETARIAN. PESCETARIA N. FISH ARE
 ANIMALS, THEY EAT, THEY BREATHE, THEY SHIT,
 THEY REPRODUCE AHSHFJAKDJ
 yeezyslides
 1st of all bring down ur tone 2th of all it isnt
 pescatarian bc fish arent part of the animal kingdom
 their FISH.. and u ppl call me stupid imagine being
 this ignornant and typing in all caps... nobody said
 fish dont reproduce or shit but they dont breathe bc
 theyre in water wtf u cant breahe underwater ur so
 dumb
 artistsregret
 fish
 IS
 NOUN
 fishes (olural noun)
 a limbless cold-blooded vertebrate animal with gills and fins and living wholly in water
 the sea is thick with sh
 the flesh of fish as food
 hot crab appetcers stuffed with fish
 the zodiacal sign or constellation Pisces
 used in names of invertebrate animals living wholly in water, eg., cuttlefish, shelfish, jellyfish.
 So you mean to tell me. They're not animals?
 yeezyslides
 now ur switching my words. i never said that fish
 arent animal
 artistsregret
 "So fish arent animals?"
 They're not animals, they're
 fish"
 Fish are in fact animals, I'm sorry to say.
 yeezyslides
 i dont recall
 sereniv
 this is a fucking train wreck
now ur switching my words

now ur switching my words

fins: angryvoiddetective: bunjywunjy: karn-libated: saunter-vaguely-into-a-bookshop: iamemeraldfox: simonalkenmayer: build-a-diy: 8-foot giant squid pillow. You’ll need: 2 yards of felt 1 yard of patterned fabric (I suggest a polka dot-type pattern so it looks like suction cups) 1 medium piece of black felt, 1 medium piece of white felt (for the eyes) white thread, black thread and thread of the same color as the felt you’re using pins about 5 lbs. of stuffing a couple big sheets of paper to draw your pattern First, you need to draw out your patterns. Here’s a basic template to get you started, although most of the measurements are reasonably fudgeable. If in the likely event you don’t have any four-foot-long pieces of paper lying around, just tape a few pieces together. Once you’ve drawn out your eight patterns, it’s time to cut the fabric. Pin the pattern to the fabric, laid flat, and cut out the following, leaving a half an inch or so of extra fabric around the edge of the pattern: FOR THE ARMS: 8 felt and 8 fabric cutouts of piece 1 FOR THE, UH, LONGER ARMS: 2 felt and 2 fabric cutouts of piece 2 FOR THE BODY: 2 felt cutouts of piece 3 FOR THE FIN: 4 felt cutouts of piece 4 FOR THE HEAD: 1 felt cutouts of piece 6 FOR THE EYES: 2 white felt cutouts of piece 7 and 2 black felt cutouts of piece 8 So now you’ve got all your pieces ready, it’s time to start sewing them together. I did mine by hand because my sewing machine is busted and I get a kind of Zen buzz from sewing by hand, but if you have a non-busted one I recommend that you use it as it will be MUCH EASIER. You’re going to be sewing everything with the nice side of the fabric facing in, then turning it inside out to stuff it. THE ARMS: (To make a quilted pattern that looks like suckers, see this other post). Pin together one patterned fabric piece 1 and one felt piece 1 (with the nice sides facing the inside). Sew down around the U-shape and back up, leaving the top open. Then turn the arm inside out, stuff it (it’s easiest to do both of these things if you sort of scrunch it up like you’re trying to put on a pair of tights, excuse the non-dude-friendly reference) and sew the top closed. Do the same for the other seven arms and rejoice in the fact that this is the most tedious part. Same deal with the two long arms, they’re just harder to stuff. THE FINS: Pin together two of your piece 4s and sew together the curvy outer edge. Turn the piece inside out, so the seam you just sewed is on the inside, and start sewing up the other side, stuffing gradually as you go along. You should end up with a triangle-ish puffy thing. Repeat for the other two piece 4s. THE BODY: Put down one piece 3, then place the two fins you have down with the point up and the curvy side pointing in, then make a sandwich by putting the other piece 3 down on top. Pin it all together and sew around the edges with the two fins still inside, as shown. Turn it inside out and move on to… THE HEAD: So take piece 6 and the ten arms you’ve already done. Lay the arms, fabric side facing you, out with the arms’ top seams in a line half an inch from the top of piece 6. The order should be arm arm arm arm BIG ARM arm arm arm arm BIG ARM. The legs should be almost entirely covering piece 6. Pin them in place and sew a straight line through the individual legs seams to attach the legs to piece 6. When you pick up the other side of piece 6, you now have something resembling a really weird untied hula skirt. Sew together the two 9-inch ends of piece 6 with the fabric side of the arms on the outside, and keep it inside out for the moment. PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: Fit the open end of the body through the arms (still fabric side facing out) and pull the edge all the way through the felt cylinder so it’s even with the edge that DOESN’T have arms attached to it. Sew around the diameters of the head cylinder and the body cylinder to attach them, then pull the legs down over the head and you’re almost done! Stuff the body, then seal it off by sewing piece 5 over the open end (even if you do have a functional sewing machine, you’ll probably have to do this part by hand). THE EYES: Sew the black circles on the white circles and whipstitch the eyes onto the head. You do this last because you can’t tell where they’re going to end up on the end product if you put them on before stuffing the body. Oh my! The only plushie I’d allow on my couch. Goals tbh I adore this @bunjywunjy this seems like your kind of squid a friend of mine has one of these in red and green plaid and we called him Christmas Squid and used him instead of a tree @ceriseal
 fins: angryvoiddetective:
bunjywunjy:

karn-libated:

saunter-vaguely-into-a-bookshop:

iamemeraldfox:


simonalkenmayer:

build-a-diy:

8-foot giant squid pillow.
You’ll need:
2 yards of felt
1 yard of patterned fabric (I suggest a polka dot-type pattern so it looks like suction cups)
1 medium piece of black felt, 1 medium piece of white felt (for the eyes)
white thread, black thread and thread of the same color as the felt you’re using
pins
about 5 lbs. of stuffing
a couple big sheets of paper to draw your pattern
First, you need to draw out your patterns. Here’s a basic template to get you started, although most of the measurements are reasonably fudgeable. If in the likely event you don’t have any four-foot-long pieces of paper lying around, just tape a few pieces together.
Once you’ve drawn out your eight patterns, it’s time to cut the fabric. Pin the pattern to the fabric, laid flat, and cut out the following, leaving a half an inch or so of extra fabric around the edge of the pattern:
FOR THE ARMS: 8 felt and 8 fabric cutouts of piece 1
FOR THE, UH, LONGER ARMS: 2 felt and 2 fabric cutouts of piece 2
FOR THE BODY: 2 felt cutouts of piece 3
FOR THE FIN: 4 felt cutouts of piece 4
FOR THE HEAD: 1 felt cutouts of piece 6
FOR THE EYES: 2 white felt cutouts of piece 7 and 2 black felt cutouts of piece 8
So now you’ve got all your pieces ready, it’s time to start sewing them together. I did mine by hand because my sewing machine is busted and I get a kind of Zen buzz from sewing by hand, but if you have a non-busted one I recommend that you use it as it will be MUCH EASIER. You’re going to be sewing everything with the nice side of the fabric facing in, then turning it inside out to stuff it.
THE ARMS: (To make a quilted pattern that looks like suckers, see this other post). Pin together one patterned fabric piece 1 and one felt piece 1 (with the nice sides facing the inside). Sew down around the U-shape and back up, leaving the top open. Then turn the arm inside out, stuff it (it’s easiest to do both of these things if you sort of scrunch it up like you’re trying to put on a pair of tights, excuse the non-dude-friendly reference) and sew the top closed. Do the same for the other seven arms and rejoice in the fact that this is the most tedious part. Same deal with the two long arms, they’re just harder to stuff.
THE FINS: Pin together two of your piece 4s and sew together the curvy outer edge. Turn the piece inside out, so the seam you just sewed is on the inside, and start sewing up the other side, stuffing gradually as you go along. You should end up with a triangle-ish puffy thing. Repeat for the other two piece 4s.
THE BODY: Put down one piece 3, then place the two fins you have down with the point up and the curvy side pointing in, then make a sandwich by putting the other piece 3 down on top. Pin it all together and sew around the edges with the two fins still inside, as shown. Turn it inside out and move on to…

THE HEAD: So take piece 6 and the ten arms you’ve already done. Lay the arms, fabric side facing you, out with the arms’ top seams in a line half an inch from the top of piece 6. The order should be arm arm arm arm BIG ARM arm arm arm arm BIG ARM. The legs should be almost entirely covering piece 6. Pin them in place and sew a straight line through the individual legs seams to attach the legs to piece 6.
When you pick up the other side of piece 6, you now have something resembling a really weird untied hula skirt. Sew together the two 9-inch ends of piece 6 with the fabric side of the arms on the outside, and keep it inside out for the moment.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: Fit the open end of the body through the arms (still fabric side facing out) and pull the edge all the way through the felt cylinder so it’s even with the edge that DOESN’T have arms attached to it. Sew around the diameters of the head cylinder and the body cylinder to attach them, then pull the legs down over the head and you’re almost done!
Stuff the body, then seal it off by sewing piece 5 over the open end (even if you do have a functional sewing machine, you’ll probably have to do this part by hand).
THE EYES: Sew the black circles on the white circles and whipstitch the eyes onto the head. You do this last because you can’t tell where they’re going to end up on the end product if you put them on before stuffing the body.

Oh my!


The only plushie I’d allow on my couch. Goals tbh


I adore this


@bunjywunjy this seems like your kind of squid

a friend of mine has one of these in red and green plaid and we called him Christmas Squid and used him instead of a tree

@ceriseal

angryvoiddetective: bunjywunjy: karn-libated: saunter-vaguely-into-a-bookshop: iamemeraldfox: simonalkenmayer: build-a-diy: 8-foot...

fins: LA VIR PARISIENNE sous LA GLACE SERVEE La Parisenne deviendrait elle looeese Ou yit beaucoup mokes de yantaleus, cette asnie t finkspiration: kendrene: yamino: gay-and-disorganized: flukeoffate: nestofstraightlines: feminism-is-radical: snowwhite638: captain-snark: derinthemadscientist: chimericaloutlier: lemonsharks: qglas: startrekrenegades: knivesandglitter: discursivetacenda: belovedtraveler: newvagabond: This will always remain my favorite vintage lesbian art… Do I even have to break it down for you? I just thought it was a mermaid trapped under ice the caption says “Are Parisian women becoming more thrifty? Seeing a lot of different types of panties this year!”presumably half those girls are commando or wearing thongs. this is totally lesbian pinup ads. If it were just a mermaid trapped under ice, there would be no reason all the skaters above the ice are wearing skirts and are presumably women. also look at that mermaid’s smile she knows what’s up. I feel the need to correct the French translation, primarily because I’m garbage, but also because the actual translation has a significantly different meaning than what is written above.  The French says, “La Parisienne deviendrait elle économe ? … On voit beaucoup moins de pantalons, cette année ?” “Are Parisian women becoming thrifty? Seeing much fewer pant(ie)s this year!”  I know I’ve reblogged this 5000x before but 1. Never with that corrected translation and 2. I don’t care this is a great ad but how is she smoking under water? Lesbian mermaid magic The cigarette indicates it’s sexual too. Although I agree that it being usable underwater is a baffling detail I think the cigarette is to make damn sure you know it’s sexual. Cigarettes were often used in movies and art to indicate that that woman is a lesbian! Also see how she has 2 fins not one? It symbolises trousers instead of a skirt, another way to hint at the woman being a lesbian in artwork at the time. I’m just incredibly relived for the corrected translation, the nonsensical-ness of ‘thrifty = more pants’ has troubled me for a while now. GUYS. Although it is made to look like a cigarette–look at the box next to her. It’s a sardine box. She is holding her last sardine like a cigarette. So it actually makes more sense than a cigarette under water…. (Obviously the sexy cigarette imagery is still there, it’s just a clever way to work around the water bit) this post is just the gift that keeps on giving. I can’t even imagine being SO STRAIGHT that I’d think this was “just a mermaid trapped under ice” smh @lesbian-sorceress @clexcallysto I’m obsessed with this painting, I have it hanging in my house, and I never realized it was a sardine she had in her fingers before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I’m SHIVERED
 fins: LA VIR PARISIENNE
 sous LA GLACE
 SERVEE
 La Parisenne deviendrait elle looeese Ou yit beaucoup mokes de yantaleus, cette asnie t
finkspiration:
kendrene:

yamino:

gay-and-disorganized:

flukeoffate:

nestofstraightlines:

feminism-is-radical:

snowwhite638:

captain-snark:

derinthemadscientist:

chimericaloutlier:

lemonsharks:

qglas:

startrekrenegades:

knivesandglitter:

discursivetacenda:

belovedtraveler:

newvagabond:

This will always remain my favorite vintage lesbian art… Do I even have to break it down for you?

I just thought it was a mermaid trapped under ice

the caption says “Are Parisian women becoming more thrifty? Seeing a lot of different types of panties this year!”presumably half those girls are commando or wearing thongs. this is totally lesbian pinup ads.

If it were just a mermaid trapped under ice, there would be no reason all the skaters above the ice are wearing skirts and are presumably women. also look at that mermaid’s smile she knows what’s up.

I feel the need to correct the French translation, primarily because I’m garbage, but also because the actual translation has a significantly different meaning than what is written above. 
The French says, “La Parisienne deviendrait elle économe ? … On voit beaucoup moins de pantalons, cette année ?” “Are Parisian women becoming thrifty? Seeing much fewer pant(ie)s this year!” 

I know I’ve reblogged this 5000x before but 1. Never with that corrected translation and 2. I don’t care

this is a great ad but how is she smoking under water?

Lesbian mermaid magic

The cigarette indicates it’s sexual too.
Although I agree that it being usable underwater is a baffling detail

I think the cigarette is to make damn sure you know it’s sexual.

Cigarettes were often used in movies and art to indicate that that woman is a lesbian!

Also see how she has 2 fins not one? It symbolises trousers instead of a skirt, another way to hint at the woman being a lesbian in artwork at the time.

I’m just incredibly relived for the corrected translation, the nonsensical-ness of ‘thrifty = more pants’ has troubled me for a while now.

GUYS.
Although it is made to look like a cigarette–look at the box next to her. It’s a sardine box. She is holding her last sardine like a cigarette. So it actually makes more sense than a cigarette under water….
(Obviously the sexy cigarette imagery is still there, it’s just a clever way to work around the water bit)

this post is just the gift that keeps on giving.

I can’t even imagine being SO STRAIGHT that I’d think this was “just a mermaid trapped under ice” smh


@lesbian-sorceress @clexcallysto

I’m obsessed with this painting, I have it hanging in my house, and I never realized it was a sardine she had in her fingers before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I’m SHIVERED

finkspiration: kendrene: yamino: gay-and-disorganized: flukeoffate: nestofstraightlines: feminism-is-radical: snowwhite638: captai...

fins: stoneyboboney tumbl Follow urbanoceanbx hapter 3 1 g car and f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the finst two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like phn Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly terrible Se clledt He was tall and he grandtheftautosanandreas Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters the-fandoms-are-valentines they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay "He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis." Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you. "He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way of "It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro." "If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly nudityandnerdery And, of course The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. drinkmasturbatecry the one that will always stay with me is "Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath," i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words marsdaydream I will reblog this every time l see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language ladyscientia Douglas Adams understands me Source:kingwizardandthelizardgizzard #42 #yes this #ahahaha #Douglas Adams 436,335 notes Douglas Adams appreciation post
 fins: stoneyboboney
 tumbl
 Follow
 urbanoceanbx
 hapter 3 1
 g car and
 f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David
 Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another
 David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the finst
 two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty
 robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like
 phn Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly
 terrible
 Se
 clledt
 He was tall and he
 grandtheftautosanandreas
 Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
 the-fandoms-are-valentines
 they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
 "He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying
 to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis."
 Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy
 puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost
 infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.
 "He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the
 wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy
 fooling around with some leaves a little way of
 "It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and
 escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro."
 "If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable
 hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal
 not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued
 parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a
 knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly
 nudityandnerdery
 And, of course
 The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
 drinkmasturbatecry
 the one that will always stay with me is "Arthur Dent was grappling with his
 consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath," i feel
 like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words
 marsdaydream
 I will reblog this every time l see it because these are some of my favorite
 sentences in the English language
 ladyscientia
 Douglas Adams understands me
 Source:kingwizardandthelizardgizzard
 #42
 #yes this
 #ahahaha
 #Douglas Adams
 436,335 notes
Douglas Adams appreciation post

Douglas Adams appreciation post

fins: wildsoulsonearth: 10 Reasons Why Orca Whales Should NOT be at Seaworld (Or Any Marine Park)In the wild, orcas swim up to 100 miles a day. They are confined into a small tank in captivity. Their collapsed dorsal fins (pictured above) are a sign of an unhealthy whale. All male orcas in captivity have a collapsed dorsal fin. Less than 1% of orcas have this condition in the wild.Orcas do not live up to their nickname “killer whale”. There has not been one incident of an orca killing a human in the wild. However, in captivity, orcas have killed 3 humans and injured 151 reported injury incidences.On average, orcas live up to 50 years old in the wild. Some females have been reported to live 80-100 years old. Seaworld’s average orca life span is 13 years old.Family is important to orcas. In the wild, their pods include generations upon generations of their family. Marine parks do not keep their families together. In fact, babies are taken from their mothers. This is psychologically traumatizing to the whales. Whale fights are common in the tanks because they are not in their pods and they are, literally, mentally ill. In a tank, whales can’t flee from fights like they can in the wild. These whales get brutally injured and sometimes killed by other whales in the tank.Pods have their own languages. In a tank with other whales who have different languages. Imagine living with somebody who speaks a different language with you and you cannot use hand motions. Frustrating right?Not only are the tanks in marine parks WAY too small for this wild animal, in the wild, marine mammals live in a habitat full of MANY other marine plants and animals. In captivity, they live in a cement, chlorinated tank.Since 1961, 141 whales have been captured. 125 of these whales have died.The brain of an orca is 4 times larger than the human brain. It has been confirmed their intelligence matches to ours, if not more.Just imagine living in cement room with a few other people who don’t speak your language. Imagine not knowing if you will ever see your family again. Imagine being forced to do performances for others and being fed one thing for the rest of your life. Imagine being confined in a cement room when there is a whole world out there to explore.So, how can you help? It’s easy! boycott sea world. Without the revenue, they are forced to shut down their business. Also, education is important. Remind the public of what is going on. 
 fins: wildsoulsonearth:

10 Reasons Why Orca Whales Should NOT be at Seaworld (Or Any Marine Park)In the wild, orcas swim up to 100 miles a day. They are confined into a small tank in captivity. Their collapsed dorsal fins (pictured above) are a sign of an unhealthy whale. All male orcas in captivity have a collapsed dorsal fin. Less than 1% of orcas have this condition in the wild.Orcas do not live up to their nickname “killer whale”. There has not been one incident of an orca killing a human in the wild. However, in captivity, orcas have killed 3 humans and injured 151 reported injury incidences.On average, orcas live up to 50 years old in the wild. Some females have been reported to live 80-100 years old. Seaworld’s average orca life span is 13 years old.Family is important to orcas. In the wild, their pods include generations upon generations of their family. Marine parks do not keep their families together. In fact, babies are taken from their mothers. This is psychologically traumatizing to the whales. Whale fights are common in the tanks because they are not in their pods and they are, literally, mentally ill. In a tank, whales can’t flee from fights like they can in the wild. These whales get brutally injured and sometimes killed by other whales in the tank.Pods have their own languages. In a tank with other whales who have different languages. Imagine living with somebody who speaks a different language with you and you cannot use hand motions. Frustrating right?Not only are the tanks in marine parks WAY too small for this wild animal, in the wild, marine mammals live in a habitat full of MANY other marine plants and animals. In captivity, they live in a cement, chlorinated tank.Since 1961, 141 whales have been captured. 125 of these whales have died.The brain of an orca is 4 times larger than the human brain. It has been confirmed their intelligence matches to ours, if not more.Just imagine living in cement room with a few other people who don’t speak your language. Imagine not knowing if you will ever see your family again. Imagine being forced to do performances for others and being fed one thing for the rest of your life. Imagine being confined in a cement room when there is a whole world out there to explore.So, how can you help? It’s easy! boycott sea world. Without the revenue, they are forced to shut down their business. Also, education is important. Remind the public of what is going on. 

wildsoulsonearth: 10 Reasons Why Orca Whales Should NOT be at Seaworld (Or Any Marine Park)In the wild, orcas swim up to 100 miles a day...

fins: ch in fully k tti Chapter 3 1 ng he west ing car and f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty each robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like d dream of enly fling the terrible eously. So rminedly ecalled" John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingy amiliar He was tall and he gangled. marsdaydream: drinkmasturbatecry: nudityandnerdery: the-fandoms-are-valentines: grandtheftautosanandreas: Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay “He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.” “Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.” “He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.” “It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.” “If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.” And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.” the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words. I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.
 fins: ch in
 fully k
 tti
 Chapter 3 1
 ng
 he west
 ing car and
 f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David
 Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another
 David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first
 two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty
 each robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like
 d dream of
 enly fling
 the terrible
 eously. So
 rminedly
 ecalled" John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingy
 amiliar
 He was tall and he gangled.
marsdaydream:
drinkmasturbatecry:

nudityandnerdery:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.

marsdaydream: drinkmasturbatecry: nudityandnerdery: the-fandoms-are-valentines: grandtheftautosanandreas: Douglas Adams is the best w...

fins: ch in fully k tti Chapter 3 1 ng he west ing car and f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty each robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like d dream of enly fling the terrible eously. So rminedly ecalled" John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingy amiliar He was tall and he gangled. aeruh: marsdaydream: drinkmasturbatecry: nudityandnerdery: the-fandoms-are-valentines: grandtheftautosanandreas: Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay “He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.” “Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.” “He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.” “It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.” “If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.” And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.” the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words. I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language. @forest-of-books
 fins: ch in
 fully k
 tti
 Chapter 3 1
 ng
 he west
 ing car and
 f you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David
 Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another
 David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first
 two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty
 each robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like
 d dream of
 enly fling
 the terrible
 eously. So
 rminedly
 ecalled" John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingy
 amiliar
 He was tall and he gangled.
aeruh:

marsdaydream:

drinkmasturbatecry:

nudityandnerdery:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.


@forest-of-books

aeruh: marsdaydream: drinkmasturbatecry: nudityandnerdery: the-fandoms-are-valentines: grandtheftautosanandreas: Douglas Adams is t...