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Yourself

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Adam Sandler, Baby Daddy, and Beautiful: It was a gorgeous Thursday afternoon and like any Thursday I have free I chased the sun. Today it was to the totes beautiful Vista park in Davie. GORGEOUS panoramic views of Weston ish LP Long exhale. You get the jist gorgeous. And as much as I want to continue telling you how the soil smelt fresh with dew, the trees warm, the wood benches the complete opposite of scorching, this is not that story. This is a story that I could only have observed because of perfect timing. And a piss poor polish of my left spectacle. Well, here it is. While I walked on a downsloped west facing hill, to get this picture, I stopped for a moment to take in natures bounty. This may be nutures beauty as the hills are tens of years result of thousands of trash mounds that has been renovated and rebranded as one of the highest points in the south and great for social media. Hastag so kewl The picture is snapped. I'm about to go because duh, its a sunset. It'll happen tomorrow when i heard "ahhhhhh ahhhh ohhhh my god. Stacy! Fuck. Its everywhere. What the fuck! Get the wipes!" Now I can't blatantly look at whats going on. thanks to the beautiful sun setting the smudge on my glasses is giving a reflection of the two girls. I use this moment to take the glasses off and clean them away from the sun, in sight and ear shot. There's one in jean coveralls. She is, while laughing, using wet wipes AS A GLOVE to clean strings of wet gum off the other girls shoe, blanket and grass. It looks like a shoddy Halloween web. The other girl, in a summer dress craddles a new baby and is almost in tears sputtering expletives at the newly chomped and spit away white gum piece. Pieces? Its everywhere. The girl in coveralls is saying it will be okay while sundress is explaining her deep seated disdain for the herbaceous tongue tantalizer. "Please get all of it! I cant have i3r on here" "Dude its k, you can clean the blanket when you get home" It then comes out the baby daddy is majorly particular about his OCD and gum is high in his hit list. I almost lose their convo as I was deep thought about why the new parents hate the cow mimicking aid but was abruptly pulled back in with the screeching of "Stacy!!! Ugh its still on my shoes. My wedding sneakers!!!!!" She puts the baby down on blanket and THROWS BOTH THE DIAPER AND BOTTLE BAG. Like 3 meters. Who has a seperate bottle bag anyhow? Coveralls picks up the baby and takes another picture. I turn away hoping she doesn't realize my lurking. She doesnt seem to register me. "I'm sorry. I just get really frustrated with gum. I'm not cleaning that She references a wad of wet wipes. Covered in gum pieces in the grass. Wet wipes. The culprit of fatbergs. Smdh Coveralls shakes her head too and with the infant picks up the wipes and walks twevle feet to the garbage. Coveralls puts the baby back on the blanket and has doing so RIPS her pants. You could hear the tare over the approaching airplanes. Over any screech. I SWEAR THE SUN STOPPED SETTING And like any Adam Sandler movie Sundress began to laugh, Coveralls got all the gum off the belongings and the 3 of them promised to never tell daddy. So I guess the four of us promised. Best sunset ever.
Adam Sandler, Baby Daddy, and Beautiful: It was a gorgeous Thursday afternoon and like
 any Thursday I have free I chased the sun.
 Today it was to the totes beautiful Vista park in
 Davie. GORGEOUS panoramic views of Weston
 ish
 LP
 Long exhale. You get the jist gorgeous. And
 as much as I want to continue telling you how
 the soil smelt fresh with dew, the trees warm,
 the wood benches the complete opposite of
 scorching, this is not that story.
 This is a story that I could only have observed
 because of perfect timing. And a piss poor
 polish of my left spectacle.
 Well, here it is.
 While I walked on a downsloped west facing
 hill, to get this picture, I stopped for a moment
 to take in natures bounty.
 This may be nutures beauty as the hills are
 tens of years result of thousands of trash
 mounds that has been renovated and
 rebranded as one of the highest points in the
 south and great for social media. Hastag so
 kewl
 The picture is snapped. I'm about to go
 because duh, its a sunset. It'll happen
 tomorrow when i heard "ahhhhhh ahhhh ohhhh
 my god. Stacy! Fuck. Its everywhere. What the
 fuck! Get the wipes!"
 Now I can't blatantly look at whats going on.
 thanks to the beautiful sun setting the smudge
 on my glasses is giving a reflection of the two
 girls. I use this moment to take the glasses off
 and clean them away from the sun, in sight
 and ear shot. There's one in jean coveralls.
 She is, while laughing, using wet wipes AS A
 GLOVE to clean strings of wet gum off the
 other girls shoe, blanket and grass. It looks like
 a shoddy Halloween web. The other girl, in a
 summer dress craddles a new baby and is
 almost in tears sputtering expletives at the
 newly chomped and spit away white gum
 piece. Pieces? Its everywhere.
 The girl in coveralls is saying it will be okay
 while sundress is explaining her deep seated
 disdain for the herbaceous tongue tantalizer.
 "Please get all of it! I cant have i3r on here"
 "Dude its k, you can clean the blanket when
 you get home"
 It then comes out the baby daddy is majorly
 particular about his OCD and gum is high in his
 hit list.
 I almost lose their convo as I was deep
 thought about why the new parents hate the
 cow mimicking aid but was abruptly pulled
 back in with the screeching of
 "Stacy!!! Ugh its still on my shoes. My wedding
 sneakers!!!!!" She puts the baby down on
 blanket and THROWS BOTH THE DIAPER AND
 BOTTLE BAG. Like 3 meters. Who has a
 seperate bottle bag anyhow?
 Coveralls picks up the baby and takes another
 picture. I turn away hoping she doesn't realize
 my lurking. She doesnt seem to register me.
 "I'm sorry. I just get really frustrated with gum.
 I'm not cleaning that
 She references a wad of wet wipes. Covered in
 gum pieces in the grass. Wet wipes. The
 culprit of fatbergs. Smdh
 Coveralls shakes her head too and with the
 infant picks up the wipes and walks twevle
 feet to the garbage.
 Coveralls puts the baby back on the blanket
 and has doing so RIPS her pants. You could
 hear the tare over the approaching airplanes.
 Over any screech. I SWEAR THE SUN
 STOPPED SETTING And like any Adam
 Sandler movie Sundress began to laugh,
 Coveralls got all the gum off the belongings
 and the 3 of them promised to never tell
 daddy.
 So I guess the four of us promised.
 Best sunset ever.
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:



The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Camera, Open, and Accident: Me when I open my front facing camera on accident
Camera, Open, and Accident: Me when I open my front facing camera on accident

Me when I open my front facing camera on accident

Being Alone, Anime, and Apparently: Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:33:08 No. 595594484 >my eyes were fixed on ella >ella looks at me >she leans in with a funny smile on her face >her youthful breasts come closer to my face than ever before 'you are staring anon!"- she says calmly while giggling >my face turns into a mexican tomato plantation >she walks by me towards the ocean >looks back with a smile warmer than midday sun 'you coming? -and runs into the luke warm water while bouncing her perfect fanny 'i im in a minute, yeah >i wasnt about to display the biggest tent of my life in front of everyone >she voices a snappy laugh and starts backstroking away from the beach >i sit there and start reciting the multiplication table >as if i was with nicole in bed, trying to delay the inevitable >moments later i join her >"um.. sorry about before" - i apologize sheepishly "hahal dont worry about it, you should have seen pete's face when he first saw me in my underwear" >mfw ellainsexyunderwear.jpg >and we're back to where we started. good thing my tent is noW underwater >i try to speak but all im doing is keeping my mouth open without saying anything >ella is laughing hysterically >"are your serious anon?" 's-s-serious how?" are you seriously thinking of me in my underwear right now?" it. it comes and goes" - WHAT THE FUCK AMI SAYING ella laughs and splashes water to my face "come on underwear boy! swim!" she starts swimming i have nothing else to do but follow her >few moments later she stops swimming and turns to me hey.. did you call nicole? you guys talking, yes?" BUZZ KILL >'yeah. why?" good you keep doing that. than you can imagine me in my underwear all you want >she chuckles like a prankster and starts swimming back my mouth was like a keyboard with coffee spilled all over it >i followed her back to the beach Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:33:33 No. 595594547 >i spent the rest of the day thinking about nicole >thinking about pete >and thinking about ella >i really didnt have to think about ella, since she was suntanning her gorgeous body next to me >before everybody went home >ella asked me if i wanted to hang out with her next weekend i accepted, naturally >after i went home, my dad called >told me to get ready for a trip wut? >yeah... apparently, i was supposed to go to hong kong turns out, my dad is more connected than i previously believed >i had just a week left to spend in LA >then it was time for hong kong after i spoke to my dad, pete called >his voice was all fucked up >told me that ella broke up with her a week ago >i switched to bro mode and started calling ella a bitch and whatnot "dude.. stop.-he said calmly "she was right. this wasnt going anywhere..." how. what?" "look anon, i have nothing that i can offer to her"- pete started explaining he told me how ella was smarter than him and how it wasnt about sex or being an alpha and all that shit >basically like everything else about her, ella was not exactly your usual sorority girl she was in her own alpha-omega-fuckyou club >and pete had nothing more than 4 months worth of fashion class and a few dirty jokes to show for an admission "anyways... thought you should know man. take care"-and he hung up i was terrified when i realized my first thought was "now what doi do with nicole?" >and my next, what the fuck am i supposed to do in hong kong??? Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:33:52 No. 595594587 Replies: >595601482 595621427 next week, i decided to ask ella about what happened before we went to the museum we meet >kiss&hug >"sup anon!"-shes cheerful as usual sup ella... so pete called me >her head becomes apologetically heavy 'sorry for not telling you anon, didnt want you to think less of me before speaking to pete first why? ella looks at me, feeling stuck between her friendship with me and my friendship with pete wasnt working ano.. things dont always work out. what did pete say about me?" 'only good things" "what did you tell him?" "me? i was just. trying to be a bro i guess ella pouts "sorry for putting you in that situation" >this is the first time ive seen ella unable to drive the conversation >she looks way too submissive >i feel bad >'hey look... its ok, its not my place to say anything" - i try to comfort her ella looks at me, almost waiting for my approval >then i say >"lets move on, shall we? besides, we have a date"- WUUUUT ella blushes >i realize what ive just said and how it might be so easily misunderstood "ok we get inside the natural history museum and start wandering around aimlessly without talking >couldn't tell her that i was leaving for hong kong 2 days from now >both our minds are elsewhere we get to the prehistorics section >see the dinosaur skeletons she doesnt push it and saves me from my own demise and no, they DONT WALK then we get to the early humans or some other stuff i dunno i dont remember why but we stopped in front of this neanderthal skull on display we just look at it Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:34:11 No. 595594628 >kinda reminds me of something 'you know.. this looks somewhat familiar.- i say without looking at ella >ella doesnt say anything at first, but then >"BWAHAHAНАНАНАНАНАНАНАНА" >she loudly cracks an evil laughter in the middle of the fucking hall >she looks at me with a funny evil face with a crackled, badly impersonated manly voice 'i am a powerful demonic force! i am the harbinger of your doom! let me hear you scream in terror!" >X i remember X im melting right now >she gives me a warm smile and starts laughing >i remember why that skull looks so familiar >SHES FUCKING DOING MURRAY FROM FUCKING MONKEY ISLAND 3 >mylifeiscomplete.jpeg >everyone is looking at us like wtf is wrong with these people >i get so excited my hands start shaking oh.. i think i did it a bit too loud" -she whispers as she keeps chuckling >'you.. you played mi3?"-i ask her stammering oh i love it anon!"- she grins 'i figured you would remember murray, you being the adventure gamer and all >i have nothing to say >at that moment, ella stopped being a crush i could hardly admit to >and turned into my lifes goal i have no idea what to do with we started talking about monkey island >then full throttle >indiana jones and the fate of atlantis >all lucas arts games old we were cracking jokes >impersonating key characters >acting out funny moments >it got to the point of singing theme songs thats when we realized we are sitting next to a prehistoric animal >in the middle of the museum school adventures >talking about weird games and such like nerds >security is giving us funny looks we laughed about it and decided to leave Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:34:31 No. 595594672 >it was getting late, sun was about to set "hey anon, come home with me. have dinner with us again!"-ella grabbed my arm and asked me cheerfully "id love that!" >and we went to her house once more >her parents gladly welcomed me to their home >jake was in a summer camp or some such during dinner, all we could talk about was games >and anime, comics, the whole nerd nine yards >her mom and dad were giving each other smirky looks i didnt care >i was losing my mind >ella... the perfect girl.. >ella invited me to her room >and that was the first time ive seen ella's room >anime posters on the walls cute bed sheets with girly flowers and stuff A WHOLE FUCKING BOOKCASE FULL OF VIDYA >her neatly folded clothes everywhere a full repertoire of fashion pete studied to understand for a whole semester >a cute and girly elegance and a hardcore and tomboyish geekdom >the best of both worlds, if there was ever such a thing im at a loss for words" - i declare with my mouth wide open >ella chuckles and playfully punches my shoulder 'shut up.. what were you expecting? wall-to-wall posters of some boyband?" >"hahah. no, i.. i love it.." -i look around with a huge grin on my face "good now im going to beat your ass in mario kart again. sit down" >as she forcibly seats me on the floor and in front of a small tv >huge amounts of cute hearts gush out of all of my bodily orifices ella goes over to jake's room and brings the n64 >and we start playing >this is heaven.. Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:34:53 No. 595594731 >she kicks my ass in mario kart again we switch to SF she kicks my ass yet again next we try split screen 007 and guess what. she kicks my ass again >she fires up the PS and starts showing me MGS ive never played MGS until then, yeah dont judge ok? she starts telling me about the story, going crazy excited >shows me the controls and starts watching as i fumble around >laughs at my stupidity and ineptness every now and then i play and play, lose myself, immerse myself in the excellence of MGS >then i pause the >and realize that she has fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder her sweet vanilla and berry scent filling my lungs once more >she looks peaceful and happy >i quit the game and put down the controller i gently embrace her exquisite body >putting my arms behind her back and under her beautiful legs >the thin veneer of her skirt rolls back, revealing her thighs i carefully carry her to bed >tuck her in game just look at her and appreciate her unbelievable beauty for a moment >its 3 am, her parents must already be asleep >i dont have any way of returning home i tum off the tv and the lights grab a pack of neatly folded tshirts and use them as a makeshift pillow >and curl up on the floor >its hard to fall asleep, the floor is too uncomfy >i hear shuffling behind me >i figure she must be turning around in her sleep >then i feel her hand on my back >then over my shoulder >and she rests it on my chest, pulling a thin sheet of blanket over both of us her small feet play around and curl up next to mine as she spoons me >i grab her cold hand and press it firmly against my chest she mumbles and plants her face to the back of my neck >and i fall asleep, madly in love Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:35:11 No. 595594765 >next morning when i woke up, she was still sleeping during the night, we ended up facing each other when i opened my eyes, i found myself looking at her angelic face >her hair was all over me >her hand was still holding on to my shirt >like the time it was back on the plane i could feel her breath on my lips i wanted to stay there >more than anything, i wanted to lay next to her forever >and i wanted to kiss her so much >but all i could think of was nicole's face >i carefully reached for my phone in my pocket >nicole left me a text "hey you! wanted to surprise you before you go to hong kong, im in LAI call me when you wake up! i love you >OHSHIT gif >i go pale my mouth dries up my heart starts beating to a fight or flight moment i gently put ella's hand down >and back off without waking her up i grab my things and exit the house without anyone noticing i call nicole >she tells me to meet her on venice beach grab a bite to eat on the way >coffee to wake up >the moment i see her i realize the mistake ive made >my hair is all messed up >im still wearing yesterdays clothes >i didnt even brush my teeth and my entire body smells like ella's perfume nevergofullretard.avi >its too late >she sees me and starts running towards me >and jumps to my arms Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:35:36 No. 595594824 >she digs her lips into my mouth >holds me tightly >starts kissing me furiously >then she slows down and then completely stops her hands and arms lose their grasp on me >slowly pulls away >she gently pushes me back to take a better look at me >she sees the >her pupils dilate she starts turning red >her eyes fill with fury and anger like nothing ive seen before >her right hand pulls back and flies into my face >it lands perfectly my ears start ringing my vision is blurred she doesnt talk >i dont have anything to say for myself >i just stay there, with half of my face completely numb Sunable to face her, unable to look her in the eyes >she slowly turns around and starts walking >looks back you coming?"- she looks at me with tear filled mad eyes i obey and start following her we sit on a bench overlooking venice beach we sit there for a few minutes before she finally asks "did you sleep with her?"- she doesnt look at me no did you kiss her?" guilt and fear on my face >she stops for a moment i realize whats coming.. and its too late >she turns to me with a face full of tears of anger 'you.. youre in love with her????" >i cant say anything. i just sit there, my head as low as it can go >"for how FUCKING long, anon?"-her voice trembles "how long?.- she asks again, barely audible Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:35:55 No. 595594871 'i dont know" >she hesitates for a moment and then starts talking again >'i should have known... for the past month, you were all ella could talk about anon" >i couldnt believe what i was hearing >i wake up to the shock of this revelation >"she talked to you about me?"-i ask her, with a skeptical and messed up face 'yeah.- she opens her eyes wide, sarcastically >"can you believe that? you became her number one friend" "her confidant" "her bff" - she violently fingerquotes her snappish remark >i dont have anything to say to nicole >and i cant be angry at her for getting close to you, anon... >she stopped "but you..-she gets close to my face and puts her index finger sharply to my chest >'you should have known better" -tapping my chest with her finger .. >"answer me anon" - she whispers 'ANSWER MEI" >"WHAT??"-i turn to her >she jumped back with a surprise >this was the first time she has seen me scream at anyone, let alone her what do you want me to say nicole? thati love her? that i care for her? that no matter how i feel about you, i cant control how i also feel about her? that even when you and i were just friends and ella was with pete, i couldnt help but feel a strong desire for her?" nicole didnt talk she just stood there and watched me talk with a heartbroken face 'what do you want me to say nicole?" "what do you want me to say? that the first thing i felt was relief when pete told me that she broke up with him? ok..-she whispered and stared into the distance we continued to talk getting angry at each other at times >but it was more upsetting than vexing >after an hour of furious argument >we were tired >even when pissed off, nicole didnt hold back her love for me >she got close to me and put her head on my shoulder and we started watching the sunset
Being Alone, Anime, and Apparently: Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:33:08 No. 595594484
 >my eyes were fixed on ella
 >ella looks at me
 >she leans in with a funny smile on her face
 >her youthful breasts come closer to my face than ever before
 'you are staring anon!"- she says calmly while giggling
 >my face turns into a mexican tomato plantation
 >she walks by me towards the ocean
 >looks back with a smile warmer than midday sun
 'you coming? -and runs into the luke warm water while bouncing her perfect fanny
 'i im in a minute, yeah
 >i wasnt about to display the biggest tent of my life in front of everyone
 >she voices a snappy laugh and starts backstroking away from the beach
 >i sit there and start reciting the multiplication table
 >as if i was with nicole in bed, trying to delay the inevitable
 >moments later i join her
 >"um.. sorry about before" - i apologize sheepishly
 "hahal dont worry about it, you should have seen pete's face when he first saw me in my underwear"
 >mfw ellainsexyunderwear.jpg
 >and we're back to where we started. good thing my tent is noW underwater
 >i try to speak but all im doing is keeping my mouth open without saying anything
 >ella is laughing hysterically
 >"are your serious anon?"
 's-s-serious how?"
 are you seriously thinking of me in my underwear right now?"
 it. it comes and goes" - WHAT THE FUCK AMI SAYING
 ella laughs and splashes water to my face
 "come on underwear boy! swim!"
 she starts swimming
 i have nothing else to do but follow her
 >few moments later she stops swimming and turns to me
 hey.. did you call nicole? you guys talking, yes?"
 BUZZ KILL
 >'yeah. why?"
 good you keep doing that. than you can imagine me in my underwear all you want
 >she chuckles like a prankster and starts swimming back
 my mouth was like a keyboard with coffee spilled all over it
 >i followed her back to the beach
 Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:33:33 No. 595594547
 >i spent the rest of the day thinking about nicole
 >thinking about pete
 >and thinking about ella
 >i really didnt have to think about ella, since she was suntanning her gorgeous body next to me
 >before everybody went home
 >ella asked me if i wanted to hang out with her next weekend
 i accepted, naturally
 >after i went home, my dad called
 >told me to get ready for a trip
 wut?
 >yeah... apparently, i was supposed to go to hong kong
 turns out, my dad is more connected than i previously believed
 >i had just a week left to spend in LA
 >then it was time for hong kong
 after i spoke to my dad, pete called
 >his voice was all fucked up
 >told me that ella broke up with her a week ago
 >i switched to bro mode and started calling ella a bitch and whatnot
 "dude.. stop.-he said calmly
 "she was right. this wasnt going anywhere..."
 how. what?"
 "look anon, i have nothing that i can offer to her"- pete started explaining
 he told me how ella was smarter than him and how it wasnt about sex or being an alpha and all that shit
 >basically like everything else about her, ella was not exactly your usual sorority girl
 she was in her own alpha-omega-fuckyou club
 >and pete had nothing more than 4 months worth of fashion class and a few dirty jokes to show for an
 admission
 "anyways... thought you should know man. take care"-and he hung up
 i was terrified when i realized my first thought was
 "now what doi do with nicole?"
 >and my next,
 what the fuck am i supposed to do in hong kong???
 Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:33:52 No. 595594587 Replies: >595601482 595621427
 next week, i decided to ask ella about what happened before we went to the museum
 we meet
 >kiss&hug
 >"sup anon!"-shes cheerful as usual
 sup ella... so pete called me
 >her head becomes apologetically heavy
 'sorry for not telling you anon, didnt want you to think less of me before speaking to pete first
 why?
 ella looks at me, feeling stuck between her friendship with me and my friendship with pete
 wasnt working ano.. things dont always work out. what did pete say about me?"
 'only good things"
 "what did you tell him?"
 "me? i was just. trying to be a bro i guess
 ella
 pouts
 "sorry for putting you in that situation"
 >this is the first time ive seen ella unable to drive the conversation
 >she looks way too submissive
 >i feel bad
 >'hey look... its ok, its not my place to say anything" - i try to comfort her
 ella looks at me, almost waiting for my approval
 >then i say
 >"lets move on, shall we? besides, we have a date"- WUUUUT
 ella blushes
 >i realize what ive just said and how it might be so easily misunderstood
 "ok
 we get inside the natural history museum and start wandering around aimlessly
 without talking
 >couldn't tell her that i was leaving for hong kong 2 days from now
 >both our minds are elsewhere
 we get to the prehistorics section
 >see the dinosaur skeletons
 she doesnt push it and saves me from my own demise
 and no, they DONT WALK
 then we get to the early humans or some other stuff i dunno
 i dont remember why but we stopped in front of this neanderthal skull on display
 we just look at it
 Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:34:11 No. 595594628
 >kinda reminds me of something
 'you know.. this looks somewhat familiar.- i say without looking at ella
 >ella doesnt say anything at first, but then
 >"BWAHAHAНАНАНАНАНАНАНАНА"
 >she loudly cracks an evil laughter in the middle of the fucking hall
 >she looks at me with a funny evil face
 with a crackled, badly impersonated manly voice
 'i am a powerful demonic force! i am the harbinger of your doom! let me hear you scream in terror!"
 >X
 i remember
 X im melting right now
 >she gives me a warm smile and starts laughing
 >i remember why that skull looks so familiar
 >SHES FUCKING DOING MURRAY FROM FUCKING MONKEY ISLAND 3
 >mylifeiscomplete.jpeg
 >everyone is looking at us like wtf is wrong with these people
 >i get so excited my hands start shaking
 oh.. i think i did it a bit too loud" -she whispers as she keeps chuckling
 >'you.. you played mi3?"-i ask her stammering
 oh i love it anon!"- she grins
 'i figured you would remember murray, you being the adventure gamer and all
 >i have nothing to say
 >at that moment, ella stopped being a crush i could hardly admit to
 >and turned into my lifes goal i have no idea what to do with
 we started talking about monkey island
 >then full throttle
 >indiana jones and the fate of atlantis
 >all lucas arts games
 old
 we were cracking jokes
 >impersonating key characters
 >acting out funny moments
 >it got to the point of singing theme songs
 thats when we realized we are sitting next to a prehistoric animal
 >in the middle of the museum
 school adventures
 >talking about weird games and such like nerds
 >security is giving us funny looks
 we laughed about it and decided to leave
 Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:34:31 No. 595594672
 >it was getting late, sun was about to set
 "hey anon, come home with me. have dinner with us again!"-ella grabbed my arm and asked me cheerfully
 "id love that!"
 >and we went to her house once more
 >her parents gladly welcomed me to their home
 >jake was in a summer camp or some such
 during dinner, all we could talk about was games
 >and anime, comics, the whole nerd nine yards
 >her mom and dad were giving each other smirky looks
 i didnt care
 >i was losing my mind
 >ella... the perfect girl..
 >ella invited me to her room
 >and that was the first time ive seen ella's room
 >anime posters on the walls
 cute bed sheets with girly flowers and stuff
 A WHOLE FUCKING BOOKCASE FULL OF VIDYA
 >her neatly folded clothes everywhere
 a full repertoire of fashion pete studied to understand for a whole semester
 >a cute and girly elegance
 and a hardcore and tomboyish geekdom
 >the best of both worlds, if there was ever such a thing
 im at a loss for words" - i declare with my mouth wide open
 >ella chuckles and playfully punches my shoulder
 'shut up.. what were you expecting? wall-to-wall posters of some boyband?"
 >"hahah. no, i.. i love it.." -i look around with a huge grin on my face
 "good now im going to beat your ass in mario kart again. sit down"
 >as she forcibly seats me on the floor and in front of a small tv
 >huge amounts of cute hearts gush out of all of my bodily orifices
 ella goes over to jake's room and brings the n64
 >and we start playing
 >this is heaven..
 Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:34:53 No. 595594731
 >she kicks my ass in mario kart again
 we switch to SF
 she kicks my ass yet again
 next we try split screen 007
 and guess what. she kicks my ass again
 >she fires up the PS and starts showing me MGS
 ive never played MGS until then, yeah dont judge ok?
 she starts telling me about the story, going crazy excited
 >shows me the controls and starts watching as i fumble around
 >laughs at my stupidity and ineptness every now and then
 i play and play, lose myself, immerse myself in the excellence of MGS
 >then i pause the
 >and realize that she has fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder
 her sweet vanilla and berry scent filling my lungs once more
 >she looks peaceful and happy
 >i quit the game and put down the controller
 i gently embrace her exquisite body
 >putting my arms behind her back and under her beautiful legs
 >the thin veneer of her skirt rolls back, revealing her thighs
 i carefully carry her to bed
 >tuck her in
 game
 just look at her and appreciate her unbelievable beauty for a moment
 >its 3 am, her parents must already be asleep
 >i dont have any way of returning home
 i tum off the tv and the lights
 grab a pack of neatly folded tshirts and use them as a makeshift pillow
 >and curl up on the floor
 >its hard to fall asleep, the floor is too uncomfy
 >i hear shuffling behind me
 >i figure she must be turning around in her sleep
 >then i feel her hand on my back
 >then over my shoulder
 >and she rests it on my chest, pulling a thin sheet of blanket over both of us
 her small feet play around and curl up next to mine as she spoons me
 >i grab her cold hand and press it firmly against my chest
 she mumbles and plants her face to the back of my neck
 >and i fall asleep, madly in love
 Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:35:11 No. 595594765
 >next morning when i woke up, she was still sleeping
 during the night, we ended up facing each other
 when i opened my eyes, i found myself looking at her angelic face
 >her hair was all over me
 >her hand was still holding on to my shirt
 >like the time it was back on the plane
 i could feel her breath on my lips
 i wanted to stay there
 >more than anything, i wanted to lay next to her forever
 >and i wanted to kiss her so much
 >but all i could think of was nicole's face
 >i carefully reached for my phone in my pocket
 >nicole left me a text
 "hey you! wanted to surprise you before you go to hong kong, im in LAI call me when you wake up! i love
 you
 >OHSHIT gif
 >i go pale
 my mouth dries up
 my heart starts beating to a fight or flight moment
 i gently put ella's hand down
 >and back off without waking her up
 i grab my things and exit the house without anyone noticing
 i call nicole
 >she tells me to meet her on venice beach
 grab a bite to eat on the way
 >coffee to wake up
 >the moment i see her i realize the mistake ive made
 >my hair is all messed up
 >im still wearing yesterdays clothes
 >i didnt even brush my teeth
 and my entire body smells like ella's perfume
 nevergofullretard.avi
 >its too late
 >she sees me and starts running towards me
 >and jumps to my arms
 Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:35:36 No. 595594824
 >she digs her lips into my mouth
 >holds me tightly
 >starts kissing me furiously
 >then she slows down
 and then completely stops
 her hands and arms lose their grasp on me
 >slowly pulls away
 >she gently pushes me back to take a better look at me
 >she sees the
 >her pupils dilate
 she starts turning red
 >her eyes fill with fury and anger like nothing ive seen before
 >her right hand pulls back and flies into my face
 >it lands perfectly
 my ears start ringing
 my vision is blurred
 she doesnt talk
 >i dont have anything to say for myself
 >i just stay there, with half of my face completely numb
 Sunable to face her, unable to look her in the eyes
 >she slowly turns around and starts walking
 >looks back
 you coming?"- she looks at me with tear filled mad eyes
 i obey and start following her
 we sit on a bench overlooking venice beach
 we sit there for a few minutes before she finally asks
 "did you sleep with her?"- she doesnt look at me
 no
 did you kiss her?"
 guilt and fear on my face
 >she stops for a moment
 i realize whats coming.. and its too late
 >she turns to me with a face full of tears of anger
 'you.. youre in love with her????"
 >i cant say anything. i just sit there, my head as low as it can go
 >"for how FUCKING long, anon?"-her voice trembles
 "how long?.- she asks again, barely audible
 Anonymous 01/30/15(Fri)22:35:55 No. 595594871
 'i dont know"
 >she hesitates for a moment and then starts talking again
 >'i should have known... for the past month, you were all ella could talk about anon"
 >i couldnt believe what i was hearing
 >i wake up to the shock of this revelation
 >"she talked to you about me?"-i ask her, with a skeptical and messed up face
 'yeah.- she opens her eyes wide, sarcastically
 >"can you believe that? you became her number one friend"
 "her confidant"
 "her bff" - she violently fingerquotes her snappish remark
 >i dont have anything to say to nicole
 >and i cant be angry at her for getting close to you, anon...
 >she stopped
 "but you..-she gets close to my face and puts her index finger sharply to my chest
 >'you should have known better" -tapping my chest with her finger
 ..
 >"answer me anon" - she whispers
 'ANSWER MEI"
 >"WHAT??"-i turn to her
 >she jumped back with a surprise
 >this was the first time she has seen me scream at anyone, let alone her
 what do you want me to say nicole? thati love her? that i care for her? that no matter how i feel about you, i
 cant control how i also feel about her? that even when you and i were just friends and ella was with pete, i
 couldnt help but feel a strong desire for her?"
 nicole didnt talk she just stood there and watched me talk with a heartbroken face
 'what do you want me to say nicole?"
 "what do you want me to say? that the first thing i felt was relief when pete told me that she broke up with
 him?
 ok..-she whispered and stared into the distance
 we continued to talk
 getting angry at each other at times
 >but it was more upsetting than vexing
 >after an hour of furious argument
 >we were tired
 >even when pissed off, nicole didnt hold back her love for me
 >she got close to me and put her head on my shoulder
 and we started watching the sunset
Pro, Democracy, and Guinea: 6ANS Protesters facing prolicemen during ongoing deadly pro-democracy protests in Conakry, Guinea.
Pro, Democracy, and Guinea: 6ANS
Protesters facing prolicemen during ongoing deadly pro-democracy protests in Conakry, Guinea.

Protesters facing prolicemen during ongoing deadly pro-democracy protests in Conakry, Guinea.

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Jail, Logic, and Party: X Share Award 144 177 Immigrants_go_home Trump Supporter 4h Thats not what the investigation found at all? It was found that over 38 people were involved in mishandling classified information with regards to Hillary's private email. Reply Vote cthulhusleftnipple Nonsupporter 4h Do you agree that this shows no criminal wrongdoing by Clinton or her campaign? Can we lay to rest the idea that Clinton should have been prosecuted or put in jail for these allegations at this point? Vote Immigrants_go_home Trump Supporter 4h No, I don't agree with that claim at all. It proves she was given the white glove treatment and should have seen her day in court, where she would have lost facing this evidence. Vote Nonsupporter 3h So by that logic, does that mean Trump should be going to court AND charged/convicted over all of the people connected to him and their wrong doing? I don't mean to derail from Hillary's emails but many Trump supporters when it comes to European connections they say, "well Trump didn't do it so that's ok". And I'm curious to see where PersonBehindAScreen you, as a trump supporter, lay in this whole thing with that kind of logic Add a comment Trump supporter on r/asktrumpsupporters claims that having so many people connected to you with indictments in an email scandal makes you guilty, even if there is no evidence that YOUR PARTY couldn't find. So close to being self aware
Jail, Logic, and Party: X
 Share
 Award
 144
 177
 Immigrants_go_home Trump Supporter 4h
 Thats not what the investigation found at all? It was
 found that over 38 people were involved in mishandling
 classified information with regards to Hillary's private
 email.
 Reply
 Vote
 cthulhusleftnipple Nonsupporter 4h
 Do you agree that this shows no criminal wrongdoing
 by Clinton or her campaign? Can we lay to rest the idea
 that Clinton should have been prosecuted or put in jail
 for these allegations at this point?
 Vote
 Immigrants_go_home Trump Supporter 4h
 No, I don't agree with that claim at all. It proves she
 was given the white glove treatment and should have
 seen her day in court, where she would have lost
 facing this evidence.
 Vote
 Nonsupporter 3h
 So by that logic, does that mean Trump should
 be going to court AND charged/convicted over all
 of the people connected to him and their wrong
 doing? I don't mean to derail from Hillary's emails
 but many Trump supporters when it comes to
 European connections they say, "well Trump didn't
 do it so that's ok". And I'm curious to see where
 PersonBehindAScreen
 you, as a trump supporter, lay in this whole thing
 with that kind of logic
 Add a comment
Trump supporter on r/asktrumpsupporters claims that having so many people connected to you with indictments in an email scandal makes you guilty, even if there is no evidence that YOUR PARTY couldn't find. So close to being self aware

Trump supporter on r/asktrumpsupporters claims that having so many people connected to you with indictments in an email scandal makes you gu...

All Star, Crime, and Energy: October 18, 2019 www.kyivpost.com vol. 24, issue 42 Hladkovsky, top Poroshenko ally, arrested in defense corruption probe Chief Editor Brian Bonner on the 25th year of the Kyiv Post The Rising Hawk' brings Ivan Franko's Zakhar Berkut to the big screen Ukraine qualifies for Euro 2020 championship Entertainment Guide: What to do and where to go in Kyiv this week page 10 page 16 page 24 pages 12, 13 page 19 ivPost Ky KADORR Group year! UKRAINE'S GLOBAL VOICE Special Business Focus on Corporate Social Responsibility In partnership with: Farmak page 5-9 Shady Cast Of Characters Engineers of Trump-Ukraine scandal Washington players President of the United States Lawyers Gordon Sondland U.S. ambassador to the Europe an Union worked as a political hack doing Trump's bidding. Mick Mulvaney Acting White House chief of staff let Sondland, Volker, and Perry "the three amigos"-carry Gi uliani's water on Ukraine policy. Joseph diGenova Pro-Trump lawyer also works for Firtash along with his wife Victoria Toensing. Rudolph Giuliani, Trump's lawyer The off-the-rails former New York City mayor and former crime-busting prosecutor hijacked U.S. foreign policy on Ukraine John Dowd Another former Trump lawyer now repre senting Parnas, Fruman. Kurt Volker Rick Perry The energy secretary is accused of trying to change management of Naftogaz to favor U.S. friends in the energy business Ex-special envoy took part in effort to push Ukraine to supply dirt on Joe Biden, failed to protest Ambas- sador Marie Yovanovitch's firing. to serve Trump's political interests. Giuliani also collects huge fees from some truly reprehensible clients. He is now facing a criminal investigation in Manhattan. Dirt diggers & intermediaries Igor Fruman Lev Parnas John Another Giuliani Ukraine native Solomon Donald J. Trump AU.S. House impeachment inquiry is cornering him, exposing a sustained drive to pressure Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky into investigating his potential 2020 rival, Democratic ex-U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, and whether Ukraine interfered on behalf of Hil lary Clinton in the 2016 election. Trump's erratic foreign policy, putting his personal interests above national ones, and favoring dictators over democrats, is alienating foreiqn partners and the U.S. public alike. Singlehandedly fixer and one paid Giuliani $500,000 Worked with of four men responsible for reporting a lot of false charged with making illegal contributions both Guiliani and Firtash. and misleading Victoria Toensing to a pro-Trump committee. Now faces crim stories about inal charges Ukraine She and her husband, Joseph diGenova, have done work for Trump and Firtash. exandria Sheriff's Offic Aandria Sheriffs e Supporting roles in Ukraine Oligarch in exile TIPORYPATYPA A! Of Valentyn Nalyvaichenko Ex-top spy known for his ties to Firtash Andriy Telizhenko Ex-Ukrainian Embassy employee in Washington, D.C., told Giuliani what Yuriy Lutsenko Ex-top prosecutor with no credibility was willing to invent stories that the Trump Viktor Shokin Andriy Derkach Discredited lawmaker is part of the drive to dig up dirt on the Bidens Ex-top prosecutor who protected corruption says he was fired because of Biden and makes ridicu lous accusations in affidavit to support Firtash. Dmytro Firtash tries to curry favor with Trump in an Oct 10 Wall Street Journal op-ed. Exiled oligarch fighting U.S. extradition is suspected of stoking anti-Biden effort administration wanted to hear. he wanted to hear in May 17 meeting. page 2 Photos by AFP, Volodymyr Petrov, Andriy Telizhenko/facebook, Andriy Derkach/facebook, Victoria Toensing/facebook, U.S. Embassy in Ukraine, courtesy. All STAR TIGER CONFERENCE INTERNATIONAL 24/7 MULTI-PROFILE CLINIC MAPPING UKRAINE'S Kiev Realty INNOVATIVE FUTURE Get your FLU SHOT (France) +Consultation ONLY Innoware APARTMENTS OFFICES 550 UAH IS COMING ON DECEMBER 10 long-term rent / sale ERP, CRM& cloud solutions +38 (044) 490 22 20 Innoware.com 0 800 30 86 87 www.imp-clinic.com +38 (044) 22 33 177 +38 (067) 656 2023 allstarkievrealty.com Ukrainian newspaper roasts Trump’s ‘Shady Cast Of Characters’ 😂
All Star, Crime, and Energy: October 18, 2019
 www.kyivpost.com
 vol. 24, issue 42
 Hladkovsky, top Poroshenko
 ally, arrested in defense
 corruption probe
 Chief Editor Brian Bonner
 on the 25th year of the Kyiv
 Post
 The Rising Hawk' brings
 Ivan Franko's Zakhar Berkut
 to the big screen
 Ukraine qualifies for Euro
 2020 championship
 Entertainment Guide: What
 to do and where to go in Kyiv
 this week
 page 10
 page 16
 page 24
 pages 12, 13
 page 19
 ivPost
 Ky
 KADORR
 Group
 year!
 UKRAINE'S GLOBAL VOICE
 Special Business
 Focus on
 Corporate Social Responsibility
 In partnership with: Farmak
 page 5-9
 Shady Cast Of Characters
 Engineers of Trump-Ukraine scandal
 Washington players
 President of the United States
 Lawyers
 Gordon Sondland
 U.S. ambassador to the Europe
 an Union worked as a political
 hack doing Trump's bidding.
 Mick Mulvaney
 Acting White House chief of staff
 let Sondland, Volker, and Perry
 "the three amigos"-carry Gi
 uliani's water on Ukraine policy.
 Joseph diGenova
 Pro-Trump lawyer also works for Firtash
 along with his wife Victoria Toensing.
 Rudolph Giuliani, Trump's lawyer
 The off-the-rails former New York City mayor and former
 crime-busting prosecutor hijacked U.S. foreign policy on Ukraine
 John Dowd
 Another former Trump lawyer now repre
 senting Parnas, Fruman.
 Kurt Volker
 Rick Perry
 The energy secretary is accused
 of trying to change management
 of Naftogaz to favor U.S. friends in
 the energy business
 Ex-special envoy took part in effort
 to push Ukraine to supply dirt on
 Joe Biden, failed to protest Ambas-
 sador Marie Yovanovitch's firing.
 to serve Trump's political interests. Giuliani also collects huge
 fees from some truly reprehensible clients. He is now facing a
 criminal investigation in Manhattan.
 Dirt diggers & intermediaries
 Igor Fruman
 Lev Parnas
 John
 Another Giuliani
 Ukraine native
 Solomon
 Donald J. Trump
 AU.S. House impeachment inquiry is cornering him, exposing a
 sustained drive to pressure Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky
 into investigating his potential 2020 rival, Democratic ex-U.S. Vice
 President Joe Biden, and whether Ukraine interfered on behalf of Hil
 lary Clinton in the 2016 election. Trump's erratic foreign policy, putting
 his personal interests above national ones, and favoring dictators over
 democrats, is alienating foreiqn partners and the U.S. public alike.
 Singlehandedly
 fixer and one
 paid Giuliani
 $500,000
 Worked with
 of four men
 responsible
 for reporting
 a lot of false
 charged with
 making illegal
 contributions
 both Guiliani
 and Firtash.
 and misleading
 Victoria Toensing
 to a pro-Trump
 committee.
 Now faces crim
 stories about
 inal charges
 Ukraine
 She and her husband, Joseph diGenova,
 have done work for Trump and Firtash.
 exandria Sheriff's Offic
 Aandria Sheriffs e
 Supporting roles in Ukraine
 Oligarch in exile
 TIPORYPATYPA
 A!
 Of
 Valentyn Nalyvaichenko
 Ex-top spy known for his ties to Firtash
 Andriy Telizhenko
 Ex-Ukrainian Embassy employee in
 Washington, D.C., told Giuliani what
 Yuriy Lutsenko
 Ex-top prosecutor with no credibility was
 willing to invent stories that the Trump
 Viktor Shokin
 Andriy Derkach
 Discredited lawmaker is part of the
 drive to dig up dirt on the Bidens
 Ex-top prosecutor who protected corruption says
 he was fired because of Biden and makes ridicu
 lous accusations in affidavit to support Firtash.
 Dmytro Firtash
 tries to curry favor with Trump in an Oct
 10 Wall Street Journal op-ed.
 Exiled oligarch fighting U.S. extradition is
 suspected of stoking anti-Biden effort
 administration wanted to hear.
 he wanted to hear in May 17 meeting.
 page 2
 Photos by AFP, Volodymyr Petrov, Andriy Telizhenko/facebook, Andriy Derkach/facebook, Victoria Toensing/facebook, U.S. Embassy in Ukraine, courtesy.
 All STAR
 TIGER CONFERENCE
 INTERNATIONAL
 24/7
 MULTI-PROFILE CLINIC
 MAPPING UKRAINE'S
 Kiev Realty
 INNOVATIVE FUTURE
 Get your FLU SHOT (France)
 +Consultation
 ONLY
 Innoware APARTMENTS OFFICES
 550 UAH
 IS COMING ON DECEMBER 10
 long-term rent / sale
 ERP, CRM& cloud solutions
 +38 (044) 490 22 20
 Innoware.com
 0 800 30 86 87
 www.imp-clinic.com
 +38 (044) 22 33 177
 +38 (067) 656 2023
 allstarkievrealty.com
Ukrainian newspaper roasts Trump’s ‘Shady Cast Of Characters’ 😂

Ukrainian newspaper roasts Trump’s ‘Shady Cast Of Characters’ 😂

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Muslim, Chess, and Common: Here is President Trump's unbelievable strategy in Syria! By pulling our troops out of Syria, Turkey invaded Syria and assaulted the Kurds. Russians sent an envoy to Syria to make a deal between the Kurds and the Syrian government, uniting them against their common enemy, Turkey. The Iranians were not happy the Turks invaded Syria either, and so brought their troops to the border of Turkey. Moreover, Germany is now hitting Turkey with sanctions, because of its attack against the Kurds of Syria. Do you see what a chess player Trump is? As long as the United States was there, those forces were united against us. Trump's decision to withdraw our troops has now pitted these former allies against each other and it didn't cost us anything. Formerly, Turkey, Iran, Russia and Syria were united against the U.S. The Europeans were not involved and were enjoying U.S. protection of their interests, but now they have to fight for their own interests. This is good for Israel too, because Iran has to defend Syria against Turkey instead of focusing on harming Israel. The three enemies of Israel--Iran, Turkey, and Syria--are now facing off against each other. This invasion is gonna cost Turkey dearly! It brought unity between Syria and the Kurds, and division between Russia, Turkey, and Iran. This is just unbelievable what the President is doing! Just sit back and watch the three Muslim nations clobber each other. ~ Ramin Parsa The spin is making me dizzy.
Muslim, Chess, and Common: Here is President Trump's unbelievable strategy in
 Syria! By pulling our troops out of Syria, Turkey
 invaded Syria and assaulted the Kurds. Russians sent
 an envoy to Syria to make a deal between the Kurds
 and the Syrian government, uniting them against their
 common enemy, Turkey. The Iranians were not happy
 the Turks invaded Syria either, and so brought their
 troops to the border of Turkey.
 Moreover, Germany is now hitting Turkey with
 sanctions, because of its attack against the Kurds of
 Syria. Do you see what a chess player Trump is?
 As long as the United States was there, those forces
 were united against us. Trump's decision to withdraw
 our troops has now pitted these former allies against
 each other and it didn't cost us anything. Formerly,
 Turkey, Iran, Russia and Syria were united against the
 U.S. The Europeans were not involved and were
 enjoying U.S. protection of their interests, but now
 they have to fight for their own interests.
 This is good for Israel too, because Iran has to defend
 Syria against Turkey instead of focusing on harming
 Israel. The three enemies of Israel--Iran, Turkey, and
 Syria--are now facing off against each other. This
 invasion is gonna cost Turkey dearly! It brought unity
 between Syria and the Kurds, and division between
 Russia, Turkey, and Iran. This is just unbelievable
 what the President is doing! Just sit back and watch
 the three Muslim nations clobber each other. ~ Ramin
 Parsa
The spin is making me dizzy.

The spin is making me dizzy.

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Christmas, Fac, and Finance: westerns Br 1.7 ter 14 UK AND WORLD NEWS FRIDAY OCTONER 14 206 WESTERN MORNING NEWS uterres elected as ext UN supremo ras former prime ster Antonio uterre Deen elected a the nest ar al the os The N Ambly nlected नि ।।। । anuary 1 at sa tioe UN elected Mr by acclamation president Pet introduced the o elect him, said nted it adopted n and banged proval on second e vote l begin ation for a endum countemeasunes vessel-in the (ochs of westem Scotland, during a multple boat attack exeicihe umulating an attiack by FAC 0Fast thore Afack Craft, as part of a Royal Navy Joint Warior training exercise oed. The should onsider vote A Rating manning a General Purpose Machine Gun (GPMG) Watches a flare in the distance on board HMS Cattstock a Royal Navy Hunt dass mine Tesco and Unilever declare peace deal in 'Marmite war EU cific costs once the festive season Flora and Persil, is believed to have demanded a 10% price out the way The supply situation with Tesco involving the price of Marmite and other products has been successfully resolved, Dnilever said last night In a statement the company ald the items were once again ully available" 4.spokesman confirmed allever is pleased to confirm the supply situation with o in the UK and Ireland ow been successfully re "We always put our customers first and we're pleased this situation has been resolved to rise due to the falling value of our satisfaction. Earlier, Unilever's finance chief said that the price of Mar- miteand other products are set to rise as a result of the collapse around 18% of its value against In sterling, with experts warn- ing that consumers could have to stomach more pain in the new year Speaking alongside the group's third quarter results, powder, Comfort fabric condi chief financial officer Graeme Pitkethly said: "In the UK, naise, Pot Noodle and Ben & which accounts for 5% of Jerry's Ice Cream. turnover, prices should start to "No one wants to put pric up ahead of Christmas Othe may just wait until January It's only going to get m painful" he cautioned Mr Dresser added that Tesco row over prices with l tever was a "pre-cursor other moves by suppliers to up the costs of their produ MPs had condemned sterling, halting deliveries to Tesco when it refused. Since the EU referendum on June 23, the pound has lost the dollar, reaulting in higher costs for retailers The stand off had left the su permarket facing a shortage of brands such as Surf washing have been working to losely to reach this res and ensure our much- ands are once again ilable For all those inerease to cover the cost of im lyst at Grooery Insight, sald ed us, thanks for all ported goods due to weaker there was likely to be around of lever, saying the company tioner, Hellmann's mayon using Brexit as an excu exploit warned it may be damag brand Shares in both cos les took a hit s a rosult spat Ta Steven Dresser retail ana Soumsuoo sterling" The group, which is o spokesman said: also behind brands such price hikes in Janu Well done, Western Morning News.
Christmas, Fac, and Finance: westerns
 Br
 1.7
 ter
 14 UK AND WORLD NEWS FRIDAY OCTONER 14 206 WESTERN MORNING NEWS
 uterres elected as
 ext UN supremo
 ras former prime
 ster Antonio uterre
 Deen elected a the nest
 ar al the
 os The N
 Ambly nlected
 नि ।।। ।
 anuary 1 at sa tioe
 UN
 elected Mr
 by acclamation
 president Pet
 introduced the
 o elect him, said
 nted it adopted
 n and banged
 proval
 on second
 e vote
 l begin
 ation for a
 endum
 countemeasunes vessel-in the (ochs of westem Scotland, during a multple boat attack exeicihe umulating an attiack by FAC 0Fast thore Afack
 Craft, as part of a Royal Navy Joint Warior training exercise
 oed. The
 should
 onsider
 vote
 A Rating manning a General Purpose Machine Gun (GPMG) Watches a flare in the distance on board HMS Cattstock a Royal Navy Hunt dass mine
 Tesco and Unilever declare
 peace deal in 'Marmite war
 EU
 cific
 costs once the festive season
 Flora and Persil, is believed to
 have demanded a 10% price out the way
 The supply situation with
 Tesco involving the price of
 Marmite and other products
 has been successfully resolved,
 Dnilever said last night
 In a statement the company
 ald the items were once again
 ully available"
 4.spokesman confirmed
 allever is pleased to confirm
 the supply situation with
 o in the UK and Ireland
 ow been successfully re
 "We always put our customers
 first and we're pleased this
 situation has been resolved to rise due to the falling value of
 our satisfaction.
 Earlier, Unilever's finance
 chief said that the price of Mar-
 miteand other products are set
 to rise as a result of the collapse around 18% of its value against
 In sterling, with experts warn-
 ing that consumers could have
 to stomach more pain in the
 new year
 Speaking alongside the
 group's third quarter results, powder, Comfort fabric condi
 chief financial officer Graeme
 Pitkethly said: "In the UK, naise, Pot Noodle and Ben &
 which accounts for 5% of Jerry's Ice Cream.
 turnover, prices should start to
 "No one wants to put pric
 up ahead of Christmas Othe
 may just wait until January
 It's only going to get m
 painful" he cautioned
 Mr Dresser added that
 Tesco row over prices with l
 tever was a "pre-cursor
 other moves by suppliers to
 up the costs of their produ
 MPs had condemned
 sterling, halting deliveries to
 Tesco when it refused.
 Since the EU referendum on
 June 23, the pound has lost
 the dollar, reaulting in higher
 costs for retailers
 The stand off had left the su
 permarket facing a shortage of
 brands such as Surf washing
 have been working to
 losely to reach this res
 and ensure our much-
 ands are once again
 ilable For all those inerease to cover the cost of im lyst at Grooery Insight, sald
 ed us, thanks for all ported goods due to weaker there was likely to be around of
 lever, saying the company
 tioner, Hellmann's mayon
 using Brexit as an excu
 exploit
 warned it may be damag
 brand Shares in both cos
 les took a hit s a rosult
 spat Ta
 Steven Dresser retail ana
 Soumsuoo
 sterling" The group, which is
 o spokesman said: also behind brands such
 price hikes in Janu
Well done, Western Morning News.

Well done, Western Morning News.

Movie, All The, and Shawshank Redemption: In the movie Shawshank redemption (1994) all the other people are facing away from brooks to symbolize that busses are boring and people like to look out the window
Movie, All The, and Shawshank Redemption: In the movie Shawshank redemption (1994) all the other people are facing away from brooks to symbolize that busses are boring and people like to look out the window

In the movie Shawshank redemption (1994) all the other people are facing away from brooks to symbolize that busses are boring and people lik...