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excitement: storlek: stephendann: words4bloghere: tealdeertamer: iconuk01: srsfunny: Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Leave “WHERE’S YOUR PUPPY! WE WANNA SEE YOUR PUPPY! DID YOU JUST HAVE THE ONE? DO YOU HAVE THEM WITH YOU? ARE THERE PHOTOS?” I’m not a hundred percent positive but I’m pretty sure this is the wild life center where I visited wolves. And the safety briefing included the question “So if you’re pregnant, do you want to know or not?” Turns out there had been a bit of an awkward situation once where the keepers had casually mentioned a woman’s pregnancy in a group, and she herself didn’t even know yet. Turns out the wolves are excellent at telling if you’re pregnant and the keepers can tell based on their body language.  They get all odd and careful around pregnancy. (Even wolves knows that you have to take care of pregnant people.) So they definitely knew she was pregnant. And if I remember my BBC documentaries right, a wolf will leave the pack to give birth and introduce the cubs to the pack once she feels ready for it. And maternity leave is flexible but often around 6 months so they’re going “YOU WERE GONE FOREVER! WE WERE SO WORRIED! WHERE ARE THE CUBS?? WE HAVE TO GREET THE CUBS!!“  Also the two on her back are fighting over who gets to greet her first. Giving and receiving attention is a commodity that goes by hierarchy and if you don’t accept that there will be scuffles.. The wolf lying down next to her isn’t chill about her coming back, it’s just submissive to the other wolves and waiting for it’s turn to show excitement. Now I can see why we domesticated these adorable jerks. Wolf packs have maternity leave? Wolves: better than American companies.
excitement: storlek:
stephendann:

words4bloghere:

tealdeertamer:

iconuk01:

srsfunny:
Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Leave
“WHERE’S YOUR PUPPY! WE WANNA SEE YOUR PUPPY! DID YOU JUST HAVE THE ONE? DO YOU HAVE THEM WITH YOU? ARE THERE PHOTOS?”

I’m not a hundred percent positive but I’m pretty sure this is the wild life center where I visited wolves.
And the safety briefing included the question “So if you’re pregnant, do you want to know or not?” 
Turns out there had been a bit of an awkward situation once where the keepers had casually mentioned a woman’s pregnancy in a group, and she herself didn’t even know yet. Turns out the wolves are excellent at telling if you’re pregnant and the keepers can tell based on their body language.  They get all odd and careful around pregnancy. (Even wolves knows that you have to take care of pregnant people.) 
So they definitely knew she was pregnant. 
And if I remember my BBC documentaries right, a wolf will leave the pack to give birth and introduce the cubs to the pack once she feels ready for it. And maternity leave is flexible but often around 6 months so they’re going “YOU WERE GONE FOREVER! WE WERE SO WORRIED! WHERE ARE THE CUBS?? WE HAVE TO GREET THE CUBS!!“ 
Also the two on her back are fighting over who gets to greet her first. Giving and receiving attention is a commodity that goes by hierarchy and if you don’t accept that there will be scuffles.. The wolf lying down next to her isn’t chill about her coming back, it’s just submissive to the other wolves and waiting for it’s turn to show excitement.

Now I can see why we domesticated these adorable jerks.

Wolf packs have maternity leave?

Wolves: better than American companies.

storlek: stephendann: words4bloghere: tealdeertamer: iconuk01: srsfunny: Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Le...

excitement: ivynajspyder: So I made basically the best reaction gif for expressing joy and excitement over something.
excitement: ivynajspyder:
So I made basically the best reaction gif for expressing joy and excitement over something.

ivynajspyder: So I made basically the best reaction gif for expressing joy and excitement over something.

excitement: People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." 03 thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post?
excitement: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?

thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the w...

excitement: Sister Ask For A Blessed Marriage. Not For A Grand Wedding. IG - silent_repent Sisters these days spend more time planning their wedding in their head and all they dream or ask for is shopping, matching jwellery with gown, wedding planner, function, party, DJ & parlour packages! So much effort for a single day (wedding) but not enough preparation for the rest of their lives (marriage). . My sisters, marriage is not about dolling yourself up with icing suger or taking photos with glossy pout & seductive postures. Marriage is really not about food, functions, gifts, honeymoon, excitement and romance. . Marriage is about struggle, commitment, acceptance, trust, appreciation, compassion & compatibility. . It's that struggle which Hawa عليه السلام faced together with her husband to win Allah's heart to make their place in Jannah. . It is that appreciation which Hajra عليه السلام showed on Ibrahim عليه السلام decision to leave her alone with the child on Safa & her humble conviction. . Marriage is that compassion which Bibi Rahima (pbuh) had towards Ayyub عليه السلام that everyone abandoned Him but she served Him until He got cured. . Marriage is that trust which Khadiza رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنها had on Prophet Muhammad ﷺ when everyone rejected Him. . It is the acceptance that Sawda-bint-Zam'a presented to Rasool ﷺ & His children with her warm heart. . It is that commitment & loyalty which Ayesha رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنها had with Rasool ﷺ that She starved with Him for months but never complained for once. She fulfilled her duties as such that she spread Deen of Rasool when He passed out. . It is the compatibility-harmony that Fatima رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنها shared with Ali رضي الله عنه inspite of their hardships & sufferings. . Marriage is all about deep sense of duties and responsibilities through which our love reflects from every angle & this is what we learn from our Mothers. . Wallahi, none of our Mothers had a grand wedding, engagement ceremony or a big reception party but they'd blessed marriage bcoz they're successful to be betterhalf of their husbands in true sense. So sisters, be like ur Mother, prepare urself as a woman to be worth marrying & ask Allah for a blessed Marriage not for a romantic fantasy. . Pic Credit - @asma.nin silent_repent
excitement: Sister Ask For A Blessed Marriage.
 Not For A Grand Wedding.
 IG - silent_repent
Sisters these days spend more time planning their wedding in their head and all they dream or ask for is shopping, matching jwellery with gown, wedding planner, function, party, DJ & parlour packages! So much effort for a single day (wedding) but not enough preparation for the rest of their lives (marriage). . My sisters, marriage is not about dolling yourself up with icing suger or taking photos with glossy pout & seductive postures. Marriage is really not about food, functions, gifts, honeymoon, excitement and romance. . Marriage is about struggle, commitment, acceptance, trust, appreciation, compassion & compatibility. . It's that struggle which Hawa عليه السلام faced together with her husband to win Allah's heart to make their place in Jannah. . It is that appreciation which Hajra عليه السلام showed on Ibrahim عليه السلام decision to leave her alone with the child on Safa & her humble conviction. . Marriage is that compassion which Bibi Rahima (pbuh) had towards Ayyub عليه السلام that everyone abandoned Him but she served Him until He got cured. . Marriage is that trust which Khadiza رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنها had on Prophet Muhammad ﷺ when everyone rejected Him. . It is the acceptance that Sawda-bint-Zam'a presented to Rasool ﷺ & His children with her warm heart. . It is that commitment & loyalty which Ayesha رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنها had with Rasool ﷺ that She starved with Him for months but never complained for once. She fulfilled her duties as such that she spread Deen of Rasool when He passed out. . It is the compatibility-harmony that Fatima رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنها shared with Ali رضي الله عنه inspite of their hardships & sufferings. . Marriage is all about deep sense of duties and responsibilities through which our love reflects from every angle & this is what we learn from our Mothers. . Wallahi, none of our Mothers had a grand wedding, engagement ceremony or a big reception party but they'd blessed marriage bcoz they're successful to be betterhalf of their husbands in true sense. So sisters, be like ur Mother, prepare urself as a woman to be worth marrying & ask Allah for a blessed Marriage not for a romantic fantasy. . Pic Credit - @asma.nin silent_repent

Sisters these days spend more time planning their wedding in their head and all they dream or ask for is shopping, matching jwellery with...

excitement: Everytime my hooman comes closer, my tail wags with excitement 😁
excitement: Everytime my hooman comes closer, my tail wags with excitement 😁

Everytime my hooman comes closer, my tail wags with excitement 😁