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    Advice, Apparently, and Ass: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM
 CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER
 WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK
 FANDOM IT'S SICKENING.
 SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons
theamazingcaptainspider:

hayley566:

waveringwannabevalkyrie:
libertarirynn:

hayley566:

I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. 
Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. 
While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that.

Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? 
Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke.

Y'all really can’t distinguish fiction from reality huh? I call bullshit on “wOrLd oF mEn” bullshit because CM’s writing was fucking trash. Literally every single fucking man she met besides Nick Fury and the Skrull guy was a complete misogynistic caricature, to the point that her FUCKING DAD’S first reaction to her getting in a go-cart accident was not desperate fear/concern for his only daughter, but to…immediately belittle her? No babe that’s not reality, that’s shit ass writers who have no sense of nuance and no sense of developing villains because “UHHHHH HERO IS WOMAN AND MAN HATE WOMAN SO ALL MEN BAD”.Take another example, the boot camp scene where apparently like 8 white guys have nothing to do except stand around and taunt Carol? Except in real life boot camp no one has fucking time to stand around, your ass is constantly being drilled and harassed by your drill instructor, and all of the recruits are being shaped into a unit to WORK TOGETHER, with everyone being treated equally harshly. (Also, I’m supposed to believe that boot camp back in the 80’s/90’s was unisex?) If it was just Carol training on her own, that again begs the question of why an entire group of guys was just staring at her while she was training instead of I don’t know… doing their own training? Relaxing on base during what little leisure time they had? But those questions don’t matter because the writers didn’t give a damn about reality. They only gave a fuck about pushing their bullshit man hating agenda, strawmanning all men, and creating a situation where Carol was nothing but a poor innocent victim of evil cruel men. They literally only existed to victimize Carol and make all of her behavior seem acceptable because “they were mean to her first, so if she decides to nearly break a man’s hand off and steal his motorcycle later, it’s okay!” That’s not fucking realism, that’s hack writing.Captain Marvel is bad, she’s not even remarkable by the standards of female characters, and quite frankly it’s insulting that you ignore and downplay other, far more iconic and well-written female heroes just because Carol plays to your politics.
@waveringwannabevalkyrie “world of man” is a term used in the Wonder Woman comics several times to describe the world outside of themiscrya. That’s why I used it here. I would go over how abusive men do exist, just like abusive women do and how I’ve had my own experiences with an abusive father but from your tone, I think if I explain anymore you would make fun of me or something with the whole “aw you have daddy issues and that’s why you like the movie lol”. I’m so hope you’re not that cruel but knowing the internet, you cannot be safe. I just hope you’re not like those kind of people that I met and are willing to at least understand that just because you don’t experience something doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.@libertarirynn as someone who’s seen the movie, I feel like the struggle was more than just “not knowing how awesome she was.” She was being lied to about her entire life for six years and we even see her have a breakdown upon realizing this. We see her sobbing out in a field over finding all this out. The idea of finally being free from the control of others, whether male or female (people seem to forget that minn-erva was also a villain in the movie) in both a physical and emotional sense. Despite Carol having her memories wiped in the beginning, the audience gets flashes of the sexism she faced growing up. While I love both films, I will say that captain marvel spoke to me more than Wonder Woman because of my own personal experiences and if it didn’t do the same for you guys, that’s fine. I just feel that the movie gets misrepresented or misinterpreted a lot and that it is unfair. It sucks that Wonder Woman is used to bash captain marvel despite the different approaches the movies take towards women’s issues. In fact, that behavior has caused me to like Wonder Woman less and less and I really don’t want that to happen. Not only do I start to see the flaws in the film being put on a pedestal, I become more defensive of the one that’s being misrepresented. I still love the Wonder Woman movie but the internet makes it hard to sometimes.I guess what I’m saying is…I wish fans wouldn’t use one to bash the other. I honestly wasn’t trying to bash Wonder Woman or use captain marvel to do so in my last reply.  I was just explaining how one is more successful since it tried to be more palatable while the other took more risks in being a feminist film. I hope you both can see that I am not looking for a fight and am just explaining myself. I hope this helped you understand where I’m coming from and that instead of arguing or throwing insults like what usually happens online, this can be handled amicably.

Both are good movies.People who hate them or use one to trash the other are secist idiots. End of story

Or maybe they just have a different opinion and maybe you need to learn how to spell “sexist” before calling anyone else an idiot.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, Apparently, and Ass: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM
 CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER
 WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK
 FANDOM IT'S SICKENING.
 SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons
theamazingcaptainspider:

hayley566:

waveringwannabevalkyrie:
libertarirynn:

hayley566:

I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. 
Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. 
While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that.

Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? 
Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke.

Y'all really can’t distinguish fiction from reality huh? I call bullshit on “wOrLd oF mEn” bullshit because CM’s writing was fucking trash. Literally every single fucking man she met besides Nick Fury and the Skrull guy was a complete misogynistic caricature, to the point that her FUCKING DAD’S first reaction to her getting in a go-cart accident was not desperate fear/concern for his only daughter, but to…immediately belittle her? No babe that’s not reality, that’s shit ass writers who have no sense of nuance and no sense of developing villains because “UHHHHH HERO IS WOMAN AND MAN HATE WOMAN SO ALL MEN BAD”.Take another example, the boot camp scene where apparently like 8 white guys have nothing to do except stand around and taunt Carol? Except in real life boot camp no one has fucking time to stand around, your ass is constantly being drilled and harassed by your drill instructor, and all of the recruits are being shaped into a unit to WORK TOGETHER, with everyone being treated equally harshly. (Also, I’m supposed to believe that boot camp back in the 80’s/90’s was unisex?) If it was just Carol training on her own, that again begs the question of why an entire group of guys was just staring at her while she was training instead of I don’t know… doing their own training? Relaxing on base during what little leisure time they had? But those questions don’t matter because the writers didn’t give a damn about reality. They only gave a fuck about pushing their bullshit man hating agenda, strawmanning all men, and creating a situation where Carol was nothing but a poor innocent victim of evil cruel men. They literally only existed to victimize Carol and make all of her behavior seem acceptable because “they were mean to her first, so if she decides to nearly break a man’s hand off and steal his motorcycle later, it’s okay!” That’s not fucking realism, that’s hack writing.Captain Marvel is bad, she’s not even remarkable by the standards of female characters, and quite frankly it’s insulting that you ignore and downplay other, far more iconic and well-written female heroes just because Carol plays to your politics.
@waveringwannabevalkyrie “world of man” is a term used in the Wonder Woman comics several times to describe the world outside of themiscrya. That’s why I used it here. I would go over how abusive men do exist, just like abusive women do and how I’ve had my own experiences with an abusive father but from your tone, I think if I explain anymore you would make fun of me or something with the whole “aw you have daddy issues and that’s why you like the movie lol”. I’m so hope you’re not that cruel but knowing the internet, you cannot be safe. I just hope you’re not like those kind of people that I met and are willing to at least understand that just because you don’t experience something doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.@libertarirynn as someone who’s seen the movie, I feel like the struggle was more than just “not knowing how awesome she was.” She was being lied to about her entire life for six years and we even see her have a breakdown upon realizing this. We see her sobbing out in a field over finding all this out. The idea of finally being free from the control of others, whether male or female (people seem to forget that minn-erva was also a villain in the movie) in both a physical and emotional sense. Despite Carol having her memories wiped in the beginning, the audience gets flashes of the sexism she faced growing up. While I love both films, I will say that captain marvel spoke to me more than Wonder Woman because of my own personal experiences and if it didn’t do the same for you guys, that’s fine. I just feel that the movie gets misrepresented or misinterpreted a lot and that it is unfair. It sucks that Wonder Woman is used to bash captain marvel despite the different approaches the movies take towards women’s issues. In fact, that behavior has caused me to like Wonder Woman less and less and I really don’t want that to happen. Not only do I start to see the flaws in the film being put on a pedestal, I become more defensive of the one that’s being misrepresented. I still love the Wonder Woman movie but the internet makes it hard to sometimes.I guess what I’m saying is…I wish fans wouldn’t use one to bash the other. I honestly wasn’t trying to bash Wonder Woman or use captain marvel to do so in my last reply.  I was just explaining how one is more successful since it tried to be more palatable while the other took more risks in being a feminist film. I hope you both can see that I am not looking for a fight and am just explaining myself. I hope this helped you understand where I’m coming from and that instead of arguing or throwing insults like what usually happens online, this can be handled amicably.

Both are good movies.People who hate them or use one to trash the other are secist idiots. End of story

Or maybe they just have a different opinion and maybe you need to learn how to spell “sexist” before calling anyone else an idiot.
                
            

            
            
theamazingcaptainspider:

hayley566:

waveringwannabevalkyrie:
libertarirynn:

hayley566:

I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder W...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Advice, Target, and Tumblr: Unpaid internship
 opportunities are actually
 useful ply to
 them.
 and you should ap
 You can use them to practice your
 interview skills. If you get an offer just tell
 them that you can't work for them
 because you got accepted for a paid
 internship.
 Not only do you get back at exploitive
 companies by wasting their time, but you
 will also be able to practice what you're
 going to say when interviewing at a real
 company
lemonade-cat:
ellewritesfiction:
I was about to be M A D but this is truly good advice.
An important addendum to this!!!Unpaid internships are ONLY LEGAL if:-The work that you are doing benefits YOU and not the company (ex: you being told to fetch coffees for the managers benefits THEM, and does not benefit your education. this is work that would LEGALLY need to be paid.)-There has to be a CLEAR and UNDERSTOOD agreement that the internship is unpaid. If you were led to be expected it was a paid internship and they suddenly were liek “what? no it was unapid”, then the law is on your side to be paid because they didn’t make the agreement clear enough.-The work you are doing must COMPLEMENT the work of paid employees there, NOT replace it.  -The work you do must be RELEVANT to your topic of education. (Again , going back to the coffee example; the chances that fetching some one coffee is relevant to your education is not likely. this is not allowed.)Always remember these things when taking an unpaid internship; you actually DO have legal rights in this regard! Unpaid Internship are supposed to benefit YOU, not the employer :)

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, Target, and Tumblr: Unpaid internship
 opportunities are actually
 useful ply to
 them.
 and you should ap
 You can use them to practice your
 interview skills. If you get an offer just tell
 them that you can't work for them
 because you got accepted for a paid
 internship.
 Not only do you get back at exploitive
 companies by wasting their time, but you
 will also be able to practice what you're
 going to say when interviewing at a real
 company
lemonade-cat:
ellewritesfiction:
I was about to be M A D but this is truly good advice.
An important addendum to this!!!Unpaid internships are ONLY LEGAL if:-The work that you are doing benefits YOU and not the company (ex: you being told to fetch coffees for the managers benefits THEM, and does not benefit your education. this is work that would LEGALLY need to be paid.)-There has to be a CLEAR and UNDERSTOOD agreement that the internship is unpaid. If you were led to be expected it was a paid internship and they suddenly were liek “what? no it was unapid”, then the law is on your side to be paid because they didn’t make the agreement clear enough.-The work you are doing must COMPLEMENT the work of paid employees there, NOT replace it.  -The work you do must be RELEVANT to your topic of education. (Again , going back to the coffee example; the chances that fetching some one coffee is relevant to your education is not likely. this is not allowed.)Always remember these things when taking an unpaid internship; you actually DO have legal rights in this regard! Unpaid Internship are supposed to benefit YOU, not the employer :)

                
            

            
            
lemonade-cat:
ellewritesfiction:
I was about to be M A D but this is truly good advice.
An important addendum to this!!!Unpaid internships a...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Advice, Af, and Bad: hm...buns
 @coolthottie
 college really be on some other shit
 "..and it has to be a
 minimum of 20
 pages."
 You'll be writing a
 paper this semester"
 ft
 @coolthottie/jadasy
ruby-white-rabbit:

freddieandersen:
inkskinned:

HOW TO WRITE 20 PAGES (from one girl w/mental illness 2 the rest of u, but please keep in mind all of this is just personal Stuff That Worked for me n u might be different):
first of all, and probably most importantly, make that paper about something you actually give a shit about. if you can write an essay on how long shakespeare’s dick is when you’re talking to your friends, that’s a good topic. don’t choose something u don’t care about, you will Want To Die
“okay but the only topics are ones i don’t care about” talk 2 ur teacher 99% of the time if you’re like “here’s a well-thought-out thesis can i talk about this instead” they’re like “sure lmao i just couldn’t think of other paper topics to suggest”
“they said no” cool find the one u hate the least and try to tie it into something u like. for example i really hated this stupid paper i had to write about a stupid book so i ended up writing about the food inside the book and whether or not it was a historically accurate depiction of food. turns out i fucking love talking about food. i also remade some of the old recipes and brought them in as part of the presentation of my project and people went fuckken nuts bc BREAD. basically i thought about “what motivates me? uh food” and followed that. it was a 45-page book about bread and i looked like a really good student when really i just love bread (somewhere, oprah smiles over me)
the 20-pagers are the ones you Actually Cannot Do the night before. i know we all got real fuckken cocky back in hs when we learned how to do 5 pages in one night w/out trying too hard but 1. as a teacher now i can tell u for sure that teachers do know you rushed it, we just Don’t Care bc We’re Not Paid Enough and 2. twenty pages is not the same thing. you need to actually take the time to do it. this is the actual version of “you’re not in hs anymore” DONT lie to yourself and think “it’s fine i’ll do it in one day” you will !! Regret it!!!! 
“raquel. raquel. listen to me. do you actually believe i’m capable of time management. raquel i have depression i barely manage to exist.” same. but the truth is that when i started like?? actually following the rules of timelines and taking my time etc it actually really helps mental illness. you don’t feel pressured all the time by a deadline, so your anxiety chills a little bit. small progress being acceptable means that on depression days, you don’t have to worry you’re fucking it all up. when it’s 15 minutes every day (even if it’s only 1 word a day) it feels a lot better.
ask the teacher what timeline they’d recommend. they actually Know.

always ask if it’s informal or formal (if you can use “I” statements or not). informal essays can rely on personal feelings and are so much easier and trust me if you find out on the day it’s due that you could have written 12 pages about your feelings instead of 12 pages of research, you will Be Very Upset
i lie to myself all the time and move the deadline up. i write it in my agenda as at least 2 days before it’s due. surprise!!! i tricked u, self!!! you can’t procrastinate!! 
agendas/planners need to be what actually works for you. i liked to prioritize w/colors + keep lists. i really love crossing things off lists. it’s like… a balm. for me, i usually say i have to finish the first 2 things, start the 3rd thing, and “touch” at least half the list. if i finish the whole list i get a prize. also i get to cross off everything which is so satisfying i’m sure it’s someone’s idea of a rush. there’s so many “how to” documents on these that i won’t get into it but frankly?? if you don’t write it down you will not remember it. “yes i will” no you won’t greg. just do it. write it down. write it where u can see it. not there, greg. greg, somewhere good. my friend is smart af and uses a post-it on her laptop. that doesn’t work for me bc i can just? use my hand to cover the anxiety? so choose somewhere good greg.
nervous system, skeleton, meat, skin. nervous system is the thesis. skeleton is quotes/data. meat is the analysis of that data. skin is the fancy transitions + beautification.  meat goes on both sides of bone, and skin goes all around. nervous system has to touch everything. do what your teachers have been begging u to do since 3rd grade and start w/an outline. do this while you read/research. i usually have a starter thesis like “lady macbeth is a feminist ICON” then take the quotes i think fit. but if while you’re reading u realize u wanna talk about the use of feminine language and how shakespeare parallels daintiness w/sharpness, u still have a bunch of quotes you can use or not use. this works also w/research papers. just pull what u think is something u wanna talk about. copy-paste it but leave a link to where u got it. then put a bullet point under that says roughly why u mention it
if you just write the outline like you’re keeping notes to yourself you’d be amazed how quickly you write the essay bc we get stuck in academic language but it’s easier to translate “this is why bees are the #bomb” into a paragraph. i mean you just rewrite your notes to yourself in academic speech. “The above passage illustrates the growing necessity of pollinators such as bees in an agricultural environment.”
keep track of your sources + label them. don’t just write “(SOURCE)” instead if you’re using multiple sources use the lazygirl way which is (SA1) or whatever shorthand u have for each source. then when you need to finish your sources you go to your little source document, find the one labelled SA1 and then “Find+replace” w/the actual source.
integrate quotes so it reads w/clarity which means don’t do this but if you’re running late on it and don’t have time to look up the quote u want to fit this situation, technically you can “use any” word you want (56). so yeah “there is” a moral question about it but you “can” make up quotes (79, 90). don’t “actually” do this unless you’re seriously in a crunch. which u shouldn’t be, bc u managed ur time, right?
running late part 2 (which again would never happen bc you followed my advice and made a little time table for yourself but anyway if it does somehow magically happen) i really recommend using school computers to do your work. ur surrounded by people who will hold u accountable + u will focus
running late pt3 on the day of it being due, around 5 PM, be honest w/yourself and see where you are. if you’re like “it needs 2 more hours” okay. but if you’re like “this is……… not started” email the teacher. they’ll be so much more receptive the earlier you do this in the process. it looks like “i’m genuinely struggling and i hope to finish this on time but i’m worried i won’t” instead of “i started this at 11:58PM and am asking for an extension”. please also just… be honest? 
“my teacher won’t accept late work!” they all say that, he probably will, particularly if you have a note from the school therapist being like “lmao she’s got so many mental illnesses idek how to help her”
“no he really doesn’t, he doesn’t care” you can file for disability if you have mental illness, and, in fact, you should if it’s something that often stops you from completing work on time. i didn’t bc i found that it just let me procrastinate for a longer time, but having that on file means you can go to the dean.
“no!!! raquel you’re not listening i have 2 pages and he doesn’t take late work!!!!!!!!!”  okay. yeah that’s bad. but nerves, skeleton, meat, skin. what is it that you’re struggling with? is it that your can’t find any quotes to back up your thesis? impossible, tbh, you need to be more willing to purposefully misuse quotes (don’t do that). but the better option is to just change the thesis. 
“i don’t even have that!!” did you. do the reading? if you even just watched the movie, you probably have an opinion on something even if it’s “this is bad.” you can use that. use why you didn’t like it to write a hate-fueled examination on how whiny the main character is and why u think the author is trying to point out how miserable cis white boys are to deal with. 
“i don’t have enough sources!!!” go to wikipedia’s page about it and look @ the sources. try to like actually read some if you have time but frankly in a hurry a student (me) might be compelled to just slap the source in there. 
“how the fuck do i analyze this”. u know how ppl agonize over why an actor breathed in a scene. melt into that kind of thinking. you can literally force the words to mean whatever you want. i’ve talked about word choice so specific that i based a 12-page essay on three separate uses of the words “my dear”. i talked about the possessive “my” and how it developed for like 5 of those pages. and always repeat the thesis like a million times. after every analysis you should talk about how it links to the thesis. that is like a free 3 sentences every paragraph.
“i did all that and it’s still 3 pages too short” quick ways to Beef Him Up: definitions are great in research papers + essays bc you can talk about either word choice or like the definition of every process used in getting the data. also make the conclusion hella informative (it should answer “what does this mean moving forwards” most of the time, tie it into modern life or into the past). thicken ur intro with “here’s a quote from this guy about it and what he personally felt about acid-base titrations”, use a paragraph to talk about the history of the data/book, use a paragraph to talk about the modern reception of the data/book. also look for where you can use two words instead of one even tho like grammatically don’t do that.
worst comes to worst, brevity is the soul of wit. most teachers prefer concise over rambling and all over the place. if you choose to scoot under the page limit, tho, your writing etc needs to be exceptionally clean. frankly i’ve only done this once and it was terrifying
make computer read it aloud 2 u before u submit. “raquel….. i can’t look at it anymore”. you’re not looking @ it, you’re discovering you wrote “breath” not “breathe” and u need to change it
tutoring centers exist, i worked in one, and this is how i know they actually Help and have Good Ideas
ask about extra credit and do it tbh
good luck…. breathe. and remember u are astronomically more important than a grade could ever be.


do you have trouble writing words on paper but you know what you want to say? because that’s my personal form of useless perfectionism. 
like, you can tell your friend all about what you’re planning on writing, and talk about it for like 20 minutes straight?
make notes for imaginary slides for an imaginary presentation on the topic
oops you have an outline now! your imaginary slides? paragraphs (or if ur paper is long af, each imaginary bullet point is a paragraph and each imaginary slide is a couple pages)
credit for this tip goes to my therapist. thanks amy. u solved paper writing for me and at least seven of my friends


Partial credit is better than no credit at all. Only have 5 pages the day it’s due? TURN IT IN. It’s better than a zero if the teacher won’t work with you on an extension or late work 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, Af, and Bad: hm...buns
 @coolthottie
 college really be on some other shit
 "..and it has to be a
 minimum of 20
 pages."
 You'll be writing a
 paper this semester"
 ft
 @coolthottie/jadasy
ruby-white-rabbit:

freddieandersen:
inkskinned:

HOW TO WRITE 20 PAGES (from one girl w/mental illness 2 the rest of u, but please keep in mind all of this is just personal Stuff That Worked for me n u might be different):
first of all, and probably most importantly, make that paper about something you actually give a shit about. if you can write an essay on how long shakespeare’s dick is when you’re talking to your friends, that’s a good topic. don’t choose something u don’t care about, you will Want To Die
“okay but the only topics are ones i don’t care about” talk 2 ur teacher 99% of the time if you’re like “here’s a well-thought-out thesis can i talk about this instead” they’re like “sure lmao i just couldn’t think of other paper topics to suggest”
“they said no” cool find the one u hate the least and try to tie it into something u like. for example i really hated this stupid paper i had to write about a stupid book so i ended up writing about the food inside the book and whether or not it was a historically accurate depiction of food. turns out i fucking love talking about food. i also remade some of the old recipes and brought them in as part of the presentation of my project and people went fuckken nuts bc BREAD. basically i thought about “what motivates me? uh food” and followed that. it was a 45-page book about bread and i looked like a really good student when really i just love bread (somewhere, oprah smiles over me)
the 20-pagers are the ones you Actually Cannot Do the night before. i know we all got real fuckken cocky back in hs when we learned how to do 5 pages in one night w/out trying too hard but 1. as a teacher now i can tell u for sure that teachers do know you rushed it, we just Don’t Care bc We’re Not Paid Enough and 2. twenty pages is not the same thing. you need to actually take the time to do it. this is the actual version of “you’re not in hs anymore” DONT lie to yourself and think “it’s fine i’ll do it in one day” you will !! Regret it!!!! 
“raquel. raquel. listen to me. do you actually believe i’m capable of time management. raquel i have depression i barely manage to exist.” same. but the truth is that when i started like?? actually following the rules of timelines and taking my time etc it actually really helps mental illness. you don’t feel pressured all the time by a deadline, so your anxiety chills a little bit. small progress being acceptable means that on depression days, you don’t have to worry you’re fucking it all up. when it’s 15 minutes every day (even if it’s only 1 word a day) it feels a lot better.
ask the teacher what timeline they’d recommend. they actually Know.

always ask if it’s informal or formal (if you can use “I” statements or not). informal essays can rely on personal feelings and are so much easier and trust me if you find out on the day it’s due that you could have written 12 pages about your feelings instead of 12 pages of research, you will Be Very Upset
i lie to myself all the time and move the deadline up. i write it in my agenda as at least 2 days before it’s due. surprise!!! i tricked u, self!!! you can’t procrastinate!! 
agendas/planners need to be what actually works for you. i liked to prioritize w/colors + keep lists. i really love crossing things off lists. it’s like… a balm. for me, i usually say i have to finish the first 2 things, start the 3rd thing, and “touch” at least half the list. if i finish the whole list i get a prize. also i get to cross off everything which is so satisfying i’m sure it’s someone’s idea of a rush. there’s so many “how to” documents on these that i won’t get into it but frankly?? if you don’t write it down you will not remember it. “yes i will” no you won’t greg. just do it. write it down. write it where u can see it. not there, greg. greg, somewhere good. my friend is smart af and uses a post-it on her laptop. that doesn’t work for me bc i can just? use my hand to cover the anxiety? so choose somewhere good greg.
nervous system, skeleton, meat, skin. nervous system is the thesis. skeleton is quotes/data. meat is the analysis of that data. skin is the fancy transitions + beautification.  meat goes on both sides of bone, and skin goes all around. nervous system has to touch everything. do what your teachers have been begging u to do since 3rd grade and start w/an outline. do this while you read/research. i usually have a starter thesis like “lady macbeth is a feminist ICON” then take the quotes i think fit. but if while you’re reading u realize u wanna talk about the use of feminine language and how shakespeare parallels daintiness w/sharpness, u still have a bunch of quotes you can use or not use. this works also w/research papers. just pull what u think is something u wanna talk about. copy-paste it but leave a link to where u got it. then put a bullet point under that says roughly why u mention it
if you just write the outline like you’re keeping notes to yourself you’d be amazed how quickly you write the essay bc we get stuck in academic language but it’s easier to translate “this is why bees are the #bomb” into a paragraph. i mean you just rewrite your notes to yourself in academic speech. “The above passage illustrates the growing necessity of pollinators such as bees in an agricultural environment.”
keep track of your sources + label them. don’t just write “(SOURCE)” instead if you’re using multiple sources use the lazygirl way which is (SA1) or whatever shorthand u have for each source. then when you need to finish your sources you go to your little source document, find the one labelled SA1 and then “Find+replace” w/the actual source.
integrate quotes so it reads w/clarity which means don’t do this but if you’re running late on it and don’t have time to look up the quote u want to fit this situation, technically you can “use any” word you want (56). so yeah “there is” a moral question about it but you “can” make up quotes (79, 90). don’t “actually” do this unless you’re seriously in a crunch. which u shouldn’t be, bc u managed ur time, right?
running late part 2 (which again would never happen bc you followed my advice and made a little time table for yourself but anyway if it does somehow magically happen) i really recommend using school computers to do your work. ur surrounded by people who will hold u accountable + u will focus
running late pt3 on the day of it being due, around 5 PM, be honest w/yourself and see where you are. if you’re like “it needs 2 more hours” okay. but if you’re like “this is……… not started” email the teacher. they’ll be so much more receptive the earlier you do this in the process. it looks like “i’m genuinely struggling and i hope to finish this on time but i’m worried i won’t” instead of “i started this at 11:58PM and am asking for an extension”. please also just… be honest? 
“my teacher won’t accept late work!” they all say that, he probably will, particularly if you have a note from the school therapist being like “lmao she’s got so many mental illnesses idek how to help her”
“no he really doesn’t, he doesn’t care” you can file for disability if you have mental illness, and, in fact, you should if it’s something that often stops you from completing work on time. i didn’t bc i found that it just let me procrastinate for a longer time, but having that on file means you can go to the dean.
“no!!! raquel you’re not listening i have 2 pages and he doesn’t take late work!!!!!!!!!”  okay. yeah that’s bad. but nerves, skeleton, meat, skin. what is it that you’re struggling with? is it that your can’t find any quotes to back up your thesis? impossible, tbh, you need to be more willing to purposefully misuse quotes (don’t do that). but the better option is to just change the thesis. 
“i don’t even have that!!” did you. do the reading? if you even just watched the movie, you probably have an opinion on something even if it’s “this is bad.” you can use that. use why you didn’t like it to write a hate-fueled examination on how whiny the main character is and why u think the author is trying to point out how miserable cis white boys are to deal with. 
“i don’t have enough sources!!!” go to wikipedia’s page about it and look @ the sources. try to like actually read some if you have time but frankly in a hurry a student (me) might be compelled to just slap the source in there. 
“how the fuck do i analyze this”. u know how ppl agonize over why an actor breathed in a scene. melt into that kind of thinking. you can literally force the words to mean whatever you want. i’ve talked about word choice so specific that i based a 12-page essay on three separate uses of the words “my dear”. i talked about the possessive “my” and how it developed for like 5 of those pages. and always repeat the thesis like a million times. after every analysis you should talk about how it links to the thesis. that is like a free 3 sentences every paragraph.
“i did all that and it’s still 3 pages too short” quick ways to Beef Him Up: definitions are great in research papers + essays bc you can talk about either word choice or like the definition of every process used in getting the data. also make the conclusion hella informative (it should answer “what does this mean moving forwards” most of the time, tie it into modern life or into the past). thicken ur intro with “here’s a quote from this guy about it and what he personally felt about acid-base titrations”, use a paragraph to talk about the history of the data/book, use a paragraph to talk about the modern reception of the data/book. also look for where you can use two words instead of one even tho like grammatically don’t do that.
worst comes to worst, brevity is the soul of wit. most teachers prefer concise over rambling and all over the place. if you choose to scoot under the page limit, tho, your writing etc needs to be exceptionally clean. frankly i’ve only done this once and it was terrifying
make computer read it aloud 2 u before u submit. “raquel….. i can’t look at it anymore”. you’re not looking @ it, you’re discovering you wrote “breath” not “breathe” and u need to change it
tutoring centers exist, i worked in one, and this is how i know they actually Help and have Good Ideas
ask about extra credit and do it tbh
good luck…. breathe. and remember u are astronomically more important than a grade could ever be.


do you have trouble writing words on paper but you know what you want to say? because that’s my personal form of useless perfectionism. 
like, you can tell your friend all about what you’re planning on writing, and talk about it for like 20 minutes straight?
make notes for imaginary slides for an imaginary presentation on the topic
oops you have an outline now! your imaginary slides? paragraphs (or if ur paper is long af, each imaginary bullet point is a paragraph and each imaginary slide is a couple pages)
credit for this tip goes to my therapist. thanks amy. u solved paper writing for me and at least seven of my friends


Partial credit is better than no credit at all. Only have 5 pages the day it’s due? TURN IT IN. It’s better than a zero if the teacher won’t work with you on an extension or late work 
                
            

            
            
ruby-white-rabbit:

freddieandersen:
inkskinned:

HOW TO WRITE 20 PAGES (from one girl w/mental illness 2 the rest of u, but please keep in ...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Baked, Dad, and Fail: So my mom told me a story...
 theguilteaparty
 Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every
 week
 Literally every week since the first one of them leamed how to make it, they
 started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with
 walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts
 So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just
 for him to eat Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his
 banana bread, baked especially for him
 So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every
 last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least
 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some
 time) So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always
 finished it He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself
 That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread.
 Now
 Skip ahead a few years
 and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a
 dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one
 more slice of banana breadl
 What are you talking about? He loves banana breadl He had it all the timel
 This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather
 loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being, He just adored that his
 kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every
 week (and he didnt have the heart to tell them that he couldnt stand
 banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma tokd
 the kids his big secret
 My grandfather was a loving, patent, gentle man who absolutely hated
 banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share
 that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the
 kind of person he was
I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2WZFNwz
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Baked, Dad, and Fail: So my mom told me a story...
 theguilteaparty
 Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every
 week
 Literally every week since the first one of them leamed how to make it, they
 started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with
 walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts
 So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just
 for him to eat Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his
 banana bread, baked especially for him
 So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every
 last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least
 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some
 time) So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always
 finished it He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself
 That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread.
 Now
 Skip ahead a few years
 and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a
 dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one
 more slice of banana breadl
 What are you talking about? He loves banana breadl He had it all the timel
 This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather
 loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being, He just adored that his
 kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every
 week (and he didnt have the heart to tell them that he couldnt stand
 banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma tokd
 the kids his big secret
 My grandfather was a loving, patent, gentle man who absolutely hated
 banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share
 that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the
 kind of person he was
I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2WZFNwz
                
            

            
            
I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2WZFNw...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Baked, Dad, and Fail: So my mom told me a story...
 theguilteaparty
 Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every
 week
 Literally every week since the first one of them leamed how to make it, they
 started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with
 walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts
 So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just
 for him to eat Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his
 banana bread, baked especially for him
 So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every
 last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least
 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some
 time) So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always
 finished it He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself
 That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread.
 Now
 Skip ahead a few years
 and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a
 dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one
 more slice of banana breadl
 What are you talking about? He loves banana breadl He had it all the timel
 This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather
 loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being, He just adored that his
 kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every
 week (and he didnt have the heart to tell them that he couldnt stand
 banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma tokd
 the kids his big secret
 My grandfather was a loving, patent, gentle man who absolutely hated
 banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share
 that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the
 kind of person he was
I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Baked, Dad, and Fail: So my mom told me a story...
 theguilteaparty
 Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every
 week
 Literally every week since the first one of them leamed how to make it, they
 started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with
 walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts
 So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just
 for him to eat Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his
 banana bread, baked especially for him
 So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every
 last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least
 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some
 time) So that's like... 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always
 finished it He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself
 That's approximately 835 loaves of banana bread.
 Now
 Skip ahead a few years
 and they're all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a
 dad's bread and their mom comes in, "I don't think he can handle eating one
 more slice of banana breadl
 What are you talking about? He loves banana breadl He had it all the timel
 This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather
 loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being, He just adored that his
 kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every
 week (and he didnt have the heart to tell them that he couldnt stand
 banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma tokd
 the kids his big secret
 My grandfather was a loving, patent, gentle man who absolutely hated
 banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share
 that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the
 kind of person he was
I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents
                
            

            
            
I’ve read this story a thousand times and it still makes me cry. I’m gonna go hug my grandparents

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration 
                
            

            
            
feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Dad, Food, and Girls: Farhan
 Follow
 @Ahwhateverr
 Now that I know what type of
 watermelon to pick up from the local
 food store, i'm ready to become a dad.

 Kaveri Shenoy
 O+
 April 4 at 4:39 AM-
 Tips
 GOOD
 THE BEST
 WATERY
 SWEET
 4. 'Boy' and 'girl' watermelons: Many people do not
 know that farmers differentiate watermelons by
 gender. For example, 'boys' are bigger, have an
 elongated shape, and a watery taste. The 'girls' have
 2. Look for the field spot: The yellow spot, known as
 the field spot, is the place where the watermelon
 rested on the ground. Ripe watermelons always
 have creamy yellow or even orange-yellow spots,
 5. Inspect the tail: A dried tail indicates that the
 watermelon is ripe. However, if the tail is green, it
 probably means that the watermelon was picked
 too soon and will not be ripe
 Remember to kindly like and share this post to
 others.
 3. Pay attention to the size: It is better to choose
 neither the largest nor the smallest watermelon.
 Select an average-sized fuit. And note, please:
 large or small, the watermelon should feel heavy for
 its size.
 Like
 Share
 Comment

 Follow
 @blurrbubble
 My dad just slaps it and knows
 Farhan @Ahwhateverr
 Now that I know what type of watermelon to pick up from
 mme'er
 the local food store, i'm ready to become a dad.
 Show this thread
 2:21 PM-12 Apr 2019
 F#x
 XY"eitiil Retweets
 il@).il,'il42 likes
honeyngld:
jooshcognito:

gahdamnpunk:
It’s cause all dads speak in watermelon

Me, slapping a bothered watermelon in the Safeway produce section: Hnnng yea she riddy 


My mom just flicks it, it has to be a southern thing

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dad, Food, and Girls: Farhan
 Follow
 @Ahwhateverr
 Now that I know what type of
 watermelon to pick up from the local
 food store, i'm ready to become a dad.

 Kaveri Shenoy
 O+
 April 4 at 4:39 AM-
 Tips
 GOOD
 THE BEST
 WATERY
 SWEET
 4. 'Boy' and 'girl' watermelons: Many people do not
 know that farmers differentiate watermelons by
 gender. For example, 'boys' are bigger, have an
 elongated shape, and a watery taste. The 'girls' have
 2. Look for the field spot: The yellow spot, known as
 the field spot, is the place where the watermelon
 rested on the ground. Ripe watermelons always
 have creamy yellow or even orange-yellow spots,
 5. Inspect the tail: A dried tail indicates that the
 watermelon is ripe. However, if the tail is green, it
 probably means that the watermelon was picked
 too soon and will not be ripe
 Remember to kindly like and share this post to
 others.
 3. Pay attention to the size: It is better to choose
 neither the largest nor the smallest watermelon.
 Select an average-sized fuit. And note, please:
 large or small, the watermelon should feel heavy for
 its size.
 Like
 Share
 Comment

 Follow
 @blurrbubble
 My dad just slaps it and knows
 Farhan @Ahwhateverr
 Now that I know what type of watermelon to pick up from
 mme'er
 the local food store, i'm ready to become a dad.
 Show this thread
 2:21 PM-12 Apr 2019
 F#x
 XY"eitiil Retweets
 il@).il,'il42 likes
honeyngld:
jooshcognito:

gahdamnpunk:
It’s cause all dads speak in watermelon

Me, slapping a bothered watermelon in the Safeway produce section: Hnnng yea she riddy 


My mom just flicks it, it has to be a southern thing

                
            

            
            
honeyngld:
jooshcognito:

gahdamnpunk:
It’s cause all dads speak in watermelon

Me, slapping a bothered watermelon in the Safeway produce se...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    College, Creepy, and Dude: If you don't teach your
 child to obey Jesus, the
 devil will teach them
 evolution, sexuality
 psychology, witchcraft
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
fire-ghoul:

seekerofshores:

grumpyrpgreviews:

prokopetz:

cheesedeity:

prokopetz:

bear-eggs:

geekandmisandry:

Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time.
#TeamSatan

Can satan come teach a class at my school

Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers.
For example, this guy?
Teaches moral philosophy.
And this creepy dude?
He’s your astronomy professor.
Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild.

I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school.

“Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.”
“Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.”
“Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.”

What do you have to do to get a scholarship?

I can’t believe you called Buer, Great President of Hell, Professor Lionwheel lmfao. 

this whole post

I’M LATE FOR MY FIRST DAY AT DEMON SCHOOL

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                College, Creepy, and Dude: If you don't teach your
 child to obey Jesus, the
 devil will teach them
 evolution, sexuality
 psychology, witchcraft
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
fire-ghoul:

seekerofshores:

grumpyrpgreviews:

prokopetz:

cheesedeity:

prokopetz:

bear-eggs:

geekandmisandry:

Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time.
#TeamSatan

Can satan come teach a class at my school

Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers.
For example, this guy?
Teaches moral philosophy.
And this creepy dude?
He’s your astronomy professor.
Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild.

I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school.

“Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.”
“Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.”
“Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.”

What do you have to do to get a scholarship?

I can’t believe you called Buer, Great President of Hell, Professor Lionwheel lmfao. 

this whole post

I’M LATE FOR MY FIRST DAY AT DEMON SCHOOL

                
            

            
            
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
fire-ghoul:

seekerofshores:

grumpyrpgreviews:

prokopetz:

cheesedeity:

prokopetz:

bear-eggs:

geekandmisand...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Being Alone, Be Like, and Bitch: 11Alive News
 @11AliveNews
 She went to the hospital to have her
 baby. Now her husband is raising two
 kids alone: on.11alive.com/2P9SS5
 8:12 AM Oct 18, 2018
 647 Retweets
 929 Likes

 GEM
 @ROZtheCreator
 Dear BLACK WOMEN,
 It's time to educate ourselves even
 further... I believe it's time to hire
 more midwives or doulas and try to
 do home births.. idk if you guys didn't
 see that video where that Doctor
 explained that they don't listen BLACK
 WOMEN.., well here's proof
 11Alive News @11AliveNews
 She went to the hospital to have her babv. Now her
 husband is raising two kids alone
 on.11alive.com/2P9SS5I
 1:30 PM Oct 18, 2018
 4K Retweets
 6K Likes
uncommonbish:
mx-lamont:

uncommonbish:
BLACK MOTHERS shouldn’t be dying after giving birth but they are and it isn’t because of complications or health issues, it’s because NO ONE IS LISTENING WHEN THEY SPEAK!

My little sister’s birthing is PRIME example of this!
My parents ended up suing a hospital because
 Instead of the doctor being the one to deliver my little sister some random nurse did it. 
And SHE cut the umbilical cord (From where I come from that is the father’s duty)
A janitor walked in right before delivery while my mom was in stirrups (business all out) to “mop the floor”
They didn’t get my mom the right dosage of anastasia
And to top it all off
My mom literally KICKED that bitch of a fuckin nurse because on my mother’s paper work it say she is ALLERGIC TO LATEX!! 👏🏾AND👏🏾 WHAT👏🏾 DOES 👏🏾THAT👏🏾 BITCH 👏🏾WEAR👏🏾?!? LATEX GLOVES!!! 
My father had to run to the CVS across the street to buy a box of non-latex gloves for them to use because they didn’t have ANY non-latex gloves in the ENTIRE FUCKING HOSPITAL!!!
I wish I were making this up. I wish I could just be like “lol jk”
But my mother almost lost her life in birth because the hospital staff didn’t listen to her the SEVERAL TIMES she was trying to tell them something was wrong. 



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Be Like, and Bitch: 11Alive News
 @11AliveNews
 She went to the hospital to have her
 baby. Now her husband is raising two
 kids alone: on.11alive.com/2P9SS5
 8:12 AM Oct 18, 2018
 647 Retweets
 929 Likes

 GEM
 @ROZtheCreator
 Dear BLACK WOMEN,
 It's time to educate ourselves even
 further... I believe it's time to hire
 more midwives or doulas and try to
 do home births.. idk if you guys didn't
 see that video where that Doctor
 explained that they don't listen BLACK
 WOMEN.., well here's proof
 11Alive News @11AliveNews
 She went to the hospital to have her babv. Now her
 husband is raising two kids alone
 on.11alive.com/2P9SS5I
 1:30 PM Oct 18, 2018
 4K Retweets
 6K Likes
uncommonbish:
mx-lamont:

uncommonbish:
BLACK MOTHERS shouldn’t be dying after giving birth but they are and it isn’t because of complications or health issues, it’s because NO ONE IS LISTENING WHEN THEY SPEAK!

My little sister’s birthing is PRIME example of this!
My parents ended up suing a hospital because
 Instead of the doctor being the one to deliver my little sister some random nurse did it. 
And SHE cut the umbilical cord (From where I come from that is the father’s duty)
A janitor walked in right before delivery while my mom was in stirrups (business all out) to “mop the floor”
They didn’t get my mom the right dosage of anastasia
And to top it all off
My mom literally KICKED that bitch of a fuckin nurse because on my mother’s paper work it say she is ALLERGIC TO LATEX!! 👏🏾AND👏🏾 WHAT👏🏾 DOES 👏🏾THAT👏🏾 BITCH 👏🏾WEAR👏🏾?!? LATEX GLOVES!!! 
My father had to run to the CVS across the street to buy a box of non-latex gloves for them to use because they didn’t have ANY non-latex gloves in the ENTIRE FUCKING HOSPITAL!!!
I wish I were making this up. I wish I could just be like “lol jk”
But my mother almost lost her life in birth because the hospital staff didn’t listen to her the SEVERAL TIMES she was trying to tell them something was wrong. 



                
            

            
            
uncommonbish:
mx-lamont:

uncommonbish:
BLACK MOTHERS shouldn’t be dying after giving birth but they are and it isn’t because of complicatio...