eat


                    
                    
                
Watered
Watered

Watered

Looking For You
Looking For You

Looking For You

Where You Eat
Where You Eat

Where You Eat

Cannot
Cannot

Cannot

Resting
Resting

Resting

Buy
Buy

Buy

Get Some
Get Some

Get Some

Kill It
Kill It

Kill It

From
From

From

How To Say
How To Say

How To Say

🔥 | Latest

eat: Eat a Snickers
eat: Eat a Snickers

Eat a Snickers

eat: phantomemes: sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations . “ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ” “ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ” “ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ” “ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ” “ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ” “ you can live in the cave ” “ i’m a big fan of your name ” “ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ” “ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ” “ because i’m a masochist ” “ i’m going to regret this ” “ i’ve lost the ability to feel ” “ they’re gonna fucking murder you ” “ the way you shushed me was quite rude ” “ cowards  ,  all of you ” “ i’m strange and off putting ” “ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ” “ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ” “ i hate bats ” “ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ” “ not today devil birds  ,  not today ” “ i think i’m blacking out right now ” “ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ” “ i think i’m gonna cry ” “ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ” “ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ” “ i’m standing on an altar alone ” “ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ” “ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ” “ were you making horse noises ? ” “ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ” “ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ” “ well this is horrifying ” “ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ” “ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ” “ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ” “ you talk to hide from the silence ” “ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ” “ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ” “ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ” “ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ” “ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ” “ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”
eat: phantomemes:
sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations .
“ it doesn’t matter because you’re dead ”
“ it’s not impressive  ,  no one’s impressed ”
“ the spot of your death is now a lovely gift shop ”
“ as god as my witness  ,  he snapped him in half ”
“ i seriously want you to throw something right at my face ”
“ you can live in the cave ”
“ i’m a big fan of your name ”
“ the fact that you steal  ,  that’s really funny to me ”
“ that’s the greatest thing to steal  :  a man’s joy ”
“ because i’m a masochist ”
“ i’m going to regret this ”
“ i’ve lost the ability to feel ”
“ they’re gonna fucking murder you ”
“ the way you shushed me was quite rude ”
“ cowards  ,  all of you ”
“ i’m strange and off putting ”
“ i should not feel confident in the face of any man ”
“ here you are  ,  smiling in the face of the devil ”
“ i hate bats ”
“ bats sometimes carry rabies and that’s a thing i’m afraid of ”
“ not today devil birds  ,  not today ”
“ i think i’m blacking out right now ”
“ i don’t think i’m going to remember this moment ”
“ i think i’m gonna cry ”
“ i keep forgetting there’s ghosts in here ”
“ if you know me and my debilitating fear of bears  ,  this is my worst nightmare ”
“ i’m standing on an altar alone ”
“ maybe you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and eat your cat ”
“ i’m so glad that’s over let’s go eat taco bell ”
“ were you making horse noises ? ”
“ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare ”
“ there’s a good chance i’m gonna fart in here ”
“ well this is horrifying ”
“ let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other ”
“ if you could do me a big solid and not do anything that would be sublime ”
“ this is just as horrifying as i thought it would be ”
“ you talk to hide from the silence ”
“ do i look like the kind of man who could give advice ? ”
“ several bad choices have lead me to this moment ”
“ let’s play look at the ceiling tiles !  1 , 2 , 3 , 4 … ”
“ i just wanna know if you think they have belly buttons ”
“ i did meet some of the most insufferable people but they also met me ”
“ if it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck ”

phantomemes: sentences from the youtube series  ,  buzzfeed unsolved .  primarily taken from season 5′s supernatural investigations . “ i...

eat: Let them eat cake!
eat: Let them eat cake!

Let them eat cake!

eat: eat please!
eat: eat please!

eat please!

eat: daily-meme: When she asks you to eat her pussy
eat: daily-meme:

When she asks you to eat her pussy

daily-meme: When she asks you to eat her pussy

eat: The shit Garfield eat…
eat: The shit Garfield eat…

The shit Garfield eat…

eat: Make sure to eat with the sleeve off
eat: Make sure to eat with the sleeve off

Make sure to eat with the sleeve off

eat: rayethefox14524: g-blocking-antis: notice-me-cherry-pie: the-joker-hates-sjws: kaldicuct: jdbsmg-star: henryismywaifu: tinybookling: littleblackchat: lifeiscaulscott: semiauto14: daissychainss: dilfweed: jennaavh: madmints: takesabeating: cheshireinthemiddle: ginzers: spoopy-roxxi: ginzers: spoopy-roxxi: ginzers: Teach children that this is not ok Teach children that there’s nothing wrong with this I’m really not understanding why you think cultural appropriation would be ok, unless you are assuming that the girl in the picture is part Japanese. Yellow face yet she’s using white makeup in the traditional style but okay. Cultural appropriation isn’t a thing, hon. ☺️ Cultures should be shared by all means. I disagree. The makeup is clearly reflective of traditional Geisha makeup which is yellowface and therefore racist. Furthermore, the girl is wearing a kimono, a garment that has for ages carried cultural significance. Assuming that she is white how can you think this is ok? And cultural appropriation isn’t a thing? What rock do you live under? I suggest you educate yourself on the differences between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation. I am japanese, in japan at this very moment. The only people who think culture shouldnt be shared are racists like you. A vast majority of Japanese people actually enjoy other people making an effort to spread and enjoy japanese culture, and encourage it. Many make businesses in deliberately taking pictures of people in kimono. A common omiage (gift) for foreigners from japanese people is traditional japanese things such as kimonos, tea seats, shisa dog statues, ect. And to top it off, basically 80 percent of japanese customs, traditions, and food, came from other countries. Japanese is an integration of different cultures, like america. Japan takes influences from places like korea, china, russia, and europe. If japan stuck to itself, there would be no tempura, japanese tea, tea ceremonies, kabuki, japanese bread, japanese curry, j- pop, anime, cars, or modern fishing techniques. The picture is not “yellow face” they are not making fun of asians. In fact, it looks like they put extra care and research into their work. The only reason that you have a problem with this is because that little girl is white and you know that it is acceptable on tumblr to crap all over white people. The only racist here is you. Rekt b t f o Dang she got shut down. Damn I’ve never hit reblog so fast in my entire fucking life Daaaaamn Pew pew pew I reblog this every time I see it I live in Japan and I’d like to back up this sentiment.  Recently a museum in Boston came under a lot of fire for allowing visitors to wear a ‘kimono’ (it was featuring a painting my Monet of a girl – a white girl – in a kimono, and the museum had replicas made that guests of ANY RACE could wear to mimic the painting, Pageant-of-the-Masters style). After protests and heated debate, the museum closed the event. I was living in Japan at the time, and out of all the *actual* Japanese people I asked, not a single one was offended by the event. Rather, they were excited that people half a world away were showing interest in their culture, and were sad that visitors could no longer enjoy the event. This party, though somewhat silly in application, is an attempt at experiencing and appreciating another culture. The mom who put this together is not an expert on Japan, but she did her best. She got a lot of things right: there are few things Japan loves more than tea, Pocky, and sakura.  Where do you draw the line for who is “allowed” to learn about Japan? If the girl were of Japanese descent, would that make it ok (even though her citizenship would be the same as the girl from the photo)? If one of the girl’s parents were from Japan, then would it be ok?  Are you only allowed to make pizza if you live in Italy? If you’re an Italian immigrant? How do we decide these things?? You can’t say you want to dismantle racism and then in the next breath make rules – based on race – for who people can wear, try, or eat, especially when the intent is obviously to have fun experiencing a culture (as opposed to having fun by making fun of a race or culture, like blackface does).  When you tell people they can only experience things ‘meant for their race’, it totally smacks of segregation to me and I can’t stand it. As someone who (obviously) loves Japan, I say let people learn about it, let people experience it, let people appreciate it. You don’t have to know every single thing about a culture to enjoy it. fucking people got owned is what, fuck i hate how people say you cant do shit when culture should be shared and is shared its how it grows and changes through fucking generations itS HOW YOU LEARN about the world and just fucking, tumblr fucking stupid like 70% of the dam time this new light Vintage post, sipping on it like fine wine. Always a fan of seeing this happen Have fun, not make fun of Same. I’m glad when people enjoy my culture, wear our traditional clothes and try our food recipes, as long as its respectful :) All people should try to learn other religions! I’m proud of this girl!
eat: rayethefox14524:

g-blocking-antis:


notice-me-cherry-pie:


the-joker-hates-sjws:

kaldicuct:

jdbsmg-star:

henryismywaifu:

tinybookling:

littleblackchat:

lifeiscaulscott:

semiauto14:

daissychainss:

dilfweed:

jennaavh:

madmints:

takesabeating:

cheshireinthemiddle:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

spoopy-roxxi:

ginzers:

Teach children that this is not ok

Teach children that there’s nothing wrong with this

I’m really not understanding why you think cultural appropriation would be ok, unless you are assuming that the girl in the picture is part Japanese.

Yellow face yet she’s using white makeup in the traditional style but okay.
Cultural appropriation isn’t a thing, hon. ☺️ Cultures should be shared by all means.

I disagree. The makeup is clearly reflective of traditional Geisha makeup which is yellowface and therefore racist. Furthermore, the girl is wearing a kimono, a garment that has for ages carried cultural significance. Assuming that she is white how can you think this is ok? And cultural appropriation isn’t a thing? What rock do you live under? I suggest you educate yourself on the differences between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation.

I am japanese, in japan at this very moment. The only people who think culture shouldnt be shared are racists like you. 
A vast majority of Japanese people actually enjoy other people making an effort to spread and enjoy japanese culture, and encourage it. Many make businesses in deliberately taking pictures of people in kimono. A common omiage (gift) for foreigners from japanese people is traditional japanese things such as kimonos, tea seats, shisa dog statues, ect. 
And to top it off, basically 80 percent of japanese customs, traditions, and food, came from other countries. Japanese is an integration of different cultures, like america. Japan takes influences from places like korea, china, russia, and europe. If japan stuck to itself, there would be no tempura, japanese tea, tea ceremonies, kabuki, japanese bread, japanese curry, j- pop, anime, cars, or modern fishing techniques. The picture is not “yellow face” they are not making fun of asians. In fact, it looks like they put extra care and research into their work. 
The only reason that you have a problem with this is because that little girl is white and you know that it is acceptable on tumblr to crap all over white people. The only racist here is you.

Rekt

b t f o

Dang she got shut down.

Damn I’ve never hit reblog so fast in my entire fucking life

Daaaaamn

Pew pew pew

I reblog this every time I see it

I live in Japan and I’d like to back up this sentiment. 
Recently a museum in Boston came under a lot of fire for allowing visitors to wear a ‘kimono’ (it was featuring a painting my Monet of a girl – a white girl – in a kimono, and the museum had replicas made that guests of ANY RACE could wear to mimic the painting, Pageant-of-the-Masters style). After protests and heated debate, the museum closed the event.
I was living in Japan at the time, and out of all the *actual* Japanese people I asked, not a single one was offended by the event. Rather, they were excited that people half a world away were showing interest in their culture, and were sad that visitors could no longer enjoy the event.
This party, though somewhat silly in application, is an attempt at experiencing and appreciating another culture. The mom who put this together is not an expert on Japan, but she did her best. She got a lot of things right: there are few things Japan loves more than tea, Pocky, and sakura. 
Where do you draw the line for who is “allowed” to learn about Japan? If the girl were of Japanese descent, would that make it ok (even though her citizenship would be the same as the girl from the photo)? If one of the girl’s parents were from Japan, then would it be ok? 
Are you only allowed to make pizza if you live in Italy? If you’re an Italian immigrant? How do we decide these things??
You can’t say you want to dismantle racism and then in the next breath make rules – based on race – for who people can wear, try, or eat, especially when the intent is obviously to have fun experiencing a culture (as opposed to having fun by making fun of a race or culture, like blackface does). 
When you tell people they can only experience things ‘meant for their race’, it totally smacks of segregation to me and I can’t stand it. As someone who (obviously) loves Japan, I say let people learn about it, let people experience it, let people appreciate it. You don’t have to know every single thing about a culture to enjoy it.



fucking people got owned is what, fuck i hate how people say you cant do shit when culture should be shared and is shared its how it grows and changes through fucking generations itS HOW YOU LEARN about the world and just fucking, tumblr fucking stupid like 70% of the dam time

this new light

Vintage post, sipping on it like fine wine.

Always a fan of seeing this happen



Have fun, not make fun of



Same. I’m glad when people enjoy my culture, wear our traditional clothes and try our food recipes, as long as its respectful :)



All people should try to learn other religions! I’m proud of this girl!

rayethefox14524: g-blocking-antis: notice-me-cherry-pie: the-joker-hates-sjws: kaldicuct: jdbsmg-star: henryismywaifu: tinybookl...

eat: oohh-heyyy: dduane: THIS. I stand by this message whole heartedly but also I thought this said “I can’t eat applesauce” and I was so fucking confused.
eat: oohh-heyyy:
dduane:
THIS. 


I stand by this message whole heartedly but also I thought this said “I can’t eat applesauce” and I was so fucking confused.

oohh-heyyy: dduane: THIS. I stand by this message whole heartedly but also I thought this said “I can’t eat applesauce” and I was so f...

eat: srsfunny: What do you want to eat?
eat: srsfunny:

What do you want to eat?

srsfunny: What do you want to eat?

eat: srsfunny: WoUlD yOu EaT a PeRsOn?
eat: srsfunny:

WoUlD yOu EaT a PeRsOn?

srsfunny: WoUlD yOu EaT a PeRsOn?

eat: Me trying not to eat everything that’s in the fridge. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #workout #meme #gymaholic
eat: Me trying not to eat everything that’s in the fridge.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #meme #gymaholic

Me trying not to eat everything that’s in the fridge. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #workout #meme #gyma...

eat: cuttincows: thenatsdorf: Bush baby investigates strawberry. (strawberries are safe for bush babies to eat and the person is certified to care for the animal) (via galago_plum) Me gettin a snack at 2am
eat: cuttincows:

thenatsdorf:
Bush baby investigates strawberry. (strawberries are safe for bush babies to eat and the person is certified to care for the animal) (via galago_plum)


Me gettin a snack at 2am

cuttincows: thenatsdorf: Bush baby investigates strawberry. (strawberries are safe for bush babies to eat and the person is certified to...

eat: vwe did it bois, we found the worlds maddest lad by EAT-YOUR-CEREAL MORE MEMES
eat: vwe did it bois, we found the worlds maddest lad by EAT-YOUR-CEREAL
MORE MEMES

vwe did it bois, we found the worlds maddest lad by EAT-YOUR-CEREAL MORE MEMES

eat: Protecting your right to eat 6 pounds of fried shrimp at the Golden Corral. Meal Team 6.
eat: Protecting your right to eat 6 pounds of fried shrimp at the Golden Corral. Meal Team 6.

Protecting your right to eat 6 pounds of fried shrimp at the Golden Corral. Meal Team 6.

eat: What do you want to eat?
eat: What do you want to eat?

What do you want to eat?

eat: WoUlD yOu EaT a PeRsOn?
eat: WoUlD yOu EaT a PeRsOn?

WoUlD yOu EaT a PeRsOn?

eat: Me trying to work out without being distracted by my desire to eat another meal. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #workout #meme #gymaholic
eat: Me trying to work out without being distracted by my desire to eat another meal.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #meme #gymaholic

Me trying to work out without being distracted by my desire to eat another meal. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #moti...

eat: srsfunny: I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it
eat: srsfunny:

I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it

srsfunny: I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it

eat: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
eat: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

eat: Can’t have your cake and eat it
eat: Can’t have your cake and eat it

Can’t have your cake and eat it

eat: My friends and I pretending to do a group workout online so we can eat more. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme
eat: My friends and I pretending to do a group workout online so we can eat more.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme

My friends and I pretending to do a group workout online so we can eat more. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivati...

eat: Would you eat me?
eat: Would you eat me?

Would you eat me?

eat: i repeat, do NOT eat the scorpions. they taste bad
eat: i repeat, do NOT eat the scorpions. they taste bad

i repeat, do NOT eat the scorpions. they taste bad

eat: starkswhee: queercyberoceancowgirl: tulparightsactivist: cheshireinthemiddle: joekewlio: systlin: jabberwockypie: kayrowhitesyrup: black-girl-against-feminism: keyhollow: surprisebitch: pancakes are made of eggs omfg Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left. I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t. Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables. This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens. It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen. Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds.  Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it. Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas. Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur. Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh?
eat: starkswhee:
queercyberoceancowgirl:

tulparightsactivist:

cheshireinthemiddle:


joekewlio:


systlin:

jabberwockypie:

kayrowhitesyrup:

black-girl-against-feminism:


keyhollow:

surprisebitch:

pancakes are made of eggs omfg




Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left. 


I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.
Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.
This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯



As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.
Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 


Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.
Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.
Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur. 


Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh?

starkswhee: queercyberoceancowgirl: tulparightsactivist: cheshireinthemiddle: joekewlio: systlin: jabberwockypie: kayrowhitesyrup...

eat: I am, therefore I eat
eat: I am, therefore I eat

I am, therefore I eat

eat: Her bio asked if I’d rather be able to eat as much chocolate as I want without getting fat, or receive $1 million.
eat: Her bio asked if I’d rather be able to eat as much chocolate as I want without getting fat, or receive $1 million.

Her bio asked if I’d rather be able to eat as much chocolate as I want without getting fat, or receive $1 million.

eat: I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it
eat: I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it

I heard the people on that huge landmass will eat anything, we should get them to do it

eat: eat-black-paper: animals-addiction: The spring queen Midsommar (2019)
eat: eat-black-paper:

animals-addiction:
The spring queen


Midsommar (2019)

eat-black-paper: animals-addiction: The spring queen Midsommar (2019)

eat: Time to eat the chicken….
eat: Time to eat the chicken….

Time to eat the chicken….

eat: brendanthesalty: silentstep: from the perspective of persephone trying to eat a damn pomegranate in peace their tongues they synchronize
eat: brendanthesalty:

silentstep:
from the perspective of persephone trying to eat a damn pomegranate in peace

their tongues
they synchronize

brendanthesalty: silentstep: from the perspective of persephone trying to eat a damn pomegranate in peace their tongues they synchronize

eat: thehugwizard: soulreaper22345: thehugwizard: messynogenderpotato: xxminxthealphawolfxx: no-me-llores-mas: silentlycrazy: caninotexsistforawhile: silent-suicides: thedarkchocolatedandy: sxeman69: but then again, its kind like putting a meat suit on and telling a shark not to eat you We (men) are not fucking sharks! We are not rabid animals living off of pure instinct We are capable of rational thinking and understanding.  Just because someone is cooking food doesn’t mean you’re entitled to eat it.  Just because a banker is counting money doesn’t mean you’re being given free money. Just because a person is naked doesn’t mean you’re entitled to fuck them.  You are not entitled to someone else’s body just because it’s exposed.  What is so fucking difficult about this concept? How can you not reblog something like this Boom As a man I’m real fucking tired of the idea that I have no impulse control. We all have it, some of you jackasses just think you’re above it. FUCKING THIS??? Thank you normal men of Tumblr Fucking come on, look im a guy, i was taught to respect all people and not be a fucking creep, when did respect stop being taught? When did consent start to be ignored in favor of being a creepy piece of shit? Fellow men, we need to shape up and be fucking better!!!! Your male friendo, The Hug Wizard “not all men” you’re absolutely right, @thehugwizard would never Because i was taught manners and respect, needs to be taught to guys more, sub par education and the like
eat: thehugwizard:
soulreaper22345:


thehugwizard:


messynogenderpotato:


xxminxthealphawolfxx:

no-me-llores-mas:

silentlycrazy:

caninotexsistforawhile:

silent-suicides:

thedarkchocolatedandy:

sxeman69:

but then again, its kind like putting a meat suit on and telling a shark not to eat you

We (men) are not fucking sharks!
We are not rabid animals living off of pure instinct
We are capable of rational thinking and understanding. 
Just because someone is cooking food doesn’t mean you’re entitled to eat it. 
Just because a banker is counting money doesn’t mean you’re being given free money.
Just because a person is naked doesn’t mean you’re entitled to fuck them. 
You are not entitled to someone else’s body just because it’s exposed. 
What is so fucking difficult about this concept?

How can you not reblog something like this

Boom


As a man I’m real fucking tired of the idea that I have no impulse control. We all have it, some of you jackasses just think you’re above it.




FUCKING THIS???

Thank you normal men of Tumblr



Fucking come on, look im a guy, i was taught to respect all people and not be a fucking creep, when did respect stop being taught? When did consent start to be ignored in favor of being a creepy piece of shit? Fellow men, we need to shape up and be fucking better!!!!
Your male friendo, 
The Hug Wizard



“not all men” you’re absolutely right, @thehugwizard would never 



Because i was taught manners and respect, needs to be taught to guys more, sub par education and the like

thehugwizard: soulreaper22345: thehugwizard: messynogenderpotato: xxminxthealphawolfxx: no-me-llores-mas: silentlycrazy: caninot...

eat: Eat Sleep Fail Repeat
eat: Eat Sleep Fail Repeat

Eat Sleep Fail Repeat

eat: Facts: people who work out a lot are mostly motivated by the desire to eat more. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme
eat: Facts: people who work out a lot are mostly motivated by the desire to eat more.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme

Facts: people who work out a lot are mostly motivated by the desire to eat more. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #moti...

eat: ask-kirby-sans: paddysnuffles: cyhiraeth: jumpingjacktrash: vertisol: offendedfunyarinpa: dduane: laurelai: angelalchemy: standbyfortitanfall: girlwithalessonplan: heliosapollo: losed: A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN yes hello i am here to learn geometries That crow is more prepared than some of my students. You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL.  THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans. Corvids. Who KNOWS. :) Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are. they still shit all over the place and eat garbage ok but so do we @neurodivergent-crow Cool facts about crows: 1. Crows understand the concept of gifts. There’s a little girl who started feeding the murder by her house and they started bringing her trinkets (cool pebbles, coins, shiny things, bleached animal bones, etc) as a thank you.  2. Crows remember who has been kind to them and tell other crows about the nice humans. There are various examples of people who have helped crows and the crows not only come back to say hi, but also bring friends who need help over for the nice human to help. 3. Crows are the only other animal known to make tools in order to make another tool. 4. Crows have been proven to have a sense of self If you mark them with a coloured dot that they can see and then show them their reflection in a mirror they soon realize that the reflection is them and not another crow. 5. Crows have regional dialects and accents. They are also able to copy each other’s dialects and accents to fit in if they move to an area where the accent is different. 6. Crows regularly visit their parents after leaving the nest. They also regularly live with their parents after reaching adulthood to help with raising their younger siblings for up to five years before moving out. Crows are better than people
eat: ask-kirby-sans:

paddysnuffles:

cyhiraeth:

jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosapollo:

losed:

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL. 

THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM

Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.

Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)

Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.

they still shit all over the place and eat garbage

ok but so do we



@neurodivergent-crow 

Cool facts about crows:
1. Crows understand the concept of gifts.
There’s a little girl who started feeding the murder by her house and they started bringing her trinkets (cool pebbles, coins, shiny things, bleached animal bones, etc) as a thank you. 
2. Crows remember who has been kind to them and tell other crows about the nice humans.
There are various examples of people who have helped crows and the crows not only come back to say hi, but also bring friends who need help over for the nice human to help.
3. Crows are the only other animal known to make tools in order to make another tool.
4. Crows have been proven to have a sense of self
If you mark them with a coloured dot that they can see and then show them their reflection in a mirror they soon realize that the reflection is them and not another crow.
5. Crows have regional dialects and accents.
They are also able to copy each other’s dialects and accents to fit in if they move to an area where the accent is different.
6. Crows regularly visit their parents after leaving the nest.
They also regularly live with their parents after reaching adulthood to help with raising their younger siblings for up to five years before moving out.



Crows are better than people

ask-kirby-sans: paddysnuffles: cyhiraeth: jumpingjacktrash: vertisol: offendedfunyarinpa: dduane: laurelai: angelalchemy: standb...

eat: Let’s eat something light after our workout. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #gymaholic #meme #workout
eat: Let’s eat something light after our workout.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #gymaholic #meme #workout

Let’s eat something light after our workout. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #gymaholic #meme #workout

eat: You can’t eat whatever you want and say that you’re bulking. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #meme #workout #gymaholic #motivation
eat: You can’t eat whatever you want and say that you’re bulking.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #meme #workout #gymaholic #motivation

You can’t eat whatever you want and say that you’re bulking. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #meme #workout #gymaholic...

eat: My cat would just eat me. by SkrooImperator MORE MEMES
eat: My cat would just eat me. by SkrooImperator
MORE MEMES

My cat would just eat me. by SkrooImperator MORE MEMES

eat: My cat would just eat me.
eat: My cat would just eat me.

My cat would just eat me.

eat: My friend can eat whatever they want without gaining weight, but this is how I feel after eating one avocado. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme
eat: My friend can eat whatever they want without gaining weight, but this is how I feel after eating one avocado.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #workout #gymaholic #meme

My friend can eat whatever they want without gaining weight, but this is how I feel after eating one avocado. Gymaholic App: https://www...

eat: Let’s eat the pizza the wrong way
eat: Let’s eat the pizza the wrong way

Let’s eat the pizza the wrong way

eat: Are you gonna eat those words?
eat: Are you gonna eat those words?

Are you gonna eat those words?

eat: Jimmy had 4936494 bananas, how many did he eat? by DaBigPandaYT_ MORE MEMES
eat: Jimmy had 4936494 bananas, how many did he eat? by DaBigPandaYT_
MORE MEMES

Jimmy had 4936494 bananas, how many did he eat? by DaBigPandaYT_ MORE MEMES

eat: Me realizing that my true motivation is to eat more and that’s why I work out so much. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness #motivation #meme #workout #gymaholic
eat: Me realizing that my true motivation is to eat more and that’s why I work out so much.  Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co  #fitness #motivation #meme #workout #gymaholic

Me realizing that my true motivation is to eat more and that’s why I work out so much. Gymaholic App: https://www.gymaholic.co #fitness...