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🔥 | Latest

Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Being Alone, Arguing, and Bad: Alyssa Milano @Alyssa_Milano Follow Ns NEWS MARIJU 4:14 PM 18 Apr 2018 MAKEMAT 1,593 Retweets 4.735 Likes 主与玉丰丰 -- libertarirynn: vaporwavevocap: cheshireinthemiddle: napoleonbonerfarte: cheshireinthemiddle: pseudopupil: cheshireinthemiddle: hardboiledoldman: cheshireinthemiddle: hardboiledoldman: cheshireinthemiddle: But you knowingly broke the law. You could sleep with a 17 year old and the age of consent of your state can lower the next year. You still broke the law. You’re an unfathomably dumb cunt. At least I have a good argument. And since i’ve already gone into great detail proving my point, unless you have something constructive to add, move along. A sound argument is not a good argument, you dummy. Making a sound argument isn’t the same thing as making a good one, and you’ve made a bad argument cause you’re a dumb as fuck bootlicker. We all know breaking the law has consequences, doesn’t mean we have to think it’s morally good, you brain-worm-riddled moron. Something being normal and the accepted reality doesn’t make it reasonable or good. You’re not smart and your rhetoric is garbage-tier. Eat shit. A sound argument is one that is well thought out and covers its bases. Which is what I gave. Your counterargument is…insults. You personally not agreeing with a law doesnt mean that you can just break it. If youre an immigrant coming from a country with a liwer legal drinking age or age of consent, you can see breaking those laws in the US as harmless. You can think they are stupid laws. They might even change in the future. But if you break them in the US, you will be punished. “I personally dont find an. Issue with this law” is not a defense. If you want to do something illegal and think it is unfair, work to have the law changed. Advocate for its change. And abide by the new rules (in this case, get a license, sell only to specific people, and dont sell to children). And this isnt slavery. This isnt criminalized homosexuality. This isnt infringing on your right to live. You can wait to get high in this particular method or sell it to others after it has been legalized. It isnt that hard. You are such an idiot and coward. “Breaking the law is illegal” is the entirety of what you’re saying (congrats on your basic baby brain logic) but its still fucking pathetic you’re defending a heinous prison system simply because you are pussy who loves authority and pointless contrarianism. Like it IS a stupid law and the point of this comic is that no one should lose years (or any time!) of their life over it.  If the government made a law that jaywalking is a felony you’d defend people being locked away only because they “broke the law”. Thats stupid and says more about you than anything. Grow a spine you slug. Another person who just insults and doesnt read. The argument isnt “breaking the law is illegal”, but that knowingly breaking the law comes with predictable punishments. If you dont agree with a law, you advocate for its change. You dont personally get to decide what is and isnt a stupid law. The age of consent in France is 15. And if you live in France, that could seem harmless. But if you immigrated to Japan or the US and started sleeping with 15 year olds, you can argue that it is harmless all you want, but it is still illegal. The government has made leaving your preteen or lower child home alone as a form child abuse. You can have your children taken away if you do it too much. I was left alone at 8 years old. All the time. I was fine. The other little kids left alone were fine. We could handle ourselves. We and Our parents saw it as “harmless”. That doesnt mean the parents cant be pubished for it. “I will break this law because i personally dont like it/think it’s harmless” is acceptable to you until it is used on a law that you actually support. “maybe if those jews didn’t want to get sent to concentration camps they shouldn’t have been jewish in poland.” that’s exactly what you sound like lmao. I’m really not sure what argument you’re trying to go for right now? Oh, i’m sorry, I guess you getting high is comparable to persecution now. Your argument can be used to justify breaking literally any law. There is a HUGE difference between laws that violate your right to live and laws that you just dont feel like following. If you cant see the difference then i feel very sorry for you. It is persecution, if there is no victim there is no crime, therefore treating people like criminals without a crime is persecution. What she said ^ Also forcing people into legal slavery by arresting and imprisoning them for victimless crimes sure as shit sounds like persecution to me.
Being Alone, Arguing, and Bad: Alyssa Milano
 @Alyssa_Milano
 Follow
 Ns
 NEWS
 MARIJU
 4:14 PM 18 Apr 2018
 MAKEMAT
 1,593 Retweets 4.735 Likes
 主与玉丰丰
 --
libertarirynn:

vaporwavevocap:

cheshireinthemiddle:
napoleonbonerfarte:


cheshireinthemiddle:

pseudopupil:


cheshireinthemiddle:

hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:


hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:
But you knowingly broke the law. You could sleep with a 17 year old and the age of consent of your state can lower the next year. You still broke the law. 
You’re an unfathomably dumb cunt.


At least I have a good argument. 
And since i’ve already gone into great detail proving my point, unless you have something constructive to add, move along. 


A sound argument is not a good argument, you dummy. Making a sound argument isn’t the same thing as making a good one, and you’ve made a bad argument cause you’re a dumb as fuck bootlicker.
We all know breaking the law has consequences, doesn’t mean we have to think it’s morally good, you brain-worm-riddled moron. Something being normal and the accepted reality doesn’t make it reasonable or good. You’re not smart and your rhetoric is garbage-tier. Eat shit.


A sound argument is one that is well thought out and covers its bases. Which is what I gave. 
Your counterargument is…insults. 
You personally not agreeing with a law doesnt mean that you can just break it. If youre an immigrant coming from a country with a liwer legal drinking age or age of consent, you can see breaking those laws in the US as harmless. You can think they are stupid laws. They might even change in the future. But if you break them in the US, you will be punished. “I personally dont find an. Issue with this law” is not a defense. 
If you want to do something illegal and think it is unfair, work to have the law changed. Advocate for its change. And abide by the new rules (in this case, get a license, sell only to specific people, and dont sell to children). 
And this isnt slavery. This isnt criminalized homosexuality. This isnt infringing on your right to live. You can wait to get high in this particular method or sell it to others after it has been legalized. It isnt that hard. 

You are such an idiot and coward. “Breaking the law is illegal” is the entirety of what you’re saying (congrats on your basic baby brain logic) but its still fucking pathetic you’re defending a heinous prison system simply because you are pussy who loves authority and pointless contrarianism. Like it IS a stupid law and the point of this comic is that no one should lose years (or any time!) of their life over it.
 If the government made a law that jaywalking is a felony you’d defend people being locked away only because they “broke the law”. Thats stupid and says more about you than anything. Grow a spine you slug.


Another person who just insults and doesnt read. 
The argument isnt “breaking the law is illegal”, but that knowingly breaking the law comes with predictable punishments. 
If you dont agree with a law, you advocate for its change. 
You dont personally get to decide what is and isnt a stupid law. The age of consent in France is 15. And if you live in France, that could seem harmless. But if you immigrated to Japan or the US and started sleeping with 15 year olds, you can argue that it is harmless all you want, but it is still illegal. 
The government has made leaving your preteen or lower child home alone as a form child abuse. You can have your children taken away if you do it too much. I was left alone at 8 years old. All the time. I was fine. The other little kids left alone were fine. We could handle ourselves. We and Our parents saw it as “harmless”. That doesnt mean the parents cant be pubished for it. 
“I will break this law because i personally dont like it/think it’s harmless” is acceptable to you until it is used on a law that you actually support. 

“maybe if those jews didn’t want to get sent to concentration camps they shouldn’t have been jewish in poland.” that’s exactly what you sound like lmao. I’m really not sure what argument you’re trying to go for right now?


Oh, i’m sorry, I guess you getting high is comparable to persecution now. Your argument can be used to justify breaking literally any law. 
There is a HUGE difference between laws that violate your right to live and laws that you just dont feel like following. 
If you cant see the difference then i feel very sorry for you. 

It is persecution, if there is no victim there is no crime, therefore treating people like criminals without a crime is persecution.

What she said ^

Also forcing people into legal slavery by arresting and imprisoning them for victimless crimes sure as shit sounds like persecution to me.

libertarirynn: vaporwavevocap: cheshireinthemiddle: napoleonbonerfarte: cheshireinthemiddle: pseudopupil: cheshireinthemiddle: hardb...

Being Alone, Arguing, and Bad: Alyssa Milano @Alyssa_Milano Follow Ns NEWS MARIJU 4:14 PM 18 Apr 2018 MAKEMAT 1,593 Retweets 4.735 Likes 主与玉丰丰 -- vaporwavevocap: cheshireinthemiddle: napoleonbonerfarte: cheshireinthemiddle: pseudopupil: cheshireinthemiddle: hardboiledoldman: cheshireinthemiddle: hardboiledoldman: cheshireinthemiddle: But you knowingly broke the law. You could sleep with a 17 year old and the age of consent of your state can lower the next year. You still broke the law. You’re an unfathomably dumb cunt. At least I have a good argument. And since i’ve already gone into great detail proving my point, unless you have something constructive to add, move along. A sound argument is not a good argument, you dummy. Making a sound argument isn’t the same thing as making a good one, and you’ve made a bad argument cause you’re a dumb as fuck bootlicker. We all know breaking the law has consequences, doesn’t mean we have to think it’s morally good, you brain-worm-riddled moron. Something being normal and the accepted reality doesn’t make it reasonable or good. You’re not smart and your rhetoric is garbage-tier. Eat shit. A sound argument is one that is well thought out and covers its bases. Which is what I gave. Your counterargument is…insults. You personally not agreeing with a law doesnt mean that you can just break it. If youre an immigrant coming from a country with a liwer legal drinking age or age of consent, you can see breaking those laws in the US as harmless. You can think they are stupid laws. They might even change in the future. But if you break them in the US, you will be punished. “I personally dont find an. Issue with this law” is not a defense. If you want to do something illegal and think it is unfair, work to have the law changed. Advocate for its change. And abide by the new rules (in this case, get a license, sell only to specific people, and dont sell to children). And this isnt slavery. This isnt criminalized homosexuality. This isnt infringing on your right to live. You can wait to get high in this particular method or sell it to others after it has been legalized. It isnt that hard. You are such an idiot and coward. “Breaking the law is illegal” is the entirety of what you’re saying (congrats on your basic baby brain logic) but its still fucking pathetic you’re defending a heinous prison system simply because you are pussy who loves authority and pointless contrarianism. Like it IS a stupid law and the point of this comic is that no one should lose years (or any time!) of their life over it.  If the government made a law that jaywalking is a felony you’d defend people being locked away only because they “broke the law”. Thats stupid and says more about you than anything. Grow a spine you slug. Another person who just insults and doesnt read. The argument isnt “breaking the law is illegal”, but that knowingly breaking the law comes with predictable punishments. If you dont agree with a law, you advocate for its change. You dont personally get to decide what is and isnt a stupid law. The age of consent in France is 15. And if you live in France, that could seem harmless. But if you immigrated to Japan or the US and started sleeping with 15 year olds, you can argue that it is harmless all you want, but it is still illegal. The government has made leaving your preteen or lower child home alone as a form child abuse. You can have your children taken away if you do it too much. I was left alone at 8 years old. All the time. I was fine. The other little kids left alone were fine. We could handle ourselves. We and Our parents saw it as “harmless”. That doesnt mean the parents cant be pubished for it. “I will break this law because i personally dont like it/think it’s harmless” is acceptable to you until it is used on a law that you actually support. “maybe if those jews didn’t want to get sent to concentration camps they shouldn’t have been jewish in poland.” that’s exactly what you sound like lmao. I’m really not sure what argument you’re trying to go for right now? Oh, i’m sorry, I guess you getting high is comparable to persecution now. Your argument can be used to justify breaking literally any law. There is a HUGE difference between laws that violate your right to live and laws that you just dont feel like following. If you cant see the difference then i feel very sorry for you. It is persecution, if there is no victim there is no crime, therefore treating people like criminals without a crime is persecution. What she said ^
Being Alone, Arguing, and Bad: Alyssa Milano
 @Alyssa_Milano
 Follow
 Ns
 NEWS
 MARIJU
 4:14 PM 18 Apr 2018
 MAKEMAT
 1,593 Retweets 4.735 Likes
 主与玉丰丰
 --
vaporwavevocap:

cheshireinthemiddle:
napoleonbonerfarte:


cheshireinthemiddle:

pseudopupil:


cheshireinthemiddle:

hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:


hardboiledoldman:


cheshireinthemiddle:
But you knowingly broke the law. You could sleep with a 17 year old and the age of consent of your state can lower the next year. You still broke the law. 
You’re an unfathomably dumb cunt.


At least I have a good argument. 
And since i’ve already gone into great detail proving my point, unless you have something constructive to add, move along. 


A sound argument is not a good argument, you dummy. Making a sound argument isn’t the same thing as making a good one, and you’ve made a bad argument cause you’re a dumb as fuck bootlicker.
We all know breaking the law has consequences, doesn’t mean we have to think it’s morally good, you brain-worm-riddled moron. Something being normal and the accepted reality doesn’t make it reasonable or good. You’re not smart and your rhetoric is garbage-tier. Eat shit.


A sound argument is one that is well thought out and covers its bases. Which is what I gave. 
Your counterargument is…insults. 
You personally not agreeing with a law doesnt mean that you can just break it. If youre an immigrant coming from a country with a liwer legal drinking age or age of consent, you can see breaking those laws in the US as harmless. You can think they are stupid laws. They might even change in the future. But if you break them in the US, you will be punished. “I personally dont find an. Issue with this law” is not a defense. 
If you want to do something illegal and think it is unfair, work to have the law changed. Advocate for its change. And abide by the new rules (in this case, get a license, sell only to specific people, and dont sell to children). 
And this isnt slavery. This isnt criminalized homosexuality. This isnt infringing on your right to live. You can wait to get high in this particular method or sell it to others after it has been legalized. It isnt that hard. 

You are such an idiot and coward. “Breaking the law is illegal” is the entirety of what you’re saying (congrats on your basic baby brain logic) but its still fucking pathetic you’re defending a heinous prison system simply because you are pussy who loves authority and pointless contrarianism. Like it IS a stupid law and the point of this comic is that no one should lose years (or any time!) of their life over it.
 If the government made a law that jaywalking is a felony you’d defend people being locked away only because they “broke the law”. Thats stupid and says more about you than anything. Grow a spine you slug.


Another person who just insults and doesnt read. 
The argument isnt “breaking the law is illegal”, but that knowingly breaking the law comes with predictable punishments. 
If you dont agree with a law, you advocate for its change. 
You dont personally get to decide what is and isnt a stupid law. The age of consent in France is 15. And if you live in France, that could seem harmless. But if you immigrated to Japan or the US and started sleeping with 15 year olds, you can argue that it is harmless all you want, but it is still illegal. 
The government has made leaving your preteen or lower child home alone as a form child abuse. You can have your children taken away if you do it too much. I was left alone at 8 years old. All the time. I was fine. The other little kids left alone were fine. We could handle ourselves. We and Our parents saw it as “harmless”. That doesnt mean the parents cant be pubished for it. 
“I will break this law because i personally dont like it/think it’s harmless” is acceptable to you until it is used on a law that you actually support. 

“maybe if those jews didn’t want to get sent to concentration camps they shouldn’t have been jewish in poland.” that’s exactly what you sound like lmao. I’m really not sure what argument you’re trying to go for right now?


Oh, i’m sorry, I guess you getting high is comparable to persecution now. Your argument can be used to justify breaking literally any law. 
There is a HUGE difference between laws that violate your right to live and laws that you just dont feel like following. 
If you cant see the difference then i feel very sorry for you. 

It is persecution, if there is no victim there is no crime, therefore treating people like criminals without a crime is persecution.

What she said ^

vaporwavevocap: cheshireinthemiddle: napoleonbonerfarte: cheshireinthemiddle: pseudopupil: cheshireinthemiddle: hardboiledoldman: c...

Hello, Internet, and Ironic: TYPOGRAPHICAL TONE OF VOICE 145 when did tumblr collectively decide not to use unctuation like when did this happen why is this a thing it iust looks so smooth I mean look at this sentence flow like a jungle river The popularity of this and similar posts both confirms that the describing a phenomenon widely recognized by fellow posters were neers and helped acculturate new users into the norms of the plat- form, such as signaling that a question is rhetorical or ironic by ask- ing it without a question mark. Ruhl cites another self-referential, widely shared, multiauthored post, this time from 2016. At first glance, it seems like it's primarily emphasis, but those examples example of different kinds of an interspersed in a neutral, minimal- are ist carrier sentence: i think it's really Cool how there are so many ways to express emphasis Completely different it's #wild TM on tumblr and they're all. #EmphasisTM WHAT HAVE YOU DONE The hashtagged, initial-capped, space-stretched, trademarked HEmphasisTM is a break in the system: it's got too many things ng on at once to be interpretable as more than a joke. But the reply all-capped WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, is simultaneously emphatic and minimalist: it signals strong feeling from the all caps and a rhe- torical question from the question syntax without a question mark. lumblr users were pography, but it wasn't just a Tumblr thing: it also started flourishing particularly self-reflexive about minimalist ty- allthingslinguistic: hi hello alert so that classic tumblr flowing jungle river post is now cited in a real book like an actual paper book and it’s called because internet and it’s all about the evolution of internet language and how TUMBLR DID THE THING and you can get it here
Hello, Internet, and Ironic: TYPOGRAPHICAL TONE OF VOICE 145
 when did tumblr collectively decide not to use
 unctuation like when did this happen why is
 this a thing
 it iust looks so smooth I mean look at
 this sentence flow like a jungle river
 The popularity of this and similar posts both confirms that the
 describing a phenomenon widely recognized by fellow
 posters were
 neers and helped acculturate new users into the norms of the plat-
 form, such as signaling that a question is rhetorical or ironic by ask-
 ing it without a question mark. Ruhl cites another self-referential,
 widely shared, multiauthored post, this time from 2016. At first
 glance, it seems like it's primarily
 emphasis, but those examples
 example of different kinds of
 an
 interspersed in a neutral, minimal-
 are
 ist carrier sentence:
 i think it's really Cool how there are so many ways
 to express emphasis
 Completely different it's #wild
 TM on tumblr and they're all.
 #EmphasisTM
 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
 The hashtagged, initial-capped, space-stretched, trademarked
 HEmphasisTM is a break in the system: it's got too many things
 ng on at once to be interpretable
 as more than a joke. But the reply
 all-capped WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, is simultaneously emphatic
 and minimalist: it signals strong feeling from the all caps and a rhe-
 torical question from the question syntax without a question mark.
 lumblr users were
 pography, but it wasn't just a Tumblr thing: it also started flourishing
 particularly self-reflexive about minimalist ty-
allthingslinguistic:

hi hello alert so that classic tumblr flowing jungle river post is now cited in a real book like an actual paper book and it’s called because internet and it’s all about the evolution of internet language and how TUMBLR DID THE THING and you can get it here

allthingslinguistic: hi hello alert so that classic tumblr flowing jungle river post is now cited in a real book like an actual paper book ...

Parents, Old, and Baby: When the baby is less than a month old and parents decide to do a photoshoot..
Parents, Old, and Baby: When the baby is less than a month old and parents decide to do a photoshoot..

When the baby is less than a month old and parents decide to do a photoshoot..

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook