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Had

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Watched

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Funny, Obama, and Shit: Tate Reeves Bill Waller Jr. Write-in pyropansy: frogmunist: superunfriendlyreminder: Funny how all these voting machine “glitches” always benefit republicans…. Isn’t this literally a joke in an episode of the Simpsons Hey! I’m an election worker! If you ever have an issue like this please tell the people who are working at the polls! I don’t know about other states, as ours got new machines two years ago and we have some of the newest polling machines in the country, but I’m sure that your local polling place will do something about a machine like this. If you don’t trust the machines to allow you to vote for who you want, you ALWAYS have the right to ask for a paper ballot. If they refuse, get that shit on video and blast them on social media. Election offices HATE having people complain about them on social media. Be sure to specifically get them denying you a paper ballot. PAPER BALLOTS ARE NOT INVALID BALLOTS AND WILL BE COUNTED. Know your rights, be nice to election workers, be sure to register to vote, and actually get out there and vote! (Also, if you are willing and able, you should sign up to be an election worker. In the US there is a serious problem with most election workers being Republicans. Most election offices try to have a balance between Democrats, Republicans and Independent, but that’s kind of hard when Republicans are the only ones who sign up. It pays pretty well, and its wayyyy less difficult than most retail jobs. You also can learn so much.)
Funny, Obama, and Shit: Tate Reeves
 Bill Waller Jr.
 Write-in
pyropansy:
frogmunist:

superunfriendlyreminder:



Funny how all these voting machine “glitches” always benefit republicans….




Isn’t this literally a joke in an episode of the Simpsons


Hey! I’m an election worker! If you ever have an issue like this please tell the people who are working at the polls! I don’t know about other states, as ours got new machines two years ago and we have some of the newest polling machines in the country, but I’m sure that your local polling place will do something about a machine like this. 
If you don’t trust the machines to allow you to vote for who you want, you ALWAYS have the right to ask for a paper ballot. If they refuse, get that shit on video and blast them on social media. Election offices HATE having people complain about them on social media. Be sure to specifically get them denying you a paper ballot. PAPER BALLOTS ARE NOT INVALID BALLOTS AND WILL BE COUNTED. 
Know your rights, be nice to election workers, be sure to register to vote, and actually get out there and vote! 
(Also, if you are willing and able, you should sign up to be an election worker. In the US there is a serious problem with most election workers being Republicans. Most election offices try to have a balance between Democrats, Republicans and Independent, but that’s kind of hard when Republicans are the only ones who sign up. It pays pretty well, and its wayyyy less difficult than most retail jobs. You also can learn so much.)

pyropansy: frogmunist: superunfriendlyreminder: Funny how all these voting machine “glitches” always benefit republicans…. Isn’t thi...

Definitely, School, and Control: What is the funniest loophole you have ever seen? Kevin Yue, studied at Massachusetts Institute of Technology When I was in school, they held a robotics competition. It was pretty simple, conceptually. You had to make a firefighting robot. It would have to navigate a maze, find a candle and put it out (fully automated, no remote control). I can't remember the exact size but I think the robot had to be smaller than 1 foot in length, width, and height Scoring was as follows. You start with your time (how long it takes to search every room and put out the candle), and get deductions (bonus points) if your robot: Put out the candle with anything other than a fan (water, for instance) Searched every room, didn't just stop at the one with the candle Could separate into parts to search rooms in parallel Operated on very little code (there were a few benchmarks for this) I entered a block of dry ice: It basically just had a spring-powered hammer to shatter it into little pieces when the start timer went (so that it would evaporate faster) It basically just had a spring-powered hammer to shatter it into little pieces when the start timer went (so that it would evaporate faster) In seconds the entire maze was filled with a white fog and the candle was definitely out. I had the fastest time by a landslide even before you counted my deductions: Didn't use a fan? Check Search every room? Check Separate into parts to put out fires in parallel? Check I think I could've been the only person in history to ever win a robotics competition without writinga single line of code or soldering a single wire. But alas, the judges disqualified me by unanimous vote. WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME? I'M RIGHT I see his robot as an absolute win
Definitely, School, and Control: What is the funniest loophole
 you have ever seen?
 Kevin Yue, studied at
 Massachusetts Institute of
 Technology
 When I was in school, they held a robotics
 competition.
 It was pretty simple, conceptually. You had to
 make a firefighting robot. It would have to
 navigate a maze, find a candle and put it out
 (fully automated, no remote control). I can't
 remember the exact size but I think the robot
 had to be smaller than 1 foot in length, width,
 and height
 Scoring was as follows. You start with your
 time (how long it takes to search every room
 and put out the candle), and get deductions
 (bonus points) if your robot:
 Put out the candle with anything
 other than a fan (water, for instance)
 Searched every room, didn't just
 stop at the one with the candle
 Could separate into parts to search
 rooms in parallel
 Operated on very little code (there
 were a few benchmarks for this)
 I entered a block of dry ice:
 It basically just had a spring-powered
 hammer to shatter it into little pieces when
 the start timer went (so that it would
 evaporate faster)
 It basically just had a spring-powered
 hammer to shatter it into little pieces when
 the start timer went (so that it would
 evaporate faster)
 In seconds the entire maze was filled with a
 white fog and the candle was definitely out. I
 had the fastest time by a landslide even
 before you counted my deductions:
 Didn't use a fan? Check
 Search every room? Check
 Separate into parts to put out fires in
 parallel? Check
 I think I could've been the only person in
 history to ever win a robotics competition
 without writinga single line of code or
 soldering a single wire.
 But alas, the judges disqualified me by
 unanimous vote.
 WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME?
 I'M RIGHT
I see his robot as an absolute win

I see his robot as an absolute win

Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe. Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War. Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this” https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast. If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin. And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit? very absofuckingluteky horrifying
Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
taraljc:

lemonsharks:


nikkoliferous:

biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe. 

Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War.


Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this”
https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast.
If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin.
And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit?


very absofuckingluteky horrifying

taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quiet...

Minecraft, Monster, and The Game: Biomes' Impact on Monster Density in Minecraft 1. Introduction and Hypothesis Minecraft is a survival/sandbox biocks. You can find monsters in the game that will spawn in that there are more monsters i came from 2009 where the goal is to survive in a world filled with ISEF dark areas. Observations has suesested n caves underground during daytime compared to at night. This suggest density of monsters in a place is affected by how many places in the area that s or monsters to spawn. The fewer places, the higher density. By this assumption, the numbes oawn in an area should be affected by the biome where the area is located SEF that the oA 3. Execution monsters who will Minccrants own system fot peogramming was used so make the exccudion aulomatic In summary, the experiment was conducted as ollows 2. Purpose The purpose of this project is to look at how changes in the mpact the number of monsters who will spawn in an area: -A platform was madc ai a predeterminot place in the game 4. Results The results are presented in arrays below weather and time got adjusied to a standard After a while the number of monsters on the platformm got counted and written down The platform was moved to a new location 13 diffencet biomes, 4 different heights and 10 different types of underlay on the platform got tested with this sctup n and conclusion ent biomes had the biggest impact on the number of monsters who spawned. The biome Deep Ocean has the highest density rs by a large margin. The follow up is the Swamp biome. Both of these biomes arc mostly water The biome with the lowest Taiga, followed by the two types of plains. These biomes has a lot of available land for monsters too spawn, so this was n the view of the hypothesis. rence between the different heights are smaller, but the difference is still there. The surface in the Minecraft world are at 64 we can see a lower density of monsters at that height. The highest platforms got the highest density of monsters s of underlay give some difference in density, but the varicty is small This can be explained by the inaccuracy of the crent types s, so it doesn't seam like the undcrlay has any effect on the monsters. se results, there seems to be no doubt that the biome and hcight an area is located, greatly affect how many monsters who will there. The hypothesi s loo spawn got the highest number of monsters on average. There seems too be some kind of correlation, but a different study be conducted too find out if this hypothesis is right s in the introduction seems to have got something right since the biomes with the least available places for To celebrate Minecraft’s 10 year anniversary, here is me and my project in this year’s Intel ISEF competition.
Minecraft, Monster, and The Game: Biomes' Impact on Monster
 Density in Minecraft
 1. Introduction and Hypothesis
 Minecraft is a survival/sandbox
 biocks. You can find monsters in the game that will spawn in
 that there are more monsters i
 came from 2009 where the goal is to survive in a world filled with
 ISEF
 dark areas. Observations has suesested
 n caves underground during daytime compared to at night. This suggest
 density of monsters in a place is affected by how many places in the area that s
 or monsters to spawn. The fewer places, the higher density. By this assumption, the numbes
 oawn in an area should be affected by the biome where the area is located
 SEF
 that the
 oA
 3. Execution
 monsters who will
 Minccrants own system fot
 peogramming was used so make the
 exccudion aulomatic In summary, the
 experiment was conducted as
 ollows
 2. Purpose
 The purpose of this project is to look at how changes in the
 mpact the number of monsters who will spawn in an area:
 -A platform was madc ai a
 predeterminot place in the game
 4. Results
 The results are presented in arrays below
 weather and time got adjusied to
 a standard
 After a while the number of
 monsters on the platformm got
 counted and written down
 The platform was moved to a new
 location
 13 diffencet biomes, 4 different
 heights and 10 different types of
 underlay on the platform got tested
 with this sctup
 n and conclusion
 ent biomes had the biggest impact on the number of monsters who spawned. The biome Deep Ocean has the highest density
 rs by a large margin. The follow up is the Swamp biome. Both of these biomes arc mostly water The biome with the lowest
 Taiga, followed by the two types of plains. These biomes has a lot of available land for monsters too spawn, so this was
 n the view of the hypothesis.
 rence between the different heights are smaller, but the difference is still there. The surface in the Minecraft world are at 64
 we can see a lower density of monsters at that height. The highest platforms got the highest density of monsters
 s of underlay give some difference in density, but the varicty is small This can be explained by the inaccuracy of the
 crent types
 s, so it doesn't seam like the undcrlay has any effect on the monsters.
 se results, there seems to be no doubt that the biome and hcight an area is located, greatly affect how many monsters who will
 there. The hypothesi
 s loo spawn got the highest number of monsters on average. There seems too be some kind of correlation, but a different study
 be conducted too find out if this hypothesis is right
 s in the introduction seems to have got something right since the biomes with the least available
 places for
To celebrate Minecraft’s 10 year anniversary, here is me and my project in this year’s Intel ISEF competition.

To celebrate Minecraft’s 10 year anniversary, here is me and my project in this year’s Intel ISEF competition.

Fresh, Money, and Movies: LOGAN MARCH 3 ТОMАТОMЕТER WANT TO SEE All Critics Top Critics 99% 96% want to see Average Rating: 8/10 Reviews Counted: 29 Critics Consensus: No consensus yet. User Ratings: 24,499 Fresh: 28 Rotten: 1 marvel-feed: ‘LOGAN’ REVIEW ROUND UP!FORBES - “Logan is good, occasionally great. If you’re going for the action and the performances, you’ll more than get your money’s worth”IGN - “An amazing swan song for the Wolverine character. A thrilling, one-of-a-kind experience”VARIETY - “Brings the [Wolverine] saga to a satisfying finish. It’s a wholehearted drama made with a shot language that looks nearly classical. It must be said, however, that the story often feels stitched together from other films”USA TODAY - “Easily the best Wolverine outing, ‘Logan’ is about 20 minutes too long [but] gives the surly icon a sendoff fans won’t soon forget”DIGITAL SPY - “‘Logan’ is easily better than the other Wolverine movies, and far more meaningful than any of the First Class generation films – but not exactly fun. Impressive and bold, it’s a superhero movie that feels nothing like one, though whether that’s a good thing or not is debatable” - 4/5SCREENRANT - “X-Men movie franchise connections aside, ‘Logan’ is a grisly and somber character drama that sends Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine off on a high note”THE GUARDIAN - “Logan is a forthright, muscular movie which preserves the X-Men’s strange, exotic idealism” - 4/5THE VERGE - “The first R-rated Wolverine movie is bleak, uncompromising, and completely mesmerizing. It’s a cheesy, familiar trope, drawn out into a painful and visceral story”
Fresh, Money, and Movies: LOGAN
 MARCH 3

 ТОMАТОMЕТER
 WANT TO SEE
 All Critics
 Top Critics
 99%
 96%
 want to see
 Average Rating: 8/10
 Reviews Counted: 29
 Critics Consensus: No
 consensus yet.
 User Ratings: 24,499
 Fresh: 28
 Rotten: 1
marvel-feed:

‘LOGAN’ REVIEW ROUND UP!FORBES - “Logan is good, occasionally great. If you’re going for the action and the performances, you’ll more than get your money’s worth”IGN - “An amazing swan song for the Wolverine character. A thrilling, one-of-a-kind experience”VARIETY - “Brings the [Wolverine] saga to a satisfying finish. It’s a wholehearted drama made with a shot language that looks nearly classical. It must be said, however, that the story often feels stitched together from other films”USA TODAY - “Easily the best Wolverine outing, ‘Logan’ is about 20 minutes too long [but] gives the surly icon a sendoff fans won’t soon forget”DIGITAL SPY - “‘Logan’ is easily better than the other Wolverine movies, and far more meaningful than any of the First Class generation films – but not exactly fun. Impressive and bold, it’s a superhero movie that feels nothing like one, though whether that’s a good thing or not is debatable” - 4/5SCREENRANT - “X-Men movie franchise connections aside, ‘Logan’ is a grisly and somber character drama that sends Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine off on a high note”THE GUARDIAN - “Logan is a forthright, muscular movie which preserves the X-Men’s strange, exotic idealism” - 4/5THE VERGE - “The first R-rated Wolverine movie is bleak, uncompromising, and completely mesmerizing. It’s a cheesy, familiar trope, drawn out into a painful and visceral story”

marvel-feed: ‘LOGAN’ REVIEW ROUND UP!FORBES - “Logan is good, occasionally great. If you’re going for the action and the performances, you’...

Bad, Fucking, and Funny: Take the breadsticks Young Man and run Man young [door man hand hook said car gun plaid-n-converse: chaotic-netherphoenix-comrades: to-reach-the-farthest-star: chaotic-netherphoenix-comrades: yuuri-katsuki: tylarchance415: elvenempressriley: the-last-teabender: politicalcompassmemes: your-uncle-dave: maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit: japhers: jewishzevran: animatedamerican: pagesofkenna: mommacomms: fidefortitude: bl00dlikeice: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: plaid-n-converse: memeception WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME @caesarianconfection I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it. But this… This is something else. The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind. For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun? ….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1) this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2) “man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3) ‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4) and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5) which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6) (but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better) I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared. average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics I was getting a political compass vibe too tag urself im man door hand hook car gun This works better than I thought it would. Leaving the planet. I thought it was a Punnets square I’m deceased y'all 7 memes now omg I think Tumblr has opened the gateway to meme hell.  At least there’s no bode gatekeeper.  -Layla nah man bode is clearly a Lovecraftian eldritch meme god that reveals itself to its followers in dreams and it’s all cos OP decided to open the goddamn portal I’m just trying to figured out how you’d explain going from my original post to fucking bode Cthulhu, and I got nothing
Bad, Fucking, and Funny: Take
 the
 breadsticks
 Young
 Man
 and
 run
 Man
 young [door
 man hand
 hook
 said
 car
 gun
plaid-n-converse:
chaotic-netherphoenix-comrades:

to-reach-the-farthest-star:

chaotic-netherphoenix-comrades:

yuuri-katsuki:

tylarchance415:

elvenempressriley:

the-last-teabender:

politicalcompassmemes:

your-uncle-dave:

maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit:

japhers:

jewishzevran:

animatedamerican:

pagesofkenna:

mommacomms:

fidefortitude:

bl00dlikeice:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

plaid-n-converse:

memeception

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

@caesarianconfection

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.
But this… This is something else.
The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.
For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here
ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)
this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)
“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)
‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)
and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)
which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)
(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

I was getting a political compass vibe too

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun


This works better than I thought it would. 

Leaving the planet.

I thought it was a Punnets square


I’m deceased y'all


7 memes now omg

I think Tumblr has opened the gateway to meme hell. 
At least there’s no bode gatekeeper. 
-Layla

nah man
bode is clearly a Lovecraftian eldritch meme god that reveals itself to its followers in dreams
and it’s all cos OP decided to open the goddamn portal


I’m just trying to figured out how you’d explain going from my original post to fucking bode Cthulhu, and I got nothing

plaid-n-converse: chaotic-netherphoenix-comrades: to-reach-the-farthest-star: chaotic-netherphoenix-comrades: yuuri-katsuki: tylarchance...

Bee Movie, God, and Tumblr: 824:11:45/1347:36:22 Antz but every time they say ant it gets replaced by the Bee Movie but every time they say bee it's replaced by the Nutshack Theme but every time they say nutshack it's replaced with the entire Marmaduke movie AntzVEVOo Subscribe 18 7 views Add to Share More thelordofhats: koininaritai: if this is real the video is 56 days long. I think 56 days is actually way too short for it to be real. Let’s start at the bottom: According to Wikipedia, Marmaduke is 87 minutes long. Which seems kind of short for a feature movie, but whatever, that’s merciful. For ease of math, let’s just round that to ninety minutes–an hour and a half. For the sake of Science, I listened to the Nutshack theme (dear god it’s worse than I remember). I was able to count 19 instances of “Nutshack” for certain, and I’m sure there’s at least one, possibly more, that I missed because you have a point where the characters are saying Nutshack at the same time the chorus is saying Nutshack, though I’m not going back to confirm because I am not that much of a masochist. So that means that a single instance of ‘Bee’ in Bee movie takes… 30 hours to resolve (the length of the Nutshack theme is negligible here compared to the rounding we’re already doing). That’s a day and a quarter of this hell. So, we can fit one instance of Bee Movie in our timeslot if they say ‘Bee’ a total of… 44.8 times throughout. I counted. They say ‘Bee’ or ‘Bees’ (not counting Bee included in part of a word like Beekeeper, or in a compound pun) a total of 149 times. That’s right. With only Bee Movie you’re going to be here for 186 days, and 7 hours (extra hour for the parts of Bee Movie that aren’t them saying ‘Bee’). But then there’ Antz is, notably, more restrained than Bee Movie (also harder to CTRL+F through, because it’s actually the full script that’s posted, with scene descriptions). They only say ‘ant’ 50 times. But every single time they it, it starts a 186 day-long chain reaction. You are going to be watching this for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF MARMADUKE,  because that’s almost all that you’ll be watching. You might be able to follow the plot of Bee Movie, if you keep notes. But the snippets of Antz you get are going to be separated by periods of half a year. Sometimes they’ll say ‘ant’ twice in a sentence, and there goes your entire year. And that’s if you watch non-stop. It gets even worse if you factor in any kind of time to eat and sleep. At least you’ll know Marmaduke backwards and forwards. At least, assuming you aren’t a gibbering wreck after a year of this, which you certainly are going to be.
Bee Movie, God, and Tumblr: 824:11:45/1347:36:22
 Antz but every time they say ant it gets replaced by the Bee Movie but
 every time they say bee it's replaced by the Nutshack Theme but
 every time they say nutshack it's replaced with the entire Marmaduke
 movie
 AntzVEVOo
 Subscribe
 18
 7 views
 Add to
 Share More
thelordofhats:

koininaritai:
if this is real the video is 56 days long.
I think 56 days is actually way too short for it to be real. Let’s start at the bottom:
According to Wikipedia, Marmaduke is 87 minutes long. Which seems kind of short for a feature movie, but whatever, that’s merciful. For ease of math, let’s just round that to ninety minutes–an hour and a half.
For the sake of Science, I listened to the Nutshack theme (dear god it’s worse than I remember). I was able to count 19 instances of “Nutshack” for certain, and I’m sure there’s at least one, possibly more, that I missed because you have a point where the characters are saying Nutshack at the same time the chorus is saying Nutshack, though I’m not going back to confirm because I am not that much of a masochist. So that means that a single instance of ‘Bee’ in Bee movie takes… 30 hours to resolve (the length of the Nutshack theme is negligible here compared to the rounding we’re already doing). That’s a day and a quarter of this hell. So, we can fit one instance of Bee Movie in our timeslot if they say ‘Bee’ a total of… 44.8 times throughout.
I counted.
They say ‘Bee’ or ‘Bees’ (not counting Bee included in part of a word like Beekeeper, or in a compound pun) a total of 149 times. That’s right. With only Bee Movie you’re going to be here for 186 days, and 7 hours (extra hour for the parts of Bee Movie that aren’t them saying ‘Bee’). But then there’
Antz is, notably, more restrained than Bee Movie (also harder to CTRL+F through, because it’s actually the full script that’s posted, with scene descriptions). They only say ‘ant’ 50 times. But every single time they it, it starts a 186 day-long chain reaction.
You are going to be watching this for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF MARMADUKE,  because that’s almost all that you’ll be watching. You might be able to follow the plot of Bee Movie, if you keep notes. But the snippets of Antz you get are going to be separated by periods of half a year. Sometimes they’ll say ‘ant’ twice in a sentence, and there goes your entire year. And that’s if you watch non-stop. It gets even worse if you factor in any kind of time to eat and sleep.
At least you’ll know Marmaduke backwards and forwards. At least, assuming you aren’t a gibbering wreck after a year of this, which you certainly are going to be.

thelordofhats: koininaritai: if this is real the video is 56 days long. I think 56 days is actually way too short for it to be real. Let’s ...

Being Alone, America, and Family: dna-today: When DNA ancestry contradicts your identity. With the discovery of DNA more the 145 years ago and the vastly advancing research of DNA since then, we now have access to incredible information at our fingertips. One of the more trending services offered online is the invitation to discover the details of our DNA ancestry and origins. It sounds very thrilling and exciting to be able to look into our genetic history that we can’t trace in any other way through living or deceased relatives. But is it always a pleasant surprise and is it always all it promises to be? Just yesterday, SBS news reporter Janice Petersen, published her personal experience of trying out an ancestry DNA test. It revealed a lot of information, some of which seemed obvious according to what she personally knows from family history and stories, and some of which just seemed completely random and unexpected. And she is not alone. In reality, most people planning to try a DNA ancestry test actually already have high and particular expectations going in. They have most likely talked to several of their family members, accumulating a general family history, and believe that this test will just solidify that information. And then when the results arrive, numbers don’t quite add up. It is important to remember that over the past few decades, travel within the same continents and between them became a reality! Just 100 years ago most of this travel would not have been possible and now we talk about flying to Europe from America as if it was just a bike ride away. According to the World Tourism Organization, UNWTO, in 2014 the number of international tourists was 1,138 million (that‘s right, check how many zeros that is)! And that’s the people who counted as overnight visitors. When it comes to actual migrations, according to UN statistics, the number of international migrants reached 244 million in 2015 which was a 41% increase compared to just 15 years earlier. The point is that with millions and millions of people travelling and more permanently relocating from their country of birth to wherever they may please on a daily basis, is it really surprising that your recent family history might not actually match your more historic origins? After all, we only really know what we are told by our closest family and they only have a certain capacity of information as well. And knowing this information about our DNA – does it define us as a person and our habits and our likes and dislikes? If we like curry and turns out that more that 30% of our DNA is attributed to Northern Europe (like Sweden or Norway), does that mean that we have been living our lives wrong and liking the wrong things? Of course not! We are the individuals that we build ourselves to be over our lifetime and these tests and the information they provide should only be regarded as an entertaining analysis. Something to enhance our understanding of ourselves, not to make us doubtful of our choices and lifestyles. Something to create social connections with people from the other side of the world who we will probably never meet, but are genetically connected to. Something to celebrate and really feel like an integral part of the big and diverse world we live in. How do you feel about finding out more about your DNA ancestry?  Have you done a test and how did you feel about the results?  Share your stories and opinions! If you are considering doing a test, you might want to check out the ancestry DNA tests offered here.
Being Alone, America, and Family: dna-today:

When DNA ancestry contradicts your identity.
With the discovery of DNA more the 145 years ago and the vastly advancing research of DNA since then, we now have access to incredible information at our fingertips. One of the more trending services offered online is the invitation to discover the details of our DNA ancestry and origins. It sounds very thrilling and exciting to be able to look into our genetic history that we can’t trace in any other way through living or deceased relatives.
But is it always a pleasant surprise and is it always all it promises to be? Just yesterday, SBS news reporter Janice Petersen, published her personal experience of trying out an ancestry DNA test. It revealed a lot of information, some of which seemed obvious according to what she personally knows from family history and stories, and some of which just seemed completely random and unexpected.
And she is not alone. In reality, most people planning to try a DNA ancestry test actually already have high and particular expectations going in. They have most likely talked to several of their family members, accumulating a general family history, and believe that this test will just solidify that information. And then when the results arrive, numbers don’t quite add up.
It is important to remember that over the past few decades, travel within the same continents and between them became a reality! Just 100 years ago most of this travel would not have been possible and now we talk about flying to Europe from America as if it was just a bike ride away. According to the World Tourism Organization, UNWTO, in 2014 the number of international tourists was 1,138 million (that‘s right, check how many zeros that is)! And that’s the people who counted as overnight visitors. When it comes to actual migrations, according to UN statistics, the number of international migrants reached 244 million in 2015 which was a 41% increase compared to just 15 years earlier.
The point is that with millions and millions of people travelling and more permanently relocating from their country of birth to wherever they may please on a daily basis, is it really surprising that your recent family history might not actually match your more historic origins? After all, we only really know what we are told by our closest family and they only have a certain capacity of information as well.
And knowing this information about our DNA – does it define us as a person and our habits and our likes and dislikes? If we like curry and turns out that more that 30% of our DNA is attributed to Northern Europe (like Sweden or Norway), does that mean that we have been living our lives wrong and liking the wrong things? Of course not! We are the individuals that we build ourselves to be over our lifetime and these tests and the information they provide should only be regarded as an entertaining analysis. Something to enhance our understanding of ourselves, not to make us doubtful of our choices and lifestyles. Something to create social connections with people from the other side of the world who we will probably never meet, but are genetically connected to. Something to celebrate and really feel like an integral part of the big and diverse world we live in.
How do you feel about finding out more about your DNA ancestry? 
Have you done a test and how did you feel about the results? 
Share your stories and opinions!
If you are considering doing a test, you might want to check out the ancestry DNA tests offered here.

dna-today: When DNA ancestry contradicts your identity. With the discovery of DNA more the 145 years ago and the vastly advancing research ...

Cars, Click, and Clock: cthuhubringerofoookins themid.. Source: ness-and-ins O003 03na4am 24 demigods-in-the-tards mootiness: delicatness checkmyshon123 gratuitousabs: a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know? One minute, 37 seconds. My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None. One minute, 29 secods I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross. overcrowded cateteria One minute, six seconds. Somewhere within these four wals, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They're going through the exact same pressure as me. 54 seconds. Mom said I shouid be excited, not nervous. Yet still find myset wiping my sweaty pams on my dress. I can't beleve she talked me into wearing a dress I mean, shouldn't my Soul Mate meet me as I normaly am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curis? 30 seconds Something deep within me tels me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too, They smle encouragingly up at me. chew my Ip nervously. 25 seconds That same feeling puls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away trom me as take a step in that direction. 20 seconds. Icontinue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up. 19. Faster 18. Quicker. 17, More rapid 16. It's racing. Oh my god this is it. The moment my afe changes forever My eyes search franticaly around the cafeteria searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someane who's heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me. 10 seconds. The teeling directs me sightly to the let. I turn to accomodate. 5. My heart has ghven up entrely 4.1 stop walking 3. Just wating left 2. Everything is about to change 1. Deep breath 0000 d 00 h 00 m 00s Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones "Hello there, love. It appears as though we're- Soul Mates then, eh?" As my words fal me, the only thing1 can think is Tm so glad I shaved this morning. I'm sitting outside a cafe when it happens, sipping some cheap drink, pretending to enjoy the sunshine. The counter runs to zero, and there is an audible click the tab deactivates, fals off. The cink of polyurethane to cobblestone fioor is echoed a few feet ahead of me. I shake a proffed hand, look up at a dsdaintul face This is al I get? It's just a couple more weeks, now. I've been watching closely as the numbers tick steadily down. Just a couple more weeks, I keep telling myself. Out of my group of triends, I'm on what they like to cal the "fast track" people whose numbers start much lower than others. Two weeks, six days, fiteen hours. The clock keeps ticking. Two weeks, one day, four hours The days are getting so close now Fm pretty sure my uncontrolable excitement is starting to seriously annoy everyone around me. My friends tease me incessantly about who they imagine my soul mate wil be. Tal, short. tat dmples, nail biter, foot tapper At one week, three days, and seven hours, the clock stops Instead of a soul mate I get condolences, a therapist, and a broken clock he had atways tried to cover up his clock, it made him teel uneasy and he preferred not to know. He want the moment to be right because it feel right, not because the numbers on his wrist however accurate they might be) said so. Even so, He knew it is soon, the exact time slipped his mind but he knew that there were only hours left when he showered that morning. He had casually wondered what happens to the clock when it reaches zero... And so, on this day, the most important day of his life, Sean made no unusual etfort, the red scart around his wrist stopped the nerves. And the board under his feet distracted his mind. Where was he going? Sean wasn't sure. Fate knew Grinding to a stop at a busy road, his eyes were drawn to a boy in a bright blue sweatshirt, caretuly unnwrapping a bright red scarf from his right wrist He had his eyes closed, and appeared to be holding his breath Suddenly he opened his eyes, but before he looked at his wrist he giance upwards. Sean felt the thump of his heart stopping as their eyes met. The boy in blue began to run to Sean, his face full of happiness and uncertainty. forgetting to watch tramc. Sean was too late. A he could do was shout Bue was becoming stained with red as Sean ran to the fallen boy, He Iitted his right wrist to find the clock stopped at Od 0h Dm 1s and with a haunting feeling he began to unwrap his own wrist, he ddn't know what to hope for Sean's clock had stopped at Od 0h Om 1s There's a minute or so left. I am stil in my room, doodling on my laptop. The numbers bink to zero andi gasp. Ive drawn the most anatomically correct and dynamic figure I've ever been able to draw. "You excited? he asked. 1 can hardly stay soIl she replied. She could hear him chucking on the other side of the phone. His volce was deep when he spoke and she wondered if 1that's what he sounded ike in real life. She looked back down at her watch. One minute, forty seconds. She bounced in her place. She could hear the honking of cars on the other end. "Where are you? she asked Taking a wak he said. Then he gasped. "What? she asked, worried. Even though they had never officially met and had never seen a phato of the other, she had come to care for this voice on the other end of the phone. They had began e-mailing and soon they had grown very antached to each other see her. he said, in hushed tones. "On, my God, I see her. She knew who he was referring to. His clock counted down only a few seconds before hers. She felt her hopes falter, though she should have known trom the beginning that they could never have been together. "On, good!" she said, feigning happiness. She stepped off the curb and made to cross the road. A loud honk made her head snap around to see a truck racing towards her at ful speed.A hand grabbed her trozen body and puled her back. She clutched the stranger tightly, shivering. The clock on her wrist beeped as she looked up into green eyes. The boy put his phone to his ear. "Helo, he said, and his voice echoed from the speaker of her phone. s05 855 notes What if?omg-humor.tumblr.com
Cars, Click, and Clock: cthuhubringerofoookins themid..
 Source: ness-and-ins
 O003 03na4am 24
 demigods-in-the-tards
 mootiness:
 delicatness
 checkmyshon123
 gratuitousabs:
 a clock could count down
 to the moment
 you meet your soul mate, would you want to
 know?
 One minute, 37 seconds.
 My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way
 I can do this. None.
 One minute, 29 secods
 I glance around at the faces surrounding the
 room. Of course my Meeting would take place in
 the gross. overcrowded cateteria
 One minute, six seconds.
 Somewhere within these four wals, someone
 has the exact same countdown on their wrist.
 They're going through the exact same pressure as
 me.
 54 seconds.
 Mom said I shouid be excited, not nervous. Yet
 still find myset wiping my sweaty pams on my
 dress. I can't beleve she talked me into wearing a
 dress I mean, shouldn't my Soul Mate meet me
 as I normaly am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and
 wild brown curis?
 30 seconds
 Something deep within me tels me to stand up.
 I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They
 all know too, They smle encouragingly up at me.
 chew my Ip nervously.
 25 seconds
 That same feeling puls me towards the center
 of the room. My stomach drops away trom me as
 take a step in that direction.
 20 seconds.
 Icontinue in that direction. With each step the
 tempo of my heart picks up.
 19. Faster
 18. Quicker.
 17, More rapid
 16. It's racing.
 Oh my god this is it. The moment my afe
 changes forever
 My eyes search franticaly around the cafeteria
 searching for someone who looks as nervous as
 me. For someane who's heading towards their
 future with no sense of direction like me.
 10 seconds.
 The teeling directs me sightly to the let. I turn
 to accomodate.
 5. My heart has ghven up entrely
 4.1 stop walking
 3. Just wating left
 2. Everything is about to change
 1. Deep breath
 0000 d 00 h 00 m 00s
 Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around
 and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones
 "Hello there, love. It appears as though we're-
 Soul Mates then, eh?"
 As my words fal me, the only thing1 can think is
 Tm so glad I shaved this morning.
 I'm sitting outside a cafe when it happens, sipping
 some cheap drink, pretending to enjoy the sunshine.
 The counter runs to zero, and there is an audible click
 the tab deactivates, fals off. The cink
 of polyurethane to cobblestone fioor is echoed a few
 feet ahead of me. I shake a proffed hand, look up at a
 dsdaintul face
 This is al I get?
 It's just a couple more weeks, now. I've been watching
 closely as the numbers tick steadily down. Just a couple
 more weeks, I keep telling myself. Out of my group of
 triends, I'm on what they like to cal the "fast track" people
 whose numbers start much lower than others.
 Two weeks, six days, fiteen hours. The clock keeps ticking.
 Two weeks, one day, four hours
 The days are getting so close now Fm pretty sure
 my uncontrolable excitement is starting to seriously annoy
 everyone around me. My friends tease me incessantly about
 who they imagine my soul mate wil be. Tal, short. tat
 dmples, nail biter, foot tapper
 At one week, three days, and seven hours, the clock stops
 Instead of a soul mate I get condolences, a therapist, and a
 broken clock
 he had atways tried to cover up his clock, it made him teel
 uneasy and he preferred not to know. He want the moment to be
 right because it feel right, not because the numbers on his wrist
 however accurate they might be) said so.
 Even so, He knew it is soon, the exact time slipped his mind but
 he knew that there were only hours left when he showered that
 morning. He had casually wondered what happens to the clock
 when it reaches zero...
 And so, on this day, the most important day of his life, Sean
 made no unusual etfort, the red scart around his wrist stopped
 the nerves. And the board under his feet distracted his mind.
 Where was he going? Sean wasn't sure. Fate knew
 Grinding to a stop at a busy road, his eyes were drawn to a boy
 in a bright blue sweatshirt, caretuly unnwrapping a bright red
 scarf from his right wrist He had his eyes closed, and appeared
 to be holding his breath
 Suddenly he opened his eyes, but before he looked at his wrist
 he giance upwards. Sean felt the thump of his heart stopping as
 their eyes met.
 The boy in blue began to run to Sean, his face full of happiness
 and uncertainty. forgetting to watch tramc. Sean was too late. A
 he could do was shout
 Bue was becoming stained with red as Sean ran to the fallen
 boy, He Iitted his right wrist to find the clock stopped at Od 0h Dm
 1s and with a haunting feeling he began to unwrap his own wrist,
 he ddn't know what to hope for
 Sean's clock had stopped at Od 0h Om 1s
 There's a minute or so left.
 I am stil in my room, doodling on my laptop.
 The numbers bink to zero andi gasp.
 Ive drawn the most anatomically correct and dynamic figure I've
 ever been able to draw.
 "You excited? he asked.
 1 can hardly stay soIl she replied. She could hear him chucking on the
 other side of the phone. His volce was deep when he spoke and she
 wondered if 1that's what he sounded ike in real life. She looked back down
 at her watch. One minute, forty seconds. She bounced in her place.
 She could hear the honking of cars on the other end. "Where are you?
 she asked
 Taking a wak
 he said. Then he gasped.
 "What? she asked, worried. Even though they had never officially met
 and had never seen a phato of the other, she had come to care for this
 voice on the other end of the phone. They had began e-mailing and soon
 they had grown very antached to each other
 see her. he said, in hushed tones. "On, my God, I see her.
 She knew who he was referring to. His clock counted down only a few
 seconds before hers. She felt her hopes falter, though she should have
 known trom the beginning that they could never have been together.
 "On, good!" she said, feigning happiness.
 She stepped off the curb and made to cross the road. A loud honk made
 her head snap around to see a truck racing towards her at ful speed.A
 hand grabbed her trozen body and puled her back. She clutched the
 stranger tightly, shivering. The clock on her wrist beeped as she looked
 up into green eyes.
 The boy put his phone to his ear. "Helo,
 he said, and his voice echoed
 from the speaker of her phone.
 s05 855 notes
What if?omg-humor.tumblr.com

What if?omg-humor.tumblr.com