In Bed
In Bed

In Bed

Writer
Writer

Writer

breakfast princess
 breakfast princess

breakfast princess

typically
typically

typically

yours
yours

yours

bre
bre

bre

five
five

five

they
they

they

democrat
democrat

democrat

speedo
speedo

speedo

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Food, God, and Lol: ubercharge: sindri42: bettsplendens: dallasrecklessandrelentless: That fuckin smile at the end To the worried person in the comments:  No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep.  Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight. However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast. Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended. this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 
Food, God, and Lol: ubercharge:
sindri42:

bettsplendens:

dallasrecklessandrelentless:
That fuckin smile at the end
To the worried person in the comments: 
No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep. 

Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight.
However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast.
Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended.

this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 

ubercharge: sindri42: bettsplendens: dallasrecklessandrelentless: That fuckin smile at the end To the worried person in the comments:  No,...

Child Support, Children, and Condom: 宋 Slay Follow @Foreverlighty My homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see $116.63 after child support... this is some fucked up stuff Earnings rate hours this tod Regular Overtime 18.5900 8.00 1.487.20 27,8850 4.88 136.08 Holiday Pay Paid Time Off Gross Pa $1,623.28 Deductions Statuto Federal Income Tax -149.03 Social Security Tax Medicare Tax 83.99 -19.65 Other -210.42 49.64 Core Health Dental Support Order Support Order Support Order Support Order 268.19 -231.79 233.30 -252.03 Vision 8.51 Net Pa Checking S116.73 -116.73 mother of kittens gi Follow @redheaded_wreck I'm glad he's seeing consequences for his actions of having irresponsible sex Maybe he should have kept his legs closed if he wasn't ready to take responsibility for his actions://// Slayd @Foreverlighty iMy homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see $116.63 after child support this is some fucked up stuff Show this thread 9:28 AM - 18 May 2019 11,656 Retweets 47,401 Likes C s divestedblackwoman: bichaotic: ophelias-revenge: unheavenlycreature: sugarkat: theambassadorposts: Why does it look like 4 support payments? 4 kids?? Or am I just reading shit wrong Four kids he wasn’t supporting until a court order demanded it. Possibly more than one. Honestly? Precisely zero sympathy for the dude. first of all that says he worked 80 hours before hitting ot so this is a biweekly check…anyway i went and found the twitter thread and in it the dude confirms his friend had 4 different kids by 4 different women. so please allow me to play the world’s smallest violin for him for being court mandated to help take care of the children he brought into this world :’( :’( clearly he didn’t decide to start strapping up after the first, second, or even third child so maybe number four will be enough to convince him Men really be out there knocking up women left right and center and telling women “but baby it feels so much better without a condom!” and voting for dudes who are banning abortion and they cry about how they can’t trust women on birth control and they’re abandoning kids all over the country but we’re supposed to cry when the court says pay for your kids in a system where welfare and WIC is fucking peanuts and won’t even cover breakfast daily. Fuck their crocodile tears! Where’s the laws for forced castrations after men are irresponsible and have two kids they don’t want to support? Men who don’t like abortion or don’t wanna pay child support can wear a condom or have a vasectomy!! No sympathy for deadbeats. Pay the fuck up.
Child Support, Children, and Condom: 宋
 Slay
 Follow
 @Foreverlighty
 My homeboy make 16 hundred a week
 but he only see $116.63 after child
 support... this is some fucked up stuff

 Earnings
 rate
 hours
 this tod
 Regular
 Overtime
 18.5900 8.00
 1.487.20
 27,8850
 4.88
 136.08
 Holiday Pay
 Paid Time Off
 Gross Pa
 $1,623.28
 Deductions Statuto
 Federal Income Tax
 -149.03
 Social Security Tax
 Medicare Tax
 83.99
 -19.65
 Other
 -210.42
 49.64
 Core Health
 Dental
 Support Order
 Support Order
 Support Order
 Support Order
 268.19
 -231.79
 233.30
 -252.03
 Vision
 8.51
 Net Pa
 Checking
 S116.73
 -116.73

 mother of kittens
 gi
 Follow
 @redheaded_wreck
 I'm glad he's seeing consequences for
 his actions of having irresponsible sex
 Maybe he should have kept his legs
 closed if he wasn't ready to take
 responsibility for his actions:////
 Slayd @Foreverlighty
 iMy homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see
 $116.63 after child support this is some fucked up stuff
 Show this thread
 9:28 AM - 18 May 2019
 11,656 Retweets 47,401 Likes C
 s
divestedblackwoman:
bichaotic:

ophelias-revenge:

unheavenlycreature:


sugarkat:

theambassadorposts:
Why does it look like 4 support payments? 4 kids?? Or am I just reading shit wrong

Four kids he wasn’t supporting until a court order demanded it. Possibly more than one.
Honestly? Precisely zero sympathy for the dude.

first of all that says he worked 80 hours before hitting ot so this is a biweekly check…anyway i went and found the twitter thread and in it the dude confirms his friend had 4 different kids by 4 different women. so please allow me to play the world’s smallest violin for him for being court mandated to help take care of the children he brought into this world :’( :’( clearly he didn’t decide to start strapping up after the first, second, or even third child so maybe number four will be enough to convince him


Men really be out there knocking up women left right and center and telling women “but baby it feels so much better without a condom!” and voting for dudes who are banning abortion and they cry about how they can’t trust women on birth control and they’re abandoning kids all over the country but we’re supposed to cry when the court says pay for your kids in a system where welfare and WIC is fucking peanuts and won’t even cover breakfast daily. 
Fuck their crocodile tears! 
Where’s the laws for forced castrations after men are irresponsible and have two kids they don’t want to support? 


Men who don’t like abortion or don’t wanna pay child support can wear a condom or have a vasectomy!!


No sympathy for deadbeats. Pay the fuck up.

divestedblackwoman: bichaotic: ophelias-revenge: unheavenlycreature: sugarkat: theambassadorposts: Why does it look like 4 support paym...

Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks i dont shit that day next day i fiber myself up even more i dont shit that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore i dont shit the third day >i dont shit the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 si have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss suddenly stops the hole is plugged SOS >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to thee ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me blacking out the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the shit isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat after an hour it finally seems to be over sim shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar shakily wipe my ass completely clean feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg
Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg

feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CAN...