It
It

It

A
A

A

Lot
Lot

Lot

If You
If You

If You

Are
Are

Are

Took
Took

Took

With
With

With

Thats
Thats

Thats

Didnt
Didnt

Didnt

A Little
A Little

A Little

🔥 | Latest

Bits: MEM A EOS canon Canon EOS yaboybergara: wearewatcher: WATCHER LOG 002:Shane here! With that January 10th launch around the corner, we’re gonna be sharing lil bits that we’ve been keeping secret for the past few months. So here’s a photo of Ryan on the day we bought our first few pieces of gear at a local camera shop. Minutes earlier when we actually checked out at the register we were both filled with a palpable mix of excitement and (completely unjustified) dread, as this was the moment we started spending actual money on a thing that had thus far existed exclusively in our three brains and in Steven’s weird graph paper notebooks that he loves so much.You’re likely thinking, “But Ryan doesn’t look nervous at all here!” And you’re right. Why? They gave us a free hat with the camera, that’s why. Worries evaporate when you get a free hat, and with a renewed sense of creative enthusiasm I asked Ryan to pose like a cinematographer showing off his sick new haul. He looks kinda gassy but otherwise, dude nailed it.Anyway, if you haven’t yet, swing by youtube.com/watcher (link in bio) and peep the channel trailer. And subscribe if you haven’t yet. No harm in that. If you already have? Hey, thanks. Uh, what else? Reduce, reuse, recycle. Don’t litter. Support your local library. Alright. Plenty left for us to do before launch, so it’s about time I hit the dusty trail. Til next time, Watchers! -Shane BONUS:
Bits: MEM A EOS
 canon
 Canon
 EOS
yaboybergara:

wearewatcher: WATCHER LOG 002:Shane here! With that January 10th launch around the corner, we’re gonna be sharing lil bits that we’ve been keeping secret for the past few months. So here’s a photo of Ryan on the day we bought our first few pieces of gear at a local camera shop. Minutes earlier when we actually checked out at the register we were both filled with a palpable mix of excitement and (completely unjustified) dread, as this was the moment we started spending actual money on a thing that had thus far existed exclusively in our three brains and in Steven’s weird graph paper notebooks that he loves so much.You’re likely thinking, “But Ryan doesn’t look nervous at all here!” And you’re right. Why? They gave us a free hat with the camera, that’s why. Worries evaporate when you get a free hat, and with a renewed sense of creative enthusiasm I asked Ryan to pose like a cinematographer showing off his sick new haul. He looks kinda gassy but otherwise, dude nailed it.Anyway, if you haven’t yet, swing by youtube.com/watcher (link in bio) and peep the channel trailer. And subscribe if you haven’t yet. No harm in that. If you already have? Hey, thanks. Uh, what else? Reduce, reuse, recycle. Don’t litter. Support your local library. Alright. Plenty left for us to do before launch, so it’s about time I hit the dusty trail. Til next time, Watchers! -Shane

BONUS:

yaboybergara: wearewatcher: WATCHER LOG 002:Shane here! With that January 10th launch around the corner, we’re gonna be sharing lil bits...

Bits: Paris Hilton KA PA D.O.B. 1981-02-17 Soclalite Actor TV Personality MEAN 33% OK 10% NICE 67% Best known for: The Simple Life Hilton sex tape Paris Hilton's My New BFF SHARE YOUR STORY Stories Random Things My Step Sister Told Me Some random things told to me by my step sister who used to work for Paris: Paris has a room full of vintage radios from ww2 aircraft and the like. She restores them. There is always a smell of burning coming from the room. Nobody is allowed in. She has a telescope on a platform. My sister was often required to climb onto the roof with beef sandwiches and a flask of tea as Paris was up there looking at the sky. She also has 100's of notebooks full of numbers which somehow relate to what she sees through the telescope Behind closed doors Paris only wears pajamas which she gets delivered from the British store Marks and Spencers She doesn't come across as dim like she does when the cameras are around. She's very quiet. She bought my sister a playstation and some reindeer socks for Christmas Saved Me In Germany And Towed Me To A Garage My car broke down on an autobahn in Germany. Managed to coast to sort of layby thing with a burger van and toilets in it. I was in a bad state because I can't speak any German, my phone had no credit and I didn't have my breakdown details with me so I had no idea what to do. I unsuccessfully asked the guy in the burger van for help and he apparently didn't speak English so rather pathetically I started to cry. Then this big old American guy appeared and offered me a cup of tea in his motor home (it wasn't proper tea but that's besides the point). In the van was another guy and friggin Paris Hilton! I kid ye not. She was sweet and made me a sandwich and gave me a hug then proceeded to talk to me for 30mins about some old radio bits she'd bought in some show in Freidrichshafen. I didn't understand most of it. She said that when she wasn't working she liked to drive about Europe going to radio and air shows as if she put a hat on nobody ever recognised her. Then they towed me to a garage at about 40km per hour (scarey stuff on the autobahn). Oh yeah and she sat in my car and asked if it was ok before she smoked. theghostofallexander: zodiacbaby: prominent-nipple: oh my gOD LMFAOOLL WHAAATT oh my god
Bits: Paris Hilton
 KA
 PA
 D.O.B. 1981-02-17 Soclalite Actor TV Personality
 MEAN
 33%
 OK 10%
 NICE
 67%
 Best known for:
 The Simple Life
 Hilton sex tape
 Paris Hilton's My New BFF
 SHARE YOUR STORY
 Stories

 Random Things My Step Sister Told Me
 Some random things told to me by my step sister who used to work for Paris: Paris has a room full of vintage
 radios from ww2 aircraft and the like. She restores them.
 There is always a smell of burning coming from the room. Nobody is allowed in.
 She has a telescope on a platform. My sister was often required to climb onto the roof with beef sandwiches and a
 flask of tea as Paris was up there looking at the sky.
 She also has 100's of notebooks full of numbers which somehow relate to what she sees through the telescope
 Behind closed doors Paris only wears pajamas which she gets delivered from the British store Marks and
 Spencers
 She doesn't come across as dim like she does when the cameras are around. She's very quiet.
 She bought my sister a playstation and some reindeer socks for Christmas

 Saved Me In Germany And Towed Me To A Garage
 My car broke down on an autobahn in Germany. Managed to coast to sort of layby thing with a burger van and
 toilets in it. I was in a bad state because I can't speak any German, my phone had no credit and I didn't have my
 breakdown details with me so I had no idea what to do.
 I unsuccessfully asked the guy in the burger van for help and he apparently didn't speak English so rather
 pathetically I started to cry. Then this big old American guy appeared and offered me a cup of tea in his motor
 home (it wasn't proper tea but that's besides the point). In the van was another guy and friggin Paris Hilton! I kid
 ye not.
 She was sweet and made me a sandwich and gave me a hug then proceeded to talk to me for 30mins about
 some old radio bits she'd bought in some show in Freidrichshafen. I didn't understand most of it. She said that
 when she wasn't working she liked to drive about Europe going to radio and air shows as if she put a hat on
 nobody ever recognised her.
 Then they towed me to a garage at about 40km per hour (scarey stuff on the autobahn). Oh yeah and she sat in
 my car and asked if it was ok before she smoked.
theghostofallexander:

zodiacbaby:

prominent-nipple:

oh my gOD

LMFAOOLL WHAAATT

oh my god

theghostofallexander: zodiacbaby: prominent-nipple: oh my gOD LMFAOOLL WHAAATT oh my god

Bits: Benjamin Molineaux @benmolineaux Kids today: "you mean the save' button represents some kind of physical storage disk? OMG" Me today: "you mean 'upper case' and 'lower case' refer to the physical cases where printers kept their letters? OMG" Upper Case ib @% % 2 Em E& ECE BCDEFG L MINO PQR TVW X Y Z fA 4 5 6 718 e b n m En Em y p w QdOds JEm t Space Quads Lower Case 3.15 Pair of printer's cases (drawn by Rudolph Rižicka for D.B. Updike's Printing Types). 19:24 13 Sep 19 Twitter Web App Marc Verstaen @verstaen Replying to @benmolineaux and @GlennF It has French roots. Case means box in old French. Upper boxes, lower boxes. Bas de case, haut de case. 12:26 14 Sep 19 Twitter for iPhone Starburst vacuum @miopapio 4d Replying to @benmolineaux and @MaryRobinette now i only need to understand where the words type and font come from, and i'm done 1 21 Don Mackie @mackie_don 4d Font has a common root with found as in foundry. Type cast from molten metal. Having seen them in action Linotype machines are among my favourite bits of machinery. A giant typewriter with a furnace and crucible of molten lead at the back. There's a romance here. Y PE:THE FIL M GIF Li 15 6 204 Jason Thorpe @thorpej 3d Font designers are still called foundries. 1 28 3d Mary Robinette Kowal@ Jaw drops 11 pfarq @pfarqeu 1d Also, "leading" isn't the amount of space that "leads" the type, it is the size of the lead (metal) strips used to create said space. 1 Henningham Family Press. Replying to @benmolineaux and @MargotAtwell 4d Point sizes are seemingly random between typefaces because they refer to the piece of lead the type was on which you can no longer see 15 1 Katrina@KatrinaTransfem 4d There are 72 points in an inch, and the point size refers to the total height of the character set 2i 1 2 24 Margot Atwell @MargotAt... 4d Wow, I never realized this. I love type history! 1 2 Moon-faced Assassin...4 Replying to @benmolineaux and @Kilalalaa Also, in a printing press, putting a bunch of common words or phrases together is accomplished by mounting them in a single plate of text called a "Stereotype." And the sound it makes when it's pressed to the page is "cliche." Swear to god. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clich%C3%.. ti 40 125 drst: arrghigiveup: TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed). Bonus: These are my people.
Bits: Benjamin Molineaux
 @benmolineaux
 Kids today: "you mean the
 save' button represents some
 kind of physical storage disk?
 OMG"
 Me today: "you mean 'upper
 case' and 'lower case' refer
 to the physical cases where
 printers kept their letters?
 OMG"
 Upper
 Case
 ib @% %
 2 Em E& ECE
 BCDEFG
 L MINO
 PQR
 TVW
 X Y Z
 fA
 4 5 6 718
 e
 b
 n
 m
 En Em
 y p w QdOds
 JEm
 t
 Space
 Quads
 Lower
 Case
 3.15 Pair of printer's cases (drawn by Rudolph Rižicka for D.B. Updike's
 Printing Types).
 19:24 13 Sep 19 Twitter Web App

 Marc Verstaen
 @verstaen
 Replying to @benmolineaux and @GlennF
 It has French roots. Case
 means box in old French.
 Upper boxes, lower boxes. Bas
 de case, haut de case.
 12:26 14 Sep 19 Twitter for iPhone

 Starburst vacuum @miopapio 4d
 Replying to @benmolineaux and
 @MaryRobinette
 now i only need to understand where
 the words type and font come from,
 and i'm done
 1
 21
 Don Mackie @mackie_don 4d
 Font has a common root with found
 as in foundry. Type cast from molten
 metal. Having seen them in action
 Linotype machines are among my
 favourite bits of machinery. A giant
 typewriter with a furnace and
 crucible of molten lead at the back.
 There's a romance here.
 Y PE:THE FIL M
 GIF
 Li 15
 6
 204
 Jason Thorpe @thorpej 3d
 Font designers are still called
 foundries.
 1
 28
 3d
 Mary Robinette Kowal@
 Jaw drops
 11
 pfarq @pfarqeu 1d
 Also, "leading" isn't the amount of
 space that "leads" the type, it is the
 size of the lead (metal) strips used to
 create said space.
 1

 Henningham Family Press.
 Replying to @benmolineaux and
 @MargotAtwell
 4d
 Point sizes are seemingly random
 between typefaces because they
 refer to the piece of lead the type
 was on which you can no longer see
 15
 1
 Katrina@KatrinaTransfem 4d
 There are 72 points in an inch, and
 the point size refers to the total
 height of the character set
 2i 1
 2
 24
 Margot Atwell @MargotAt... 4d
 Wow, I never realized this. I love type
 history!
 1
 2

 Moon-faced Assassin...4
 Replying to @benmolineaux and
 @Kilalalaa
 Also, in a printing press, putting a
 bunch of common words or phrases
 together is accomplished by
 mounting them in a single plate of
 text called a "Stereotype."
 And the sound it makes when it's
 pressed to the page is "cliche."
 Swear to god.
 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clich%C3%..
 ti 40
 125
drst:
arrghigiveup:

TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed).
Bonus:

These are my people.

drst: arrghigiveup: TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed). Bonus: These are my people.

Bits: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister. positive-memes:Bed time stories
Bits: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
positive-memes:Bed time stories

positive-memes:Bed time stories

Bits: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them. NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep? Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg? Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister
Bits: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them.
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister
Bits: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister. Bed time stories
Bits: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
Bed time stories

Bed time stories

Bits: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED of only they taught beauty class like this Best description of sugar scrub ever.
Bits: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Bits: Humans are adorable. Supporting evidence: 1. Humans say 'ow', even if they haven't actually been hurt. It's just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren't sure yet. 2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring 3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can't even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash! 4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding. 5. Some humans spend time in each other's nests! Just for fun! It's not their nest, they're just visiting each other. 6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes! 7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don't seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young! 8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures! 9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves! 10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated 11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc 12. They're learning to travel in space!! They can't get very far, but they're trying!!! So far, they've made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Katqsu
Bits: Humans are adorable.
 Supporting evidence:
 1. Humans say 'ow', even if they haven't actually been
 hurt. It's just a thing they say when they think they might
 have been hurt, but aren't sure yet.
 2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies
 and nests with them. The shinier the better, although
 each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
 3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious
 species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play
 in it. They can't even hold their breath all that long; they
 just love to splash!
 4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans
 become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft,
 fluffy bedding.
 5. Some humans spend time in each other's nests! Just
 for fun! It's not their nest, they're just visiting each other.
 6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their
 bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny
 dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
 7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt
 creatures from other species into their family units. They
 don't seem to notice the obvious differences, and often
 raise them alongside their own young!
 8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can
 commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own
 risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!
 9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it
 will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying
 themselves!
 10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely
 adorable. Especially when the human in question
 becomes frustrated
 11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many
 humans will save these treats specifically for a later date
 when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE,
 pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
 12. They're learning to travel in space!! They can't get
 very far, but they're trying!!! So far, they've made it to the
 end of their yard, and have found rocks
Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Katqsu

Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2Katqsu

Bits: Humans are adorable. Supporting evidence: 1. Humans say 'ow', even if they haven't actually been hurt. It's just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren't sure yet. 2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring 3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can't even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash! 4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding. 5. Some humans spend time in each other's nests! Just for fun! It's not their nest, they're just visiting each other. 6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes! 7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don't seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young! 8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures! 9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves! 10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated 11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc 12. They're learning to travel in space!! They can't get very far, but they're trying!!! So far, they've made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better
Bits: Humans are adorable.
 Supporting evidence:
 1. Humans say 'ow', even if they haven't actually been
 hurt. It's just a thing they say when they think they might
 have been hurt, but aren't sure yet.
 2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies
 and nests with them. The shinier the better, although
 each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
 3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious
 species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play
 in it. They can't even hold their breath all that long; they
 just love to splash!
 4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans
 become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft,
 fluffy bedding.
 5. Some humans spend time in each other's nests! Just
 for fun! It's not their nest, they're just visiting each other.
 6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their
 bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny
 dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
 7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt
 creatures from other species into their family units. They
 don't seem to notice the obvious differences, and often
 raise them alongside their own young!
 8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can
 commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own
 risk, most humans are
 deeply compassionate creatures!
 9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it
 will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying
 themselves!
 10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely
 adorable. Especially when the human in question
 becomes frustrated
 11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many
 humans will save these treats specifically for a later date
 when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE,
 pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
 12. They're learning to travel in space!! They can't get
 very far, but they're trying!!! So far, they've made it to the
 end of their yard, and have found rocks
Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better

Definitely not new, but every time this shows up I feel a little better

Bits: wha!? Sl BAPU BAPTIST CHUR(H SUS DISGUST MyCHILD Dortyouatti? SaSin!God condemns W all! BRIAN heed to have a talk 0 CHRISTIANS CELEBRATE TH ISLAMIC TEMPUE I didnt die ona Cross for this BS RADICAL righte homoSexvality ar the last 2.000 yearsold. prismatic-bell: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: prismatic-bell: broken-bits-of-dreams: prismatic-bell: aiko-mori-hates-pedos: artbymoga: Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012… Good post OP Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty. WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing: 1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice. 2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time. 3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.” Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening. Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.” 4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy). So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.) Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers: Much appreciated.
Bits: wha!?
 Sl
 BAPU
 BAPTIST
 CHUR(H
 SUS
 DISGUST
 MyCHILD

 Dortyouatti?
 SaSin!God
 condemns W
 all!
 BRIAN
 heed to
 have a
 talk
 0

 CHRISTIANS
 CELEBRATE TH
 ISLAMIC TEMPUE
 I didnt
 die ona
 Cross for
 this BS
 RADICAL

 righte
 homoSexvality
 ar the last
 2.000 yearsold.
prismatic-bell:
the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99:


prismatic-bell:


broken-bits-of-dreams:

prismatic-bell:


aiko-mori-hates-pedos:

artbymoga:
Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012…

Good post OP


Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty.


WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC

Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing: 

1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice.

2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time.

3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.” 

Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening. 

Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.” 

4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy).


So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.)


Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers:








Much appreciated.

prismatic-bell: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: prismatic-bell: broken-bits-of-dreams: prismatic-bell: aiko-mori-hates-pedos: artby...