Thats
Thats

Thats

Behind The
Behind The

Behind The

From
From

From

The
The

The

Personalize
Personalize

Personalize

But
But

But

When
When

When

Gotted
Gotted

Gotted

Shoulders
Shoulders

Shoulders

Someone Looking
Someone Looking

Someone Looking

🔥 | Latest

Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddamn-doomguy: captainsnoop: big dick energy Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans. This is genuinely beyond big dick energy It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE) Holy shit Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.  Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.   ALPHA AF!!! I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him. Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.
Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon:

afairlypudgycat:

whiskeyworen:

jaxblade:

norseminuteman:

red-faced-wolf:

kasaron:


bears-for-the-bear-god:

the-goddamn-doomguy:

captainsnoop:
big dick energy
Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans.


This is genuinely beyond big dick energy

It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE)


Holy shit 

Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT. 
Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.  

ALPHA AF!!!

I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him.

Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time


Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.

fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddam...

Being Alone, Cats, and Do It Again: CAT BEHAvioURS ExplAiNED CATS FACES 2) CAT WITH EARS UPRIGHT, SITTING UP AND ALERT 1) CAT WITH EARS 3) CAT WITH EARS FLAT BACK, EYES WIDE OPEN FORWARD Im pleased to see you.If you hold outyour handImight give it a mlistening intently. Was it a bird bump to say hello (or a sniffifIoramouse?Im not sure but Im Im feeling scared or anxious am shy) offtofindout CATS NOISES MIAOW! PURRRR! MYIP!MYIP! 4) PURR 5) CHIRRUP /MIAOW HellolWelcome home! Is my dinnerready yet? 6) CHATTERING AT THE WINDOW I purr because of most things (dinner strokes, sitting in sunshine but mainly because youúve given me some form of I've spottedpreyoutside the window but I dont think Ican catch it contact andI like it. CATs PoSTURES 7) CAT WITH BACK HUNCHED UP AND TAIL AND FUR ON END, 8) CAT SHOWING YOU ITS BEHIND 9) CAT ROLLING ON BACK TO EXPOSE STOMACH GROWLING OR HISSINC Dont be offended Im just being friendly We cats say hello toeach Itrust you but watchyour fingers Im being defensive.lim puffing other by sniffing tails, just like ifyou decide to give me a tickle,I dogs. my hair out to make myselflook bigger so whatever Im scaredof leaves me alone. might be in the mood to play. Why DoEs My CAT Do THAr? 10) CAT BRINGING A CIFT 12) CAT KNEADING 11) CAT RUBBING AGAINST A TABLE / PERSON Imgetting comfy, kneading you is just like needing mymum. Im trying to teach you howto hunt.See what a goodhunter am. This is my home andIscent things to find mywayaround. 13) CAT IN A BoX / BAG 14) MONORAIL CAT CAT 15) CAT FACE, SHOWING WITH NO LEGS This might look silly to you, but it makes me feel safe-Ican seeyou but you cant seeme! SLOW CLOSING OF EYES WHILST MAKING EYE CONTACT Im happy and relaxed You could call this mysphinx loaforeven monorail position. Youre getting akiss.Ifyou copy me, Imightjust do it again.Iflam in the mood Sainsbury's Bank simonalkenmayer: ceoolsson: americaninfographic: Cat Behavior a lot of people tend to confuse cats showing their belly for belly rubs, but it’s actually only something dogs do, for cats its a sign of respect and trust, they are not expecting to get pet, so when they do it’s not uncommon they get startled or think its play fight, of course there are expectations and some cats who ADORES belly rubs Nothing explains cats. Tumblr stop trying to make a liar out of me.
Being Alone, Cats, and Do It Again: CAT BEHAvioURS ExplAiNED
 CATS FACES
 2) CAT WITH EARS
 UPRIGHT, SITTING UP
 AND ALERT
 1) CAT WITH EARS
 3) CAT WITH EARS FLAT
 BACK, EYES WIDE OPEN
 FORWARD
 Im pleased to see you.If you hold
 outyour handImight give it a mlistening intently. Was it a bird
 bump to say hello (or a sniffifIoramouse?Im not sure but Im
 Im feeling scared or anxious
 am shy)
 offtofindout
 CATS NOISES
 MIAOW!
 PURRRR!
 MYIP!MYIP!
 4) PURR
 5) CHIRRUP /MIAOW
 HellolWelcome home! Is my
 dinnerready yet?
 6) CHATTERING AT THE
 WINDOW
 I purr because of most things
 (dinner strokes, sitting in
 sunshine but mainly because
 youúve given me some form of
 I've spottedpreyoutside the
 window but I dont think Ican
 catch it
 contact andI like it.

 CATs PoSTURES
 7) CAT WITH BACK
 HUNCHED UP AND TAIL
 AND FUR ON END,
 8) CAT SHOWING YOU ITS
 BEHIND
 9) CAT ROLLING ON
 BACK TO EXPOSE
 STOMACH
 GROWLING OR HISSINC Dont be offended Im just being
 friendly We cats say hello toeach Itrust you but watchyour fingers
 Im being defensive.lim puffing other by sniffing tails, just like ifyou decide to give me a tickle,I
 dogs.
 my hair out to make myselflook
 bigger so whatever Im scaredof
 leaves me alone.
 might be in the mood to play.

 Why DoEs My CAT Do THAr?
 10) CAT BRINGING A
 CIFT
 12) CAT KNEADING
 11) CAT RUBBING
 AGAINST A TABLE /
 PERSON
 Imgetting comfy, kneading you is
 just like needing mymum.
 Im trying to teach you howto
 hunt.See what a goodhunter
 am.
 This is my home andIscent
 things to find mywayaround.
 13) CAT IN A BoX / BAG 14) MONORAIL CAT CAT 15) CAT FACE, SHOWING
 WITH NO LEGS
 This might look silly to you, but it
 makes me feel safe-Ican seeyou
 but you cant seeme!
 SLOW CLOSING OF EYES
 WHILST MAKING EYE
 CONTACT
 Im happy and relaxed You could
 call this mysphinx loaforeven
 monorail position.
 Youre getting akiss.Ifyou copy
 me, Imightjust do it again.Iflam
 in the mood
 Sainsbury's Bank
simonalkenmayer:

ceoolsson:

americaninfographic:

Cat Behavior


a lot of people tend to confuse cats showing their belly for belly rubs, but it’s actually only something dogs do, for cats its a sign of respect and trust, they are not expecting to get pet, so when they do it’s not uncommon they get startled or think its play fight, of course there are expectations and some cats who ADORES belly rubs

Nothing explains cats. Tumblr stop trying to make a liar out of me.

simonalkenmayer: ceoolsson: americaninfographic: Cat Behavior a lot of people tend to confuse cats showing their belly for belly rubs, ...

9/11, Arthur, and Club: Remembering the 49 people who lost their lives as a result of the Pulse Massacre. Stanley Almodovar III, 23 Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 Amanda L. Alvear, 25 Brenda Marquez McCool, 49 Oscar A. Aracena Montero, 26 Gilberto R. Silva Menendez, 25 Rodolfo Ayala Ayala, 33 Kimberly Jean Morris, 37 Antonio Davon Bron, 29 Akyra Monet Murray, 18 Darryl Roman Burt lI, 29 Luis Omar Ocasio Capo, 20 Angel Candelario-Padro, 28 Geraldo A. Ortiz Jimenez, 25 Juan Chavez Martinez, 25 Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 Luis Daniel Conde, 39 Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 Cory James Connell, 21 Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 Jean Carlos Nieves Rodríguez, 27 Simón Adrian Carrillo Fernández, 31 Xavier Emmanuel Serrano-Rosado, 35 Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 Yilmary Rodríguez Solivan, 24 Peter Ommy Gonzalez Cruz, 22 Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 Paul Terrell Henry, 41 Martin Benitez Torres, 33 Frank Hernandez, 27 Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24 Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 Juan Pablo Rivera Velázquez, 37 Javier Jorge Reyes, 40 Luis Sergio Vielma, 22 Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 Franky Jimmy DeJesus Velázquez, 50 Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25 Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 peachtipple: gaytimesmag On June 12 2016, Pulse Nightclub in Orlando was the scene of one of the deadliest mass shootings by a single assailant in the history of the United States. At the time, it marked the deadliest terrorist attack on US soil since the tragedy of 9/11. Today we remember the 49 people who lost their lives that night. 🖤 Head to gaytimes.co.uk to read our interview with the team behind Pulse on what this anniversary means to them, and how the club has become an enduring reminder of how far we’ve left to go. 🏳️‍🌈
9/11, Arthur, and Club: Remembering the 49
 people who lost their
 lives as a result of the
 Pulse Massacre.

 Stanley Almodovar III, 23 Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21
 Amanda L. Alvear, 25 Brenda Marquez McCool, 49
 Oscar A. Aracena Montero, 26 Gilberto R. Silva Menendez, 25
 Rodolfo Ayala Ayala, 33 Kimberly Jean Morris, 37
 Antonio Davon Bron, 29 Akyra Monet Murray, 18
 Darryl Roman Burt lI, 29 Luis Omar Ocasio Capo, 20
 Angel Candelario-Padro, 28 Geraldo A. Ortiz Jimenez, 25
 Juan Chavez Martinez, 25 Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36
 Luis Daniel Conde, 39 Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32
 Cory James Connell, 21 Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35
 Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25
 Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 Jean Carlos Nieves Rodríguez, 27
 Simón Adrian Carrillo Fernández, 31 Xavier Emmanuel Serrano-Rosado, 35
 Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24
 Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 Yilmary Rodríguez Solivan, 24
 Peter Ommy Gonzalez Cruz, 22 Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34
 Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33
 Paul Terrell Henry, 41 Martin Benitez Torres, 33
 Frank Hernandez, 27 Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24
 Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 Juan Pablo Rivera Velázquez, 37
 Javier Jorge Reyes, 40 Luis Sergio Vielma, 22
 Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 Franky Jimmy DeJesus Velázquez, 50
 Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37
 Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25 Jerald Arthur Wright, 31
 Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32
peachtipple:

gaytimesmag On June 12 2016, Pulse Nightclub in Orlando was the scene of one of the deadliest mass shootings by a single assailant in the history of the United States. At the time, it marked the deadliest terrorist attack on US soil since the tragedy of 9/11. Today we remember the 49 people who lost their lives that night. 🖤 Head to gaytimes.co.uk to read our interview with the team behind Pulse on what this anniversary means to them, and how the club has become an enduring reminder of how far we’ve left to go. 🏳️‍🌈

peachtipple: gaytimesmag On June 12 2016, Pulse Nightclub in Orlando was the scene of one of the deadliest mass shootings by a single assai...

Brains, Fucking, and Guns: change.org Trending petition Matt There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it. meatswitch: snakegay: indianworiorprincess: snakegay: jorycancrochet: gorps: blipblerp: hungwy: lgbltsandwitch: ssj14goku: dildomuncher3000: ssj14goku: domozillla: ssj14goku: thetwinkerbell: ssj14goku: Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger. The finger blocks it The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond. The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded. No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong. Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger. No the finger would stop it I’m loving the idiocy of this post. Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom… Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics :V no the finger would stop it You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses the finger would stop it
Brains, Fucking, and Guns: change.org Trending petition
 Matt There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we
 think you might be interested in signing it.
meatswitch:
snakegay:


indianworiorprincess:

snakegay:


jorycancrochet:

gorps:

blipblerp:


hungwy:

lgbltsandwitch:


ssj14goku:

dildomuncher3000:

ssj14goku:

domozillla:

ssj14goku:

thetwinkerbell:

ssj14goku:

Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them

It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger

No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this

This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.

The finger blocks it

The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.

The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand


People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded.



No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong.


Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.


No the finger would stop it


I’m loving the idiocy of this post.
Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…
Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics :V

no the finger would stop it


You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer  to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet.  Dumdasses

the finger would stop it

meatswitch: snakegay: indianworiorprincess: snakegay: jorycancrochet: gorps: blipblerp: hungwy: lgbltsandwitch: ssj14goku: dild...

Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS . RESTAURANTS HEALTH- WE G SITI[+ REAL ESIATE & HEUE· 1HINGS 10 De- 酉EDDING- BEST 0F PEILLY MAGAZINE Q Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it, you had to say so out loud MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm polyglotplatypus: please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS .
 RESTAURANTS
 HEALTH-
 WE G SITI[+
 REAL ESIATE & HEUE·
 1HINGS 10 De-
 酉EDDING-
 BEST 0F PEILLY
 MAGAZINE
 Q
 Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the
 Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry
 needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of
 what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you
 drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you
 slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on
 rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was
 aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it,
 you had to say so out loud
 MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who
 works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also
 have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college.
 Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young
 people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the
 depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But
 for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an
 actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise
 The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name
 derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where
 the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate
 his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an
 emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm
polyglotplatypus:

please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

polyglotplatypus: please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise indus...

Beard, Clothes, and Head: 0134 %D21:58 02-UK e Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response: Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountain The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to: 1. chance crossing the bridge. 2. Continue down the path. 3. Stop to fish. & You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water. 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate 1 You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourself out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black... when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks. When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says: "Hey you, you're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there"
Beard, Clothes, and Head: 0134 %D21:58
 02-UK e
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response:
 Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountain
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to:
 1. chance crossing the bridge.
 2. Continue down the path.
 3. Stop to fish.
 &
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water.
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 1
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourself
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black...
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says:
 "Hey you, you're finally awake.
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"