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Beautiful, Cats, and Family: lord-kitschener Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they're tragic famine victims who haven't eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now because you're 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me artaeum the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it instructionsfordancing not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion lord-kitschener This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs catsuggest wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?! goldenmeme My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn't seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time l went to double check that he did indeed have food, he'd book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as l walked away he'd follow me screaming again. Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we're a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I'm ever out for more than 12 hours I'll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he's been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. teashoesandhair Things my cat has cried at: I wouldn't let her jump on top of the burning hot stove .I moved my coat so that she couldn't scale the kitchen chair and jump on people's shoulders when they walked past I didn't scratch her cheek firmly enough She ate her entire meal allowance for the day in one sitting at 9am and was famished by 10am I didn't let her sit behind me on the toilet seat I wouldn't let her eat toothpaste I wouldn't let her eat the cork from a wine bottle I wouldn't let her eat the straw that my rabbit had pissed on . . . Cats are inherently ridiculous creatures and this is why they are perfect. wishyroses Cats are like two year olds but sharp Source: lord-kitschener 122,537 notes Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD
Beautiful, Cats, and Family: lord-kitschener
 Obviously I want you to take care of your pets
 and make sure they get food and fresh water
 on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama
 queens and screaming hysterically at you and
 acting like they're tragic famine victims who
 haven't eaten in weeks and are about to drop
 dead from starvation right mcfuckin now
 because you're 10 minutes late feeding them
 is always going to be one of the funniest
 things to me
 artaeum
 the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at
 was mad yesterday because his dinner was
 half an hour late due to a busy day. he
 proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage
 cans and tried to knock them over and started
 desperately scavenging for scraps of food
 because obviously no one loves him or cares
 about him and if he must eat garbage to
 survive then so be it
 instructionsfordancing
 not food related, but one time my cat cried at
 me for 20 minutes before i worked out that
 the reason why she was upset was because
 there was a coat hanger on her favourite
 cushion
 lord-kitschener
 This is absolutely beautiful and changed my
 life, thank you so much. Please protect her
 from hangers at all costs
 catsuggest
 wow. am STORVING and humaines here
 making joke laugh at cate honger ?!
 goldenmeme
 My cat is a social eater who is not food
 motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first
 got him because he didn't seem to care about
 food but he would SCREAM at me for hours
 when I knew his bowl was full. Any time l
 went to double check that he did indeed have
 food, he'd book it to the bowl and snarf like
 his life depended on it, but as soon as l
 walked away he'd follow me screaming again.
 Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a
 dining companion and was screaming about
 how we're a family and families eat together,
 god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my
 computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if
 I'm ever out for more than 12 hours I'll come
 home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty
 huff because dinner has been ready for hours
 but he's been trying to be considerate (unlike
 some humans) and waiting for me to eat it.
 teashoesandhair
 Things my cat has cried at:
 I wouldn't let her jump on top of the
 burning hot stove
 .I moved my coat so that she couldn't scale
 the kitchen chair and jump on people's
 shoulders when they walked past
 I didn't scratch her cheek firmly enough
 She ate her entire meal allowance for the
 day in one sitting at 9am and was famished
 by 10am
 I didn't let her sit behind me on the toilet
 seat
 I wouldn't let her eat toothpaste
 I wouldn't let her eat the cork from a wine
 bottle
 I wouldn't let her eat the straw that my
 rabbit had pissed on
 .
 .
 .
 Cats are inherently ridiculous creatures and
 this is why they are perfect.
 wishyroses
 Cats are like two year olds but sharp
 Source: lord-kitschener
 122,537 notes
Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD

Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD

Bad, Disney, and Drinking: THE INCREDIBLY DARK SOURCE MATERIAL OF THE LITTLE MERMAID Besides wanting to bang the prince, The Little Mermaid exchanges not the Little Mermaid also seeks an eternal soul, since mermaids turn to as well. sea foam and cease to exis only her voice, but her tongue THANKS A LOT! Ew Also drinking the potion İnakesner feel-as if a šword is being stabbed through her body And to make things worse, he marries a girl If she manages to marry the prince, she'll obtain part of his soul. If not, she'll die and turn into sea foam who turns out to be a princess - from a temple who found him after the Little Mermaid rescued him She gets her legs and ..but it feels as he's able to dance if she is walking beautifully on sharp knives. SIKE The prince ㈧es n't know that, nce constantly No evil scheme by Ursula or anythíng, just bad luck though, so he makes h The Little Mermaid is heartbroken and awaits However, she's unable kill the prince sleeping seafoamification, but her sisters bring her a with his new wife and throws herself off the Inife that the Sea Witch has giv oeriship as she dissolves into foam If she kills the prince and let his blood dri on her feet, she'll become a mermaid again WHAT IS SHE TRYING TO SAY? WHY DOES EVERYONE SEEM TO BE O8SESSED WITH GRUNT KNIVES AND FEET?! Ewl the chance to do good deeds for for 300 years so she can rise up into the Kingdom of God enAlso, it's unclear whether or not Sebastian had a Jamaican accent. JUST 299 YEARS, 11 MONTHS AND 14 DAYS LEFT NOW HAUD YER WHEESHT YA WEE BURD IFWA WA YA THINK ISNAE BELTER DOON HERE IN THE LOCH, BUT YER BEIN A WEE BAMPOT. TAKE IT FAE ME, LANNIN ON BAWHEID AN YA LOCH, BUT YER 8NA 8E A UP GONNAE NO DAE THAT. DONNAE DINGY US AND KEEP YER CHEBS DOON HERE. DOON HERE IS PURE BRAW HERE PATTER/ ASK THE KELPIE, PATTER.ASK THE KELPIE, IT'S A MESS GINGER AND DODGY LAELPE IT'S A MINGIN PLACE, EXCEPT FOR AULD REEKIE MAYBE DONNAE EVEN HAV BREEKS YA GOON Crabs are found all over the world so for all we know he could be Scottish C3WOODENPLANKSTUDIOS.COM LE)WOODENPLANKSTUDIOS @WOODENPLANKST DPATREON.COM/WOODENPLANKSTUDIOS omg-images: Disney Uncensored - The Little Mermaid
Bad, Disney, and Drinking: THE INCREDIBLY DARK
 SOURCE MATERIAL OF
 THE LITTLE MERMAID
 Besides wanting to bang the prince, The Little Mermaid exchanges not
 the Little Mermaid also seeks an
 eternal soul, since mermaids turn to as well.
 sea foam and cease to exis
 only her voice, but her tongue
 THANKS A LOT!
 Ew
 Also drinking the potion İnakesner feel-as if
 a šword is being stabbed through her body
 And to make things worse, he marries a girl
 If she manages to marry the prince, she'll
 obtain part of his soul. If not, she'll die
 and turn into sea foam
 who turns out to be a princess - from a
 temple who found him after the Little
 Mermaid rescued him
 She gets her legs and ..but it feels as
 he's able to dance if she is walking
 beautifully
 on sharp knives.
 SIKE
 The prince ㈧es n't know that,
 nce constantly
 No evil scheme by Ursula
 or anythíng, just bad luck
 though, so he makes h
 The Little Mermaid is heartbroken and awaits However, she's unable kill the prince sleeping
 seafoamification, but her sisters bring her a with his new wife and throws herself off the
 Inife that the Sea Witch has giv oeriship as she dissolves into foam
 If she kills the prince and let his blood dri
 on her feet, she'll become a mermaid again
 WHAT IS SHE
 TRYING TO SAY?
 WHY DOES EVERYONE SEEM
 TO BE O8SESSED WITH
 GRUNT
 KNIVES AND FEET?!
 Ewl
 the chance to do good deeds for
 for 300 years so she can rise up into
 the Kingdom of God
 enAlso, it's unclear whether or not
 Sebastian had a Jamaican accent.
 JUST 299 YEARS,
 11 MONTHS AND
 14 DAYS LEFT
 NOW HAUD YER WHEESHT YA WEE BURD
 IFWA WA
 YA THINK ISNAE BELTER DOON
 HERE IN THE LOCH, BUT YER BEIN
 A WEE BAMPOT. TAKE IT FAE ME, LANNIN ON
 BAWHEID AN YA
 LOCH, BUT YER 8NA 8E A
 UP
 GONNAE NO DAE
 THAT. DONNAE DINGY
 US AND KEEP YER
 CHEBS DOON HERE.
 DOON HERE IS PURE BRAW
 HERE
 PATTER/ ASK THE KELPIE,
 PATTER.ASK THE KELPIE, IT'S A
 MESS
 GINGER AND DODGY
 LAELPE IT'S A
 MINGIN PLACE, EXCEPT
 FOR AULD REEKIE
 MAYBE
 DONNAE EVEN HAV
 BREEKS YA GOON
 Crabs are found all over the world
 so for all we know he could be Scottish
 C3WOODENPLANKSTUDIOS.COM LE)WOODENPLANKSTUDIOS @WOODENPLANKST DPATREON.COM/WOODENPLANKSTUDIOS
omg-images:

Disney Uncensored - The Little Mermaid

omg-images: Disney Uncensored - The Little Mermaid

Bad, Bad Jokes, and Books: give-me-all-the-hetalia-boys:snowcoveredsunflower:deadmomjokes:barfingunicorn:823-hauntingconman:deaditeslayer: aranea-mcchattysylph: scrotumcoat: capnskull: the drum is filled with hot steam and then sprayed with cold water. the pressure on the outside of the drum is far more than inside. the pressures try to maintain and find balance taking the drum as a casualty. “Oh FUCK that’s cold!” when youre in the shower and someone flushes the toilet My Chemistry teacher did this the first day of class with a coke can, a hotplate, and a basin of water. I have never forgotten the scientific principles behind it, and here’s why. There were 20-something of us in the classroom, all dying of sleep deprivation since it was the first day back to school, first class of the day. Mr. Moses was that teacher you weren’t sure how to deal with. I mean, the man’s name was Noah Eugene Moses, for starters. He drove a Harley to school, but also drove the bus. He had giant cokebottle glasses and a doofy mustache with shaggy ex-Beatles hair. He always wore suspenders and a grease-stained t-shirt because he had a potbelly and taught the shop/electrical classes. He wasn’t even really lecturing; he was throwing in tidbits of the syllabus in the midst of bad jokes and fun stories. We were all a bit nervous, because none of us had taken a class from him before, but his tests were legendary—nobody had ever made it out with an A (until I did, but that’s another story for another time and involves a really awesome bet and some hair cutting scissors). Well, as we were fighting to stay awake, and attempting to take notes of whatever he was talking about, he was pacing around the room from here to there, straightening things and moving stuff. He was very scatterbrained, and it was easy to tell from how he kept forgetting where he put his coke. Turns out, that was just a ruse. He had the can filled with just a tiny bit of water, and the things he was moving around were stacks of papers and books hiding the hot plate and water basin. So he set his coke can down onto the hot plate, continued talking loudly enough so we wouldn’t hear the water boiling, and then knocked it over really fast into the water basin. BANG!!!!!!!! Three girls fell out of their seats, one dude swore so violently I’m pretty sure the devil himself cringed, everyone at least jumped and screamed, and I actually broke my pen in half. See, with rapid decompression comes a vacuum, and with a vacuum comes a rushing of air that creates a massive sound. Think “thunder”. That’s the same principle behind it. His little tiny coke can of steam into a bucket of ice water, and we had a bang so loud the band teacher came in from across the hall to see “what was exploding today.” To which Mr. Moses responded, “Nothing, it imploded. Explosions are chapter 3.” And that’s when I knew it was going to be the best class ever. Read the whole thing
Bad, Bad Jokes, and Books: give-me-all-the-hetalia-boys:snowcoveredsunflower:deadmomjokes:barfingunicorn:823-hauntingconman:deaditeslayer:
aranea-mcchattysylph:

scrotumcoat:

capnskull:

the drum is filled with hot steam and then sprayed with cold water. the pressure on the outside of the drum is far more than inside. the pressures try to maintain and find balance taking the drum as a casualty.




“Oh FUCK that’s cold!”

when youre in the shower and someone flushes the toilet

My Chemistry teacher did this the first day of class with a coke can, a hotplate, and a basin of water. I have never forgotten the scientific principles behind it, and here’s why.
There were 20-something of us in the classroom, all dying of sleep deprivation since it was the first day back to school, first class of the day. Mr. Moses was that teacher you weren’t sure how to deal with. I mean, the man’s name was Noah Eugene Moses, for starters. He drove a Harley to school, but also drove the bus. He had giant cokebottle glasses and a doofy mustache with shaggy ex-Beatles hair. He always wore suspenders and a grease-stained t-shirt because he had a potbelly and taught the shop/electrical classes. He wasn’t even really lecturing; he was throwing in tidbits of the syllabus in the midst of bad jokes and fun stories. We were all a bit nervous, because none of us had taken a class from him before, but his tests were legendary—nobody had ever made it out with an A (until I did, but that’s another story for another time and involves a really awesome bet and some hair cutting scissors).
Well, as we were fighting to stay awake, and attempting to take notes of whatever he was talking about, he was pacing around the room from here to there, straightening things and moving stuff. He was very scatterbrained, and it was easy to tell from how he kept forgetting where he put his coke. Turns out, that was just a ruse. He had the can filled with just a tiny bit of water, and the things he was moving around were stacks of papers and books hiding the hot plate and water basin. So he set his coke can down onto the hot plate, continued talking loudly enough so we wouldn’t hear the water boiling, and then knocked it over really fast into the water basin.
BANG!!!!!!!!
Three girls fell out of their seats, one dude swore so violently I’m pretty sure the devil himself cringed, everyone at least jumped and screamed, and I actually broke my pen in half.
See, with rapid decompression comes a vacuum, and with a vacuum comes a rushing of air that creates a massive sound. Think “thunder”. That’s the same principle behind it. His little tiny coke can of steam into a bucket of ice water, and we had a bang so loud the band teacher came in from across the hall to see “what was exploding today.” To which Mr. Moses responded, “Nothing, it imploded. Explosions are chapter 3.”
And that’s when I knew it was going to be the best class ever.




Read the whole thing

give-me-all-the-hetalia-boys:snowcoveredsunflower:deadmomjokes:barfingunicorn:823-hauntingconman:deaditeslayer: aranea-mcchattysylph: scrot...

Beautiful, Fucking, and Herpes: 000AT&T 11:11 PM 22% , iMessage Today 10:01 AM Miss talking to you :) Really sorry - new phone. Who's this? The one.. The only.. drumroll* drumroll solo* santana plays electric guitar* Adam! Today 5:05 PM I miss u too What's been on your mind/ going on in your life:) Today 8:29 PM I've just been banging a bunch of guys and living life LOL straight up. Just enjoying these free years while you can huh But I got herpes so it hasn't been that great Oh shit that is a bummer. I'd be pissed Have you gone to the doc? I went to the veterinarian they gave me some pills they give to horses You're fucking with me hahaha Did you really? Yeah my insurance wouldn't let me go to my real doc Oh damn Does it still work the same The insurance or the pills? The pills Yeah I just them In with my Oates when I eat I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like Ok give me a sec I'm going to go beat up the person that gave you herpes real quick Also those insurance peeps while I'm at it Aw thanks ur such a sweetie. We hooking up later or what? Lol you are fucking with me I'm serious. I'm at home You know I find you beautiful But it wouldn't be smart for me to be having sex with really anybody right now I'm sorry Just came to see what you were up to in life :) Adam you've chosen wisely. You've got the wrong number dawg. And even though I don't know you (nor do the 12 people huddled around this conversation) we are all very proud you didn't want to bang the chick with herpes. Enjoy your life I can't be mad at this. This is great Message Lonely guy get trolled after he tried texting his ex
Beautiful, Fucking, and Herpes: 000AT&T
 11:11 PM
 22%
 ,
 iMessage
 Today 10:01 AM
 Miss talking to you :)
 Really sorry - new phone. Who's
 this?
 The one..
 The only..
 drumroll*
 drumroll solo*
 santana plays electric guitar*
 Adam!
 Today 5:05 PM
 I miss u too
 What's been on your mind/ going on
 in your life:)
 Today 8:29 PM
 I've just been banging a bunch of
 guys and living life
 LOL straight up.
 Just enjoying these free years while
 you can huh
 But I got herpes so it hasn't been
 that great
 Oh shit that is a bummer. I'd be
 pissed
 Have you gone to the doc?
 I went to the veterinarian they gave
 me some pills they give to horses
 You're fucking with me hahaha
 Did you really?
 Yeah my insurance wouldn't let me
 go to my real doc
 Oh damn
 Does it still work the same
 The insurance or the pills?
 The pills
 Yeah I just them In with my Oates
 when I eat
 I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like
 Ok give me a sec I'm going to go
 beat up the person that gave you
 herpes real quick
 Also those insurance peeps while
 I'm at it
 Aw thanks ur such a sweetie. We
 hooking up later or what?
 Lol you are fucking with me
 I'm serious. I'm at home
 You know I find you beautiful
 But it wouldn't be smart for me to
 be having sex with really anybody
 right now
 I'm sorry
 Just came to see what you were up
 to in life :)
 Adam you've chosen wisely. You've
 got the wrong number dawg. And
 even though I don't know you (nor
 do the 12 people huddled around
 this conversation) we are all very
 proud you didn't want to bang the
 chick with herpes. Enjoy your life
 I can't be mad at this. This is great
 Message
Lonely guy get trolled after he tried texting his ex

Lonely guy get trolled after he tried texting his ex

Bad, Kelis, and Life: it, helping her disovery lay a foundation for his fledgling career The respected and in- demand artst discovered Carter singing for money on the streets of Ne York Citys Greenwich Village and signed him, then took him to the studio to work with producers Timbaland, Nokio, Bink Dog, the Flavahood team, and Gerald issac. In the studio herself work ing on her own project, Missy plans an album release later this year...Back with their master- piece, female supergroup En Vogue has a new album, Masterpiece Theatre, a 13-song work which saw them joining forces once again with the producing duo, Denzil Foster and Thomas McElroy, who helped put them on the map. Still appreciated by fans for the sophistication and glamour they brought back to female R&8 groups, En Vogue is the quintessential girl group. one of the foundations upon which rhythm 'n blues was built. WHO'S NOT showing than whats been reflected by the sales of her second album, Fear Of Flying. Not that she doein't have fans, but her skills are lacking and need serious work..Out of the gate with a bang, newcomer Kelis attracted attention with her anthemic first single, but the rest of her albun, Kleidoscope, failed to measure up. Shes gt a nice marketable look and sound. however, so there's lots to salvage for the next time around..We'll make it short and sweet. What happened to Keisha, Kima, and Pam? Once the strongest group on the Bad Boy Entertainment's roster, these three ladies exuded, street atti tude mixed with smoldering urban sex appeal, Dust 'em off, and bring 'em on back, we say! MARY J. BLIGE DA BRAT 14 WORD UP! BYJAN PETERS WHO'S HOT rhaps more than any other female rapper, Lil Kim has come to define today's hip-hop generation brash, irreverent, outspoken, vulnerable, and real. Hot since Hard Core, L Kim has upped the ante on her populatity by making strategik career moves which have kept her in demand and in the publics eye through a succession of image-making makeovers and bicoastal appearances in person and on wax. Kim's cur rent album, The Notorious K,LM is the first flight of the Queen Bee without the Notorious 8.1.G, a reality which forced her to look within herself for direction. Kim's expansion into other media, film, print ads, and who knows what else is to corme, has brought her clos er to the kind of notoriety that she says she's after, How hot is Lil Kim? Ask your mom if she knows who Lil Kim is. Chances are she will. Lir Kim's friend Mary J. Blige is also another artist whos come into her own. With her most recent album, Mary, already certitied platinum, Mary has retained her superstar status building yeary on her every woman appeal. Currently expanding her horizons as an actress and a model spokesperson for MAC cosmetics Viva Glam lI lipsticks, along with her girl, Lil Kim, Mary's longevity and popularity seems assured...New on the xene, female emcee Rah Digga classifies herself as a "serious" rapper. Not that she cant get all dolied up, but she doesn't want what's on the surface to interfere with the substance underneath. Nevertheless, with the releave of her debut album, Dirty Harriet, Rah Digga immediately established a fan base composed of all kinds of rap fans. Why? Because shes got skilk. A rapper who believes in earning her accolades, Rah Digga s the kind of everyday female to whom fans can relate. If anything, it's her dream that one day female rappers can be taken seriously without relying on the externals to help get them over. Fans cer- tainly have responded to her approach...Fashioned in the same outspoken mold as Lil Kim, Eve came onto the scene and immediately regis tered as a real-life, around-the-way sista whose rap skills secured for her a place in the hip-hop hierarchy. Touring with labelmates from the Ruff Ryders crew, Eve never fails to amaze fans who get impressed with her street cool, flavorful flow, For her, the heat stays on and on...Branded as a hip hop tomboy, Da Brat made her appearance as a rough neck femme whose image lately softened under hot lights for sexy shots as a calen dar queen. for women whe indulge the feminine and masculine sides of their gender, Da Brat was a long awaited role model whose duality they appreci- ated in addition to her rhyme skills. Currently rolling strong from the success of her third album Unrestricted, Da Brat has the distinction of being the first solo female rapper to go platinum. Since then, shes built on her fan base and remained in the spotlight while others faded away...Even when Missy Elliott inot on the charts, better believe she's always got something going on. In this case, it's the debut album release from Torrey Carter, the first male artist from Missy's label imprint, Gold Mine Records. Missy does a turn on ERNEST PANCCIOU MYA LIL'KIM EN VOGUE EYE WORD UP! 13
Bad, Kelis, and Life: it, helping her disovery lay a foundation for his fledgling career The respected and in-
 demand artst discovered Carter singing for money on the streets of Ne York Citys
 Greenwich Village and signed him, then took him to the studio to work with producers
 Timbaland, Nokio, Bink Dog, the Flavahood team, and Gerald issac. In the studio herself work
 ing on her own project, Missy plans an album release later this year...Back with their master-
 piece, female supergroup En Vogue has a new album, Masterpiece Theatre, a 13-song work
 which saw them joining forces once again with the producing duo, Denzil Foster and Thomas
 McElroy, who helped put them on the map. Still appreciated by fans for the sophistication and
 glamour they brought back to female R&8 groups, En Vogue is the quintessential girl group.
 one of the foundations upon which rhythm 'n blues was built.
 WHO'S NOT
 showing than whats been reflected by the sales of her second album, Fear Of Flying. Not
 that she doein't have fans, but her skills are lacking and need serious work..Out of the gate
 with a bang, newcomer Kelis attracted attention with her anthemic first single, but the rest of
 her albun, Kleidoscope, failed to measure up. Shes gt a nice marketable look and sound.
 however, so there's lots to salvage for the next time around..We'll
 make it short and sweet. What happened to Keisha, Kima, and
 Pam? Once the strongest group on the Bad Boy
 Entertainment's roster, these three ladies exuded, street atti
 tude mixed with smoldering urban sex appeal, Dust 'em off, and
 bring 'em on back, we say!
 MARY J. BLIGE
 DA BRAT
 14 WORD UP!

 BYJAN PETERS
 WHO'S HOT
 rhaps more than any other female rapper, Lil Kim
 has come to define today's hip-hop generation
 brash, irreverent, outspoken, vulnerable, and real. Hot
 since Hard Core, L Kim has upped the ante on her
 populatity by making strategik career moves which
 have kept her in demand and in the publics eye
 through a succession of image-making makeovers and
 bicoastal appearances in person and on wax. Kim's cur
 rent album, The Notorious K,LM is the first flight of
 the Queen Bee without the Notorious 8.1.G, a reality
 which forced her to look within herself for direction.
 Kim's expansion into other media, film, print ads, and
 who knows what else is to corme, has brought her clos
 er to the kind of notoriety that she says she's after, How
 hot is Lil Kim? Ask your mom if she knows who Lil Kim
 is. Chances are she will. Lir Kim's friend Mary J. Blige is
 also another artist whos come into her own. With her
 most recent album, Mary, already certitied platinum,
 Mary has retained her superstar status building yeary
 on her every woman appeal. Currently expanding her
 horizons as an actress and a model spokesperson for
 MAC cosmetics Viva Glam lI lipsticks, along with her
 girl, Lil Kim, Mary's longevity and popularity seems
 assured...New on the xene, female emcee Rah Digga
 classifies herself as a "serious" rapper. Not that she
 cant get all dolied up, but she doesn't want what's on
 the surface to interfere with the substance underneath.
 Nevertheless, with the releave of her debut album,
 Dirty Harriet, Rah Digga immediately established a fan
 base composed of all kinds of rap fans. Why? Because
 shes got skilk. A rapper who believes in earning her
 accolades, Rah Digga s the kind of everyday female to
 whom fans can relate. If anything, it's her dream that
 one day female rappers can be taken seriously without
 relying on the externals to help get them over. Fans cer-
 tainly have responded to her approach...Fashioned
 in the same outspoken mold as Lil Kim, Eve
 came onto the scene and immediately regis
 tered as a real-life, around-the-way sista
 whose rap skills secured for her a place
 in the hip-hop hierarchy. Touring with
 labelmates from the Ruff Ryders
 crew, Eve never fails to amaze fans
 who get impressed with her
 street cool, flavorful flow, For
 her, the heat stays on and
 on...Branded as a hip hop
 tomboy, Da Brat made her
 appearance as a rough
 neck femme whose image
 lately softened under hot
 lights for sexy shots as a calen
 dar queen. for women whe
 indulge the feminine and masculine
 sides of their gender, Da Brat was a long
 awaited role model whose duality they appreci-
 ated in addition to her rhyme skills. Currently rolling
 strong from the success of her third album
 Unrestricted, Da Brat has the distinction of being
 the first solo female rapper to go platinum. Since
 then, shes built on her fan base and remained in
 the spotlight while others faded away...Even
 when Missy Elliott inot on the charts, better
 believe she's always got something going on. In
 this case, it's the debut album release from Torrey
 Carter, the first male artist from Missy's label
 imprint, Gold Mine Records. Missy does a turn on
 ERNEST PANCCIOU
 MYA

 LIL'KIM
 EN VOGUE
 EYE
 WORD UP! 13