Per
Per

Per

E Mail
E Mail

E Mail

While
While

While

Testes
Testes

Testes

Professionalism
Professionalism

Professionalism

Last
Last

Last

Not
Not

Not

Its A
Its A

Its A

And
And

And

Sarcasmism
Sarcasmism

Sarcasmism

🔥 | Latest

as per: As per my last email…
as per: As per my last email…

As per my last email…

as per: As per my last email… by the-brown-memer MORE MEMES
as per: As per my last email… by the-brown-memer
MORE MEMES

As per my last email… by the-brown-memer MORE MEMES

as per: earthsong9405: All done with Urbosa’s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didn’t change too much but I gave her a slightly different hairstyle, some tusks (as is natural for Gerudo in my headcanon), and a brand new outfit! She has such lovely colors to work with, I love her so much ;-;But I’m sure ya don’t wanna hear me babble about how enjoyable her design is. So, let’s go straight into the headcanon! <:————————--Urbosa is the current chief of the Gerudo and serves as the acting Champion for them as well. As a Champion in this timeline, she holds a key component in gaining access to Old Hyrule-”Champion” in this timeline doesn’t fully hold the same function as it once did in BotW. Instead of being chosen to pilot the Divine Beasts, a Champion are a handful of chosen warriors that serve as Hyrule’s best line of defense against any threat. Despite every group of peoples having their own form of governing, culture, and way of life, all of them are still united under the banner of Hyrule, and the Champions could be the physical representation of this tight alliance. A Champion may not necessarily have a lot of political power by themselves but what they represent and what they stand for still puts them in a high position in social status and therefore their word often holds significant weight. As not only the chief of Gerudo but also their Champion, Urbosa is in a position of having more power than what would typically be seen for a Chief. Thankfully though, she doesn’t abuse it and leads her people well: there’s a reason she’s so well respected and loved among not only the Gerudo, but across Hyrule as well.-As one of the original Champions, Urbosa retains many of her memories from her past life, including what ultimately led to her death-I’ve always liked the idea of Urbosa being a motherly figure to just about anyone she meets, but that also includes being an actual mother! Her kid in this headcanon is Riju <:-While Urbosa isn’t actually related to Ganondorf, he refers to her as his “aunt”. Of all the Gerudo in his life, Urbosa was a consistent presence, often visiting him and his parents at their secluded home in the middle of Korok Forest. She’d bring stories of adventure and gifts and even helped train him to be a skilled warrior, but as much as she loves the boy her visits held an alternative motive.-As a whole, no one really knows of Ganondorf’s past as being the vessel for the Demon King, but if anyone would have any idea about it it’d certainly be the Sheikah and the Gerudo. As per tradition in their culture, a newborn Gerudo must be brought forth to a shaman for examination to ensure their health and to fully proclaim their citizenship as a new member of the tribe. When Ganondorf was examined, the first thing the shaman noticed was the peculiar mark upon his chest: a birthmark in the shape of the wound that struck Demise down all those thousands of years ago. In seeing the mark the shaman took the baby away from his mother and brought it to the council and Urbosa to discuss what to do with it.The Gerudo are intimately familiar with the history surrounding the Demon King and how he stole one of their own, so the mark was very telling of what the child once was. And given the long stretch of peace Hyrule was experiencing it understandably buzzed some fear among the elder council. Many were afraid his birth meant an end to that peace, that the Demon King had somehow reincarnated once more and meant to bring hell back to Hyrule.So in response to all of this, the elders argued amongst each other about a solution. Many ruled the boy too dangerous to allow him to grow older and demanded he be… dealt with. Others deemed that too cruel, even for a damned child, and suggested they simply leave him somewhere far away: let nature decide if he lives or dies. But, as chief and Gerudo Champion of Hyrule, it ultimately came down to Urbosa’s choice. She held the babe her council hissed demon, stared at the birthmark that marked him as a vessel, heard the pleading sobs of the boy’s mother over the whispers of “we’ll make it quick, but we mustn’t let him live”, “he is dangerous, he will bring doom to us all” “end it now while he is weak”.Stared at the supposed demon child, who simply yawned in her grasp and blinked up at her with innocent, yellow eyes. She met the Demon King once: she had stared into that monster’s eyes while she fought it to her death in her past lifetime. She knows soulless eyes when she sees them… and this baby didn’t have those eyes.So Urbosa made her decision: the boy will not die. It was largely met with disbelief and anger: you will doom us all! they said. Despite Urbosa staying firm in her decision, it took her days of arguing with the council and the aid of a Sheikah Seer (who examined the child themselves and confirmed that he didn’t house the Demon King) to finally reach a compromise: the boy will live, but he can’t live among the Gerudo. He had to live with his mother in exile, and his growth had to be monitored as a precaution. The monitoring came in the form of Urbosa’s frequent visits.-Urbosa is close friends with Zelda’s parents and is also something of an “aunt” figure to Zelda as well; Zelda absolutely adores Urbosa and even sees her as more of a secondary mother figure than anything.————————————Aaaaaaaaand that’s all I have for Urbosa for now! If I think of anything else I’ll be sure to add more, and of course if ya have questions you’re more than free to ask them. <: Otherwise I hope you enjoy! ^.^
as per: earthsong9405:

All done with Urbosa’s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didn’t change too much but I gave her a slightly different hairstyle, some tusks (as is natural for Gerudo in my headcanon), and a brand new outfit! She has such lovely colors to work with, I love her so much ;-;But I’m sure ya don’t wanna hear me babble about how enjoyable her design is. So, let’s go straight into the headcanon! <:————————--Urbosa is the current chief of the Gerudo and serves as the acting Champion for them as well. As a Champion in this timeline, she holds a key component in gaining access to Old Hyrule-”Champion” in this timeline doesn’t fully hold the same function as it once did in BotW. Instead of being chosen to pilot the Divine Beasts, a Champion are a handful of chosen warriors that serve as Hyrule’s best line of defense against any threat. Despite every group of peoples having their own form of governing, culture, and way of life, all of them are still united under the banner of Hyrule, and the Champions could be the physical representation of this tight alliance. A Champion may not necessarily have a lot of political power by themselves but what they represent and what they stand for still puts them in a high position in social status and therefore their word often holds significant weight. As not only the chief of Gerudo but also their Champion, Urbosa is in a position of having more power than what would typically be seen for a Chief. Thankfully though, she doesn’t abuse it and leads her people well: there’s a reason she’s so well respected and loved among not only the Gerudo, but across Hyrule as well.-As one of the original Champions, Urbosa retains many of her memories from her past life, including what ultimately led to her death-I’ve always liked the idea of Urbosa being a motherly figure to just about anyone she meets, but that also includes being an actual mother! Her kid in this headcanon is Riju <:-While Urbosa isn’t actually related to Ganondorf, he refers to her as his “aunt”. Of all the Gerudo in his life, Urbosa was a consistent presence, often visiting him and his parents at their secluded home in the middle of Korok Forest. She’d bring stories of adventure and gifts and even helped train him to be a skilled warrior, but as much as she loves the boy her visits held an alternative motive.-As a whole, no one really knows of Ganondorf’s past as being the vessel for the Demon King, but if anyone would have any idea about it it’d certainly be the Sheikah and the Gerudo. As per tradition in their culture, a newborn Gerudo must be brought forth to a shaman for examination to ensure their health and to fully proclaim their citizenship as a new member of the tribe. When Ganondorf was examined, the first thing the shaman noticed was the peculiar mark upon his chest: a birthmark in the shape of the wound that struck Demise down all those thousands of years ago. In seeing the mark the shaman took the baby away from his mother and brought it to the council and Urbosa to discuss what to do with it.The Gerudo are intimately familiar with the history surrounding the Demon King and how he stole one of their own, so the mark was very telling of what the child once was. And given the long stretch of peace Hyrule was experiencing it understandably buzzed some fear among the elder council. Many were afraid his birth meant an end to that peace, that the Demon King had somehow reincarnated once more and meant to bring hell back to Hyrule.So in response to all of this, the elders argued amongst each other about a solution. Many ruled the boy too dangerous to allow him to grow older and demanded he be… dealt with. Others deemed that too cruel, even for a damned child, and suggested they simply leave him somewhere far away: let nature decide if he lives or dies. But, as chief and Gerudo Champion of Hyrule, it ultimately came down to Urbosa’s choice. She held the babe her council hissed demon, stared at the birthmark that marked him as a vessel, heard the pleading sobs of the boy’s mother over the whispers of “we’ll make it quick, but we mustn’t let him live”, “he is dangerous, he will bring doom to us all” “end it now while he is weak”.Stared at the supposed demon child, who simply yawned in her grasp and blinked up at her with innocent, yellow eyes. She met the Demon King once: she had stared into that monster’s eyes while she fought it to her death in her past lifetime. She knows soulless eyes when she sees them… and this baby didn’t have those eyes.So Urbosa made her decision: the boy will not die. It was largely met with disbelief and anger: you will doom us all! they said. Despite Urbosa staying firm in her decision, it took her days of arguing with the council and the aid of a Sheikah Seer (who examined the child themselves and confirmed that he didn’t house the Demon King) to finally reach a compromise: the boy will live, but he can’t live among the Gerudo. He had to live with his mother in exile, and his growth had to be monitored as a precaution. The monitoring came in the form of Urbosa’s frequent visits.-Urbosa is close friends with Zelda’s parents and is also something of an “aunt” figure to Zelda as well; Zelda absolutely adores Urbosa and even sees her as more of a secondary mother figure than anything.————————————Aaaaaaaaand that’s all I have for Urbosa for now! If I think of anything else I’ll be sure to add more, and of course if ya have questions you’re more than free to ask them. <: Otherwise I hope you enjoy! ^.^

earthsong9405: All done with Urbosa’s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didn’t change too...

as per: This could save a mans life... pregnant D not pregnant D CD This story posted by a guy on Reddit really amazed me. Basically he was in his bathroom one day and found his ex girlfriends pregnancy test kit. For a bit of a laugh he decided to pee on it. To his utter shock and surprise, the results came up with 2 lines as per the image below. This as we all know basically means he is pregnant right? Well obviously he is not pregnant but he thought it was really funny anyway. He took to Reddit where he posted the picture. In the comments someone said “if this is true, you should check yourself for testicular cancer" and that he needed to get to his GP as soon as possible. It was lucky this chain of events happened as when his GP checked him over, it turned out that he had testicular cancer. He was fortunate enough to catch it in the early stages. So what is going on here? Well the pregnancy test is actually looking for something called Human chorionic gonadotropin HCG . This is produced in the placenta of a woman and is thus a good test of pregnancy. It turns out that HCG is also produced by men who suffer from testicular cancer. captive-wheatley: makingplansdrawingmaps: cupcakeforger: timetobe-me: intellectualbadarse: HOLY SHIT SIGNAL BOOST SIGNAL BOOST THIS REDDIT FOR GOOD! This is actually true and could make a difference Holy shit.
as per: This could save a mans life...
 pregnant D
 not pregnant D
 CD
 This story posted by a guy on Reddit really amazed me.
 Basically he was in his bathroom one day and found his
 ex girlfriends pregnancy test kit. For a bit of a laugh he
 decided to pee on it. To his utter shock and surprise, the
 results came up with 2 lines as per the image below.
 This as we all know basically means he is pregnant
 right? Well obviously he is not pregnant but he thought it
 was really funny anyway. He took to Reddit where he
 posted the picture. In the comments someone said “if
 this is true, you should check yourself for testicular
 cancer" and that he needed to get to his GP as soon as
 possible. It was lucky this chain of events happened as
 when his GP checked him over, it turned out that he had
 testicular cancer. He was fortunate enough to catch it in
 the early stages. So what is going on here? Well the
 pregnancy test is actually looking for something called
 Human chorionic gonadotropin HCG . This is produced in
 the placenta of a woman and is thus a good test of
 pregnancy. It turns out that HCG is also produced by men
 who suffer from testicular cancer.
captive-wheatley:

makingplansdrawingmaps:

cupcakeforger:

timetobe-me:

intellectualbadarse:

HOLY SHIT SIGNAL BOOST

SIGNAL BOOST THIS

REDDIT FOR GOOD!

This is actually true and could make a difference

Holy shit.

captive-wheatley: makingplansdrawingmaps: cupcakeforger: timetobe-me: intellectualbadarse: HOLY SHIT SIGNAL BOOST SIGNAL BOOST THIS...

as per: talesfromyourlocalcashier: victorian-sexstache: mizuaoi: musicalhell: madhattey: rusticbabe: spiderman-against-pedos: witchcryptid: alittlebitpessimistic: azalea-in-time: ziamlevinestylinson: 2ollux-captor-ii2-my-dance2tor: useless-worthless-nobody: azalea-in-time: When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY. You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’. These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST. Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall. YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop. It’s not even October but I’m still spreading this SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!! Now Yeah…your director may want to consider reblocking We don’t have a director? Or blocking??? It’s a haunted house bro, not a play Reblogging for relevance- I work at a Haunted House every October, and have been for the past few years. Our house in particular is staffed by Volunteer workers who are either earning credits for Graduation, or people who know the Family that owns the haunted attraction. In our City, we’re one of two Haunted Houses, so while we open in late September, we tend to get incredibly busy during the month of October and often work from 6pm until 2, 3am on weekends.  We do not get paid to help out. Due to our location, we get a lot of drunk guys coming through, and a lot of ‘funny’ teenagers. In my several years working there, I’ve seen Actors get grabbed and thrown, stomped on, kicked, bitten, everything. A lot of the Actors at this attraction are young teenagers, Middle and Secondary School students, so this kind of abuse is terrifying and potentially emotionally scarring. There’s a position half-way through the house we call ‘Psych Ward’, and it’s essentially a jump scare. The scare is a corner-room, boxed in with walls and broken windows, that the Actor pops out of and shouts and taunts the people going through. October, 2012, a couple were going through the Psych Ward corner and the scare went off as per usual. The girlfriend of this couple got very startled but laughed it off and continued on. The boyfriend, however, back-tracked and went up to the broken window and punched the Actor in the face for scaring his girlfriend. The Actor, who I’m going to call Tracy, had a black eye for a good two weeks solid and the couple had to be escorted out of the house and were banned from the property. Ever since we’ve ruled that Veteran Actors (someone who’s been there for 3+ years) are the only ones allowed in this particular Scaring Spot. He paid to get scared and then got violent when we delivered. There are so many stories I can tell of ignorant customers banging back on scares and injuring the Actors inside, grabbing props from the actors and hurting them with it, destroying props because they thought it would be ‘funny’.  I just want to raise awareness that the ACTORS ARE STILL PEOPLE. We’re instructed to get the best kind of scare out of you, sometimes with no pay at all (like this particular attraction), so please respect our work. We wouldn’t come to your job, mock you, and push you around trying to be ‘funny’. Don’t come to our job and do that to us! I literally cannot believe people are angry over this post saying “don’t fucking beat up actors” I work at a haunted hayride and a guy tried to dropkick me in the chest and knee me in the face because he thought it was funny. I got in trouble for breaking character to tell him to fucking stop. Ive been hit so many times this season it has left cuts and bruises. Back in 2015 I was fucking choked and dragged behind a wagon because a lady was drunk and her son had to pry her hands off me because IM NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOU OR FIGHT BACK. Most recently, a customer groped my breasts and twisted my fucking nipples. Apparently, she did it to AT LEAST twenty other actors. THAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT YOU ASSHOLES. ITS NOT OKAY. Most recently a customer fucking kicked me and sent me to the goddamned hospital. WHEN YOU GO TO A HAUNTED HAYRIDE / HAUNTED HOUSE, REMEMBER YOU LITERALLY PAID US TO SCARE YOU. THE ACTORS ARE REAL PEOPLE. DO NOT FUCKING HIT US. Why the fuck would you even do this holy shit Hey guys i know this is out of theme but that comment from @witchcryptid was me and my old url. I plan on working this job again this year if at all possible, so here’s an added psa: If your family or friend(s) force you into a haunting, be upfront as best you can and tell actors as they come up “please do not scare me i am too anxious / scared” and 9.99/10 times we will listen and leave you alone. just communicate with us even though we most often cannot communicate back. We may be playing monsters, but we are NOT monsters. Also, please remember to keep your hands off of us during your haunting, and also please try to step in or speak up if you see people trying to touch us, assault us, or talking about planning to touch or hurt a staff member. We cannot do anything and will most likely get in legal trouble for touching you in defense. Thank you and have a spooky fall 🌻🍁🍂🍃 I…I feel really upset that this has to be a reminder ._. I mean they should know you’re…justacting. jesus christ… I don’t even do haunted houses (I’m one of those aforementioned anxious people) but boosting the signal because this is seriously not cool. Hey guys it’s that time!! You paid for a ticket which means you consented to be scared! As an ex haunt monster please for fucks sake if you KNOW your reflex is to strike when scared DO NOT GO TO THESE. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE NO ONE GOES TO DISNEYLAND AND PUNCHES DONALD DUCK WHY WOULD YOU DO THE SAME TO HAUNTED HOUSE WORKERS?!?!?!?! Please don’t attack workers for doing their jobs.
as per: talesfromyourlocalcashier:
victorian-sexstache:


mizuaoi:

musicalhell:

madhattey:

rusticbabe:

spiderman-against-pedos:

witchcryptid:

alittlebitpessimistic:

azalea-in-time:

ziamlevinestylinson:

2ollux-captor-ii2-my-dance2tor:

useless-worthless-nobody:

azalea-in-time:

When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.
You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.
These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.
Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.
YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO
I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.

It’s not even October but I’m still spreading this

SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!! Now

Yeah…your director may want to consider reblocking

We don’t have a director? Or blocking??? It’s a haunted house bro, not a play

Reblogging for relevance-
I work at a Haunted House every October, and have been for the past few years. Our house in particular is staffed by Volunteer workers who are either earning credits for Graduation, or people who know the Family that owns the haunted attraction. In our City, we’re one of two Haunted Houses, so while we open in late September, we tend to get incredibly busy during the month of October and often work from 6pm until 2, 3am on weekends. 
We do not get paid to help out. Due to our location, we get a lot of drunk guys coming through, and a lot of ‘funny’ teenagers. In my several years working there, I’ve seen Actors get grabbed and thrown, stomped on, kicked, bitten, everything. A lot of the Actors at this attraction are young teenagers, Middle and Secondary School students, so this kind of abuse is terrifying and potentially emotionally scarring.
There’s a position half-way through the house we call ‘Psych Ward’, and it’s essentially a jump scare. The scare is a corner-room, boxed in with walls and broken windows, that the Actor pops out of and shouts and taunts the people going through. October, 2012, a couple were going through the Psych Ward corner and the scare went off as per usual. The girlfriend of this couple got very startled but laughed it off and continued on. The boyfriend, however, back-tracked and went up to the broken window and punched the Actor in the face for scaring his girlfriend. The Actor, who I’m going to call Tracy, had a black eye for a good two weeks solid and the couple had to be escorted out of the house and were banned from the property. Ever since we’ve ruled that Veteran Actors (someone who’s been there for 3+ years) are the only ones allowed in this particular Scaring Spot.
He paid to get scared and then got violent when we delivered.
There are so many stories I can tell of ignorant customers banging back on scares and injuring the Actors inside, grabbing props from the actors and hurting them with it, destroying props because they thought it would be ‘funny’. 
I just want to raise awareness that the ACTORS ARE STILL PEOPLE. We’re instructed to get the best kind of scare out of you, sometimes with no pay at all (like this particular attraction), so please respect our work.
We wouldn’t come to your job, mock you, and push you around trying to be ‘funny’. Don’t come to our job and do that to us!

I literally cannot believe people are angry over this post saying “don’t fucking beat up actors”

I work at a haunted hayride and a guy tried to dropkick me in the chest and knee me in the face because he thought it was funny. 

I got in trouble for breaking character to tell him to fucking stop. 

Ive been hit so many times this season it has left cuts and bruises.  Back in 2015 I was fucking choked and dragged behind a wagon because a lady was drunk and her son had to pry her hands off me because IM NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOU OR FIGHT BACK. 

Most recently, a customer groped my breasts and twisted my fucking nipples.  Apparently, she did it to AT LEAST twenty other actors. 
THAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT YOU ASSHOLES.  ITS NOT OKAY. 

Most recently a customer fucking kicked me and sent me to the goddamned hospital.  

WHEN YOU GO TO A HAUNTED HAYRIDE / HAUNTED HOUSE, REMEMBER YOU LITERALLY PAID US TO SCARE YOU.  
THE ACTORS ARE REAL PEOPLE.
DO NOT FUCKING HIT US.


Why the fuck would you even do this holy shit 


Hey guys i know this is out of theme but that comment from @witchcryptid was me and my old url.  I plan on working this job again this year if at all possible, so here’s an added psa:
If your family or friend(s) force you into a haunting, be upfront as best you can and tell actors as they come up “please do not scare me i am too anxious / scared” and 9.99/10 times we will listen and leave you alone.  just communicate with us even though we most often cannot communicate back.  
We may be playing monsters, but we are NOT monsters.
Also, please remember to keep your hands off of us during your haunting, and also please try to step in or speak up if you see people trying to touch us, assault us, or talking about planning to touch or hurt a staff member.  
We cannot do anything and will most likely get in legal trouble for touching you in defense.
Thank you and have a spooky fall 🌻🍁🍂🍃

I…I feel really upset that this has to be a reminder ._.
I mean they should know you’re…justacting.
jesus christ…

I don’t even do haunted houses (I’m one of those aforementioned anxious people) but boosting the signal because this is seriously not cool.


Hey guys it’s that time!!
You paid for a ticket which means you consented to be scared!
As an ex haunt monster please for fucks sake if you KNOW your reflex is to strike when scared DO NOT GO TO THESE. 

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE NO ONE GOES TO DISNEYLAND AND PUNCHES DONALD DUCK WHY WOULD YOU DO THE SAME TO HAUNTED HOUSE WORKERS?!?!?!?!


Please don’t attack workers for doing their jobs.

talesfromyourlocalcashier: victorian-sexstache: mizuaoi: musicalhell: madhattey: rusticbabe: spiderman-against-pedos: witchcryptid...

as per: My friend is always getting calls from telemarketers, this is what he does... Them: Hello sir, would you be wing to take a short stud y? Me: Absolutely! We here at Evermoor Consulting are always ready to provide opinion based data to our clients Them: Um... Ok? The survey just takes 5 minutes and when finished you are entered into a drawing to win a 3 day vacation to Cancun. Me: Our usual remuneration per our standard service agreement is all that is required However please be aware that our lowest billable period is one hour and this call will be billed for an hour of service even if only five minutes is used Them: No sir, this wil only take five minutes not an hour Me: I understand, however your firm will still be billed the minimum hour as per our services agreements. That comes to $225. How would you like to take care of this today? Do you have billing set up with us already? If so I just need the corporate code for your company Them: I don't have that... Me: That's alright sir. We can set this up on a company credit card for a small fee. Your new total wil be $257.98, sir. Go ahead and give me the credit card number sir Them: We aren't paying $257 for this! Me: Oh, you are absolutely right sir! We are talking after 6pm CDT so we are in "premium time". You total wil be $517.54. Thank you for reminding me! Them: What?! The law says we can call until 9pm. Me: Evermoon Consulting prides self on meeting our customer's needs 24 hours a day, but between 6pm and 6am is premium time.I am ready for that credit card number. Them: Look, I didn't call you, a computer did Me: Oh, I see Them: So can we just get to the survey? Me: Yes, but I will have to add our auto-dialer. With that fee your new total is $759.99. What are the first four digits of the card you would like us to use, please? Them: Hold on for my supervisor please. Me: Ok Supervisor: Hello sir, I understand there is a roblem? Me: No sir. Your total charges for premium time consulting, auto-dialer charge, supervisor respondent fee and credit card processing is $1163.67. Supervisor: For what?! Me: Consulting on your survey of course. What method of payment wil you be using today? click THE META PICTURE srsfunny:This Guy Is A Brilliant Genius
as per: My friend is always getting calls from
 telemarketers, this is what he does...
 Them: Hello sir, would you be wing to take a
 short stud y?
 Me: Absolutely! We here at Evermoor
 Consulting are always ready to provide opinion
 based data to our clients
 Them: Um... Ok? The survey just takes 5
 minutes and when finished you are entered
 into a drawing to win a 3 day vacation to
 Cancun.
 Me: Our usual remuneration per our standard
 service agreement is all that is required
 However please be aware that our lowest
 billable period is one hour and this call will be
 billed for an hour of service even if only five
 minutes is used
 Them: No sir, this wil only take five minutes
 not an hour
 Me: I understand, however your firm will still
 be billed the minimum hour as per our services
 agreements. That comes to $225. How would
 you like to take care of this today? Do you
 have billing set up with us already? If so I just
 need the corporate code for your company
 Them: I don't have that...
 Me: That's alright sir. We can set this up on a
 company credit card for a small fee. Your new
 total wil be $257.98, sir. Go ahead and give
 me the credit card number sir
 Them: We aren't paying $257 for this!
 Me: Oh, you are absolutely right sir! We are
 talking after 6pm CDT so we are in "premium
 time". You total wil be $517.54. Thank you for
 reminding me!
 Them: What?! The law says we can call until
 9pm.
 Me: Evermoon Consulting prides self on
 meeting our customer's needs 24 hours a day,
 but between 6pm and 6am is premium time.I
 am ready for that credit card number.
 Them: Look, I didn't call you, a computer did
 Me: Oh, I see
 Them: So can we just get to the survey?
 Me: Yes, but I will have to add our auto-dialer.
 With that fee your new total is $759.99. What
 are the first four digits of the card you would
 like us to use, please?
 Them: Hold on for my supervisor please.
 Me: Ok
 Supervisor: Hello sir, I understand there is a
 roblem?
 Me: No sir. Your total charges for premium
 time consulting, auto-dialer charge, supervisor
 respondent fee and credit card processing is
 $1163.67.
 Supervisor: For what?!
 Me: Consulting on your survey of course. What
 method of payment wil you be using today?
 click
 THE META PICTURE
srsfunny:This Guy Is A Brilliant Genius

srsfunny:This Guy Is A Brilliant Genius

as per: "As per our conversation this morning, Carol" makeuphall: People are sharing their favorite Petty Phrases To Use In Work Emails and they’re pretty great.        
as per: "As per our conversation this morning, Carol"
makeuphall:
People are sharing their favorite Petty Phrases To Use In Work Emails and they’re pretty great.
        

makeuphall: People are sharing their favorite Petty Phrases To Use In Work Emails and they’re pretty great.        

as per: "As per our conversation this morning, Carol" makeuphall: People are sharing their favorite Petty Phrases To Use In Work Emails and they’re pretty great.        
as per: "As per our conversation this morning, Carol"
makeuphall:
People are sharing their favorite Petty Phrases To Use In Work Emails and they’re pretty great.
        

makeuphall: People are sharing their favorite Petty Phrases To Use In Work Emails and they’re pretty great.