A
A

A

I Text You
I Text You

I Text You

Had
Had

Had

With
With

With

Mins
Mins

Mins

Write
Write

Write

Hey Mom
Hey Mom

Hey Mom

You Should
You Should

You Should

Giveaway
Giveaway

Giveaway

The
The

The

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Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details. Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snickt jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn鈥檛 receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there鈥檚 a message ABORT MISSION This is fucking scary I dont get it.. @explainingthejoke The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. The reply is titled 鈥渧ia VERY FAST DELIVERY.鈥 The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads: 聽nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette聽 containing Very Few Details. Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can鈥檛 be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy! This isn鈥檛 a joke. It is just cute. Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don鈥檛 have a sizable family fortune lying about.
Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are
 eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you
 feverish, shaking, and alone.
 However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that
 never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried
 Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details.
 Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the
 safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken.
 With all due respect,
 Lemony Snickt
jesstheespeon:

explainingthejoke:

popsicle-prince:

dark-clifford:

pooguns:

frenchtugboat:

bowieonthebelafonte:

When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn鈥檛 receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there鈥檚 a message

ABORT MISSION

This is fucking scary

I dont get it..


@explainingthejoke

The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. 
The reply is titled 鈥渧ia VERY FAST DELIVERY.鈥 The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads: 

聽nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. 
However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. 
Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette聽 containing Very Few Details. 
Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. 
With all due respect, 
Lemony Snicket 

Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY 
Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can鈥檛 be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy!
This isn鈥檛 a joke. It is just cute.


Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don鈥檛 have a sizable family fortune lying about.

jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent ...

Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, Xxx: OK, so, our that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX: A true programmer
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story:
 build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know,
 Xxx: OK, so, our
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything
 - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login.
 xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".
 xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am.
 xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
 XX:
A true programmer

A true programmer

Af, Books, and Community: ti skerb Retweeted Shan AF RJ mesa 15 - AF SP mesa 71 @ShanaBRX Jun 14 Fuck everyone who whines about ao3 News All News May 2019 Newsletter, Volume 135 Published: Thu 13 Jun 2019 01:03PM 03 Comments: 4 Recently, the Archive of Our Own has received an influx of new Chinese users, a result of tightening content restrictions on other platforms. We would like to extend our warmest welcome to them, and remind everyone that our committees are working to make AO3 as accessible as possible in languages other than English Read more... 20 t 2.8K 6.4K Show this thread ao3tagoftheday: zoe2213414: eabevella: naryrising: You can read the post here聽for more info, but I wanted to just add a bit about what this entails from my POV, on the Support team.聽 Somewhere between 录 to 1/3 of all our tickets last month were in Chinese (somewhere upwards of 300 out of 1200 or so), almost all from users just setting up their accounts or trying to find out how to get an invitation.聽 A lot of the tickets are what I鈥檇 characterize as聽鈥渋ntro鈥 tickets - they say hi, list favourite fandoms or pairings, or provide samples of fic they鈥檝e written. Although this isn鈥檛 necessary on AO3, this is not uncommon in Chinese fandom sites that you have to prove your credentials to get in (in fact it wasn鈥檛 uncommon in English-language fandom sites 15-20 years ago).聽 We respond to all of these tickets, even the ones that just say hi.聽 We check whether the user has managed to receive their invite or get their account sent up, and if they haven鈥檛, we help them do so.聽 This means taking every single ticket through our Chinese translation team twice, once so we make sure we understand the initial ticket, and then again to translate our reply.聽 This is a challenging process, although we鈥檝e found ways to streamline it and can normally get a reply out pretty quickly (like within a few days).聽 We do it because this is part of why AO3 exists in the first place - to provide a safe haven where users can post their works without worrying about censorship or sudden crackdowns on certain kinds of content.聽 We do it because this is important, and helping these users get their accounts and be able to share their works safely is why we鈥檙e here.聽 We hope that we鈥檒l be able to help as many of them as possible.聽聽 There have been a few (thankfully few, that I鈥檝e seen) complaints about these new AO3 users not always knowing how things work - what language to tag with, or what fandom tags to use, for instance.聽 To this I would say: 1. Have patience and be considerate.聽 They are coming to a new site that they aren鈥檛 familiar with, and using it in a language they may not be expert in, and it might take a while to learn the ropes.聽 You can filter out works tagged in Chinese if you don鈥檛 want to see them.聽 Or just scroll past.聽聽 2. You can report works tagged with the wrong language or the wrong fandom to our Policy and Abuse team using the link at the bottom of any page.聽 This will not cause the authors to聽鈥済et in trouble鈥 (a concern I鈥檝e heard before, as people are reluctant to report for these reasons).聽 It means the Policy and Abuse team will contact them to ask them to change the language/fandom tag, and if the creator doesn鈥檛, they can edit it directly.聽 If you remember Strikethrough or the FF.net porn ban or similar purges, please keep them in mind and consider that these users are going through something similar or potentially worse.聽 This is why AO3 exists.聽 We are doing our best to try and help make the transition smooth.聽聽 I am a Taiwanese and I鈥檇 like to put some context behind the recent influx of China based AO3 users. China is tightening their freedom of speech in recent years after Xi has became the chairman (he even canceled the 10 years long term of service of chairman, meaning he can stay as the leader of China as long as he lives鈥揾e has became a dictator). They censor words that are deemed 鈥渟ensitive鈥, you can鈥檛 type anything to criticize the chinise government. Big social media platform won鈥檛 even post the posts containing sensitive words. You don鈥檛 have the freedom of publish books without the books being approved by the government either. To disguise this whole Ninety Eighty-Four nightmare, they started to pick on the easy target: the women and the minorities (China is getting more and more misogynistic as a result of the government trying to control their male population through encouraging them to control the female population through 鈥渃hinese tradition family value鈥 but that鈥檚 another story). Last year, the chinese government arrested a woman who is a famous yaoi/BL novel writer named 澶╀竴 and sentenced her 10 years in jail for 鈥渟elling obscene publications鈥 and 鈥渋llegal publication鈥 (she鈥檚 not the only BL writer who got arrested. Meanwhile, multiple cases where men raped women only get about 2 years of jail time in China). It鈥檚 a warning to anyone who want to publish anything that鈥檚 鈥渘ot approved鈥 by the government that they can literally ruin you.聽 Just recently the chinese government 鈥渃ontacted鈥 website owners of one of their largest romance/yaoi/slash fiction sites 鏅夋睙 and announced that for now on, for the sake of a Clean Society, they can鈥檛 write anything that鈥檚 slightly 鈥渙bscene鈥. No sex scene, no sexual interaction, they can鈥檛 even write any bodily interaction below neck (I鈥檓 not kidding here). But that鈥檚 not their actual goal. They also listed other restriction such as: can鈥檛 write anything that鈥檚 about the government, the military, the police, 鈥渟ensitive history鈥, 鈥渞ace problems鈥, which is鈥 you basically can鈥檛 write anything that might be used as a tool to criticize the government (as many novels did). This recent development really hurt the chinese fanfic writers. They can鈥檛 write anything without the fear of being put on the guillotine by the government to show their control. Most of them don鈥檛 even think that deep politically, they just want to write slash fictions. But there are no platform safe in China, that鈥檚 why the sudden influx of chinese users to AO3. I bet it won鈥檛 be long before AO3 got banned in China, but until then, be a little bit patient to them. As much as I hate the chinese government, I pity their people. I鈥檓 crying so loud鈥s a Chinese, you don鈥檛 know how your kindness meant to us. When I鈥檓 young, I read 1984, and I thought this story is so unrealistic, but now, it鈥檚 getting tougher and tougher for fanfic and the writer in China. Thank you ao3. Thank you for the people who care about Chinese people. (hope I didn鈥檛 spell anything wrong) Hi everyone! As much as I poke fun at ao3 culture on this blog, I love the platform and the community and I鈥檓 glad that it can function as a refuge for Chinese fans, both writers and readers.So followers! I encourage you all to be welcoming and helpful to Chinese fans joining us on ao3 and to be patient as the platform figures out how to integrate them. If any of you are Chinese speakers and are inclined to volunteer with ao3, I鈥檓 sure that would be appreciated. As for the rest of us, let鈥檚 remember that ao3 exists as a sanctuary for our community, especially exactly those parts of it that are most at risk under Chinese censorship (lgbt+ content, explicit fics, etc.) and let鈥檚 take this opportunity to be grateful that our community has worked together so well for so long in order to create this sanctuary. I鈥檓 delighted that that effort can now be helpful to Chinese fans facing censorship, and I鈥檓 excited to see how Chinese fans and fan culture will interact and co-create with English speaking fandom.And with that, I鈥檓 off to slip ao3 an extra 10 dollars.
Af, Books, and Community: ti skerb Retweeted
 Shan AF RJ mesa 15 - AF SP mesa 71 @ShanaBRX Jun 14
 Fuck everyone who whines about ao3
 News
 All News
 May 2019 Newsletter, Volume 135
 Published: Thu 13 Jun 2019 01:03PM 03 Comments: 4
 Recently, the Archive of Our Own has received an influx of
 new Chinese users, a result of tightening content restrictions
 on other platforms. We would like to extend our warmest
 welcome to them, and remind everyone that our committees
 are working to make AO3 as accessible as possible in
 languages other than English
 Read more...
 20
 t 2.8K
 6.4K
 Show this thread
ao3tagoftheday:

zoe2213414:
eabevella:

naryrising:

You can read the post here聽for more info, but I wanted to just add a bit about what this entails from my POV, on the Support team.聽 Somewhere between 录 to 1/3 of all our tickets last month were in Chinese (somewhere upwards of 300 out of 1200 or so), almost all from users just setting up their accounts or trying to find out how to get an invitation.聽 A lot of the tickets are what I鈥檇 characterize as聽鈥渋ntro鈥 tickets - they say hi, list favourite fandoms or pairings, or provide samples of fic they鈥檝e written. Although this isn鈥檛 necessary on AO3, this is not uncommon in Chinese fandom sites that you have to prove your credentials to get in (in fact it wasn鈥檛 uncommon in English-language fandom sites 15-20 years ago).聽 We respond to all of these tickets, even the ones that just say hi.聽 We check whether the user has managed to receive their invite or get their account sent up, and if they haven鈥檛, we help them do so.聽 This means taking every single ticket through our Chinese translation team twice, once so we make sure we understand the initial ticket, and then again to translate our reply.聽
This is a challenging process, although we鈥檝e found ways to streamline it and can normally get a reply out pretty quickly (like within a few days).聽 We do it because this is part of why AO3 exists in the first place - to provide a safe haven where users can post their works without worrying about censorship or sudden crackdowns on certain kinds of content.聽 We do it because this is important, and helping these users get their accounts and be able to share their works safely is why we鈥檙e here.聽 We hope that we鈥檒l be able to help as many of them as possible.聽聽
There have been a few (thankfully few, that I鈥檝e seen) complaints about these new AO3 users not always knowing how things work - what language to tag with, or what fandom tags to use, for instance.聽 To this I would say:
1. Have patience and be considerate.聽 They are coming to a new site that they aren鈥檛 familiar with, and using it in a language they may not be expert in, and it might take a while to learn the ropes.聽 You can filter out works tagged in Chinese if you don鈥檛 want to see them.聽 Or just scroll past.聽聽
2. You can report works tagged with the wrong language or the wrong fandom to our Policy and Abuse team using the link at the bottom of any page.聽 This will not cause the authors to聽鈥済et in trouble鈥 (a concern I鈥檝e heard before, as people are reluctant to report for these reasons).聽 It means the Policy and Abuse team will contact them to ask them to change the language/fandom tag, and if the creator doesn鈥檛, they can edit it directly.聽
If you remember Strikethrough or the FF.net porn ban or similar purges, please keep them in mind and consider that these users are going through something similar or potentially worse.聽 This is why AO3 exists.聽 We are doing our best to try and help make the transition smooth.聽聽

I am a Taiwanese and I鈥檇 like to put some context behind the recent influx of China based AO3 users.
China is tightening their freedom of speech in recent years after Xi has became the chairman (he even canceled the 10 years long term of service of chairman, meaning he can stay as the leader of China as long as he lives鈥揾e has became a dictator). 
They censor words that are deemed 鈥渟ensitive鈥, you can鈥檛 type anything to criticize the chinise government. Big social media platform won鈥檛 even post the posts containing sensitive words. You don鈥檛 have the freedom of publish books without the books being approved by the government either.
To disguise this whole Ninety Eighty-Four nightmare, they started to pick on the easy target: the women and the minorities (China is getting more and more misogynistic as a result of the government trying to control their male population through encouraging them to control the female population through 鈥渃hinese tradition family value鈥 but that鈥檚 another story). 
Last year, the chinese government arrested a woman who is a famous yaoi/BL novel writer named 澶╀竴 and sentenced her 10 years in jail for 鈥渟elling obscene publications鈥 and 鈥渋llegal publication鈥 (she鈥檚 not the only BL writer who got arrested. Meanwhile, multiple cases where men raped women only get about 2 years of jail time in China). It鈥檚 a warning to anyone who want to publish anything that鈥檚 鈥渘ot approved鈥 by the government that they can literally ruin you.聽 
Just recently the chinese government 鈥渃ontacted鈥 website owners of one of their largest romance/yaoi/slash fiction sites 
鏅夋睙

and announced that for now on, for the sake of a Clean Society, they can鈥檛 write anything that鈥檚 slightly 鈥渙bscene鈥. No sex scene, no sexual interaction, they can鈥檛 even write any bodily interaction below neck (I鈥檓 not kidding here). 
But that鈥檚 not their actual goal. They also listed other restriction such as: can鈥檛 write anything that鈥檚 about the government, the military, the police, 鈥渟ensitive history鈥, 鈥渞ace problems鈥, which is鈥 you basically can鈥檛 write anything that might be used as a tool to criticize the government (as many novels did). 
This recent development really hurt the chinese fanfic writers. They can鈥檛 write anything without the fear of being put on the guillotine by the government to show their control. Most of them don鈥檛 even think that deep politically, they just want to write slash fictions. But there are no platform safe in China, that鈥檚 why the sudden influx of chinese users to AO3. 
I bet it won鈥檛 be long before AO3 got banned in China, but until then, be a little bit patient to them. As much as I hate the chinese government, I pity their people. 


I鈥檓 crying so loud鈥s a Chinese, you don鈥檛 know how your kindness meant to us. When I鈥檓 young, I read 1984, and I thought this story is so unrealistic, but now, it鈥檚 getting tougher and tougher for fanfic and the writer in China. Thank you ao3. Thank you for the people who care about Chinese people. (hope I didn鈥檛 spell anything wrong)


Hi everyone! As much as I poke fun at ao3 culture on this blog, I love the platform and the community and I鈥檓 glad that it can function as a refuge for Chinese fans, both writers and readers.So followers! I encourage you all to be welcoming and helpful to Chinese fans joining us on ao3 and to be patient as the platform figures out how to integrate them. If any of you are Chinese speakers and are inclined to volunteer with ao3, I鈥檓 sure that would be appreciated. As for the rest of us, let鈥檚 remember that ao3 exists as a sanctuary for our community, especially exactly those parts of it that are most at risk under Chinese censorship (lgbt+ content, explicit fics, etc.) and let鈥檚 take this opportunity to be grateful that our community has worked together so well for so long in order to create this sanctuary. I鈥檓 delighted that that effort can now be helpful to Chinese fans facing censorship, and I鈥檓 excited to see how Chinese fans and fan culture will interact and co-create with English speaking fandom.And with that, I鈥檓 off to slip ao3 an extra 10 dollars.

ao3tagoftheday: zoe2213414: eabevella: naryrising: You can read the post here聽for more info, but I wanted to just add a bit about what th...

Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story. xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy xxx: You're gonna love this ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time" xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story.
 xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything
 requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login
 xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time"
 xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am
 xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those
I found this on an old Git account

I found this on an old Git account