And
And

And

invitations
 invitations

invitations

shortness
 shortness

shortness

candids
 candids

candids

pounded
 pounded

pounded

fists
 fists

fists

no
 no

no

rvc
rvc

rvc

ifs
ifs

ifs

yours
yours

yours

🔥 | Latest

Creepy, Drinking, and Facts: R 43% 20:41 Sean 4 days ago HOW YOU DOIBIPHY Hey Sean! X 3 days ago Hey yourself You know it was only last week said to my pal;'if a girl opened with a Friends quote I'd probably just marry her Oh shit, I better buy a dress! ORMAGIE COM GIPHY Should probably go out once or twice first. Just to keep everyone's parents happy Meh, fuck em Alright I like your attitude Good job really if we're getting married Tell me things What things would you like? I have much wisdom Top 5 facts about Sean Fact 1.I'm up at 5am so I must be rude and ask to continue this in the morrow if that's ok Request granted. But i want a further 5 facts 2 days ago Alright you ready? Born ready 11 have been in a coma for 2 days 2. I once played an astronaut in a Universal Studios show 3. I'll make you hate me via puns 4.I coach football. 5. I can make you laugh out loud wherever you are with one simple joke You go Excellent facts! Can you prove number 5 please? Oh shit I meant I have experienced a 2 day coma. Not the last 2 days Yes can. Why do flamingoes only lift one leg up when they stand? 1. I've never broken a bone 2. Even though I'm a strong independent woman. spiders and creepy crawlies in my house freak me tf out 3. Got 4 sisters and an army of nieces and nephews 4. My wit makes people either hate me or fall madly in love with me 5. I'm an excellent drinking buddy Go on.... Yes i gathered thats what you meant about the coma hahah If they lifted both up they'd fall Over Ok that was pretty funny Considering proved my number 5,l'd like you to do the same Deal. Name the place and time Yesterday He got me there!
Creepy, Drinking, and Facts: R 43% 20:41
 Sean
 4 days ago
 HOW YOU DOIBIPHY
 Hey Sean! X
 3 days ago
 Hey yourself
 You know it was only last week
 said to my pal;'if a girl opened
 with a Friends quote I'd probably
 just marry her
 Oh shit, I better buy a dress!
 ORMAGIE COM
 GIPHY
 Should probably go out once or
 twice first. Just to keep
 everyone's parents happy
 Meh, fuck em
 Alright I like your attitude
 Good job really if we're getting
 married
 Tell me things
 What things would you like? I
 have much wisdom
 Top 5 facts about Sean
 Fact 1.I'm up at 5am so I must
 be rude and ask to continue this
 in the morrow if that's ok
 Request granted. But i want a
 further 5 facts
 2 days ago
 Alright you ready?
 Born ready
 11 have been in a coma for 2
 days
 2. I once played an astronaut in a
 Universal Studios show
 3. I'll make you hate me via puns
 4.I coach football.
 5. I can make you laugh out loud
 wherever you are with one simple
 joke
 You go
 Excellent facts! Can you prove
 number 5 please?
 Oh shit I meant I have
 experienced a 2 day coma. Not
 the last 2 days
 Yes can. Why do flamingoes
 only lift one leg up when they
 stand?
 1. I've never broken a bone
 2. Even though I'm a strong
 independent woman. spiders
 and creepy crawlies in my house
 freak me tf out
 3. Got 4 sisters and an army of
 nieces and nephews
 4. My wit makes people either
 hate me or fall madly in love with
 me
 5. I'm an excellent drinking buddy
 Go on....
 Yes i gathered thats what you
 meant about the coma hahah
 If they lifted both up they'd fall
 Over
 Ok that was pretty funny
 Considering proved my number
 5,l'd like you to do the same
 Deal. Name the place and time
 Yesterday
He got me there!

He got me there!

Be Like, Children, and Definitely: 48% 6:32 4G Thu., 8 Nov. 2018, 8:45 pm Ok ok. Valid point about the nudes but think about this... As you said 84 years later the movie titanic was made, it pulled an amazing $2.187 billion in the box office, won 11 Oscars and was the real birth of the great actor, Leonardo DiCaprio. A movie like that is remembered, not for the nudes but the love story that these nudes helped blossem into the romance of the century, envied by many. Not only could these nudes be the start of your own great romance but think about the royalties your own film could bring in another 84 years... Catherine, 24 Yes yes I hear you "but I won't be around for the royalties in 84 years" but Catherine.... Your children will reap the Australian Catholic University 11 km away benefits for years, so Catherine dont do it for me, don't do it for you... But do it for our children! Why won't I send you nudes? Let me remind you of this little movie called Thu., 8 Nov. 2018, 11:46 pm Titanic... a girl in 1912 has her naked body drawn in a sketchbook by a random dude that no one This is far and away the best opener has ever heard of... have ever heard in my 23 years on this Locks the drawing in a safe in a boat and THAT BOAT SINKS. And somehow 84 years later, the planet, I read it to my mum. Not even kidding. And she briefly discussed with me the idea of sending you a nude still ends up on television. No one is safe. nude purely for the comedic value of this message! What would it be like to date me? Ever ordered You've just clocked tinder, well done 10 nuggets and gotten 11 70O sir And the thought of setting our children up for life, now that's definitely tempting :p E42 Do it for the kids!!
Be Like, Children, and Definitely: 48%
 6:32
 4G
 Thu., 8 Nov. 2018, 8:45 pm
 Ok ok. Valid point about the nudes but
 think about this...
 As you said 84 years later the movie
 titanic was made, it pulled an amazing
 $2.187 billion in the box office, won
 11 Oscars and was the real birth of
 the great actor, Leonardo DiCaprio.
 A movie like that is remembered, not
 for the nudes but the love story that
 these nudes helped blossem into the
 romance of the century, envied by
 many. Not only could these nudes be
 the start of your own great romance
 but think about the royalties your own
 film could bring in another 84 years...
 Catherine, 24
 Yes yes I hear you "but I won't be
 around for the royalties in 84 years" but
 Catherine.... Your children will reap the
 Australian Catholic University
 11 km away
 benefits for years, so Catherine dont do
 it for me, don't do it for you... But do it
 for our children!
 Why won't I send you nudes?
 Let me remind you of this little movie called
 Thu., 8 Nov. 2018, 11:46 pm
 Titanic... a girl in 1912 has her naked body drawn
 in a sketchbook by a random dude that no one
 This is far and away the best opener
 has ever heard of...
 have ever heard in my 23 years on this
 Locks the drawing in a safe in a boat and THAT
 BOAT SINKS. And somehow 84 years later, the
 planet, I read it to my mum. Not even
 kidding. And she briefly discussed
 with me the idea of sending you a
 nude still ends up on television.
 No one is safe.
 nude purely for the comedic value of
 this message!
 What would it be like to date me? Ever ordered
 You've just clocked tinder, well done
 10 nuggets and gotten 11 70O
 sir
 And the thought of setting our children
 up for life, now that's definitely
 tempting :p
 E42
Do it for the kids!!

Do it for the kids!!

Saw, Bikini, and Girl: Husband saw a girl in a bikini doing this and thought he would follow her lead
Saw, Bikini, and Girl: Husband saw a girl in a bikini doing this and thought he would follow her lead

Husband saw a girl in a bikini doing this and thought he would follow her lead

Drinking, Drunk, and Food: Jennifer Dziura I've responded to this elsewhere around the Internet. Men who offer to buy women drinks are often intending to purchase a lowering of the woman's defenses. If you are a woman in a bar and a man offers to buy you a this: cheerfully ask for something nonalcoholic, while indicating get to know the guy. At least 50% of men will be angry. They weren't offering a gift or just trying to strike up conversation: they wanted you to be drunk and to let down your guard. In my own experience, I have twice been offered a drink and instead suggested food -- in both cases, very inexpensive food costing the same or less than a drink drink, try willingness to a and in both -- cases, the man responded angrily. 2 minutes ago Like Reply Jennifer Dziura In one case, I met a guy at a concert.I liked him. He suggested going to get a drink, but I was starving and suggested the kebab place around the corner. I can't remember who paid, but I had a cheap bowl of soup and the guy pouted and I never saw him again. The other time, I had done standup in a bar and an older guy offered to buy me a drink. I said I actually would love some popcorn, which was sold **at the bar for $2.** The man got angry and acted like I had cheated him somehow. being greek-god-of-hair: erwin-with-hairpins: rainfelt: cardozzza: notyourexrotic: (source) Whoa, I didn’t realize that it was so deliberate, I honestly thought it was unconscious Scary, scary. Gonna add on to this:From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, “serve her a stronger drink, I’m trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?” usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I’m a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl’s more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her. But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don’t know is buying you a drink, they’re NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they’re buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down. So: Tips for getting drinks- 1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser. 2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time. 3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol: Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail: X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state. Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%. Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%. Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21% Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%. Hope this helps someone out! Backing this up from years of bar tending.
Drinking, Drunk, and Food: Jennifer Dziura
 I've responded to this elsewhere around the
 Internet. Men who offer to buy women drinks
 are often intending to purchase a lowering of
 the woman's defenses. If you are a woman in
 a bar and a man offers to buy you a
 this: cheerfully ask for something
 nonalcoholic, while indicating
 get to know the guy. At least 50% of men will
 be angry. They weren't offering a gift or just
 trying to strike up conversation: they wanted
 you to be drunk and to let down your guard. In
 my own experience, I have twice been offered
 a drink and instead suggested food -- in both
 cases, very inexpensive food costing the
 same or less than a drink
 drink, try
 willingness to
 a
 and in both
 --
 cases, the man responded angrily.
 2 minutes ago Like Reply
 Jennifer Dziura
 In one case, I met a guy at a concert.I liked
 him. He suggested going to get a drink, but I
 was starving and suggested the kebab place
 around the corner. I can't remember who paid,
 but I had a cheap bowl of soup and the guy
 pouted and I never saw him again. The other
 time, I had done standup in a bar and an older
 guy offered to buy me a drink. I said I actually
 would love some popcorn, which was
 sold **at the bar for $2.** The man got angry
 and acted like I had cheated him somehow.
 being
greek-god-of-hair:


erwin-with-hairpins:

rainfelt:

cardozzza:

notyourexrotic:

(source)

Whoa, I didn’t realize that it was so deliberate, I honestly thought it was unconscious

Scary, scary.


Gonna add on to this:From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, “serve her a stronger drink, I’m trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?” usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I’m a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl’s more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her. But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don’t know is buying you a drink, they’re NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they’re buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down. So:
Tips for getting drinks-
1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser. 
2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.
3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:
Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:
X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.
Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.
Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.
Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%
Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.
Hope this helps someone out!


Backing this up from years of bar tending.

greek-god-of-hair: erwin-with-hairpins: rainfelt: cardozzza: notyourexrotic: (source) Whoa, I didn’t realize that it was so deliberat...

Apparently, Beautiful, and Children: Seanan McGuire @seananmcguire Oh, wow. Little girl in full meltdown because when her mom packed movies for the trip, she only packed the little boy's favorites 6/13/17, 4:02 PM 460 RETWEETS 1,625 LIKES Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Replying to @seananmcguire "FINDING NEMO is just as good," says Mom "DORY IS A GIRL LIKE ME AND YOU ONLY BROUGHT BOYS LIKE HIM," wails the girl I feel you, kiddo わ2 51 925 Mom is now asking girl to be reasonable, as apparently boy gets mad when he has to watch "girl" movies, and "You're more mature." わ35 42 620 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h I am so on this kid's side right now you have no idea 28 1,121 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Little boy has joined conversation: "I like MOANA she likes MOANA we should do MOANA." A protest singalong has begun h1 56 931 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Mom: "Don't disturb the other--" Both kids: "YOU'RE WELCOME YOU'RE WELCOME YOU'RE WELCOME." Mom--passengers. わ2 다 47 902 YOU SCREAM LIKE THE VENGEFUL MONSTERS YOU ARE, CHILDREN. YOU SCREAM ロ61 1,149 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Update: l am now on the mom's shit list for helping with the lyrics to "Shiny." Both children now shriek-singing "SHIIIINYYYYYY." I wirn 24 54 Seanan McGuireネ@seananmcgure·1h Little girl now singing "How Far l'll Go" while little boy has launched into "Let It Go." Mom appears to need a drink. YOU EARNED THIS, MOM 12 46 1,047 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h Mom: You're disturbing people! Older woman with German accent: Do you want to know how the song goes in German? GERMAN GRANDMOTHER NOW TEACHING US DISNEY SONGS IN GERMAN. JAPANESE GRANDMOTHER INCHING CLOSER 15 136 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h MOM LOOKS TRAPPED, CHILDREN ARE DELIGHTED, THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER 13 47 1,428 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h I am like, 95% sure both of these grandmothers would adopt these children if given half a chance 29 1,026 Seanan McGuire @seananmcguire·1h Japanese grandmother has a beautiful singing voice, and is teaching us "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" 10 52 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h We have attracted several more children and three more grandparents. I feel my work here is done peaceheather: linssweater: This thread omg ALWAYS reblog
Apparently, Beautiful, and Children: Seanan McGuire
 @seananmcguire
 Oh, wow. Little girl in full meltdown
 because when her mom packed movies
 for the trip, she only packed the little boy's
 favorites
 6/13/17, 4:02 PM
 460 RETWEETS 1,625 LIKES
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 Replying to @seananmcguire
 "FINDING NEMO is just as good," says
 Mom
 "DORY IS A GIRL LIKE ME AND YOU ONLY
 BROUGHT BOYS LIKE HIM," wails the girl
 I feel you, kiddo
 わ2
 51
 925

 Mom is now asking girl to be reasonable,
 as apparently boy gets mad when he has
 to watch "girl" movies, and "You're more
 mature."
 わ35
 42
 620
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 I am so on this kid's side right now you
 have no idea
 28
 1,121
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 Little boy has joined conversation: "I like
 MOANA she likes MOANA we should do
 MOANA." A protest singalong has begun
 h1
 56
 931
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 Mom: "Don't disturb the other--"
 Both kids: "YOU'RE WELCOME YOU'RE
 WELCOME YOU'RE WELCOME."
 Mom--passengers.
 わ2
 다 47
 902

 YOU SCREAM LIKE THE VENGEFUL
 MONSTERS YOU ARE, CHILDREN. YOU
 SCREAM
 ロ61
 1,149
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 Update: l am now on the mom's shit list for
 helping with the lyrics to "Shiny." Both
 children now shriek-singing
 "SHIIIINYYYYYY." I wirn
 24
 54
 Seanan McGuireネ@seananmcgure·1h
 Little girl now singing "How Far l'll Go"
 while little boy has launched into "Let It
 Go." Mom appears to need a drink. YOU
 EARNED THIS, MOM
 12
 46
 1,047
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 Mom: You're disturbing people!
 Older woman with German accent: Do you
 want to know how the song goes in
 German?

 GERMAN GRANDMOTHER NOW
 TEACHING US DISNEY SONGS IN
 GERMAN. JAPANESE GRANDMOTHER
 INCHING CLOSER
 15
 136
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 MOM LOOKS TRAPPED, CHILDREN ARE
 DELIGHTED, THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER
 13 47
 1,428
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 I am like, 95% sure both of these
 grandmothers would adopt these children
 if given half a chance
 29
 1,026
 Seanan McGuire @seananmcguire·1h
 Japanese grandmother has a beautiful
 singing voice, and is teaching us "Do You
 Want To Build A Snowman?"
 10
 52
 Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire 1h
 We have attracted several more children
 and three more grandparents. I feel my
 work here is done
peaceheather:

linssweater:
This thread omg
ALWAYS reblog

peaceheather: linssweater: This thread omg ALWAYS reblog