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🔥 | Latest

Bad, Batman, and Joker: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATMAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses his batcomputer He's sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWO-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face. a bat They hate me for being Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heads up which means Two-Face goes home BATMAN (CONT'D) It is just you and I, the Joker. Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy ΒΑTMAΝ I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clOwnly power THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a good guy. It contains a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie of
 its own. Here is the first page.
 BATMAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses his batcomputer
 He's sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWO-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face.
 a bat
 They hate me for being
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heads up which means Two-Face goes home
 BATMAN (CONT'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker.
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 ΒΑTMAΝ
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clOwnly power
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a good guy. It contains a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATHAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer. He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne. An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney. BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face They hate me for being a bat Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home. BATMAN (CONT 'D) It is just you and I, the Joker Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy BATMAN I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power. THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke. good guy. It contains a meirl
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread
 Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie
 of its own. Here is the first page.
 BATHAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer.
 He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne.
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney.
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face
 They hate me for being a bat
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home.
 BATMAN (CONT 'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 BATMAN
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power.
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke.
 good guy. It contains a
meirl

meirl

Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this
Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti
 Follow
 eKeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of lawyer commercials and then asked it
 to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
 Here is the first page
 LAWYER COMMERCIAL
 INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
 A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books
 are
 very wide. They have eaten too many words
 LAWYER
 Have you been hurt in an accidental
 car? Has the government sold your
 lungs without asking nicely? Are
 you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
 The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
 justice fruit only lawyers may touch
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 If so, you can act entitled for
 money. I'l help. I graduated from
 lawn school and all my teachers
 were bitten by dogs
 Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
 lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0
 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 I have been a lawyer for over 35
 weekends and I'm currently dating
 the Bill of Rights for fun.
 We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1
 break its heart. There's nothing we can do.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 Let me use it to send your asbestos
 to court. I will wear two suits and
 I promise to steal the judge's
 gavel for you
 The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of
 gavels pour out. His promise has worth
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 My clients never go to jail town
 We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado
 LAWYER (CONT 'D)
 Remember, you don't pay any money
 unless you pay us money. Call for a
 free use of phone
 The phone digits appear. It's your social security number
A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

Apparently, Brains, and Confidence: bidoof change.org Trending petition Matt-There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it. Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples' Guns So They Can't Shoot Them thetwinkerbell It's still gonna shoot... And they're gonna lose a finger ssj14goku No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this domozillla This is a gun we're talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger. ssj14goku The finger blocks it dildomuncher3000 The finger won't block it the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond. ssj14goku The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it's not that hard to understand lgbltsandwitch People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded. hungwy No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong. blipblerp Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger. gorps No the finger would stop it jorycancrochet I'm loving the idiocy of this post. Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom... Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V snakegay no the finger would stop it indianworiorprincess You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I'Il I'll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet Dumdasses egay sna the finger would stop it meatswitch raptorific Apparently for dudes who've got a compulsive need to be the smartest person in the room, "someone who's wrong in a really stupid way who has unshakable confidence that they're smarter than you" is their kryptonite. You can play dumb on almost any subject and their ego, their staunch belief that the masses are so far below them, will blind them to the fact that you're just fucking with them, and as long as you don't admit you're fucking with them or acknowledge that there's anything Off about what you're saying, they won't be able to stop themselves trying to get you to Respect Their Authority, and they won't be able to see that will literally never happen. lynati The finger is smooth in all directions. That's why it can stop the bullet.
Apparently, Brains, and Confidence: bidoof
 change.org
 Trending petition
 Matt-There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we
 think you might be interested in signing it.
 Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000
 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole
 Of Peoples' Guns So They Can't Shoot Them
 thetwinkerbell
 It's still gonna shoot... And they're gonna lose a
 finger
 ssj14goku
 No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this
 domozillla
 This is a gun we're talking about. The projectile
 is fired using an explosion, not by compressed
 air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling
 shot. People would be lucky if they only lost
 their finger.
 ssj14goku
 The finger blocks it
 dildomuncher3000
 The finger won't block it the shaft is only there
 for keeping the bullet straight, all the
 propulsion happens behind the bullet. The
 bullet would rip through the finger, not that
 many would actually fit without the victim
 being a child, and beyond.
 ssj14goku
 The bullet would go forward a little and then
 hit the finger and stop it's not that hard to
 understand
 lgbltsandwitch
 People are going to lose
 their hands. Go watch
 Mythbusters. They did
 an episode on this, the
 hand fucking exploded.
 hungwy
 No, the bullet would
 start to go but stop at
 the finger. Thats basic
 physics. Also hands dont
 explode normally they
 did something wrong.
 blipblerp
 Why the dingleknockers would you even
 consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a
 loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling
 the bullet at that close of range would shatter
 the finger at the very least; this is a petition for
 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their
 hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a
 persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth
 it sure as hell will explode a finger.
 gorps
 No the finger would stop it
 jorycancrochet
 I'm loving the idiocy of this post.
 Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom...
 Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V
 snakegay
 no the finger would stop it
 indianworiorprincess
 You guy who think the bullet would stop at the
 finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer
 to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I'Il
 I'll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet
 Dumdasses
 egay
 sna
 the finger would stop it
 meatswitch
 raptorific
 Apparently for dudes who've got a compulsive need
 to be the smartest person in the room, "someone
 who's wrong in a really stupid way who has
 unshakable confidence that they're smarter than
 you" is their kryptonite. You can play dumb on
 almost any subject and their ego, their staunch
 belief that the masses are so far below them, will
 blind them to the fact that you're just fucking with
 them, and as long as you don't admit you're fucking
 with them or acknowledge that there's anything
 Off about what you're saying, they won't be able to
 stop themselves trying to get you to Respect Their
 Authority, and they won't be able to see that will
 literally never happen.
 lynati
 The finger is smooth in all directions. That's
 why it can stop the bullet.