Yesterday at 1135 I ummed and ahhed about posting this if this doesn't apply to you please don't feel attacked by it in anyway but tbh I'm still absolutely fumin' Pissed off is not the word Grrr So mad at sum ppl Carnt take them no more To the absolute nutter comedy genius that it may concern I know you're crazy I know people always say you are an utter loon I know when you go to work at your dad's company sometimes you wear a funny tie or odd socks I know you do hilarious pranks and everyone says you're mental That's not all I know about you I know your mates think you are a legend And I know you call your mates things like whatever their first name is followed by -meister or whatever their second name is followed by -ski I know it is only a matter of time that Perrier send you an award for comedy and know you only have to wait for the call to do the Radio 1 breakfast show because you know you'd be brilliant and I also know it would just be too mad for some people to cope with I realise you are basically a chilled out entertainer and that's great I'm happy for you But listen I would REALLY like the 6 R2D2 you stole from my dj stand last Saturday If you could also ask around I'd appreciate the return of the 334 vintage Lando Calrissian figure that went on the Sunday the week before Hopefully on the way home it didn't drop out of your pocket whilst you were putting traffic cones on statues or snapping off peoples windscreen wipers with the perfect timing and delivery of a latter day Richard Pryor because here's the thing I've had Star Wars stuff on my dj stand for 23 years and whilst it's undoubtedly the single funniest thing that's ever happened you are in the case of Lando the first and in the case of R2 only the second person who's ever broken that 4th wall and stolen something It IS funny It WAS brilliant I can picture the standing ovation you got after carrying out this edgy avant garde piece of satirical magnificence but still now the applause has died down and the high fives have ended I'd really like it back Financially it isn't really worth much Honestly I've got several of each However here's the thing these Star Wars figures are actually worth more than anything you'll ever own because they belong to ME Similarly they are better than any of the Adam Sandler DVDs or Mrs Browns Boys collectors scripts you've got because they belong to ME Finally and this is actually really important these were given to me as gifts Now I know that seems strange because all the gifts you receive are generic things from the gift ideas section at Boots but imagine if I came to your dad's company and stole that Singing Tommy Trout you got for your 18th birthday or that solar powered dancing bobble head Queen your first girlfriend gave you after staying together since secondary school before she eventually left you for your former best mate also from school Joneseyo total bastard but funny bloke used to get all your jokes Exactly you'd be unhappy So if you could go over the the shelf where you've got you two plastic Wednesday night corporate League runners up 5-a-side trophies move the copy of Peter Kay's autobiography and retrieve my R2 or Lando whichever you ended up with please bring it to The Foundry Project tonight we will have an absolute laugh I'll call you the renegade of comedy and we need never speak of it agairn And maybe in future I dunno don't steal stuff from people who are working whilst you are out having a good time? Just a thought Commen re nd 88 others You 9 shares Brilliant post! Hope it works ke Reply More on Put up missing posters and offer requests as a reward eply More ied ep es This is a post by a DJ i know his posts are incredible Comedy undertones Meme
ON 2019-05-09 16:40:13 BY
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