Verizon LTE 1209 PM a houstoncraigslistorg image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth nope Sunroof nope Fancy wheels nope Rear view camera nopebut it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story One day my Corolla started making a strange sound I didn't give a shit and ignored it It went away The End You could take the engine out of this car drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge fish it out of the water a thousand years later put it in the trunk of the car fill the gas tank up with Nutella turn the key and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do Vote yes Consent to sex ves Rent a car it IS a car This car's got history It's seen some shit People have done straight things in this car People have done gay things ın this car It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual oil is listed as optional When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show it caused all 2000 attendees to spontaneously yawn The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof Four people died The event is chronicled in the documentary Bored to Death The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla You wanna know more? Great I had my car fill out a Facebook survey Favorite food spaghetti Favorite tv show Alf Favorite band tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car I got back a single piece of paper that said It's a Corolla It's fine Let's face the facts this car isn't going to win any beauty contests but neither are you Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife This isn't the car you want it's the car you deserve The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes This man knows how to sell a car Meme











found @ 26 likes ON 2018-09-23 18:28:58 BY

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