People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all posted on Sept 24 2015 at 952 am Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter UK So during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost this happens Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone 03 thebibliosphere doebarnes mugsandpugs jottingprosaist shredsandpatches hedwig-dordt naznomad martingoresangst Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys … Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX” … I mean Comparatively… Like in My Immortal it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it It’s very simplistic Ikea-style sex insert tab A into slot B but that’s better than this vague useless composition of random nonsensical placement and movement of body parts So yes the sex in My Immortal is in this sense better @goddessemily was it this post? Meme

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found @ 32 likes ON 2019-02-24 21:18:57 BY esmemes.com

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