MY NEXT LIFE George Carlin 1937-2008 I Want to Live My Next Life Backwards You Start Out Dead and Get That Out of the Way Then You Wake Up in a Nursing Home Feeling Better Every Day Then You Get Kicked Out for Being Too Healthy Enjoy Your Retirement and Collect Your Pension Then When You Start Work You Get a Gold Watch on Your First Day You Work 40 Years Until You're Too Young to Work You Get Ready for High School Drink Alcohol Party and You're Generally Promiscuous Then You Go to Primary School You Become a Kid You Play and You Have No Responsibilities Then You Become a Baby and Thenyou Spend Your Last 9 Months Floating Peacefully in Spa-Like Conditions-Central Heating Room Service on Tap and Then You Finish Off as an Orgasm