22 HOURS AGO warlord _357 Following UC Original Logo 260 likes Regrann from @warlord_357_ A recent study conducted by the US Health Department shows Starbucks coffee is more addicting than crack cocaine Derek Whistleton a US Health Department representative sat down for an interview with the local DC newspaper Presidential Times where he said that the Health Department gathered data for the study over the course of 26 months “We really wanted to ensure we took the time to gather adequate & conclusive data this was no fly-by-night operation” When asked what data was gathered & studied over the 26 month period Whistleton replied “It’s simple it can all be tracked by units consumed & industry profits” “We used Salt Lake City Utah as our test demographic and gathered all information used in the study from the patterns of Starbucks coffee & crack cocaine use by the citizens of Salt Lake City” When asked why they decided to base their entire study regarding the addictiveness of crack compared to coffee in a seemingly mild-mannered city such as SaltLakeCity Whistler replied “We wanted to ensure we had a completely random sample demographic so we decided to pick a city out of hat and drew Salt Lake City Utah” According to the study the citizens of Salt Lake City consumed Starbuckscoffee 9999% more frequently than crack “We were amazed at the results of our findings The addictiveness of crack didn’t even hold a candle to that of Starbucks” According to the Salt Lake City Police Department’s records crack is turning an estimated profit of $600000 per year Starbucks however is a billion dollar industry in Salt Lake City “Thousands of Salt Lake City housewives are spending upwards of $1300 a month on Starbucks coffee & people just are not spending that much money on crack period case closed” said Whistler “We are actually wondering if it’s possible that Starbucks is actually putting a highly addictive substance like crack into their coffee in the first place I mean people aren’t drinking Starbucks coffee because it tastes good that’s for sure It was also explain the exorbitant prices they charge” Read more in comments ⬇️ Meme

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found @ 202 likes ON 2018-11-29 03:17:34 BY esmemes.com

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